#Sebastian stan
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SEBASTIAN STAN as BUCKY BARNES
CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (2016)
#marveledit#sebastian stan#bucky barnes#buckybarnesedit#sebstanedit#marvel#winter soldier#captain america#captain america: civil war#*
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as long as we're together (does it matter where we go?)
Summary: You don't want to be a burden to Bucky, knowing he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Pairing: Bucky x Female!OC
Genre: Angst
Length: 7.8k
Two years ago
“I don’t think I want to be with you anymore.”
Bucky had expected it. Weeks of you being distant, making secret phone calls, avoiding his touches like they physically hurt you. Countless times Bucky had asked, what's wrong?, only for you to shut him down and say that everything was fine. Bucky was sick of hearing that empty, meaningless mantra, but it didn’t mean that he reveled in your confession now.
Even though it didn't come as a surprise, it still felt like a punch to the gut. It physically winded him to hear those words leave your lips.
He wondered what he did wrong. He wondered where they went wrong. They were so in love, so wonderfully content in each other's company. You were his person. Steve had once told Bucky that he would find someone unexpectedly, when Bucky made an off-hand comment about how lucky he was to have met Peggy.
“You’ll find your Peggy.”
Things had been perfect. Or maybe Bucky had just been in denial, ignoring all the problems between you because he thought that his feelings for you triumphed over everything, no matter what hardships you may have been suffering from. How could he ever face the reality that you might actually leave in pursuit of something better?
Now, Bucky’s chest was tight with an indescribable feeling, both of you stood in your shared apartment. Your belongings stuffed into a black suitcase, Bucky’s heart in pieces on the hardwood floor.
He had expected it, but it didn't stop him from wanting to die.
"Why?" It was all he could ask. He wanted to know the reason, wanted to understand. Wanted to know if he could fix it. He was desperate to make you stay.
Bucky stared at your face. You looked so...indifferent. Unattached, in contrast to the woman he had met all those years ago. Where had the softness in your eyes gone? Why couldn’t you meet his pleading gaze, even now? At what point did your feelings for him start to fade, and was there anything he could have done to salvage it?
Your face was a blank slate, emotionless, and it made Bucky feel a truly troubling combination of sadness and anger. It was as if you had already said your goodbyes to their relationship, completely ready to move on whilst Bucky was still trying to process your words. You were ready to leave him behind to mourn.
“I don’t think we’re right for each other,” you had said quietly. “I don’t think we can give each other what we need.”
"Bullshit," Bucky said, his voice cracking. You grimaced ever so slightly at his tone, still unable to meet his eyes. "How can you say that?"
He took a step forward; you matched it with a retreating step, but with wide strides he seized your wrists. He silently willed you to say something which could somehow lessen the excruciating pain.
“Will you just look at me?”
He wanted so badly for you to meet his stare, to find some source of comfort within your eyes which usually held so much love for him.
Finally, you relented and lifted your head. They did not fill Bucky with any hope. You pressed your lips together firmly as he searched your face desperately for any sign of residual affection.
"We - we're in love. How can you say after all these years that we're not right for each other? For fuck's sake, will you just tell me what happened?"
"People change, Bucky," you said softly. The look on your face - was it sadness, or apathy? "We've become too distant."
"And whose fault is that?" Bucky released you then. He was so angry, wanting to elicit some sort of reaction from you, that he wanted to punch the wall beside them. It made him feel nauseous at how stoic you were now, like a piece of unyielding rock. He knew you hated it when he took his anger out physically. You had been the one to teach him how to manage his rage more constructively, to talk things out and use his words rather than his fists.
"Are you trying to say it's mine?" Your tone was sharp, finally demonstrating some emotion. "Are you saying that all those nights waiting for you to come back home, all those evenings alone whilst you stayed at the Tower, all those hours I spent staring at the four walls of this apartment were my fault?"
"You left me!" Bucky retorted, gritting his teeth. "You left me long before today! You think I haven't noticed? You can barely stand touching me. You're always on your phone, always texting, always out seeing your 'friends'," he said, making air quotes. "I asked Wanda, she said you haven't been meeting her or your other friends for weeks. Who's this 'friend’? Who the fuck is it that's so important that you can't spare any time for me, never mind your actual friends?"
A long, pregnant pause filled the air, an indecipherable mask on your face once more. Bucky’s eyes were wet, and if he hadn't been so angry, he would've seen the way your lower lip was trembling ever so slightly, the way it did whenever you were trying not to cry. It had been the biggest telltale sign for him over the years to know when you were upset and trying your best to hide it.
He was usually so good at reading you, but he was blinded with sadness.
"Fine," you said eventually, slicing the silence with a shaky exhale. "I'm seeing someone else."
You might as well have struck Bucky across the face.
Suspecting it and hearing the words fall from your lips were two different things. He physically reeled back in anguish as he stared at you. He took in the sight of his girlfriend in front of him, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat. This was, without a doubt, the woman he had met five years ago. The woman he spent five years loving. The woman whom he recognized no longer.
"Why?" Bucky whispered, all the fight leaving his body. He physically seemed to sag, forehead creasing at all the other questions running through his mind, visions of you being touched and fucked by some faceless, nameless man.
You were almost pitiful in the way you looked at Bucky, and he hated it.
"I care for you, Bucky. But I’m not in love with you anymore. And I'm sorry I had to do this to you. Things just got out of control."
I’m not in love with you anymore.
You offered no further information, but he had stopped listening, anyway. The finality in your voice pierced him slowly, tortuously, through the heart. He barely moved when you took your suitcase and pulled it out behind you, out of their apartment. Out of his life.
The door slammed shut.
Present day
You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Mercedes Knight & Samuel Wilson
Sam had become Bucky’s closest confidant in the past few years, and the latter had been a close witness as Sam met Mercedes ‘Misty’ Knight, a former NYPD officer who had somehow become roped into their crazy world. It was no surprise to Bucky when they announced their engagement just six months into dating.
Bucky found himself being pulled into their wedding planning discussions far too often. He tried to keep an amused smile at bay whilst listening into Misty and Sam’s wedding talk at the Tower. They were using one of the many conference rooms - a Knight-Wilson union was official business, Misty insisted.
"Are you bringing a date?" Misty asked suddenly in the middle of everything, the question directed at Bucky.
"Of course he's bringing a date," Sam smirked. "Heard things with Sharon are going well, right?"
Bucky smiled non-committedly, shrugging. "She's great." It didn’t go unnoticed by Sam that this didn’t quite answer his question.
"You two look good together," Misty offered. She glanced at her watch and widened her eyes theatrically, grabbing Sam’s hand. "Oh crap, we need to go meet with the wedding planner."
"But it feels like we just sat down," Sam complained.
"There's no rest for the bride and groom, Sam," Misty said, pulling her fiancé out of his seat as she waved goodbye at Bucky.
As soon as they departed, the smile on Bucky’s face dimmed. He was beyond happy for his two friends, he really was - but every couple he knew was a fresh reminder of his own failed love life.
Ever since you, he hadn't been in a long term relationship. Sharon is different, he told himself, and she was. They had been friends for a long time, and of course spent a lot of time together carrying out missions and the like. Over time, somehow, they had gotten closer, and one day Sharon had just asked him, “So when are you going to ask me out, Barnes?”
At that point, Bucky was still frequently thinking about you. Sharon had never met you before, but Bucky wouldn’t be surprised if she had heard stories about you from the others, since he had been notoriously affected by the breakup. Even though he was dealing with the aftershocks of the broken relationship, he was forcing himself to get past it.
They had been dating for two months now, and it only seemed right for Sharon to be his date at the wedding.
He had moved on. He was no longer the depressed, dark wreck he was when you left.
Sometimes it’s better to lie to yourself than to face the reality.
“You invited Bucky’s ex to the wedding?” Misty asked curiously.
“Uh, yeah. She’s not just his ex,” Sam explained gently. “She’s my friend too, and I haven’t seen her since she left town.”
"You told Bucky?"
"Nope," Sam snorted, shaking his head. "I can't. I don't think he'd turn up if I did. I want them both there on the day - I'm sure they can be civil for one night."
“I wonder how Bucky will react," his future wife pondered.
Sam shrugged. Not well, probably.
"What else can I do? I can’t not invite her, I really want her to be there. You never met her, so you don’t know, but she’s been through some shit.”
“I know, I know, you told me,” Misty said. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt. Do you think she'll be okay seeing Bucky again? Especially if he'll be there with Sharon?"
"She said she can handle it. She would be happy to see that Bucky was happy. She was the one who practically begged me to encourage him to move on."
“Do you think he has?”
Sam paused, considering the question carefully.
“He has to.”
Several weeks later, Misty Knight and Sam Wilson were officially wed at the local registration office. The day was full of hugs, cacophonous laughter, friends and family, and Bucky watched with a wide beam on his face as he witnessed his friends glow. Those kinds of smiles were few and far between nowadays, but he was truly happy for once.
"They look so good together," Sharon murmured as hundreds of guests filled the hotel ballroom, the party commencing in full swing. The newlyweds were in the center of the room, Misty being twirled around wildly by a laughing Sam before his wife collapsed against his chest in fits of giggles, looking up into his eyes adoringly.
More and more people joined them on the dance floor after the conclusion of their official first dance.
"Barnes, would you like to dance?" Sharon asked suddenly with a smile, extending a hand.
Bucky chuckled, allowing her to take his hand and lead him out to the dance floor.
An hour passed, and Bucky had to truthfully say that he was enjoying himself, assisted by all the alcohol he had consumed. Sharon was draped all over him as they swayed to the music, and Bucky found himself appreciating the feel of her body against his all too much, the scent of her intoxicating. His hands felt the fabric of her silky, emerald green dress, buried his nose into Sharon's blonde hair, sighing softly as he tightened his grip on her waist.
Her perfume was strong and woodsy, like a forest. It irritated his nose ever so slightly. You had preferred a more subtle, floral perfume, one that smelt like sakura blossoms.
Sharon was more confident and seductive in the way she danced, whilst you used to always let yourself become putty in his arms, enjoying how he took the lead and managed to make you look like you knew how to dance despite your two left feet.
However, despite the differences, if Bucky closed his eyes and just tried a little harder, he think he could pretend that -
"Sorry to interrupt.”
Bucky pulled away from Sharon suddenly, and he turned to mock glare at Sam. "What do you want, Wilson?"
"Need to borrow you for a minute," Sam said, an undecipherable expression on his face. Bucky tried to see where Misty had disappeared off to, but saw no trace.
"Um, sure..." Bucky tried to read Sam’s face but gleaned nothing.
"I'll just go say hi to Natasha," Sharon said, giving Bucky’s forearm a squeeze before she disappeared.
Sam’s smile faded, and he caught Bucky’s arm in a vice grip. "I need to tell you something. Don't get mad, okay?"
"What?" Bucky scowled as Sam dragged him to the side of the room, weaving through the crowds of guests. "What good news starts with, ‘don’t get mad’? Are you gonna tell me you want to run out on Misty or something?" He joked.
Sam pulled him out through one of the open French doors which led to a pretty, outdoor stone balcony. He shut them behind him as Bucky continued to babble, a little tipsy from the champagne he'd had. "I gotta tell ya, if she asks me to kick your ass I will literally do so -”
"Bucky," Sam said, taking a deep breath. "She’s here." Meeting Bucky’s nonplussed eyes, your name rolled off Sam’s tongue in clarification.
He felt like the breath was sucked from his lungs as he stared back at Sam, who looked uncharacteristically anxious.
“What?" He asked hoarsely, instantly sobering up. “What do you mean?”
Chills were running through his body. The name he had avoided for years was suddenly causing him to feel breathless. How did you still have such an affect on him?
"She couldn't make it to the ceremony earlier today, but she just arrived."
"You - you invited her here? She’s here, now?"
"Yes," Sam replied, nodding. "I invited her.” He straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest almost defiantly.
Bucky was speechless for a moment, taking a step back and scoffing. He shook his head. “Do you remember what she did to me?”
“I'm sorry, Buck..."
Bucky suddenly laughed, startling Sam. His laugh was curt, humorless. "What are you sorry for? I'm over her, Sam. It was two years ago. I haven't seen her in two years. I don't care anymore," he said quickly. Too quickly.
"Listen -"
"Look, it's okay." Bucky raised his hands in small surrender. “You have the right to invite whoever you want. I’m not mad. But I just don’t want to be held accountable for whatever happens now.”
He turned and wrenched the French doors open with such force that the handle buckled slightly. The noise inside the ballroom spilled out to replace the painful silence on the balcony.
He disappeared inside before Sam could say anything else, and he tried to hide it, but Sam could clearly see that his hands were shaking as he marched inside.
For the next twenty minutes, Bucky found sanctuary in the restrooms. He stood inside the stall, trying to stop himself from mentally collapsing.
He didn’t know what was happening. He had never felt this overwhelming panic rush over him before, immobilizing him. Anger, sadness and yearning swirling inside a melting pot of emotions that was crippling him.
She was here. The woman he hadn't seen in two years, the woman who broke his heart, the woman who betrayed him, the woman who left him in tatters.
Your infidelity had had an unforeseen impact on him. When he first found out, he was devastated. Terrified of how you became someone he didn’t recognize - or had you always been someone capable of betraying him, just good at hiding it?
You had poisoned all the happy memories they had once shared. Bucky found himself recounting all the years you were together, micro-analyzing everything, wondering if there was a hidden lie behind it all.
That was one of the things which made him angriest. You turned all the beautiful years of your relationship into a lie. None of it was real, Bucky had told himself.
You crushed him.
Of his feelings, anger prevailed, slowly simmering to the surface, like a volcano about to erupt. How dare you walk back into his life like this? He would show you, Bucky thought with determination. He was over you. He had no reason to be angry, he thought bitterly, because you were nothing to him.
Just like Bucky was nothing to you.
When he emerged from the toilets, the first thing he did was find Sharon. She looked relieved to see him, although confusion was clear on her face as she eyed Bucky.
"Where have you been? Are you feeling okay?" She commented, brow furrowed with concern.
"I'm fine," Bucky assured her. "Have you seen Sam?"
Sharon pointed, puzzlement still painted across her face, and Bucky snapped round quickly.
And there you were.
It was as if you had never left. As if the past two years filled with Bucky trying to eradicate every memory and feeling he had for you had never happened, because as soon as Bucky’s eyes found you through the crowd, everything came collapsing back down on top of him like an avalanche. Suffocating.
You were still so beautiful, strikingly so. Like a burning beacon among the crowd, Bucky’s eyes found your face as easily as anything. For a second, he allowed himself to ignore anything except you, and how the sight of you still managed to take his breath away.
You looked thinner than he remembered, your face gaunt. Bucky frowned slightly at this acute observation and found himself wondering if you had been taking care of yourself.
"Barnes? You okay?"
Bucky registered Sharon shaking his arm, but his eyes remained fastened on yourself and Sam. Neither of you had spotted Bucky yet, who was rooted to the spot like a statue. Sam’s mouth was moving, words that Bucky couldn't hear escaping his mouth, but his expression was angry. Almost as if he was scolding you for something.
"I have to...I..." Bucky stumbled over his words, voice faint. He could feel those tendrils of anger slowly seizing him again, wisps at first, until they grew more and more potent by the second. He remembered every single thing he felt when you left him, and instead of trying to hold back the emotions, Bucky just saw red.
"Let me introduce you to someone," he said suddenly, his voice strained as he took Sharon's hand.
"You said you were better," Sam said, expression torn.
"I am," you lied, trying to put on a smile. Truth was, you were exhausted, just like how you always felt. The ballroom was so crowded and loud, and you just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep, which you would the moment you finished congratulating Sam and Misty. And perhaps, even though you didn't want to admit it, you wanted to catch a glimpse of Bucky, too.
"Look at you, you're -"
“Sam, please don’t,” you interrupted gently. “Just drop it, please? It’s your big day, I don’t want you to worry about anything else.”
Sam opened his mouth to talk, but stopped suddenly, his eyes flitting to look behind you.
"Hey."
You froze. You knew that voice, of course. Heard it enough times, the deep, gravelly voice that had once whispered sweet pet names, proclamations of love, and plagued your dreams ever since you left him.
You had longed to hear his voice again, hear your name being spoken lovingly. His voice was your favorite sound in the world. Except tonight, hearing it for the first time in two years, you heard nothing but ice.
"Bucky?" You turned slowly, and your breath hitched. He was just the way you remembered him. Even more handsome, if possible. Clad in a sleek black tux, tall and dark and sexy, everything you had missed and dreamed of, and...
He was holding another woman’s hand.
"Bucky," Sam repeated, voice tense. Bucky could hear the underlying warning.
"It's been a while," he said stiffly, acting as neutral as he could. As if he hadn't spent months after their terrible break up being a shell of who he used to be, barely repaired even now. Bucky felt like any other venomous words from your mouth would shatter him again, but he had to take the chance. He had to talk to you, show you that he had moved on. He didn't care about you anymore, or how you so ruthlessly left him.
"Yes," you said weakly, smiling softly. God, he still thought that you looked beautiful, clad in a periwinkle blue dress, a thick coat draped around your shoulders. You were shivering, and Bucky resisted the urge to ask you what was wrong. Now that he was closer, he could see that didn’t look well at all. You had dark circles under your eyes and your collarbones were too prominent, your gaze devoid of any livelihood.
You glanced at Bucky’s fingers interlaced with a gorgeous blonde. You had seen her on the news before, you were pretty certain. Your smile forcibly stretched wider, blinking a few times, not knowing what to do with yourself.
"This is Sharon," Sam said, clearing his throat and exchanging introductions.
“It’s very nice to meet you,” Sharon said politely. She was gorgeous, you thought, watching as she sent Bucky a subtle, questioning glance.
Bucky was still staring at you, unmoving. You took the initiative first.
“Bucky, can we talk for a second?"
You could see the way he was trying to control himself by the way his lips stiffened, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. He gave a curt nod. He didn’t want to cause a scene in front of Sharon and the other hundreds of wedding guests.
“Let’s leave these two to catch up,” Sam said lightly, trying to hide his discomfort as he led Sharon away.
"So now you want to talk?" Bucky asked as soon as they were out of earshot, his voice sharp. You cringed, almost folding into yourself at Bucky’s hard stare.
"Yes," was all you managed to whisper, eyes darting to the ground to avoid meeting his glare. “Let’s go somewhere quieter.”
You turned and walked towards the exit of the ballroom, turning back to look at Bucky. He followed after a second, his jaw set like stone as you led the way to the empty lobby outside, away from the noise.
"It's been a while, Buck.” You voice was sad as you turned to face him again.
"Yes," he said, fighting an internal battle. He was so torn. Seeing you again made him want to wrap you up in his arms like he would've done two years ago, when you were still together. And feeling like that made Bucky angry. What right did you have to make him feel this way? Who gave you the right to mess with Bucky’s heart again after so long?
"How have you been?" You asked eventually after a painfully awkward silence.
He scoffed at that. "How have I been?" He repeated incredulously. He doubted you really wanted to hear about all those nights he spent in his apartment, refusing to talk to his friends, being a complete social introvert (more than he usually was) because he felt like he just couldn't live anymore. Not without you.
"Great. Fantastic," he said without a shred of sincerity.
You stared at him for the longest time, your lips pressed into a thin line. You looked so regretful that it made Bucky feel uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry," you said eventually, your voice wavering like you were struggling to breathe properly. "I'm so sorry for leaving you like that. We...we could have ended things better. You didn't deserve how I treated you."
You flinched when Bucky scoffed derisively. He dropped any remaining restraints he had previously put in place, letting all his feelings run free.
"Are you kidding me? Why? Why are you coming back here and apologizing after all this time?" He felt like he wanted to tear his hair out in frustration as he stared at you, making sure to keep his distance lest he found himself wanting to pull you closer. God, it was all so confusing. He despised you, and yet seeing you here in the flesh was everything he had ever wanted in the last few years.
He hated how you were making him feel.
"Look, it doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done," he spat through gritted teeth, all the while completely unaware of how your heart clenched painfully at Bucky’s scornful eyes. “Do you have any idea how unfair this is? You fucked up big time, disappeared off the face of the earth, then come back standing in front of me now asking how I am?”
“I know. You’re right, about everything. I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry.”
“No. You have no right to do this,” Bucky seethed. “You have no right to come back here and try to - what, settle your guilt? Make amends?”
You didn’t say anything, choosing to let him vent instead.
“I still remember the way you left. What you did. I will never forgive you for that. So don’t you dare stand in front of me today with all this bullshit and expect me to have something nice to say.”
"You really hate me, don't you?" You asked then, taking Bucky off guard. You lifted your head properly to stare at him, and the look in your eyes was unsettling.
"I hate you," Bucky confirmed unwaveringly, his voice hard. "I hate what you did to me and by extension, you."
You didn't respond. You bit your lower lip hard, trying desperately not to cry in front of him. Your heart hurt so much.
It was the worst feeling in the world, maybe, seeing the man you loved so dearly tell you that he hated you. It was excruciating, the clenching inside your chest as Bucky’s words rang in your head.
"I know my apologies will never be enough. I just wanted to see if you're happy now," you whispered.
"I'm happy," Bucky replied almost immediately. "I'm happy with Sharon. Does that bother you? Did you hope that I'd still be pining after you? I'm not that pathetic anymore." The barriers were broken, and the hurtful words were falling from Bucky’s mouth, two years worth of it.
“I never said you were pathetic,” you retorted, slightly indignant. “I’m glad that you’re happy.”
Bucky was breathing hard, unconvinced by your words.
“And how's the man you left me for?"
"He...it didn't work out," you shrugged, trying to keep your face as straight as possible.
"Good," Bucky said harshly. "Because you don't deserve happiness." If he wasn't so mad, he wouldn't say such irrational things. But he just wanted you to hurt. He wanted you to feel all the pain you caused.
Bucky pretended he didn't hear you gasp. He pretended that he didn't see your eyes gloss over at the sheer amount of hate in his voice.
"Okay," you said finally, your voice clearly shaking. "Okay," you repeated again, nodding your head. Bucky watched you take a step back, away from him.
“I -”
“I'm sorry, Bucky. Please take care," you interrupted, smiling sadly before you turned and walked away as quickly as possible.
That was not how you envisioned the reunion to go. All you wanted was to apologize, know that he was happy, so that you could go in peace.
But maybe that was the consequence of your decision. Maybe he was just always going to hate you for the rest of his life and remember you as someone awful.
You didn’t know that all Bucky wanted to do was run after you. Tell you to stop. He wanted to apologize and tell you how he didn’t mean a word of what he just said.
Rage and pride kept him shackled, and he watched your retreating back, feeling like a coward.
The last thing Bucky expected when he opened his apartment door a few days later was Sam’s dirty glare.
"You can be a mean son of a bitch, do you know that?”
"Hello to you too,” Bucky retorted.
“Why did you say all that stuff to her?” Sam asked, pushing his way past Bucky.
Bucky closed the door, knowing exactly who he was referring to.
"Why is this any of your business?"
"You acted like a dick!" Sam said furiously.
“Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done something like that on your special day. But-”
“I want you to feel sorry to her.”
"She left me,” Bucky exclaimed. "You were there, Sam, you saw how fucked up she made me. She cheated on me! You want me to apologize to her?” His face was incredulous.
“You’re so fucking frustrating.”
“Oh, excuse me for not being the bigger person,” Bucky sneered. “But you don’t know how she made me feel, Sam, so don’t you dare try to give me a fucking lecture now.”
Sam was quiet for the longest time, looking exasperated. He stared up at the ceiling, sighing.
“Bucky, look man. She never cheated on you,” Sam said finally, an apologetic look in his eyes.
The apartment became filled with nothing but the sounds of Bucky’s heavy breathing.
“What are you talking about?” He spat, realizing now that Sam knew something he didn’t.
Sam let out a resigned sigh, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I promised her I wouldn’t tell you. But fuck it, man, cause I think this is messed up. She’s sick, Bucky," he said solemnly. "Like, really sick."
Two years ago
"It's cancer, Sam."
You physically couldn't cry anymore. You had done enough of that the day the doctor had told you, your eyes puffy and swollen. Funnily enough, the first person you had sought out wasn’t your boyfriend, but rather his best friend.
Bucky wasn’t even in town that weekend, and you really didn’t want to tell him over the phone. In fact, you never wanted to tell him. How do you tell the man you love that you're dying?
"You can get treatment, right?" Sam asked.
"I don't know. It’s not looking good. They're doing some sort of new clinical trial in England, but even that’s a long shot. I - I’m going to try, though.”
Sam sat up straighter. “And Bucky?”
"You can't tell him," you said firmly. You had thought about it all night, and you knew you couldn't let him know. You didn't want to put him through something like this. "My father had cancer too, Sam," you said softly. "He died in so much pain, he had so much treatment but it didn't help. He was throwing up all the time, having fevers, his body was so weak, and by the end he wasn’t the same anymore. I don't want him to see me like that."
“But-”
“No buts,” you said. You had given it enough thought already. You knew that you would have to be very, very lucky to make it through this - the end was essentially inevitable. There was no way you would make Bucky bear witness to you succumbing to this illness the same way you had to watch your father.
It was the worst time of your life. You had told Bucky about it in the past, as he had never had a chance to meet your father since he passed away years before you met Bucky. Knowing what you did, you would never inflict that same experience on him.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I have to leave him.” You had been preparing yourself for what you needed to do all night. "If I go, there's a chance I might not come back, you understand that, right?"
"Don't say things like that," Sam said forcefully, clenching your hand. "Just stop. Bucky will support you all the way, you know that!"
"That’s exactly why I have to go by myself. I can't be selfish, Sam. I want him to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. I can’t make him drop everything to make me his number one priority. Looking after me will take time and constant care. If I go to England, he will abandon everything and come. Manhattan is his home.”
Sam looked anguished and you knew that he was disagreeing with everything you had just said, but you plowed on.
"It’s not just a matter of time and effort. If he stays, he will watch me die, and I don’t want him to do that.” You began to cry, and Sam hugged you, wishing he could say something comforting.
“It’s okay," you said through the tears, even though every fiber in your body was telling you the opposite. You had been repeating these words to yourself all night, as if you would believe it if you said it enough times. "It’ll be okay."
Maybe you were being stupid, but you didn't care. You knew Bucky loved you with his body and soul, as did you. But you weren’t going to let him suffer over your illness. You wouldn't let the person you cared most about in the world see you slowly deteriorate.
You had been witness to how your father was clearly in a depressive state, and yet tried his hardest to pretend to be happy and fine around other people. You didn’t know if you had the strength or bravery to even pretend.
You began distancing yourself. Stopped trying to make conversation with Bucky, until the long, endless, random talks you used to share diminished into curt sentences. You stopped waiting for Bucky to come home, simply pretending that you didn't care. You became more secretive, furtively hiding your calls with your doctor and your mother.
There was no other man. You loved him and only him, and had been nothing but faithful. You didn't know what hurt more: having to lie to Bucky or the fact that he so easily believed you would betray him like that.
In the end, you had really regretted fabricating a story of infidelity. You should have just gone your separate ways without making him think that you had been unfaithful. But at that time, you wanted to find a quick solution that would make Bucky voluntarily detach himself from you. It seemed like a wise decision, but you really, really wish you hadn’t let him believe that you didn’t love him. It was truly the worst feeling in the world.
It was all over in a few weeks. You packed your things and left, trying not to cry with every heavy step you took towards the door of your apartment. You knew you were making the best decision for them both, surely.
Time would heal Bucky, and he would be happy again one day.
It just couldn’t be with you.
Present day
"She just didn’t want to feel like a burden to you, man," Sam said, shaking his head. "Why did you have to say all those things to her at the wedding?"
Bucky could register nothing else after Sam finished explaining everything. He was in disbelief, though he knew that there was no way Sam would fabricate a story like that.
Now, he could only think of the way he had shouted at you. The way he told you how much he hated you. The way you had left.
"Where is she?" Bucky whispered.
"She’s leaving today," Sam said tersely. "She’s going back to England. She was real sick for a long time, and she recovered a few months ago, but the cancer came back.”
He slipped a hotel business card into Bucky’s hand. “This is the address she’s staying at," Sam said.
He grasped it like a lifeline, eyes unable to see Sam standing in front of him. His vision was completely filled with images of you.
"Go," Sam said forcefully. "Go and find her.”
The tears wouldn't stop falling.
You didn't know words could hurt so much. Sure, you had expected Bucky to hate you, but you weren’t prepared for the way every single word seemed to embed themselves into your skin like splinters into your heart.
They were once so happy. They were so perfect.
You hated yourself. Hated yourself for getting ill, for ruining what you had. The logic was irrational, but the self-hatred had become second nature.
You had spent the last few days holed up in your hotel. You had planned to use the time to see a few friends before returning to England, but you no longer had the heart.
You left your room that morning only because Wanda was furious that she missed you at the wedding, and you agreed to have coffee with her. She almost cried at the sight of you, but you put on a brave face, refusing to talk about Bucky. You begged her if you could just talk about happy topics and she eventually obliged, smiling sadly when you hugged each other goodbye.
“I’ll see you again, dear,” Wanda had said, and you hoped to God she was right.
As soon as you got inside your hotel room, you felt a switch click internally.
Everything hurt. You were tired, unhappy and you really didn’t know if you would ever make it out of this emotional blackhole. You felt so weak, like you would keel over at any given moment.
Cancer really was a bitch.
You kicked off your shoes and entered the bathroom. You lay down in the bathtub, fully clothed, turning the cold water on until you were almost completely submerged, wanting to numb all the pain inside your body and mind.
You eyes were red and swollen, and you couldn't remember crying so much since that day the doctor diagnosed you. Why was life so unfair? You wanted your old life back again. The life where Bucky didn't detest you, the one where he was happily and wonderfully in love with you.
You lay back, letting the water cover you completely. You closed your eyes, your hair gently swirling around your face. You opened your mouth and screamed, bubbles erupting to the surface.
Eventually you emerged, gasping and coughing, your tears hot in contrast to your frozen face. Your body wracked with sobs, shaking uncontrollably.
You sank back down into the water, your mouth opening once more to scream in uncontrollable rage. It was cathartic, your fists clenched into balls as you willed the feelings inside you to just - disappear.
When you opened your eyes beneath the water, you nearly gasped at the sight of a blurry, warped figure above you. You didn't have time to do anything when arms were suddenly encasing themselves around you, lifting you to the surface.
You spluttered and coughed, your ears assaulted by the voice that once whispered sweet nothings in your ear.
"- the fuck are you doing? Are you okay?"
Bucky.
You blinked past the water in your eyes, bewildered at the sight of him, kneeling beside the bathtub with his hands gripping your shoulders. His bright blue eyes were scared, wide open with concern.
You were startled at his sudden appearance, unable to say anything as he scooped you out, lifting you with ease. You were clearly in shock and scared.
You collapsed against him as he sat down on the bathroom floor with you in his arms.
"What were you doing?” Bucky was appalled as he pulled you close to him, watching how you continued to weep, blinking blearily at him. Your body was ice cold, every inch of you soaked.
He whipped a towel down from the railing beside you, wrapping it around your body as you shivered uncontrollably.
"Bu - Bucky?" You asked, as if you couldn't fathom why he was here. You were almost convinced you were hallucinating.
"Fuck, we need to get you out of these clothes," Bucky said, gritting his teeth as he tried not to cry. He had so much to say to you. He wanted you to know how sorry he was, how he didn't mean anything he said, but now wasn’t the time. He had to be strong for you.
You felt like a baby as Bucky removed your soaking wet garments until you were naked, then immediately swaddled you with more towels. He picked you up completely off the floor and took you out of the bathroom.
He chose to place you down on the edge of the bed, positioning himself to kneel down in front of you.
"Bucky," you whispered, voice thick, trying to pull away from him. “I think you should just leave me alone."
He stiffened. It scared him to hear you talk like this, to see you look at Bucky with such defeat in your eyes.
“No,” he said resolutely. “I'm here now, okay? I'm here, I'm not leaving, and I need you to be with me. I need you here, talking to me.”
"I can't. I can't do this anymore. Just go, please."
Bucky looked at you then. Really looked at you. The woman he loved and misunderstood for so long was now a trembling wreck in front of him, skin paper thin and trembling like a leaf. You looked so vulnerable and sad, and it made his heart twist.
Bucky suddenly held you tight against his chest, tucking his nose against the crook of your neck, and you didn't resist.
"Do you have any idea how much I hate myself? I hate myself for letting you go through this alone. I hate myself for telling you all those lies that night. I love you, I love you, I love you," Bucky said, wishing that you would see it.
“Don’t.”
“I wish you had told me. I would have helped you. You should have told me. I can’t believe you -”
You realized now that Sam must've told him the truth, and you sighed softly.
"I'm not good for you, Bucky," you whispered. "I will only ever hurt you, put you through more pain."
"I know everything now," Bucky said firmly. "No matter what happens, I will gladly endure it as long as it means we're no longer apart."
“Don’t be so stupid,” you said, anger tearing through your voice, though the tears were still falling. “I’m broken, Buck. I can’t give you a future. Please just find someone else - stay with Sharon.”
“Sharon?” If you hadn’t mentioned her name, Bucky would never have even thought about her. “No - we’re not serious, doll. She was never going to be the one.”
“No,” you insisted. “If not her, then fine, find someone else. Just not me.”
“Why aren’t you listening?” Bucky asked furiously. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. Please don’t do this. I need you." He was desperate to make you see, to make you understand. It was you or nothing. "You don’t know how awful the past few years have been. I don’t want to be apart from you, please.” He was prepared to grovel at your feet and beg.
He hated himself for how easily he gave up two years ago. This time, he was not letting you leave him.
His beautiful blue eyes pleaded with you, and you felt your barricades crumble. Your arms finally moved to wrap around him, and he felt a wave of relief as he encircled you in his arms. You had missed this, the feeling of Bucky holding you so tenderly.
You didn’t know if you were making the right choice, but you wanted to give in so badly and just let yourself be selfish and enjoy what time you could have together. And now that Bucky had you back by his side, he was definitely not going to let you go.
Even if they were in pieces, at least they were together. And Bucky was positive that they could put those pieces back into a whole, as long as you gave it a chance.
"You're so stupid," you said through your tears.
"I don't think so," Bucky said, managing the smallest smile. "Just stupidly in love with you."
You wanted to stay like this forever, entangled in each others arms. He pulled back slowly to study your face, and leaned in to press a gentle kiss against your lips. He kissed you again, deeper this time, breathing you in.
“You owe me two years of kisses,” he mumbled.
You laughed softly, but it soon died. First, you had a lot of talking to do. You used the following hour to tell him the details about your illness, why you had left, how sorry you were for treating Bucky the way you did when you broke up with him.
"You're so dumb," Bucky had said, sounding furious for a moment. "You had no right to decide something like that for me. You know I would support you.”
"I know, Buck," you had interrupted. "That's exactly why I had to leave. I didn't want you to see me die, okay?"
You had looked like you were about to cry again, so Bucky stopped scolding you immediately. He would never make you cry again, he swore.
"You're here now," he said, kissing your temple. "We're together now. Everything feels...right again."
You swallowed, biting your lip. "I told you, my cancer is back and -"
"You'll get better again," he said, refusing to look at you. You knew that tears were in his eyes. "You'll get better, okay?" His voice wavered slightly.
"It's worse this time, Bucky," you said. "Look at me. I'm practically withering away."
"You'll get better," he said, clenching his teeth.
You didn't say anything, just nestled against Bucky’s chest, relishing the way he wrapped his arms securely around your frame as if you would disappear at any moment.
Maybe he was right. Maybe by some miracle, with Bucky by your side, you would be able to give him all the time in the world.
"I'll try to stick around," you whispered.
#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes#bucky angst#sebastian stan#bucky barns fanfiction#bucky barns imagine#bucky barns x you#bucky
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@mjonf: @imsebastianstan 💛 @variety 📸 @vsteves
#Sebastian Stan#Michael Fisher#Instagram#Variety#The Apprentice#mrs-stans#Cannes 2024#Cannes Film Festival#Cannes#sebastiansource#sebastianstansource#sebastian stan source#sebastianstannews#sebstanedit#sebastianstanedit#sebastianstan
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Sam’s Hot Super Soldier Friend » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier
Pairings: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader with Sam Wilson/Falcon
Summary: You think Sam’s Super Soldier friend is hot.
Warnings: Fluff and implied Smut (18+), language, flirting, pet names
Written on my phone. I’m sorry for any mistakes.
Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier
GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found it on Pinterest.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!🔞
“Sammy!” You walk through the house. “You home?” You asked.
Bucky turned his head when he heard your voice. Your eyes landed on Bucky when you walked in the living.
“Oh, sorry.” You apologized. “Sam’s nephews let me in. I didn’t know Sam had company.” You explained. “I hope I didn’t wake you.” You say.
“You didn’t. I was already awake.” Bucky says.
You two were in awkward silence for a moment before Bucky spoke up.
“You can take a seat if you’re waiting for Sam.” He says.
“There’s nowhere to sit, silly.” You say, referring to him laying on the couch.
“You can sit on my lap.” He says, throwing the blanket off of his lap and patted his thighs.
You giggled and walked over to him. You sat down on top of him, straddling him. Bucky tried not to groan as you got comfortable on his lap. He rested his hands on your hips.
“May I ask what your name is?” You asked, looking down at him.
“James Barnes. Everyone I know calls me Bucky.” He tells you. “What’s your name, doll?” He asks.
“Y/N Y/L/N. I’m a family friend of Sam’s.” You tell him.
Bucky licked his lips as he admired your beauty.
“You know…” Bucky starts. “Sam’s never told me about you.” He says.
“That’s a shame.” You playfully pouted. “He’s told me a lot about you.” You say.
“What did he say exactly?” He asks, worried that he told you stories of when he was the Winter Soldier.
“All good things.” You smiled. “He specifically told me that you’re the best friend of Captain America. You’re a Super Soldier and you have a metal arm.” You say, rubbing your finger against his vibranium bicep.
“Vibranium.” Bucky corrected.
“Even better.” You bit your bottom lip. “So Bucky…” You tilted your head slightly. “Are you single?” You asked curiously.
“Why do you ask, doll face?” He asks, his grip on your hips tightened.
“Well, for starters, you’re insanely hot.” You say in a flirty tone, licking your lips.
“You’re the kind of girl who gets straight to the point, huh?” He bit his bottom lip. “I like that.” He says.
“Let’s just say, I like what I see.” You say seductively, licking your lips.
Bucky chuckles. Sam walked in the living room, stopping in his tracks when he seen you on top of Bucky.
“Y/N, get off of Bucky.” Sam says.
You playfully pouted and gave him a kiss on his stubbly cheek before getting off of Bucky’s lap.
“And Bucky, stop flirting with girls who are old enough to be your granddaughter.” He says, looking at Bucky.
“She started it.” Bucky says, playfully poking your side.
Sam rolled his eyes at the Super Soldier.
“What’s the cool thing you want to show me?” You asked Sam.
“It’s outside. I’ll be out there in a minute.” He tells you.
“Ok, but before I go…” You wrote your phone number down on a piece of paper and put it in the front pocket of Bucky’s jeans. “Call or text me anytime, hottie.” You say, winking at Bucky.
“Will do, doll.” Bucky says with a smile and winks back.
You went outside while Sam stared at Bucky.
“Just so you know, she’s 23.” Sam says.
“So I have a chance?” Bucky says with a smirk.
“You’re like 110 years old, man.” He says.
“107.” He corrected him.
“Close enough.” Sam says before walking away.
Bucky chuckles as Sam walked away. He reached his hand in his pocket and pulled the piece of paper out of it. He smiled, excited to call or text you so he can talk to you again.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
-Bucky’s Doll
#sergeant james buchanan barnes#sergeant james barnes#sergeant barnes#james buchanan bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#james barnes#bucky barnes#winter soldier#tfatws!bucky barnes#tfatws!bucky#sebastian stan#sebastian stan characters#avengers#marvel#mcu#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes imagine
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BUCKY'S SECOND FIRST TIME
bucky x fem!reader (smut with plot) no use of y/n
All of this... Bucky hadn't had time to think about when it would happen again, he didn't even think it would ever happen again. He didn't even think deserve to have that kind of intimacy with anyone, didn't think that anyone would want to be in that situation with him.
It's been decades and now his head was full of bizarre thoughts. He had nightmares every time he tried to get some sleep, so the idea of spending the night with somebody was completely out of the table. He was witnessing a complete stranger take over his friend's shield and identity. He had not crossed a name off his list of amends for weeks, he had not answered any of Sam's messages and his psychologist was putting more and more pressure on him.
But in all that chaos there was you who always showed him a kind smile, who always asked him how his day was when you saw him come into the bar, exhausted. You who had his favorite drink ready before he arrived and who looked at him with hearty eyes. You thought you were being too obvious but it had been so long since anyone had looked at him that way that he didn't even notice it.
The day he took Sam to your bar was when he realized, and not even on his own. You were thrilled that he finally introduced you to one of his friends (his only friend in fact) and Sam was so funny and he was always picking on Bucky which made their dynamic even more fun to watch. They arrived almost at closing time so it was just the three of you. That night you ended up closing two hours later, inviting them for a few beers and being walked home by the two of them since it was already very late at night.
—Dude, she's so into you —. Sam huffed a laugh while they walked back from your house.
Bucky arched his eyebrows in surprise and then frowned. —What?
—Oh come on, you gonna tell me you haven't noticed?
Bucky was getting more and more confused. —Noticed what?
Sam stopped on his feet and looked at Bucky in surprise. —Steve told me you used to be a heartthrob back in the day.
—Yeah, back in the day. When I was seventy years younger.
Sam rolled his eyes. —Two things. First, as much as I hate to admit it, you don't look a hundred and seven, and second, I can assure you that this girl is head over heels for you. —Bucky was silent, thinking, so Sam spoke again. —Ask her on a date.
So yes, he asked you out on a date. Well, if inviting you to his house for a drink could be considered a date. He didn't like to be seen in public places too much and fancy restaurants didn't go with him, so while he thought of something better for the second date, his house would work for this time. Bucky shook his head as he found himself thinking about a second date.
Bucky always tried to keep everything tidy, clutter annoyed him and made him even grumpier. But now as he let you walk into his house first he realized how empty it was. He barely had any furniture, only one chair, a small sofa, and a TV. He hadn't even bothered to buy a bed because he slept on the floor. He wondered what was going through your head when you saw his home.
—This is nice —. You stated. At first, you didn't realize how empty his apartment was, you were just appreciating that he had trusted you enough to take you to a place as private and intimate as his home. Then you did notice that some things were missing but you assumed that's all he needed.
Bucky was relieved when he heard those three words come out of your mouth.
You noticed how he kept his jacket and gloves on while he took out two glasses to pour you a drink. Whenever he came home the first thing he did was to take those two things off but with you there, it was different yet when he thought about it, he realized that it was fair that you knew and ran away if you wanted to. So when he caught you looking curious, he first got rid of his gloves, and you could already see the metallic fingers of his hand. Then he took off his jacket, revealing how the metal shaped his left arm.
—You're not going to ask about it? —Bucky thought he was getting ahead of you, saving you from the awkward moment of asking about what happened to him. He poured some liquor in the glasses.
—Do you want to be asked about it?
Bucky looked at you and shook his head. You nodded, understanding his decission. You figured he wouldn't want to talk about it, much less on a first date. Your question caught him off guard yet his answer came almost automatically. He didn't want to talk about it and it was the first time he had been given the option of not doing so.
The rest of the night went great. Bucky was very interested in everything you said. He didn't talk much yet you managed to get some information about him. He had a sister, his favorite fruit was plums, he enjoyed 40s music, and he was a cat person. Every time he told you something about himself, no matter how irrelevant it seemed, you found it fascinating.
You noticed that he was very observant, his icy blue eyes never stopped looking at you for a second. You found it cute, intimidating at times not knowing what thoughts went with those long, intense stares. His eyes were beautiful, captivating, so you could tell every time he broke eye contact to divert his gaze to your lips and then back to your eyes.
Each was on one side of his kitchen island, that way you could look at each other's faces while talking. You were leaning more and more on the table that separated you, taking advantage of the moments of laughter to get closer to each other until that way you kissed him.
At first, you felt him a little stiff even though the sigh that he had let out when you had finally kissed his lips told you otherwise. You parted ways. —Is this okay?
Bucky nodded and immediately after, he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours again. It had been so long since he had kissed anyone that he didn't know if his lip movements were being too clumsy, if the clash of his teeth with yours was bothering you, or if his tongue slipping past your lips was okay. He did not know how to control his breathing that's why he let out little moans against your mouth, trying to catch his breath without having to leave your lips.
He felt like a teenager again. The tingling sensation in his lower abdomen made him want to run away and hide but at the same time did not want to part from your lips for anything in the world. He was afraid of the way you made him feel but at the same time he didn't want that feeling to ever go away.
Didn't know how or when but he ended up sitting on his couch with you on his lap. Your lips and his had come into perfect synchrony and the kiss was getting deeper and wetter. Oh God and he wasn't gonna complain. Your hands were pulling from the root of his hair, your hips rolled subtly against his crotch, his right hand was resting on your hips. Bucky felt how his jeans tightened right where you were sitting.
Bucky tried to keep his left arm away from you, holding your body on top of his just using his right one. He was aware that the touch of the metal was not the most pleasant in the world. It wasn't soft, it wasn't warm, it was nothing like a flesh-and-blood hand.
—It's okay. You can touch me, James —. You moaned against his mouth. Yet he was still a bit reluctant to do so.
In the end, you would have to be the one to gently grab his metal arm and guide his hand to your waist. You kept your hand on top of his metal one while pressing down so he could hold you as tight as he was doing with his other hand, also to assure him that it was okay. You moved your hand from him once you felt his metallic fingers carefully close and grip your body. You smiled in the middle of the kiss, the firm grip of both of his hands encouraged you to grind harder against his crotch.
You pulled his t-shirt over his head and allowed your fingers to travel down his abs until you reached the button and zipper on his jeans. Bucky hissed at the sudden contact and held your hips tighter.
—Wait —. Bucky said against your lips. He pulled away and you were afraid that you had done something wrong. All you had to do was pull down the zipper, but your hands immediately stopped what they were doing when he spoke. You ran your tongue over your lower lip, already missing Bucky's, and you noticed how pink and swollen his were. —It's been a long time since I —. He confessed.
—Oh. —You said in a sigh. —We can't stop if you—
—No. I just— I just wanted you to know. —Bucky groaned. —I'm sorry. I've ruined it. —He let his head fall on your shoulder.
You giggled and you brought your hands to his cheeks so that he would raise his head and look at you. —It's okay, James. You've not ruined anything. I'm glad you've told me. —You gave a quick peck to his lips. —I was just saying that if you want to stop or need to slow down I'm okay with that.
—I don't want to stop.
—Good. Me neither.
And Bucky crashed his lips against yours again. You finished what you started and unzipped his jeans while he pulled from the hem of your shirt and threw it away. Bucky cursed and brought his mouth to the skin of your breasts, using his lips to suck and kiss on it and his teeth for small bites. You moaned and pulled harder from his hair, making him groan. His hands wasted no time and right after they were unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans while his mouth left a trail of kisses from your boobs to your neck and collarbone until he reached your mouth again.
Your lifted your hips from his lap so your hand could sneak inside his underwear. Bucky did the same with your panties. Your fingers wrapped around his hard dick and Bucky's found their way to your clit. You moaned and closed your eyes shut when he started rubbing your bundle of nerves and Bucky's lips parted and let out all the air that he had in his lungs when your hand moved painfully slow from the tip of his cock to the base of it.
You pressed your foreheads together. Your thighs closed around his hand but he continued drawing circles on your clit and his mouth reached for your lips again. Bucky's hips thrust into your fist while some of his moans died in your mouth. He felt a wave of heat running through his body and that sweet knot formed in his lower belly.
—I need you inside, please —You whined.
You didn't have to beg anymore. You moved from his lap so you both could get rid of your jeans and underwear. You straddled him again, using your hands on his shoulders for stability when your fingers brushed the scarred skin that connected with the metal of his arm.
You noticed the worried expression on his face. He was looking at you with his eyebrows raised as if he was waiting for a reaction from you. A reaction of disgust. He could feel his chest rise and fall slowly because of his deep breathing and he was wondering what was going on in your head at the time.
You pressed your lips against his one more time, your hands moved to cup both of his cheeks. —It's okay. Just focus on me —. You mumbled into his mouth and he hummed in response.
Without stopping kissing him, your hands began to travel down. First his neck, then his broad shoulders, feeling again those scars he was so insecure about, and then his arms. His right one was strong, with perfectly defined muscles and the softest skin. His left one was cold and hard, not at all unpleasant to the touch. Your lips moving on his kept Bucky from overthinking.
He gasped when you reached his well-defined abdomen. You would have spent the whole night caressing and feeling his body under your fingertips but you were getting impatient. Your fingers wrapped around the base of his cock to line it up at your entrance and gently lowered yourself. Bucky's mouth opened in a perfect "O" form as he gripped your waist tightly. You had to wait a few seconds to get used to the sensation before you started moving, he needed those seconds as well to get used to your tight walls squeezing him.
You started by rolling your hips against his, it was the best way to adjust to his size. Despite how wet you were you could feel that sweet sting caused by his width. You rested your forehead against his, you both were panting when you began to lift your hips and drop them back onto his cock. The sounds that came out of his mouth were music to your ears, the grunts coming directly from his chest made you vibrate.
You hugged him to feel him even closer. Bucky tried to hold on as hard as he could, he kissed your shoulder and softly sank his teeth into your skin there, getting a whine from you, but it was too much. Every time he felt his dick going fully inside you, the knot on his stomach became tighter, every time he heard you moaning his name in his ear he did his best to last a little bit longer but in the end, he found it impossible.
Bucky emptied himself inside you while he dropped his forehead on your shoulder and apologized for coming so quickly. —Don't worry. We have all night —. You played with the hair on the back of his head and allowed him to come back from his high.
And you spent the whole night until you heard the birds chirping. The stamina he had thanks to the super soldier serum was truly something else and he made it up to you until you felt completely disconnected from your own body and Bucky had to snuggle you next to him on the couch to let you sleep.
Bucky didn't sleep that night. He was afraid that if he did, he'd hurt you or scare you with his nightmares so he stayed awake all night, but he didn't mind either. He had his right arm around you and he held you against his body, your head was on his chest as well as one of your hands. He felt the warmth of your naked body against his under the blanket.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x reader#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky fluff#bucky smut#bucky angst#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky x you#sebastian stan#marvel#the winter soldier#winter soldier#winter soldier smut#marvel smut#marvel angst#marvel fluff#marvel fanfiction#tfatws#tfatws bucky
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that's my arm, believe it or not 🥰
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| Take The Reins | 18+ MINORS DNI
You’ve lived your life being that bitch, completely independent from everyone else. After finding love with Bucky you fell into that leading role, helping the man recover from his years worth of torture and brainwashing. It’s starting to take its toll and Bucky notices.
✧ Author Note ✧ So this was very indulgent and a complete filth fest lmao. It’s been a long time coming but I hope you enjoy this hehe~
✧ Pairing ✧ Dom!Bucky x Sub!Reader
✧ Warnings ✧ Sub!Bucky Dom!Reader to start, Mommy Kink, Withdrawn Consent, Feelings (ew), Daddy Kink, Sweetheart Bucky, Dom!Bucky, Sub!Reader, Established Safeword, Teasing, Dirty Talk, so much dirty talk, praising, Nipple play, Pussy eating, Dumbification, Face sitting (M), Ball Sucking, PinV (unprotected), Mentions of Breeding, Dacryphilia, a teeny amount of aftercare, did I mention this is extremely dirty.
✧ Word Count ✧ 4.2k
Bucky's lips had not pulled themselves from their pout all day, his eyes flickering over the words of his book but not quite taking them in, his mind far too preoccupied on something, someone, else.
It had been like this since yesterday; after coming home from a long mission he wanted nothing more than to pull his pants and briefs off his tired legs and slip into the sheets beside you, you’d treat him right, and you had, your hand and mouth working on his thick neglected length; pushing him past the point of return before bringing him back beside you with sweet praises on your lashing tongue as it greedily sucked up the thick slicked mess he left over his abs.
“Mmm, you’re such a sweet little boy ain’t you?” Your tongue ran up the split in his core, drawing a drool-tinged line up to his sternum before sucking sweet marks back down all the while your hand pumped his aching length between your slender fingers.
Bucky’s headspace slipped for a second at your words, or rather the tonality laced through them; it was lacking its usual sultry touch, instead replaced by something akin to tiredness, it was enough to have Bucky slip back from under you until his wide back connected with the wooden headboard.
“Angel?” His calloused hand slipped under your chin, concerned-looking blue eyes meeting your confused ones, but the exhaustion you thought you hid so expertly was easily noticed by Bucky. His heart clenched and panic settled deep in his gut.
All he’d done was take, fumbling over each orgasm you gave him, he hadn’t even stopped to think of what you needed.
“Let me please you Mommy, wanna make you feel good” if all he did was take before he was prepared to give his girl, his dom all the pleasure she wanted. But you pulled his hands from the side of your sweatpants with a weak smile, leaning forward to kiss away the worried wobble of his lips.
“Mmm mm it’s ok baby boy, I’m just a little tired—just wanna cuddle with you” you soothed, running small thumbs over the back of his veiny hands, turning yourself until you lay in your back and pulling him down until his scruffy beard scraped deliciously over the swell of your breasts.
Bucky laid awake long after you, he’d never seen you less enthusiastic about sex, you were always rearing to go and make him whimper and whine below you, but he willed himself to forget about it for just the time being and get himself some sleep.
Little did Bucky know just how deep the exhaustion ran for you.
You loved Bucky, loved pleasing him, taking control but after over a year of denying that primal urge to have someone take the reins, do all the things you did to Bucky, take control so all you had to worry about was being a good little girl — you were wearing thin.
But telling Bucky this in your eyes would pull his carefully stitched string around his heart and soul too taut and the last thing you wanted was for them to snap because you were too much of a baby to suck up something so silly.
Bucky sucked on his teeth before shutting the book over and making a B-line to where he knew you often cooped yourself up.
-
The gym was empty, the only evidence that someone was there being the heavy smack of first against leather, You panted out a growl as you threw another shot, weaker than the last one which was also weaker than the one before, you were beyond tired but that tangled mess of thoughts in your brain meant that you hadn’t worked out enough stress.
Your thoughts were so loud in your ears that you neglected to notice Bucky’s wide frame as he drew closer until he was almost on top of you.
“Have you stopped at all?” He cringed instantly at the calloused nature of his words, he wanted to sound more concerned yet came across as angry, Bucky Barnes shining through rather than the baby boy you were so used to.
“Gotta keep-“ your words were verbal mush as you pranced around the bag, footing clumsy as sweat dribbled down your forehead and into your eyes. Bucky had enough.
“Ok Stop!!” He growled, metal arm tightening around the thick links holding up the bag, stopping it swinging almost effortlessly. You turned to him, head tilted back as you glared at his dark features.
“Let go of it” You demanded, gaze unwavering against his; usually the shades swimming around your irises would have him on his knees before you, apologising breathlessly but not today, not when you were going to kill yourself if you kept up.
“What is this about?” He asked, clipping his words to give you the idea that he was irritated and worried rather than panicked and guilty. You stood your ground for a moment longer before your shoulders sagged and you dropped like a sack onto the floor, shaky fingers clutching your bottle as you greedily sucked down your water.
You knew it would get worse if you kept it hidden from him and a part of you felt more guilty now that you had used the guise of ‘protecting’ him to cover the way you truly felt, so you heaved a breath and spoke.
“I-just…I’m tired Bucky, it’s been a long time coming but last night when you came home, god you looked so fucking hot, all I could think about was me below you while you took the reins.” You picked at the broken skin around your nails as you spoke, your eyes darting anywhere but him as you felt him squat down to your level.
“All my life I’ve done my own thing, been independent and taken control…I guess it’s just weighing on me now. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that- I need to let go, take my foot off the gas and let someone take control, I didn’t wanna tell you because I know how hard it’s been for you and control was a big thi-“ his plump lips securing yours in a passionate lip lock had your words fading into nothingness, Bucky’s scent being the only thing your brain could truly focus on— he often had that effect on you.
“You want me to take the lead baby?” god his voice was so deep, dark locks framing his deep-coloured eyes as they studied you amorously, taking in each subtle detail of your face as the frown you held melted into something weaker - vulnerability.
You nodded softly, doe-like eyes falling from his steely gaze as trickles of submission pumped through your spine to the tips of your digits, this is what it must’ve felt like for Bucky. His big hands cupped both sides of your face and pulled it with a tug to face his dead-on.
“Words angel…otherwise, I don’t know what you want” The look he fixed you with was almost mocking as he spoke like you were a child, barely able to understand a word he said.
“I want you to take control Buck, make me feel good” you whined, internally just a little concerned at how easily you slipped into the role but Bucky had a way of making sure you were safe to lose yourself when he was around.
“Ok baby” he whispered against your forehead, lips pressing delicately against the sweaty skin before he pulled you up and into his arms.
“Daddy’ll help you clean up then he’ll make you feel good, promise” he bit back a smile when you hummed and sunk into his beefy frame.
-
Bucky took his time cleaning you up, tentatively scrubbing your body wash into your skin, his thumbs digging into the knots of your body until you were limber.
Your feet had barely touched the ground since he’d pulled you from the gym, there was no need, bucky thought, he was big enough to move you.
“There we are” he smiled airily as he set your towel-wrapped frame onto the plush bed.
“Now some ground rules baby; we’ll use the traffic light system ok? If you don’t like anything you tell me and I’ll stop right away, I’ll be mad if you don’t. You’ll answer when I ask you questions with your words only unless you can’t, and you’ll be a good girl and have fun” His smile widened when you gave him a small nod followed by a soft ‘yes’.
Bucky’s wide hands ran up your thighs, fingertips venturing just under the towel before he scraped his nails back down, drawing a teased whine from you.
“Mm gonna make you feel so good angel…wish you would’ve told me sooner this is what you wanted” he whispered huskily, pushing you until your back met the mattress before his fingers gripped your wrists and sat them one over the other above your head.
“Keep em there”
He leaned down, tongue wetting his lips before it slipped into your ajar mouth, pushing against your own, suckling slightly on it when he pulled back and your tongue chased him out of your mouth. He took his sweet time unwrapping the front of the towel, your whimpers of impatience music to his ears.
“Mm, what’s wrong baby? You whining because I’m taking my sweet time? Now that’s not being very good is it…you lie there and keep that pretty mouth quiet unless it’s moans of pleasure alright? Wouldn’t wanna punish you so early” his face split in a shit-eating grin as he whipped the towel from your front, exposing your delicate front to him, your nipples pebbling at the gentle breeze falling from his nose and fanning down the swell of your tits, snaking down the valley like a hot river.
“Fuckkk these tits, always so fucking hot—loved when they would bounce up and down in my face while you rode me Mommy” Your body jerked violently under his at the name; the usual breath tone that accompanied it was long gone, replaced with a deep growly timbre that made the insides of your thighs slick with your juices.
“You smell fucking good angel, you soaking yourself thinking bout me? Don’t even try shaking that head” he mumbled around a mouthful of breast, teeth and tongue grazing over it, sucking it into his mouth before sinking his pearly whites gently causing you to shriek and the mismatched feelings. While his tongue lashed over one of your hardened buds his metal thumb circled the other gently like it was your puffy little clit.
“Please!!!—“ you begged, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as your legs hitched up onto the bed; his abs ran against your little clit’s hood sending shockwaves over you, and your back arched as your hips ground into the muscle more.
Bucky tut, pulling away from you completely, an incredulous laugh falling from his mouth as he gazed down at his shiny abdomen. You’d fucking soaked him, your desperate grinding slickening his corded muscle. You shut your legs in embarrassment as his fingers ran over the essence and slipped into his mouth.
“Mmm shit angel tastes so good, open those fucking legs” he groaned, knees thumping painfully against the ground but all he was focused on was the sopping meal in front of him.
“Look at you…always knew you were a desperate slut, put your hands in daddy’s hair while he eats you out’ love it when you pull on it” his wide tongue covered the expanse of your slit and folds as he hungrily lapped up the juices, letting out a satisfied hum when a graze of his teeth on your aching pearl and more juices slipping unabashedly from your tight hole.
Bucky sucked on your folds like a man starved; mouth open wide as his thick tongue devoured you, circling your clit before dipping down and slipping his tongue as far as it would go into your weeping hole. He hummed delightfully as you pulled on his locks, his head shaking from side to side, your juices flicking all over the place—you just knew there would’ve been a wet patch all over the bed if it weren’t for your towel but as Bucky continued you weren't sure the towel would stop it.
Bucky was lost in the taste of your pussy, cerulean eyes glazed over, a concentrating stare directed up your body, watching as it jerked and shuddered at his relentless torment.
“You enjoying this sweetheart? You love it when you can go all dumb don’t you…just wait till daddy has you on his dick, I’ll fuck you right baby you don’t have to worry about that” his growls vibrated against your lips and straight to the tight knot coiling in your belly.
You cried out as his nose rubbed against your sweet little pearl, his tongue curling up inside you, his metal hand pressing onto your pubic bone keeping you firmly planted to the bed. His efforts doubled at your garbled pleas and tears.
“Aww gonna come angel? Gonna soak Daddy’s face yeah? Mmm come on sweet girl come all over my fucking face” he moaned through a mouthful of your pussy, eyes shutting as you jerked and shook, your thighs clamping down onto the side of his head.
“Good fucking girl that’s it yeah your feeding daddy so well mama’ giving me your sweet little juices” The words oozed from Bucky’s wet mouth filthily while his thumb rubbed gently over your sensitive clit, his hand only stopping when you whined weakly and pushed on his rippling forearm.
Bucky rose, his fingers shaking as he struggled with the button on his jeans; his cock bulged dramatically against the front, his thighs filling out the denim in a way that should’ve been illegal.
“Fucking shit” he grumbled before a light popped aired around the room, his button pinging to the other side of the room as he impatiently tore down the denim along with his grey briefs before he ripped the henly over his head. If you thought he looked good clothed your mouth ran dry at the sight of his naked form, his tanned skin layered over stacks of muscles, stretching and compressing with each movement he made as he straddled your much smaller frame, his tree trunk-sized thighs caging you in.
“I wanna try something angel, you wanna taste Daddy?” He groaned, hair curling down his built shoulders as his head rolled back, he poked his tongue out to wet his lips, muffling his soft sounds as his hand jerked over his heavy length. He was kneeling over your breasts, the head of his cock positioned perfectly over your lips; when a bead of his precum slipped from his tip your mouth parted in anticipation, watching it trail down and almost fall but his fingers caught it first.
“Answer me babydoll” he reprimanded your silence.
“Wanna taste you Daddy please” god you were so pathetic but you were loving it; it was such a far cry from the role you played just yesterday that it almost gave you whiplash but Bucky was there, he’d make sure you were alright.
“Well, I wanna save my cock for that pretty pussy so how about I sit on that pretty face and you can suck on my balls, how’s that sound?” You gaped, whine falling unruly from your greedy mouth at even just the thought; a simple glance down the way would let you see just how heavy his sac was as it hung and suddenly you wanted nothing more than to massage them with your tongue.
You nodded frantically “Wanna lick your balls Daddy please lemme suck on them…sit on my face and give me them Daddy”
“Ok angel” he smiled, metal fingers cupping your chin and forcing you to look up at his hair-framed face “But you’ll tap my thigh if you wanna stop won’t you?” He asked, dominant edge replaced with soft tones; the last thing he wanted was to push you too far and you’d have no way to stop him.
“I will just hurry” you whimpered, hands grasping the plush cheeks of his ass and weakly pushing his body, attempting to manoeuvre him to your face. He chuckled before giving you what you want.
Bucky never thought that having his balls played with would ever feel as good as it did. In the 40s he’d had one relationship that led to the bedroom but the girl wouldn’t do anything like you would. His blue eyes blared down at you, your gazes meeting as your tongue worked over his sac expertly, lips closing around the soft skin and sucking on one before moving to another—bucky could hardly control himself when you giggled against him at the sight of his fucked out face, he could feel his control slipping into that sub headspace he was so used to but your glazed over orbs made sure he never got too far. He had his perfect girl to take care of and he was gonna damn well do his job.
“Fuck baby-ohh, ain’t ever felt something so good…you like daddy’s balls, don’t you? Mm fuck gonna come soon angel” his confession spurred you on, messily, you sucked both his balls in; a moan flowing from your mouth freely at the stretch of your jaw. Bucky fumbled, his legs slipping and his weight leaning more on your face before his titanium fingers fisted the sheets above your head, making sure he didn’t crush you.
He was losing his marbles, head buzzing so loud in his ears he couldn’t control the breathy moans falling from his lips, he had to move or he’d come.
“Stop baby” he lifted slightly; the whimper coming from you as you followed his movement almost made him go crazy, the urge to plank his entire weight on your mouth almost too much but he shook his head.
“Ah ah angel, wanna come in you— breed that fucking cunt” he rambled. snaking down till his lips were level with yours he kissed you sweetly, your taste still present on his lips and tongue as it messed around with your own.
“You're doing so good for me sweet baby, you wanna keep going? Want me to make you come on my cock huh, breed you fucking full…maybe you’ll let me in that little ass after, pump both your holes full of me—fuck” his hand darted down to squeeze his length, a long throaty groan escaping him and onto your face.
“Shit” he chuckled “just fucking thinking of my dick splitting you in two almost had me cumming mama, your insatiable” his lips fell onto yours again, tongue swiping violently against yours now.
He growled into your mouth as his raging head swiped over your sopping slit, catching on the underside of your pearl, he smacked himself there a few times before slipping back down.
“Colour baby” he whispered, flesh thumb and index finger pinching your chin and bringing you back to him.
“So green Daddy, so fucking green” you cried, eyes glazed over and brain almost mush. This is what you wanted; you were finally letting go and it felt amazing, Bucky was taking such good care of you, teetering on the edge of handling you like fine china and pushing you around like some common whore—a perfect balance.
With prep, Bucky was difficult to take inside but now it felt like a whole different ballgame. An almost sobbed whimper fell from his lips as his cock pushed in, his teeth biting his lower lip firmly, his metal hand carding through your hair until it rested against your scalp. He was so close; so ready to cum in you that it was almost painful to keep his core tight and his balls from spilling. After much effort he was fully inside, curled hair at the base of his cock tickling your labia, his balls resting against your perineum.
You sobbed against his shoulder, arms wrapped around his back, your nails leaving crescent shapes over the muscle while your legs wrapped themselves over his ass, keeping him still inside you.
“Colour angel come on, you don’t gotta keep going” his lips brushed your ear as worry littered his voice. He’d never seen you like this, so…cockdrunk; your eyes rolling to the back of your skull as tears slipped down your face and into your hair. You had so much control of yourself and your life, part of the reason he’d been so enamoured by you was because you’d had a life like his yet bounced back and reclaimed yourself. He knew it was hard for you, he’d comforted you during those times it got bad but he’d never witnessed you giving in so easily— giving yourself to him in the same way he’d give himself to you— it worried him but his heart swelled with pride and love most of all. You’d let him be the decision maker and he wanted to make sure he hadn’t taken too much.
“Green daddy… I'm sorry just-its a little overwhelming” you babbled, your fingers lifting a little and your head flopping back onto the bed to catch his eyes; they swam with nothing but love and awe.
“That’s ok baby, you want me to fuck you nice and slow? I’ll take care of you” his lips pecked your own, dog tags resting on your sternum.
“No Daddy, want you to use me…want you to breed me”.
Bucky was a man of service and he was going to service his sweet little girl in the way she wanted. He pulled out with a loud shlurp until only his head stayed inside before plunging in again. He thrust gently a few times until you loosened up a little, and then his thrust became more powerful, balls slapping into a mixture of your juices and his precum.
“Ohhh fuck—so tight for me sweetheart, you like it when I breed you huh? Bet that dumb little fucking brain is just thinking of nothing but my cock and cum filling you up…oh mama gonna make you so round, watch those tits swell up until they can’t fit in those fucking sexy bras mmmm” Whatever control Bucky had on himself was gone. He thrust quickly, the bed creaking under each slap of his hips into you. You couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, everything was Bucky—and you couldn’t have been happier about it.
“Fuck daddy” you slurred, there was that familiar coiling in your stomach, every nerve in your body pleading to let go “Gonna cum Daddy” the words fell from you like a chant.
“That’s it, sweetness, come for your daddy…milk my fucking cock” and you did. Your pussy clenched tight, your mouth opened in a high-pitched cry, your arms and legs clinging tightly to Bucky as he sent you to the moon and back.
“FUCK—I’m gonna fucking come baby, oh shit mama gonna breed you so good, you want me to breed you? Tell me you fucking want it baby, tell me” he snarled, teeth securing themselves around your earlobe as his thrusts grew sloppy.
“Ahh wan it so bad…hah Bucky” was all you could muster as his cock plunged deep one last time. He moaned loudly, fucking his cock into your cervix as he came
“mmmm fucking hell baby” he laughed breathlessly as he lay on top of you; body tremoring as his orgasm subsided—then all of his attention was on you.
“You alright angel?” He hissed as he slipped out and scooped you up into his arms, ignoring the slight whine of protest and your aching muscles moved against their will. His lips smothered you in soft kisses, his fingers rubbing over all of your body and smoothing out your hair.
“Mmm,” you mumbled, sniffing back your tears. Bucky had been everything you wanted and more but with emotions running high you broke down.
“Fuck did I hurt you babydoll?” He worried, had you lied to him? You seemed to be enjoying it but were you just afraid that you’d dug yourself too deep; his thoughts returned from last night as well—maybe you just never wanted him at all.
Sensing his worried thoughts like you normally would, you had a knack for it, your thumb smoothed over the crease between his brows before you leaned forward and planted a soft kiss there
“I enjoyed it all Buck, too much if anything” You laughed at the last part and it coaxed Bucky to chuckle too.
“Come on; gotta get you cleaned up” He kissed you softly before beginning to move but you gripped the sheets tightly, stopping him.
“Mmm just wanna sleep right now buck” you argued. Any other night Bucky would have argued, that he loved showering you after sex, it grounded him. But the look on your face was one he couldn't resist so he sank back down against the pillows, his foot kicking the soaked towel to the floor.
“Alright but once we get up it’s straight to the shower” he mumbled against your hair, his metal fingers running down the column of your spine.
“Round two in there?” You cracked an eye open to watch him as you spoke.
“You’re gonna kill me woman” he groaned but his cock twitched softly against his thigh.
You’d get your round two, and round three…..and four.
✧ ✧
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#bucky barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky#bucky x female reader#bucky x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky x you#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky fanfic#fic rec#bucky barnes x reader#mcu bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagine#james barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes content#bucky x female yn#sebastian stan characters#sebastian stan
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All Around Me
Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x Fem!Reader
Summary: He was everywhere, all around you in the best way possible
Content Warning: Beefy!Bucky is a warning; established relationship; language; smut; vaginal sex; unprotected sex (do better); vaginal fingering; multiple orgasms; language; possible mentions of bodily fluids; Bucky's metal arm probably; fluff; whatever else I failed to mention
Word Count: 1237
Note: Was this requested? I believe it was, but Tumblr won't let me see my inboxes. I hope you guys like this. I'll come back here and there to make some edits where it's necessary. Any gifs or pictures I use are not mine.
Gentle reminder that I am always open for feedback! 💕
You gasped, eyes fluttering shut and mouth hanging open. Your legs were spread, his hand buried deep in your core, working you slowly to a much-needed release. His fingers were thick and calloused, the feeling sending shocks of pleasure up your spine. His thumb worked your swollen bundle of nerves, making the pleasure even more amazing. He'd already gotten two orgasms out of you with his fingers alone; he was determined to get a third.
"Bucky," you whimpered, moaning at how he stretched your drenched core. "Oh, baby—"
His head buried in your neck, his lips kissing along your neck, giving the occasional nip and bite at your sensitive spot. His body partially hovered over you as his fingers picked up their pace. He knew you were getting close—you were fluttering around him, and he wanted to see you come undone.
"Doin' so good, sweetheart," he murmured; his voice was thick with arousal. "You gonna cum for me?"
You nodded, his fingers working wonders on you. He gave your clit a final swipe with his calloused thumb, and you were a moaning mess. Your back arched, arousal coating his flesh hand as your release overtook you. Bucky continued to pump you, his lips and teeth working your neck as your high started to dwindle. He stopped when you jerked your hips. When he removed his hand, he placed his arousal-soaked fingers on your bottom lip. He lifted his head from your neck to watch you. You opened your mouth and sucked on them, moaning at the taste.
That was something you noticed early on with Bucky. He loved watching you suck on the fingers he fucked you with. You'd see his stormy eyes cloud over even more, and it only worked you up even more.
You took his fingers out with a visible 'pop,' and a soft groan came from Bucky. You could feel the weight of his arousal on your side. Your skin broke out into goosebumps. He was a big guy in every aspect. His arousal was thick and heavy, stretching you in a way that burned and pleasured you at the same time. It left you feeling full but wanting more.
Bucky leaned forward and kissed you, his lips fitting perfectly against yours. As his lips worked against yours, he gently nudged you with his nose—a request to open your mouth. You did, and his tongue found yours instantly. As the make-out progressed, he moved his body to be on top of you. He rested his weight on his arms, his metal one letting out an occasional whirring sound. Your hands tangled in his hair, angling your head to get more of him. You let out another gasp when he nipped your bottom lip.
"Are you ready?" he asked softly. You nodded. "I need to hear you say it."
"Yes," you responded breathlessly. Bucky gave you another open-mouthed kiss before resting his forehead against yours. Your hands moved to his shoulders, waiting in anticipation. His arousal laid heavily on your stomach during the make-out session, and you felt his hand gently brush your side as he moved to grab it. You felt his fingers curl around his length, and you spread your legs even further. The thick head of his length brushed against your core, and you let out a breathy sigh.
Bucky pushed his tip in, watching your eyes flutter shut and your mouth fall open. "Oh," you hummed, biting your bottom lip. Your cheeks and chest were flushed, and Bucky knew he needed more. He loved seeing you lose yourself on his fingers, but on his cock was something else. He continued pushing himself in; the feeling of your wet heat fluttering, so tight and delicious, around him was all he could focus on. Fully sheathed inside you, the two of you were breathing heavily.
"Please," you panted. "Baby, please." You felt full, nearly split open from the length and girth of your boyfriend. You wanted more—you needed more.
Bucky was drunk on the feeling of you. His brain was foggy, and his eyes clouded as he hovered over you. Without a word, the ex-assassin began rolling his hips against yours. He watched hungrily as you moaned, your breasts bouncing in time with his thrusts. You moved along the pillow with each thrust that met your hips. Your hands went from his shoulders to his back, nails digging into the muscled skin. You continued to flutter around him. Bucky dropped his head to your neck.
Bucky was all around you—inside you, on top of you. You were surrounded by his smell, by the feeling of him. You felt every ridge and vein; you felt his head buried in your neck. His hair tickled against your skin, and you felt how short his breaths were. You wished you could stay this way forever. When you felt his metal arm slide down your stomach to your swollen bundle of nerves, you gasped. His length alone was enough to bring you over the edge—the coil inside you was tightening with each thrust, but the harsh movements of his hands on your sensitive nerves only brought you closer.
His rhythm was getting sloppy, harsher as he chased his own release. "I'm—I'm so…" you moaned. Bucky nodded against your neck, nipping at your soft skin. He needed you to go first. He felt the pressure in him building, almost too much until—
Bucky let out a heavy groan. He spilled inside you, rope after rope of his release coating your walls and filling you even more. The ex-assassin kept rutting into you, hoping to make his high last just a little longer. He heard you moan beneath him, and embarrassment mixed with his pleasure. Bucky paused his movements, breathing heavily.
"Baby?" you hummed. "Are you—"
"I'm sorry," he mumbled. His member continued to twitch inside you, his release still stuffing you full. "Fuck—I'm so sorry."
You gently tugged at his hair and he pulled his head up. Bucky's cheeks were flushed, a heavy frown on his lips. "Don't apologize," you rasped. "I don't care, really."
"You're supposed—"
"No," you interrupted. You could feel him begin to soften inside you. "Not always. It's fine if you're first. I like it."
Bucky looked at you. You were smiling, eyes filled with adoration. One of your hands cupped his cheek. You were saying so much with just your eyes, it eased the emotions inside Bucky.
"At least let me return the favor." He gave you an almost pleading look.
"I'd love you to."
Bucky smiled and gave a single nod. His metal hand continued its work on your clit, rubbing the nerves in harsh circles. You let out a soft moan, pulling Bucky's lips to yours. The kiss was sloppy and desperate. The coil in you was getting tighter and tighter; your moans were getting higher and higher. The cool metal from his fingers contrasted with your heated skin; it made you feel even better. With one last swipe, you tumbled over the edge, moaning and whining against Bucky's lips. Your body trembled under his, wave after wave of pleasure washing over you like a tsunami.
Bucky kept working you, hoping to make your release last longer. Once it came down, your lips pulled apart. You saw how swollen and spit-covered Bucky's mouth was, and you had no doubt yours was the same. But God, if he didn't look beautiful.
Masterlist
Taglist: @staria9100 @cuddlefishextrodinaire @radcollectivesoul @ramielll @identity2212 @lelialynn @whiminiferous @gracescor3 @winterslove1917 @hailycheyenne @dp-marvel94 @queerponcho @mysterystrawberrynigt @oscarissac2099
#fanfiction#avengers#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#avengers x reader#marvel x reader#marvel cinematic universe x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#avengers fanfiction#smut#marvel cinematic universe smut#avengers smut#bucky barnes fanfiction#sebastian stan
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😠 | 😠
#marvel#sebastian stan#tfatws#sambucky#sam wilson#anthony mackie#stackie#mcu#the falcon and the winter soldier#captain america sam wilson#captain america#the falcon#the winter soldier#white wolf
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Happy Pride Month!
#brie larson#tessa thompson#sebastian stan#tom hiddleston#marvel cast#marvel#marvel x reader#mcu#avengers#avengers x reader#the avengers#happy pride 🌈#happy pride month#lgbtqia+#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbtq+#lgbtq community#lgbt#lgbt pride#pride#pride month#bisexual#transgender#queer
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SEBASTIAN STAN & EMILY GERSON At The 77th Annual Cannes Film Festival.
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#shampoo commercial#vidal sassoon#lol jokes#sebastian stan#his hair 😍#Cannes#cannes photocall#the apprentice
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