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gashotbox · 3 days

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being a janitor at a gym late, cleaning up. when a big, sweaty person calls you over. "hey, I need your help." they say before pushing you down on the exercise machine and then sitting down on your face. "you dont want my farts to soak into the bench, right? this is easier to clean" they grin before grinding their ass into your face and letting out a ripe protein fart. the first of many.

and you’re wiping down the machines, but the huge, sweaty wet ass-imprint seems permanently engrained in the seat. not to mention the godawful smell.

its late, nobody else is around. and then someone huge is lumbering towards you - shit-eating grin on their face as they chug the last of their protein shake. they rattle out a gross, wet belch — banging it out of their chest before shoving you into the seat and suddenly dropping their massive, sweaty ass globes of flesh nd muscle on your face. rubbing it in as you hear the ominous gurgle above you. “sorry, man.” they call, not sounding very sorry at all. you can feel their pucker rub against your nose through the musky, mesh fabric of their shorts. pushing out deep, grumbling protein farts and grunting in relief. your struggles are fruitless - they can pin you down just by their thighs. at your thrashing, they laugh, shaking their ass a little. they’re so heavy it almost hurts. “pipe down now, hey? there are worse things i could make you clean up.”

#asks #eprocto #eproctophilia #musk #gassy girls #gassy guys

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ralfmaximus · 1 month

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A 28-year-old motorcyclist died in Washington State on Friday afternoon because a dipshit Tesla driver rear-ended him at speed. A Snohomish man, 56, was commuting in his 2022 Tesla Model S when he activated the car’s camera-based advanced driver assist system and according to his statements to police, began looking through his phone. With nobody paying attention to the car’s actions, the Tesla software ignored Jeffrey Nissen on his motorcycle and continued on at speed. The car rear-ended the two-wheeler, Nissen was flung from the bike, and his life ended pinned underneath the electric car, where he was still lodged when police arrived to the scene.

Tesla claims another life.

Reminder that even if you are personally aware of how dangerous Tesla vehicles are and vow to never ride in one, they can still kill you.

My own driving habits have changed around them. I always give Teslas extra space, avoid following them directly, and expect them to stop or swerve suddenly without notice.

Cannot count the times I've pulled up next to a Tesla at freeway speed, noticed the driver playing on their phone. Tap the horn. They look up with surprise.

Please, don't be that guy.

#tesla #musk

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hunter-rodrigez · 1 year

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As sketchy as the oceangate submarine was... you can bet your ass every single one of musky's endeavors would look just as sketchy if it wasn't for the fact that he's forced to work with government regulators.

Hell, most of his projects are this sketchy if you look a bit closer. For example: the tesla tunnels.

No fire suppression system, no emergency exits, no emergency lighting, no way for EMS to get through, no fucking nothing. I am pretty sure it's not even big enough to open the car's doors.

Or the Cybertruck that's a deathtrap for both the people on the outside and the people on the inside because it utterly disregards the last 50 or so years of advancements in car safety technology such as crumple zones or safety glass

Or the tesla model 3 where you can't even open the back doors without power. So if you're in an accident and lose power... good luck getting your kids out of the back, especially when the huge battery is turning into a huge, unextinguishable flamethrower.

Or the fucking starship launchpad that was utterly destroyed by the rocket and threw huge concrete chunks and other debris around for miles... which, incidentally, also destroyed the rocket.

That's what all these self-proclaimed Silicon Valley tech bro geniuses are like.

They all think they know better than everyone else, and that rules or consequences don't apply to them, and they see safety as little more than an afterthought.

It's why Ai and social media algorithms are used sooooo ethically. It's why amazon and facebook try to find out everything about you and happily sell that data with no disregard for what it could be used for.

It's about damn time one of these CEO dipshits got killed by their own dipshitery, I just wish it had been musk or bezos instead...

Once again, in conclusion:

#oceangate #musk #tesla #bezos #billionaire dipshits

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nando161mando · 2 months

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In case anyone else needed a good belly laugh today.

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megafreeman · 1 year

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Elon told that they removed all "shadowbans" on alt right accounts but they don't get more impressions because they were never banned in the first place, so someone convinced them the algorithm will prioritize their tweets on feed if they go private which successfully blocks their content from being shared or seen by anyone not following them, successfully killing their engagement. Even "genius" Elon Musk fell for it

#elon musk #twitter #musk

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minyicho · 10 months

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wha-

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mysharona1987 · 2 years

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#Elon musk #elon #twitter #musk #lolz

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readontheinternet · 2 years

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It was only temporary, but still...

#twitter #elon musk #layoffs #twitter layoffs #musk #account suspended

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charlesoberonn · 1 year

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#elon musk #musk #tesla #trump #donald trump #politics #american politics #trump arrest #10k

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labrysknot · 5 months

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It's fucking 2024. No butch should have to jack off without a needy, moaning femme cumrag under them shoving its face in their crotch and licking and huffing desperately.

#musk

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ralfmaximus · 2 months

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Watch a Cybertruck break in real time, less than a mile after the guy acquires it. Founders Edition totally worth $120K, right?

#tesla #cybertruck #musk #idiot

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netscapenavigator-official · 1 year

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Tumblr’s Twitter account wasn’t banned with the others because only accounts that promote social medias get banned, and what Staff is doing over there is the equivalent of showing someone a used car and telling them that the frame is rusted through, and that it only comes with three tires.

#shitpost #shit post #joke #staff #tumblr #twitter #elon musk twitter #elon musk #fuck elon musk #twitter takeover #twitter meltdown #musk #fuck elongated muskrat

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nando161mando · 1 month

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