#IGNORE ME NEVER SHUTTING UP HERE but
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!)
To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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does anyone else get that sinking feeling when a friend gets really into something you absolutely adore/have been hyperfixating on, but when you mentioned it, they ignored it (and kinda just ignore you unless and will talk over you to talk to their actual friends to the point where you're not even sure if y'all are friends or just acquaintances) and now they're really liking it and you just. want to gatekeep it bc that interest was (and is!) important to you...
or am i just being childish lol
#shut up k#forever frustrated with how people will act like they're in a clique online too#it's even more annoying when no one was mean necessarily#just kinda snubbing that same interest#and now you're like oh this is v interesting#this is about a twt only oomf btw not anyone here#or anyone on here and twt#but i'm just kinda annoyed bc like. link click was my thing#and i was so ready to share#but when i was you just straight up launched into talking over me to your other friend#it's the first time i've felt too old for that kind of drama#and you're both older than me so this really shouldn't be happening#but anyway i watched all of your favorites first and was excited about all of them to you first#and you ignored them all only to turn around and scream about them to your bsf three days later#which is cool#this is a rant i'm aware i sound childish i'm majorly stressed over an orgo final and this was my final straw#but it's also a pattern#idk the most childish part is wishing you never got into lc#bc now it's not just you ignoring me to talk about it#it's you AND your bsf#which is totally cool#i'm v cool with this#y'all are freaking 23 and i just barely turned 20 and this feels so middle school ugh
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i fell asleep in the middle of answering an ask and like.. i think that's my cue to go to bed :')
#im not ignoring anyone#it's just.. the last few weeks have been hell and i barely get to breathe and to be here even less#my body and mind are exhausted#apologies y'all#i love you#please never let this stop you from sending stuff.. keep the love coming bc it keeps me sane these days#and comforts me so much <3 christmas break soon so ill be here more too#anyway nobody asked shut up rid JFHSHD#good night 🤍
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Admittedly I don't know much about the Israel Palestine war but I keep seeing news articles that refer to it as the Israel Hamas war and no it is not. After all Israel has done it gets to be referred to by it's country name and not "terrorists who kill babies and children at the speed of light" but Palestine gets reduced to Hamas?
It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth that the struggle of the Palestinian people keeps getting reduced to the existence of Hamas, but at no point does the ongoing state violence of Israel define its existence when by all means it should when my understanding is that the creation of Israel was stealing land from Palestinians. Why is Israel's violence ignored while Palestine is defined by the admittedly shit group that only arose out of decades of occupation and imperialism? Those two things are not the same and ignoring Israel's violence to act like Hamas came from nowhere just to hurt the poor Israeli government who acts like they've done nothing wrong is ridiculous to me.
#winters ramblings#a Palestinian coworker gave me some emails to send off things to so ill be doing that later#but like it just BUGS me when people will over focus on the REACTION to state violence and never ONCE bring up state violence#AS violence at all. also what israel is doing reminds me a LOOOOOT of what canada has done to your indigenous populations#so yes hamas suck ive seen some shit but heres the deal. im not as concerned about how much HAMAS sucks#when the EXISTENCE of hanas is the result if DECADES of ISRAEL'S state violence. what were Palestinians meant to DO??#just allow their homes to be stolen their people to be killed and their resources extracted with NO fighting back ever??!?#i dont feel the need to focus on how shitty Hamas is when this reactionary group wouldnt exist without the extreme violence#from israel that RESULTED in a deeply problematic group fighting back against them#you CANNOT step on the necks of a whole nation of people and expect them to do NOTHING#and when what they do is deeply flawed and often hurtful am i supposed to just IGNORE everything that led up to Hamas#by pretending state violence isnt NEARLY as bad as traumatized people fighting back against their oppressors??#like NO- state violence should be FRONT AND CENTER LOOOONG before any reactionary response to that violence#which if you ask me may be a deeply flawed and problematic response but im not expecting the people of an occupied nation#to be giving their best political performance and acting like we SHOULD just SMACKS of respectability politics#shut the FUCK up about Hamas and LOOK at what israel has DONE to the Palestinian people and FREE PALESTINE DAMNIT
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you ever just see a post and just
. 😭
.⬅️🫀⬅️
#Worst emoji combo ever but it’s gon be such big depression hours down here so scroll if you want im on the brink of throwing up#don’t you just bloody love it how over the past 3 years you’ve only seen people the large total of…. 4 times!!! An average of seeing someon#outside of school 1.3 times per year!! What a bloody fantastic way to spend your teenage years!#Don’t you also just love it when people talk right to you about how they all went out together over the weekend and like did some stupid#shit like your average high schooler would do and you’re just like “oh. I went to my 1 and a half hour long dance class and got ignored the#entire time and when you did try to talk they just spoke over you” oh my fucking god I hate that place so much even the teacher fucking#ignores me once we were going in a circle and she was asking everyone what they got for Christmas and I was in the middle of the circle so#thought hey maybe someone will actually acknowledge my existence but she fucking ignored me and went to next person like why the fuck#And now I’m debating staying in that shithole bc I was invited to a gc for that class and I stupidly thought that someone might want me#There. I wasn’t even invited I secretly scanned the qr code to join over someone else’s shoulder#everyone else there is the best of bloody friends and I’m just there talking to one friend who I don’t even think is my friend#“Hey man I’m really fucking sad rn can I talk to you” “womp womp have you heard stupid fact no.3848594 about my ocs while I ignore you when#you talk about anything else about me” oh my god shut up literally no one else sane would see someone like that their closest friend rn#At least someone wants to talk to me#Like what is it that makes people not want to see my please just tell me I’ll change I’m amazing at changing my personality to fit others#promise me on that I’ve done it my entire life#Even just messaging me more than once every year and I’d consider you my best friend this is how bad I’m getting#What is so bloody bad about me that no one else likes I don’t care how badly you fucking word it just something#It shouldn’t be normal to wish death on people you call your mates bc you heard about them all going out together without you#Oh dear did the gc’s without me in it there’s one for every friend group I’ve ever been in why isn’t there one for the main group I’m in rn#Idfc anymore just tell me what I’m doing wrong I keep asking people if they want to go out or how far away they live from some place#And it’s always met with ignoring me talking over me or immediately changing the subject#Please if you’re someone I know irl what the fuck am I doing fucking wrong I can’t fucking do this anymore be as mean as you like#Why the fuck does no one ever want to be around me why do I hear so much about stuff others are doing together but never me#It shouldn’t be normal to prefer being in a toxic relationship than what I’m in rn#I fucking hate everything
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#idk i’ll probably just take an unofficial break#bc that’s basically what i’m doing anyways#idk i’m kinda just popping in and out currently so idk if i wanna just leave for a while again?#idk my last few breaks didn’t really work soo idk 🤷🏻♀️#idk ignore me i’m attention seeking 💁🏻♀️#i don’t think ppl actually care either way tho imao#i’m just bored of everything imao#and i just can’t be bothered with this acc at times#it’s just sitting here and i never use it properly so ehhh#could restart and make a new one but cba bruh#i have like a million accs that i don’t fucking use so there’s no point remaking my main tbh#if i don’t use my sides i keep making i’m not gonna use my main imao#unless someone can convince me of a reason to stay then idk i’m thinking of just disappearing#no im not isolating myself what are you talking about??#not that i even talk to ppl when i’m not isolating myself so it’s all the fuckin same#you’d never know the difference#idk i need to fix my life bc all i do is fucking doomscroll and i’m reallyyyy trying to cut back on that#so therefore a break#but again every time i take a break it’s just not enough? idk#i’m also not using tumblr as a metaphor for something else like what who said that 🙂↔️#anyways whatever#shutting up now 🤐#delete later?
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i cant decide what would be better tbh: either 11089 volunteers to stay behind to keep watch over donna post-memory wipe but they’re still human — even if from far in the future — and get Master-fied with everyone else and have to afterwards deal with the fact that they couldn’t help at all <3 OR. something Horrible happened along their travels with the doctor that means that they don’t really count as human anymore.
#by which i mean i hold every possible version of this OC in my head at once yes but i want to know which version to think about NOW#the deciding factor here is probably whether this is the story where tentoo needs to be memory wiped too#simply because that version involves 11089 carrying a FOB watch around they can never open ever#and it would be awkward if the master just. immediately got a hold of that. very funny tho.#get role reversed idiots#(actually i guess tentoo is human technically so he wouldnt NEED a fob watch for memory wiping but. shut up.#symbolically holding your friend’s stolen life in your hands. because he stole it from himself and asked you to.)#anyway. this is because i was thinking about the ‘you think i left my best friend with no defenses?’ scene which is fantastic but.#what if the ‘defenses’ were one (1) ex-timelord grown out of a hand who doesn’t know who he is and one (1) ex-companion who just hit one of#the masters over the head with a mop#dw oc#lmao ignore me im just rambling. i think theyre a silly little guy.
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ok but seriously if they’re smart they will bring the talamasca in during the night island spin-off. how i personally see this going down is the talamasca wants intel on night island and wants hard evidence but doesn’t want to send in any of their members because of the risk — so who would you turn to when you want to break in somewhere, make away with things of great value, collect information for you, and get out all without getting caught (but if they don’t make it out, it doesn’t matter, because they’re not part of your organization and therefore seem expendable to you)? PROFESSIONAL ART THIEVES!!! i think it would be a really smart way of introducing the organization and getting people amped for what is to come with it while also having the ability to be a one-off piece that is not necessarily integral to understanding the plot of later seasons of iwtv and mw. it could just set up that oooh here’s this sort of shadowy secret organization that has an interest in the supernatural goings-on, but isn’t the main focus of the miniseries (which based on the info we have currently will focus on the thieves themselves)
#idk just my two cents about it!! if the writing room is looking for ideas hey hi hello i’m here and i’ve GOT them baby#and just know if i’m right i will NEVER shut up about it. so.#there#also note: i have not seen the mayfair witches show nor have i read any of the mw books#so if they’ve already introduced talamasca ignore me#but even if they have introduced it already i think it would be cool if the art thieves were hired by talamasca#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#mayfair witches#*mine
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aita drives me insane but i still find myself listening to reading of them on yt,
#this has to be classified as self harm#i don't feel good listening to these#yet here i am#more often then not in a rage or utterly disgusted with peoples behaviors#i just read one on here!!#that one got me big mad#ppl who are cis can just never talk about gender ever please just shut the fuck up#and omg if you don't have bpd#maybe just never talk about it ever if all your going to do is spew harmful stereotypes what the fuck is that matter with you#pls diiieeee#oh#this is my sign i need to get off the internet for a while#i see that now#ignore me#peace ✌
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Pride is supposed to be month of education and of the community’s struggle with oppression, documenting and retelling history for younger ppl learn from, engaging in open dialogue with the silent majority who still dissent, not alienating or ostracizing them, but conversing with the hope that we are to be seen, heard and respected.
I’m kinda damn sick of how commodified my own sexuality has become. Like. It’s a holiday, and once that holiday’s passed the decorations and sentiments are stored away in the attic for the rest of the year. and those who don’t celebrate it (i.e, share the same belief behind it) simply stand aside quietly and tolerate it. Despite what corporations have made it, i’m bi 24/7, not just during June. But the ads and the merchandising are so glaringly loud and disingenuous and off the mark that I can see in the extremely religious conservative circle I live in, that Pride is achieving the opposite of its goal. Every year my family and family friends dread the month, and double down that we’re “pushing an agenda” or “trying to trick people into sin”. It sucks. Companies and brands are tonally deaf with good intentions at best and patronizing at worst.
I’m just complaining into the void. June is almost over and I’ve not once felt comfortable celebrating my own sexuality because the month like. glaringly illuminates it, but never educates ppl about it?? it feels so overbearing and I have to see my family and family friends make more intolerant comments and jokes than usual. Idk. Despite what’s advertised, we (america) aren’t as progressive as we think we are. We’re kinda… going backwards? It’s estranging the ppl who are key to our acceptance— the opposing side lol.
#cel speaks#i’m probably gonna piss someone off bc that’s how these internet things usually go so 🤷🏻♀️#and also i’m glad hollywood/ social media lend us a powerful and large platform. I really am!#but… there’s no attempt to reach others who’re still in disagreement. or extend an olive branch#I get the sentiment of ‘we’re here and we’re queer deal with it’!#that assertiveness was and still is vital but i really wish we could extend an olive branch#instead all the ads and merch I see are just. half assed attempts to pander to us? and ignore like actual deeper issues still prevailing#i think i’m talking in circles now. ima shut up for now lol#i think this all came to a front when I saw that damn bugs bunny pride banner on twitter lmaoooo#i had such mixed emotions… 1 bc Bugs is like. NEVER sincere so writing wise that threw me off lol and 2…#the dialogue was so incredibly vague and vapid. Bugs sounded like he was giving a generic holiday greeting. that’s when it hit me y’know??#like WB cycles thru throwaway lines like ‘happy holidays!’ and now it’s ‘be who you are!’#lmao yeah i fuckin would if i didn’t risk being disowned hfjfjf or risking real world consequences for coming out
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i flipped the mirror selfie because i flip back all my selfies automatically because if i see myself inverted way too often then i think thats how i look like to other people then when i see a group photo from the other pov im hit with like a wave of dysmophia and dysphoria so. yeah i just needed to explain that this is actually how hot i am when you look at me. also i love this red dress i thrifted SO MUCH. best find ever.
#ignore me (don't actually)#it never shuts up#i should really stop posting myself here but i like attention
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#listen i get it. i really really do. because wildfire smoke messes me up really bad#it makes my cough even worse than usual and it sets off my panic response on a slowly building explosion#but like. i've never seen people be more self-absorbed about a wildfire situation than people from new york rn -#(and it does only seem to be new york - none of the other states in that area even though there must be smoke in other places too)#- complaining about the wildfire smoke from canada#i realise it's difficult and awful but to say shit like ''thanks a lot canada'' or ''shout out to canada for ruining my day'' ...#or act like your life is the one most affected by this ... it's just so ignorant idek what to say about it#i promise you the people of quebec and ontario and nova scotia are having a worse time than you rn#i've never seen people act like this about it before it's so weird???#like when we get smoke here in BC from california/oregon/washington or vice versa#i've only ever seen people on either side of the border react with sympathy for what the other side is going through at that time#and horror at how bad the fires or weather are#but i've been seeing or hearing abt posts on every socmed out there from new yorkers complaining about the smoke there#and like i said i get it! trust me i complain about wildfire smoke every year!! it sucks!!#but i don't *blame* the place it's coming from???#idk man to me it's so rude#like just shut up honestly
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I swear by the time I have finished this paper there will be claw marks in my brain matter because I have to forcibly drag it towards and hold it to the document in order to get anything done there's a magnetic force repelling the two things and I am so tired
It's gonne be the shittiest least coherent paper in the history of papers and if I end up having tortured my brain for nothing and not passing the course I don't know how I'll deal with that lol
#Ash's ramblings#There's nothing bad under there don't worry I just need to vent somewhere#and if I text someone about it rather than yell into the tumblr void it'll develop into two-way communication#and I WILL use it to procrastinate#So. Here I am. Ignore this.#It's not even objectivwly a difficult paper I don't think!!#I'm just. Kinda dumb and also did too little for it early on and can't focus enough to know what's going on#This semester is shit tbqh I took more classes than I can handle#(and I'm still not even at the recommended number of classes loool)#And I'm so fucking exhausted at this point#There's at least 2 other classes where I'm worried about not passing just bc I never get around to anything#...actually I worry about like. Every class. But I always do so. Idkkkk#Anyway! Anyway. Shutting up now. Getting back to it. Hopefully.#I'm not sure academia is for me but I don't know what else is for me either and I Really Don't Want To Fail At This Again#I'm trying so fucking hard this time around and I'm. Gonna. Really shut up now before the misery spiral gets out of hand lmao#Ily all
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themis... little guy ......
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i will never shut up abt when 6.2 comes out i am Not sorry#yk glam dresser is like. 400. SOBS i have been 400 full for so long (i like glamour)#i am really excited for the raids esp as a themis liker and a. summoner. ifykyk :] my sckrunklies#idc if that is even correct spelling sobs#also. wnvr i go on twt (or even tumblr tags) ... wow ... xiv artists r on another level#my favorites ^^ i love ffxiv artists with all my heart#ignoring every other artist out there except for my friends /hj#okay anyways . idk what glamour i shld do in ffxiv next (as in cosplay) uhh i did ame watson ......#hm. wtvr. i haven't ate yet so brb WHABHBHGB#also bcs i don't think anyone will read this i will just say anyways that urhgghhgh admittedly i am uhghghghgdh that my . Space ??#is ... idk what. oh right uhhh i have no one to talk abt ffxiv here and ofc my posts are ignored and all. which all makes sense#but ig it makes me a mix of annoyed/spiteful/miserable . maybe i'm exaggerating bcs im just rlly emotional this week but yes hmmmmmmmmm#admittedly liking ffxiv is a huge. thing that contributes in me liking a person. bcs ffxiv is really just that ??#so my two irl best friends i love vv much and my other irl best friend i like a Little less for various reasons. including this#it isn't like. an immature thing but it does say a lot and ffxiv is just really yeah ... but wtvr ig T___T#i think that's also why i'm distancing myself from tumblr (albeit unintentionally ngl) bcs . yeah ??#i can't explain rn i feel uhghghg ............... idk anymore but it's not really a big deal i guess#edit : idk lots of ugh feelings but i blocked genshin tags yay
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might run a railroad spike through my skull.
#shut up niko#having a night :|#I won't rant too much here but it seriously feels like three things#1. all of the work I do is ignored. I work so hard on shit and get nothing in return#2. my life is just disappointment after disappointment#3. I'm not good enough but not in an imposter syndrome way. Like. I try and I try but I won't be good enough to be given the light of day#Yayyyyyyyyy#don't even get me started on the dance drama going down rn. I could RANT#Life's being pretty unjust to me right now and its making me kinda wanna. disappear into the ocean never to be seen again#and naturally this post will be ignored too. so. why am I even bothering#delete later#if anyone's got any words of encouragement or a reason for me not to cave and jump off a cliff feel free to hit me with it
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