saw someone say their stomach isnt growling cuz its hungry its purring cuz theres a cat and we cant suffocate the cat with food the cat's purring thanking you for not suffocating it--- im living by that and have been for the past week
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I'm sorry a TURKEY did WHAT to your mother's contact lens?? HOW??????
Right, yeah. So we had this turkey when I was growing up. And we raised this fucker from a tiny little baby, hand fed him, just doted on him. He was our first turkey ever. My mom called him Tom.
One day, she needed to work in a pasture so the flock of assorted fowl, (chickens, geese, and Tom) needed to be gently herded into an auxiliary pasture for the time being. The geese were biddable enough, the chickens ran ahead.
But Tom was not feeling it. He puffed up in irritation and my mom leaned down with her arms spread to usher Tom through the gate. Tom parked it. He turned to regard my mom with avian malice. And as she leaned down he shot out his horrible bald head and pecked her eye.
My mom screamed and fell backward, flailing enough that Tom fled through the gate anyway. When she recovered herself she came back inside, shaken and furious.
She checked out her eye and found it miraculously undamaged after the assault. It was like an hour later when she realized her contact lens was missing and the whole family speculated that it had saved her eye from Tom’s attack.
Tom did not live to see another sunrise.
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