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#but like...i didn't want to pay $45 for something that i wasn't responsible for lol
awlumii · 2 years
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rain check.
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# — pairing: (spidey!)kazuha x gn!reader
# — characters: gender neutral reader, kazuha
# — warnings: n/a
# — summary: "i'm late, i'm late! for a very important date! no time to say 'hello, goodbye,' i'm late, i'm late, i'm late!" — white rabbit, alice in wonderland
# — tags: spidey!kazuha au, fluff, brief angst, making up, getting together, there's kisses involved, reader's also a simp (lol)
# — notes: [stands awkwardly in the corner] heyy... i tried my hand at the au again... as always, reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated, and i really hope you enjoy this!
wanna join the tag list?
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✧ — 🍁 + 🕷 — ✧
the meeting time was 7:30 pm originally.
7:45 pm. the waitstaff asked you if you wanted to order anything. you politely declined and informed them that you'd order when your date arrived.
8:15 pm. you texted kazuha and got no response. you eventually grew impatient and reluctantly ordered food for yourself. your face burned at the looks of pity you received from the employees.
8:45 pm. you still didn't get a response from kazuha. you tried not to text him too frequently in fear of sounding clingy or belligerent, but after an hour or so of radio silence, you couldn't help but triple (or even quadruple) text him.
9:00 pm. you check your phone. still no response from kazuha.
9:15 pm. you figured that dessert wouldn't hurt, but it was hard to stomach what with the waitstaff watching you from afar. if you strained your ears, you could hear them whispering something about a customer being stood up and having to eat alone.
9:30 pm. you didn't eat the dessert.
9:45 pm. you asked for the check. they refused to give you one. they gave you their pity instead.
10:00 pm. you left.
10:05 pm. five minutes after you started walking home, there was a blinding flash of lightning. that was the only warning you received before the skies opened up.
the frigid rain seeps through your clothes and chills you to the bone. surprisingly, it's not as unpleasant as it sounds; you were starting to feel a little numb, anyway. quiet splashes echo from the sidewalk as you drag yourself home. people pass you by one after the other, each with umbrellas, but you pay them no mind. you continue on your way.
maybe you're being dramatic, but you feel like shit right now.
when kazuha first suggested going to such a nice restaurant, you were a little hesitant to agree. never mind your preferences — kazuha isn't one for lavish affairs. he's told you as much before. even if the place wasn't super pricey, the ambience seemed to be a bit too much for his tastes. it took some coaxing on his part — he said he wanted to ask you something important, which only served to make your stomach twist into knots — but in the end, he finally got you to say yes. (truthfully, you folded as soon as he took your hands in his — you really need to learn to say no to him.)
it wasn't until you were getting ready to leave that you realized that this was going to be your tenth date with kazuha. is that why he was so insistent on going somewhere nice? you thought it adorable that he seemed to be keeping track of the number of dates the two of you have been on. it made you excited to see him — so excited in fact, that you showed up fifteen minutes early.
and yet in spite of this whole thing being his idea, kazuha never showed up, leaving you to make a fool of yourself in one of the nicest restaurants in the city.
"knew i should've stayed home," you grumble as you trudge through the downpour. you're totally lying to yourself; you had no intention of saying no to him. kazuha could suggest anything and you know you'd agree at the drop of a hat. but as they say, hindsight is 20/20; you should have dug your heels in and said no and suggested something else — maybe something that didn't involve you looking like a fucking moron at a restaurant.
your vision blurs suddenly, forcing you to come to a halt. you think it's because of the torrential rain, but the heat radiating off of your cheeks tells you otherwise. you wipe your eyes free of water — a futile effort — and chuckle humorlessly to yourself. why are you doing this? it's not like anybody's going to notice, right? you sniffle; that can easily be because you're cold and wet.
you sob. you tell yourself it's just a cough.
stop being so dramatic. keep walking.
the second you turn onto a narrow street, you hear a familiar thwip-! coming from overhead. you barely have time to acknowledge that spider-man is swinging around before he's landing right in front of you, blocking your path. you brush rainwater (and tears) out of your eyes to see him better. "you're, uh, kinda in my way, spider-man," you call out over the downpour. "could you move so i can go home?"
"what're you doing out here without an umbrella?" spider-man asks. he doesn't move like you asked; he just steps closer. and if you strain your ears a little, you think he sounds really worried. maybe you're just hearing things. "you're drenched! you're going to get sick at this rate."
for some reason, his concern makes you want to laugh. you crack a smile, though there's very little joy to be found in it. "i'm just taking a nightly stroll." you lie. "and don't worry, i won't get sick. i'm the nurse here, remember? now could you move, please?"
you step around him and start to walk past, but he grabs your arm, stopping you. why is he being like this? what is it with the men in your life tonight? "i... can't be too sure that you'll go straight home." he lets you go and holds out his hands for you to take. "at the very least, allow me to take you."
you make a face. "shouldn't you be saving someone somewhere?"
"i'm offering to take you somewhere, aren't i?" he asks. it sounds more like a retort to you. "and aren't you someone?"
"uh-huh. and what are you saving me from, exactly?"
"if we move fast enough, probably a really bad head cold." spider-man shakes his hand, silently urging you to take it. "come on. i can't have my doctor getting sick, can i?"
you sigh. you don't have it in you to turn down his offer. you never do, now that you're thinking about it. you should really do some self-evaluation. besides, the rain is fucking freezing — it felt nice a few minutes ago, but you can feel yourself starting to shiver and shake. that cold may just catch you regardless of how quickly you get home. "fine," you say and take his hand.
spider-man pulls you in by your hand and wraps an arm around your waist. instinctively, you cling to him as tightly as you can. he's as warm as ever, you note, even in the freezing rain. at this distance, you hear him chuckle: "at least you know to hold on tight." you get no other warning before he's zipping through the air with you in tow. you shriek at the sudden movement, but spider-man only laughs. "you're alright," he reassures you over the wind.
in no time at all, you're being rested on your balcony. you slide open the door and stumble into your apartment on wobbly knees, ignoring spider-man's amused laughter. "you're like a baby deer every time," he giggles. "are you not used to it yet?"
"stop making it sound like i'm the weird one here." you grumble as you lower yourself into a chair. your body feels too stiff and heavy to move. you're still drenched, but all you can do right now is shiver in your seat. meanwhile, spider-man isn't making any moves to leave. he's just watching you — or at least, you think he is. "what're you s-standing there for?" you stutter. you're cold. "what's the matter?"
spider-man puts his hand on the back of his neck and rubs it awkwardly. are you missing something right now? why is he suddenly acting like this? "are you... going to tell me why you were walking in the rain?" he holds the back of his neck, his eyes seemingly still on you. "i refuse to believe that you were taking a 'nightly stroll'." he uses air quotes to repeat your earlier words.
you laugh shakily. "are you interrogating me, spider-man?"
for once, he doesn't laugh with you. "i... just want to know. i'll leave you alone as soon as you tell me; you need to go and warm up."
you open your mouth to explain, but as you look back on the whole incident, you once again feel embarrassment take you by the shoulders. why were you really walking home in the rain? you could've ducked into a store and called a cab or taken public transportation -- what possessed you to do something so childish? your skin, though clammy, heats up as you avert your eyes.
you press your palm against your lips, muffling your voice. "i was, uh... stood up."
"...really now?"
you grimace and nod. "it was, um... supposed to be our tenth date, actually." you recall the blush that coated kazuha's cheeks when he asked you out the other day, and you start to feel the beginnings of a smile on your face. he's so cute — you'd give anything to see him right now.
because as upset as you may have been earlier, you realize that deep down, you just really want to be with kazuha. you're pissed that he still hasn't contacted you yet, but you have faith that he will; this kind of discourtesy isn't like him.
spider-man doesn't know that, though. he makes a noise of disapproval. "pardon my harsh language, songbird," he comments, "but he sounds like an asshole."
you gasp, scandalized. you've never heard him swear before. it sounds so wrong coming from him — was he really that upset about you being stood up? why did that thought make your heart skip a beat? "don't say something like that!" you open your mouth to continue chastising him, but instead you sneeze, hard. you groan and rise to your feet. if you don't move now, you really will catch that cold. "say something bad about my boyfriend again, and i'll fight your face off." you call over your shoulder as you head to your bathroom.
"your boyfriend?" spider-man's words give you pause. you whirl around to glare at him, ready to retort and defend yourself, but he puts his hands up in mock surrender. "you said it, not me. but i must say," he lays his hand over his chest, "i'm wounded, songbird. and here i thought i stood a chance."
you freeze. he thought what?! your mind starts to race immediately, but you reel yourself in quickly. your feelings for spider-man are supposed to be a thing of the past. they were childish and impractical — kazuha is the better choice in every way possible. remember that, you tell yourself.
you flip him off with a sigh. "get out, webhead. i'm going to warm up."
spider-man shrugs, the perfect picture of nonchalance. if only he knew the things he did to your head. "alright, alright." he heads back to your balcony. "take care of yourself, okay?" he calls out to you.
"whatever!" you call back.
with a laugh, he leaps off of your balcony and swings into the stormy night, leaving you dripping in your hallway. you shake your head and start towards your bathroom.
once you've taken a hot shower and put on some warm, dry clothes, you drop yourself onto your couch and turn your tv on. you're not really watching anything, but the background noise is nice. you lay yourself down and roll onto your back.
so the date was a bust. you sigh heavily. that restaurant was so, so nice, too. the atmosphere was perfect — you're pretty sure that if kazuha had asked you to be his partner there, you might have cried. that, or you would have passed out; either one seems likely. you pause for a second. is that what he was going to ask you? oh, you definitely would've cried.
are you really upset about being stood up? you gave it some thought while you were in the shower and decided that no, you're not all that upset. at least, not with kazuha. embarrassed, yes — you can never show your face at that restaurant again — but not upset. kazuha's track record speaks for itself; you can always re-schedule the date.
again, you sigh. you're much too nice to him. simp.
you're about to change the channel on the tv when you hear a frantic knocking on your front door. you jump, startled by the sudden noise. hesitant, you make your way to the door. "uh, who is it?" you call out.
the voice from behind the door makes your stomach flip. "it's kazuha. can i see you? please?"
kazuha? he came here?
you look through your peephole and sure enough, kazuha is standing in front of your door looking very winded, very distressed, and very drenched. without thinking twice, you fling your door open and tug him inside. "what were you thinking, coming here in this weather without an umbrella?!" you hiss at him as you take in his rain soaked state. under any other circumstances, you'd be gentler with him — normally you would never be so snappy with him — but all that's on your mind as you dart over to your linen closet is how sick he's going to be because of this.
kazuha's eyes widen at your tone. "i had to come and see you," he tries to explain. "i--"
you don't let him finish. you drop a soft towel over his head and start rubbing him dry, ignoring the startled noise he makes. "you're still catching your breath, too. christ, did you run here or something?"
you move the towel so that you can see kazuha's face. he looks so apologetic and honestly, really cute with his face peeking out from under the towel. "if i said yes, would you be upset with me?"
"what the-- yes!" you head back over to your linen closet and grab a bigger towel before marching into your room to rifle through your stuff. you can't believe he risked a catching a cold like this! and for what? just to see you? you stop for a moment and recognize just how romantic his gesture is supposed to be. his sprinting all the way to your apartment (and judging by the way his chest was heaving, up the stairs, too) in the freezing rain makes your heart stutter — to think he would go this far just to see you... you shake your head. you can be flattered after he's dry. you hear a quiet sneeze from outside your room and quickly head back out to see kazuha rubbing at his nose.
you shove the clothes you found into his arms along with the towel. "go and take a shower and put these on." you shake your head when he starts to talk back. "nope, i don't want to hear it. when you're done, leave your clothes in the sink and i'll wash and dry them."
"this is--"
"kazuha." your tone is flat and leaves no room for argument. you raise a brow at him and he stares at you for just a second longer before doing as you said. once the bathroom door is closed, you drop yourself back on your couch and bury your face in your hands.
you thought that you weren't upset, but now that he's actually here, you're not quite sure what it is you're feeling. are you pissed because he risked his health to see you? or do you want to punch him for standing you up tonight? well, you think to yourself, he wouldn't have run in the rain if he didn't feel bad about the whole date situation. you look at the bathroom door with a tiny smile. he can be such a charmer when he wants to be — an impulsive one, but a charmer nonetheless. you decide that you're definitely just upset at him for being so stupid.
time passes and eventually kazuha emerges from your bathroom in the large hoodie and sweatpants you forced upon him. he looks adorable in your clothes. you tell him to make himself comfortable before tossing his clothes in the laundry. when you come back, you seat yourself beside him. he seems to be making himself small — either that or he's just drowning in the clothes you gave him. "am i allowed to speak now?" he asks quietly.
you snort. "yes, kazuha, you can speak now."
"i'm really sorry." kazuha's eyes are on you, and you can see the remorse swimming in them. he looks like he's gauging your reaction for permission to continue. when you say nothing, he goes on: "i swear to you, i was on my way there when something suddenly came up," he continues. "it was urgent and demanded all of my attention. i must have gotten so absorbed that i'd forgotten to contact you. by the time everything had finished, it was incredibly late and i figured that you must've gone home, so i..." he trails off.
you tilt your head. "so you ran here?"
kazuha nods. "i... didn't realize doing so would upset you so much. so please, allow me to apologize for that as well. i know my excuse may sound generic and unsatisfying, but you have to believe me when i say that i'm telling the truth.
well, there it is. there's your apology. you press your lips together to fight off a smile. "i believe you just fine," you say. "and i forgive you."
he blinks in disbelief. "are... you sure? aren't you upset with me?"
"do you want me to be?"
"you should be." kazuha winces. this is seriously eating at him; his brows are drawn and his jaw is clenched, showing in no uncertain terms that at least one of you is upset. upset may not even be the right word. he's starting to look pained, if not anything else. why is he being like this? for the second time tonight, you feel like you're missing something here.
you reach over and gently tap your fingers against his own in a silent request to take his hand. he visibly stalls before tentatively wrapping his pinky around yours. "i really do forgive you, you know." you murmur. "life happens, and sometimes plans don't work out. that's just the way things are."
kazuha sighs, unconvinced by your kindness. "the whole date was my idea." he takes his hand away from yours. "at the very least, i should have contacted you." he looks away from you. "and i know that... that this won't be the last time something like this happens. i don't want to keep disappointing you like this."
there's a hidden weight to his words that you pick up on. it's apparent that he's not telling you something, but it's not like you can just pry it out of him. he's barely listening to you as it is. you find yourself stuck between being flattered that he cares so much and worried that he'll truly never forgive himself for this. what can you do to convince him that you're not mad?
kazuha's shoulders tense and you can see color faintly rising to his cheeks. "and i was going to ask you..." he pauses for a second to look at you. "...something important, but i'm worried that i shouldn't. that i don't deserve to."
...you knew it. you fucking knew it! you see the way he's looking at you — he was totally going to ask you to be his partner. the problem now though, is that he's probably not going to. he's kicking himself while he's down, ruining your relationship before you even had a chance to form one.
it's not hard to see things his way. he's worried that he can't guarantee that he'll be able to confidently make time for you without interruption. it's a legitimate concern — who doesn't worry about this kind of thing? what he needs to hear now is not that everything's okay, but rather that it will be; that you're content with any mistakes he may make; that you're more than willing to take him as he is, urgent issues and all.
again, you knock your fingers on his. this time, you hook two of your fingers on his. "ask me." you tell him.
kazuha frowns slightly. "i don't..."
"do you still want to ask?"
"of course." he pauses to squints at you. "you already know what it is i'm going to ask you, don't you?"
you bite back a grin. "maybe i do, maybe i don't. ask me anyways."
a smile ghosts across his face as his cheeks redden just a little bit more. "i was going to ask if you wanted to... make our relationship official." he looks down at your joined fingers before looking back at you. "and it would mean the world to me if you said—"
"yes."
kazuha takes your hand fully. "i had a feeling you would say that." it's evident in the way he visibly softens and in the way he sighs that he's pleased with your answer (although 'pleased' is far too light a word to describe the pure, raw happiness that overtook his face). maybe you're going crazy, but you think that something akin to love flashes in his eyes. it overwhelms you. he takes your hand fully in his and you feel your own face start to warm just from looking at him.
"i was always going to say yes," you say when you manage to find your voice. "i want to be with you, kazuha."
his expression dims. did you say something wrong? "i want to be with you too," he says as he brings your hand up to cup his face. "but as i said, i may be a disappointment to you. i don't want to hurt you in any way, even if it's by accident."
you brush your thumb over his skin. it's warm to the touch. "you won't hurt me," you say softly. "and a little disappointment won't be the end of the world."
kazuha regards you closely. he looks like he's trying to be at peace with your hand on his face, but the draw in his brows gives away his internal conflict. for a second, you wonder if you're coming off too strong. you like kazuha a lot (it's probably too soon to say the big L word, but it surely doesn't scare you), but you're always afraid that you're either giving too much of yourself, or not enough. your insistence on dating him may be more repulsive than attractive.
"i like you," he suddenly murmurs, "so much."
your chest feels tight and you feel breathless. why did he suddenly say that? "i like you, too," you reply.
kazuha leans in and presses his forehead against yours. you hold your breath as his eyes slip shut. he seems so at peace at this distance, unlike you, who's trying to swallow back your heart that suddenly leaped into your throat. "i'd like to be yours," he says in the space between. "if you'll have me, that is."
you feel so dizzy, so drunk on your giddy emotions. this isn't how you saw tonight playing out at all, but you're not going to complain. "of course," you breathe your response. your voice trembles just a little, giving away your nervousness. "you're all i want."
at that, kazuha kisses you. it's slow and sweet, and also — if memory serves you right — the fifth time he's kissed you. if life were a cartoon, you would probably flushed bright red, lovestruck and dumb; a fool for the man before you. it takes you a second to kiss him back — he pulls away for just a moment but you capture his lips again and drink in the content sigh he rewards you with. this is different from the kisses you've shared before. the others were reserved and almost timid, hesitant kisses shared at the beginning of a new relationship. this kiss becomes intoxicating and gratifying — one you find yourself quickly getting addicted to.
believe it or not though, it's you who pulls away first, your heart stuttering in your chest. you don't go very far, but you turn your head away to try and retain some of your sanity. it's obvious that what you said had quite the effect on kazuha; his fingers come to your jaw and move you gently so that you're facing him again, but he doesn't close the gap. there's another silence before he kisses you once, then twice, before he pulls away and sighs. "if there's anything that i can do to make up for tonight," he says, "tell me. i'll do anything."
there's only one thing you can think of saying. "stay with me tonight." the words come out easily — maybe a little too easily. you fluster and your face heats up considerably as you start to ramble. "i-i mean, um... it's gonna be pouring all night and you clearly don't have an umbrella so i mean, i think you should stay. if you want to, then of course you can stay, but you can say no — i just don't want you to catch a cold, y'know..."
kazuha says nothing; he watches you with thinly veiled amusement in his eyes. "would me staying the night make you happy?"
you groan quietly. "stop enjoying this. you know the answer already."
"i do, i do. you're just really cute when you're embarrassed."
"you know what? forget it. i'm gonna go check on your clothes." you stand abruptly to escape your discomfort, but kazuha takes your hand in his, stopping you with a laugh.
"i'm sorry, dove, i'm sorry." he chuckles as he speaks. he stands and pulls you in by your waist. "i'll stay the night. does that sound good?"
you rest your hands on his shoulders poised to push him away, but think against it. your heart is hammering in your chest. it's hard to be mad at him when he's smiling like that, even if it's at your expense. asking him to stay was a spur of the moment decision, but when you look at him like this, up close, you know that you would've had a hard time letting him go. so... "yeah," you mutter. "sounds good. now will you please let me go and check on your clothes?"
he hums and leans in. his voice is barely above a murmur when he speaks. "one more thing." and for (what you think is) the eighth time since you've started seeing each other, kazuha kisses you, sending pleasure rocketing through your system. it drags on despite you trying to pull away, what with kazuha chasing after your lips with a mischievous smile the entire time.
eventually, you get fed up and hold his face. "knock it off, you." you say once you successfully pull away. "i have things to do."
kazuha, who looks far brighter than he was earlier, lets you go and raises his hands in mock surrender. "alright, alright. go on. i'll be here; i promise."
you open your mouth to say something snide, but quickly shut it. you're floored by just how happy he makes you, even if he can be annoying from time to time. perhaps it's because you're technically in the honeymoon phase, but you know for a fact that his smile is one you'd do anything to protect. becoming his partner is a decision you know you'll never, ever regret, and you're sure of that.
you turn on your heel and start towards the laundry room. "don't miss me too much!" you call over your shoulder. kazuha's quiet laughter follows you out of the room, warming your heart.
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✦ [screaming and crying]
✦ I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH KAZUHA WITHDRAWALS FOR DAYS AND THAT'S WHY THERE'S SO MANY KISSES, I'M SO SORRY I'M SUCH A PATHETIC BITCHNDBSDJ
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danafeelingsick · 2 years
Note
Could we get a whumpy version of the 'not nice caretaker' prompts, but for the sickee? Not sure if this makes sense lol
thank you so much for sending me a request, anon! you are my very first.
i didn't really understand if you wanted me to reverse the roles and have a whumper sickie being mean to the caretaker (which i'm not even sure how it would work), or if you wanted the sickie's response to the mean caretaker's threats. i went with the latter, but if i got it wrong feel free to send me another request.
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sɪᴄᴋғɪᴄ ᴅɪᴀʟᴏɢᴜᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs #4
ᴡʜᴜᴍᴘ: sɪᴄᴋɪᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴀɴ ᴜɴᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴛᴀᴋᴇʀ [ᴛᴡ ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛs]
1. “I'm so sorry, I couldn't help it.”
2. “Please don't be mad.”
3. “I can't... I can't...”
4. “I'm trying to not get sick. I swear that I'm trying. But you're going way too fast.”
5. “I've apologized already... Please stop yelling at me.”
6. “I can pay for the cleaning, I swear.”
7. “Caretaker please, I feel really nauseous.”
8. “Please pull over, I don't think I can hold it back–”
9. “It isn't contagious... You're safe, I swear.
10. ”Can you help me with these? I got puke all over myself... Can you at least grab me new ones?”
11. “It's nothing you can catch, I swear. Stay with me... Please.”
12. “Caretaker, I need you... please don't go.”
13. “I don't have anyone else to stay with me... I need you.”
14. “Can you please bring me some water? I swear I won't ask you anything else.”
15. “I-I need a bucket, right now. Please. I don't want to make a mess all over myself.”
16. “Stop laughing… It's not my fault.”
17. “This is funny to you!? You just like to see me miserable, don't you?”
18. “Why are you being so mean to me? What have I done to you?”
19. “If I'm so repulsive, just go ahead and leave! Wait, I didn't mean it... Wait, please!”
20. “Then leave if you are just going to berate me for something I can't help.”
21. “You don't have to be here... Just go, I can take care of myself.”
22. “I mean it, go. Leave me, I don't care anymore.”
23. “I'm sorry for being such an eyesore. I'll just stay in my room until this is over.”
24. “I'll clean this up, I swear. Just please don't hurt me.”
25. “My head already hurts... Can you please stop screaming?”
26. “I can hear you just fine... You don't need to– Argh, please stop.”
27. “I feel miserable already, I don't need your help.”
28. “You say that because you are not the one sick.”
29. “You're not the one hurting, are you? Then shut up.”
30. “I'm sorry... *sobs* Please don't be angry.”
31. “I think I need to go to the hospital… But the closest one is miles away from here.”
32. “I-I can't go on my own. Can't you drive me there? Please…?”
33. “Are you sure you cooked this through? It tastes a bit off.”
34. “It's *urp* delicious.”
35. “I'm already full... I don't think I can stomach anything more.”
36. “I'm sorry I couldn't keep it down. I'll pay you back.”
37. “Caretaker... I don't think I can eat anything yet. My stomach hurts.”
38. “Please don't make me eat this. I can't...”
39. “Why did you do this? I told you I wouldn't be able to keep it down..."
40. “I swear it didn't do this on purpose. It came up so suddenly... I couldn't hold it.”
41. “I'm so sorry for your (piece of clothing), you can borrow one of mine... You can even keep it if you want.”
42. “I'll buy a new one, I swear, just please calm down.”
43. “Why are you blaming me? You were the one who made me sick!”
44. “You really hate me that much? It's not my fault, you know?”
45. “It's not like I chose to get sick!”
46. “You were busy? That's why you didn't respond when I called? But you said I could call if I needed...”
47. “You're back... Did you bring the medicine? Y-You forgot? But I gave you the money...”
48. “The money I gave wasn't enough? I think you got the wrong one...”
49. “Sorry, did I wake you up? I'll try to keep it down...”
50. “I... can't eat this, I'm allergic. It's true! You've seen it before, I could die from it.”
*if you use any of these prompts, no credit needed, but reblogs are appreciated
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grpcquickfessions · 3 years
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Write up that post I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. I have been in that same situation and yes I did just go inactive. It wasn’t the right thing to do but I was so crippled by anxiety because when I tried to talk to an admin I got told exactly what that Anon was saying. First they tried to use the, “well it’s slow right now” excuse, but I pointed out there had been 45 new posts on the dash that day alone and as a new player I was getting no interactions despite responding to all recent starters. Then they used the “close group who have been writing together forever” excuse. Then finally indicated that my starter just wasn’t good or something people would respond to. It hurt my feelings so badly and I was so embarrassed I couldn’t bring myself to tell them I wanted to leave, so I just fizzled out. Everyone in this community wants to blame players, or say it’s “just a dead community” but no one wants to take a hard look at themselves.
TW; Long Post.
TL;DR: Everyone needs to pay more attention, be more open to listening and giving out warnings and be more kind!
P.S. - I will probably never talk this much again, so I apologize. I just had a lot to say and if you disagree, that's totally fine! Nothing I say is fact or should be taken as such. We should all respect each other's opinions and experiences! :)
As a former admin and a player, I've seen both sides of this argument. As an admin, my experience (I can not stress enough that this is my experience with this situation) with players coming to me about lack of interactions were sometimes players who didn't try plotting or interacting with anyone outside of the ship they wanted.
I once had a player continuously complain to me because she couldn't fathom why she wasn't making connections in the way she wanted to make connections, totally disregarding other player's requests/wants and being incredibly presumptuous in-character (I later found out that she just wanted the entire rp to center around her which -- ha, tough cookie).
I also had another player bully another member cause she wanted a particular ship. She left when she didn't get said ship, citing that no one wanted to interact with her character when in reality she refused to forge relationships with anyone outside of that particular ship (I found out about the bullying after the fact).
Needless to say, as a former admin, I always encourage people to take a long hard look at themselves, how they're interacting, if they're open to new ships (both platonic and romantic), and what kind of effort they're making. Anytime I'm in a situation where I feel like the odd man out, I examine myself first and foremost.
H O W E V E R ...
Also as a former admin and player, if you see a player actively trying, actively reaching out to people (though, granted this is a hard one unless you reach out to all your members and say "hey did xyz message you to plot? lol), constantly being active on the dash, giving out the best replies they can, kind in the ooc, and just generally doing what any average roleplayer is doing but is being ignored and your response is that the rp is "already established" then (and excuse my french) just close off the fucking roleplay to new members.
"Already established" is such a shit excuse. As an admin, you absolutely should be fostering an environment that's nothing short of welcoming both IC and OOC. I get it -- you can't make people interact but at the very least, you should be encouraging it if you notice a rise in bubble rping or a member being ignored and handing out repercussions if the situation isn't improving.
When I was more active, I was quick to hop into people's inboxes, DMs, what have you and say, "Hey, wanna plot?" "Hey, wanna make a connection with these two?" "Hey, if this player is down, wanna do this cool friendship/squad/love triangle/enemies/etc?"
And honestly, I've realized, 90% of the time, some groups don't even realize they're doing it. Because sometimes, it's genuinely not intentional.
One of the last few groups I was in was filled with the sweetest people I ever had the pleasure of rping with. They were super nice and everyone was interested in forging some sort of connection with my character. However, these connections were, for lack of a better word, dry. Because the group was established and everyone had already made any prominent connections, no one was really interested in doing anything outside of "casual friends." Which is fine! I love plotting friendships but when you have the same connection with every single character, it gets ... boring. And bored I was. And that boredom turned into annoyance and that annoyance turned into frustration and eventually, I just left.
Or another time, everyone was half-lovely IC but OOC? I was ignored. I'd say something and they skip right on by in the OOC chat. I left -- expeditiously.
I listed some suggestions here originally and I genuinely wish I had more to give but if you're an admin, please pay attention to your players. Please watch interactions closely after a complaint. Do not be afraid to make a post on the main letting members know you've noticed a lack in interactions and that it needs to be fixed. Don't be afraid to reach out to members who are bubble roleplaying privately and letting them know that it isn't okay. Be the example! And please don't be afraid to just make a private group for you and your friends. I've been in several groups where it was apparent that the admin and friends just wanted a background audience for their IC drama.
Also, only sort of relevant, but I wished more people were into chemistry as well as plotting. So much of rping today is premeditating connections instead of sometimes letting chemistry dictate the relationship. I think doing/having both is important and can lead to a lot more fun (plus, chemistry helped me meet my best friend!).
And like I said before, sometimes leaving is the best option. But, don't be afraid to let the admin know why you left (without being rude or passive-aggressive, of course).
As always, I'm open to more advice, more opinions and more thoughts.
At the end of the day, role-playing is for fun. Fun should never stress you out (unless you happen to be plankton and you've got a sea sponge who won't stop singing about it).
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