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medium-rare-bimbo · 11 months

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Disappeared for almost a year, willing to answer questions about that thank you for all the concern :)) but really sorry for abandoning you all <3<3

♡masterlist♡

Stalker! Ghostface! eddie x bimbo! reader

-Steve is also mentioned <3<3

Eddie = stu

Steve = billy

!!!WARNINGS!!!

contains: dark! Eddie, noncon/ Dubcon, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy (obvi <3), knife play, blood, murder, mentions of necrophilia, crying, kidnapping, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm

MINORS DNI

♡ you're one of the most popular girls at school or maybe in the entirety of Hawkins, you were pretty, always best dressed and most importantly eye candy for those around you. It didn't help that you were the sweetest girl to exist, despite the difference between you and the losers of the world you didnt treat them any different humans were humans what they looked like or how they acted wasnt apart of your conscience.

♡ eddie was set on you being his first statement victim, his first chance to show hawkins that people who peak in highscool were nothing more than burnouts, his first time showing the world that popular people meant nothing in the big picture, the big ocean of the world were you're nothing more than a drop of water. You would make headlines, your name and reputation would let everyone know just what they would be dealing with. who they were messing with.

♡ he stalked you for hours, days, weeks, months, memorizing your habits, your friends, your daily routines, your class schedules, what you do when you get home, who you hang out with, your dates, your family, how you respond to calls, who you talk to, your house layouts, entrance and exit points. Every. Single. Detail. He had taken up a habit of stealing some of your belongings scrunchie, hair tie, pieces of paper you've doodled on, notes, strands of your hair, eddie wanted everything. when the small opportunity became available he would occasionally break into your home, convincing himself that this was to memorize the layout of your house but not stopping himself from taking what he pleases panties, bras, lip balm, shirts, skirts, anything old and useless or in a large quantity would go missing. You never seemed to notice things go missing anyway

♡ nothing was off limits for eddie, NOTHING. He watched you walk, talk, eat, shower, get dressed, EVERYTHING. maybe it was the pre murder adrenaline that made him overthink, the fear of getting caught, the risk he was taking, the orgasmic haze that flooded over him everytime he thought about your corpse laying infront of him, botched up, dismantled, butchered into nothing more than your own worth. perhaps this rush made him plan out every possible outcome. He couldnt waste a lifetime in prison over some dumb bimbo who didnt know what pythagoras was. He had no reason to feel guilt it wasnt as if he hadnt gotten rid of some nobodies before but this was you, this was different this, was more meaningful. a few dead people who no one knew the name of wasnt something people cared about because they werent popular. They were freaks and no one cares for freaks except the circus, a place where they can point and laugh.

♡As much as eddie feared the consequences of his actions he needed to do this, his entire life hes been treated as if he were a freak. This is what he was made to do picking off all of the useless nobodies who think they matter in a sea of carbon copies. No one should miss a model or an athlete when there were people out there becoming scientist, people out there saving lives while others make a living by simply existing.

♡ When steve had fallen from grace, dethroned by billy Hargrove, it was like something inside him snapped almost like something dark had taken control of him. he became this standoffish creature yet he still had charm and almost like ink to water the darkness naturally spread to eddie, somehow, someway the two became as thick as thieves overnight

♡ Eddie had always been dark, dark clothes, dark hair, dark eyes, dark music, dark life but Steve's influence made that darkness deepen, stories upon stories could come out about how disturbing eddie was yet they soon got swept under the rug when he was out with steve. creepy, charming, funny, manipulative, strange were all words you could describe eddie 'the freak' munson. Pherhaps he was already stained, perhaps steve reopening the wound letting the blood spill out was what caused this disaster, he needed to reignite the spark that made him, HIM and that spark seemed to be enough to cause an explosion.

♡ steve was the one to bring up the idea of murder, Nancy wheeler his ex girlfriend would be their (his) final girl every other victim a pawn and statement in his plan, his message to Hawkins, the world. although eddie had dabbled in the idea of killing someone almost obsessing, idolizing, romatizing dreaming of it he had never had the balls to pull it off, he knew there would accusations immediately pointed at him, soon losing the game he so desperately deserved to win at.

♡ eddie latched on to Steves reputation like a leech to flesh, he could get away with anything and no one would bat an eye. An alibi coming from steve 'the hair' harrington meant much more than cheerleaders who were known to torment eddie. The cops brushed off the suspicion with sympathy, poor eddie being targeted once again. Although that wasnt just the reason eddie became so attached to steve, him and Steve now shared the same ideology of the uselessness of popularity, billy hargrove was the best thing to come out of this school. Eddie now had a ride or die.

♡ when the topic of you being the first statement victim came up steve wasnt too pleased at the idea, you hadnt been mean to either of them and he was hoping the first assertion would be someone like billy, jason, chrissy or even Johnathan. He battled with eddie for days, weeks even, soon agreeing on the terms that it would be after he had used you, he wasn't about to slaughter a girl like you without trying you out first.

♡ a reluctant agree from eddie sealed the deal, steve sleeps with you, eddie ends you.

♡ they're outside your house steve in a tree eddie in a bush, their bodies unseen in the darkness as they watch their prey move about. Living room, hallway, kitchen, hallway, stairs, hallway, your room. Although they couldnt see into your room, this time you had remembered your curtains and as much as steve felt disappointment about not being able to witness your last moments he knew it was better this way. You wont see them and the nighbours wouldnt either

♡ as soon as your situated in your room he wait about 30 minutes before calling, going over the plan with eddie and hoping you're too warm to get out of bed and grab a knife. signalling to eddie that it was time to go He strategically moves around the perimeter of your house, making his way to the kitchen window that you never locked despite the fact there were murders, you never seemed to lock any of your windows almost as if you were inviting him in. the kitchen gave him the advantage to be unseen by cars possibly driving by and an easy way to grab an extra knife if needed.

♡ he crawled through the unlocked window, the black clothing blending into the night the only part of him visible is the white ghost mask covering his face. He could hear you talking to steve upstairs, answering his questions, asking questions and seemingly trying to get off the phone. He was excited almost, the thrill rushing over him as he heard your voice.

"Oh I dont really watch horror movies"

"....?"

"Yeah I get creeped out so much i usually watch them with someone, I dont like being alone watching monsters"

"....?"

"Yeah i just hate the suspense-"

So does he

"-it kills me-"

You have no idea

"- i just hate the music and the way you know you're obviously going to be scared but you just cant tell when"

"......?"

"Noo I'm not into cult things either, ever since the fire at melody lane I cant look at them the same"

".......?"

"Listen I'm just saying its really weird there was a fire and then the band blew up"

"......"

"I mean youd get suspicious too right? they're total cultists"

".... .....?

"T-they didnt sacrifice me I was just saying- listen is there a reason you called so late"

"......."

"If you're Jason or something I already said no leave me alone! I'm busy"

"..... ............. .......?"

"What do you mean where you are? I dont want to meet up for a quick fuck and I definitely dont want to know the name of someone who calls at god knows what hour"

"........"

".....what?"

"....."

"....The bathroom?"

"...."

".....The kitchen?"

"......"

"How close are you?"

"....."

"I'm not playing in to your stupid prank! I have things to do!!" You slam down the phone

♡ It was his go time, he waited and waited and waited hearing the phone ring and you quickly hanging up before the ringing stopped all together and he could hear the sound of your sheets moving. He waited some more, he wanted you to forget about the call, this time there would be no suspense youd think you're safe and sound until you're suddenly impaled by the knife in his grip.

♡ minutes ticked by he was sure steve thought he had pussied out. He reached his hand to the door knob and froze as he heard cries- moans. He couldn't believe this. You slut, you filthy, dirty, stupid slut you had just been threatened and told that there was someone in your house and you're touching yourself? Maybe eddie had been waiting so long that you had called Steve's the callers bluff.

♡ a shaking hand, one of delight not fear, twisted the door knob being silent however he doubted you could hear anything over you own moans to caught up in your world to acknowledge the murderer standing in your door way. The sight before eddie had been breathtaking and in any other circumstance he would have watched you until you came.

Hands down the front of your panties, head thrown back, eyes closed with nothing but a t shirt on, you clearly werent wearing a bra as he could perfectly see the outline of your nipples. He supposes adrenaline has different affects on everyone, yours just happens to be becoming horny. What a wonderful discovery

♡ he stalked towards you despite his heavy boots he made no sound, whines and gasps erupted from your throat as he neared closer truly getting the full show to it all. He leered above you like a hawk taking in the view before him until he strikes. He grabbed your mouth quickly shutting you up, muffling the scream that made it's way out of your throat, your hands immediately grabbing his own giving him a view of your sticky fingers all while shuffling up the bed to try and save your own dignity trying to block you body away from his sight.

♡ he climbed on top of you, pressing you into the bed and pinning your legs in place stopping the kicks from reaching him. He hung over you, his breathe heavy as he watched the horror in your eyes brighten as they caught glimpse of the weapon in his hand. You pleas and begs muffled into his glove as he stared at you giving you no indication of mercy

♡ He suddenly flips you over, your head forced into your pillows and stuffies silencing your protests with your ass raised, he pulled at you hips ragdoll-ing you into the position he wanted you in. He moved his hands down hour body towards your out of place panties reaching for the edge of them before you started yelling

"Get the fuck off of me-"

He roughly shoved your head back into the pillow once again silencing you

"Stay the down and shut the fuck up, I'll kill you now. I'll make you unrecognisable that the police will think you broke in do you want that?"

A sobbed out no and shake of the head came out, he once again shoved your head into your pillows as a warning

"Great now as you reminisce on your life, rethinking everything you've done and havent experienced you're gonna let me play with you until I'm bored got it?"

You once again nodded weeping into your pillow clutching the bears next to you, knowing the inevitable you accepted your fate. Atleast you'll be able to pray your family and friends knew you loved them

♡ eddie pulled your panties down slapping your leg indicating you to lift you knees up, he pocketed them keeping a souvenir for later. His hands found your thighs crawling their way up to your most intimate area he spread your holes with his thumbs, playing with the flesh revealing the sight of the juices leaking out of you no doubt from your little escapade. Eddie pondered while mindlessly playing with your anatomy, should he just kill you? Back out of this and get the job done? He shoudlnt be doing this, he was supposed to hunt food not play it. I mean it wasnt as if steve would mind right? He got his time to play and He wont cum in you probably, no dna behind the crime and he should atleast indulge. he is the one doing the dirty work. rationally he might as well have some fun before mutilating you right? Hes still going to kill you, has to. Maybe even kill you mid thrust and fuck your bleeding out corpse if hes up for it, going round after round until your body is cold.

♡ eddie, snapping out of his pondering thoughts, stopped playing with his now decided fleshlight shuffling his way up to you so his hips meet your ass, he hesitated slightly but barely before unbuckling his belt. Pulling down the tattered and worn out jeans (along with his boxers) to reveal his hard on. You sobbed harder as you felt him rub his cock on your cunt soaking in your juices, you were quickly shut up by a slap on your ass getting the memo you tried to bargain with him

"Please- please dont i- I can give you money or anything you want just please-"

He pressed his tip inside you, throwing his head back as you squealed and cried. A deep groan fell out of his mouth as your warmth wrapped around him. He brought his hands to the back of your neck gripping the hair harshly before leaning down

"I dont want money or clothes or food or a magic show I want your life and youre gonna give it to me you're gonna let me abuse this cunt and there's nothing you can do about it understood?"

"Mhm"

"Great now the only noise I want from your mouth are moans and cries because I dont want you to ruin this for me okay? I've waited so long to steal you away from the world this is only some self indulgence on my part you should be grateful"

♡ he began to slide in deep "Wait!"- you reached your arm back to push his hips away before his cock could enter "you need a condom I dont want to get pregn-" Before you could finish eddie pinned your arms against your back (forcing it to arch more than it already had) shoving his cock inside you to shut you up, you were being too loud as you actively ignored his order. You're such an idiot you wont be alive to carry a child, if he did cum inside, your body wouldnt be able to catch his seed youd be dead by then, hes about to murder you why would he leave behind obvious evidence?

♡ You squealed as his cock breached your hole barely giving you time to process the sheer size of it or the piercings that littered the underside. It wasnt long before he started thrusting in and out of you, he couldn't care less about your pleasure this isnt about you. You didnt deserve to adapt to the sudden abuse of your womb, you didnt deserve anything.

♡ although eddie was empty for your pleasure he did enjoy the moans and gasps coming out if you. If you had been a hook up at devils kettle after his band he would have took his time on you savouring the feeling of your walls as you took him, he would have tasted you until you couldnt breathe, came inside you until you couldnt walk, so many things he would have done differently. Nonetheless he doesnt regret what hes doing and what hes eventually going to do it's just a shame he couldnt relish in the tightness of your cunt regularly. Like poison you could only do have it once

"You know maybe I wont kill you think you can impress me enough for me to spare you? Huh? Or are you to dumb like the whore you are to even understand what I'm saying?"

"Mmm"

"Aww that's what I thought it's like you didnt want to live"

♡ his pounding picked up his grasp on your hip tightening almost squeezing immediate bruises into your skin. One of his gloved hands reached your headboard using it as leverage to fuck aswell as pulling it towards him to stop the repeated banging from it smashing into the wall. Your moans were a mixed with sobs and mumbles, you didnt even know what you were asking for, did you want him to stop? Or keep going? You're brain hazy and blinded by the violent treatment to your pretty puffy cunt

♡ Sweat from his brow dripped down into the mask soaking the fabric that covered the eyes and mouth. the mask in question did no job of muffling or hiding the noises that tumbled out of him, a mix of grunts, whines, groans and growls admitted from the man. He was unleashing all the pent up anger and insecurity into his thrusts. Stuttered breaths came from him although it sounded like snarls. His eyes couldnt focus on where to look, your face covered in your own sweat, tears and spit or the way your hole swallowed him in, practically sucking him back inside as soon as he left. It was a beautiful sight, your cunt now leaking down both his and your own thighs. red and raw from the ruining of his manhood and swollen balls repeatedly beating against your lips and clit.

♡ god he could keep you forever, locked in his rooms with nothing on, your only purpose is to be filled. Be his little housewife. Youd make such an amazing mommy you're so sweet to everyone youd be so good to him and his babies- what the fuck was he thinking?! Hes supposed to kill you not breed you like a cow and marry you what the fuck is wrong with him?? He picks up his forgetting knife tracing over your spine with it you squealed as he did, pressing yourself into your mattress to get away from the blade. He dragged the knife down to your thigh before making light marks upon them, maybe he could make it look like you were struggling mentally and was just some crazy bitch who cut herself to cope, if he stabs you correctly he could make it look like suicide.

♡ the pretty pearls of blood blossomed around the wounds he made, they were shallow but god did he love the sight of your blood as it trailed down your thigh similar to your own juices. Switching hands without pausing his momentum, swapping out the one holding your headboard. he began to do the same to your other thigh, relishing in the whimpers of either pain or confused pleasure although he guessed you enjoyed it from the way you clenched around him and started to try and move back against his thrusts. Knowing soon that if he didnt restrict with his mutilation he wouldnt be able to stop himself and it would no longer look self inflicted. He threw the knife next to him, leaning down to the crook of your neck breathing in your scent, his hand tip toed it's way to your throat pressing against your wind pipe as he watched your face, the face that was stuck in a pleading expression he knew you wanted mercy whether that be to cum or to live he knew you couldnt have one so he gave up on silencing the banging and reached his unoccupied hide down to yout clit pressing against the poor nub to gage your reaction immediately you moaned trying to turn you head into you pillow the hand on your throat disobeying you to even move. He rubbed the poor pearl in circles letting you cry out and your tears soak into his gloves

♡ his fun however was cut short by a person in the doorway, steve, dressed in his costume, head tilted with his arms crossed a disappointed stance as he watched the show infront of him 'really?' Was what steve was trying to say. In response eddie leaned up relocating his hand from your neck into the back of your head shoving you into the pillows before slapping your ass with the same hand staring directly at steve 'what are you gonna do about it'. You cried out at the sudden abuse which was met with another slap, steve having seen enough walked out probably raiding your fridge or something.

♡ you felt amazing hes kind of envious of steve for getting to you first, a slight wave of frustration washed over him as he couldnt have you again. His animalistic behaviour along with his feral treatment of you brought you close to the edge. Eddie's hands that now found their place back on your hips received urgent taps as you tried to communicate your end. He coudlnt care less though but he might aswell get the most he can out of his toy. Snaking on of his hands down to your clit, listening to your heightened wails as you drew closer the other hand leaving your hip and pressed against your stomach feeling the way he destroyed your insides. His body fell foward encapsulating your withering body that was too gone to hold itself up right.

"I- I'm gonna cum- I'm gonna cum- please let me cum please please please please-"

"Shshshhhh you can cum- you can cum im gonna make you cum and you're gonna thank me for doing such a nice thing before you die arent you?"

"yes yes yes yes- yes- oh please fuck- th-thank you thank you oh my god- please- thank you-"

♡ you tightened around him your back arching as your orgasm fell upon you, your fluids squirted along his cock as he continued his rampage, he was so close your pussy practically crushing him as he fucked your dead weight body

"Please- I'm s- sensitive I cant- s'too much- cant- cant take it"

"Y-you can take it. You can take all of it, you're taking me right now- you can take some more-"

♡ he felt his end near as he spoke, the urge to praise you and degrade you flooded through his brain desperately wanting to tell you how good you feel although nothing good ever last forever and he knew he couldnt mark you with his seed

"Didnt think youd be so tight- th-thought after all- all the dickheads you fuck wou- would loosen you out fucking slut, little bitch only good- for getting off"

"Nuh uh mmhmm'not- not a slut- dont sleep around- fuck please slow down please- they lie I dont-"

"They lie about it huh?- shit- they lie about fucking you? Just want to brag huh?"

"Mhmm"

♡ if heaven is real he it would definitely be inside you he didnt deserve heaven, not with the things hes done but he can spoil himself this one time right? Eddie pressed his head into the crook of your neck, the irritating fabric of his hoodie scratching your back, howls and groans spilled out of him he wanted to time it perfectly to pull out as soon as he cums, so much easier to wipe cum from skin then scrape it out of you. Though he doubts the cops would care if they found anything inside you a known minx filled with cum was not a surprise. He felt his hips buck into you stuttering as clawed his way to be closer to you, eddie isnt a strong man he couldnt pull out even if he wanted to, steve can go fuck himself they could find someone else, anyone.

♡ he spilled himself inside you wrapping his arms around your mid section to hold you against him, biting at any exposed flesh he could find, licking and sucking marks into your skin as he fell into greatness, He could feel his cum spill around his cock filling up your insides. Pants and heavy breaths came from the man above you maybe even whines but you couldnt be too sure, whispers of words you couldnt comprehend overflow from behind the mask as he slowly came down sloppy thrusts slowing down as he can to a halt. Over stimulated and hazy minded you barely acknowledge his peak, fuzzy and dumb you couldnt care less about what he does to you body. Your bedding was now soaked as you soon came to realize, he let go, forcing your body to fall flat on the bed. Carefully he pulled out of you watching his seed pool out of you, adding to the mess of your pretty little bed sheets, your poor pussy almost bruised and swollen from his attack, his cum highlighting the beauty of it

♡ he sat back and watched suddenly he didnt feel the urge to harm you, too caught up in post nut clarity. Instead of reaching for his knife he reached for your holes once again, spreading and playing with them, pushing his hard work back into it's new designated place listening to you let out sleepy whimpers and whines. He felt your combined juices melt into the fabric of his glove yet he couldnt care, hed do this every night for the rest if his life if it meant he could experience the warmth of your body.

♡ Eddie shifted off the bed catching a glimpse at your fucked out face barely able to keep your eyes open as your lashes fluttered, he knew you were fighting sleep a part of you aware of the danger you were currently in, however you werent aware of the change of plans. Eddie slipping his knife in the pocket of his jeans gave you one last look, strolling up to you and lifting his mask above his mouth, a small, short kiss pressed against your temple

"I'll be back baby"

♡ he made his way out of your room down the hallway, down the stairs and into he kitchen were he found steve sipping one of your dads beers.

"Did you do it?"

"...nope"

"Didnt think so.. wasnt any screams... jesus christ Eddie we've been planning this for months you were the one that suggested her"

"I mean... can you blame me?"

"Yes"

"That's fair... but you cant tell me her pussy didnt sway your mind about the whole murder thing"

"...."

"Steve lets be honest"

"I guess but that's not the point shes probably going to snitch on us you know that right"

"Please she's practically passed out on her bed, fucked dumb shes lucky she can even acknowledge where she is. She isnt gonna remember this"

"And what if she does"

"I can always go for round two"

"You're disgusting we are so dead"

"Well just have to wait and see wont we?"

♡ safe to say when monday came around there was no talk of your encounter with the infamous ghostface infact there was no indication that you had even had an interaction with a murderer, life went on as if nothing happened.

"Told you"

"You could've gotten us caught"

"But I didnt"

"So who next? I was thinking-"

♡ eddie zoned out as steve rambled one, his eyes travelling to your table as you chatted with friends, his marks were still there and he had no doubts your little girlfriends questioned you who did it. He liked the look of you wearing his claim. He'll visit you tonight, this time he'll fuck the way he truly wants.

#stranger things x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #ghostface Eddie x reader #steve harrington x reader #dark eddie munson #tw: noncon #ghostface steve harrington #eddie x reader #eddie x reader x steve #eddie munson smut

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imissthembutitwasntadisaster · 5 days

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The thing about the new hunger games book is that it could be a Haymitch centric story or it could be otherwise and I trust Collins either way, but looking at her themes (propaganda and control) I think there's a lot of room for a story that is definitely about the Capitol, the creation of these specific games, the control and propaganda and power. These are special games, twice as many children stolen as usual, and they should be won by one of the low number districts as usual, powerful, semi-Capitol districts. Everything is poised and planned for.

Except one tribute keeps poking through. He refuses to kill, that's alright, a lot of them don't have the guts. He travels away from the centre, and by all rights should be killed by the arena but he's clever, he works out the poison, the vicious animals, he escapes it all.

Well, never mind, there's 48 tributes and far more interesting things going on than some twelve kid. Until there's 40 tributes, then 30, than 20. President Snow holds watch parties and celebrations, the Capitol bets on winners and losers, tossing around money like it's worthless.

The twelve boy who should be dead has an alliance with a twelve girl until she leaves, not wanting to kill him. She still screams for him when she's killed. He still runs back to hold her hand as she dies.

A sweet gesture. Makes people invested. Still, might not be ideal to show, don't want to humanize them that much, so it's cut. Easy. The games are all under control and only show what Snow wants them to show. The people are happy or content or afraid, but they're all watching exactly what they should be watching.

Until the twelve boy wins. He wins by using the arena, a trick, a twist to it. And the games are trapped in their own making, you see, because the Capitol can't get rid of him. Everyone knows he's the victor because everyone saw. Everything about Haymitch was wrong, everything about his victory was a kick in the teeth to the Capitol. He was a District Twelve victor who won by refusing to play the game properly on a year that was meant to show the Capitol's power. He was out of their control and it hurt them, we know it hurt them, they killed every single person he loved because of it. Haymitch isn't the center of the story, he's the flaw in the perfect code. He takes the control of the Capitol and he bruises it. 24 years later it's broken by another twelve child who held the hand of her friend while she as dying.

#thg #the Hunger games #I think it makes most sense based off themes for haymitch to be. a threat almost.

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takavasen · 3 months

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Tumblr dashboard in Night Vale simulator

🧪homo-genius

Today's science fact:

Spiders have an open blood circulation system, which means they do not have veins and their blood is different from the blood of mammals. Unfortunately many healthcare professionals do not know this, which can lead to improper methods in...

🎙️voice_of_night_vale

Spiders are a valuable part of our community and deserve good healthcare.

But more importantly, I want everyone to know that Carlos the Scientist made this post, he is my husband and I love him very much! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

🪬a-thousand-fingernails Follow

Cecil everyone knows you and Carlos are married and most of us are happy for you but you don't need to tell this in every post you make

🎙️voice_of_night_vale

Wait have I mentioned it before?

809 notes

⭐sheriffofallarts

Hah saw some loser (@ marble-eyes) bring the same girl (@ mountainbeliever343 I think, couldn't see her face clearly from the cameras) home for the third time this week lol

cmon just say you are girlfriends already dont be shy

💎marble-eyes Follow

Hey you can't just share private information like that!! And besides that is not true, I haven't brought anyone home for a long time, I don't have time for that anymore!!!

🟡secretly-in-your-home

No. I can confirm that what Sam said is true. I was there. I am always there. Also, I put the rest of your cereal to your washing machine. They have been in the cupboard for a while now, I thought they were getting quite dusty and needed cleaning.

31 notes

🏀basketballpalmer Follow

We had an another great season with @nvwheelchairbasketball team again! Thank you everyone, it's an honor to be the captain of the team! See you guys next season <3

👍wallabyyy Follow

Aaaaa congratulations! I miss you guyssss

43 notes

☀️prophet-of-smiling-god

I just had the most delightful date with the most gorgeous theologist in Desert Bluffs Too!!! We had a lovely dinner at my house (some eyeball salad, mushed tarantulas and fried human fingers), watched some movies and of course made sure to serve our great Smiling God by making each other as happy as possible!! Unfortunately Charles said that it would make him unhappy if I shared the details, but I can confidently say that I have never been more joyful!!

🦷smiling-mayor Follow

Kevin, you missed a service in the Temple of Joy because of this. Surely you would remember doing that for an old friend, wouldn't you? 😊

☀️prophet-of-smiling-god

Oh, Lauren, of course I wouldn't ignore anything like that on purpose, you know how much I love tolerating you!!

98 notes

🪽not-an-angel Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

🌟erikaaaaaaa Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

💵ex-vanston Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

💡erika-the-black-one Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

3 notes

😎violentfootstool-deactivated20230416

Hey guys, so I just spoke to the new scientist lady and found out I don't actually have three pairs of arms. The lower two were just robot limbs that I tried out when I was seven years old and forgot to take them off. So hows your day ://

🔬janet-lubelle

I am always happy to help with explaining your problems away.

🎀tinfoilforteeth

Hey bitch how is it going under the cow

754 notes

🎙️voice-of-night-vale

Alright, I'm going to say it. Steve Carlsberg does NOT know how to be a basketball coach. He knows nothing about any game structures, and he only allows one ball per game!! He talks too loud, except when you can't hear him. It will be ALL HIS FAULT if we end up losing this season!!!!!

🌠lines-in-the-sky Follow

🎙️voice-of-night-vale

For everyone who finds this post now: I made this many years ago. Things have changed a lot. I'm very sorry, Steve. I couldn't hope for a better brother-in-law. You are my best friend, and I was the irrational one in this situation.

I have changed the way I look at people. I will not treat them the same way I used to treat Steve anymore.

1,642 notes

🎙️voice-of-night-vale

Alright, who let Susan Willman be in charge of anything? She is the absolute worst at making desicions, like, who asks an obelisk its NAME? She had an oppoturnity to ask almost anything, and that's what she chose?? She better stay away from our way for at least seven decades, and keep her "Huntokar"-nonsense with herself!!!

11 notes

#fake dashboard #wtnv #welcome to night vale #unreality #this took way too long

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merakiui · 2 months

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MERA IVE BEEN HAVING THIS THOUGHT AND I THINK YOURE THE RIGHT PERSON TO SHARE IT WITH BC ITS SO PERFECT FOR THE TWEELS 😭

A long time ago, back when i was a teenager and still a wattpad girly, I read this one really good story called "Family Comes First" about a family of cannibals that lives in the middle of nowhere. They only keep boy children who are born, no daughters. Whenever a boy turns a certain age (I think 21 but I cant really rmbr), the father goes out to the nearest city, interviews girls under the guise of offering them a job, and kidnaps the best one as a birthday gift and bride. The mother-in-law teaches the new girl how to be a good wife (cleaning, cooking that strange meat, etc.), and the husband is otherwise responsible for his wife, to the point of selecting and laying out her clothing every morning. The ultimate honour is to birth a son, and so the husbands are CONSTANTLY trying to get their wives knocked up. I can't help but imagine Jade and Floyd in a story like this, it suits them perfectlyyyyy

In the book, one of the boys ended up catching feelings for brother's wife (the main character) instead of his own, and it causes fights serious drama in the family. This works so well with the recent ideas about Jade stealing Floyd's cute little wifey except it would be even better for them because they're twins and Jade can pull all his nasty tricks 😭 maybe when she finally gets knocked up with a son, they won't know who it belongs to, because he looks just like his daddy, but the potential daddies look the sammmeee OTZ

Oh oh oh and imagine if reader tries to escape and the family decides to let her try. Let her have fun. Hell, they even join in on the fun. She was blindfolded when they brought her and she's never been out of the house before, so she doesn't know her way around the woods, whereas the men in this family have been hunting humans for sport and food in these woods for generations. Now she's lost in the dark forest with daddy leech and the tweels rapidly closing in on her. She's going to be taught a lesson after they drag her home. After all, she lost the game, and losers never get rewards >_<

OHHH!!! Omg that concept is perfect for the tweels!!!! And they would absolutely draw out the chase in the forest just to scare you even more. Maybe then, after spending an entire day and night being hunted like a wild animal, you'll learn your home is with them. There's no point in running from your family, after all.

Hehe running from the three of them and you injure yourself, so now you're even more panicked because what if they can smell the cut on your leg? What if they can hear your pained grunts as you drag yourself along, limping through the forest? >_< omg and it doesn't matter who finds you; it's going to be frightening either way. Floyd who drags you out of your hiding place by the ankles, or Jade who stands over you as he patiently waits for you to take notice of him. Or Papa Leech wrapping you up in big, strong, scarred arms to carry you back to the house. Maybe you're kicking and screaming all the way, and it's useless to struggle because there's no one else out here for stretches. Just you and your family, who care so very much for you. You should be grateful! Mr. Leech's sons fight over you to be named your husband. Aren't you lucky to have the two of them? Most of all, aren't you lucky you're alive and not on their murderous menu?

AAAAAA and Papa Leech picks your clothes for you going forwards! They were far too patient and lenient with you before, far too forgiving. Now you're living under a new schedule, a fresh set of rules. Your clothes are selected for you, and your meals are prepared in advance (gone are the days in which you were given choices; each meal is healthy and has properties meant to boost your fertility). When you aren't learning to be the perfect housewife, you're getting bent over every possible surface and bred by the twins. Or if the twins can't behave, then maybe Papa Leech ought to knock you up instead........... thinking thoughts.

In conclusion, the entire family is crazy and you're stuck with them forever. orz

#twisted chit chat

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realisticfanfictions · 3 months

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Hi! Can I as for headcanons just like the "being their Gf" from Sanji but with zoro? I would love that😁💖

Ahhh! I didn't realise this was a feature! Sorry about that, I hope this makes up for it! <3 (Not edited or beta-read.)

♥ 𝘽𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙂𝙁: 𝙕𝙤𝙧𝙤 ♥

𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘔𝘦𝘵:

It's your typical love story, except with swords, and blood, and screaming. Lots of screaming.

You were just an average girl with an unhealthy obsession with starting fights you had no real chance of winning. Though, it wasn't your fault when no-good crooks hit on you or touched you whenever you walked by. In fact, you'd actually earned a nickname; "The Red Ogre."

It was the festival of the Lunar Eclipse, and people from all around had come just for this one spectacular occasion. From wealthy tourists to mountain bandits, the streets were packed like dried sardines in a cat's mouth. You didn't know where this expression came from, but it suited the moment rather well.

You'd just finished bottling up the last of the sake and were bringing it over to the market stall you shared with the local soba man, when you felt something brush your ass. Yeah, no. That wasn't happening.

With practiced precision, you whipped around and felt all of your energy rush to your fist, connecting it with the asshole's jaw and sending him flying into a pile of watermelons.

Everyone could hear you screaming profanities and death threats against the pile of human trash, grabbing him by the collar and repeatedly driving your fist into his face again, and again, and again.

Once his face resembled a tumor (not that it didn't already) and you were satisfied with permanently altering his face shape, you stepped back and spat on the ground next to him, blood running down your fist.

You heard a whistle. "Hate to be on the receiving end." When you turned around, you were met with a man with three swords strapped to his waist slowly walking towards you. His eyes were on the carnage that lay on the ground beneath you, but your own were fixed on his unusually coloured hair.

Before you could say anything, you felt the man grab onto your leg and you prepared yourself for another onslaught, but you didn't need to. The hand that had wrapped itself around your ankle suddenly went limp as the swordsman effortlessly disconnected it from the man's body.

That's where the screaming came in, but without sparing a second thought he simply hoisted the man over his shoulder and, while taking a bottle of your sake, flashed you a smirk. "Thanks for the free bounty."

That's when you decided you wanted to become a bounty hunter.

𝘒𝘦𝘺 𝘔𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 1#:

You didn't see the mysterious swordsman after that, he disappeared in the midst of the festival and seemingly also disappeared from your life.

A few months went by and you'd already collected a few high profile bounties. Ever heard of "Six-Finger Trigger"? Well, you certainly never would again. With a comfortable 3 million berries almost always in your pocket, you slowly became well known in the East Blue as a fierce fighter.

Just like a crappy romance novel, you were hunting down some loser with a 7 million berry bounty on his head (well, you're sure a novel like that existed somewhere) when you bumped into a familiar face. The swordsman stepped out of the bar and immediately locked eyes onto you as if he could sense you watching him. A smirk stretched across his face. "The Red Ogre," He called out as he warily approached. "Never thought I'd see you again."

You snarkily replied that you didn't think he'd bother with a bounty this low, and the man scoffed. "I was in the area." He coolly responded and before you both could react, you were surrounded.

The look you shared spoke more than words ever could. In a split second, you went from cracking your knuckles to cracking the closest pirate's skull wide open. You both were brutal in your assault, but with him it was like watching a ribbon dancer gracefully gliding along the stage with each slash and dismemberment his swords wickedly inflicted.

By the time it was over, you both were panting and sweating over the bodies of about 30 men who'd either had their skulls bashed in, or their bodies almost cut clean in half. You huffed and cracked your neck, commenting how you clearly had more victims than him. He scoffed and pulled the sword out of his mouth, sheathing it. "Don't be ridiculous," He sheathed the other two and then pointed to the bodies. "There's more blood than teeth."

You replied that by punching out teeth, you added to the blood but he just shook his head in mild disbelief. "You're just jealous I won a competition I didn't even know we were having." He thought for a moment, then flicked his head toward the bar he had left only a few minutes ago. "How about another friendly competition?"

The competition ended in a tie when the bar ran out of liquor, but sometime during the night when he'd downed his 33rd glass of tap beer, you told him your name. He placed down his mug, looked over at you and smiled. "Zoro." He simply said and called for another round.

𝘒𝘦𝘺 𝘔𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 2#:

It was only natural that you two became a hunting duo after that. It was big news in the bounty hunting world that the two most prevalent names in the East Blue teamed up, especially because you were also the most brutal. The Red Ogre and the Demon of the East Blue (your name was obviously better) were as feared as the bounties you hunted, and no one was safe when you had them in your sights.

But what they didn't see were the times like now, where even walking in a straight line with Zoro felt like traveling between realms and ending up in a completely different place than where you intended to go.

You rolled your eyes when you past by the same graffiti-covered rock for the fourth time and asked if he had any idea where you both were going. "The barkeep said he was just down the road in the casino." Your eyes widened, that was three hours ago!!

You smacked his arm. How the hell did you get from "go down the block to the casino" to being in the middle of the goddamn jungle?! He held your hands and slowly leaned in, his eyes steeled as always. "Don't be ridiculous." He slowly looked around, then squinted his eyes. "The trees moved."

Before you could continue your assault, a twig snapped and you both were suddenly back to back, ready for anything. Out of the shadows, a gorilla poked his head out and grunted at the two of you. You smirked and commented that you didn't know Zoro had a brother. "You wish I had a brother," He replied and turned his head so he could smirk at you. "Then maybe you would finally get laid and stop being such a bitch."

Trust me, you told him, between the two of you he was the bitch. "Oh really?" Yes, only a bitch would need to hide behind swords, instead of using his fists. Something flashed in his eyes. "Bet on it?" Of course you did.

After lending you his two swords (he wouldn't let the white one out of his sight), you both ended up not only finding your bounty, but you also managed to destroy half the island while getting used to your new weapons. You won, but comprised and called it a tie.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘶𝘵:

It took quite a while for the both of you to realise you had feelings for each other. In fact, it wasn't until Zoro had up and joined Luffy that you felt... lost without him.

It's weird when you've spent so much of your life with someone and they suddenly stop being there. Hell, you'd even crashed in the same bed more often than not just cause it'd save you some coin. It was just... weird without him there.

You wouldn't see him again until you just so happened to be at the Baratie when he dueled Mihawk. It was practically a slaughter, and it hurt seeing someone you'd grown to care for fall to the ground - sliced practically in half.

You helped the rest of the crew get him onboard and asked Luffy, the weird, rubber man Zoro dedicated his life to, if you could stay with them until the swordsman was healed. Luffy, of course, agreed and you stayed by your partner's side until he woke up a short time later.

It was almost midnight when he groaned and shuffled in his sleep, slowly opening his eye and sighing when he caught sight of you. "Thought I'd finally gotten rid of you." Not caring if he was hurt, you smacked his arm and told him you thought he had died. He scoffed and groaned. "I wouldn't die like that, shithead."

You called him the shithead and tried to hit him again, but he caught your wrist. This wasn't like the other times he's done this, however. His grip slowly lessened and his hand slowly ran up your skin until his fingers intertwined with yours. He brought your combined hands up to his cheek and placed your palm against his skin.

His eyes flicked closed for a second and he seemed to just breathe for a moment, like he was savouring your touch. Those steely greys met your eyes once more and a slow sigh escaped him. "You better not leave me again." He mumbled against your skin and placed a kiss to the inside of your palm.

A smirk crossed your lips, bet on it?

His own smirk crossed his features, the one that you'd grown to both love and hate and the one that made your heart flutter. "Of course."

#zoro x you #zoro x reader #zoro x y/n #opla x reader #one piece headcanons #opla zoro #fanfiction #anime #one piece

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extraaa-30 · 4 months

Text

Why soft dom Aziraphale + bratty sub Crowley appeals to me

(be serious though they're both switches)*

Soft Dom Aziraphale

1. heaven

An angel is supposed to be the pure one, undefiled, meek, following orders without question, the girl to be got, the prize to be sought after, the white to be soiled. Subvert it! Aziraphale shouldn't be confined to an eternity of zero agency, naivety, and bland pastels. The idea of Aziraphale getting to really own his "bastard" side, getting to be "selfish," be demanding, be in control--delightful.

And, Aziraphale has guilt complexes on his guilt complexes. Because, unlike most of humanity, he is intimately aware of the righteous, pitiless violence that heaven is capable of. And he's made an art of subtly and ceaselessly defying it by being gentle, by demonstrating enormous restraint. He is a warrior who gave away his holy sword. He swerves severely in the direction of being reserved, harmless, feels clear guilt about any strong desires or direct asks. He has an obvious anxiety about excess (the mental acrobatics he does to justify his book collection, for example, are an entire circus). Free him from the fear of going too far!

2. the effeminate gay man

Thee Southern Pansy, "gay as a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide," with the fancy clothes and prim and proper aesthetic, ever the damsel in distress, flamboyant and limp-wristed, the one who is called slurs by children, the one who is sunshine and sweetness, "the nice one."

Except we know he is secretly a bastard! We know this bitch has preferences! Let him own that! The fact that he is effeminate should not automatically make him more submissive I literally hate that. On the inside Aziraphale is cunty and commanding and he should get to be!

3. with Crowley

Let him say what he craves directly so help me god! No double-speak, no games, no lustfully looking but then looking away immediately. Let him consume. Let him indulge in the gluttony he endlessly flirts with yet denies himself out of guilt and fear. The idea of Aziraphale as a gentle dom just seems so healing, like a puzzle piece that finally gets to click into place without shame.

-------------

Bratty Sub Crowley

1. hell

A demon is supposed to be the impure one, the defiler, the temptress, the seducer, the villain who takes, the black that soils. Subvert it! Crowley shouldn't be confined to the tropes of his demonic nature. He does not just take, just ruin. He is not inherently the one with experience while Aziraphale is the naive, pure little virgin. The idea of him being submissive to an angel (well...to this angel) is a delicious way to challenge that narrative.

And oh my god my girl has trust issues. As a demon his mentality is severely no allies, watch your back, the one who was cast out, rejected for a first offense, shaky ground, always in danger. He's not supposed to trust others, and he has legit biblically valid reasons to be wary and paranoid. Free him from the fear of trusting someone else to take control!

2. Mr. Cool

Mr. Bond, suave, smooth, stoic, sharp angles, stylish and slick, so very dangerous and criminal, the one with the car, the rebel, the snake. Compared with Aziraphale, he's supposed to be Mr. Hardass, "not nice."

Except we know he is secretly a disaster twink, 110% a soft sad little loser under that facade (and not buried that deep either)! He is a romantic who, in spite of hell, wants to give his angel chocolates! Let him own that!

3. with Aziraphale

Let him be unequivocally, unambiguously wanted oh my god! No guessing games! No trying to decipher what the fuck Aziraphale is really saying to him! Free him from the fear of always being "too fast" or "too late." All this bitch wants is for Aziraphale to be pleased by him, by Anthony J-acts-of-service Crowley! The idea of finally allowing him that...another puzzle piece. So satisfying and healing and safe.

-------------

*They're switches your honor

1. "our side"

Not heaven, not hell. Not angels or demons. Not all black or all white. If you think they don't switch, you're wrong.

2. weight & gender

Aziraphale is bigger and keeps his hair short and has a steadiness to him and all those things are perceived as more masculine by some and therefore stronger and more dominant. Fuck that! His size also is too often viewed as something unattractive, which--extremely fuck that. My boy is a treat and a catch. He should get to feel pretty and soft in a totally uncomplicated way as often as he goddamn wants.

Crowley is skinny, often has longer hair, has an absolute treasure hoard of gender, and there's a flightiness to him that's perceived as more feminine by some and therefore weaker and more submissive. Again I say fuck that! His slimness likewise is too often viewed as more desirable, more malleable and able to be cowed; to which I say: die! He is no dainty flower. He actually can often be commanding and capable. Take him seriously.

Furthermore: Aside from the obvious fact that weight, gender, and d/s all have jack shit to do with each other, subverting these tropes remains as important as subverting the other ones. Aziraphale should get to feel delicate and wanted just as much as Crowley. And Crowley should get to feel powerful and in control just as much as Aziraphale. To deny either of them those experiences...bad! Shut up!

3. Crowley & Aziraphale

Their dynamic is already basically gentle dom Aziraphale & bratty sub Crowley. Like literally inches below the surface lmao it's not that hard to spot (see: Az pouts about paint on his jacket, Crowley instantly rushes to fix it but in a cunty way; Crowley pins Az to a wall and Az isn't even slightly intimidated or out of control).

The problem is, they're not talking (see: Az can't ask directly; Crowley has to act tough). Which is why I personally feel that a more honest d/s dynamic, with all that unspoken ritual out in the open, would be an enormous relief for them.

That said, it's not fair to confine them to that familiar dynamic! Crowley isn't a sad wet rat all the time-- let him plan things and have them work out for once. Let him be (on purpose lol) successfully seductive! Likewise Aziraphale deserves to let his fucking hair down. Let my girl not have to do everything in this goddamn house! He deserves to not have to be the one in control all the time. He has trust issues just as deep as Crowley's, and equally deserves to feel safe and wanted.

Also Aziraphale is too much of a hedonist to not want to try everything. If you think he's sticking with one dynamic you are a fool. A clown. As my French-speaking 6,000 year old middle aged babygirl would say: an imbécile.

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I wrote this for me, but if you read this far I hope you enjoyed it lol peace & love on planet earth

#go #good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale #crowley #good omens meta #extraaa

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sleepypandaarts · 1 year

Text

Mama Shroud x Papa Shroud’s HC’s:

Some fun hc’s I came up with cause I was not expecting Idia and ortho’s parents to be like that. And mama shroud’s voice is so cute I was not expecting that but I am living for it

Everyone’s confused

He’s confused

The gloomiest guy and the cutest girl in the Land of Woe getting together??? What’s next? Pig’s fly? The land of woe will malfunction and they all die under the sea?

Everyone thinks she’s dating him out of pity

In reality, she was the one who asked him out first

He probably thought he was dreaming until she pinched him to confirm that no it wasn’t a dream and no this wasn’t a prank and no this isn’t the punchline on reality TV

Blacked out for a good few hours. By the time he came to he was in the infirmary and she was gone.

Definitely thought it was just a dream until his mother congratulated him on getting a date

Like a real 3D human one

Blacked out again

Needs at least a good 6 months to mentally prepare

He has 1 month

His mom helps him because he’s still in shock

His mom also has to help him to his date because he can’t feel his legs

Honestly would’ve collapsed if not for his mom holding him up when he saw Eleanor all pretty and dressed up

Doesn’t really remember the first date

Was kinda just smiling that creepy Shroud smile. The waiter came by and asked if she was being held hostage

“Really? I think his little fangies are cute!”

She’s so patient and kind asking about his projects and talking about her own

She’s one of the smartest people in the land of woe and has plenty of offers from different departments in S.T.Y.X. A true genius. Even more reason why she was out of his reach

Even though he was the son of Aidne shroud and the next to inherit S.T.Y.X his smarts were mediocre. Average

There was no reason she would date him except for money. She’ll probably dump him once she’s done milking him of his money

But the thing is she doesn’t ask him to buy anything and he’s the one buying things for her out of his own free will. Things he saw her look at like jewelry, stuffed toys, dresses

She helps him with his projects all snuggled up to him in his hoodies

Still convinced she’s gonna realize he’s a loser and dumb him

Then skip a few years and he’s at the altar with the prettiest woman in Twisted Wonderland

Another few years later he’s holding the cutest little baby with that same shroud hair

Some headcanons about their designs:

I’m a sucker for goth bf x pastel gf

Papa shroud likes the whole goth thing but doesn’t really have the confidence to pull it off. Not until mama shroud tells him he looks hot

Confidence + 1000

Mama shroud’s name is Eleanor

Idk I just like the name and it means light.

Haven’t really decided for a name for papa shroud

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short-black-diamond · 9 months

Note

Enemies/Hater #3 for Kunigami?

I know that man has a monster sized dick

AYO THIS COMBINATION IS DANGEROUS, you are playing with fire here, anon!!!

warnings/summary: smut obviously, Our hero looses his v-card~!, bullying, and fluff, also a lil confession scene, and you and Kunigami are huge dorks, also I'm putting one of my kinks in there (find out what it is!), and Oliver slander (I love him but I don't like his cheater-nature, so imma use it as a plot device)

again, this will be as vanilla as possible. or not.

word count: 5.1 k words oh man...✌💀😭

taglist: @kyuzra, @ann-teige, @loser-vxbez

---

Tea-kettle.

your father always called people who took too long in the traffic with their cars to drive around tea-kettles. When people acted like dumb children, when people got on his nerves...tea-kettle.

Simple, but sophisticated.

And, well, you took after your father.

You just had the biggest luck of having no other male than Kunigami as your new roommate for the new semester, and for the most part, it was nice with him.

Well, except for the part that his clothes were basically everywhere, and even in places they shouldn't be, for example worn and sweaty and stinky socks the kitchen?

But that was not the only ick he had. He was way too calm and tried to mansplain you over and over again with stuff you'd do with your girl-math.

And that would always lead to arguments. I mean, who cares if the coupon expired, the staff would close an eye on a sweet thing like you and done was the thing, so why did the orange haired guy have to mind your business?

"Jeez, can't you let me be for once?"

"You're not doing it right. The coupon has expired-"

"Why can't you mind your own business?", you'd say in an annoyed tone, with the male looking down at you, confused and also slightly irritated.

"Because it's not fair for the workers-"

"They were still ready to accept it, dude. I even told them before you came back with your pack of 'protein' chocolate bars."

And then he'd look to the side with a frown and a cute pout.

And, well, you've grown to hate him a bit because of that. When he was gone for practise or afternoon school, the apartment would be silent and pleasant, with you being able to clean up everything and even cook something nice as he'd come home.

But, as soon as he'd come in, he'd ask stupid questions like; "How much kcal does a portion of your food have?", "Is it oily?", "You cooked too much."

Ugh! Can't he let you be for once? You also don't ask him about everything!

"Stop asking me those questions, and just eat what I cook!", You'd exclaim in an annoyed tone, already irritated by the mere smell of his sweat (caramel*cough*Bakugo*cough*), and you'd huff.

And then, Kunigami Rensuke would have the audacity to ask you why you behaved like that, because he was just asking normal questions and he liked keeping a diet.

...yeah, would be hard for somebody who wasn't japanese and only knew how to cook cultural and traditional home-food.

and it is tiring. Having the same arguments over and over again.

And thus, you gave Kunigami the name "tea-kettle", leaving him dumbfounded at the nickname insult. whenever he asked you what you meant by that, you'd just huff and tell him that you were busy with somehting.

But, that was not the only thing that made you irritated and angry the whole time.

You had just broken up with your boyfriend Oiver, having him caught cheating on you with a blonde bitch who couldn't even hold a candle next to you.

And you were horny.

More than the average human.

So...you ordered a few dildos...which were pretty big.

...

Kunigami thought you were cute, but weird. Easily frustrated and pretty irritable. you were a feisty woman.

He didn't know why you'd always snap at him when he'd ask you simple questions. He always apologizes when you scold him for forgetting to do something or doing something wrong.

He doesn't know why you are like this. Even though you're a great roommate who loves a clean home and can cook, he doesn't like your attitude.

Not a single bit.

...okay, maybe a little. But most of the time, it irritates him as well. He's just glad that he could have a silent night because you were not a night owl...until you became one.

And he also had to listen to the noises you made...making him blush, and also move his member into a stiff position.

Kunigami had trouble deciphering your personality. He had trouble getting smart from your 'girl-math'?? and why you always yelled at him with his clothes.

He can't be blamed when they fly all over the place, he also forgets where he placed his belongings, but now he's the one irritated.

Now, since a month, he has to listen to you going dumb over fucking a dildo, having to listen to your moans, whimpers and gasps while you pump it in and outside of you.

and it was also you who said a month earlier that you didn't like dicks.

That you despised them. That they looked weird.

You said that dicks were disappointing.

But why were you riding one then? Did something happen for you to change your mindset?

...

It was a late afternoon when you came home to the apartment just like you left it, which meant that Kunigami wasn't home yet. Perfect.

You quickly went into your room, taking off your bottoms and then taking out the dildo you purchased just recently. It was bigger than the ones you were using previously, and you could also stick it to the ground or wall to ride it.

and just as you were done putting it into your awaiting vagina, Kunigami stepped in to your room. He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, staring at you with a serious expression and a small blush as you tried to cover yourself in a haste while you yelled profanities at him.

you were embarassed to be seen like that, having a big cock inside you, and being caught by your crush roommate doing something explicit like that. But...it turned you on. you were an exhibitionist at heart, and getting caught in such a position, with your legs spread to have him see your pussy and thr orange dildo inside it...it made you wet.

"You said that dicks were dissappointing, so what is that?", he mused and took in your form. Your brows were furrowed, face red...from embarassent or pleasure? you were panting like a bitch in heat, and he also caught sight of the large silicone cock you had buried deep inside you.

"Not your dick, that much is clear!", you snapped back. you wanted to yell at him to leave the room. To blackmail him. but...you also wanted to see where this was going. He didn't look disgusted with you being horny. He didn't look disappointed...more...amused?..maybe also aroused?

He huffed in amusement before sitting himself down on your desk chair manspreading, making you ogle at his hard-on, which was way larger than the one you had inside of you. He nodded his head to your direction, smirking.

"C'mon, tell me. Why should my dick be disappointing?", Kunigami asked and slowly took his hands from his thighs up to his zipper. You gulped as you watched him like a hawk.

"hmpf! B-because you probably have a small di-", and gone was your voice when Kunigami took it out. too heavy to stand upright was the seven inch penis he held in his pants, thicker than a soda can, and veiny was it too.

Kunigami bit his lip as he blushed from your wide eyes. Kunigami had no idea what the fuck he was doing. Not a single idea.

He was the biggest virgin after all, but he knew from his friends that he had a rather large cock. However, you were the first one to actually see it. The first female, to be precise.

and, well, since you were a girl and also somehow his crush, Kunigami felt his ego and pride increasing every passing second your eyes lingered on his dick.

"Do I have a small dick, ____?", came out in a soft, deep tone. You took a shaky breath before closing your eyes and shaking your head no.

You were salivating, in your mouth and your pussy. His cock was glorious. it even looked big in his hands, which were also pretty big to begin with. you gulped down your saliva before you tore your eyes up to his face. "N-no...", you choked. You forgot about the cock which rested inside your pussy and just thought about his, your eyes widening and gasping when he drove his thumb over the head.

It looked amazing, just that single movement, with him rubbing his thumb around the tip of his head. "hnn...mm...", he whimpered and moaned as he slowly started to masturbate.

"Th-then why...of fuck...why do you hate me?", he gritted through his teeth when he applied pressure while rubbing himself. your eyes widened and you blushed even more.

You raised yourself to walk over to him and emphasize that you indeed didn't hate him anymore, but you forgot that you had somehting inside you, and you gasped when you felt the dildo drag his thickness along your walls.

Kunigami saw it. the way the dildo raised itself a bit while you were trying to stand up from your seat, how wet it was...he moved his hand up and down his dick once with force, and flinched with a whimper.

"ahh...I-I don't hate you...!", you moaned when you sat back down. But you raised yourself right again. If Kunigami made himself feel good, why shouldn't you?

"Oh yeah? ...th-then why are you a-*hiss*-always yelling??", he groaned when he saw you slowly riding the dildo. your boobs were jiggling with every rise and fall you did, and he also couldn't ignore the slapping sound which erupted softly. He gulped and sighed shakily as he flicked his wrist around his cock.

"mmh, because you never do what I tell you!...ah..hah...Your c-clothes are always thrown somewhere...oh...a-and you always forget to do stuff!", you exclaimed, speeding up your thrusts on the cock.

Kunigami hissed in pleasure when he pressed down on his dick head. His dick twitched painfully at the way you were assaulting the dildo. he was jealous that he wasn't inside you. He bit his lip, glaring at the orange dick.

"why is it orange??", he asked after he stopped jerking off for a moment. you somehow blushed even more. "...i...um...", you spoky shyly, looking at the ground in front of you.

And, well, he took it as a chance to stand up and walk over to youpushing you onto your back harshly. You gasped when his rough hands touched your soft body, and he hovered over you with a smirk, sitting on his parted knees and toes, your legs on his thighs as he brought his hand up and down his dick while the other one took hold of the dildo inside you.

"does it...remind you of me?", he asked softly, quietly, as he slowly took out the dildo. you held in your breath, not daring to say anything. you were embarassed, laying on your back with your legs over his and seeing him so...seductively...majestically...on his knees as he looks down on you.

Suddenly, you were filled up to the brim, knocking the air out of your lungs. Kunigami pressed the plastic cock into you with force, and you choked on your own breath.

"Come on, ____...answer me.", he says in a deep tone, and you could hear a hint of irritation but moreso desire in it. You averted your eyes shyly.

"yes...", you breathed out and looked at him. you felt bare, with no bottoms and you also decided to wear a low-cut, tight shirt with no bra. you had cute thigh highs though.

And Kunigami...well, like I said...he looked majestic, with his tight shirt, having sweated a little into it, making his abs and pecs more defined, along with his pants nearly getting torn open as they tried holding his muscular and flexed thighs covered. and then there where his arms, one being directed to your frame while the other held his member.

and...his eyes...his face...he looked so handsome...like a prince, or king...he was your hero.

He huffed in amusement before leaning more and more down, until he was hovering over your torso. his hands were now planted on either side of your head as you looked at him with wide eyes, feeling his hot, big dick against your stomach and the dildo inside you get sucked in by your pussy.

you gulped when he took a strand of your hair and kissed it. "Listen, ____...I'd...like to do it with you.", he spoke gently, softly, only for you to hear as he gazed at you through his lashes. he had a small blush on, even though he was literally jerking off to you in front of you a few moments ago.

your face heated up. you were surprised he even wanted to have to do anything with you. but, you should've seen it coming when he didn't call you disgusting and took his cock out instead.

"why?", you asked, feeling shy and vulnerable underneath him. His gaze on you was intense and you couldn't help but look away in embarassment.

Kunigami carefully put one of his large hands on your cheek and slowly directed your face to look at him. "Because...even though you have an attitude with me, you're actually a pretty sweet person...I mean", he spoke and took one of your hands and softly tracing his thumb on the back of it, "you clean up the apartment...you cook nice meals...and you're also a pretty chill roommate, although we often get into arguments."

you huffed in embarassment. "how dare you confess to me while I have a dick inside me and yours is hanging out?!"

Kunigami blushed as well. "I-I want to do it with you! And you asked me why! So I answered!"

there was a moment of silence as you two stared at each other, completely flustered. Then you brought your hands up to his face. he blushed once more. you frowned at him with red cheeks.

"then...l-let's do it...", you whispered before you kissed him. His eyes widened when your lips connected with his. Rensuke's eyes fluttered to a close as they rolled back and he kissed you back passionately.

you moaned against his lips when he parted the first kiss and opened his mouth, making out with you. his tongue rubbed and danced against yours, and you could taste some of the leftover soup he must've eaten which you prepared earlier.

While he was getting lost in the feeling of your mouths clashing against one another and your sweet moans, one of his hands started to wander as the other one held himself up above you. the one which wasn't holding himself upwards caressed your side, then went up to gently squeeze one of your bra-less tits, groaning against your lips when he felt the soft flesh spill out between the palms of his hands.

he kissed your nose before trailing his kisses south. his lips made contact with your jaw, then three kisses down your throat and neck, a few smacks against your pretty collarbone until he neared your boob.

your legs were wrapped around his hips and your arms around his neck. you were letting soft sighs and moans escape you when he did his ministrations.

it was silent. no words spoken as you let him do as he pleased with your body, and you were pleasantly surprised when he didn't start fucking you like you were some kind of whore, like Oliver did.

No. He treated you like his lover. Like his wife.

You sighed shakily. And then he stopped.

"Kuni-" "Rensuke.", he interrupted you, looking at you with fond eyes.

"...Rensuke...", you started then, in a trance as you looked at the handsome male above you. "why...why did you stop?"

He looked to the side sheepishly, a blush coating his cheekbones. "D-do you maybe have ...a-a condom? Don't wanna risk it...", he said quietly, shyly as he swallowed the lump of saliva.

You nodded then. 'of course! gosh, I'm so stupid!', you thought as you rolled to the side to take something from the drawer on the night stand. A pack of XXL (does that even exist?) condoms.

His eyes widened when you gave him a single pack while you took a few more with a red face. then you quickly tucked the rest away. "w-why...do you have a pack of condoms?", he asked. Last time he remembered, you told him you were single, so why...?

"I had a boyfriend named Oliver, but he cheated on me...", you mumbled as you laid there on your stomach, showing him your body from behind and even though Kunigami felt bad for you, he bit his lip when he saw your juicy ass and thighs.

"How dare he...!?", Rensuke seethed instead and ripped off the pack. your shoulder flinched as you listened to the sound of him taking out the lubed condom and hissing as he slowly put it over his dick.

"are you okay?", you asked softly over your shoulder, glancing at him. then you turned around completely with an angry face.

"WHAT THE HELL!?!", you yelled when he took off his clothes, which...landed all over the place...again...in a random room though.

He rolled his eyes playfully. "I'll pick 'em up later, sweetheart", he grumbled under his breath as you turned around on your stomach again and huffed in annoyance. However, you weren't prepared when you felt your ankles get grabbed and you yelped when you got pulled backwards.

your lower half was out from the bed, with your knees and feet on the ground, your hips at the edge and your upper body on the bed. you turned around again and glared at him. "what was that f-mmh!"

ye, he shut you up by kissing you. his hand held your throat as he made you look to the side and he kissed you passionately, pulling at your nipple with the other hand before releasing it and trailing his hand lower to play with your clit a little. He couldn't find it and massaged your pussy lips instead. but it also felt nice.

You moaned against his mouth when he finally found the nub though, and assaulted it by rubbing his thumb up and down on it, while applying pressure. His hand on your neck tightened, and the dildo you still head inside you got squeezed by your walls.

you panted and whimpered against his lips. He leaned his head back to look at you. He smiled while panting as well, and only now did you feel his dick rub against your butt. "does...can...could he make you feel like this?", he whispered and kissed your cheek.

you keened at his words and sighed. "No. n-never- ah!", you yelped and your back arched when he took off your dildo from you. You felt empty and whined at the loss. he chuckled as he looked at the slick-covered cock.

"My turn."

You blushed heavily at that.

He then placed the dildo on your bed, right in front of you, as he aligned his cock to your entrance. your toes curled inside your highs as you glanced behind you with a nervousness you didn't even feel when Oliver fucked you.

"d-do you think it'll fit?"

Kunigami looked up with a parted mouth before smiling fondly at you. "...I'll make it fit."

You "eep!"ed. how could he say something like that?!

"w-wait, have you had sex before???"

"Nope, but I hope you'll let me practise."

Your mouth stood open as you stared at him in disbelief and he chuckled nervously. "J-just relax-"

"THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!", you yelled in fear and gripped the bedsheets tightly. Kunigami scoffed. "C'mon, I'm sure your ex had a big cock as well, no?"

"Not as big as yours...!", you retorted with an annoyed pout but you flinched when you felt the head of his penis press against your pussy. even though your legs where spread, you could feel him touch your pussy and your inner thighs, that's how big he was.

you started to have second thoughts. "H-how ab- AHH!", you yelled, when he pressed his head inside. you two took a minute to regain your breaths. you were surprised that it didn't sting as much as you thought, but it still hurt, but you liked it, somehow.

and Kunigami was having his face directed to the ceiling as his mouth stood open in a gasp. He didn't know that your pussy was so tight, even after you've been having that huge ass dildo inside of you. how was that even possible?

"S-...sorry, sweetheart! I-I...fuck...I c-couldn't help--ohhh...myself!", he exclaimed as he felt your pussy pulse around his head. he tried not to thrust into you or fall unconscious from the amount of pleasure he got. You were mewling on the bed.

It just felt so good, even if it pained you very much. "Please...wait a lil more...", you asked, but Kunigami wanted to keep going. He then called you the nickname you used as an insult on him.

"You're such a tea-kettle, y'know that?", he groaned as he leaned onto you from behind and right into your ear and stroked your thighs, ass, back and sides with his large, warm hands. you squirmed in embarassment and pleasure.

"w-what's that s'posed ta mean!?", you asked right afterwards but gasped when his fingers played with your nipples. "How about you fix your attitude 'round me, love?", he asked in a whisper instead before he kissed the back of your shoulder with closed eyes.

You hated him. More than you ever could. How dare he speak to you like that, hah?!? Makes you regret your life choices by pushing his dick inside of you and then having the fucking audacity to tell you to "fix your attitude"??? And also how dare he make you feel so special? Asking you for consent before he did something like putting his dick inside of you and then also respecting you for wanting to wait a bit to adjust?

What the fuck?

With Oliver it just went straight to fucking, but with Kuni- ahem, Rensuke...it was more like...making love.

you had to watch your tone around Kunigami. He was a good guy. you blushed and after a while, you put your right arm up to scratch his head.

"y-you can move now...", you muttered shyly and prepared to get knocked out with a single thrust from him, but you were met with a Ransuke who massaged your hips in order to distract you from the oncoming pain as he pushed his dick more into you with a tempo which was slower than a snail.

It nearly didn't hurt at all when he bottomed out, having had to ask you to spread your legs a little more so that he could fit inside you fully, but even that didn't help as there was still a bit less than half of him outside. Rensuke gulped before chuckling breathlessly.

Now, your walls were literally pumping him at this point, and he tossed his head back with a groan.

"h-how do you feel, pretty?", he asked as he looked at your upper body which lay on the bed. your eyes were closed. Peacefully.

He panicked. "_-____?!"

You jolted. "what?!", you yelped, feeling fuller than a thanksgiving turkey. You just wanted to rest, because you felt like you coud fall asleep like that. your knees started to hurt, though.

"Oh, thank god...I thought you were unconscious...or worse...!", he said in a scared tone and hugged you. your eyes widened.

Oliver didn't care for you like that. He just fucked you, and that was it. He didn't really take care after the sex. he just threw a wet washcloth at you and left.

You felt like crying. "I-thank you, Rensuke...", you spoke softly and moaned when his dick twitched. "S-sorry..."

You giggled before pressing yourself against his hips, biting your lip and moaning aloud when you felt him go deeper inside you, and Rensuke grabbed the sheets tightly as he grinded against your butt. He cursed a lot because of that before he grabbed your hips. "S-stop. stop it, please.", he begged, and you stopped abruptly.

"wanna stop completely?", you asked as you turned around, seeing his taller frame rise and fall rapidly as his head hung low. "N-no...just...c-can we...take a small break? and maybe do it on the bed?", Rensuke asked shyly as he looked up at you with a pained expression.

you were turned on. too much. You nodded silently and began to miss the fullness his dick gave you, feeling completely empty now. You shakily stood up and hugged his head, playing with his hair as he hugged you back, still on his knees. "sorry..."

"Hey, it's okay, baby.", you shushed him, and made him face you as you looked at him fondly...lovingly. "It's your first time, Rennie, don't want you to fuck me into oblivion, y'know? We can also cuddle if you want. Also thank you for telling me to stop. Many people pull through the act even if they don't like it. I'm glad you let me know."

your voice was gently, your fingers working wonders on his hair and head, and he sighed contently, hugging you tightly before he stood up, towering over you and gently pushing you back to the bed.

You crawled back with a grin when he smiled and crawled to you with a hint of mischiviousness. You bit your lip excitedly when his face neared yours. "You're just so pretty, ____...the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.", he said softly, and before you could react did he kiss you clumsily on the lips.

Seems like he never kissed anybody as well...was he a hardcore virgin? And your heart fluttered at his praise. you kissed him back with more passion, your experience letting you dominate the kissing as you felt him shyly open his mouth for you to enter with your tongue.

And you also took this as a chance to turn the tables. The moment you parted lips, you quickly pushed him back, making him land on his back with a "w-whoah!" as you sat yourself on his hips, his dick right underneath your slick, juicy cunt.

You glared at him playfully before you leaned down and started making out with him again, changing the angle of your head again and again to kiss him differently, and he caught on over time, and soon, your tongues danced together as you eplored each others bodies with your hands.

Rensuke was the first to part, panting as he had his eyes closed in bliss, and his legs twitched violently when you rolled your hips against his groin. he hissed. "f-fuck..!"

you keened at the pleasure, loving how nice the pussyjob felt which you gave him. "you like that, baby boy?", you teased as you drove your hips slowly and with much more pressure up and forward to the head of his dick, and he trembled slightly.

"D-don't call me baby boy...! ....but...feels good...", he gritted through his teeth as he felt his orgasm approach. You narrowed your eyes at him with a smirk before you took his dick gently, holding the heavy schlong up as softly as possible, with him looking at you confused through his blissed out face.

He didn't have to ask you what you were about to do though, because you just raised your hips, putting his dick at your entrance, and then lowering yourself again slowly. And this time, his dick went in fully. you had a belly bulge. Kunigami wanted to cum right then and there.

He moaned shakily when he felt your pulsing walls again, placing his hands on your waist this time as he leaned forward and kissed you. "mmh, y'make me cum..."

"I hope so...'m close too, y'know?", you answered and took one of his hands, placing it on your throat. He raised his eyebrow. "felt good when you did this...do it again. But apply some more pressure...here.", you said softly when you placed his thumb and middle finger on either side of your pulse points.

he frowned with a blush. "I-I only did it in the heat of the moment, ____-"

"And I loved it. Please do it again?"

He looked at you for a moment before he sighed. He then thrusted upwards, up into your g-spot and put slight pressure on your throat, cutting off your air support little by little.

your eyes were glazed over a bit as they fluttered and you began raising and lowering yourself on him. He applied more pressure and you groaned, feeling the air leave your lings, and your vagina pulsed around his dick, making him gasp sharply.

In less than a second, you were back on your back now, with him still being inside you, you gasping for air as he left your throat to stabilize himself before he began thrusting into you, knocking out the air from your lungs like that as well.

you scratched his muscular wrists with your nails as you mewled and gasped and moaned at the feeling of his dick pumping in and outside of you. He was panting above you, and he reveled in the view of you.

Lost, but looking up at him as if he was some sort of divine person...like he was a hero...

He groaned loudly before he adjusted his legs and spread them a bit more a part before he swiveled his hips against yours in a slapping motion. "Oh shit...fuck! Y're so tight...hnnnghh~...", he whimpered as he tried keeping up his ministrations, and you were gasping and moaning.

He wanted to cum so fucking badly...but he wanted you to orgasm on his dick first. he then looked down from your face, to your jiggling tits with each thrust he made -he smiled dumbly at that- before his gaze travelled more downwards to where your pussy and his dick met. your pussy was glistening with your own juice, which allowed Kunigami to go into you much easier.

He put his finger on your clit and swiped it around quickly as he felt like he could cum any second now. And it also didn't help any more as he felt you gasp sharply and whine at his fingers.

Everything was so...loud. The slapping of skin against skin, and the wet sounds of your juice and his dick rubbing around inside you, the rustling of sheets as you kicked your feet around in pleasure, the bed creaking with Kunigami's thrusts, and the sounds which you and Rensuke made.

you came first with a cry of his name, squirting as you did so, and Kunigami's mouth stood wide open as he watched you, while cumming into the condom inside you.

He and you were a panting, sweaty mess.

"uh...d-did you two have to do it in my room?", came the shy voice of Ness, your new roommate. He was a blushing mess when he saw you two, but you noticed his boner (which he poorly hid), and so did Kunigami.

---

bwahaahahah

I hope this was good enough, and I will read it again after some time.

Read you in the next post! Requests are CLOSED (...until I say they're open again)

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teddie-bear420 · 4 months

Text

CHARLIE AND VIVA

The princess of hell and her trusty knight are on a mission to save sinners souls!

Doodles and rambles under the cut, and I mean like walls of text

be aware I make shit up a lot, I was very high on drugs and gay sex

Welcome to the show I’ve made in my head, ok where to begin? I guess with how boring I find Charlie nd vaggie in the show proper, I like them, they just don’t have any real spice to them. Charlie is a just a girl, she has no real friends and just surrounds herself with others problems. Check out the beginning of episode four, husk just says that out loud, we saw it once with angel dust and then they totally drop it for the rest of the show. I wanted to see Charlie fail and get back up again, but we don’t see that! Idk maybe I want more out of the text but I hated to see Charlie act like a baby, not a young woman, I makes me so mad that she isn’t really friends with anyone, no fun dynamics, Charlie kinda just looks at her guests and ‘employees’ but she never sees them. I mean like give me some bff moments with Charlie, she has no friends, she a loser baby!

Vaggie is the best better at making friends, and enemies honestly she is the second protagonist. I hated her until I saw her fuck ass bob. I fell in love

Ok so I made a prequel hazbin design that I just fell in love with, here she is. Ok so girls is bugs, vaggie is a moth and lute is a mantis, they grew up together in heaven. Being raised to be an exorcist was pretty sweet except for the military indoctrination!

Wonderful lute convo here

So vaggie is now in hell and is saved by Charlie, who believes that vag is a sinner. Eventually they get together romantically and start working on the happy hotel project, then they get angle dust as a guest. You know the deal, but how did vag get with Charlie? Who asked who out? I love how loyal vaggie is to Charlie but WHY is she so loyal? I think because Charlie wanted to ask about vaggies life and she took the opportunity to become a new person !

I think having char be the ray of sunshine in such a violent place attracts the lost and broken to her is cool. Vaggie tells ridiculous lies about her human life like being ran over by a horse. And being a pirate captain. Vaggies colors go from green to purple, aesthetic goes from Joan of arc lesbian to a captain Ching Shih lesbian yknow what I mean?

Charlie is taken in with this eccentric woman and befriends her. And also when Charlie and vaggie start to get closer char gifts her the red ribbon that vaggie wears all the time. The pink red is Charlies color and it sticks to all of her friends! Like when angel and Charlie get really close she gifts him the hot pink gloves and he wears them for the duration of the show. (I’ll write about that in another post lol)

MY CHARLIE loves to feed people food she’s made, so she just keeps feeding vaggie and the she starts to beef up, buff 5’4 vaggie lets gooooo. They cook food together and help sinners together. I forgot to mention that Charlie in my perfect world does actual charity work, she works down at the soup kitchen and cleans up the parks and gives people work, Charlie is just constantly busy and never gives herself a day off. Vaggie does her best to help while constantly working on her prodigious.

These girls also work at the local theater! They do a lot of dress up! And i really liked the idea that Charlie is astanged from her dad and is no contact with him. So she isn’t some princess that’s throwing money at the poor. She builds her own motel for the happy hotel project so that when it is destroyed they can build the hotel proper and have an actual emotional impact.

A little comic I sketched of out, Charlie was calling her dad for help with the hotel but he completely shuts her down and calls her idea dumb, I liked when Lucifer was a shitty dad that called Charlie a failure, instead of some sad loser who forgets to call his daughter, like I have a shitty dad and he tore down lots of my ideas and then is confused when I don’t talk to him.

Like idk how there are so many characters with daddy issues but they all are poorly written…

What else is there? Ermmm, I suppose I like Charlie as a demon that looks the most human out of the cast, like sure she has clown makeup as skin but giving her round ears and a demon tail looks super cute. And in the first few episodes Charlie hides her tail and uses it as a belt, and as a show of faith she reveals her tail to the hazbin gang!

#teddz stuff #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie #chaggie #charlie x vaggie #vaggie x lute #hazbin hotel redesign

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grvyrd-drms · 9 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/grvyrd-drms/728382423313924096/hey-followers-do-i-write-some-lame-toby

YESS PLS. I NEED LOSER TOBY CONTENT ☹️

toby rogers being a loser (himself)

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A/N: my boy !!!

CW: nothing much tbh??? murder??? a little angst.

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-gets nervous around women. like yeah on the outside he's all numb and secretive and scary or whatever but lock him in a small room with like nina or kate or something and he's just,,,

-toby wants to be in a relationship sooooo bad but refuses to let himself admit it. tries to focus on his work or go out on a walk when he starts getting all sad and mopey.

-i feel like he's really tall and lanky and has huge feet. constantly walking into stuff and stepping on things. doesn't help when his motor tics swing his arms around either.

-stepped on one of sally's crayons and broke it once. bad things ensued.

-he just looks so DORKY doing ANYTHING. like yeah he's a fucked up deranged serial killer. but also look at him brush his teeth or tie his shoes. dork.

-speaking of tying shoes, toby constantly has to redo his laces. he can't tie shoes correctly. he resorts to just tucking them inside of the shoe most of the time at this point.

-listens to midwest emo..,,,,,, 😧😧😧

-midwest emo or any 'loser music' in general tbh. car seat headrest, modern baseball, the front bottoms, lincoln, american football, pet symmetry, microwave, michael cera palin, merchant ships, tigers jaw, list goes on.

-trips going up staircases too fast

-can't make popcorn cause the kernels popping gives him anxiety. not in a sad traumatic way more like a time traveling cave man way.

-is friendlier to animals than he is to humans.

-will immediately go from heavy breathing, covered in blood hacking someone up to going "psst psst" to the nearest raccoon.

-thinks about lyra a lot. sees her in the sun, the wildflowers. hears her in running streams and girls laughing. toby misses his sister.

-has a lopsided smile!!!!

-has a chipped front tooth from getting the shit beat out of him a while ago. it's not really noticeable but he's self conscious about it.

-when toby yells his voice cracks. i think about this every time i see @crushedsweets drawing of toby and tim arguing and toby yells "get the fuck off me". that. one. piece. specifically.

-gets crushes way too easily. 100% has thought that he's had a shot with every girl his age in the manor. also gets easily obsessed with girls he sees/meets on his missions.

-nothing ever works out though (unless you count the shit show that was his relationship w/ natalie) (im a natalie lover i just feel like it went bad lol)

-and the funniest thing is toby thinks that its top secret that he has no game. everyone knows he's a loser. they all just feel too bad to say it (except jeff).

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hrbtngmrjhwahdnrn i am So Normal About Him (lie)

#creepypasta #ticci toby #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #toby rogers #ticci toby hcs #ticci toby headcanons #specifically toby #toby rogers hcs #toby rogers headcanons #midwest emo #creepypasta proxy #natalie ouellette #clockwork #clockwork creepypasta

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snaileer · 1 year

Text

New Danny Phantom Idea

Ghostly reversal!

Danny phantom but he’s a Zone-borne ghost who was trying to learn teleportation/portals at the same time the Fentons tried to open their portal.

And now he’s half-human!! And he can’t go too long without turning back into a human, which makes him fall through stuff in the zone.

So he starts to spend some more time in the Living Realm- sorry, Earth- and he meets some really cool mortal people, this one reminds him of Technus and this one looks like Ember but less blue and more plants.(What’s a goth?)

And they’re working to help him figure out this whole living thing. Who knew you had to eat and they couldn’t just absorb their atmosphere. Weirdos..

And of course, because he’s now in this crazy new world with all these new things to explore and what do you mean you have a place you can learn about it!!

So Danny starts going to school, except it’s kinda hard with his ghost friends coming through all the time to hang out. (Danny doesn’t really get why the people give him such weird looks for coming in when the front teacher person is already talking)

“What’s your name then kid?”

“Uh… Danny..?”

The Jock raised an eyebrow, “Danny…what, no last name loser?”

Danny froze glancing at the new human friends he’d made, both of which were freaking out and of no help.

A head of red hair blocked his vision.

“Danny fenton. He’s my little brother, Dash. Back off.”

“Danny Fenton. That’s me….” He gave a little wave as the Jock stomped off.

The new red head girl turned around with curiosity in her gaze, “Nice to meet you little brother, I have questions.”

And of course Jazz…. Well she’s just interested to see what ghosts are actually like.

From the first ghost to ever live.

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reuben-7991 · 5 months

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Octavian’s treatment is one of my least favorite things about HoO because it isn’t his character, it’s his lack of one.

We COULD’VE had an excellent character who was a look into what could truly go wrong with blind devotion like Octavian’s, drawing an excellent parallel to Luke’s blind hatred in the original series (Percy even says Octavian reminds him of Luke).

We COULD’VE had a fantastic contrast into a follower’s descent into insanity after making empty promises of power whilst under the influence of a massively elder being, thus leading to said follower’s death.

What makes me especially mad is that Octavian has no backstory. This is a problem with a lot of Roman characters, but Octavian especially. He doesn’t even have a last name. All we know is:

- He’s a legacy of Apollo.

- He used to be sane and probably very charismatic, due to Reyna stating she used to have a crush on him in TTT.

That’s it! One of Rick’s gold stars is that his human characters are just that: human. They have motivations and flaws, deeply personal origins and ideals that affect their actions and their outcomes. None of the villains are just plain villains, evil by birth. They have motives to back up their actions (now weither those motives make sense or not, that’s another story, but they’re still there.) There’s Luke, Medea, Lityerses (who is an entire other can of worms), Circe, Loki, Gunilla, Randolph, hell, even Kronos and Gaea. All of them have reasons for the shitty stuff they did. Octavian is a glaring exception. We know he’s power-hungry, but we don’t know why. We know he’s violent, but we don’t know why. We know he hates the Greeks, but we don’t know why. You may argue ‘oh, he’s a minor character, he doesn’t really get a reasoning’ which is just blatantly untrue on both fronts.

1: Octavian is NOT a minor character in the slightest. He has major roles in the plot throughout the books.

2: Him being a ‘minor’ villain wouldn’t have anything to do with his motivation. Chris from the OG series has stated motivation, and he’s way more minor than Octavian.

Another thing is that Octavian’s insanity is played off almost comically. He’s relatively well put together in SoN, only being super dramatic and reportedly blackmailing Hazel and probably other legionnaires, but by BoO he’s absolutely broken. He’s utterly obsessed with being a hero to the Romans, with being Pontifex Maximus, with killing Gaea and almost proving himself to Apollo (who is utterly disgusted by him), but it’s all either framed as ‘hate this guy more plsplspls’ or brushed away to the side.

I’m torn on his death scene, because it’s a good scene overall but too much of it is humorous in my opinion. Between Will calling Octavian an ‘anemic loser’ (which like. what.) and Leo describing his screams as a little girl’s, it seems almost too light for such a pivotal point in the story. Octavian has truly lost himself to madness, ranting and raving and insisting no, HE has to be the one to kill Gaea, HE has to be a hero.

His death is horrific, yet it’s framed as a silly oopsie.

What the fuck.

Overall, Octavian is a shining example of missed character potential. We could have gotten the Riordan special and made to empathize more with our villain, like what happened with Luke or Randolph from MCGA, but all we get is a crazy blond kid, character so shallow he could count as a tide pool. It infuriates me to no end how in a sea of good, properly motivated antagonists, Octavian is the outlier.

It’s a real shame.

#there’s more but it’s 2 am rn #so #heroes of olympus #the heroes of olympus #hoo #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackon and the olympians #octavian #hoo octavian #octavian hoo #character potential: WASTED #rant post #character rant #pjo hoo toa #i really hope i got my point across #this is kinda all over the place #and stupid #really stupid

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nanomooselet · 4 months

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Little but Fierce

Now, I might be mistaken, but judging by the number of bare pectoral muscles strewn over my dash at any given moment, I'm gonna say Wolfwood is pretty popular? And that's understandable (he's a loser <3) but it's a genuinely terrible shame that Meryl gets overlooked. Especially in Stampede. Orange have done some really amazingly cool things with Meryl.

And it makes me a little nervous to say so, but I think they only could have done them by detaching her from Milly, at least for a time. Milly's still going to show up and I'm confident from this precedent they'll treat her well, so I'm at peace with her absence for now.

Nightow is unexpectedly good in many ways. He treats sex workers as human, which is a low bar that many nevertheless fail to clear, and my only serious disappointment in Maximum was in how the girls vanished for long periods. I recall an interview where he said something to the effect of being reluctant to put them in harm's way, and while I'm disinclined to take anything Nightow says entirely at face value (I don't think he's a liar, but I do think he has a sense of humour that inclines him to kindly trolling, which I respect), that would line up, I think.

I think Orange are taking the opportunity to remedy this disappointment.

It's exciting. It's the kind of writing for female characters in genre media I've always craved. I will not be silenced on how extremely gay I am for Meryl Stryfe.

Unfortunately that means for this first entry, I'll have to talk about Knives. (Whom I also love, but not in a gay way. More an affectionate revulsion. He's fascinatingly horrible, this man.)

So. I've noticed a distressing tendency for Knives's... really almost anything that ever comes out of his mouth (seriously) to be taken as the honest, objective truth. After all, they didn't call him a villain.

And what an honest face he has!

As Knives has it:

Vash is pretty, but he's useless without his brother. He's a powerless, weak, pathetically naïve, blubberingly sentimental little baby who doesn't care about the Plants, too busy enabling humanity's abuse via performing his cringing, grasping abasement before them to notice how his brethren suffer. Knives himself is the more powerful (and much less human-like) of the twins; the strongest and most righteous activist for necessary change now that, sadly despite all good faith attempts at communication, non-violent solutions have failed. He truly has only the best and most altruistic intentions: the freedom of his people, and the happiness of his brother.

Here's the problem. This has always been the problem. Every one of the statements in the paragraph above is false. Except the one about Vash being pretty.

Once more with feeling: They are completely untrue. They are supported by literally nothing. All we have is his word that they're true and there's so much existing evidence to disprove his claims that even the thought of compiling it exhausts me.

However, I did say that Zazie is a truth-teller in this story, didn't I? So let's examine some of Zazie's conclusions.

Now, I've seen reference to the surviving human communities on No Man's Land as "colonisers", and that their treatment of the Plants even before the Fall is analogous to slavery. (My strong suspicion is that Knives is purposefully invoking those comparisons, in fact.) Those are both extremely loaded analogies, culturally and emotionally, and I just want to gently, respectfully caution those who make them against overlooking the more nuanced and purposeful analogies being made. Or maybe should I say, the actual individuals to whom they apply.

Zazie is very careful to say this: Knives told them humans can't be trusted to learn from consuming their home planet. Knives was the one who said humans will have Zazie's planet next, and that only Knives will "use" the Plants correctly - so Zazie should ally with Knives.

Here's what Knives meant by "using the Plants correctly":

I, uh, think Zazie may have made the wrong call on this one! And that Zazie thinks the same.

This is what makes the interaction with Wolfwood so funny and sad - the all-knowing, ostensibly unkillable Zazie is freaking the hell out, staggering under the weight of realising just how apocalyptically badly they have fucked up. Wolfwood, who also directly instigated this disaster but under duress, is grimly amused - he did everything he did fulfilling the contract to protect the kids, even as his conviction failed, even though he would rather have died, even after Livio... and thus he personally rendered all his own efforts and sacrifices moot.

And he's just like, "Heh, yeah. That tracks." This poor boy.

Afterwards, Zazie is confused and even a little saddened that Vash was demonised in the wake of July's destruction. Never let it be said the bug fails to learn from experience: Vash is the one everyone blames? Ah, so he was in fact spectacularly heroic and clever and it's entirely Knives's fault it turned out so badly.

Also, crashing on this specific planet wasn't exactly humanity's choice. Guess whose choice it was.

Go on, guess. Better yet, guess why.

Yeah. It was also Knives who said to Zazie that both he and Vash crashed the ships... trying to stop us. From doing exactly what Knives tried to do the very instant he got the chance.

The thing is, Knives does everything he can to look like he's right by positioning himself as the most authoritative source, but he isn't ever backed up by like... facts. Or evidence. Or reality. Or anything. Ever. He crowned himself king of the Plants. He speaks and acts for them by divine right, apparently. He didn't take a vote or anything - in his mind it's self-evident only he understands the world, and Vash, and the correct way to use the Plants. Because remember that it's not using Plants he gives a damn about, even using them to death in the Last Run, as long it's him doing it. It's being dependent upon humans; he views providing for our basic survival needs as wasteful and inherently, exclusively parasitic, even if we're helping the Plants to survive in turn. Because it's humans that he's frightened of, and he wants the yucky things gone.

The thing is, when he's not being purposefully manipulative (though Vash is the only one he manipulates in person, probably because Vash is the only one he pays enough attention to for his tactics to be effective) he's being a dense fucking idiot. At very few points do his delusions intersect with reality.

The thing is, Knives is a known, proven, and entirely unrepentant liar. It's the logical extension of the way he gaslights Vash. He is in no way a trustworthy source of information.

All that he says is part of a heroic narrative about being the specialest boy evar that he came up with to avoid taking any blame or responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Knives considers himself perfect, but he's made plenty of mistakes, which I do think he would consider mistakes - among them Rem's death, alienating Vash, cutting off his arm and rendering him disabled, and what I suspect to be the large number of Plants killed in the Fall, along with the ones consumed by the Last Run in the desperation that followed.

So he tells himself... little stories. Inside his head. It's how he reconciles it. It's how he copes.

Basically, if you want to find any truth in anything Knives ever says, look closely at what he says, and believe the opposite.

Now, onto my girl and how completely fantastic she is.

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX

#trigun stampede #trigun meta #tristampparty #millions knives #meryl stryfe #i was about to say “liar pants on fire” and then i remembered #...literally tho #meta: little but fierce #terrible terrible plant man

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