#I create someone who will stand against the Absolute (although it's for personal reasons; not because it's the “right” thing to do). | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roobylavender · 4 months

Note

considering what you have spoken about regarding selina do you also get frustrated with like…i cant quite explain it but sometimes especially in more recent years shes been posed or positioned like some sort of damsel that needs a big strong man to save her and like im not saying she should be portrayed with the “hollywood level feminism” for lack of a better term im just think about how old versions of selina would have hated that. like im just thinking of anytime in the reeves movie where bruce grabs her or forces her mouth shut or even when he didnt allow her to kill falcone and im just thinking she should claw the fuck out of him for that. i just miss a version of selina who wouldnt allow anyone to walk all over her personal autonomy like that

oh absolutely! in fact this is specifically why i can't stand loeb's take on her character lol (and as we both know that was a significant point of reference for the reeves film). it's really jarring to transition from her volume one and two canon to the long halloween / dark victory / when in rome. i think a lot of people tend to latch onto these books because tim sale's art is to die for and it's obv hard not to enjoy a good murder mystery. in that aspect they're still books i can enjoy in isolation. but i find it very difficult to enjoy them as a selina fan specifically because in every single one it's like she's looking for solace and security in a man and i'm not sure why. like what was so bad about her original backstory of having a deadbeat dad (whether you ascribe to the volume one or volume two version of him) and why did she need to go looking for her "real" father in carmine falcone. why did she need to seek out temporary boytoy relief in italy. why did she dream about being saved by bruce. none of it really has a reason other than to create a "lack" in her for the sake of it being there, because she'd never needed a man like that before in her post-crisis narrative. as you mentioned it was quite to the contrary and she was fiercely independent and protective of her own peace, esp from men. when she felt empty or without a connection or lifeline to someone real, it was mostly about people like maggie or holly or arizona. her people

what i think it ultimately comes down to are two things: the first thing is the diminishment of her post-crisis origins. after all, it's convenient to ignore how distrustful selina is of people, and of men with power at their leisure to abuse specifically, when her post-crisis origins are no longer relevant to her personal characterization. although selina's status as a sex worker is more prominent now, it was more or less completely swept under the rug for the bulk of volume two. loeb also refused to engage with it in any capacity. it only really resurfaced with the conclusion to volume two because it drew direct parallels to how we initially found her in volume one, and then brubaker expanded on it once again in his take on the character, which was notably juxtaposed against a pre-existing romance with bruce and brings me to the second thing. i've already waxed about this at length so this may very well be recap but i really don't think selina's lack of control over her personal autonomy can be divorced of the modern portrayal of the romance. when selina looking for security and understanding and comfort in bruce is what drives the romance forward there's not much room to maintain her original values and guarded demeanor, if not her outright defensiveness and hostility. a lot of people look at the extensive trauma selina has experienced and argue that she deserves to be in a relationship with someone who allows her to let those walls down. this isn't incorrect in theory. but it does repeatedly ignore who she is. it's kind of like the point i was making about bruce yesterday. exploring the inherently abusive nature of robin or of bruce's right to his children in light of that fact is interesting to do, but the actual execution has rarely managed to take into account who bruce actually is

for however nice it might be for selina to let her walls down romantically and look for solace in bruce—and i say this mostly for the sake of argument, personally i would argue against its necessity—it's realistically not something she's actually going to do. at least not as willfully as she's been portrayed to. realistically she's going to make it extremely hard, which if anything is precisely the appeal. i love it when selina gives bruce a hard time. i love that it's not supposed to be easy or maybe even a possibility for him to win her over bc there's so much about his own ideological stances that's flawed and in opposition to her own. she doesn't have to be any less unrelenting in her principles and worldview for that romance between them to be compelling bc at the end of the day the entire crux of it is that against all odds bruce cares. for however wrong he thinks she might be in a given moment or in her stance against the government, he knows who she is and how hard she's fought and what she's survived and it makes him sympathetic to her because she's real. she's a wonderful character through which to explore the logical limits of bruce's self-righteousness and categorization of crime, as well as a wonderful mirror to hold up to his face as he starts to ask himself whether what he's doing is really the only means of keeping the city safe. and the novelty of it all is that you don't have to sacrifice her character for any of that to be true. writers have simply deluded themselves into believing that they have to and that's why we are where we are today

#you're so real about the reeves movie btw i think she should have kicked him off of a building personally #outbox #also not something i mentioned above but i think a looooot of people cling to bronze age selina #because it was purportedly her first 'positive' portrayal. personally i would argue against that though #i think her golden age iteration was plenty 'positive' and there was an inherent understanding that although she loved supervillainy #she wasn't necessarily evil in a way comparable to other rogues. she always had an inclination towards mercy and bruce Noticed that #which is what made their relationship really interesting. bc she was committing crimes and in his head he was like #yeaaaah she's wrong. but she's also not hurting anyone per se. and she's so pretty. let me turn a blind eye it's fine #these were more generic ideas that newell subsequently rewrapped in new skin and then further developed along a political lens #but i think a lot of people comparatively prefer bronze age selina bc it fully embraced a romance in the most traditional sense #so at the end of the day a lot of the fan sentiment really comes down to preferring wish fulfillment over good storytelling. at least imo #bronze age selina to me is one of the most boring characters ever. and i also hate that she has to 'prove' she's no longer villainous to br #to bruce. and the fact that he suspects her. like since the 40s it's been word of law by the ogs that bruce Doesn't suspect her #he's the first person to not suspect her while everyone around him is judging him for it #i know writers and perspectives change etc etc but when that's what the original creators of both characters are telling you #i feel like it has to hold some weight #so yeah. bronze age might as well be the shit under my shoe it's so boring and bland and most of all ahistorical #bronze age batkat i mean

9 notes · View notes

my-strange-attraction · 8 months

Text

A Treatise on why Label Policing is Bad

Alternatively named: I do have reading comprehension, you're just a goddamn adult who somehow doesn't know that people can disagree with you for fully thought out and informed reasons and not be a bad person.

I'm kinda tired and don't wanna get riled up because I have work early tomorrow morning but I don't wanna forget to make this post so I'm just gonna jump right into it. I got in a dispute, here's the context for the post in pictures:

(Under the cut because I know this is going to be a long one, but please read if you have the spoons because I think it's important)

The original post:

The self-reblog from OP continuing the rant:

And my response:

You could argue I was asking for OP to get mad at me and write a big post then block me. You would probably be right, but I thought it was important. This IS where radical feminism starts, and I thought it was important to point that out and warn people against it. Also if you've been with me for a while, you know that label anarchy is my whole schtick. I do not stand for label policing, it's just simply one of the worst offenses in my world.

Anyways they answered back. I'm going to go through their answer point by point because they (and some of their followers who anon'ed me) really thought they got me good and disproved all my points. And I still think this is an important subject, so I will gladly take the chance to elaborate my points.

Nope, next question. No, but in all seriousness, there is a huge difference in being frustrated about how people are perceiving a label that you're using versus trying to define that label for everyone else who uses it.

Newsflash: people can use labels in different ways! Label fluidity 101 example is bi vs pan. People use these labels for different reasons and there is so much overlap that there can't really be a solid difference between the two that encompasses all the reasons someone might choose one over the other. Hell, maybe they just like the flag better.

You don't have to be a label anarchist like me to concede that point (although I do highly recommend, being a label anarchist is a blast) and if you understand that, then there's really not that much of a jump to understand why someone might want to microlabel (e.g. bi lesbian) or why someone who might more accurately be described as bi might want to use lesbian as a descriptor instead.

Part of being queer is finding joy in identity. Would you really deny someone else that right?

Gonna be real with you, I don't do background checks when I'm reblogging. I did a cursory glance of your blog just because I was doing a long response and wanted to be sure you weren't actually just a terf. Sue me.

Couple points here. One, words are made up, and the definitions of them are constantly evolving. I'm a writer so I'm absolutely more obnoxious about this than other people, but if you want to change the definition of a word, literally all you have to do is use it in that way enough, and people will understand what you're saying. Especially with identity words.

Two, who is "we"? Lesbians in general? We are not a monolith. I am one, and I don't agree that it's a hard boundary. I do agree that in the general sense of the word, used in it's truest form, it excludes men. That doesn't mean it's always used that way, for the aforementioned reasons.

Three, jesus christ I can't believe you're doing the one where you imply that me saying words are made up is what makes men rape women. Biphobia was created on that fallacy.

See above: bi and pan example. Bi lesbian and bi can be functionally the same label, but for some people, the former is just a more comfortable descriptor.

Nah, I advocate for both microlabeling and macrolabeling because literally none of it matters or hurts anyone. People should get to identify however they feel suits them best. That's part of the joy of being queer.

Also, as I mentioned, I'm a writer and I LOVE playing with words. I'm also a philosophy nerd which might explain why I'm so fucking cerebral about it all. Not everyone has to be like me in regards to how they view labels, I understand that I am absolutely the extreme, but everyone should be allowed to because, I repeat, NOBODY IS BEING HURT BY IT.

I ignored that part of the post because I am not a men's rights activist. I thought Barbie 2023 was too nice to the Kens in the end. I'm a misandrist (ok that's mostly a joke). That part wasn't for me.

Heh, just plain wrong. My college, which I have attended for the past three years and where I am currently in my last year, has an over 70% queer population. Not gonna dox myself, but it's well known for being one of the queerest schools in the US. I am constantly talking to Real Actual Queer People face to face. Also I'm mostly on tumblr for the fandoms. This is just my queer sideblog.

I'm an English major, bro. Reading comprehension is kinda my job. And that's a lazy gotcha by the way, that's just the easiest way to discount someone who you disagree with on the internet. Be more creative.

Also DNIs are kind of a hazy concept tbh. The DNI was listed on your pinned post, not the post which I reblogged. In hindsight, you may have put it in the tags of the original post, as all I saw was a reblog, but you have to understand that the internet as a whole is kind of moving away from DNIs because they're so nebulous and weird and hard to follow. Also I thought your post was problematic so I wanted to say it. The morality there is kinda shaky, I'll admit. There, one point for you. I don't regret it.

Something tells me you don't actually wish me the best...

+ bonus the tags

Don't have time? This is a pretty long post. Though to be fair I don't have the time either, it is way too late for me to be up responding to this, so I'll give you benefit of the doubt.

I am a full time student and work two campus jobs, plus have rehearsals and clubs most nights. I do admit to spending a lot of time scrolling on tumblr, but at least I'm not embarrassed by it like you seem to be.

You are four years older than me, not ten. You're not even 30 yet. Chill, ok? And maybe don't go around throwing the kys word when talking to someone you disagree with on the internet, someone might take it the wrong way.

For some reason I don't think you were laughing typing up this reply...

Anyway, that's it. I spent way too much brain energy on this, but it was important, so if you made it this far, thanks for putting up with my rambly ways. If you saw a typo, no you didn't. I'm tired.

#queer #labels #identity #cw exclusionism #cloudy rambles

4 notes · View notes

mimzy-writing-online · 3 years

Text

Writing Toph Beifong, Advice from a Blind Writer

I’m Mimzy, an actual visually impaired writer and blogger who talks a lot about writing blind characters accurately and sensitively. A while back someone sent me an anon asking how to write Toph more accurately and sensitively.

Anonymous asked: Hi there! Your blog has been super-helpful already - I thought I knew a bit about writing with blind characters, but it turns out there was a lot to learn - but this is more specific. I'm writing a The Last Airbender fanfiction, and one of the characters is Toph. I think the fandom has done a fairly good job of respecting her blindness, but what are some things you'd like to see when people write her? I want to represent the character as best as possible; thanks in advance!

It’s taken a while for me to answer because I have a lot of thoughts about it as both a blind writer and someone who has read a lot of atla fanfiction. So here we go:

Before we get started, I want to mention some things:

One: I have an entire series for writing blind characters that continues to grow with time and the most up-to-date version can be found pinned as the top post on my blog. There will be a time-stamp for when the post was last edited and a long series of links to all relevant posts on the subject.

Here’s a quick link to that post, but again, all you have to do is click my blog url and you’ll find it immediately.

Two: I’ve noticed something amazing about the atla fandom and I would like to thank you for it. I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers have taken to writing image descriptions for both the fanart and memes you post in the fandom, whether it’s OP including the description or another blogger adding it themselves. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a fandom so consistently doing this and that’s incredible. Realizing how many different blogs were picking up this habit has warmed my heart.

I’d like to see writers use her other senses. There’s soooo so much more to her O&M (Orientation and Mobility) than earth sense.

Beyond sight and earth bending, there’s hearing, touch, smell, taste, sense of direction, hot vs cold, sense of pain, sense of where your body parts are in relation to the rest of you, sense of internal well-being, etc. Before Toph had mastery of her earth bending, she had to have mastery of those too.

Toph also must have very strong opinions about certain smells, sounds, tastes, and textures. Toph is opinionated about everything, and when so much of your understanding of the world depends on senses that most people are ignoring in favor of some other sense you don’t have, it gets frustrating. I’m sure that tree looks pretty but the smell is terrible. Who cares if this fabric looks pretty, it’s scratchy, do. not. like. at. all.

But also in positive ways too. Oh, that flower arrangement looks bland and monochromatic? Who cares, it smells sweet and honey-like. Weird dark cavern with high ceiling and no light? The harmonics are awesome.

Every character probably has a certain sight or image they’re particularly fond of: Katara watching snow fall, or Aang enjoying how small the world looks from up on Appa, or Zuko enjoying the sunrise every morning during meditation. In that line, Toph must have some things personal to her that she enjoys.

I imagine she likes the taste of foods familiar to her childhood, the smell of whatever flowers grew around her home, and the texture of certain kinds of dirt Example: loose dirt probably isn’t the best for seeing, but I think she would enjoy how it feels to run her fingers through it or maybe enjoy the way it softens her perception of the world the same way sighted people like to see colorful, bright lights reflecting off puddles in the middle of rain.

If you struggle with this, that’s okay. I recommend taking some time to think about it for yourself, to find what tastes and smells and textures and sounds you enjoy the most, what makes you feel safe and at home, what brings you comfort, and relate that back to Toph.

In a Modern AU, I want to see Toph have a cane. Even in a Modern AU with bending included in the world building, I think Toph would benefit from having a cane.

The cane has a lot more function than bumping into things. A big part is that it signals to others that you are very obviously blind. Which is a big deal because sighted people are really, really bad at spotting the blind person.

(psst, please stop saying ‘the blank look in her eyes’ because I swear to god it’s been killing me inside for years.)

Also, even in an AU with bending, I think Toph would like the advantage of tapping her cane to create a stronger, more distinct vibration than a small shifting of her weight on her feet. It would have more control.

You could give Toph a guide animal, buuuuuuut, um, Toph is not a guide dog person. Like, there are some people who definitely prefer a guide dog, and some people who definitely prefer a cane, and some who definitely prefer no mobility device at all. Toph does not have the vibes of someone who wants to be both responsible and reliant on an animal when she’s so insistent that she can take care of herself on her own. Toph likes animals, but not that much.

Although, yeah, only 10% of the blind community use mobility devices, so cane and guide dog users are the minority of the blind community, but I stand by the vibe that Toph would love the independence of a cane. Also, it’s almost never ever done. Modern AUs never seem to touch much on Toph’s O&M skills with canes or guide dogs.

I wrote a whole post on everything you need to know about canes, what orientation and mobility is, how you learn O&M, what kind of canes exist, how to use them, how to describe the sensory input a cane gives you, and everything I know about guide dogs from past research.

Honestly, you could give Toph (or any blind character) a cane in any AU, because I fully stand by the theory that canes are a piece of technology that has been invented, lost, and reinvented again and again.

I wrote “I found a piece of lost blindness history” a few months ago after a visit to see my grandparents. My grandmother told me how her blind aunt found a way to write letters by hand to send to my grandmother when she was a child. I speculated on how the long cane has probably been invented and then lost and then reinvented over and over again in history, as well as giving a little history on the growing popularity of guide dogs in the 20th century following World War 1.

About the “blank look in her eyes,” I have a theory to the exact cause and nature of Toph’s blindness.

I know it’s common to think that the milky green color of her eyes is why she’s blind, though I’m not sure how many realize that milky green color is caused by severe cataracts. At least, cataracts is what I assume to be the reason for the color of her eyes. However, people with cataracts still have some remaining sense of light and shadow perception.

Only 9% of the blind community is completely blind, seeing absolutely nothing. The rest have some remaining vision, even if that’s only light and shadow perception or the perception of vague movement.

The percentage of people born completely blind is even smaller.

Toph says that she’s never been able to see, which would lead me to guess that the initial cause of her blindness was a defect with the visual processing part of her brain. I also theorize that the cataracts developed slowly over her very formative years and that she likely wasn’t born with them. For that reason, I think it would have taken a few weeks or months for her parents to realize there was something wrong with her eyes.

Here is a post about the developmental years of blind children and how their life would differ from both sighted children and from someone who went blind as an adult.

What is it like to see nothing?

It’s a concept that sighted people struggle with and I completely understand. I myself didn’t understand the concept of “nothing” until someone explained it as this:

“Imagine trying to see out the back of your head.”

Which, genuinely, imagine that. Try that. Because here’s what I found. There’s no part of my body that can help perceive that. I don’t have eyes there, nor do I have a part of my brain that can process that. Because of this, there is no sense of light or dark, no shape or shadow or movement or depth that I can perceive. There is nothing.

And honestly, it gives me a headache trying to think too much about it.

Toph doesn’t see black, doesn’t have a mental image of it. When people talk about light and dark, Toph has nothing to base the concept on. The closest relation she has to that is silence versus sound, or her earth sense when she’s in the air on Appa versus when she’s on solid ground. But it’s not the same.

I would like to examine the way the show tried to describe Toph’s earth sense, that black void with ripples of white stretching from her feet and outwards. Television is a visual medium so of course their explanation of Toph’s earth sense would be visual, but that’s not what it’s actually like in her head. More accurately, it’s like touching the back of your head to something and feeling what’s solid behind it and what has more give. A wall versus a pillow for example. Slamming your hand on a flimsy table and feeling it rattle under your palm. And for someone so adept at using that sense, she feels not just the table surface under her palm, but the individual rattles down the four legs, how uneven those rattles are because the legs are carved decoratively instead of solid planks, and how the foot of each leg bumps against the ground, and how the floor vibrates in response to the impact, which she feels in both her feet and hand.

About Toph’s Relationship with Her Parents

It’s not something I see touched on much. There’s been a lot of focus on Zuko and Azula’s relationship with their parents and the abuse, as well as exploration of Sokka and Katara’s trauma with losing their mother, and Sokka looking up to his warrior father while Katara struggles with her abandonment issues.

Please don’t take this as a critique, because there are a few valid reasons for this and I would like to give you some insight on how to explore Toph’s relationship with her parents.

For starters, the show had a lot more reason to focus on Zuko and Azula’s parents, with Fire Lord Ozai being the primary villain and Zuko’s greatest abuser, and Azula’s dependent worship of her father in response to Ursa’s neglect and favoritism of Zuko, which was likely Ursa’s response to Ozai’s favoritism of Azula. Their parents are huge driving motivators for why Zuko and Azula make the decisions and mistakes they do, why they are at one point in the show the villains themselves. (And why I think Azula should get a redemption arc and some healing.)

Katara’s trauma of losing her mother and blaming herself is a huge factor in both her response to the war, her relationship with her bending, and her motherly nature with her friends. The show has to explore that. Just as it has to explore Sokka’s problems with toxic masculinity in response to being the man of his village, and his desire to be a great warrior and leader like the father he idolizes.

The show needs to explore that to make the plot move forward, and it benefits from these being two sibling sets with different responses to their upbringing and different sibling dynamics, setting them up as foils for each other.

The show also wouldn’t benefit by giving Lao and Poppy Beifong more screen time. Their established character were two nobles who kept as far out of the war as possible and prospered monetarily for it. Poppy was polite and demure and Lao liked to lead the conversation. Unless the gAang decided to return to Toph’s home, those characters had no reason to pop up anywhere in the show. And if they did, they would be a hinder to Toph and her part in the plot as both Aang’s earth bending teacher and as the greatest earth bender in the world, tossing Fire Nation soldiers eight ways to Sunday.

So truly, I understand that there’s not a whole lot of canon material (comparatively) to go off of when developing this, but I will offer some insight on what is there in canon.

Toph’s relationship with her parents is explored in that it maps out why Toph doesn’t want to be mothered by Katara, why she wants to prove how independent she is, but there’s very little on screen interaction between Toph and her parents.

Toph deeply loves her parents. I think that plays into why she doesn’t want Katara mothering her, because she has a wonderful mother at home who she loves and wants to better understand her, but she had no friends growing up and no older sister, which are the roles she needs and wants Katara to fill. If Toph wanted a mother figure, she would have latched onto Katara. Look at how Zuko never sought out another mother figure but did find a father figure in Iroh as he began to heal from his childhood trauma and separate his self image from his father’s acceptance.

Toph is in a complicated situation, she loves her parents but the way they’re raising her is hurting her in the long run. But Toph can see that their actions are because of their immense love for her. She can see how they would do anything for her. While she never had any examples of how other noble children were treated by their parents, who might have been distant or disinterested or always away for their social and work lives, she was remarkably loved by her parents. Her father put careful thought into her tutors and checked in on her progress. Her mother feared for Toph’s emotional state when she was kidnapped (even if she was incorrect about how Toph would respond), showing genuine empathy for her daughter.

I think their over protective nature became the love language Toph best understood them by, and part of her reasoning for not revealing how capable she was, was because she wanted to keep experiencing that love and care for as long as she could. But it’s not a love language she would put up with from anyone else.

I would like to point out Toph’s genuine excitement to see her mom again in the season finale of Book Two, how badly Toph wants her mom to understand and accept her for who she is.

My thoughts on what Toph can’t do: read, swim, see in the sand, fight things mid-air.

For how incredibly powerful the show makes Toph with her earth bending and the O&M she taught herself through it, they do touch on some of her weaknesses when they come up and find a useful way to showcase them.

The Serpent’s Pass was an excellent example of Toph’s vulnerability in water. From her fear of not being able to see on Katara’s ice bridge to not being able to swim and needing Suki to save her, Toph’s weaknesses putting her in danger added to the excitement and “sitting on the edge of your seat” feeling while watching the episode without turning her into someone who was helpless. She was just in a position where her normal defenses were useless.

Just like the earth benders in the metal prison in the ocean, or Katara having little water in the middle of a desert where her friends needed that water to survive more than she needed it to fight, making her vulnerable later in the show when the insect-wasp things attacked. Just like fire benders being weaker at night, or powerless during a solar eclipse, or a sighted person being lost in the dark. Those were just situations in which the tools you were accustomed to relying on could no longer help you or were taken away.

The show was clever in that it didn’t make her inability to read a direct threat to her safety, but rather as a clever plot device for her to be alone when the sand banders attacked and have to choose between fighting them to save Appa, or holding back an entire fricking building by the tiniest spire on its very top from falling into a void leading to the spirit world. It also showed her weakness to not being able to see or fight as well in sand. Which the show later made an effort to show how she’d improved on that problem in Book Three when she was surrounded by nothing but sand at Ember Island.

Like improving her ability to see in the sand, I would like to see a character teach Toph to swim, or at least float, so that she never feels helpless again. If she took the initiative to improve her sand bending so much, I’m sure she would have learn to swim eventually.

And on the note of reading, I’ve seen some speculation on how Toph could learn to read, whether it’s through using ink that has some percentage of earth mixed in, or developing the sensitivity to feel out the different weight, consistency, and texture of ink on paper.

I would like to bring your attention to Louis Braille, the blind Frenchman who invented Braille while studying at the Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles, the world’s very first school for the blind in Paris France (established 1785). Previously Louis was learning to read through a method in which each letter was pressed into the paper to leave an imprint that someone could feel out with just their fingers.

Louis Braille concluded that raised lettering was impractical because-

1. It is difficult to read, the letters had to be printed in huge font to be fully felt out and printed on thick paper.

2. Thick paper means higher quality, more expensive. Larger font means more paper is needed for a single text.

3. This made it inaccessible due to expense and the sheer volume of a text.

4. If today’s Braille books are hard to access and giant compared to traditional books, I can’t imagine how inaccessible those raised letter books really were.

The subject of Braille, the start and controversial near downfall to Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles were discussed in a post about writing a blind character during the Victorian Era.

I’ve heard others complain in the past about fantasy universes in which a sighted person invents a solution to allow the blind to read, when the most effective and longest lived method was invented by a blindman over two hundred years ago and is the standard taught in schools today.

And while I couldn’t easily explain it or how it works because I can neither read Braille nor speak Chinese, I can tell you that Chinese Braille exists and works only slightly differently from the Braille western languages use. So, again, modern AUs especially would benefit from enabling Toph to read Braille and use a computer and phone with screen reader.

But just as easily you could choose not to have her learn to read but rather have sighted people read things aloud to her. Whether it’s in a professional setting as an adult having an assistant who reads and writes for her, or as a cute, fluffy little moment between Toph and another character. Both are just as genuine to the blindness experience.

Blind Jokes

If you ever get around to reading my post about blind jokes, I’d like you to remember that it’s primarily written for people writing original characters and that Toph canonically makes blind jokes, so to take away from that would not be true to her character.

Does Toph’s Earth Sense Negate her Blindness?

It’s a question I’ve seen raised before and discussed by both abled, disabled, and blind people. There are multiple perspectives on it, but my own take on it is that Toph’s earth bending does not negate her blindness, but rather functions very much like the process of learning to use a cane.

She had a tool, a teacher, and she learned to use that tool. Instead of a cane, it was seismic perception and her teacher were blind badger-moles. She spent years learning to earth bend as they do and then continued to take it to new heights as she explored fighting with it on her terms against sighted fighters.

Come to think about it, I would love to see Toph teach another visually impaired or blind earth bender who to see and bend as she does.

Is Toph Good Blindness Representation?

This question was posed to me in the comments of my master post, and my answer was something like this: “Toph is good representation, but she can't be the only type of representation we get. She's the best we had 15 years ago, but there are a million ways to nuance the blindness experiences. Toph's experience being born blind, having very over protective parents, being a small girl in a patriarical and wealth influenced society, having no friends growing up. Those are all great aspects of blindness to show, but there is so much more to explore. As for her blindness and whether or not that's negated, that's also nuanced. She has limits, she's not all-powerful, but she is the best earth bender hands down. More or less, I love Toph, she's a great character, give me like a million more blind characters who are completely different from her.”

I want to see accurate and well-written blind characters become much more common in modern media, and that’s why I started this blog. So if you decide you want to write your own blind character from scratch, feel free to come back and look at some of my other stuff.

End Notes:

I want to thank the anon who sent the original question because it never occurred to me how much the atla fandom would benefit from a post like this.

You should follow my blog. Along with advice about writing blind characters, I write general writing advice and answer questions about writing, college, plot development, character analysis, and living with blindness. I curate writing advice from fellow writeblrs, write my own image descriptions for writing memes, post about mental health and working/living with ADHD, disabilities outside of blindness, and LGBTQA+ topics.

#avatar the last airbender #toph beifong #atla toph #atla #blind character #writing advice #writeblr #fanfiction

2K notes · View notes

c-is-for-circinate · 3 years

Text

As promised: let's talk Hades, and how acts of abuse can create toxic environments for everyone around them, and also how people react to those environments--and to them being disrupted.

(For reference, I have just kicked Theseus's ass for the first time, it was exactly as satisfying as it was intended to be, and then I got predictably slaughtered a couple of chambers into Styx. Spoilers for everything through that point, but please no spoilers in reblogs/comments for anything after that!) Also, TW for a whole lot of discussion of abuse, particularly verbal and emotional abuse, and abusive familyworkplace dynamics.

Okay, so. To start out with, Hades is an abusive parent. He engages in innumerable acts of verbal and emotional abuse towards his son, because yep, that's what you call it when a parent constantly berates and belittles their kid for every perceived failure, including the ones the parent themselves could have prevented. Sometimes especially the ones the parent could have prevented. Zagreus failed at his office clerk job because Hades refused to teach him how to do it and then blamed him for not already knowing how. Cerberus tore up the lounge because Hades, who was actually there, chose not to stop him. Hades created, possibly deliberately, and then took full advantage of every opportunity he saw to insult and demean his kid, and the clerk job flashback shows us that he was doing so even before the escape attempts started. I'm pretty sure we're all on the same page here, but: yep, that all constitutes abuse, even if they're gods. Even if Hades has reasons for Being Like That. Even if you think Zagreus seems okay and unharmed by it (which: repeatedly throwing yourself into a gauntlet of violence that inevitably ends in your own pain and death because you're so desperate to escape home, not actually an indicator of someone who's okay). We all good on that?

Cool. Because I'm not really here to talk about how Hades' abuse directly impacts Zagreus right now (although there's for sure an essay in that too). I'm thinking about how it impacts everybody else.

Hades isn't as obviously unreasonable with anybody else in his kingdom the way he is with his kid. When we see him lecture somebody else, it's usually for an actual failure to do their job: Hypnos for literally falling asleep on the job and not doing anything that was assigned to him, Megaera for letting us past her so many time, Orpheus for being a court bard who refuses to sing. His attitude is super confrontational and unpleasant, but on the surface it doesn't necessarily look as fucked-up. Thing is, though, whether any individual act of aggression towards an employee/family member is justified or not (I would generally argue 'not', because aggression towards employees/family members is, y'know, not justifiable)--it's not about the individual acts. It's about the entire cultivated atmosphere of toxicity and abuse.

One of the very first things Meg ever says to us is, "I'd rather be on your bad side than his." Up until that point, we've got no reason to believe Meg has any history whatsoever of fucking up at her job. In fact, we've got plenty of reason to believe she's good at it. She's fiercely proud of it, she's frequently Employee Of The [Time Period], and we've apparently never even met her sisters because she handles her shit herself. But she's still scared of Hades. Dusa, who is an anxious wreck at all times because oh god what if she gets fired what if she gets fired what if she gets fired, in spite of apparently being absolutely exemplary at her job, is scared of Hades. Every single shade in the Hall is clearly terrified of Hades, and it's not because of what he's done to each of them. It's what they've seen him do to other people.

Which is how toxic environments work, whether they're work environments or families. The Court of Hades is of course both, always, with the bonus hell layer of you can't quit even if you DIE. An abuser in authority doesn't have to target you in order to make you feel scared, cowed, and desperate to please them. Humans (and gods who are basically extra-powerful humans) are good at learning by example. The residents of the Court get the picture.

So this Court is a minefield--and everyone except Zagreus is very good at tiptoeing around mines. We see it in Meg, so desperate to do her job well. We see that Hypnos very clearly does not give a shit about anything, but he still makes sure to have a list of excuses ready if/when Hades ever confronts him about failure to do his job, just in case. We see it when Achilles tells us that my ability to help you is constrained by the authority your father gives me, or whatever the line was sixty runs ago when he couldn't let me into locked chambers. The system, such as it is, works, and if Nyx talks to Hades as little as possible, if Thanatos avoids the Court entirely, if Achilles treads very carefully and knows how to keep his head down--well that's just the system, right? That's just how things are.

Even Zagreus seems to have had a role in that system as the court fuckup. He's the kid who didn't have a real job or purpose. He could take the focus of Hades' generalized, day-to-day ire off of everyone else, without triggering some of the more direct and violent ire because the work he was doing didn't really matter (a LOT of Hades' rage-triggers seem to be related to job performance, which means that the people with real jobs are of course the most at risk). And he could do so "safely" (big emphasis on the quotation marks there) because he alone of the court is Hades' actual kid, who's Prince of the Underworld no matter how much he fucks up. If one of Nyx's other kids gets something really really wrong, she might be able to protect them from some consequences, but Hades doesn't have any layer of supposed parental affection holding him back from getting violently furious about it. Zagreus gets a nice bedroom and the abuse is limited to words rather than divine power, and Hades is a dick to everyone but he only occasionally condemns people to eternities of torture, and only for good reasons like refusing to sing when your job is to be court bard, so it's fine, everybody's fine, everything's totally fine, right?

Except it's not fine when everybody is so clearly worried about anything going wrong. And it's especially not fine for Zagreus, who's the person to finally say no. He's leaving, for his own sake, because he deserves better and he's finally convinced he can have it. And that turns the whole system into disarray.

I am endlessly fascinated by the ways this game portrays different characters reacting to this upheaval in their carefully-mapped minefield. It's different for authority figures and peers and servants, different based on how people are positioned in the house under Hades' rule, and it's so spot-on and I love it.

Nyx, for instance, is absolutely calm about the whole thing, because Nyx has power. Hades can't hurt her. Hades can't even really do much against her children, not when Hypnos and Thanatos are gods in their own right. Yes, Hades rules the kingdom, but Nyx owns the land, and she gives no shits about his rages. And it's interesting, too, to see the lines she doesn't draw. The deal seems to be that Hades doesn't fuck with her, and doesn't outright threaten her kids (because Hypnos is bad at his job, demonstrably so, and Hades hasn't ruined him yet), and she doesn't interfere with the way he treats the people around him. She gives Zagreus advice and support and the mirror, but she also doesn't take a direct stand against Hades. He can't hurt her, but he could make life...difficult. She's protected, her position in the minefield is more of a safe viewing platform than slogging through the middle of it, but the mines are still there.

And then we have Achilles, who is one of my favorite characters in the whole game because of how he reacts to this whole situation. Achilles, like Nyx, is so supportive. Every single time you see him he has something encouraging to say. He gives us his Codex, secretly finds us weapons, trained us for years, clearly wants us to succeed. And still he's limited, not necessarily out of fear for himself (though he has to be scared for himself, he knows what Hades does to people who anger him), but out of concern that if he gives Zagreus too much help in one way, he won't be able to provide help at all later. He's still so careful.

Achilles and Nyx are so fucking important to this story because they're the only authority figures Zagreus really has in his life except for his father, and they are so supportive. They're what keep this story from being a nightmare of psychological horror and depression. They can't stop the pressure from Hades and this life in his house being miserable for Zag, but they can give us hope, remind us that Zagreus is still loved. And they have such an incredibly important role when it comes to guilt, which is one of the biggest ways toxic systems maintain themselves.

If Zagreus leaves, what happens to everybody else? Who takes Hades' wrath then? Who becomes court scapegoat if he's not there, and also, who gets punished for his escape? These questions matter, and we see him worry about it! He asks Nyx and Achilles both, is it going to be okay that you're helping me, are you going to be alright, will my father hurt you for this? And they are both so firm about telling him no. No, I will be fine. See, here's the list of reasons about why I'm going to be fine, why my position in this minefield is secure. They make a point of telling us that it's fine, that we do not need to hold ourself back from getting out of this abusive situation for their sake. That is instrumental in Zagreus's ability to keep making these escape attempts without feeling too guilty and worried and selfish to go on. (Another thing that's actually really important in setting up that dynamic--we see that Hades cares about Cerberus, even if he's using him as a pawn against us, and Cerberus seems to be the one figure in court who Hades doesn't get mad at. The dog isn't at risk, and that is really essential in keeping the story from getting too grim.) These people who we care about refuse to let themselves be held hostage to secure our good behavior.

It's also really useful for raising the stakes later in the story--we see Hades arguing with Nyx once or twice, and we see Zagreus feeling guilty about it, but it's also a sign that we're making enough progress to piss him off. After I finally made it out of Elysium on my last run, I came home to find him furious with Achilles in a way that actually makes me nervous, because Achilles does not have nearly as much security in his position as he says he does. (Achilles is such a good teacher/authority figure, because he knows goddamn well what Hades could do to him, and still refuses to let fear for his own situation stop him from helping the abused kid under his care escape his. And no, not everybody has the capacity to do that, but it matters so much coming from the guy who helped raise us. It matters so much. I do not even have the words for how much.)

It's also no mistake that many of the people we find supporting us along our journey are either the people with the most power in their immediate environment, or the least. Sisyphus helps us because what more could they do to me than this? Orpheus is a little wild around the eyes and somewhat disconnected from reality, and he wishes us the best because someone should get what they want and also he no longer gives a single fuck what happens to him. Eurydice has her own cozy little corner of Asphodel, as safe from Hades' rage as anybody anywhere in his realm because she's tucked in such an out-of-the-way middle place she's outside his notice. Dusa is so scared of everything anyway that, crush aside, she isn't any more threatened by us escaping than she is just by her everyday life here. Charon is unfathomable and unstoppable; Skelly literally exists to be a punching bag, and yet he also seems basically immune to pain, no matter what we do to him. There's no threat from Hades there.

So the people most at risk when I flip the world on its ear are the ones who have so much standing that they have something to lose, but not enough to protect them from losing it. Which of course brings us to Than and Meg--who are, of course, the two people who also seem by far the most upset by my attempts to leave.

As authority figures, Nyx and Achilles are constantly reinforcing the message that it's Hades' fault, not ours, if they or anybody else get caught in the crossfire of his wrath. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and it's not my guilt to bear. From Megaera and Thanatos, we get the opposite message--I am fucking with things, I am hurting people, and I need to stop. Zagreus isn't just abandoning them, as a friend or brother or lover or all of the above they're Greek gods who even knows. He's betraying them. They were in this together, as friends or lovers or whatever, but now Zagreus is sending earthquakes through the minefield they both still have to stand in. He is about to capsize this boat in the middle of a thunderstorm, he is fucking with the system, and they're the ones who are going to get most hurt.

I'm so curious how this is going to work for Than, who out of everyone we meet holds the closest role to Nyx's in terms of being sheltered from Hades' wrath. He's the guy who gets to leave, after all, even though he always has to come back. I've seen the least of him out of anybody so far because it took forever for me to get to Elysium, but two things really stand out and I'm so interested to see where they go. One, he really genuinely does care about Zagreus. He wants us safe, he wants us unhurt, the accessory he gives us only grants its bonus if we clear a room without taking injury, he keeps showing up to help. And two, he wants us to give up and go back and recognize how good we had it. Which is SO fucking interesting, considering how miserable Zagreus so clearly was, and how legitimate his reasons for being miserable were.

It makes me wonder so much about Than's standards for comparison. Does he know something we don't about what's waiting for us on the surface, something that might theoretically hurt Zagreus even more than staying down below? Has his life, which apparently allows him more freedom than anybody else in the Court, sucked horribly in ways we haven't seen, and that's why he spends so little time there in the first place? Either of those things is plausible, both of those things are plausible, and yet either one leads to this sense of patronizing, because he refuses to simply tell us. If something terrible is awaiting us, don't give us vague warnings, tell us what it is and let us decide for ourself! If you're fucking jealous because we might get out entirely and you're still stuck coming back here, say so. If you're worried about your mom--and he does bring her up, how could Zagreus turn his back on her like that, does seem to worry for her--then let's have an actual conversation about how many times she has insisted I do this and also how much I love her.

And, right, it's clear that a lot of Thanatos being upset is simply, you were going to leave me without even saying goodbye, you want to leave ME, which is understandable! But, like, he is demonstrably the one god who gets to visit the surface. He's the one person we actually COULD expect to see again. And he is absolutely also upset because there's an Order To Things, and we're fucking it up. We used to be his careless callow reckless friend who could talk back to Hades and get away with it, and now we're not, and everything is changing and we might leave him altogether, and we might leave him alone in that court without us, and he hates it.

Is it a short-sighted, selfish fear on his part? Yes, absolutely. Even if he's not scared of Hades on his own behalf, he is still frightened by what happens if we upset this system--and maybe it's the sanctity of a much bigger system than the Underworld that he's worried about! Maybe it's the whole divine and cosmic order. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect is enabling the abuse Zagreus has been dealing with for however-long he's been alive. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect OUGHT to be overturned, or at least shaken up. But this is what toxic systems DO. They convince the people within them that they have to be maintained, that a broken system that hurts the people within it is far better than no system at all, that changing the world is too scary and too dangerous. And Thanatos wants his whatever-Zagreus-is-to-him to be there, because he loves him and also because that's how the world works, and those things are all tangled up in one another, and that is how relationships are in a messed-up family like this so therefore I love it.

And Meg. Meg, the best for last, my dear, beautiful, furious, bitter, scared angry tired girl. I adore her. I am absolutely never going to date her, because the thing Zagreus needs most in his life hurts her, more directly than anybody else in the story, and that sucks, and it's not Zag's fault but they still shouldn't be together. Meg has taken more injury from this situation than anyone, quite literally as well as metaphorically, and it's not her fault any more than it's ours, but oh boy it has made her lash out and it's awful and it's perfect.

Meg's place in the Court of Hades is unique because she's not dead, not a mortal, not anything other than a god--but she's also not family. Nyx is not her mother. She's very much part of this system, she and her two sisters belong to Hades-the-realm and therefore also Hades-the-king, she can't leave, but she also doesn't have that protection of Nyx watching out for her in the same way. She's not royalty. She and her sisters (if you ask Hesiod instead of Virgil, which seems to be the interpretation the game's going with here) sprang from the blood of maimed Uranus at the same time as Aphrodite, but fuck knows Aphrodite isn't claiming them as siblings. And she can't be fired, exactly, but she sure can be demoted, and she sure can be made miserable in her job. Meg is vulnerable in a way very few people in Hades' employ are. She's a lot harder to do away with than any one random shade, but she's also a lot harder to miss blending in with a crowd.

What's more, she's the one person in this whole mess who is specifically tasked with stopping us from leaving. Hypnos isn't ordered to put us to sleep and keep us in our room. Thanatos can't be compelled or punished if he doesn't hunt us down. Achilles isn't told to lock us up and keep the keys. Meg is the one stationed at the doorway to Tartarus to keep us in. Meg is the one who gets in trouble when we leave. Meg (who Hades knows goddamn well Zagreus cares for, or cared for, who he absolutely knows we used to date) is the one who has to fight us again and again and again. And she's the one who keeps dying.

Again, it's this incredibly fucked-up guilt/hostage situation deliberately designed to keep people from fleeing abusive situations. Meg's insistence on fighting us now puts Zagreus in the position of having to hurt her himself again and again. Now suddenly we're the ones sticking a sword in our ex-girlfriend. Now suddenly someone can point to our desire to leave, to flee, to escape, and say, how selfish. How cruel. How terrible of us to want to go, when we're even willing to hurt the people we love to do it.

Except, right: Hades is the one who demands Meg stand there and stop us. Hades is the one who puts both of us in that position. Meg is also in an abusive situation, and she's willing to hurt us to protect herself. "I'd rather be on your bad side than your father's." It's easy to blame her at the start for being complicit, for being a tool of our father's abuse, for being on his side. It gets harder as the game goes on. I've killed her so many times. There's no way for her to beat me. She knows at this point that she can't beat me. She still fights, every single time, still throws herself upon that spike, not because she thinks she has any chance of stopping me but because she is so damn scared of what will happen if she doesn't try.

In fact, Meg's the one person we have actually seen face consequences for our actions so far, instead of just facing the threat of them. Her sisters are here. Her sisters, who she clearly does not want here, who are wild and violent and who she does not want in her life or anywhere near her, let alone near the job she takes so much pride in. She gets to deal with them now. (Hades doesn't have to deal with them. They're still not allowed in his court. But Meg does.) She gets stabbed, and bludgeoned, and shot, and lightning-struck, and poisoned, and every other thing we do to her. Thanatos doesn't. Nyx and Achilles and Hypnos don't. Bug Meg? Oh yes. Meg pays.

And yes, ok, she is complicit in this system. Everybody is complicit in this system. Zagreus who's trying to escape on his own behalf instead of overthrowing his father for the sake of everyone he'd otherwise be leaving behind is complicit in this system. Pointing fingers and pulling strings of who's more at fault? and who do we blame for this? is exactly how this sort of system perpetuates itself. Your sister always talked back at the dinner table and put everyone in an even worse and more violent mood. Your coworker refuses to work more than forty hours a week so now you have to take overtime to pick up their slack. You're enabling your dad by asking your sister to shut up, you're enabling your employer by working as hard as you do so you don't get fired, everyone's at fault, everyone's to blame, everyone is--

It's not everyone. It's Hades. It's Hades at the root of everything, and probably something big and institutional and fucked-up even beyond him. But even if everyone down in this Underworld does have to be trapped here forever, even if he's trapped here forever, Hades is neither challenging the system that put them here nor trying to make that fate better for anyone else stuck with him. He's just created an entire kingdom of backbiting and misery and people who can either go along with his whims or suffer the consequences.

At this point in the game, Meg is so fucking tired. Every time we run into her in the lounge, hunched over a table, the venom in her voice when she tells us "Do I look like I have anything to say to you?" is so bitter and so exhausted. There was a system, and she knew her place in the system, and it was a system divinely ordered by the gods themselves, and sure it was cruel but that's the literal will of the universe as far as she knows it. She had a role, and her role was vengeance and punishment and violence against those who'd committed the most egregious of sins in life, and there was a point to it, she was the divine deterrent to convince people not to do those things, and that was just, and that was right. The GODS THEMSELVES said so. How do you argue with that? You can't possibly argue with that!

And Zagreus is arguing with that. In trying to leave, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that nothing in the Underworld ever gets to leave it. In disobeying his father to do so, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that what the gods say is LAW. He's breaking everything.

And of course he's not trying to do any of that. He's not trying to destabilize the system at all. He's just trying to get himself out of it, to a place where he feels like he belongs and maybe a parent who's slightly nicer to him than this one. But toxic systems like this one break when the people within them have access to another option. When the kids find a way to actually leave, and not answer the phone, and not come home for holidays, and not deal with it any more. When the employees have the economic freedom to quit. When opportunities granted by education, money, social support, etc etc etc, show up and give people a choice. Even if the option is only ever for Zagreus--he's demonstrating that an option exists. Which is, of course, the one thing the system cannot ever allow.

I really like this game.

#hades game #hades spoilers #C plays stuff #driveby meta attack

907 notes · View notes

ray-ray-writings · 3 years

Note

UMM THIS

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe24dvmM/

Im sorry I know you are packed and busy but can I make a request based on that video?? BECAUSE HOT DAM JUST WILBUR ENTERING LIKE

‘WHAT IS THIS I HEARD ABOUT HURTING Y/N AND TOMMY ‘

LOOK AT THAT VIDEO LOOK AT IT AND TELL ME YOU ARENT SIMPING TO THAT MAN

I simply cannot tell you that because it would be untrue because I am SIMPING so hard…. Also this was way longer and had a lot more plot than I originally planned so…. There’s that lol. Hope you enjoy. (P.S. Because it’s so long, this is going to be the only post tonight, my brain is a bit fried rn lol. Have a great night everyone!)

Warnings: Mentions of very quickly losing a lot of weight, it’s brief but it’s there. As well as, manipulation from Dream. At one point the reader is like “wow it’s been three days since you hit me… Thanks Dream!” And a few swear words here and there.

Before Wilbur died, you and Wilbur were married. It absolutely broke your heart to watch the love of your life lose his mind (and then his life) for the nation that you and he created to raise and protect your boys in. But you stood by his side until the very end. You held his hand as he died and clutched his body with Phil once it was over. Ghostbur gave you somewhat of a shock. Because you’re husband was back, and he remembered you. He was the man you had married. The person he was before the presidency, before the war, before L’Manberg… You’re Wilbur was back. But you were still sad. You couldn’t hug him or kiss him like you were able to and although he seemed to be right in front of you, it felt like he couldn’t be farther away. Ghostbur can see this and decides that if he can, he really wants to try to come back to life. He tells his father and older brother about this and so they begin planning and researching. In doing this, they kind of accidentally turn a blind eye to what is happening to you and Tommy.

While those three are figuring out how to bring Wilbur back from the dead, you and Tommy are being harassed by Dream. Something else you lost when you lost Wilbur was protection from Dream. For some reason, Dream was always afraid of Wilbur. Perhaps it was his ability to always stand up for what he wanted and fight for the things he loves… Or perhaps it was because he was Techno’s brother. Doesn’t matter. Point is when you lost Wilbur you lost the protection from Dream. Dream threatens you and Tommy, trying to provoke Tommy and trick him into doing stuff so that Dream could get him in trouble and one day it finally works. Dream tells Tommy where George’s vacation house is because he knows that Tommy cannot resist checking a place out and looking through other people’s stuff. So Tommy drags Ranboo over there and while they’re there they accidentally knock over a lantern and burn some of the house and some of the chests. On the other side of the server, Dream is in your home, poking fun at you for losing your husband and telling you that it was partially your fault and just stuff like that. You didn’t react. You never could when talking to Dream. But his words stung and slashed deep, and he knew it. Finally after a while of this, Tommy comes bursting through your front door, out of breath and seemingly panicked. “What’s the matter?” You ask softly, leaving your kitchen and going to comfort your boy. Tommy is about to spill everything but when he looks up he sees Dream and immediately swallows his words. “We were playing tag… That’s all… Tag” he says. You absolutely do not believe him but you catch his gaze and know that whatever he’s done he cannot say it in front of Dream. So you decide you’ll just have to wait…. You don’t have to wait long.

“You burnt down George’s vacation home?” Dream’s deadly tone sounds from the kitchen. Your eyes widen and scan Tommy’s face and the look that overtakes him, you know it’s true. “I did not burn it down… I knocked over a lantern and a small fire broke out… I tried to repair everything, it’s fine.” Tommy insists. But Dream seems too pissed to listen to reason. “Come with me” he hisses, marching forward and snatching Tommy’s wrist tightly and marching out of the house. A small whimper left Tommy’s lips as he was pulled causing you to fly into a rage. “Let go of him!” you demand, chasing after them. Dream doesn’t listen and so you reach out and shove his shoulder causing him to stumble, let go of Tommy’s wrist and whip around to face you too. A chilling smile rests on his face, “Oh you just messed up big time.” Before you can react, he reaches out, grabs your wrist, grabs Tommy’s again and continues on down the Prime Path. You’d try to fight it but the grip on your wrist was just too strong. Dream pulls you to Tubbo and immediately jumps on the boy. He explains what happened as well as says that you assaulted him and that he wants you two exiled from L’Manberg or there will be hell to pay. Dream tells Tubbo he will start a war and will kill everyone and everything if his orders are not followed. You can tell Tubbo really doesn’t want to, but it’s something he has to do. Tubbo lets out a small sigh and nod, “Okay Dream. You win.” He murmurs, not looking at Tommy’s betrayed face. “Excellent choice, Mr. President,” the man spits out. “Tubbo” Tommy utters broken heartedly, staring at his best friend, silently begging him to say sike… It never comes. “Dream please escort Tommy and Y/N out of my country.” “With pleasure” You wrist is seized again and you’re being dragged away from your home.

After you three get out of the SMP, Dream lets go of your wrists and lets you walk for yourself. You approach Tommy and wrap a comforting arm around him. “It’s going to be okay Tommy. Everything is going to be okay.” You comfort the young boy who sighs and nods, “I just can’t believe that he would throw me under the bus like that,” Tommy murmurs. “I know kiddo. I know.” You follow Dream for a very long time until he is satisfied that you are far enough away from the rest of the SMP. “Okay, we stop here… Put your stuff in this hole,” Dream commands, digging a small hole for the two of you to throw your stuff in. You let out a scoff and roll your eyes, “No way. You’ve already forced us into exile. There’s no way we’re giving you our stuff.” Dream’s face flushed a bright red before he lurched forward and grabbed you. Putting in a headlock to where you’re back was pressed against his chest, his arm around your throat while he has a crossbow to your head. “I’ve had enough of you fucking attitude Y/N. You have no power here. I do. I’m in charge and when I say to do something, you do it. If I ask you to jump, the only thing you may ask after that is “How high?” Do you understand?” You don’t speak, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of obedience. But then the tip of the arrow digs into the side of your head causing you to let out a small pained whimper, “I said, do you understand?” he demands again. “Yes” you finally whimper out. He moves the crossbow away from your skull and lets you go and shoves you forward, stumbling into Tommy who catches you and stabilizes you. “Put your stuff in the hole… Now” he growls, not in the mood for any more ‘games’. You and Tommy share a look and then a sigh and slowly put your things in the hole like he demanded. And you could only watch as he placed TNT above it and blew up everything. All of your items that you had worked hard for… Gone in a moment. Dream leaves with a cackle. You and Tommy are just there. Shocked. Finally, after a few moments, you’re able to shake yourself out of it. “Okay… Let’s get started, there’s no time to waste.” Tommy just looks at you and then he sighs and nods. “Let’s do it then.” The two of you spend the rest of the day gathering materials and building yourself a little shelter. You were all alone… At least you were all alone with your brother.

As we all know, Dream comes back almost every day. He comes back, blows up your stuff and leaves. The first time he came back you tried to stop him… It didn’t go well. “Dream, please he just-“ He cut off your words with a harsh slap across the face. It sends you flying and leaves your head spinning. “Haven’t you learned yet? Stuff. Hole. Now.” And you have no choice but to obey. You watch with a broken heart as Tommy slowly begins to actually trust Dream and believe him when he says that no one misses him. You do your best to be there for him and convince him that it’s not true but as days go by and no one, not even your Ghostbur, you can’t help but slowly believe that they’ve forgotten about you two. As time goes on, it seems that you and Tommy fade. You lose a lot of weight. Your food source is scarce and you have to do a lot of work because you’re restarting every. single. day. You get hurt a lot easier and it takes a lot more time to recover. Every once in a while, Dream will physically hurt you. Whether it a slap or a small sword slash, he does it just to make sure you still remember who’s in charge. You just learn to take it and deal with it. It hurts, but at least it’s you and not Tommy. Ranboo visits you once and is horrified at what he sees. He’s worried about you, but knows he can do basically nothing to help you. He makes a mental note to tell someone about it back in the SMP…. And even though he has memory problems, this is one thing he cannot forget.

On the other side of the SMP, Philza, Techno, and Ghostbur have done it. They’ve cracked it. They have figured out how to bring Ghostbur back to life and to bring back Wilbur. The three make the plan and tell no one, especially not you. (Yeah…. They don’t even realize that you and Tommy aren’t around rn lol) They want to make sure this works before they tell anyone. So they do all the prep and the work and then they perform the ritual. They perform it in a cave somewhere just a little bit away from Techno’s house so that absolutely no one would know where they are or what they were doing. They begin just as nightfalls. Carefully completely each step and making sure they’re doing everything just right, knowing if they fuck up one small thing it’s over and they won’t be able to get Wilbur back. The three complete the final step and wait…. Nothing happens. “Fuck!” Techno curses, his eyes falling to the book, “We did everything right! It should have worked!” “Techno calm down, we’re all upset but at least we-” Philza doesn’t get to finish. All of the sudden a bright light floods the room. The light? It’s coming from Ghostbur. “Uhh guys?” the ghost questions in fear as he is levitated off the ground. Philza and Techno cannot look at him for fear of going blind. Ghostbur is unsure of what is happening but then the shredding pain fills his body. A scream rips from his throat as his whole form begins to physicalize. The skin begins to become real as the bones, blood, organs, and all other internal body parts forms. All memories that Ghostbur had forgotten flood Wilbur’s mind as his whole life flashes before his eyes, reminding him of everything. It only lasts a few moments more before the light fades and Wilbur is dropped from the air. His body hits the ground with an extremely harsh thump. He feels the impact and lets out a groan. His whole body is sore… But he’s there. He’s real and most importantly he’s alive. “Wilbur?” Philza asks hesitantly. Wilbur lets out another groan. The two standing men share a look before rushing to his side. They kneel beside him and gently reach out. Don’t tell anyone but tears threaten to fall from both men’s eyes, Philza and Techno’s, as their hands actually are able to touch Wilbur and they don’t go through him as if he were a ghost. They gently help him from his side to laying on his back. At the movement, Wilbur opens his eyes and is met with the tear laced ones of two of his family members. “Hey guys” he manages to croak out, “how’s it going” “Wilbur” Philza breaks, a tear streaming down his cheek before he lurches forward and wraps the boy into a warm hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” the older man sobs to his son. “Shhhh,” Wilbur calms his father, “It’s okay Dadza. I wanted it. You did what you had to do. It’s okay.” To the two’s surprise’s Techno’s buff arms wrap around the two and join in the hug. “It’s uhhh… it’s good to see you Wilbur” Techno grumbles, not really liking the emotion that had built up in his chest. Wilbur let out a soft laugh, “Good to see you too Tech.”

The sweet moment is broken by someone calling Techno’s name a little ways away from the cave. At first, they elect to ignore it, but then the voice calls again, this time for Philza and they can tell now that whoever it is, is panicking. So the two help Wilbur up and gently help him out of the cave. They look out over the snow and find Ranboo there, standing on Techno’s front porch. “Ranboo!” Techno calls out causing the tall boy to turn around and then run at them. “Techno! Phil!.... Is that Wilbur? Like actual real Wilbur? He’s alive?” Ranboo asks, his tone still slightly panicked. “Yes Ranboo… It’s a long story but to sum it up we managed to bring Wilbur back to life… Now why are you here and why are you panicked.” Ranboo’s eyes shift back to Wilbur and gulps, “I knew you weren’t going to like this… But now you’re really not going to like this… Dream is hurting Y/N and Tommy…” All three, especially Wilbur, snap to attention at that. “What?” Wilbur asks harshly. Ranboo gulps and nods before diving into his story. He tells them about your exile and how Dream has been treating you two, blowing up your stuff and even physically harming Y/N. He tells them that Dream has the two convinced that nobody cares about them anymore. The three go stiff at that. Have they all been so focused they really missed all of this? Well time to go right some wrongs. It is almost as if all ache and tiredness left Wilbur’s body at the thought of his spouse being hurt, especially at the hands of Dream. He straightens up and takes a few steps toward Ranboo, “Take them to us” he speaks, his tone pretty damn dark. Ranboo nods and quickly turns around and leads the three men back to the exile spot.

Back in exile, you and Tommy built a house… Logsted! It wasn’t exactly your taste, but it made Tommy happy so you lived in it together. You had woken up, actually feeling kind of good. The bruises and nicks on your face had slowly begun to heal and Dream hadn’t hit you in the past three days. You had a nice dinner last night, you and Tommy had found some chickens and made a small chicken farm a little ways away from the house so that way Dream couldn’t easily find it, but point is you had chicken for dinner… that’s what I was getting at… I’ll move on. So long story short, you were feeling good. The sun had risen and so Tommy and you were just kind of waiting for Dream to show up so you could get the daily blowing up over with. And like clockwork, he shows up, but for some reason he’s angry. For the past couple days he’d actually be pleasant to be around, greeting you asking you how you’ve been. But today was different. He slammed the door open and begins digging a hole in the middle of Logstedshire… That’s really weird. He was going to blow up the stuff inside the house? No way. But he points to the hole and you know he wants you to dump your items in. You move to the hole but don’t throw your stuff in, “Inside the house? Can we please go outside, I don’t want to ruin our hard work” wrong thing to say. A growl escapes Dream’s lips as he reaches forward and slaps you hard across the face, harder than he’s ever slapped you. It is enough to make you dizzy, but you don’t even have time to recover because his hand is in your hair, yanking it back forcing you to look at him. “You stupid bitch. You would think that after all this time, you would have learned by now… I mean you were doing so so well. But it just seems that you never learn your lesson… Guess I’ll have to teach you yet again.” And he pulls out his sword and points it at your stomach, ready to slice you again. Just as he’s about to harm you, the door swings open again and someone stumbles in. They lean against the doorframe with their hand grabbing the top of the frame. You can hear Tommy let out a gasp and you watch Dream’s eyes widen in fear. “So Dream,” an all too familiar voice calls, “What’s this about hurting Y/N and Tommy now?” And then you’re let go by Dream. You crash to the ground, fall flat on your ass, but you manage to scramble to a stand as you stare at the door frame in complete... Shock? Amazement? Fear? You can’t tell. You’re husband, Wilbur, is standing there in the flesh. Literally in the flesh. He’s alive again and you cannot believe it. “Wilbur” Dream stutters out, “You’re alive? How-” “That doesn’t matter, Dream. What matters is the fact that you’ve been hurting Y/N and Tommy… We can’t have that. So now what is going to happen is I’m going to take my family back to L’Manberg and you are never going to hurt them again,” Wilbur announces, moving ever so slightly further into the room. Seeming to have recovered just a bit from shock, Dream actually retorts, “Or what?”. Two more people enter the house and it causes Dream to blanch even further. “I think you know what… now run along.” Not wanting to risk it, Dream takes off running.

Once you’re sure he’s gone, you allow yourself to speak. “Wilbur?” You whisper out, still not sure if this is real or if you’re dreaming. Wilbur’s attention shifts to you and he completely soften. “Hello,” he greets with a soft smile on his face, taking a few steps toward you, “Have you missed me?” Deciding you don’t care if he’s real or not, you rush forward and throw yourself into his arms. You, like Philza and Techno, almost cry at the feeling of your body’s connecting. He’s here. He’s real. And he’s alive. His arms wrap around you and hold you to him so tightly, you almost can’t breathe. But you don’t care. You’re hugging your husband. You’re actually hugging your husband. “I missed you so much, Wilby. I mean we had Ghostbur but it wasn’t the same. I missed you,” you mumble into his shoulders, the tears slowly falling out of your eyes. His hand comes up and slowly pets your head, in silent comfort and reassurance.

After a few minutes you pull away slightly, “How are you-” You’re cut off by his lips pressing against your and you cannot help but melt. It has been months since his passing and this was just the absolute best feeling in the world. You kiss back with so much passion it makes your head spin, this time in a good way. It’s also probably the only time ever his brother’s didn’t fake vomit at the sight of you kissing. You only pull back to catch a breath, but right as you breathe in, Wilbur’s lips are back on yours. The process repeats a few times, before you manage to breathe out a “Will,” causing him to pull back, but leaving his forehead resting on yours and his lips just hovering above yours. “Yes my love,” he mumbles to you. “Can we go home please” you ask, not wanting to be here at Logstedshire any longer. He gives you a warn grin, leaning the inch forward and kissing you once more before giving his answer. “Of course my love. Let’s get out of here.”

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt drabble #wilbur soot #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot drabble #philza #technoblade #tommyinnit #ranboo #dream #tubbo #ray responds #our beloved alex8o

397 notes · View notes

msgrubbly-plank · 2 years

Note

Hi! I found your post on authorial intent and characterization interesting and I have a question about your argument that it doesn’t betray James’s fundamental characteristics/isn’t a complete OOC decision.

When Harry confronts Sirius and Remus about SWM, Sirius tells him “James - whatever else he may have appeared to you, Harry - always hated the Dark Arts.” Sirius is defending James here, sure, but he’s also the person who knew James best and, importantly, chose him as an escape from his family who did strongly believe in that ideology. Speaking strictly in terms of characteristics rooted in canon, I find it hard to believe he would make this choice for someone who didn’t stand firmly opposite of his family in ideological beliefs.

I also think it can be argued as OOC for Lily from a canon standpoint, though we obviously have much less to go on with her. She defends Snape for years because he’s her childhood friend, but as soon as he gives her concrete proof of his prejudice, she’s out. He’s aware of this boundary at some level - he avoids revealing this prejudice in the early scenes of Prince’s Tale, despite nearly slipping up a few times. I struggle to imagine what she would find attractive about someone who publicly aligns themselves with a group dedicated to genocide against people like her.

I guess my question would be why would Jily be the relationship to explore these themes? Other ships have that dynamic by default and don’t necessitate rewriting both characters’ backgrounds to create it. This isn’t meant as an argument against ignoring OOC fanfic, or to discount your points; I find discussions on characterization interesting and wanted to offer a perspective on it from someone who does think it’s OOC and was wondering how you see that Sirius quote in relation to James’s character.

Thanks so much for this! You've really made me think and you've laid out some great points. I wrote a lot (way too much) so I divided it into sections for readability. This is very long so I recommend a beverage if you read it.

Disclaimer: I go into a little greater detail about this below, but my arguments cannot necessarily be applied to all DE! James fan fictions because they have him motivated by such different things. In the case of this write up, I specifically had the fan fiction story Bought by scriible in mind. It will be valuable to pay close attention to where I say "necessarily" in my arguments, because I agree that DE! James can absolutely be OOC in some fan fictions.

TL;DR

If canon James Potter lived the same life but joined the DE, it would be an OOC decision. If James Potter retains his characteristics but lives in a different world/lives a different life, his choice to join the DE is not necessarily OOC because the motivations behind the choice are "canon compliant" even if their outcome is different.

OOC

OOC is a character saying something or choosing to do something that is inconsistent with their personality. Within the constraints of a story, there are limits to what a character would reasonably or realistically do. The author has to lay a foundation of their backstory and history to establish these constraints. For example, although Narcissa Malfoy is portrayed as being sympathetic to the DE cause, she has always been shown as a devoted mother. Although her decision in the forest to save Harry goes against her political beliefs/ties, it is not an OOC decision because JKR established the intrinsic trait of her loving/protective of her son.

Arguments I Saw

My post was a response to the arguments I had seen about DE! James fics being OOC because he would never join the DE because he hated Dark Magic/DE.

Fundamental Characteristics vs Outcomes

The way I was differentiating it in my head was the fundamental characteristics of a person vs the outcomes/material conditions of their lives. The former would be the intrinsic traits of a person (bravery, intelligence, loyalty, ambition) and the latter would be things that contribute to who they are that are driven by their environment/life (House placement, fighting for the Order vs the DE etc). As we know from canon, your fundamental characteristics could "belong" in any Hogwarts House (Harry potentially being in Slytherin, Hermione could have been in Ravenclaw etc). Therefore, it is reasonable to say that James could have been sorted into Slytherin while still retaining his fundamental characteristics/being the "same" person.

(Obviously my argument of intrinsic characteristics is not a scientific one, because there's a discussion for how nature/nurture would play into someone's level of bravery, intelligence, loyalty, ambition, etc. However, I maintain that the internal traits to a person are different than the outcomes/results of their life.)

DE! James Stories

In this section I am only referring to the stories where he is authentically a DE. There are of course examples where he is a double agent.

In many of the DE! James stories he's sorted into Slytherin. That is the catalyst for divergence in his life and him joining the DE instead of the Order, rather than it being an illogical/OOC decision with no "supporting evidence" (illogical in the context of his AU life not morally).

We can assume his canon path is:James as he normally is/with all his intrinsic traits>sorted into Gryffindor>that shapes his perspective on DE/Dark Magic>joins the Order. In DE!James fics, it would be: James as he normally is/with all his intrinsic traits>sorted into Slytherin>that molds/shapes his perspective on DE/Dark Magic>joins DE.

If he follows his canon path, deciding to join the DE would be OOC. Because he retains his intrinsic characteristics but follows a different path, deciding to join the DE is a reasonable choice within the constraints of his character directed by different circumstances rather than OOC.

James and the Dark Arts

In my personal opinion, hating the Dark Arts is an outcome based on his environment, rather than an intrinsic characteristic of him. In the context of Harry Potter, it's basically a political opinion. He was molded to hate the Dark Arts by his family/house/material conditions of his life. His opinion of the Dark Arts (whether in canon or in fan fiction) is something he develops. If those conditions are changed, his opinion of the Dark Arts does too.

Arguing With Myself

I think one can reasonably argue that hating the Dark Arts, while not an intrinsic characteristic, is so fundamental to his character/personality that any story that portrays him as having a different relationship to it is OOC. I think that could be perfectly valid, but also think his fundamental traits are still what make him James rather than his life path. However- the former is more supported by HP themes/theses than the latter. Because HP is so focused on choices being more important than intrinsic abilities, James choosing to join the DE would be the defining aspect of his character rather than those traits he was "born" with.

However (again), what do we do with the stories where DE! James gets a redemption arc? He made the choice to join the DE, but then chooses to defect. Which choice is more in/out of character? Is there space for an in character James Potter to realize the error of his ways? He matures/grows past his bad decisions in canon. I think a DE! James that makes bad choices and then grows up to make better ones follows the same framework of canon, even if it happens at a different point in his lifestream/in a different fashion.

I maintain that most of the choices made by DE! James Potter can define his character in the same way as his canon self. In Bought, he chooses to join the DE to protect his loved ones and himself. He also choose to sacrifice his own safety for Lily at great physical detriment. The choice to join a group to protect his loved ones is the same choice he makes in canon, it is just the other group. Much like my argument about intrinsic characteristics being maintained in the context of different circumstances, if the motivations and choices made by DE! James are similar or the same to his canon self, he is not OOC even if the outcomes are different (Order vs DE).

Essentially, I view his choice as "do I put myself in danger to protect my friends or do I not protect my friends" rather than "do I join the Order or the DE". He still makes the same choice in the fanfics as in canon, the conditions of the choice are just different.

Ultimately- an OOC choice would mean that James was choosing something outside of the constraints established by the author. JKR has established James would do anything for his friends and be loyal and trusting to a fault, therefore James choosing the Death Eaters to protect his loved ones is still an in character decision because it is reasonable within the context of his AU life.

Sirius/James

In most (all?) of the fan fictions I have read, the Marauders are sorted into Slytherin with James. In these stories, James does not make the choice to take Sirius in because Sirius is not disowned. However, the sacrificing/loyal trait/choice is still present and just manifests itself through different decisions. If that trait/choice is still present, but the circumstances through which it surfaces are changed, he is not OOC but rather dealing with AU situations.

Lily/James

You're right that Lily is harder to argue for/against because we don't know much about her. Also- because there are so many different DE! James fics that have him doing different things/getting together with Lily in different ways, it's hard to speak for the trope as a whole. In some, they get together because Lily/James kill Voldemort and become the new Dark Lords. In others, Lily gets together with James for her own safety within the context of that world. It could be a totally valid reading to argue Lily deciding to be with DE! James is an OOC decision. I also think (if she retains the traits of her canon self) her being with DE! James is a response to different circumstances rather than an OOC choice. Because her surroundings/world are different, she retains her characteristics but makes different choices. We know canon Lily is willing to do the hard thing to survive (hides in Godric's Hollow with Harry/James, ) and her choosing to be with James for her safety at the expense of her personal values can be viewed as an in character choice motivated by the AU circumstances. Her choice is "do I do all I can to protect myself/those I love or not" and she still makes it in these fan fictions.

Why Jily?

I think my answer to your final question is going to be disappointing. Jily is being used to explore these themes because people like James and Lily as characters/archetypes and find it interesting to see them handle a new twist to their dynamic. The Draco/Hermione relationship explores this in many fan fictions so the trope's content is there, but I think some people just aren't into Draco/Hermione and want to see similar themes explored with their favorite characters. It's a similar motivation to why people write the Marvel characters attending Hogwarts.

Wrap Up

HP holds choices as a sacred value. Within the context of canon, James Potter joining the DE would be OOC because of the conditions of his life. In a fan fiction where the conditions of his life are altered, it is not necessarily an OOC decision to join the DE if his intrinsic characteristics are maintained and if he is still making that choice motivated by the same things as in canon, regardless of the outcome.

Ultimately- anyone is at liberty to decide DE! James is an OOC for them. I'm claiming if James retains his intrinsic characteristics that we know from canon and makes the same choices, even if they result in different outcomes, but follows a different life path/deals with different circumstances, he is not necessarily categorized as OOC.

I loved thinking through this one and writing up my thoughts. Thanks so much for the ask.

#jily #jily discourse #this one got out of hand

28 notes · View notes

maybank-starkey-obx · 4 years

Text

SHUT UP

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Synopsis: JJ isn’t someone you’re very fond of. You guys fight, bicker and are always on to each other about stupid things. But JJ’s had enough of your attitude and just wants to shut you up.

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) kinda filthy, kinky, choking, swearing, dirty talk, daddy kink! Some nasty stuff y’all!

A/N: sorry for any writing errors, not thoroughly edited lol! Enjoy.

“Heyo! The parties here!” You laugh as you walk onto the porch of the Chateau where everyone was.

“Hey!” The pouges all wave at you. “What took you so long?” John B asks.

“I had to help my mom,” you shrug and he nods.

“Beer?” Kie offers.

“Yes please!” You nod and she throws you one and you catch it easily. You notice the only available seat next to JJ. The only guy in your guys’ group that you somehow couldn’t stand, even with his good looks. He was such a douche bag.

“Maybank,” you mutter sitting down next to you.

“(Y/L/N),” he replies. “For a girl who claims she hates me so much, you really like being around me,” he smirks and you roll your eyes.

“Trust me JJ, I wouldn’t tolerate you if it weren’t for everyone else,” you scoff.

“Tolerate? Is that what you call it?” He asks. “Kind of sounds like constant bitching,” he adds.

“Well when you spent your whole day with a dumb-ass like you... you can’t blame me huh?” You state and he rolls his eyes.

“Why do you spend your whole day here then?” He asks.

“Because I’m so obsessed with you, I can’t get enough,” you mock. “I’m sure that’s what you want to hear.”

You and JJ did not get along. That’s all there was to it. He was a cocky asshole, you weren’t one to stand for bullshit, and you definitely weren’t another one of those girls flocking over his fuckboy act.

“Is it what I want to hear? Or is the truth (Y/N), you do manage to get mad at me daily, must be for some reason,” he smirks.

“Yeah, because I can’t stand you,” you nod. “And when you’re constantly going on about something stupid... soemone needs to shut you up.”

“Shut me up!?” He laughs like it was funny. “Sure (Y/N) I need to shut up,” he nods.

“Can you both shut up!?” Kie asks sounding annoyed and you glare at JJ.

“Seriously guys, just don’t talk to each other,” Pope adds. “You don’t have to fight then.”

“Tell (Y/N) to stop being so obsessed with me then,” JJ remarks and you laugh.

“You absolutely wish,” you say. “Not everyone likes you and your “charm” JJ. It’s unbecoming actually, and outright gross. Trust me, not obsessed with you,” you said. Classic JJ, thinking everyone loves him because he’s got this charm and these good looks. News flash buddy, there’s more to life than that.

“Can you guys stop, or leave my place!?” John B asks. “Because no one wants to hear it.”

“Fine,” you both huff rolling your eyes.

.........

You walk inside from the heat to grab ankther pack of beer for you guys. You walk to the fridge and grab it putting it on the counter. You were humming to a random tune in your head as you grab yourself some water.

You notice JJ wall in and head somewhere, but you just ignore his sauntering figure and head back out.

“Got the beers,” you remark placing them into the cooler, no ice left. “Why didn’t you guys tell me to bring ice!?” You ask.

“I yelled it, but I guess you didn’t hear,” Kie shrugs chilling on the hammock. You head back inside and as you do you bump shoulders with JJ.

“Watch where you’re going,” both of you say at the same time and then glare at each other. “That was your fault,” he tells you.

“How!?” You ask. “I was walking into the house like a normal person,” you say.

“You weren’t paying attention,” he replies.

“Neither were you dumb-ass,” you roll your eyes going over to the freezer.

“For soemone who throws the word ‘dumb-ass’ around a lot, you should really consider yourself as one,” he watches you as you pull the bag of ice from the freezer and you laugh.

“Good one,” you say sarcastically and he rolls his eyes.

“Why do you alway gotta be such a bitch (Y/N)?” He asks and you nod. Is that the only word a guy knows how to call a girl?

“It takes one to know one,” you reply and you notice his jaw click once. You hold the bag of ice and the coolness was nice against your skin. “You’re not some angel JJ, I think you need to realize that not everyone likes you,” you say and walk past him, but you feel him grab your arm and turn you around stepping closer to you. Too close.

“You really need to shut up,” he tells you and you lick your lips looking over his hard features and you grin.

“I’m not the only one,” you reply and turn around walking off again. You pour the ice into the cooler and add the beers to it while everyone relaxes in the North Carolina heat. Although, You can’t necessarily say relax in it.

“Where did JJ go!?” Pope asks looking around with squinted eyes.

“He was just inside,” you shrug. He was probably pissed at you, as usual.

“Probably rolling another joint,” Kie says and they nod in agreement. You look back at the house and no sign of JJ coming outside. Whatever. When was he not mad at you?

“Are we having a kickback tonight?” You ask leaning back in the chair.

“Yup, we got soemone bringing a keg for us, and I think people will be here soon enough,” John B shrugs and you nod.

You stand and Kie watches you. “Where are you going?” She asks.

“Bathroom, and I brought my bag so I think I’m gonna change,” you tell her and she nods. You head back inside and JJ wasn’t even in the kitchen. You shrug and head to the bathroom after grabbing your bag.

You were sweaty in your crop top and shorts so instead you put on your bikini top with your shorts so it was easier and breezier. When you step into the hall, you pretty much bump into JJ again and he gives you a severely annoyed look.

“Again!?” He growls and you roll your eyes.

“You can just keep walking,” you point out. “Not that hard.”

You notice his gaze over your chest and you almost push him away from you.

“Go!” You tell him and he looks at your face again and rolls his eyes. “It would be much appreciated if you didn’t look at my boobs,” you add and he shrugs.

“They’re, there for a reason,” he walks and you scoff.

“Yeah, for a perv like you to stare,” you nod. “Creep.”

You almost bump into his back when he stops walking and turns around.

“Just shut up,” he tells you. “Shut. Up.”

“Fuck you,” you say. “Don’t tell me what to do, and just walk,” you nudge him and he grabs your wrist pulling it off of him but keeping his hand tightly wrapped around it.

“I would suggest you shut the fuck up (Y/N) before I make you,” he retorts and your eyes widen slightly at the comment, but you swallow that slight arousal away and glare.

“Make me!? Oh really!?” You challenge. “What would you do JJ!?” You ask. “Big strong man huh? How about you shut up!?”

He nods slightly like he was thinking about something, your wrist still in his hand. “You’re gonna regret the way you’re talking to me (Y/N),” he leans in closer and you could feel his breath on you.

“I’m so scared,” you say sarcastically and with that you were pushed up against the hallway wall and you had his lips on yours in a very shocking manner. Shocking, yet strangely hot manner actually. Something about the aggression made this hot, and it pissed you off because it was JJ.

“You know,” he pulls back slightly moving his lips down your neck roughly, sucking and making hickeys. “I’ve let you get away with a lot,” he says licking your neck and you let out a slight sigh when he kisses your sweet spot. “I think enough is enough,” he nods gripping your hips with his hands, his fingertips digging into the bone.

“It’s time for you to shut up (Y/N),” he looks at you with dark eyes, his usually bright blue eyes were so dark you wouldn’t even think they were blue. You lean in kissing him again and he pulls you along with him to the spare room, well basically JJ’s room in John B’s house because he was here all the time.

He pushes you onto the bed and quickly hovers over top of you. He looked so good with his messy hair and sweat dripping down his body. He sucks on your neck and quickly grinds himself into you making you moan. He swallows the moan with a kiss. You push him down onto the bed and get on top of him and he watched with wide lustful eyes. You lean down kissing his neck, and sucking at it, and then slowly rocking your hips to create more friction. You could feel his hair boner through his shorts and it makes you smirk while kissing his hot skin on his neck.

“Hey, hey.... I’m in control here,” he stops your movement by grabbing your hips and you sit up pushing your hair back.

“Really? Cause right now.... I’m on top,” you remark with a smirk and he lips his lips before talking again.

“Oh baby... that doesn’t make you in control,” he shakes his head the way baby fell off his tongue just made you hornier. “I’ve had enough of your back talk,” he flips, so you’re back under him. “So it’s time for you to listen to me,” he kisses the top of your chest. “Got it.”

“Listen to you?” You say like it was foreign. You had too much pride to actually listen to JJ. He may be a second god and hot as hell.... but you knew to always be headstrong with him around.

“Yeah,” he says. “You’re gonna be a good girl... and listen,” he reaches his hand up and slowly wraps it around your neck and you bite your lip. Choking was one of your biggest kinks and JJ was doing it. “Do you got it (Y/N)?” He asks slowly grinding himself into you again and you let out a moan.

You don’t want to give into him, although it was hot. It was JJ, you didn’t want him to hold this against you forever.

“Tell me,” he slightly squeezes and the feeling was euphoric coming from JJ’s big hands. You nod. “I didn’t hear you,” he smirks, his dimples are now prominent making him look hotter if that was possible.

“JJ,” you roll your eyes.

“You either agree with me! Or you’re gonna get it the hard way!” He tells you and you smirk.

“What if I like it the hard way,” you say and his eyes widen slightly and you could feel his boner grow more.

“Trust me baby... your gonna want to listen,” he tells you his voice husky and it made you want to be obedient towards him. You just hated the fact that it was JJ having this effect over you. “Now tell me you got it....” he says licking his lips and you sigh.

“Fine,” you mumble.

“Fine what!?” He questions and now he was jsut being annoying.

“I’ll listen,” you say merely in a whisper and he smirks.

“That’s what I thought,” he nods pulling back running his hand down to your bikini covered breast and he pulls the bikini down to expose your boobs. He runs his thumb over your left nipple making you let out a sigh. He leans down kissing between them and then moving his lips to the right, causing soem hickeys to appear. Then you feel his lips latch onto your nipple and you let out a small moan and he licks and sucks on one, while rubbing and pinching the other.

“You like that,” he mumbles swiping his tongue across your nipple before smacking it lightly. “Barely did anything and already have you moaning (Y/N),” he shakes his head. “Not complaining now are we?” He looks at you with a smirk.

“Shut up,” you tell him and he chuckles.

“You’re not gonna want to talk unless I tell you to...” he says rubbing his hands down to your hips and he unbuckles your shorts and throws them somewhere. “You’re gonna be a good girl for daddy,” he gives you a look and the word daddy coming from him... was fucking hot. He moves one hand between your legs and slowly rubs you over your panties and he bites his lip. “Mmm... so wet for me already,” he adds some pressure to your clothed clit and you bite your lip sighing. “For someone who talks a lot of shit... you sure do seem to need me,” he chuckles in a condescending way.

“I don’t need you,” you remark through a moan and he nods.

“Oh we’ll see about that (Y/N),” he pushes your panties to the side and without wanting slams 2 fingers deep inside you, and you let out a loud moan. “I told you, no talking unless I say so,” he starts moving in and out of you in a fast pace. He rubs your clit with his thumb and you felt your legs shake.

“Fuck...” you moan out as he curls his fingers, hitting your g-spot.

“I thought I was clear on having you shut up, unless told otherwise,” he ands his fingers and you moan. “Don’t make this hard on yourself (Y/N),” he says rubbing your clog as he moves his fingers at a fast pace. You were coming close to going over the edge.

“JJ,” you moan.

“Not my name,” he shakes his head.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whine out as he keeps going in and out with his fingers hard.

“You gotta beg for it baby,” he says. “If you don’t... I won’t let you.”

“Fuck JJ... come on,” you groan.

“That’s not my name!” He growls stopping his fingers. “You’re not fucking listening to me... and you wonder why I get so annoyed of you!” He says and the anger just turned you on more.

“Sorry daddy,” you say and he was a little surprised by that. He slowly starts moving his fingers again.

“There you go,” he smirks. “Now... come on, beg to come,” he says and you look down at him and he pushes your legs wider open and then slowly dips his head and keeps moving his fingers. He licks once and you moan, then he latched his lips around your bundle of nerves and starts sucking as he slams his fingers into you, having you almost screaming now.

“Please... I need to cum!” You moan biting your lip. You reach once hand down into his hair and she groans against you. “Please daddy... let me cum,” you moan and you could feel the smile on his lips.

“You can do better than that baby,” he licks once more his fingers moving hard and you moan.

“I need to cum... please let me cum,” you say breathlessly. “Please daddy... I’m begging,” you breathe out and he looks up at you and you pout at him and he sighs.

“Cum,” is all he says moving his lips back onto your core as he keeps his fingers inside of you. You moan and he sucks your clit, and has you over the edge in seconds.

“Fuck...” you sigh. And he slowly moves his fingers and licks you clean.

“Mmm, you taste so good,” he says kissing your inner thigh. Your legs now shaking from how hard he just made you cum. But to make it better, he reach out and grab his hand and he watches you. You bring his fingers up to your lips and slip them into your mouth, with your eyes on him and he licks his lips with wide eyes as you swirl your tongue around his fingers resting yourself. He smirks.

“Get up,” he moves his fingers and you do as your told. He starts unbuckling his shorts and then drops them along with his boxers and your eyes widen at his member that was... way bigger than you thought. “Like what you see?” He smirks. “Get on your knees,” he demands and the stern voice just immediately turned you on again and you got on your knees in front of him.

“Now suck daddy’s cock like a good girl,” he looks down at you and you immediately grab his large cock in his hands and stroke it once before spitting on it. You stroke the spit along his cock and he sighs as you wrap your lips around the tip of his cock. You swirl your tongue around the tip, licking the pre-cum off the tip. You slowly move your head lower on his cock, relaxing your throat to fit in as much as you could. But with that, he gripped your hair and shoved your head down onto his cock making you gag against it as you hit the base and he grunts.

“Take it all babygirl,” he tells you and starts thrusting into your mouth as you choke on his cock. You like a challenge, so you take it even though your eyes water and you were gagging and choking on it. “Look at me,” he tells you and you look up at him through your eyelashes and he sighs thrusting into you. You start bobbing your head and you could feel his dick twitch in your mouth. “You’re so good at taking my cock,” he groans and pulls out of your throat, strings of saliva between you guys and dropping down your chin.

“Get on the bed,” he tells you and you do, but when you do, he just flips you over on all fours and grabs your hips pulling your ass out. “Look at that ass,” he smacks it, and that just makes you moan. You arch your back holding yourself up with your elbows. “You ready to take daddy’s cock?” He asks.

“Yes,” you breathe out and he rubs his tip between your folds.

“You still so wet,” he tells you. “Who would’ve thought that a “dumb-ass” like me could get your pussy dripping huh?” You could heat the smirk on his lips. “That’s what you call me right!?” He asks rubbing his dick on you and you moan lightly. “Right!?” He asks again.

“Yes,” you roll your eyes. “I’m not wrong to either.”

“Really!?” He laughs. “Can a dumb-ass fuck you ss good as I can!?” He asks and then slams his cock into you making you moan loud and he puts a hand over your mouth. “You gotta be quiet, you don’t want them knowing that your getting fucked by me here,” he says in a low voice. He starts moving and you moan into his hand.

“Damn (Y/N), you’re tight,” he grunts and you clench around him making him sigh. “So tight and wet,” he thrusts and you sigh. “All for me...” he groans. “How ironic right,” he moves his hand grabbing your hair and pulling you back. “Tell me... (Y/N)... how good does my cock feel inside you!?” He whispers in your ear and you moan.

“It feels good,” you sigh.

“How good!?”

“So good,” you moan. “Your cock feels so good daddy,” you say and he grunts thrusting into you fast.

“Yeah, I used to be dumb-ass and now I’m Daddy right!” He grunts pushing himself into you and you moan leaning your head back and he moves his hand from your hair to your neck.

“Yeah daddy,” you moan.

“This will teach you not to be such a bitch me to,” he says fucking you relentlessly and you moan. “Just remember, next time you say something... think about how good daddy fucked you, and how good he can fuck you again if you ask,” he says into your ear and you moan in response.

“It’s so much better hearing your moan instead of bitch around,” he groans. “With your pussy wrapped around my cock instead of you talking back to me,” he adds and it just makes you clench around him.

“I’m close,” you moan.

“Beg for it,” he tells you. “Beg for it like the slut you are,” he adds and you groan.

“Please daddy,” you moan. “I wanna cum all over your cock,” you tell him.

“Yeah, and are you gonna keep acting up!?” He thrusts hard. “Are you!?” He slightly squeezes your neck and you moan.

“No?” You shake your head.

“Don’t need me huh!?” He laughs sarcastically. “You need me to let you cum don’t you!?” He asks.

“Fuck you,” you say annoyed of him, he was still a dick. Just one that knew how to make you feel so good.

“Oh really!?” He pushes you down and smacks your ass. “You sure you want to say that to me (Y/N)!?” He asks smacking your ass again while thrusting into you and you moan.

“JJ... please I need to cum,” you whine.

“It’s not JJ,” he growls. “And you gotta beg, beg for it because it’s the least your big mouth could do,” he says and you could feel he was getting close by how his dick twitched inside of you.

“Please daddy,” you whimper.

“Fuck me huh!? It’s what you’re doing right now,” he groans gripping your hips surely making marks in your skin.

“Daddy,” you moan. “Please, I’m begging.”

“Not yet slut,” he says. “You’re gonna talk to me like that? While I fuck you, you’re gonna fucking wait to cum,” he grunts and you sigh.

“Please,” you beg and he keeps going not answering you. You were so close, and you doubted it would be good to disobey him. “At least a low down,” you moan. “I can’t... I’m gonna cum.”

“Don’t cum!” He groans. “I told you no,” he says thrusting in harder.

“Daddy...” you sigh. “Slow down... I can’t,” you moan.

“Slow down!?” He laughs speeding it up, the sound of skin smacking was loud. You clench around him and he groans.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “Your pussy... is so tight,” he groans deep inside you.

“Daddy, please let me cum,” you moan. “I can’t take it, I need to cum,” you say.

“What else do you need!?” He asks and he thrusts into you, your arms giving out, and your legs shaking.

“I need you,” you say giving into him. “I need you daddy, I need you to let me cum, please?” You say and he thrusts more and more.

“Oh fuck,” he breathes out smacking your ass again. “Cum on daddy’s cock,” he tells you and you clench around him and he groans. “Fuck, good girl,” he tells you and you go over the edge as he still thrusts, it gets sloppier as he gets close. Your juices soaking him. You press your ass back against him and he groans and you felt him release himself inside of you.

“Fuck (Y/N),” he groans slowly thrusting and coming to a stop. “I just filled you up,” he chuckles his arrogant chuckle. He pulls himself out and your legs were shaking. “Look at you,” he says. “Good girl,” he runs 2 fingers between your folds and then slips them inside of you making you whimper.

“JJ... I cant,” you moan and he moves hind fingers in and out of you. He pulls his fingers out and puts them in front of your mouth.

“Suck them,” he demands and you open your mouth and he shoved them deep into your mouth and you suck them. He soon drops next to you and you turn over both of you breathless. “Fuck.”

“Fuck,” you say also.

“Still hate me!?” He turns to you with a grin.

“I still think you’re an asshole,” you nod and he laughs. “An asshole with a goof dick,” you mutter sitting up.

“Yeah, clearly,” he nods and you roll your eyes.

“We have to go before they start wondering,” you stand grabbing your clothes.

“Yeah,” he nods and something in his voice sounded weird. You go to the bathroom cleaning yourself up and changing back into your clothes. You fix your hair in the mirror and you looked flushed you cheeks red, so you pat your face with soem water and leave the bathroom.

You see JJ, in the hall as you come out of the bathroom and he looks at you as you start to walk.

“Wait (Y/N),” he stops you, grabbing your wrist and you turn around confused.

“What!?” You ask.

“Are we just going back to... hating each other!?” He looks down at the floor and you were slightly confused.

Yeah, what you and JJ just did was amazing, and... he gorgeous and all. But what else would this be!? He thought you were an annoying bitch and you thought he was a douchebag. We were both right.

“Um...” you drift.

“Look, it’s fine if you want to,” he mutters. “I just...” he drifts snd shakes his head.

“What!?” You ask.

“I kind of like you,” he looks at you with his blue eyes. “I mean, I have for a bit. I just assumed since you... hate me,” he mumbles and you were shocked by the statement to say the least. “Just telling you that, it’s fine. You don’t have to feel the same way.”

“I don’t hate you,” you tell him and he nods.

“Just don’t like me, I get it,” he says and you roll your eyes.

“Maybe if you took me out on a date, I could actually get to know the other side to you,” you remark and he looks at you shocked.

“Really!?” He asks and you nod. “You’d want to go on a date with me!?” He grins.

“It’s what I just said dumb-ass,” you joke and he laughs.

“Well, then go out with me!?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you nod. “Sure, just text me the details,” you grin.

“Okay, cool,” you’ve never seen JJ this way. Like a happy little kid, it was cute. He wasn’t so cocky, and arrogant. You then lean up on your tippy toes and place a kiss on his lips and he pulls you closer deepening it. It’s been an eventful day... I guess.

**********************

A/N

Kinda graphic lol! Hope you guys enjoyed it. Open for requests and all!

3K notes · View notes

blu-joons · 3 years

Text

DATING BTOB HEADCANON A⇴Z ⇴ Lee Minhyuk

A ⇴ AFFECTION

In anything that he did towards you, Minhyuk was always incredibly romantic, he would never be affectionate with you for no reason, there would always be a reason behind it, usually to remind you that he loved you.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

The two of you met at the gym one afternoon when you worked side by side on the treadmills. You could feel his eyes staring at you as you ran, and eventually you had enough, turning to face him with the machine on pause, keen to know what had caught his eye and why he was so focussed on you instead of himself.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

He wasn’t afraid of showing off in front of you, and his confession certainly emphasised that about him. Minhyuk ended up confessing to you at the end of a date that he had arranged for the two of you, confident that the sporting prowess and the romance he’d shown you would be enough, he decided to pull you back as you went to walk up to your door and let you know exactly how he felt about you.

D ⇴ DATES

Every date with Minhyuk somehow ended up turning into a competition, he just couldn’t help himself, and if you were honest, neither could you. Minhyuk loved doing physical, he’d snap up the chance to show you how athletic he was and how strong he was too. If you wanted to relax a little more, he’d strongly suggest the beach or the park, anywhere that presented him with the chance to take his shirt off and be able to flex his muscles at you throughout the day, making sure that you were impressed by his physique.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

He’d found himself in a small bit of controversy before when it came to his relationships, and so Minhyuk wanted to make sure that he kept himself, and you safe, this time around. Although everything was in the past, the backlash he faced still often played in the back of his mind, especially when the two of you were out in public. It was something he’d keep to himself too, not wanting to worry you or risk you getting nervous to be out in public with him when he was already a recognisable face.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

For the most part, Minhyuk loved to joke around, but a small part of him was serious too, and very hard working. When things got stressful and work became too much, you unfortunately tended to be the one that he’d take it out on. You’d sit and let him offload, trusting that most of what he said was nothing he truly meant. Once he’d taken the time to calm down and realise exactly what he’d said, Minhyuk would always be quick to apologise, determined to put things right and make sure you forgave him too.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

He loved to show you off to his family, he could never hype you up enough, which drove them up the wall. Even if you were sat right beside him, he’d still usually answer a question on your behalf, knowing how humble you’d try to be rather than really showing off to all of them just how talented you were.

H ⇴ HOME

Having your company was a big deal to Minhyuk, whilst he didn’t want to dive straight in and move you into his place, it also wouldn’t be too far into your relationship before he began to suggest that you should be a permanent resident of his household. A small part of him had always been lost when he lost Hamo, but having you around changed things.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Minhyuk was the first one to say those three magical words at the end of one of your dates together. It almost felt like a rerun of his initial confession to you, only this time around Minhyuk was able to end the evening with a kiss, something he would have been far too scared of when he initially told you how he felt.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

Whenever he finds himself feeling jealous, the jokes come to an end and serious Minhyuk comes out to play. He’ll stare more than anything else, silently letting whoever the problem is know that he’s around and that you’re very much not available to receive anyone’s attention aside from his. You’ll feel his presence stand a little bit closer to you when he’s jealous so he can keep a closer eye on things, without being too obvious about his feelings. Even though you’d always be able to tell every time what was going on.

K ⇴ KIDS

Having a family was a big deal for Minhyuk, and after discharge, something he thought a lot more about too. Whilst he didn’t want to rush you into making a decision so big, he also wasn’t afraid to see how you felt about having kids and where you saw it in your future. It’s definitely something he wants to happen, especially so when you came into his life, seeing no other option as far as his future was concerned.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Charisma is something that Minhyuk has in buckets, and so he’ll definitely use that to his advantage when he’s trying to make you smile. He loves to show off, but he knows that it’s a charming side of him that you adore. He works hard to make sure that you’re always happy around him, as your boyfriend he very much feels like its his duty to keep you smiling and give you a reason to try and be positive, even when you’re feeling low. Charm comes easy to Minhyuk, and so it doesn’t take much from him before him being his usual self ends up bringing a smile to your face and a laugh escaping from you.

M ⇴ MISSING

Being on the road is when he tries his hardest to show how strong he is, he refuses to really let anyone in and try and cope with the mixture of feelings he’s experiencing all to himself. It’s hard on him to not have you around, the two of you were always a team, and so to have his teammate no longer there was tough. Of course, the other members would rally around him, especially Eunkwang who would often try and do some sort of impression of you to try and bring a smile to his face, but it would never be enough to having you in person with him, instead he’d just have to wait until he could get home.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

You loved to always tease him ‘minnie,’ as it was the one nickname for Minhyuk that would always ensure that you got your way. He hated to hear it, and so would give you what you wanted the second he heard it from you.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

He’s obsessed with your figure, he loves how it feels whenever he hugs you and how well you carry yourself, with or without him by your side.

P ⇴ PDA

Affection in public was often kept to a minimum, there was a time and place for Minhyuk to spoil you with affection, and out in public wasn’t it. Instead, he’d prioritise protecting you, secretly enjoying the fact that he can show off to you again how strong he is by keeping his arms firmly at your waist.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

He was incredibly competitive and loved to tease you when it came to something physical. The term fighting talk definitely springs to mind with Minhyuk, often questioning whether you really thought you were a match for him.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Minhyuk loved to cook, and you loved to taste the delicious meals that he made, and so Minhyuk found the perfect answer to it all, creating a recipe book filled with the recipes you loved for him to make. When date night came around, the book was his go to in order to make sure he found the perfect meal that he knew you would enjoy, which would be the perfect starter for the rest of your night together.

S ⇴ SEX

Every single time with Minhyuk is romantic, without a shadow of a doubt. Many might have him down for someone who enjoys a quick bit of fun, but he’s actually someone who takes a lot of time to look after you and pay close attention to the things that you want for him. As with most things, he’s a complete romantic, he can’t help but be soft around you and make each time with you an incredible love affair.

T ⇴ TEXTS

Whenever he was feeling lonely, Minhyuk would naturally pick up his phone and start texting you. It was always you that came to mind when he wanted someone to talk to, he just hoped that you’d be able to reply.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

Knowing that you were always there for him was the biggest relief as far as Minhyuk was concerned. Sometimes his lifestyle was a little bit lonely, but knowing your company was always open to him meant the absolute world.

V ⇴ VACATION

When Minhyuk said anywhere in the world with you, he well and truly meant it. Anywhere was an adventure as long as the two of you made it one, and there were so many places around the world that the two of you wanted to explore. Someone, you managed to limit it to just one, at least for now anyway.

W ⇴ WHINING

If he wanted to show off to you, then he’d definitely let you know about it, whining until you finally paid attention to what he had to show.

X ⇴ XXXXX

Every kiss that you received from Minhyuk was always filled with affection and romance. He wasn’t one to waste a kiss or a moment with you, a true romantic at heart, he’d make sure each one meant something. Of course, with that, he would usually kiss against your lips, if he felt like it, he’d love to tease you, but most of the time he would keep things simple and make sure his kiss translated how much he loved you.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his teammate, the two of you just did everything together.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

There was nothing Minhyuk loved more when he fell asleep than being able to feel you pulled tightly against his chest, being able to wrap his arms around you and whisper gently into your ear as you fell asleep beside him.

---

Masterlist

189 notes · View notes

teawaffles · 3 years

Text

Forbidden Games: Chapter 7

One day, three assassins had gathered for a gunfight.

The three of them had varying levels of skill with a gun. The first assassin had perfect aim. The second could land two shots in three. The last was only able to land one shot in three.

They were to take turns choosing one of the other two to shoot at. In order to compensate for their differences in skill level, they would start from the most inexperienced assassin, who could only land one shot in three.

Now if you were this person, what would you consider the most reasonable thing to do?

The right answer is—— to fire straight into the air, without aiming at either opponent.

Ordinarily, one would think to target the most dangerous assassin, who could land every shot. But if they were struck down, then on the next turn, you would find yourself in the sights of the remaining opponent, who could land two shots in three.

As such, if you were to avoid shooting either party, the next player would definitely target the most dangerous opponent. If they succeed, the subsequent turn would cycle back to you. Hence the best course of action is to shoot no one at the start.

An action that seems meaningless at first glance, may in truth be the most logical choice.

This was a paradox —— the gap between logic and intuition.

“While there are some slight differences, our game bears a striking resemblance to this story, which is why I chose to apply it today. Although, I admit I may have been a bit too dramatic when aiming the gun at myself.”

A contradiction for a contradiction. Saying that, a small smile rose on William’s face. It was the smile of a demon.

For a moment, the extent to which he’d misjudged William had made Alan break out in a cold sweat. But he quickly regained his composure.

“I get it — you’re smart enough to know what you’re doing. But now, what will you do? The chance that your gun will fire in this turn is two-in-five. As for me, with one bullet fired and two left, my chances are the same. We’re even now.”

“But that’s not true. I believe you know very well that on your next turn, your gun will fire,” William asserted.

“……What?”

William brushed his thumb over the revolver in his hand.

“It appears that the guns we were given have been rigged, such that the cylinders will stop at predetermined positions when they are spun. These positions have been marked with scratches. In other words, this game has been a lie from the very beginning.”

William looked at Alan, who was in a daze, as he continued.

“That’s why you were able to add two more bullets to your gun with no hesitation whatsoever. You knew that even if Mr Holmes were to face off with five rounds, the gun would never fire.”

He then struck his index finger against the table.

Alan had been thoroughly shocked when the secret behind the guns was revealed. But now, he retaliated in full force.

“That’s right. These guns are for cheats. Why wouldn’t I use them in this game? Counting from the chamber where the cylinder stops, my revolver has three consecutive chambers loaded. But only the last two chambers of your gun are filled. ——Do you get it? This means your gun will not fire this turn, and on my turn, mine will definitely fire. The game has already been decided.”

“I’ll throw that question back to you. Do you understand what it means for us to know about this trick?”

Somewhat stunned by his opponent’s lack of awareness, William proceeded to explain the situation with eloquence.

“In our previous match, I said something to Mr Holmes. ‘Allow me to advance a proposition. Two chambers— don’t fill them.’”

There was another meaning behind those awkward words. “What it meant was, ‘Advance by two chambers’. After that, Mr Holmes violently loaded the gun —— so much so, that he had scratched the cylinder too.”

Alan covered his mouth with his hand as he looked at his own gun.

“……No way—”

“Because the two of us were given new revolvers, and you chose to use the gun from our previous match, you are now holding a revolver with two chambers’ worth of scratch marks added. Although the previous scratches remained…… since it was Mr Holmes who made them, I trust that the new markings were able to fool your accomplices.”

With no need for any further explanation, William fell silent.

In a game of Russian roulette where the number of rounds loaded increases over time, Sherlock had unexpectedly done something rash.

Alan had taken his sudden change in attitude to be mere desperation. But in reality, Sherlock had received William’s message, and while maintaining his composure, he proceeded to act as if he had no regard for his own life. By doing so, his violence in loading the gun, as well as his choice to fill the cylinder to its upper limit, were all interpreted as the products of a meltdown — and they were able to avoid any suspicion that they had seen through his trick.

However, this method of using Alan’s own trick against him was not foolproof. Although they had added new scratches to the cylinder, the original marks still remained. On close inspection, it might be possible to distinguish them.

With that in mind, Alan turned to face his accomplices behind him. But they said nothing, perhaps out of confusion. They had no confidence that they’d loaded the bullets in the right chambers. A sense of unease began to swell within Alan.

If Sherlock’s trap had succeeded, the positions of the bullets in Alan’s gun would now be off.

His revolver had six chambers. Counting from where the cylinder would stop, the first three chambers were supposed to be filled. Now with the markings “shifted” two positions forward, it would be that the first, and last two chambers were filled instead.

Since one round had already been fired, only the other two bullets remained. He was essentially in the same situation as William. In that case, as William had the first move, he would be able to fire on Alan one turn earlier.

In short, in this perverse version of Russian roulette, Alan had employed rigged revolvers, his accomplices had mistaken the positions of the scratch marks, and William had elected to go first. With these three conditions in place, William’s victory had been secured.

“What kind of joke is this……”

From the start, the game’s outcome had been set in stone.

That had originally been Alan’s plan. But William took advantage of it and turned the tables on him.

Despite being in a position of absolute superiority, victory had escaped him a second time. Alan’s blood was boiling.

“A—Again! I will surely win if we play again!”

William put his revolver down, and shook his head in pity.

“Unfortunately, there will be no rematch. Both of us no longer have the time to humour someone like you,” he replied curtly.

Alan lost his patience and slammed the table.

“Do you look down on everyone, you brat?!”

“All you do is envy others, and that is why you have lost yourself,” William said, with the air of an educator.

Before Alan could make sense of that, the sound of a revolver’s hammer being cocked emanated from the floor.

“——Don’t move.”

Then, the fallen detective staggered to his feet. Even though he had been shot in the abdomen, his face betrayed no trace of pain, instead wearing the grin of a child whose mischief had succeeded. In his hand, was a fully-loaded revolver.

“Holmes, why you bastard—”

“I don’t feel like explaining myself right now. Anyway, all of you raise your hands like grown men,” Sherlock ordered sharply, amidst their confusion.

Perhaps they were caught completely off guard, but Alan’s accomplices put up no struggle as they timidly raised both hands. The young man who had been held hostage edged quietly away from them.

William rose from his seat in a leisurely manner.

“From the start, our goal was to create this exact scenario. You have no intention of giving up no matter how many times your opponent wins. In that case, we should overturn the entire stage. To that end, this game, which allowed Mr Holmes to be eliminated by faking his death, presented the perfect opportunity.”

Just as William had planned, his act of near-suicide right from the outset had thrown them off balance, such that no one paid any notice to the fallen Sherlock. Then Sherlock came back to life with perfect timing, providing the key to their counterattack.

With their plan a roaring success, William and Sherlock were brimming with satisfaction.

“You two……”

Alan glared at them with hateful eyes.

“Oh, you’re not going admit defeat at this stage, aren’t you? That might actually be a good idea. Since all of you outnumber us, if you all take your guns out right now, you could certainly kill us. But Mr Holmes is sure to take a few of you down with him too. Is anyone prepared to be one of those ‘few’?”

“Now this is a genuinely fair and exciting challenge. Come on, who wants to join the game?”

Against the two of them, who were proudly putting their lives on the line, not a single person made a move.

In the end, the ‘equality’ that Alan and his accomplices had put forward, was nothing more than a hollow notion bragged about from within their circle of safety.

Having truly fought for his life and come out standing, to these men, William directed a gentle smile.

“Since it seems no one wishes to participate, ——this is game over.”

T/N: You may have noticed that the explanations of the trick are somewhat awkward (haha). It wasn’t explained 100% clearly in the Japanese text — I took a while to get it myself — so I decided to drop more hints within the text, rather than do so in a footnote. I hope it made sense for you!

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #yuumori #english translation #forbidden games #illustration insert

157 notes · View notes

babemendesbarnes · 3 years

Text

A two way deal | one shot

Paring: Bucky x DemonFem!Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: Bucky is tired. He hasn’t gotten a single good night of sleep in decades, and he’s done with the nightmares. Hearing about a certain woman who makes deals that could get him what he needed sounds like a miracle. Only when Bucky does find her, it’s no miracle, and she’s no saint.

Warnings: 18+ only, SMUT, talk of religious subjects (devil, hell...)

A/N: This is inspired by the character Maze in the show Lucifer, I absolutely love her arc. This is initially a one shot, but I liked it so much I might write another part. Also my first smut. Tell me what you think!

The club lights flashed red and you downed your vodka shot, body getting warmer by the second. Excitement ran through your veins as the familiar feeling clouded your thoughts.

Something was different though.

Everything was so much stronger this time. The feeling so powerful you were forced to close your eyes, the fake human color being replaced by their true shade of black.

You could feel his memories, almost taste how they haunted him.

The second he sat on the table across from you, everything slowed down. The music beat got sexier, tempting, as the air got thicker. His piercing blue eyes examined you from head to toe, searching for threats in your tight leather pants and black corset.

You could see the disappointment in the brunette woman sitting with her legs on top of yours as she realized you would be busy. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, you whispered that you would find her later, gently patting her legs for her to leave.

Bucky didn’t stop staring at you for even a second.

"Didn’t take you for a club kind of man, Mr. Barnes."

If the super-soldier was surprised you knew who he was, he didn’t show it, his eyes still fixed on yours as you took him in.

He wasn’t dressed properly for the club, his dark jeans, black shirt, and leather jacket standing out from all the expensive suits you saw all night. And yet, the man looked better than anything you had ever laid your eyes on.

The contrast of his apparent demeanor to the things you saw in his head was admirable. The former Soldat knew how to show just what he wanted to, his face not giving in the demons dancing on his mind.

His hands tucked in his pockets, you ponder if he’s still afraid of his own body.

Wakanda might have given him a new vibranium arm, yet you wonder if he still sees blood whenever he looks at it.

"I heard you make deals."

Bucky seemed reluctant to speak at first, although his voice was still steady.

He didn’t want to be here, but to be honest, none of your clients ever did, so you were pretty used to this. The only reason they come to you is that they’re always just way too desperate, just like he is.

"You heard right, Mr. Barnes." you crossed your legs slowly as you called for the waiter to bring you a martini. "And a whiskey for the gentleman, please."

"I’m not drinking." you waved the waiter off, ignoring completely what Bucky had just said.

Surprising you was difficult. You’ve lived long enough to see just about everything, and well, you were created in the pits of hell, so there were not that many things that could amaze you. And yet, there was so much about the man in front of you that just picked your curiosity.

The brave Sergeant Bucky Barnes, the only Howling Commando that gave his life for his country. The infamous Winter Soldier, tortured and manipulated, stripped of his humanity. And now? A fucked up super-soldier with no family, no friends, and a man out of his time.

That’s something not even a demon sees every day.

The drinks were set on the table and you pushed his whiskey to him, watching him through your lashes, a smile planted on your lips as he took a big gulp. The tip of your red bottoms slightly brushing against his leg.

"Tell me, Mr. Barnes, " your body fell slightly forward, your tongue wetted your red-painted lips as his gaze followed every move. "what is it that you desire?"

Bucky felt lightheaded.

The sound of your voice dripped with something he couldn’t recognize, and yet, so desperately craved. He suddenly couldn’t form words.

"I need..." Bucky felt nervous, "I can’t..." his mind going against his commands and his eyes focused on the contour of your lips, how soft your skin would be upon his touch. So lost in thought he forgot he should probably finish his sentence.

You saw right through him though.

"You want them gone. Don’t you?" the world seemed to fade around your form. Your head tilted to the side as you so sweetly said the exact words he needed to hear. "You want the demons to go away."

Bucky never thought he could feel this again, to feel... understanding. And it only took a demon to do so.

Rounding the big red seat and dragging your body closer to Bucky, your lips brushed against his ear.

"You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?" His body stiffening as your nails traced his flesh arm.

"I have." his words were a little bit harsher this time. Your eyes locked and your hand touched his chest, the sound of his heart beating faster, almost as loud as the music.

"Let me take care of you, James." your voice just above a whisper, his fate settled as he silently consented.

You got up and signaled for him to follow.

Bucky didn’t have to be told twice, his body aching to be close to yours again.

This was not something he should feel. The priest of the small Brooklyn church he went to every Sunday morning used to lecture about how the Devil and his demons could lurk you in, bringing you to their sins just to drag you to hell.

But it was Bucky who came looking for the wicked, all you did was welcome his desires with open arms.

You two walked into an elevator, and you instantly felt his stare on you.

The last bit of sanity in the 106 years old man screamed at him, begging him to run. Demons were not givers, whatever they gave, came with a cost, and for someone like him, owning a favor was not a possible option.

"What’s the price?" His hands began to sweat, your answer being able to end the last ounce of hope Bucky had.

The metal doors reopened, revealing a breathtaking penthouse. "Don’t worry about it, I have no interest on bring the Soldat back, Mr. Barnes."

That was all it took for him to finally exhale the breath he didn't even notice he was holding.

Maybe stricking a deal with a demon could end well. Okay, probably not, but still. How the fuck did he even end up here anyway?

Well, too late to back out now.

Bucky looked around, the Los Angeles skyline visible through the giant glass walls, a bar filled with alcohol he had never even seen before, and a large grey couch next to a bookcase filled with books from probably before he was even born.

You grabbed two glasses and poured a black licor on them. Opening a glass door, Bucky followed you as your arms leaned against the balcony’s railing, giving him his drink as you watched the city.

"What is this?" he reflected your stance. The usually loud noises of the big city down below now quiet, you're breathing the only sound he could hear.

"Something special." His suspicious gaze made you laugh, the sound alone being able to wash Bucky’s distress away. "Don't worry, tastes like wine."

You two stayed like that for a couple of minutes, the soft Autumn breeze hitting your hair, the soft strands dancing in the air, hitting Bucky’s face a couple of times.

"Can I look?" your voice broke over the silence and Bucky didn’t need to ask what you were talking about.

"Haven’t you already?" you chuckled and a smirk played on your lips. "A little bit. Just the things I already knew. But for this... I have to see everything."

You knew what Hydra had done to the man. Although, by the few things you noticed about Bucky, you were pretty sure the torture inflicted upon him was not the biggest issue here.

"I would say going inside my mind is like walking through hell, but I’m guessing that’s not a problem for you."

Leading him to sit on the couch, Bucky noticed how you seemed to avoid answering the comment.

Everything about you confused Bucky so much, and every damn word you said just filled him with more questions.

"Sit."

You sat next to him, the tips of your fingers slowly touching the side of his head. If he noticed you wondered around his mind earlier without touching him, he didn’t complain about you doing it differently this time.

Bucky’s heart skipped a beat as images started to flood his head.

Both your chest’s rising and falling fast, his anxiety at watching his memories traveling to you.

A small Brooklyn apartment. George, Winifred, Rebecca. Dark alleys. Steve. World War II. 107th. Europe. Hydra. Captain America. Howling Commandos. Fall. Hydra. Pain. Erase. Cryo. Isaiah. President. Cryo. Stark. Gun. Cryo. Erase. Red Room. Blood. Cryo. Fury. Bucky?. Steve?. Erase. Lake. Steve. Zemo. King. Winter Soldier. Siberia. Stark. Sam. Wakanda. White Wolf. Thanos. Shield. Walker. Karli. Sam. Captain America.

Bucky’s hands are shaking against the couch.

As you open your eyes, you see his tear-stained cheeks, and only when his long fingers gently wipe your face, you realize yours were too.

It never felt this personal, to look into someone’s head. You just took what you needed and that was it. Not this time thought. An urge to give the man any possible comfort made you get up in a rush and almost fly to get a refill.

Bucky starts to calm down and when his eyes follow you, he finally sees a black shining piano in the corner of the room that weirdly seemed to call out to him.

"You play?" your voice took him out of his thoughts. He left the couch and took a few steps towards you, who was now leaning on the instrument.

"My ma taught me before the war." you smiled softly and told him to go ahead. "Oh, no. I probably don’t even know how to anymore." he all of a sudden felt shy under your gaze.

You walked slowly to him, taking his vibranium hand in such a natural way, Bucky wondered how you had never done that before.

Taking him to the piano, you both sat down, sharing the small seat.

"This is not something you forget," leading his hand to the keyboard, you placed your fingers on top of his, pushing the keys down, and shortly, a soft jazz melody echoed in the room as your skilled hands moved in sync. "there are some things no one can take from you, James, not even time."

As both your hands kept making music, your eyes locked and Bucky forgot all about the definitions he heard all his life about the divine and the profane.

Your smile felt like heaven, only your lips were sin.

His hand moved to the back of your neck, his eyes asking for permission you happily granted, your lips meeting as you pulled him to you.

The kiss was eager, your lips moving fast as you didn’t waste a second to open your mouth and welcome Bucky’s tongue.

You climbed his lap, your hands running through his short locks as he kissed along your neck.

Lust almost felt like a drug. You were sure you were addicted.

Between gasps and shivers, you fell to your knees and heard him take a shaky breath. Placing your hands on his face, you pulled Bucky down to look you in the eyes.

"When was the last time someone made you feel good, James?" Bucky gasped as your delicate fingers slowly undid his belt, your voice sweet like honey. "Answer me, baby."

"I... I can’t even remember it."

You chuckled lightly, pushing his jeans down, your nails trailing along his strong thighs, wet kisses following the path of the fading red lines. "Let me make you feel good, James."

Your light touches and lust dripping voice made Bucky feel like he could come undone by this alone, his hands holding tightly onto the piano bench.

Your tongue traced the trimmed hairs on his abdomen, your own personal path to paradise, disappearing into his black boxers. You pulled at his shirt, ripping and throwing it somewhere in the room.

"What do you want, James? Tell me." you pulled his boxers down, Bucky quietly moaned as his cock sprung free.

Your mouth salivated at the sight of Bucky’s hard cock, his impressive length making your walls clench around nothing, panties ruined at the thought of him inside you.

"Your mouth. Please, Y/N, I need your mouth." The desperation in James's voice only made you want to pleasure him even more, eager to hear his sweet sounds.

Your hands pumped him before your tongue traced the vein running along the side of his cock. You licked him top to bottom a few times, his pleas finally attended as you swirled your tongue over his tip, relaxing your jaw and taking him in your mouth. Each time going further down his length, you hollowed your cheeks, a raspy moan he let out going straight to your core.

"Fuck, doll." Bucky wrapped his hands on your hair, pushing you further down his dick, saliva dripping down his balls. "You look so fucking good with your mouth wrapped around my cock."

His sudden vocality only spurred you, moaning when his tip reached the back of your throat.

"That’s it doll. Come on, take everything."

Bucky’s head fell back as you choked on him, his grip moving your head to take him faster, a familiar feeling of pleasure he missed so much clouding all his senses.

"Shit... I’m not gonna last long, doll." you took your lips off of him just for a second.

With puffy, red, and wet lips, you glanced at him with lazy eyes, the sight alone bringing him closer to falling apart. "Come for me, Bucky."

Your lips wrapped around his dick again, and with two more hard thrusts, Bucky came with a groan. You swallowed every drop he gave you.

"Holy fuck." he swore as his breathing calmed down and you gave him a mischievous smile.

"Not exactly holy, Sargeant." you both chuckled and it didn’t go unnoticed by you the twist on his face at the use of his old title.

Bucky kicked off his jeans and picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. Your back hit a wall as he kissed your neck, biting and sucking on the soft skin.

You moaned when he found a sensitive spot between your neck and collarbone, his mouth leaving red marks behind. You jumped out of his embrace and led him to your bed, throwing him into the mattress.

His stare never left your body. At every piece of clothing you removed, the blue in his eyes seemed to disappear even more, his pupils so blown out it reminded you of your own.

"You have been bad, Sargeant."

You crawled into the bed, taking your time on getting on top of him. The feeling of your hot, wet core against his skin made Bucky’s cock impossibly harder. Your hand pulled at his hair, forcing him to look at you, a raspy moan escaping Bucky’s lips. "You like being bad, James?"

"No." his answer made you chuckle.

"No?" your lips kissed his jawline, licking every piece of skin you found, your teeth biting his earlobe. "But look at you, Sargeant, falling apart on my hands."

Your hands rested against his chest as you bent forward, guiding his cock into your core.

"Fuck." you both moaned as his tip slowly entered you.

Bucky’s hands had a tight bruising hold on your hips, he slowly helped you sink down his length. You didn’t wait before moving your hips back and forth, loving the pain of being stretched out by him.

"Shit, you feel so good around me, doll."

Bucky pulled you to him, his mouth catching one of your breasts, biting and kissing your nipple, his hand caressing the other as you bounced on his cock.

You tugged harder on his brown locks as he started to thrust up, fucking you harder. You nearly screamed his name when he found that special place inside you, hitting it with every thrust of his hips.

"You’re so fucking tight." Bucky let out a groan as your pussy squeezed the shit out of him.

Everything was way too much. You felt dizzy as you met his hard, frenetic thrusts. His cold vibranium fingers found your clit, drawing fast circles, bringing you even closer to the edge.

"Bucky! Fuck, I’m gonna..."

You pushed his body down, your hands grabbing his throat and giving it just a little bit of pressure, his eyes rolling back, and his deep moans getting louder.

Your veins turned to fire, your whole body shaking as you felt the waves of euphoria taking over. You threw your head back, tears falling as the strong orgasm hit you, your eyes turning into their natural black as you stared at the ceiling.

"Come here, doll." he tried pulling you to him, but you just pushed him further down.

Bucky pushed himself up, pulling you by your neck, his hands forcing you to look at him. Your breath hitched as his hands held your cheeks with a tenderness you had never known, his lips meeting yours in a soft, gentle kiss. Your mind was spinning at the sudden change.

Your breath caught in your throat as Bucky´s beautiful blue eyes stared at your empty ones like they held the keys to Eden.

"You’re not scared of me?" the confused, bitter tone on your voice made Bucky’s heart break in two, cause he recognized that. He heard it in his own voice every damn day.

"Are you, of me?" a tear fell down your cheek, his thump gently brushing it away. You knew every part of him, so the quiet 'no' you whispered made Bucky’s smile grow. "There you go, sweetheart."

For some reason, after that, everything seemed to change. Bucky turned you both around, your back hitting the mattress as he slowly pulled out, just to fill you up completely again.

His thrusts became harder and faster as he chased his own orgasm, driving you into your second one, but somehow, it felt more caring, personal.

Your nails scratched his back, leaving red angry lines behind, a reminder you would leave on him of this night.

Your legs hugged Bucky’s form, urging him to hit deeper inside of you, if that was even possible. His vibranium digits finding your clit again.

"One more, doll." his hands brushed the hairs out of your face, his eyes filled with unfamiliar adoration. "Come for me."

He kissed you gently as you felt his dick ripping you apart, ruining you just the way you liked.

You came again, milking his cock and triggering his own orgasm.

"Fuck, Y/N!" Bucky came hard, chanting your name as his cum shot deep inside you.

After you both felt like you could breathe again, Bucky slowly slipped out and fell next to you on the bed.

His eyes had already started to close, his chest falling and rising evenly as he searched for your body, pulling you close to him.

You both fell asleep and for the first time in decades, Bucky’s demons didn’t haunt him in his dreams.

The sun was rising and you had been awake for a long time, your mind racing as the events of just a few hours ago played in your head.

Demons weren’t born. They were forged in hell.

You were made with one purpose only, to serve Lucifer and torture the souls that lost themselves into perdition. The lack of your own soul was never a problem as you spent your days in the pits of hell. But now? Joining Lucifer on Earth showed you just how much you couldn’t have.

Bucky reminded you of what you couldn’t have.

As the man woke up, he felt an unusual sense of cold enveloping him, and that’s when he noticed your body was no longer pressed against his.

Opening his eyes, he noticed a small note resting on top of the pillow you had laid in, all night long, as he held you in his arms.

I’m not one to break a deal, your nightmares were gone for this night just like they always will be from now on.

Don’t worry about your part of the deal, you’ve paid me already.

And before you get any ideas, I’m not a name on your make amends list, you can’t help me, Mr. Barnes. Do not come looking for me again.

Sweet dreams, James.

#bucky barnes #bucky oneshot #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #demon reader #marvel one shot

112 notes · View notes

momsopposed2theoccult · 3 years

Note

I don't know and I'm sorry if you have answered this before, but what do you think about toph being a cop, there's so much hate on it but I personally don't find it that wrong, I'm not sure tho I haven't seen korra yet. thank you:）

I'm going to be honest with you and say that I'm still pretty on the fence about this myself. I've spent a lot of time pondering it, but I'm still not sure where I stand, because I feel like there's an argument to be made both for and against it. Not sure if I'll be able to provide you with a straight answer, but I'm happy to provide some thoughts on both sides of the argument as well as on how and why I think she got into the field, my issues with the way the police force was run in LoK (under the assumption that it was built from the ground up by Toph herself), and what I would have done differently (or rather what I think Toph would have done differently that would have made it feel more in-character, if that makes sense).

The main argument as to why it's out of character for Toph to go into law enforcement is that in the original show she's portrayed as somebody who is anti-authoritarian and has no qualms about breaking the law. Kid Toph is very much a "fuck the rules" kind of person and dislikes being told what to do, so the idea that enforcing rules and regulations would become her future career is definitely confusing. Although I was also extremely confused at first, over time it's grown on me in a way and I can make sense of it. However, I agree that it's still not the most in-character and I can understand why a lot of people don't like it.

Although it's still up for debate as to whether or not she has the philosophy for the job, she absolutely has the skill set for it. I can see her enjoying getting to exercise her metalbending skills on a daily basis. Toph is in extremely good physical shape and is an athletic person who enjoys exercise, and having a physically-oriented job would definitely be good for her. She probably made an excellent detective as well, what with her lie-detecting abilities, seismic sense, and general fine-tuned observational skills. Oh and can you imagine being interrogated by Toph? Scary shit. There's also something to be said about how although Toph hates being told what to do, she absolutely loves being in charge and telling other people what to do. Like they say, "When you get sick of breaking the rules, you make the rules," which is sort of how I view Toph in this scenario. Toph is largely unhappy with a lot of the rules and regulations in society, so I think that if she were offered a position where instead of having to follow other people's rules, she would be able to create her own rules in a way she saw fit, I don't think it would be entirely out of character for her to take it. My headcanon is that she created the police force as a favour to Aang and Zuko because they asked her to and she wanted to feel like she was playing an important role in the founding of Republic City. Toph has many virtues, but humble she is not. I really do think she would enjoy the glory she received in such a high-profile position as the Chief of Police. Would she be passionate about the law, per se? Well no, but I think she would enjoy being able to exercise her unique skill set on a daily basis and would likely get a thrill out of bringing people like Yakone to justice. She would enjoy feeling important. Toph isn't someone I view as really wanting a long-term career, so I imagine her getting into the position was less "I want to be a cop!" and more "Welp, I need to get a stable career eventually, and Zuko and Aang really want me to do this for them, and hey I guess I'll get to metalbend everyday and oh I'll have lots of people to yell at and being in charge would be fun and you know what I don't trust anybody but myself to make the rules in this goddamn city so what the hell, I'll take it." I do think that people forget that Toph wasn't just a beat cop, she wasn't even just a detective. She was the Chief. And it wasn't as if she inherited the system from somebody else, it was quite literally a system of her own creation. She wasn't upholding somebody else's law either, she was creating her own laws. Toph was the law in Republic City, and there are few things that girl loves more than being in charge and telling other people what to do.

Now, as to how the Republic City Police Department was portrayed in LoK, it really didn't feel like a system of Toph's own creation like we're supposed to believe it was. Apparently it was largely inspired by the Dai Li, and the idea that Toph would create a system modelled after the Dai Li is preposterous. Toph hated the Dai Li and Ba Sing Se in general. The RCPD is largely "arrest now, ask questions later" and very focused on security, security, security, which just isn't Toph's style. I've seen people throw around the idea of an alternative system loosely inspired by the Kyoshi Warriors, which is something I do like, and I think Toph would as well. I don't think that Toph would really bother with petty day to day stuff like robberies. The main function of the police force under Toph's control would be to bring "real" criminals like Yakone who legitimately endanger the lives and safety of other people to justice. In fact, I can see Toph wanting to rehabilitate and give a second chance to "petty" criminals, especially youth (this is especially true when you take into consideration that she is somebody with a criminal past herself). As we see throughout the show and the comics, Toph is a forgiving person who gives second chances and will hear you out even when you don't feel as though you really "deserve" it. Hell, even if you are a "real" criminal, Toph would probably still hear you out and give you a chance to properly explain yourself. She's 100% the kind of person who would demand fair trial for every single criminal who comes into her custody, even the guiltiest of the guilty, because that's the kind of person that Toph is. In general I think she would likely be a controversial figure in Republic City who would routinely question every single law the council tried to pass. Toph would flat out refuse to uphold any and all laws she felt were unjust or unnecessary, which is part of the reason why having someone like her in the position would in some ways be beneficial.

To be completely honest as somebody who's read a ton of Toph-centric canon complicit post-ATLA-pre-LOK fanfiction, I've kind of just gotten used to the idea. In some ways it makes sense, in some ways it doesn't, and in my opinion it's far from the worst thing that LOK did to Toph's character. But that's just my two cents.

#asks #this got long wow #atla #avatar the last airbender #lok #tlok #the legend of korra #toph beifong #nora speaks

34 notes · View notes

uwua3 · 3 years

Note

if it's ok 😳👉👈 i really love your writing and i've had this idea in my head for awhile but i can't get myself to write it on my own 🤔 i wanted to see how your spin would be on it- so can i request a prompt where reader gets jealous of tenma's co-actress in a romance and tries to mimic what she does to him in a show they're in?? ty!!! 💕💕💕 i look forward to your interpretation

thank you so much for requesting~ ♡ i love you sososo much; i hope this lives up to everything you’ve dreamed of! ♡ ～('▽^人) i LOVE YOU!!! <333

summary: when tenma lands a role in your favorite drama, he had one goal: to become your favorite actor

warnings: envy/jealousy, food mentions, rivalry (all covered briefly!)

author’s note: after learning everything there is to know about the k-drama, true beauty, on tik tok, i’ve decided to write this! for context, the only thing i recommend watching before reading this is watching the “roar” scene!

this is also the first time i’ve introduced made-up characters with names! please enjoy jun, the first character who isn’t canon to the a3!verse :D

word count: 3,768

music: like a movie – b1a4

pretty u!

🌻☀️ sumeragi tenma

what the heck was love, and why did he have to be in it?

sumeragi tenma, future “world’s best actor”, was suddenly... seeing why he hadn’t won that award yet. with a script in his hand and confusion in another, tenma read the title of the next drama he landed the role for

“PRETTY U...” it was japan’s next major love story, advertised on every social media platform possible with the all-star cast in the spotlight already. although it had already been out for a season, tenma was entering as the up-and-coming newest character of the series

tenma was boyish, young, and much too confident for his age—perfect for the role of a second-lead bad boy who was going to steal the heart and test the protagonist’s commitment

except... he didn’t actually want to take up a new project so soon. he only did because—

“what?! you’re going to be chan on PRETTY U?!” he proudly nodded and watched as you began ranting about how much you loved this show. there was only one reason he came to the audition: tenma wanted to star in your favorite television series

you always went on and on about how great everything about PRETTY U was. after hearing so much and pretending not to listen (even if he could practically explain the entire plotline now without watching it), tenma let himself become a fan, too

after all, how could he not be a fan when you loved PRETTY U so much?

tenma didn’t respond to his manager’s pleas until one day, you revealed another reason why PRETTY U was your favorite production: the main lead

“he’s so handsome~ i love him so much!” “do you know him? could you get me his number?” “look at him... he’s the most perfect actor in the business right now—ah, sorry ten!”

tenma scoffed every time, claiming he could most certainly do better than that hotshot. although the boys typically didn’t do the same type of television, he had become tenma’s #1 rival without even knowing it

besides... what did that guy have that tenma didn’t? he was just nice! sure, he held open the door for the lead, bent down to tie her shoes, bended over backwards just to be the perfect boy-next-door. yeah... even he couldn’t pretend anymore

tenma pouted at the thought, skimming over his next pilot episode for rehearsal tomorrow. he was too good to be real, after all, he was meant to end up with the lead girl anyways (spoiler alert!)

but, it didn’t matter how perfect that actor was! because tenma had gotten the role of “chan”, the leather-jacket wearing mystery with an actual heart of gold, and he was going to make the entire audience swoon

(though, tenma just wanted to make your heart skip a beat when he ended up on the big screen)

tenma would never admit how fast he checked his phone when he felt it buzz in his pocket. sure, it was unprofessional during rehearsal but he knew it was you. however, his smile dropped the moment he read what you sent

you: remember to tell him how much i love him!

tenma: hah... no good luck for your new bad boy?

you: you know i’ll always root for you, ten!

tenma: but, i’m better than that actor, right?

tenma watched his message get delivered and was about to keep bothering you until someone called his name like they were friends. speak of the devil...

that actor’s straight, white toothy smile made tenma stand a little straighter (damn it, tenma was shorter), eyes wide as the actor gracefully introduced himself as his co-star for the next month or so (how did his voice sound even better in person?!)

“good morning, tenma! my name is jun, i’m so honored to meet a fellow actor on set! let’s work together well!” were they... really the same age? tenma barely registered the fact he was suddenly shaking jun’s (right, that’s his name) hand. why did he have such a manly grip?

tenma quickly (to his dismay) found out that him & jun had entered the industry around the same time but often had different projects, so they were never featured in the same production before. apparently, that was creating quite a buzz in the media that two childhood stars were competing against one another

a competition that tenma couldn’t lose. he was going to be your favorite actor, not his rival!

jun, like the perfect gentleman everyone described him to be, showed tenma around the PRETTY U set. jun had nothing but good things to say about the crew and vise versa. that only reinforced how tenma was oddly much more quiet than he usually was. luckily, one of the talents of being an actor was improvising, so jun was doing just fine

when they had reached the dressing rooms, jun shot a bright smile at tenma and gestured to the rather large room

“we’ll be sharing a dressing room together, tenma! we’ll be spending a lot of time together!”

tenma suddenly regretted his decision to become chan of PRETTY U. you couldn’t have had a different favorite show?! anything but... this

there were now three main characters for PRETTY U: hoshi, yuri, and chan, creating a love triangle for millions of viewers to watch every week

nakamura jun, leading role, played “hoshi”, the boy-next-door. this is the popular boy at school with the best grades and an even greater reputation amongst everyone. next, uedo ren, one of japan’s rising female actresses of this generation. she is adored as “yuri”, the perfect girl. she is the typical nerd who suddenly transformed into the prettiest girl at school from learning make-up

last (but definitely not least!) is sumeragi tenma, playing “chan”, the bad boy. it was nothing like tenma’s done before, since the character was much less expressive than he was used to. chan is a traditional rebel who is revealed to have a soft side for yuri. but, chan (ironically enough) has a secret history with hoshi, causing tension in this already confusing love triangle

(embarrassingly enough, jun had to explain to tenma the complications and ties between each character. tenma, unfortunately, found it to be extremely helpful)

even with this newfound knowledge of the characters in season 2, tenma couldn’t help but absolutely ruin the first day of rehearsals. even with a decade or so of acting as his experience, one thing kept him from being chan: his lack of chemistry with “yuri”

“cut!” the director called out again for the nth time, sighing as their eyes landed on tenma, who was not enjoying being the center of attention this time, surprisingly

“take 5, kid. once you come back, i expect you to actually go through this scene without messing up your lines.” tenma nodded and exited quickly, feeling flustered from the looks of sympathy directed his way. usually, it was one-and-done. it didn’t take a hundred tries just to do another romantic and cliché scene

tenma exhaled loudly once he felt the fresh air upon his face. without the fear of cameras in his face anymore, tenma ran his hand through his hair with a frustrated kick at the concrete. come on! he was renown child actor sumeragi tenma, why was he so in his head now?

tenma was about to yell into the sky before he heard someone close the door, standing beside him with their usual silence. tenma didn’t even have to look to know it was jun (probably with the most pitiful look ever)

“tenma? are you okay?” jun waited as tenma tried to not say anything he’d regret, shifting his weight on his foot back and forth before relenting, shrugging as if it couldn’t be helped

“i don’t know... i just, i can’t see yuri that way. how am i supposed to flirt with someone i don’t even like?”

jun pondered the thought for a moment, before tilting his head, a boyish smile overtaking his features. tenma unwillingly relaxed; jun finally looked his age

“who do you like then?”

tenma froze, a blush even foundation couldn’t hide blossoming on his cheeks. jun let out a teasing “oooh!” as he nudged tenma with his shoulder, who pushed back with an eye-roll

“i-it’s not like that! don’t be so—ugh!” tenma cut himself off, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding jun’s knowing eyes. damn it, they barely knew each other. why was he getting so comfortable with his enemy?!

“well, whoever you thought of, imagine yuri as them.”

“is that what you do?”

jun shrugged, not giving a clear answer for once. before tenma could ask for more information, their break was over

when tenma returned to the scene, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. when he opened them again, he watched as yuri transformed into the one person he’s been trying to impress this entire time: you

when “you” smiled, tenma couldn’t help but follow along. his first-take after break made the cut for the final product

“you must really like them, tenma~” — “stop!!!”

filiming afterwards became easy, especially when he imagined all his romantic words were directed towards you. he could feel the clamminess of his hands, the rapid beat of his heart, the intense blush across his face, all at the thought of you

(the only time he had to start over was when he accidentally said your name instead of yuri’s)

tenma was sure he’d become your favorite actor now! after all, you were his favorite person

“will you watch the first episode of PRETTY U’s season 2 with me?”

you had never said yes so fast in your entire life. when tenma learned there’d be a cast-viewing of episode 1 after finishing the season, he knew his +1 invite could only go to the biggest fan of the show

throughout filming, you were always the person who got him in trouble when the text tone wasn’t put on silent. you liked spamming tenma with a bunch of supportive and encouraging messages when you were available, meaning tenma always had something to look forward to after each scene

in return, tenma would send a selfie of him with his castmates or the set (or, what he was allowed to show under his contract). yet, despite your constant pleas, there was one co-star he’d never take a photograph with: jun

(“tenma! we’ve worked together for months~ shouldn’t i be called your friend now?” “no—” “huh?! don’t pretend you don’t like me!” “who said i was pretending?” “tenma!”)

at first, tenma was apprehensive about inviting you to an event where jun’s picture-perfect face would be on display everywhere. but, whenever he saw you, the weight of the tickets suddenly felt much heavier in his pocket. he couldn’t deprieve you of such an exclusive event just because of his jealousy (even if he was this close to doing so)

when tenma impulsively asked three days before, it felt worth it when you threw your arms around him (he hugged you back and pretended this meant something to you)

“i love you, ten!”

tenma felt like he was on set again, with yuri’s arms tightly holding onto his heart

“i love you, too.”

even after saying it so many times, tenma meant it even if he didn’t say it to your face every time

you looked like the star of the show

tenma fixed his tie as his blazer suddenly felt too tight. you appeared in your most formal attire, looking like a million bucks as you two sat across each other in the limo

“ten, look at all of this!” you pointed out every little thing of preparing for a professional event. the little glasses of champagne neither of you two could drink sat to the side as the leather seats molded to fit your posture. as the night lights of tokyo blurred by, tenma couldn’t help but think you sparkled more than this diamond of a city

“i can’t wait to go see the first episode! thank you for inviting me.” you bowed your head, as if suddenly overcome with gratefulness. tenma lightly kicked your shoe with his, fondly rolling his eyes as he tried not to smile (mission failed)

“don’t worry about it, who else would i bring? you’re my favorite pe—friend. friend, yeah...” tenma trailed off, suddenly finding something very interesting outside of the window. you only nodded, seemingly more interested in the fact there was enough room to walk around

when tenma caught sight of the infamous red carpet laid out in front of the theatre, he cleared his throat and put on his best face for the cameras. after stepping out of the car with his bodyguards nearby, tenma turned and gave you a genuine smile. not his typical arrogant smirk the news source ate up, but a type of smile only reserved for you

when he held out his hand, the flashing lights behind him seemed like a real celebrity, something you had never considered him to be before. it was like seeing tenma in a new light (both literally and figuratively)

“shall we?” you took his hand and wondered if you could ever have your own j-drama. perhaps, tenma could even be the main lead...

before you could step off to the side, tenma already had his arm wrapped around your waist with his unchanging expression (however, underneath it all, he was internally freaking out. what was he going to do now?!)

“you’re my date, right? walk the red carpet with me.” tenma winked (you swore it sparkled) as he gestured towards the carpet ahead. suddenly, the line seemed much longer

“t-ten... you’ve never brought a date before...” you mumbled, acutely aware of how soon it was to walk down together. tenma’s arm stiffened, but nothing else exposed the revelation as he looked down at you

“you’re my first, then.” and my last, tenma thought to himself. before you could change your mind, it was showtime. tenma put on his movie star face and introduced you to familiar interviewers, smiling away as if you two weren’t panicking on the inside

while you were focusing on the fact you were going to be going viral as tenma’s first “date” to the event, tenma was trying not to blush from how close you were. you felt... right besides him

tenma was a natural in front of an audience waiting for him to make a mistake. he flawlessly answered every question with swaggering confidence, his stride easy and poses photogenic

you did your best to follow his lead but it all ended when tenma took you into the theatre, staring down at you with a bright smile

“we did it! see, told you we’d be just fine.” tenma let out an exhale of relief, glowing with joy from the adrenaline of everything that came with being a superstar. as you looked up into his excited eyes, you saw him lean down before—

“your arm is still around me.”

silence, then a hurried separation as tenma put too many feet between you two. it was suddenly as if you two were strangers. you regretted the words the moment they left your mouth; you didn’t mind at all... why did you say something?!

“um... so, food?” tenma spoke up after an eternity of making excuses. you two quickly moved to the line of movie snacks, using candy and popcorn to substitue the suddenly awkward silence

when tenma ordered all your favorites without even asking, he turned around with the selection only to close his eyes and internalize every single thing he was feeling because there he was, his worst enemy

jun entered from a side door, most likely finishing up helping the crew with set-up (and 30 minutes early as usual) before catching tenma’s iconic bright orange hair, a grin lighting up his face

“tenma! it’s me, jun!” he said, as if they weren’t the two main leads of japan’s most famous drama so far. immediately, your smile matched jun’s as you watched as your favorite actor of all time make his way towards you two

“jun... of course you’d be here.” tenma said through gritted teeth, forcing a pleasant smile even with an armful of junk

“ah, still keeping the bad boy attitude? we’re off set now, you can stop method acting now.” jun joked, bringing his attention to you with a dazzling smile that would absolutely make any fansite’s career

“oh? who is this, a friend of yours?” tenma tried not to sigh so loud when you couldn’t help yourself and burst into a long rant about how amazing jun was. tenma waited until you reached your midpoint and stopped you with a quick nudge, trying not to scream (could jun stop being so... perfect? could you stop being so cute?!)

when tenma introduced you, he stood a little closer as he tried to maintain his jealousy. “they’re my date, by the way.” no one had asked, but tenma was clearly telling anyone who was around you two had gone together

jun’s eyes lit up in recognition as he let out a noise of surprise. “ah~ so this is who you—”

tenma didn’t regret losing his giant popcorn so fast to a co-star who could only be silenced with food. his wallet could afford another one, anyways. his pride on the other hand? could not let you know his acting secret already

“what was jun going to say?” you asked after you two departed for the viewing room. tenma nonchalantly pretended like everything was okay as he guided you to front row

“probably something about the fact you’re the one who always interrupts our scenes.”

“hey! my texts make your day, don’t lie!”

“go sit down and eat already, jeez.”

when it began, your eyes couldn’t leave the screen. it was better than you could have imagined. everything was perfect, it exceeded the standards of even the toughest fans out there. you loved every second of it... except...

tenma was too good at being chan. even with his bright hair, the dark clothes he wore made him appear intimidating, with his sharp eyes and even sharper smirk. chan’s appearance was tough, rough, and mean, everything tenma wasn’t

yet, you still couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when chan was clearly in love with yuri. yuri was one of your favorite characters by far, but she ended up bothering you for the entireity of the episode

especially every time she shared a scene (which were many times) with chan. chan was revealed to be a bad boy with a heart of gold, all with a special soft side for yuri

what was this feeling? were you... no, you couldn’t be! after all, you had never seen tenma that way before, right? yet, every time chan made an exception for yuri, you felt sick to your stomach

was it possible that tenma liked the actress who played yuri? you snuck a glance at tenma, only to see he was looking at you already (he’d never admit it, but he was watching your reactions to see if he made you proud. yet, every time you saw him, you subconsciously frowned)

were you not proud of him? did you not like his performance as chan?

before tenma could ask you, the scene changed into one of chan’s. he was standing outside in the school uniform, his head ducked as he swiped through yuri’s social media. before he could look up, yuri jumped in front of him with a teasing smile

“roar!” she called out, referring to their inside joke earlier in the episode. yuri cutely bounced back with another roar, holding her hands up like paws. chan watched, his typical rock-hard expression breaking to reveal his developing feelings for yuri

later on, chan stopped yuri in the hallway, other students watching as the school’s bad boy and goddess interact

“do that again.” chan demanded to which yuri innocently tilted her head, confused like a little puppy. “do what?” “that... that thing.” when chan roared, tenma sunk into his seat with an embarrassed defense and explanation ready. but, when he looked, you finally cracked a laugh at his little roar

your smile only fell when yuri roared again as a joke, but chan smiled for once. tenma wondered why... he thought you would be so happy to be here with him. maybe, he’d never be better than jun...

when the episode ended, it took a moment before you stood up and clapped. tenma followed along, but all he could think about was how he let you down. not only as chan, but as your boy, too

when you two left the room, you two hung back to watch as everyone congratulated one another on the success of the production. in the midst of the cheer and celebration, tenma felt small as he watched your blank expression

what did he do wrong? he put his best efforts into every scene; he might even say it was his best work yet. before he could apologize, you did the unthinkable: you roared

you jumped up into his face, holding your hands up like yuri did. when yuri did it, tenma didn’t feel a thing. but, when you did, tenma felt it. the butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he stared at you, frozen in place

“this is the part where you ask me to do it again.” you shyly trailed off, about to put your hands down before tenma weakly put his hands up, knowing he was about to regret his next move (if the embarrassment didn’t kill him, he didn’t know what would)

“roar!”

that was too loud, wasn’t it? the room suddenly went a lot more quiet as they turned their attention towards a teen actor roaring at his date

“yah! why didn’t you ask me the next line?”

“b-because... i know i like you even without you doing, that, again.”

you paused, taken back by his honesty. as tenma contemplated just falling onto the floor right then and there, you suddenly hardened your expression, standing up straighter with your arms crossed

“do that again.”

“do what?”

“that thing.”

when tenma roared again, much quieter this time, you nodded as you finally smiled genuinely for the first time ever since that episode started

“good, i know how chan feels now. i like you, too.”

“does that mean i’m your favorite actor now?”

(when jun released a video of tenma roaring online, he captioned it with “ROAR = ILY!!!” tenma realized maybe he wasn’t all that bad, but still)

#sumeragi tenma #tenma sumeragi #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #tenma x reader #a3! tenma #a3 tenma

136 notes · View notes

jenosslut · 3 years

Text

sugary euphoria

pairings: mark lee x fem!reader

genre/s: fluff, suggestive, angst, romance

details: strangers to lovers!au, high school!au

warnings: suggestive content, suggestive humor, explict language

word count: 3k

synopsis: where two sunset lovers experience feelings they never knew existed through the journey of adolescence.

a/n: i absolutely hate how this turned out im so sorry. a special thank you to @navyhyuck, @heartyyjeno and @neojaems for beta reading this. an even more special thank you to @hunjins for always believing in me no matter what.

taglist: @hunjins @neovrse @mrkcore @moonbeamsung @jjikyuu @mellowvoidexpertfriend

couldn’t tag: @markslovelymaid

02.09.2016

you got me breathless, got me begging you to drive me insane

The weather stays warm, in hopes of smiling on everyone. The buoyant sun rays travel directly into the brunette’s eyes, though he doesn’t whine in exasperation like many would do as he is surrounded by his most favored people.

Ecstatic is how he feels around people he loves, and Mark absolutely adores his friends. Those six people- whom he labels as ‘idiots’- aid him to hold onto an endless amount of belligerent days, especially at school.

Even though Mark isn’t exactly the best with words and doesn’t prefer to demonstrate verbal affection, the legitimately adorable laugh escaping his lips whenever he’s around them is enough to let everyone acknowledge the amount of adoration he holds for the six boys.

“Are there two butts or one butt?” He hears Donghyuck question, who has an over dramatically serious expression accompanied with lips shaped in a pout pressed on his face.

“One butt Dongfuck, one butt.” Renjun is the one to respond between gritted teeth and heavy breath, thoroughly devastated with the unnecessary discussions Donghyuck never seems to leave alone.

“There’s two! They’re separate!” Chenle exclaims in an avoidably resounding manner, causing a couple heads to involuntarily shoot towards their direction in inquisitiveness; silently judging the group of boys.

“Why are we having this conversation again?” Jeno states, wrapping his arm around Jisung’s shoulder who happens to nod, displaying agreement in the older’s words.

“Ask Dongtruck.” Renjun says, raising his arms upwards in defence.

“Yeah ask Dongtruck- wait what?” Donghyuck continues, then widens his eyes at the realization; turning his head towards Renjun as his jaw commences to part.

“I’m selling a Dingdong for free, contact me for details!” Chenle screechs, throwing his hands towards the air as the boys surrounding his figure stare at him in incredulity. Many people’s attention switch onto the group of boys again, allowing them- except Chenle- to give reactions out of embarrassment.

“When will you learn to like, shut the fuck up?” Renjun silently shouts at Chenle’s face in exasperation, biting his bottom lip as he runs his hand in between his hair.

“We’re supposed to bully Yuckie here, not me! Gosh, what a traitor.” Chenle responds, letting a dramatic sigh escape his lips, poking his tongue inside his cheek.

“If only you used the creativity you use for Hyuck’s nicknames for pragmatic reasons.” Jeno states, shaking his head.

“How do you even know what pragmatic means?” Mark questions- more to himself- in a lower tone, glancing at Jeno.

“I’m not Renjun, Mark.” Jeno replies, patting Mark’s back as Mark nods at his friend’s words.

The moment Mark Lee turns his head towards the side, his eyes witness a smile; looking dazzling as ever. The sight of you standing exquisite, the most guilelessly enticing expression sitting delicately on your features is enough to cast anyone under your spell.

Your friend says something, you laugh again. Your eyes meet as you involuntarily turn your head towards his direction. Mark’s breath gets caught in his throat, thoroughly overwhelmed. You send him a wave, then boom.

Spark.

Mark Lee bewitches under your spell.

13.11.2016

I see rainbows when i think of us

First Date

First dates are cute, adorably delighting. Kind of awkward. But that’s fine, because it’s delirious. Maybe not euphoric, but definitely a form of ecstasy.

A new experience, a new person. Something contrasting, something exciting.

It’s not the transcendence that makes it appealing, because no first date is perfect. It’s the imperfection, the sheepish smiles shared throughout the day, the embarrassing-feeling sentences that appear cuter than embarrassing.

Maybe the occasion is cliché, maybe it’s not worth enough to be included in a million-selling novel. But the experience is worth it. A simple exchange of ice cream flavors, simple exchanges of words as you amble around a keenly alive park. Cliché, but new. Cliché, but delighting.

Things are a bit less expected in Mark’s case.

The arid leaves fall as a gospel choir, harmonized in such a way that celebrates each hue and shows how they complete each other. The fallen leaves create an alluring pathway as you amble exquisite with Mark besides your figure, hand in hand.

“I think i’m seeing rainbows.” You state breathily, head falling on top of Mark’s shoulder; coming in contact with the soft fabric of his maroon jacket.

“Where? It’s dark though, i don’t think that’s possible,” Mark responds, his eyes scanning through the sky involuntarily as he takes your words legitimately.

“It didn’t rain, it’s not sunny either.” He continues on analyzing his surroundings, not exactly sure of what you meant with the words you had previously put together.

“You make me see rainbows.” You smile, astonished at his oblivious nature.

“How do i do that?” He asks, eyes slightly wide as his lips unintentionally form a small pout.

“I was trying to be poetic, Mark. I know it was bad, you could've just gone along with it.” You let out a playful scoff, the small yet absolute smile continuing its appearance on your lips.

“No no it wasn't bad, i just-” He rambles.

“Oh my god, i’m joking. Calm down, i was just trying to say how you made me happy.” You let out a full hearted laugh this time, clearly amused.

“Oh…” Is all that Mark lets out at the realization, head turning towards the side in embarrassment as his heart skips a beat.

Cute, you think to yourself.

And yes, Mark Lee is indeed an adorable boy who enchants you in even more bewitching experiences.

01.02.201

I love the way I light up when you call me

Your feet play with the treacherously empty and dry looking sand while concentrating on the undulating sound of the shallow turquoise ocean. The majestic ocean seems to be wrapped in a darker color, which could easily be blamed on the endless darkness of the sky caused by the time being nearly five in the morning.

Your head lays on Mark’s shoulder while the jacket he had given you minutes prior- insisting that you were shivering- sits on your shoulders. He holds your body close to his own, feeling an- what he labels as- unreasonable urge to protect you from anything that could occur.

You sit there, a serene feeling captivating you as you listen to each other's alleviating breaths and heartbeats. You throw small sets of words here and there to create some type of a conversation, delighting in the consolatory atmosphere.

"Your heart is beating so fast." You softly speak in incredulity, eyes slightly wide at the unanticipated moment.

Mark widens his eyes, a sheepish smile commencing to play on his lips. He starts mumbling and stuttering as he tries to put together meaningful words, though they don’t make any sense to say the least.

“Mine is beating fast too, if that makes you feel better.” You don’t know where the sudden confidence comes from, yet you keep on staring right into his sparkling orbs with your own; the most ravishing smile sitting buoyantly on your lips.

Mark muttres out a few “Oh”s before lazing his visibly tensed body, slowly melting in your arms as you pull his body even closer to your own.

As the sun begins to rise, a song along with a valse melody commences to play out of the speakers Mark had brought. You softly grab the brunette’s hand, taking it into your own; signaling him to dance with a playful smile on your face.

Mark lifts himself upwards as the sheepish smile from earlier commences to display its appearance back on his features. He uses some help from your hand as he lets out a nervous chuckle, youthful hysteria running through his body.

The two of you sway your bodies according to the mellifluous melody rhyming behind. You recline your head on Mark’s chest, getting into a more comfortable position.

"You're beautiful." Mark’s graceful sounding whisper is heard clearly in your right ear after finally gathering up the courage to state a compliment, causing the smile on your lips to grow uncontrollably.

Before leaning in, you go through a whole debate about whether to kiss him or not inside your head. Finally, you lean in; mixing both of your uniquely ambrosial scents as you catch his lips in between your own.

Although the kiss isn’t exactly perfect, the experience is.

“Be my girlfriend?” Mark asks in a whisper as he uses his right hand to keep your chin up, staring right inside your eyes fervently.

“Yeah.” You whisper back with a heavy breath, not able to control the smile growing on your lips.

The newly rising sun accompanies your bodies as you try to move your lips against each other’s in the middle of a beach. Youthful giggles get thrown around as you share your first kiss, a feeling unfamiliarly intriguing enchanting you.

Maybe, maybe you had a future with Mark. Maybe he was someone who would be there for you during your worst nightmares, a shoulder to cry on after calamitous fights, a soul to share your overwhelming ecstasy with.

Though, you don't know that just yet. You never know what the future holds for you. So you completely give your all to him, living through each second of one of the many euphoric moments you share.

Mayhaps this is the beginning of a new journey...

14.03.2017

I lose my mind when you whisper sweet nothings

Gratuitously, Mark guides your body towards his bedroom; hands all over each other’s bodies as giggles out of hysteria escape your lips. You run your hands through his brown locks, plunking them eagerly as your already plumped lips messily move against each other’s.

Mark lets out another breathy giggle as your noses brush, your hands traveling on his body. Your hands find their way towards the hem of his shirt, fingers fiddling with it; contemplating on whether to take it off or not.

Mark gives you a short nod, displaying approval within his actions as he sends you an adorable smile. You glance upwards to steal a glance from his features, only to get lost inside his doe orbs; sparkling in youthful enthusiasm.

He pushes your body onto his bed, trying to be as meticulous as he could. He helps you slide his shirt off as the kiss gets even messier. After unintentionally biting his bottom lip, you mutter out multiple apologies as Mark assures you; running his hands through your hair soothingly.

He pulls your body onto his lap, blushing when he sees your eyes glued onto his upper body. Your eyes meet when you move your head, both shying away at the shared stare. You land him a kiss, on his cheek instead of his lips. Giggles continuously flow through both of your lips as you keep on planting kisses on his cheeks.

Your lips land on his nose on accident when attempting to shower him in sweet cheek kisses, allowing another giggle out of timidity to be shared.

“I love you, like a lot.” Mark whispers admiringly, the adorably sheepish smile never washing away from his lips as the first ever “I love you” effortlessly falls out. You involuntarily smile at the statement, melting into his honeyed words.

“I love you too.” You whisper back, exchanging the specific three words for the first time.

You spend your night blissfully, not precisely knowing what you are doing. Yet you sure are delightful inside Mark’s tight embrace, heart clenching inside your chest at every amiable touch.

23.05.2017

You’re my favorite mistake

“Mark,” You speak out, fidgeting on his bed uncomfortably as your fingers fiddle with the hem of your skirt.

“Yes, baby?” Mark replies; not exactly paying the most attention as his eyes stay still on the laptop seated on his desk, trying to get an essay done.

“Love, are you okay?” He questions when you don’t respond, diverting is doe orbs towards your direction.

“I’m leaving,” You say as your teeth immediately find their way towards your bottom lip, biting and peeling the skin off in apprehension.

“For university, i’m moving.” You continue, explaining yourself when he doesn’t display any type of reaction.

Mark finally lets out a small yet heavy “When” as his lips part, staring at you dispiritedly.

“This sunday.” You reply faintly after a pause.

“And you decide to tell me about it now? Three days before you leave?” Mark’s eyes go wide as his voice raises, visibly accustomed.

“Calm down.” You attempt to calm him down, though it doesn’t exactly work as he shouts even louder each time he parts his lips.

“Do you even care about my feelings?” Mark clamors.

“Mark, what are you saying?” You ask in incredulity, aching to believe you didn’t hear him accurately.

“Look Y/n, I support whatever you do. But not when you tell me right before it happens!” He continues as a scoff out of mockery follows his words.

“I’m sorry i just-” You start rambling, not having an idea on how to ease his emotions.

“A sorry doesn’t fix everything!” He extends, not allowing you to speak.

“I know-”

“Good that you know! I hope you don’t make the same mistake next time with someone else.”

“Someone else? Mark, are you seriously breaking up with me over this?” You ask as a feeling of overwhelming incredulity captures you. His words allow your eyes to widen as your lips part afterwards.

“What’s there to not break up over, Y/n? How do you expect to continue this once you’re away?” He shouts again, making you pause.

“Okay, i wish you the best.” You state with a shaky voice as tears commence to gliss up inside your eyes, causing them to look glossy. You try your best to not blink, holding your tears in.

You can’t cry. No, you can’t cry in front of him.

So you get up and leave.

You are still young.

Not everything lasts, not everything is meant to last.

Each moment is worth living without allowing a knot to form inside your stomach in worry. Experiences have reasons, purposes. So do you, you have a purpose. Cry your heart out after agonizing fights, laugh in delight with all you’ve got; enchanted in an overwhelming euphoria.

You are shaped by awkward encounters, innocently sheepish grins, pernicious altercations, anguished tears. Mistakes you make at eighteen become experiences you thank at thirty.

Sugary moments come to an end, so do the bitter ones. Nothing is permanent, nothing is promised. You can’t live with worry, you can’t live in pain.

Life is short, short enough for you to give each moment a chance. Short enough to feel everything, to live and not just exist.

Somewhere out there, there’s someone for you. Someone willing to cherish all your imperfections, someone willing to shower you in love as immense adoration dances in their sparkling orbs.

Love...love is alluring, fascinating, breathtakingly dazzling. There’s so much to explore within love, so much to explore within a person. New euphoric moments to be shared, new eyes to get lost in, new hearts to beat together.

Love with all you have, give people every ounce of what they deserve without worrying about the ending. Every moment comes to an end. Every kiss has a final share, every breakdown has a final tear.

There is a beginning to each journey, there’s also an ending to those journeys. No time is worth spending cooped up in your room with tears drenching on your features, no time is worth contemplating on whether or not to do something in worry.

Although this is an anguished ending to the previous chapter, it’s a sugary euphoric beginning for another one...

#neowritingsnet #kpopscape #ultkpop #nct-writers #czennet #mark lee scenarios #nct mark lee #mark lee nct #lee mark nct #lee mark scenarios #mark lee fanfic #lee mark fanfic #nct scenarios #nct mark fanfic #nct mark lee fanfic

137 notes · View notes

mrslackles · 3 years

Note

what do you think are gg's biggest flaws?

Ooh, Anon! It’s like you’re in my head.

I’m busy making a video (that will probably never see the light of day) about this -- my distance from the show has really helped with some super objective clarity -- so I’ll use my notes from that to help me answer.

I’ll preface this by saying what I was most shocked by after putting down all the points was that Rio isn’t even mentioned until really far down??

Anyway, let's get into it.

These are Good Girls' greatest flaws in my opinion (and relative to season 1 -- while I think it had its flaws too, the list is far smaller and I think that's a separate post)

1. It didn't stick to its guns

What set this show apart from others in the 'Everyday person does crime (poorly)' genre was its comedic lightness, strong friendship element, relatability and emphasis on girl power.

a) By season 2, the lightness was already slowly disappearing to make way for season 3's darkness. (Quite literally; this show said sunlight scenes for WHO.) It also stopped being as fun. Remember how it genuinely used to be fun? I mean let's not forget The Best Scene Ever where Ruby shoots Big Mike by accident and we all laughed our asses off. (Compare and contrast to a similar-in-tone-and-context scene -- or even the whole episode -- like Boomer popping up behind them as Rio's package in season 3.) I think season 3 had some great lines and laughs, but in general, the fun element was completely missing for me.

b) As was the friendship. We already know Annie and Ruby basically became Beth's backup dancers in season 2, but at least then they still seemed to have some type of agency. In season 3, they rarely question Beth's (truly questionable) decisions, don't talk to her about shit like why she's still with her horrible husband and have very few true friendship moments as they did in season 1.

c) Which made it less relatable, but what also contributed was the major plot holes (it's less easy to relate when you're constantly having to remind yourself to suspend your disbelief). And, to be honest, their stupid actions. Just the most common-sense things weren't followed, like not taking your children to a crack den or not putting a hit out on a gang leader. It's frustrating watching a TV show -- where characters are supposed to learn things, have arcs and improve over time -- and feeling like you have more logical sense than all the main characters in every scene. (WHO would think a hitman was going to use a sniper rifle on people in broad daylight on the side of the road???)

d) You don't have to look any further than the title or the stans who shout "THE SHOW IS ABOUT THE GIRLS" -- or, hell, the first 10 seconds of the show where Sara is literally talking about the glass ceiling -- to know that the main characters being women is very important to the show. If not formally feminist, it was at least supposed to be empowering or feel like "girl power" (a term I hate, but we won't get into that now).

And I think it did it pretty well in season 1 -- it actually played on my favourite theme of the show, which is the world's perception of these women being what ultimately allows them to get away with so much. (Rife with opportunities for commentary about white privilege, but also a genius way to upend patriarchal beliefs.) But more and more it seemed like the show was asking you to accept empowerment as simply "these things are being done by women, yay".

And, well.

2. Its marketing

I'll keep this one short because I think we all know how messed up this situation is. Basically they're selling a show (every week!) that they're not making while ignoring all feedback on every social media platform. Which brings us to...

3. The marriage of Death

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times -- Beth's character development starts with getting rid of Dean. Her growth is stunted by him on multiple fronts and it's frustrating to viewers since she's constantly put forth as the main character. Not to mention how the audience, separately from Beth, was originally conditioned to see Dean as the scum of the earth (think of scenes like him crashing his car because he was perving on a woman jogging) so keeping them together is really... a choice. To actively root for this marriage (which seems like what the show wants, at least for the protracted moment) means either thinking Dean is a great person (which, as I said, we've only seen the opposite of) or believing he's all Beth deserves. Which leads me to...

4. Beth's (socio)path(y)

Is sociopath a 'good' word? Probably not. Have I seen dozens upon dozens of posts talking about whether Beth is one? Yes. And I see it from a huge variety of people -- from viewers who just binged the show last weekend to those who've been watching for years, the question keeps coming up. And I entirely blame the writing of the show that, by the way, I don't believe is deliberately creating Beth to get this reaction. I think she's written (and, to an extent, acted) in a way that is much too aloof and I'm not convinced it's meant to come off as cold and unfeeling as it does. Everything else leads me to believe that the audience is supposed to root for Beth, but it's just so difficult.

Beth does a lot of messed up shit that requires dialogue to sympathise with her and the inner workings of her mind, but in the later seasons Beth rarely gets to express herself verbally. And every time she does get to speak about her emotions, the dialogue is a pick-your-own-adventure between "She's in so much denial", "This person feels no emotions" and "I'll go find an analysis/fic later to explain this" (scenes like "Nothing" or "I was just bored"). Compare and contrast with some of the great scenes in season 1 where she emotes, like her paralysing shock after they first rob the store or admitting she enjoys crime, or (one of my favourites!) the one in the park where she's mimicking the other mothers beside her.

5. Brio

I said in the beginning that I was shocked Rio doesn't get mentioned until this point and that's because I've always felt like he was an integral part of the show. When people say the show is about the girls, they're truncating -- the show is about the girls getting into crime. That crime is represented by Rio over and over again -- they never bring in another criminal at his level (which is another one of its flaws, but that's also a different post); Rio is it.

And though I stand by Rio's importance, the truth is that Brio isn't as essential to the show, by which I mean that if all of the above were done well, it wouldn't be as sorely missed. In lieu of riveting plot, a fun friendship, character development and empowerment, most viewers have glommed onto Brio like a lifeboat (or ship, heh).

Unfortunately it's also what the show has most stubbornly refused to develop significantly.

It's honestly a toss-up for why I feel Brio is a flaw: is the flaw that they got together? That they never got together well enough? That the writing keeps bringing in these 'chemistry-filled' scenes that are ultimately filled with air?

I don't know. Maybe all of them; maybe just one, depending on the day.

6. Its criticism falls flat without intersectionality

This is a big one because Good Girls is *trying* to do something very clever. As mentioned previously, my favourite theme of the show is how the women's apparent innocence/vulnerability in the eyes of society is their biggest strength. The show plays with this and other interesting themes with varying levels of success, but ultimately they all fall a little flat when they don't feel intersectional.

When Ruby gets sidelined. When Turner, who sees and all but calls out by name Beth's privilege, is portrayed as the villain. When Rio is told he's gonna "pop a cap" in his young child's "ass". When the racist grandma becomes a sympathetic character whom we must later grieve. (And she really didn't have to be racist, now that I think about it? It was just that one line for laughs and that was it.) When, despite the real-world implications, Dean can loudly announce in a store that he's buying a gun to kill someone with and the show just glides past it. When Ruby has to grovel for forgiveness from Beth for trying to protect her husband and family from the system, with no acknowledgement from Beth about how their realities are different. When Rhea gets booted off the show as soon as she's done serving Beth's plot. When Rio gets treated like a prostitute for absolutely no reason. (Oh, and is accused of raping Beth and is literally spoken of as an animal and starts only existing in zero dim lighting as a one-dimensional stereotype... the list goes on.)

7. PR/The actors

I'll risk my life here to sprinkle this in because I do think it's a massive problem. The Manny/Christina of it all is just the tip of the iceberg (although wtf Good Girls? There's nothing you could do to get these two into an interview together??). The main actors do the bare minimum to promote the show and it's weird. I also think it's the height of unprofessionalism to keep characters on the show against the wishes of the majority of the audience just because you enjoy their actors (Boomer confirmed; Dean highly suspected). While, on the flip side of the coin, limiting a character's screentime because you aren't best buddies with them. Having less and less Rio when he's such a fan favourite is dumb; as is not including him in any series marketing material. It feels personal and that isn't how a TV show should be run.

8. The entire hair and wardrobe department needs a stern talking-to

85 notes · View notes

nicknellie · 3 years

Text

Anonymous requested: a Juke one shot based on the song 'Lets fall in love for the night' by Finneas

I’d never heard this song before, but I was seriously excited to write from it when I listened. And Juke is absolutely perfect for it too! This is the first time I’ve written Juke in a while and I’m so happy with how it turned out, thank you for your request!

I Know Better

You need a pick me up?

I’ll be there in twenty-five,

I like to push my luck,

So take my hand, let’s take a drive.

I’ve been living in the future,

Hopin’ I might see you sooner,

I want you, riding shotgun,

I knew when I got one right.

It was a lazy late night when Luke got the text through from Julie. He hadn’t been up to much, just picking at his guitar, trying to figure out a new melody but coming up blank. Bored out of his mind, he had been desperate for something to do, somewhere to go, someone to talk to. Perhaps he had been hoping for something just like this, a message from the girl who made his heart soar very much against his will, asking to see him.

She had asked to be picked up from work – apparently she’d had a very long day and just needed someone to talk to about something that wasn’t work. This happened a lot, Luke thought with a grin as he put his guitar away and headed to his car. Julie would ask him to see her after work, say she didn’t want to talk about it, and then talk about it for at least an hour before they even thought about mentioning anything else.

He didn’t mind. He would have listened to anything as long as Julie was the one saying it.

He clambered into his car and set off, muscle memory guiding him to the office block Julie worked at. It was supposed to be a half-hour-long drive at least, and even that was only in good traffic, but Luke was determined to get there quickly. He couldn’t have denied that Julie had been on his mind all day – like she always was – and for that reason he couldn’t wait to see her.

So maybe he ran a red light or two. Maybe he cut a few corners. Maybe he did some not-so-sensible things that were maybe not-so-safe, but it was just to get to Julie as fast as he could. The thought of her made him reckless, clouded his judgement, gave him the ability to do anything.

It was lucky it was such a late hour and there was hardly anyone else on the roads, otherwise Luke was certain he wouldn’t have got to Julie as quickly as he did.

As it happened, he managed to shave five minutes off the journey, arriving outside the building in about twenty minutes. He could see Julie sat on the front steps of the building, all the lights turned off inside so she was only lit by a nearby streetlamp and the light from her phone. She was wrapped up in a thick coat, her hair spilling out over her shoulders in that way Luke thought was more beautiful than anything else. In his head, he knew he could have just texted her to say he was there, or waited for her to notice him herself seeing as his was the only car around, but instead he opened the door and climbed out, heading straight for her.

Julie only looked up from her phone when Luke was just a few paces away. The way she smiled at him – small, sweet, soft, breathtakingly beautiful – melted Luke’s heart right then and there. It was almost difficult to maintain his appearance of cool and casual when she looked at him like that, but he forced himself to keep it up.

“Hey,” he said, grinning down at her.

“Hi,” she returned, still smiling that cute little smile. “Thanks for coming to pick me up.”

“Anytime,” Luke said, waving a dismissive hand. “You know that.”

He extended a hand to her, holding it out like a gift, an offering. A prayer.

Take my hand, Julie, take it and never let go.

“Do you want to come back to my place?” he asked. There was an unspoken ‘or I could take you straight home’ but Luke didn’t want to put the idea of leaving him in her head.

But that worry was silenced as soon as it reared its ugly head because Julie slipped her hand into his and hoisted herself up. Her fingers were much smaller than his, long and delicate, a pianist’s hands. A small part of him wanted to do nothing more than just stand here with Julie, hand in hand, nothing else between them but the silence of the late hour.

He tore himself away from the thought, but not from Julie. Hands still linked between them, they headed back to Luke’s car, charged silence drifting over them.

There were times that Julie didn’t feel real to Luke. The whole concept of a person like her was too perfect to ever truly exist. What were the chances that one person could have so much talent, charm, intelligence, wit, care, love, humour, beauty, sense of adventure, trust, loyalty, and the thousands of other qualities that Julie possessed? What were the chances a person could so easily embody everything good in the world?

At times like that, he was glad he got to hold her hand. Prove that she was really here.

He had been thinking of her all day. Wanting to see her, wanting to hold her, to sing with her, to talk to her, just to be in her presence. He had briefly entertained the thought of actually doing something with Julie, going somewhere together or doing something – anything – more than just talking like they usually did. But he’d soon realised that just talking to Julie was as good as anything could ever get.

His wandering mind hadn’t stopped there thought. Regretfully, he had thought about the future. Whether he and Julie had any chance of one. Luke didn’t often think further ahead than twenty-four hours, but when it came to Julie he wanted to plan his entire life around her. He wanted to be with her forever, and when he thought about it that was all he wanted. Just to be with Julie.

When he thought about the future, she was all he saw.

Together, they got back in Luke’s car, Luke behind the steering wheel and Julie riding shotgun next to him. They had let go of each other’s hands, but Luke reached across of gently squeezed her hand one last time before resting his hands on the wheel and starting the car. His heart was beating faster than he’d ever thought possible, thrumming with some thrilled and exhilarated energy which he was sure was the only thing keeping him alive at that moment.

Whatever it was, it was coming from Julie, and he knew then that he needed her to survive. Right by her side was exactly where he belonged.

I love it when you talk that nerdy shit,

We’re in our twenties talking thirties shit,

We’re making money but we’re saving it,

‘Cause talking shit is cheap and we talk a lot of it.

You won’t stay with me, I know,

But you can have your way with me until you go,

And before your kisses turn into bruises, I’m a warning.

Like normal, they ended up in Luke’s apartment. It had been their same old routine – consider going out for a drink (coffee, at Julie’s insistence, because she had work in the morning and didn’t want to get drunk), realise there was nowhere open that wasn’t a bar, so head back to Luke’s place and use his coffee machine before inevitably ending up like this: sprawled across each other on Luke’s bed, too close to be friendly.

Luke was lying on his back, one leg arched, one hand underneath his head. Julie lay across him, her head rested on his abdomen, her hair tickling his bare skin where his top had ridden up an inch or so. One of her legs was hanging off the bed, the other tucked under it in a way that looked uncomfortable but must have worked for Julie. Luke had her hand in his, toying with her dainty little fingers, running his fingertips across the palm of her hand every now and then and delighting at the way it made her shiver. Both were staring up at the ceiling, not at each other.

As he had predicted, Julie was talking about work although she had said she didn’t want to. Truthfully, Luke didn’t really know what Julie did for a living, only that it involved ‘algorithms and science stuff’ and it seemed dreadfully boring. She clearly loved her job, as much as she complained about the hours, but Luke knew it wasn’t what she wanted to do forever. Still, listening to her talk about whatever equation she’d used that day or whatever machine she was helping create brought a smile to Luke’s face that nothing else could have summoned.

Because Julie was a girl made of passion and talent and beauty and love. And right that moment, her passion was burning like the brightest star in the sky, and Luke couldn’t make himself look away.

“It’s only temporary though,” Julie said eventually. “I won’t be there forever. It pays well enough for me to save for a bigger apartment – maybe a house if I’m lucky, or if I stay there long enough. When I’ve got the time and the space and the money, I’m going to do music. Properly, I mean, not just open mic night down at Eats and Beats. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do, it’s my only real goal. Get a house, get a record deal, get my dream life. However long it takes, whatever I have to do to get there.”

“You’ll find that happiness,” Luke assured her. “If anyone can do it, you can.”

Julie hummed a laugh and instinctively curled her fingers around Luke’s where they were still rested on his palm. If Luke stopped breathing for a moment, did nothing but gaze and smile in awe at the way Julie so naturally held on to him, Julie either didn’t notice or didn’t mention it.

“What about you?” she asked quietly.

“Music,” Luke said, not missing a beat. “Same as you. I might only be busking and doing open mic nights now, but if I save all the money I make from that eventually I’ll have enough to buy some really good equipment, hopefully hire a manager, really get myself started. I know it’s not gonna be easy, but…”

“But it’s all you’ve ever dreamed of,” Julie finished for him. He felt her nod. “It’s the same for me.”

Teasingly, Luke said, “Hey, if we have the same dream why not follow it together? We could start a band.”

Julie laughed – Luke felt his heart flutter at the sound. She rolled her head to the side to face him, so Luke lifted his head a little so he could actually look her in the eye.

“You and me?” Julie said. “Starting a band?”

“It could be fun,” Luke chuckled with a shrug. He was only half-joking; if he got to chase his music dream with Julie then it would basically be like chasing two dreams at once. “We’re both talented. We could make something really special.”

She laughed again, quieter this time, something solemn about it. Luke wondered if maybe she was really considering it too.

But there was a little voice in the back of his head, something bitter that he thought might have resembled brutal honesty. Julie was too perfect to ever stay with him, in any sense of the word. She deserved someone better, someone who matched her untouchable flawlessness, someone who could really give her everything she needed. Luke didn’t think for a moment that could be him. Besides, someone like Julie would never settle for him.

And yet, when she looked at him like that, brown eyes wide and deep and sparkling, full of their own private universes, seeing Luke at that moment and nothing else, it was hard for him to convince himself that they weren’t made for each other.

It could never last, he reminded himself. He would never be able to keep something he wanted so desperately.

Instead of replying to him, Julie shifted her weight, rolling over so that her arms were crossed over Luke’s chest and her body was half on top of his. Still he looked her in the eye – he never wanted to look anywhere else.

But when she leaned down to kiss him in a way that felt forbidden but mind-blowingly right, he couldn’t help but close his eyes and melt.

It wasn’t every day that Julie Molina would kiss him. He wouldn’t pass up the opportunity.

Let’s fall in love for the night,

And forget in the mornin’.

Play me a song that you like,

You can bet I’ll know every line.

I’m the boy that your boy hoped that you would avoid,

Don’t waste your eyes on jealous guys, fuck that noise.

I know better than to call you mine.

The sun was rising, an amber glow mingled with red and peach and the tiniest tint of blue, peeking through Luke’s thin curtains, but he and Julie hadn’t even slept. They were awake, but admittedly tired, running only on the adrenaline that came from being in one another’s company.

They were still sat on his bed, cross-legged across from each other, Luke with his acoustic guitar in hand. Julie had asked if he had been working on any new songs recently, and who was he to refuse the most gorgeous girl in the world a solo performance? He was picking out a melody he had thought up a few days ago, one that he could get out of his head for some unknown reason. It was only notes so far – he hadn’t had the time to pull any lyrics to it – but it was still a slow, soft melody that made him feel so relaxed that he almost felt as if he’d left reality behind.

All that was pulling him back down to Earth was Julie because she was proving yet again that she was some sort of miracle. When Luke started playing, she had nodded her head, swayed a little, just enjoyed the music. But a few bars in, she had started humming along.

When Luke hit the chorus, Julie sang.

It should have been impossible. Julie had never heard the song before, and even if she had it wasn’t like there were lyrics she could have followed. But somehow she was doing it, pulling the perfect words from nowhere and fitting them to Luke’s melody with ease, like she’d sung this very song a thousand times before. Somehow, she pre-empted every rhythm, every note, every ascending pattern and every dropping dynamic and matched him effortlessly. When Luke instinctively began humming a harmony to her voice, she took it in her stride and reached for notes Luke hadn’t known anyone was capable of hitting.

When Luke hit the last chord, Julie sang a breath-taking, elegant descending run, her eyes closed, a gentle smile playing about her lips.

Not for the first time, he wondered how Julie was even real.

But then a wholly unwelcome thought came to his mind. Julie had a guy. Kind of. Not really. There was someone very interested in Julie (someone other than Luke) who she told him about sometimes. From what Luke knew, he brought her flowers sometimes, he paid her compliments, he texted her almost as much as Luke did. Julie refused to say she was dating him and Luke believed her, but the problem was that this guy clearly wanted to date Julie.

Luke wasn’t jealous. He and Julie weren’t dating and he just wanted to her be happy, so if it turned out that this guy made her happier than Luke did, he would go with it. For Julie, he would go with it.

But he also knew, since Julie had told him herself, that this guy had something against Luke.

Luke had to wonder whether he saw him as a threat.

This guy, it seemed, was jealous. He wanted Julie to himself, which really wasn’t fair on the rest of the world. Julie didn’t deserve to be kept in a box, locked away for just one guy to look at, especially a guy who would get mad when anyone else tried to look at her.

Luke didn’t want that for her.

“Julie,” he said quietly. “You deserve someone amazing. Someone as incredible as you are. They’ll love you no matter what, they’ll trust you, they’ll… they’ll really care about you. That’s what you deserve in life. Along with everything else you could ever want. And I hope you get it.”

She was silent for a moment, an unreadable expression on her face which would have been totally blank if it weren’t for the twitch of her lips and the light in her eyes. Luke wondered, suddenly panicked, if he’d been too obvious about how he felt about her. But thankfully, she just smiled that sweet smile and said, “Thank you, Luke.”

He thought his heart might explode just from those three words.

He thought it even more so when Julie leaned forward and their lips brushed yet again and he realised he was going to get to kiss her again so maybe, just maybe–

The alarm on his phone went off and snapped their moment in two.

Julie sighed heavily and pulled away. Luke immediately missed her warmth.

“This was fun, Luke,” she said, already standing up and stretching. “Really. I love being here with you. But I have work. I need to get going.”

Luke swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn’t think of anything worse than Julie leaving right then. But he didn’t tell her that. He told her, “It’s fine, you go. You’ve got to chase those dreams of yours somehow.”

Neither of them said goodbye. They just shared a bittersweet smile and Julie left his apartment.

Luke let her, watching out of his bedroom window as she walked further and further away from him down the street. He wanted to chase her, his dream, but he didn’t.

After all, he knew better than to ever call her his.

#this is more angsty than i intended and for that i am not sorry #jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #juke #jukebox #julie x luke #luke x julie #julie molina #luke patterson #jatp fic #juke fic #songfic #finneas #request #writing #my writing #friends to lovers #(but only kind of)

24 notes · View notes