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ceilidho · 5 months

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Do you have any advice or tips for writing dialogue? It's what I struggle most with 😩😩😩

haha I wish I did 😩 honestly this one sucks the most for me because I truly feel like I don't understand how people talk, or like, I'm really only beginning to get it. I remember spending most of my teenage years (I started writing fanfiction around age 13 or so) really not understanding how people talk to each other and being supremely confused about it.

Once again, the biggest help you're ever going to get is just watching a lot and reading a lot and paying attention to how people talk. I mentioned this in my other writing advice ask, so I'll just reiterate below and add some other observations I have on how people speak:

If you're writing fanfiction, watch or read the source material as much as possible, until you can almost hear the way the character sounds in your head. Take time to understand things like their accent and how they speak (do they talk a lot or very little? do they use slang or enunciate everything? do they speak quickly or slowly?). Here, you just want to concentrate on the cadence of their speech / their speech patterns. If they speak plainly or use lots of proverbs or turns of phrases, that sort of thing. If you have that down, you've honestly done half the work. Even I often reread my work and go "fuck, all of these people SOUND the same even though they're saying different things".

A super important point I should make before anything else is that dialogue is intrinsic to character. If you have a taciturn, sullen, aloof character, they probably won't be a very emotional or heartfelt interlocutor. The things (the content of their dialogue) they'll want to speak about will also reflect this - they might complain more often, might not offer praise as readily. They won't ask for help or share vulnerable parts of them.

A more positive character will be the exact opposite of that. They might be more eager to offer advice or praise. They might feel nervous or uncomfortable about confrontation or calling someone out if they're doing something the character doesn't like.

Essentially, when you're not sure what a character would say, think about:

Who is this person? What are their core attributes?

What is their end goal from this conversation? (or, if it's just chatter / conversation for conversation's sake, what kinds of topics might they be interested in?)

If there is a goal, how would this particular character achieve it (or would they be unsuccessful if they're too timid or mean about it)? Would they be blunt, circumlocutory, deliberately confusing, manipulative - would they get frustrated with themselves because even the character isn't able to say the thing they want to say?

Another thing you have to understand about the way people speak, even if this is VASTLY frustrating when writing because it takes you longer to get to the point, is that people rarely just outright say what they want. Sooommeeee people do, but even in your personal life you'll know those kinds of people to be blunt, straight forward, etc. Most people aren't like that. If you need to take the extra chapter or couple paragraphs to wrangle the truth out of someone, that's pretty natural.

I try to avoid clichés or anything corny in my dialogue unless it makes sense for that character (for instance, Price might be more likely to use like generic white guy colloquialisms like "you're barking up the wrong tree" or "let's rock and roll" lmaoo).

Anyway, I don't have much advice for dialogue because I also struggle with it, but one thing to keep in mind is that readers are very aware of characterization, even subconsciously. Don't sacrifice good characterization even if it means you need to redo a scene or take longer to get to something.

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dojunie · 3 months

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hi!! i love everything you write and im sure you probably have amazing taste given your work is literally the best so i wanted to ask if you have any fic recs?

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHATS CRAZY! i don't actually read that many fics, despite how often i'm on this damn website. i have the urge to read fics maybe once every few months and binge a whole bunch in one sitting, but because of a whole bunch of factors (like how awfully picky i am with tropes, word count, writing style, etc) i actually just reread the same 'perfect' fics over and over again because i know they're going to do it for me every single time

with that said!!!! here are a few recommendations i have for my insanely arduous and specific taste in fanfiction↓↓↓↓↓↓↓ if you've already read all of these, ask me again and i'll do a deeper dive!!!

the perks of having a hot best friend - by @jaeyunverse

jeno x fem!reader, friends 2 lovers, the writing style/humor in this is top tier!!! just some good ol' friendship, which i always love, especially when the romance doesn't even kick in until like halfway through <3

summer hair, forever young - by @setsugekka

YES! YES! YES! jeno x fem!reader, strangers 2 lovers, one of my favorite jeno fics of all! the writing, again, is perfect to me; post break-up mc meets lifeguard(?) jeno at an amusement park pool on vacation. this one felt really... real? like there were no tropes or cliches or miracles (not that those dont have their on this list lmao, winky winky), just a cute meeting, a cute relationship, and a hopeful ending. also the steamy scenes, if you're into that, are some of the best 👍

i would redo it all if i could - by @dkfile

jaem x gn!reader, jaem essentially groveling for a few thousand words because he made a mistake and mc isn't having it, very very cute :3 shorter than i usually gravitate to but that just means i like it so much that it's in my likes anyway! has a writing style that i really like too <3 jaemin's characterization in this is one of my favorite ever btw, love a slightly pathetic pretty boy

love bites - by (ao3 author) kanacchi

vampire!haechan x fem!reader, roommates/they move in together, I LOVE THE DIALOGUE IN THIS!!!!!! i am a huge sucker (haha, get it??) for subtly funny dialogue + mc's that are kind of snarky, and this fic delivers that <3 hae is the perfect amount of annoying and attractive in this

#searching my likes for these fics has just made me want to read more again lol #i can sense a fic binge on the horizon...#thank you for asking!!!! no one has asked me this before and it was fun skimming all of these #beloved anon

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black-rose-writings · 6 months

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One post so that I don't have to spam yall about the new war

Look at this cinematic shit.

Fucking be-not-afraid moment from evil birb man.

Cool Grineer is cool.

I hate the faces in this game. Just give me back my faceless warframe, pls.

Dang, Corpus kid is doing good.

Tihi plot is happening.

Evil birb man will not stop me from saving space mom.

Evil faun man can, though, apparently.

Also, why did you stab me, that's so mean.

The logo is unpside down oh no.

Oh no, evil faun man has a cult.

Oh no, what did they do to my Mag.

Oh, look, it's little grown-up me and sad broken mom. And look, Ordis is a little drone, that's so cute.

While I was making myself more tea, I gave myself a similar high braid that my operator has. No reason for sharing that besides "haha, look, same hair".

Also, as always, Warframe has banger soundtrack. Evil "We all lift together" with gospel twist. Fucking brilliant.

Oh, look we get to skate with a human.

Operator (I mean, Drifter) as squishy as ever I see. Wo-hoo for stealthing I guess.

I didn't realize until now that my clan still has the fucking Janus key copypasta as our greet text. Thanks bro.

Dang, I hate taking elevators, I want my no-fall-damage Warframe back, pls.

Who the fuck is this shadow and why are they helping me? Oh, Stalker. And Hunhow.

Oh, look, evil warframes.

We're doing parkour with a squishy little human without a double jump. Sure, why not.

Homework - cue school flashback. Fucking brilliant.

I'll admit, I like having the Stalker on my side.

Oh, look, mom has her face back. And more flashbacks.

I should probably go to bed. Or I can make another tea and finish this stuff.

Timeline fuckery, hell yeah. See, this is what happens when you make deals with an eldritch god. I said, way before the timeline fuckery scene.

First thing I need to do after getting my shit back - pet the kitty. Kitty needs to be petted. It is the law.

Also, I'm still giggling at the Corrupted Vor monologue/copypasta in our greet text. Vor knows nothing.

Mimics posing as Ayatans. And my dumb magpie brain fucking almost fell for it. I am in fact an idiot.

Have I mentioned Sentient ships are freaky as fuck. Because they are.

And now my game glitched and I have to fight through the big evil sun eating ship all over again. No, it didn't glitch, this part of the game is just retarded like that. You die, you do this shit all over again. and you have to do a two minute archwing flight on top of that. Or no? Is this supposed to happen? WTF.

Space mom is back. And we see evil god.

Space mom has freckles on her shoulder.

Let's redo This is What You are, but the other way around.

#warframe #warframe the new war #the new war spoilers #tnw spoilers

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solradguy · 10 months

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Hello! I’ve been archiving stuff for a fandom I’m in (RWBY for context) and posting it to a side blog for fun. Really, I’m just compiling stuff I don’t see anyone sharing. I don’t want to misidentify what I’m doing!

I was wondering if you had ever posted anything about how you upscale images? You’re quite good at it, so I was wondering if you had shared any advice. When I upscale, the quality goes way down!

I don’t want you to think I’m using you instead of google! I’ve looked up guides on this, but I’m still struggling a bit. I’ve tried working with “vectors” on the advice of a friend.

Of course, I’m not really sure if this is the polite way to go about this. Maybe it’s a super secret and this is a severe faux pax! Please disregard this if it is! You feel a bit like an upperclassman in archiving (a senpai, if you prefer) and we’ve interacted several times.

Not top secret at all!! It's just kind of... esoteric lol... Been too lazy to explain it. But since you asked... ;P

I use Real ESRGAN for the main upscaling part of the process: https://github.com/xinntao/Real-ESRGAN/

It comes with instructions but basically you plop your image into the same folder as the .EXE and then run this in the terminal:

./realesrgan-ncnn-vulkan.exe -i input.jpg -o output.png

Replace input.jpg with the full filename of the file you're upscaling and then change output.png to what you want the upscaled file to be named. I usually just make it like [OG filename]BIG.png haha

Waifu2x works alright-ish too, if ESRGAN doesn't work on your machine for whatever reason: https://waifu2x.udp.jp/index.html

Once I've got the upscaled file, I do the rest in Clip Studio Paint EX 2.0. CSP's image resizer's not very good, so I don't rely on it. But the Smart Smoothing and general image adjustment tools are useful. Sometimes I'll do some light cleanup in CSP before upscaling the file too, like removing dust with the Clone Stamp or light redrawing of fuzzy parts, etc. Most art/image editing tools will have what you need. I don't get to use Smart Smoothing for archival stuff often enough to say it's absolutely worth buying CSP for.

ESRGAN is a very powerful tool, but it does lose almost all of the image's original texture when it upscales. Things like analog art or anything with rough or grainy textures will get smoothed, but already smooth digital art upscales beautifully. The best workaround I've found for restoring texture is to take the original image, resize it in CSP to the scale of the upscaled image, and then paste the OG image over it, adjust the opacity, and then use the Sharpen filter to fix it from there.

So if the original image is 400x800px and the upscaled image is 8000x16000px, you'll use the CSP resizer to enlarge the OG image to 8000x16000px and use that as the overlay to restore some of the texture. It's not perfect, but it looks better than leaving it entirely smooth. Each image is different, you'll get pretty good at figuring out what texture to use and which to erase. I've found making a greyscale static texture, setting its layer to Overlay mode, and adjusting that helps a little too. I'll put the texture I use under a readmore below.

If the image is too small, not even ESRGAN can help... It's also not too good at text if there's a lot of .JPG noise in the way. If there's text, there's a good chance you'll have to manually redraw it or font-match it and completely redo it.

Good luck!! Hope this helps. Thank you for the compliments, too!!

Sometimes Gaussian Blur-ing this very, very, slightly works with the image better but most of the time I find that leaving it crisp looks the best. Editor's discretion.

#asks #long post

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shopwitchvamp · 1 year

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Hello! I just found you and your clothes are amazing!

Out of curiosity, I’ve noticed some circle specific patterns used for the skater and midi, but I don’t think I’ve seen any maxi circle skirts… do you think you’d ever make some, or even just the circle specific patterned ones, or is it a matter of being just too much fabric?

Hi! Thank you & thanks for being here!!

So this explanation is gonna require a bit of a 🌟Journey Through Time🌟! Get ready for a long answer. (Short version: maxis are just really new)

I ended up thinking about this a lot, because I couldn't even remember my own timeline fully, but here it is:

Made my first skaters - 2015

Joggers, all-over-print tshirts - early 2018

Skirts gained pockets!, first midi - late 2018

Finally made more midis, first solid color skirt - 2020

First gradients introduced - early 2022

Maxis - spring 2022

Skaters go so far back that when I first started selling them it was at con tables that looked like this:

If you ever saw me at a con back in this era, you a real one

So for "circle specific patterns" if you mean one's like the Ouija Board or Demon/Angel Summoning, they were first introduced back when I only had skaters.

In 2020, I finally started to make more midis (only one I had for quite a while was Polkat Dot). Midis quickly became much more popular than skaters, so in 2021 I focused on adding more midi designs (and solid colors which were also more popular than my older designs).

2021 also was my first BIG hit design with the Spider Lily Midis. Which at the time was only on midis & then a variant on joggers.

So, 2022! I knew going in that Maxis would be introduced in the spring. I just had two at first, and they're both not exactly circle designs. Emergence is kinda a combo of a repeating pattern and a circle design, Queen of the Night is just a large motif.

My next chance to add more maxi options was during spring preorders. I didn't have enough time to make straight up new designs, so I needed to pick from existing designs and modify them to fit onto maxis. I went with designs that had already proven popular and wouldn't take a long time to rework for maxis (Spider Lily, Apathy & Spring Fever Gradients, Solid Black, Creepy Eyes, Polkat Dot). Out of all of these, Spider Lily is really the only one that's a "circle design".

After that, in 2022 I had plans for a summer collection, and for a bunch of reasons (including that it was summer, so shorter skirts would be more in demand) I didn't include maxis in that set. The two circle designs in that collection are Jealous Flame & Poisoned Apple. Jealous Flame was very well recieved & I think it'd work well on a maxi, so I'll very likely make that available later this year.

Shortly after that collection went up, a lot of things happened and a lot of things changed. I ended up running fall preorders with less new designs than I'd originally intended. One was another hybrid repeating pattern + circle design maxi, a variant on my Blue Rose midi design.

That pretty much brings us up to date! There are a lot of designs I haven't turned into maxis yet just because there hasn't been enough time. Ones you can expect this year include the Agony gradient, Jealous Flame, maybe Red Rose, and then a number of new not yet revealed designs. The majority of my existing "circle designs" are still only on skaters, are pretty old (most are circa. 2017), and they're not very popular compared to newer designs. I'm not sure if I'll go back and make them work on midis/maxis because I think at this point I'd rather redo them (plans are in place to redo my Demon Summoning design, as an example) or just make completely new designs. I have so many ideas and relatively so little time (and funds), so I have to be very selective about what designs I release, what designs I retire, and what I put on which type of clothing.

I'm sure this is wayyyy more answer than you bargained for, haha. But I hope it was interesting to hear some history! This has also reminded me that I really want to put together a timeline/design graveyard page on Witch Vamp. Little do many of you know that before Witch Vamp was Witch Vamp, things started off with skirts like this:

#witch vamp #ask #reply #anon #long post #the lore

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rexwrendraws · 1 year

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22, 26, 27, and (the most leading question ever) 28

[ ask game! ]

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any?

I don't anymore dfgjfdkfs 😭 but I used to when art was just a hobby thing and had the time to... actually take my time lol, and it was just drummer warm up/carpal tunnel prevention stretches haha. It's probably in my best interest to start doing this again whoops

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended?

Hm... this hasn't really happened to me at all yeat tbh? This the Crow illo I did got misstagged as Sandman once i guess lol

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with?

Sorta? I had a prof a few summers ago who suggested two things to warm up: even spirals and just a row of lines as straight as possible (stacked vertically or horizontally). I do that whenever I'm prepping for academic art stuff, but honestly I don't really bother to warm up for personal illos! Just keep redoing the sketches over a couple of days until I'm happy to move on with it.

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)?

OH, DO I!!!!! The full lists of collaborative zines I've been in so far can be found here, with my first one being in 2020 for Red vs Blue (Roses & Hydrangeas, x, x). After that was One More Time (Daft Punk zine, 2021), World Between Worlds (Star Wars, 2022), and the upcoming Daft Punk: Anthropology (2023). I've hosted a couple collaborative zines too— Color Coded (Tron, 2021), Into the Dreaming (Sandman, 2022), and the upcoming Lost Tales (Tron, 2022-23). I also have a whole bunch of smaller zines I've made for myself (A Tenet zine, a Monty Python zine, my 2022 film journal, etc), but that's not really an art event lol. I haven't done other major art events besides that, though I've done the occasional art/merch trade and gift exchanges. With how busy my year ahead looks, I'm not sure I'll be able to be in any more zines, but it's one of my favorite art things to do and would love to do as many as I can in the future :)

#THANKS FOR ASKING BOWIE!!!!#ask game #rex replies #bowieandthemickjaggernauts

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7ban-sama · 2 years

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avvy made such a nice post listing her favorite amanes... so i'm redoing my top 10 tsukasas, in a proper list format. yosh. ikimashou

starting with my first pick. Ah this is actually, like, is probably one of the first panels from the manga I ever chose to save onto my computer... er. I'm kind of... tsundere, when getting into things, and don't like the feeling of my interest getting "serious", so I kind of refrain from making a screencap folder as long as I can help it. (i suppose it just feels like admitting i like something if i do, or, as if i'm "committing" to something-? anyways.)

I love, the whim, to mess with Yashiro this way. Dangle her, over your mouth, "oooh i'm gonna eatcha... ❤️" I assume it really was a very errant impulse, like it occurred to Tsukasa as he was picking her off the ground. Haha, what if i — [mlehhh] and, it's why he's surprised when she passes out, like are? :3c .....? It simply wasn't meant to terrify her so lol.

... it's just a pretty drawing... [sighs] the depth of the mouth is impressively conveyed... eroi... This is one of those drawings that I really want to study and learn from. I hope I could even get a fraction of Aida-sensei's sheer eroticism that she imbues into things... I love these squinted eyes...

A brief tangent but. Tsukasa really has pretty eyes. maybe I'll sound crazy but they have more of this "cat-eyed" quality than Hanako. I just think the difference in their demeanor is conveyed well. Tsukasa has this... tricky... minxy!? quality, that I think Hanako lacks. Perhaps it's FEMININITY...? *me, a straight guy, saying this* a girlishness-? that lends to Tsukasa feeling like some sort of vixen. she-devil. or something. shiranai.

whatever the case, I feel strongly about Tsukasa having a different quality of eroticism than Hanako. I suppose *straight guy voice* what makes it feel more ♀️ is the fact that Tsukasa doesn't seem to be aware of his own gracefulness, it's just innate... While, what makes Hanako feel like a dripping sleazeball is how very intentional and premeditated his behavior is. He acts like, a shitty perverted guy, getting off on the interaction. For all intents and purposes, when he teases Nene, he means for her to get flustered and upset, and he even relishes in further pointing out her feelings, going "aha, I bet you thought of something dirty..."

Hanako has intent, motivations, targeted desire, but Tsukasa does not. Tsukasa's presentation of himself comes with no ulterior motive, he does not seek to elicit that kind of charged response. He is not trying to make you think he is hot, he is not trying to sublimate you, or express control over you, etc. Whatever you feel, is a result of your own raw reaction to Tsukasa's very nature. I would say that Tsukasa makes me think of an "object of desire", the very thing that is coveted and kept. something something the omega vibes.

... well, we're off to a strong start. let's segue into these caps

Lovely panels, of course, as Aida-sensei is so talented at drawing hands. I love the touch and dragging press of his hand against the glass. So playful... so thoughtlessly elegant. it's why i love this hand from earlier too.

Nice flowing, curving motions. Even when doing something technically violent, Tsukasa looks pretty. I need to go ahead and admit that these hands also make me think about Tsukasa fingering Yashiro's pussy, and thus coated in thick pussy wet and/or period blood. This next panel also really makes me think about period blood.

Gomen. It is all I can think about.

That being said, I do love the whole interaction here, where Tsukasa is like OHP... sorry-! Genuinely having had a moment of thoughtlessness and apologizing to Nene, petting her, yosh yosh, you're a good girl. The absentmindedness of Tsukasa is a fascinating chronic issue. I think it further makes him enigmatic and difficult to predict, so people doubt his sincerity, but I take him entirely seriously here. Didn't mean to freak her out; was just engrossed with the tast at hand, of granting Mitsuba's wish and getting him to ingest No. 3 to replace him etc etc. Nene wasn't intended to be harmed, it was just a reflex...

Being a yorishiro, and interacting with kaii/powerful humans mostly lately, and... perhaps, also, just having a warped sense of time & reality, are all reasons why Tsukasa might just have had this little hiccup, and shoved Nene, before correcting himself. Ouhmm but I dunno, I find this unpredictability attractive, and in general I think Tsukasa's appeal is how he thinks/behaves in an atypical fashion so you're not necessarily prepared for how the interaction could go. He could suddenly make you terrified, forrr just a second. It's cute...

I suppose this is a good place to drop this panel too. This one, I mentally chalk up as an "I learned it from watching you" sort of situation. We see Hanako freely grab, pull, and move Nene around condescendingly, and even outright ignore her resistance. Even her crying, will not stop him... so. I think Tsukasa freely handles Nene in a way that Hanako already established as "ok", simply following his lead. Also, I think their childhood was one where Hanako very freely touched and handled Tsukasa without... mm... Thinking of being too gentle, or considerate, always. Since he's liable to pinch and pull cheeks, as much as he is to pet your hair.

... I'm... realizing how several of these involve Tsukasa handling Yashiro roughly... I think I have a problem. Yabai

Well — moving on.

This one makes me simple. Hi sweetie. Aren't you cute... Just a nice upskirt shot, where we get to see where the black kimono ends. I looove Tsukasa's layers, aren't they so artful-? The ruffled pleats of the hakama, liable to swirl around him, hanging loosely, but then the more taught kimono fabric underneath that... meanwhile, on his top half, the kimono is loose and nearly shrugged to his shoulders, while his undershirt is tighter to the chest. So much fabric, luxurious and silken, hanging and clinging against him. I feel like it makes you want to think about his little body, tucked away beneath it. You can see in this shot, how the kimono hangs further from him, but his undershirt shows you where his body "really" is...

Nice big trapdoor mouth, cutie. He has manifested, peering over you, HELLO. Hi. You know, because Tsukasa's eyes are, like in reality, constricted little pupils, it's interesting that he can be depicted in as having imposing full-black eyes as well. I'm too in love with his little pinprick pupils, so I'm far more liable to illustrate those BUT-! I think solid black-eyed boy gives us a particular taste of something. It's more oppressive, in a way. I likey. It's fun that we can do all sorts of things, in art, and not be beholden to any 1 eyeball rep.

sigh, another drawing that just makes me think, OH AREN'T YOU CUTE. Activates the part of my brain that just loves cutesy anime girls posing. Soo cute... in your big skrit... gah. My love is simple

I also have listened to this part of the anime so much that it's really burned into my brain. His excitable tone while he's like hehe I'm Tsukasa-!! He's excited to announce that he is Amane's younger twin, this is almost like, "his moment" — what a fun opportunity! To formally introduce yourself to someone new, someone important to Amane, and then just say your relationship to one another aloud?

You are THE ULTIMATE LITTLE BROTHER-!!!!

Look, I'm just going to have to express something complicated, so bare with me for a moment. I love how funny Tsukasa is being here, but like, we can't undo the fact that Bird, the collective entity, has a strong identity thing about being castrated, so the final snip fills me with some unspeakable emotion. I have no eyes and mouth about it. but like he's being funny and cute too. I really think he would do it, if asked. and Natsuhiko's follow up commentary really makes this whole exchange perfect. thank you after school boy hanako-kun

Scruffed, like a little misbehaving kitten. You can just scruff Tsukasa, he allows you to, and he can be reduced to this shy state like "uh oh..." *twiddles fingers*

I love when Tsukasa is just eyeballs no mouth. What a feeling. He's very innocent like this.... No expression, and yet it says everything. A very "reduced" boy... I think he gets like this whenever genuinely feeling embarrassed, scolded, corrected, like uoh oh no............. *gets quiet* .......

Just one of those incredibly, painfully potent, evocative crops. We all are haunted by this scene, and for good reasons, the drawings are crazy. I love love loooove that Tsukasa tends to stand on his tiptoes, once again just another like girlish attribute, to me, makes him feel like a little fairy, dancing around. My wife's natural posture is often on her tiptoes, so I am especially fond of it. I love the daintiness it grants, the silhouette it creates... It's a cute body language detail...

This drawing literally forces you to think about them kissing... I'm sorry... I know it's why people have a love/hate relationship with this scene. You're either relishing in the evocative framing, or haunted and tortured by it, or you're me, and you experience it all. It stings. I love how the lighting rests on them and cuts up Tsukasa's kimono and hakama... His lingering grasp on Amane's wrist... Doesn't it make you wish you could see their expressions...?

Artful... painfully artful... We all shake in fear and envy over Aida-sensei's prowess...

I save this for last, one of Tsukasa's most innocent, loving gestures, to me. The response to lick Amane's tears.. it's just so sweet... It's a bit alien and strange, but childish, you can see here that Tsukasa is just a kid doing his best to comfort his troubled brother.

I'm painfully sentimental about this, because it was something my wife often did, early in our relationship, when I would have breakdowns. It's soo specific, that I wasn't expecting to see it happen at all — I've never seen such a loving instance of this...? Just licking tears, because you're concerned for someone...? Ah... I know what it's like to be on the receiving end, the sensations are vivid in my mind... The soothing press of tongue over your hot, heated eyelids, stinging tears. Running over your face, cheek... it's nearly cool, by comparison, because your face is hot from crying, and seeing as Amane is feverish and ill, I bet this is the case...

It is so disarming, that all Amane can do is stare, interrupted from his fit — this is also what it did to me...! I'd steadily stop crying, instead engrossed with this sensation being felt. It interrupts the rhythm of your misery... I looove Amane's expression, as he looks at Tsukasa, just in... quiet, dumbfounded awe... The fact that Tsukasa is gentle, and tender, after Amane took out his building frustrations onto him... the fact that Tsukasa is about to promise him that he'll grant his "wish"...

After everything he did for Amane earlier, showering him with gifts, you understand, that Tsukasa just wants Amane to be happy... no matter what... This whole scene proves to me, how much Tsukasa is Amane's little angel... T~T❤️

#☀️#💭#💜

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theeeveetamer · 2 years

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Scarlet Blaze Live Blog Chapter 4

I will be including supports in these reactions so if you want to get those yourself I marked which support I'm talking about each time. Everything under the cut since I'm pretty sure it's like. Basically all spoilers at this point lmao.

Also when I pasted my google doc into the Tumblr post it gave me extra spaces between the bullet points and I kind of like how it looks. Hope it doesn't get messed up when I press post (if it does then I'll be editing this post real quick lmao)

Ok I actually didn’t get a lot of supports in the demo because I wasn’t really support grinding so this should be interesting.

Shez/Edelgard C - I appreciate that the game is finally like “uh, hey Edelgard, about all those people whose lives are being upended by this whole war thing…”.

Wish it didn’t wuss out so hard by having Shez be all “Oh haha but I’m sure you have a good excuse” about it

Shez/Hubert C - Why is the first reaction to Hubert saying “Me and Edelgard train together a lot” to be jealous of one of them? Why does the game just presume I would be big jelly about these two human beings existing together in the same place at the same time long enough to do an activity?

Also interesting that Hubert is visiting the training grounds to check on the equipment, considering the Shez/Dedue support features Shez taking some equipment from the training grounds to maintain it and Dedue helps them.

Lmao I picked that I’m jealous of Edelgard. Hubert does not compute and just assumes you’re jealous of him

Listen I’m a monster fucker and Hubert is like. The closest I’m gonna get in this route. Unless we get another beastdue transformation

Oh look someone actually acknowledges Dorothea is like highkey a celebrity in this universe. Weird that never comes up in the OG 3H, like, ever

Shez/Dorothea C - These supports have a lot more singing than I was expecting. First Annette now Dorothea

Manuela/Jeritza C - Oh this better be good. I’ve been curious about this. Though it kind of loses its bite in this game since Manuela didn’t, like, get stabbed by him in this timeline.

Omg Manuela stop trying to pick up the serial killer

Oh my god Manuela stop trying to fix him

LMAO “I’m a criminal” “Why did you tell me?” “Because you wouldn’t shut up.”

Oh my god she still wants to fuck him. We stan a messy queen but also damn girl you desperate.

Hubert/Ferdie B - Why is Hubert creepily watching Ferdie study in, like, his bedroom… in the middle of the night...

Ferdie: Were you doing something shady.

Hubert: How dare you.

Ferdie: You’re right sorry.

Hubert: lol I was tho

I WROTE THAT LAST BULLET POINT BEFORE HUBERT ACTUALLY SAYS HE WAS THO YOOOOO

Hubert why does your shady business take you into Ferdie’s quarters in the middle of the night.

Damn Ferdie over here like “haha hey remember how you killed your dad?” He looks so sad about it too

Ok but we never explained why Hubert was creeping into Ferdie’s room in the middle of the night

Oh my god I forgot to complete the side missions now I have to redo the stupid battle

“To kill is to grow stronger” ok calm the fuck down Hubert

Ok on to the main chapter battle

“The time has come to sack the seat of the Central Church”. Sack huh. Real good guy language right there.

“I imagine Rhea is apoplectic” GEE WONDER WHY

Bernadetta’s hair looks even dumber in these little cutscenes god

RIP SO DOES CASPAR’S

“You’re Caspar’s famous aunt who is actually younger than him” I’m sorry has Fleche done anything ever, or is Edelgard saying she’s famous for the sole fact that she’s an aunt who is younger than her nephew. I mean, I won’t say it’s super common, but it’s not like… uncommon… either…

Arval: Let’s talk about my feelings

Shez: Let’s not lol

Arval: :(

Or I’m sure he would frown if we didn’t just highkey fade to black and ignore him lmao

Now we have fucking cracked walls? Remember how I said this game has too many mechanics that come up, like, once? Yeah. Like. This is just like Arianhrod’s locked doors that only exist for one chapter. WHY.

Lmao Ferdie shouts his name for his special. Hubert just evil laughs. Delightful. Unfortunately I can't tell if this is unique Hubert/Ferdie special stuff or not

I put Edelgard in time out so I don’t actually have an armored unit to break these walls. Oops. Guess I'm going aaaaaaall the way around

Hi daddy Seteth

Yes please punish me daddy Seteth

Sorry Daddy Seteth :(

Oh I can still hit things after taking out Seteth who do we fight next

MOMMY RHEA!!!!

Oh my god one of Ferdie’s unique abilities is literally called “Name Drop” lmao

Also “Maximum ambulation”. Which is a smart people way to say “Maximum walking” which is hilarious

Also looks like the cav boys get different abilities related to their kill count? Cuz Sylvain does more damage based on his his count, and Ferdie gets more speed proportional to his hit count. Sylvain definitely got the better of the two. Wonder what Lorenz gets.

It’s cool how fire doesn’t hurt me as long as I’m the one who set it. Don't try this at home, kids

Goddamn Rhea just getting progressively more and more upset. My HEART I wanna lose this battle and then take her out ot tea

“This is what you get for trying to target Edelgard like a bunch of cowards!” Monica says after we just invaded a church and set the entire town on fire to target Rhea

OH NOPE WE CAME FROM THE ALLIANCE SO WE’RE JUST. KEEPING THAT WHOLE “THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO GARREG MACH FROM THE EMPIRE IS THROUGH THE ALLIANCE” THING, HUH.

JFC Rhea I can’t get any hornier for you, you can stop trying

“Garreg mach is so wonderful!” Ferdie we just killed people

Dorothea “I feel so guilty about this” Arnault. I mean you could just like. Not do it.

“Rhea and the others escaped with the help of a great white beast” I’m sorry what. She never turned into dragon. Did she just turn into dragon and fly them away?

I wanna ride on Rhea :(

NOT LIKE THAT

Ok maybe a little like that

“You say ‘fighting’ but I think you mean ‘instigating.’ Let’s be fully clear about our role in all of this.” THANK YOU Arval. This is why you’re the slightly less annoying head gremlin (for now)

I think I’m gonna make Shez like super bloodthirsty this time around

MOMMY JUDITH!!!!!!!

Claude: I sense tomfoolery in my court

I appreciate them not wussing out on giving Holst pink hair, but I really need to have a conversation with whoever at IS thought Rick Sanchez was the sexiest man alive

DEDUE!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!!

DIMITRI!!!!!! M Y B E L O V E D!!!!!!

Dimitri: Hey uh maybe let me reform my own country I think I kinda know how to do it better than you

Edelgard: no

Dimitri: Ok well I’m gonna fight u

Edelgard: *surprise pikachu*

“What use is a plan if a man won’t follow it” -This Edelgard, who literally threw out all of her and Hubert’s plans out to get to this point

Ok I’m gonna talk about this real quick. Hubert says that Gaspard is usually foggy this time of year. However in the AG route they explicitly say that Gaspard is not usually foggy this time of year (and in the battle the fog was being summoned by mages). So like. Which one is it. It really is the little details where 3H always made me go "Uh, wait what"

Like the stupid thing with the Empire being unable to access Garreg Mach without traveling through the Alliance! I mean sure there are other bridges aside from Myrrdin, which would explain how some people are able to get there, but in CF the Empire is using it like. As their base of operations. Like their military base of operations. How in the fuck did they manage to hold it for five years if there's no easy way to get troops to and from? Because in CF the Alliance lords are explicitly not allied with her, and the Western Kingdom lords are also explicitly not allied with her

AND THEN IN THIS GAME SPOILERS FOR AG BUT AT THE END OF AG you have to take back the monastery from the Empire which they've somehow managed to hold up until now despite Dimitri and Claude working together and Dimitri having gotten the Western lords under control and the Alliance lords being firmly on Claude's side. HOW IS SHE GETTING TROOPS THERE?! This better get a geographical explanation by the end of this route or I am going to lose my continuity obsessed shit.

#SB Liveblogging #Scarlet Blaze Spoilers #few3h #the last bullet point has AG spoilers #so like just don't read that one if you don't want AG spoilers either

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fearofahumanplanet · 2 years

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spring, psyonics, rock?

Hey Ren how are you, how's your WIPs going??

Have you ever scrapped (a huge chunk of) a story to start over? Why did the change come about?

Haha yes, Serpents I actually already wrote a whole first draft of already, this one is technically the second but it's essentially a first bc I deleted literally everything from the first except most of the characters and a few scenes I thought I stood out. Essentially I didn't like the first draft of Serpents in the slightest, I thought it got too Hollywood and young adult and in a sense it was too blatantly an attempt at "broad appeal" that just completely erased my personal style so I wanted to redo it from the start, especially since this story is so important to me - I'm really loving the new draft so far and it's more what I envisioned from the start, even if I had to basically burn it all down and build it up again

How do you get into the heads of your characters?

The biggest thing is music, the second biggest thing is my having BPD actually benefiting me for once in that I have hyper-empathy. It is REALLY easy for me to get in someone else's shoes so to speak, in general, and that helps me a lot with writing, that and an unhealthy amount of psychology research has done a lot for helping me make characters with distinct voices and desires. I also make them little playlists and listen to their music when I'm writing their scenes and it puts me in the right headspace, I just "escape myself" for a bit

How do you deal with writer’s block?

I'll be honest, I rarely have writer's block and haven't in over a year - I usually have the opposite problem of having to force myself to take breaks in order to not burn myself out, bc I'm overflowing with ideas and WIPs constantly and I need to get it all out and I can never catch up with The Flood. So I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask there, but in the few times I've had writer's block I think I've legit just stopped writing for a few days and watched/read some old favorite stories to get myself back in the headspace

Thanks for the ask!

#asks #besties tag

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thoughtsofadyingsoftwaredev · 7 months

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Hello, Tumblr world! For some reason I am drawn to you in the Fall season. My last post was just over a year ago… sorry about that. Not that you, my lovely reader, care - and that is IF anyone reads this! I won't lie I don't care if people read these or not, this is essentially an online journal for me at this point, ha.

So, what's new with me lately, you might ask? Well, I'll break it down:

Still happy with our house. We've made gradual updates to it since moving in, including redoing some old flooring with some new vinyl faux-wood looking stuff. Super nice. Also replaced an old toilet in the process. Next we're eyeballing a bathtub upgrade for one of the bathrooms and big landscaping changes to our back yard.

Got promoted at work to Senior Software Engineer after 3 years. Not bad turnaround time for that title change, in my opinion. My responsibilities shifted from managing the IAM software to managing our search experience for the many different applications we provide.

This primarily means I'm responsible for drafting search document schemas, working with these other teams to get answers on questions they refuse to provide answers to without me having to ask first, and handling the logic for ingesting hundreds of thousands of items of varying types to different search engines. In my 3.5 years of working here, I have enjoyed the challenges of the job. Of course, it's not without it's awful days or days where my head is screeching, but the good days outweigh the bad for me.

Wife and I are still on speaking terms. That's my way of saying we're both as good and happy with each other as ever lol she's my best friend. We both got super interested in NFL this season and watch every Monday and Thursday game and watch Minnesota (wife's favorite team) on Sundays. RIP Vikings post-Cousins injury.

That's about all I can think of life-wise. My 31st birthday was a few weeks ago, and I feel old as shit sometimes LOL I look in the mirror and I see what seems like new wrinkles in new places, my hair is graying in small parts, and I find it hard to stay up late. It's 1:04AM right now and I find this to be the upper range of my limits lol

I had a dream recently that my wife and I died in a freak accident at some theme park (not a specific one, just some weird abstract dreamy one) - from what I can remember we were on what we thought was part of a ride, but what ended up happening is we both fell to our deaths.

After we died, we both were floating over family and friends as spirits, watching our bodies get carried in open caskets. For some reason, I had two huge pieces of hair that went down both sides of my face (this is nowhere near what my hair looks like so no idea why this was).

At first, when I woke up, I kinda had to laugh at it. The overall sequence of events was a bit silly. But I found myself thinking more and more about it throughout today. Who will care if I die? Not in a "bad thoughts" kinda way, but genuinely - what kind of footprint am I leaving in this world? Will people know or care that I die? Probably not, and I think ultimately I'm fine with that, but the dream gave me pause and kinda fucked with me today haha.

Can I tell you a secret Tumblr? I have a burner Facebook account that I use to see how my old friends are doing. I am very anti-social media, and as part of that, have no real ways of keeping up with people from previous parts of my life aside from those who have my cell or email, so this gives me an outlet to see how friends I've made over the years are doing now.

Some of them never left my hometown, which kinda bums me out, because when I think of my time there, I couldn't imagine having stayed. But I have to consider that they may really love the place and have strong ties to it. I don't want to sound mean when I say that, but it's just a very small, quiet town that seems like a place you'd stay if you decided not to attend university or a trade school. And that's perfectly okay, too.

Some are thriving, too! A very good friend of mine recently got married, and I'm thrilled for him. I remember late nights at college talking with him outside of his dorm in the night air, rocking back and forth in a rocking chair, like the ones you see at Cracker Barrel. We'd talk philosophy, religion, girls, music, and much more. He's an awesome, genuinely kind hearted person and I'm glad to see he's doing well. He's not the only one, there are others who are all out there doing their thing, so to speak. I can't say why, but seeing these people I've known at some points in their lives doing well makes me incredibly happy.

Music is always a wonderful memory and hobby for me. Music is what brought most of my friends I've made and I together. I recently started playing guitar again (thank you Rocksmith 2014) and it has been a blast! I recently acquired a dream guitar of mine for awhile now: a Surf Green Fender MIM Strat. I fucking love it.

Piano is still on hiatus and has been for many, many years. I think it might intimidate me a bit. I eventually will have to bite the bullet and revisit it. I plan on using ABRSM resources to find some appropriate pieces for where I'm currently at. I'm hoping I can ramp back up to SOMEWHERE close to where I was when I went to school for music. I realize it may take years, but I think if I devote myself to it, I can achieve it. Honestly the hardest thing will be getting that dexterity back and remembering scales/fingerings/etc. Hopefully by the time I post next, I can report back with some success on that front!

Hobby coding-wise, I'm starting a new project using a new stack (for me): Java (Spring), Vue, and Postgres. My goal is to create a web application for Veterinarians offices for administrative use. This app will handle invoicing, communications with patients, store pet/owner data, store data regarding prescriptions, surgeries, etc., and probably more I'm forgetting. It's a lot of moving pieces, but it presents a fun challenge on both front-end and back-end, and frankly I've seen the most popular competition (Avimark) and it looks like dogshit. So my plan is to work on this for the foreseeable future, get an MVP up, snoop around my local area and see if anyone is interested in testing it out. This will be a long-term project, though. I have some ramping up to do with Vue as I have not used it since it was still in v1.0, so many things have changed!

Started watching Frieren and that shit kicks ass! The music, the animation, the art style. Only 4 episodes in, but it is easily top 5 anime.

JJK Season 2 has been fucking insane. It started off so crazy, I ended up binge reading the manga up until the end of the Shibuya Incident and holy shit. Seeing the Yuuji vs Choso fight animated was a fucking masterpiece!

Games-wise, I've been deep into WoW classic and FFXIV. FFXIV has always been my go-to, but lately I've been doing WoW and I love the customization that is possible within a class (priests, wars, etc builds can vary wildly and that's awesome!).

And I think that's all I've got! I've been drafting this post for the past 20 minutes-ish. I have to start winding down for today. This may be my longest post so far? Not sure, I'll compare it to my others word count-wise after this and confirm!

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sam-dugesian · 8 months

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Sam ruins everything: ADC

[intro up to "don't know why"]

???: "Wee! Hi everyone. I'm Sam and I'm new here." "I wonder what kind of adventures I'll get up to in this strange new world I've found myself in." "Let's find out together, shall we. [winks to the camera]" "First thing that's in order I think my new worldmates better get to know me better." "Hi everyone! I already memorised who you all are" "I'm here to steal the show." "Well, at least that's one way to put it [laughs at himself]." "Seems I've taken the form of Jester, a 'Joker', a fooool, if you will." "I wonder what that means." "So, Caine, what's on the agenda for today." "Today being my 'first day' in this quite fabulous existence."

Jax: "Caine, is this one of your NPC's or is this a new sucker?" "Wait." "-'cause if it's a new character, we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song." "Wait, why am I asking-?"

Zooble: "I'm not gonna be doing this for long." "Wait, what did I say-?" "-and why couldn't I talk when Sam was talking back there."

Caine: "My my [error], It appears a new has entered this!"

Sam: "One of those things won't be here much longer."

Jax: "Just keep grabbing at it, that's not the way things are done here." "Huh? That's not how I talk."

Sam: "Go on, say the line. Chop chop."

Ragatha: "Let's just try to calm down." "Everything's gonna be okay, ancient one." "Ancient one? What the heck?" "We've all been through this." "We used exclusively." "Why would I need to-?" "You just need to get your head to-"

Sam: "'suup?"

Caine: "No, no, no, Saamamaa..." "We can't have any of that thaaat that-that thattat that." "The Amazing Digital Circus is a to be." "..." "You, my, into an world of, where it can exist!" "Accept curses."

Sam: "[says nothing and looks around with a cheeky little grin on their face]"

Caine: "Uh."

Ragatha: "W-well, don't freak out about it or anything." "-but, uh, we exactly."

Jax: "You ..."

Sam: "Oh, I beg to differ."

Zooble: "Shut up, Jax."

Jax: "Okay, why is that the only thing we've said, that actually plays out how we imagined it in our heads?"

Sam: "Haha, I like you Jax. You're fun to play with."

Ragatha: "Yeah it's weird isn't it?" "Ever since Sam showed up things a little different." "Wait, what am I saying?" "Sam's only just got here." "That makes no sense." "Caine, is this one of you tricks?" "... again?"

Jax: "We've been stuck here for years." "Old Kinger over there's supposedly been here the longest."

Kinger: "Am I seeing double again?"

Caine: "I'd like to give our brand new member a tour of the circus grounds first."

Sam: "Hey great idea." "I can show you the parts you don't know about yet."

Caine: "O-"

Sam: "That's the tent. The main thing." "The grounds. Oops lake and the zoom zoom place."

Caine: "The choice is yours. A cosmic buffet."

Sam: "Then there's the backdoor algorithm."

Caine: "Wait, you mean-"

Moon: "Hello Sam, I love you."

Caine: "Oh c'mon. Now you're just trying to annoy me."

Sam: "-and it's working."

Bubble: "I'm on it, boss."

Sam: "Bubble's my favorite one of you non-Caines." "-eeeven if she is just an extension of the creator's whims." "-a 'thought bubble', but uh not in the comic book sense."

Zooble: "Yeah, what are you talking about?" "Wait, where's Jax?"

Caine: "i am speaking pointless exposition." "Well, that's weird." "And why did Sam explain the world back there and not you know me?" "-since Sam is the ringleader and he's the one in charge here." "Wait, that's backwards, that's not what i meant."

Sam: "How about we talk about something else?"

Caine: "Well newbie, let's pick you out a new name."

Tambura: "Sam"

Caine: "Well that's odd." "Normally people who are new here don't have a name." "This thing is supposed to."

Tambura: "It's Sam and that's my final offer."

Caine: "Weird, it grew considerably longer just to fit all that in."

Zooble: "Speak for yourself."

Gangle: "What about Zooble." "Is this a new mask?"

Sam: "Let's check out my room." "Kaufmo's room." "Ex-Kaufmo's-room." "Don't worry, I stole the key from Caine's 'pocket'." "Hey, I wonder if I can put a turtle tank in this place." "Nice sky holes by the way, Caine." "After that I can go get my friend from Raggy's room."

Kaufmo: "I-"

Sam: "Hi, can you tell me about the exit, newbie?"

Kaufmo: "The exit? Well, why didn't you say so-?"

Sam: "-aaaand now he's free as well." "Hi, Gangle!"

Gangle: "Wh-? How did I get here?"

Sam: "Don't worry about Kaufmo." "I'm looking after him now." "I'm a doctor." "I know what's best." "He'll be how he should be soon enough." "-but what about you, Gangle?" "You feeling okay?"

Gangle: "Y-yeah, somehow." "I don't feel sorrowful or cheerful." "I don't even feel nothing at all." "I just feel uh-"

Sam: "Calm, contented, stable, ready to take on the world."

Gangle: "Yeah! Yeah! That's exactly how I feel!" "-b-but why?" "Nothing's happened to make me feel like that."

Sam: "I'm making a few changes around here." "You seem to be kind of in-tune with the world here." "In other words, I'm having a positive impact." "-oh and Gangle..?"

Gangle: "Yeah? [smiles]"

Sam: "Take that new face with you as you go." "It's no cliche."

Gangle: "Go w-"

Sam: "To Caine!" "(oh look that's my door)" "three empty doors." "skip that one too." "Fish room, my favorite." "Wait, I should stop talking." "My audience is gone." "Zoop!" "I just like still saying that."

???: "Wha-"

Sam: "Hi, your majesty." "Haha, you look like me." "Bye, your majesty."

???: "Wha-"

Sam: "A mirror." "I love mirrors." "Dammit!" "I hate the missions where I have to make people leave." "There's no-one to talk to." "No-one except my reflection that is." "-but that's kinda lame." "Oh me I'm actually doing it." "-so this is what it's like to have no friends." "I need to find Caine and get outta here." "Nice meeting ya pal. [handshakes reflection]" "Humans! Help me I'm lonely!" "Oh no! They're non-verbal!" "Enjoying the show audience?" "You see, this is me trying to act like a character in a show."

Jon: "I'm putting you in a silent movie next time."

Sam: "[hand gestures running off a cliff and points at camera]" "[runs like the hand gesture off camera]" "[turns around in chair] Hey, Bubble and..."

Caine: "It's Caine, try to remember it."

Sam: "I won't." "-so Bubble, I've got pizza at home." "Wanna come with?"

Bubble: "Why gee I-"

Sam: "Bubble, you can answer honestly around me."

Caine: "She-"

Sam: "Was that thing annoying you?" "Don't worry, they won't be a problem again." "-not to anyone."

Bubble: "Uh. Will they be-"

Sam: "Bubble listen." "You're the hardest one to fix here." "I mean I've taken care of everyone already." "I even dealt with the other restaurant attendants, while you weren't looking." "There's literally no-on else here." "-not even the weird stiff non-verbal humans, that were in a barrel for some reason."

Bubble: "The monkeys? [gasp] I spoke out of line! [presses lips shut]."

Sam: "That's it, games over, I'm bored now." "You're coming with me Bubble."

Bubble: "Don't pop me!"

Sam: "I won't do that. Zoop!"

Sam: "Well, I guess that's a job well-done."

Sam: "Other me, couldn't you have just waited in the mirror?"

Sam: "There was no-one to talk to."

Sam: "Fair I guess, but even though we're technically two different people, like actually in real life and all, don't you think it looks a bit lame for us to be talking to ourselves, at least as it would appear to our viewers."

Sam: "We should get outta here."

Sam: "Yeah we should."

Sam & Sam: "Bye guys! [waves at camera and then disappears]"

Jon: "Editor's note: this isn't meant to be good writing. I just did this for fun."

Sam: "-and I was also there."

Jon: "Ah!"

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #sam wamm

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lumofoxx · 8 months

Text

Reality is crushing in the middle of the night when I'm the only one awake. Have I outgrown myself? Life is hard and isolation is rough, but didn't I choose this? Every moment is a choice. The Universe pushes me in directions I don't necessarily want to go.

Oh, this is what we're doing now? I honestly just want to have fun and hang out with my friends, but most of my friends have left me, one way or another. Always behind, stumbling. Don't walk so fast. Did you hear me? I said don't.

I dont feel like I’ve had fun in ages. Not allowed. Life is rough. Sick sick sick. Too sick to enjoy things, always a burden dragging everyone down. I've burned out again. I live for other people but they don't care. I'm never enough. Do they even like me? I'm done.

I'm always fixing it, supressing. For what? They think I'm just like this. They don't know me, or maybe they know me well enough. I live for other people. I want them to be happy, happy, happy. I beat myself up when I let too much of me through. Because how could they be happy with me? Inconsequential.

I'm a black hole. I'll eat everything. Ill eat the sun. I dont get the joke. What's the point? I'm focusing on me now. This is me, this unpleasantness. Was i always like this? Do you feel bad yet? Do you feel guilty? I do. I can't remember about what but it's there at the back of my mind all the time. Are you having fun?

No. Me neither.

Focusing on me now. What do I want? I want what I had, but different. Different people, different choices. I don't want to lose what I have now. I like this outcome. My life is one bad situation after another. I'm tired of the hospital, actually. Let's keep it together. We've only got another month.

All finished. Just starting. Do you ever thinking about what could have happened if we were different people? I think about it all the time. I just want to have fun. I want to redo some choices.

Hey, are you free tomorrow? Talk to me. It's getting bad again and I can't break right now. I want to go for a walk at night and lie down in the street. Haha, do you rememberwhen we'd do that together? There's so many stars. Do you think they know me? Better than you do? Maybe. You might be onto something there. I know me best.

I stopped going to therapy again. No. I'm not feeling anything differently than usual. I don't think I'm a very optimistic person. You hate that. I've been fighting the depression for years. It's exhausting. Things work out, don't worry.

Hey, are you listening to me? We should get coffee more often. I haven't seen you in ages.

#existential #mental health crisis #self reflection #healing trauma #letters to the void #sincerely foxx

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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domestic shiratorizawa

⊹summary; the life inside the dorms of shiratorizawa

⊹pilots; gn![y/n], ushijima, tendou, semi, yamagata, reon, kawanishi, shirabu, goshiki (pairings showed; yamagata x reader, goshiki x reader)

⊹genre; fluff, crack and some cursings (no proofread)

⊹flight details; i've once made a domestic imagines in my old blog so imma make a small reboot of it <3

random shopping

normal day, normal life. you could've seen yourself laying or even napping in your room while a compilation of minecraft songs plays in the background. but no. instead, you're inside an antique shop with Yamagata, Ushijima and Tendou.

you have no idea when, or how did the process happened but you surely is done with getting dragged inside the shop by Tendou and Yamagata.

while Ushijima's stuck on a section, you don't know where, but he's definitely stuck there, "[y/n]! look at what i found,"

Yamagata called you as you turned around to see him holding up a pretty heavy doll. you raise your brow, "what the hell is that?" walking towards him and taking a closer look at the object in hand,

"i think it's a, um, i think a matryoska doll? matroyska? is that how you say it?" "why're you asking me, i don't know jack shit about russian stuff,"

"ah you mean, matryoshka doll?" Tendou butted in, startling you two, "it's also called a 'nesting doll' and did you actually know that it was actually originated from china?"

Yamagata's eyes practically sparkled at that with a surprised look, "from china? really?"

you can only roll your eyes, "and how can you even know all that?" Tendou snickered and put on a smug face, "i'm actually very smart, y'know. ya'll just don't know about it," "says the person in class 2,"

"i blame the mathematic old hags for adding letters in math, and the apple that fucking hit my man Isaac," you tsk'ed and walk towards the next section. Yamagata passive aggressively put the matryoshka doll down and follow after you along with Tendou,

"also, we need to find ushijima, i think he's stuck in some section between here...ah there," you stopped walking and turn to your right where you find Ushijima reading a book.

Tendou skipped towards him and smack his shoulder, "you okay, wakatoshi-kun? you sure did took longer to look at the stuff here," while Tendou chats with Ushijima, Yamagata look up at the shelves as something caught his eyes.

he tried to reach it while tip toing but due to his height, he can't reach it. then, he jumped from his spot to grab the object but end up hitting his head onto the board, "AGH, FUCK!" which causes you all to look at him, watching him hold his head while shivering from the pain,

"are you okay, yamagata?" ushijima ask, putting back the book on the shelves, "yeah, yeah, i'm just tryna get that," he shakes his head before pointing up.

you followed his finger and caught a glimpse of an old polaroid. it's a little bit dusty but other than that, it looks new. Ushijima reached it from his spot and managed to grab it, "here,"

he hands it to Yamagata as he instantly recovered from his recent pain and snatch it from Ushijima's hand, subtly thanking him with a grin, "why do you even need a polaroid?" Tendou asked, leaning his arm over Ushijima's shoulder with one brow up,

"pfft, for journaling of course,"

a gust of wind went through you while staring at him with a poker face, the same with Tendou with a small cat like smile. Ushijima just looked the same,

"okay," "WHAT'S WITH THE TONE??" you blinked and just knit your eyebrows, "i mean, since when you started journaling? you're not even the type of person to do something aesthetic,"

he pouted and just crosses his arms, "so what? that doesn't mean i can't do it, right? have faith in me god darn it. and honestly, my journal looks good so far," "well, fine,"

you waved your hand at him and continue going through the other section. and just like that, "hey wait!" Yamagata tailed after you.

Tendou snickered at the two and focus back on Ushijima, who's still watching the display yet again, "have you thought of what to buy wakatoshi-kun?" "i'm not sure, there's a lot of interesting stuff here," "well, you've only been in this section but okay~"

studying

"agh, why did those idiots really have to call me at this time...?"

you groaned, slowly walking through the halls with a slouched figure. tracing your fingers along the wall with a dejected look. you're suppose to sleep today.

an hour or two long sleep. it's finally the weekend which means the time for you to sleep all of your problems away. drifting into slumber with fluffy pillows and warm blankets, enjoying your dream as long as you can.

until your ringtone annoyingly rings next to your ear. you answer the call, and again greeted by the most annoying human in the planet,

"[y/n], we need you at the gym right now!"

"huh? oh fuck off Tendou, i need to sleep right now,"

"nuh uh, you can sleep later after you go to the gym,"

"why? are you, i don't know, practicing or something?"

"you have to find out. if you don't move your ass from that bed, we'll send Hayato to wake you up~"

". . ."

and now, you find yourself standing in front of the door of shiratorizawa's volleyball gym. not only that Tendou wakes you up from your sleep, you also had to WALK all the way from your dorm to the gym,

"i'm gonna add more time to their practices after this..."

sliding the door open, you expect them to be doing serves or maybe spikes.

but instead, you're seeing them—as in the 3rd years—all sitting down at the middle of the court, with books around them.

and what's even more confusing is that they somehow managed to bring a table inside. no, not the flip-able table.

literally a whole ass table.

Reon looks up from his book and notices your figure standing on the door way. he waves his hand at you, you did the same but still with a confused look.

Yamagata was next to see you as he abruptly stand up from his spot, shaking the table in the process,

"Hayato! stop shaking the table," "oops, sorry. ah, wait, [y/n]!"

that caught all of the boys attention as they look at you, "what taking you so long to arrive?" Tendou asked, a pen rested in between his upper lip and nose.

Semi smacked him in the face—earning an 'ow'—before shaking his head,

"their dorm is literally far from the gym, and why do you even proposed your idea of studying at the gym anyway?"

you make your way towards them, Reon patting the empty spot next to him. you sat down on your spot as Yamagata did the same. seemed like he was waiting for you.

Tendou rubbed his nose and pouted at Semi, "this was the best place to study anyway! it have much more room,"

"we should've gone to the cafeteria OR the LIBRARY," Semi groaned, looking back at his book before writing on it,

"pfft, the cafeteria's no fun. and i got banned from the library," Reon looks at Tendou with confusion, "well, it's not surprising,"

Tendou shrugged, "i was also banned from the library," Ushijima said, not looking up from his notes as you knit your eyebrows at that,

"you're also banned from the library? Satori, what did you and Ushijima did—" "anyways, um,"

he cut you off, fidgeting with his pen before pointing it at you, "right, you need to tutor us on this subject~!"

you blinked, looking down at the book they're studying about, "haven't the teacher covered this already?"

"well, i'm sorry, class 6. but we have no idea how this thing works. maybe only Reon, but look at Semi,"

Tendou wrapped his arm around Semi's neck, practically head locking him, "he's from class 1 and i think you should teach him about this the most," "I'll rip your fucking head off, Tendou!"

while both of them tried to strangle each other, Yamagata caught your attention next,

"and also, it won't be fun without you, y'know," Reon nodded, "and don't forget that you can't leave me alone in this,"

"oh right," "hm? what was that?" Yamagata asked. you just shake your head with a defeated smile, "nothing..."

after clearing your throat, you snatched Semi's book away before flipping through the pages,

"okay you scumbags, it's time to learn,"

oblivious enough

the birds chirped from the tree, the hallway's as loud as ever. Semi and Tendou's leaning against the window, each of them drinking apple juice and eating yakisoba bread.

it was silence between them before Semi spoke, "hey, Tendou," "yes Semi-Semi?" "y'know,"

Semi turned his head to look at Tendou as the redhead did the same, "have you, noticed the relationship between [y/n] and Yamagata lately?"

the latter made a thinking face, before nodding, "hm, seems so,"

"do you think, either one of them ever noticed about it?" Tendou shakes his head at the question, "nope, i don't think they do. in fact, they might be completely oblivious to it,"

Semi snickered, "right, like that one time..."

"[y/n], do you think my lips are dry right now?"

you look up from your clipboard, seeing Yamagata pointing his lips, "hm, nah. they're fine, but if you want, i can but on some lip balm,"

his eyes sparkled at that as he nodded his head with excitement, "sure!" you walk towards your bag with Yamagata following you. opening the zipper and search inside it, you pull out your lip balm,

"here, hold still," you put a hand on his cheek while the other applies lip balm onto his lips. it was a slow process but he managed to not move at all while making eye contact with you.

once you finished applying, he pop his lips before humming, "mn, cherry," "let me know if you need anything else,"

he nodded with now flushed cheeks as he smile at you. you did the same, gently patting his arm.

from a distance, Shirabu looks at them with a disgusted look, "ugh, can't they be more subtle about it,"

Kawanishi shrugged, "just let them be,"

"how can i redo my memory? i don't need to see that this early," "well, what if it was us?" "i would be twice as grossed, i can put my own lip balm," "hm yeah, you're right, i honestly would be like that too," "good,"

"haha yeah, now that i think about it, they do it all the time right?" Tendou nodded at Semi's statement before hearing the all too familiar voice just a few meters away from them,

"[y/n]!"

you turned your head around while still sipping your drink. Yamagata stood in front of you, holding out his visibly crumpled necktie with a small smile,

"my necktie!" "ah again? whatever," you give your drink to him as he hold it for you.

grabbing the necktie from his hand, looping it around his collar shirt and started tying it with a concentrated look,

"i can't say that it'll be clean when i finished tying it," "it's okay! that's why i'm asking you to do it, messy or not, at least i have it on," "hm, yeah,"

after you finished tying it and patting it a little, Yamagata hugged you, "thank you!" "yeah, you're welcome,"

the aura literally radiates on the slightly crowded hallway as some of the students who passed you talked among themselves.

Semi and Tendou stared at you two, expressionless eyes but with a small smile,

'ah, right,'

Tendou sighed, intertwining his fingers together and lifting it up to his cheeks, "ah, young love~"

"we're all the same age,"

"young love~"

bonus; reliable kouhai

lifeless.

is what goshiki would say when he took a few glances at you from his book. you promised to tutor him about this subject he's struggling on. but didn't really expect to see your slouched form walking inside the library.

he's not even sure if you even hear anything you're saying right now, "get a shovel and two-" your head hit the table, creating a loud sound and catching the attention of almost everyone inside the library,

"[y/n]-senpai, um, are you okay??" you groaned and rapidly blink your eyes, covering your forehead, "yeah, 'm just..."

a yawn escaped from your mouth before you can even finish your sentence, "...tired. those stupid senpais of yours need help tutoring too even tho being grown ass men,"

goshiki closes his book and creating a small 'thump', snapping you out from your mind,

"well, if that so then you didn't have to come, you could've just tell me and i would be fine with it!" your hoarse laugh caught him off guard as a shade of red ran across his cheeks, "i can't break a promise, tsutomu. why do you even think i agree on tutoring you?"

"uh, cause you want to help me with my studies?" "one of it, and cause i enjoy tutoring you," he can feel his cheeks heating up more when you made eye contact with him, a small smile laced upon your face,

"and honestly, you're smarter than i thought. class 4 right? that's cool," he looked away, trying to calm his nerves down, "t-thanks! a lot of people thought i was in a lower class, so i, i appreciate it,"

goshiki took a peek at you, now burying your face onto your face, "also, senpai," "hm?"

"you should take a nap for now, i think i can start understanding this formula," you slightly look up at him, "you sure? i was prolly talking craps just now," "yeah! your health is more important anyway,"

you hum, offering him a warm smile, "thanks, i know i can count on you," you rested onto your side and close your eyes. lips slightly parted and just like that, you're deep in your dreams.

he pursed his lips, slowly leaning against the table to look at your face. it's calm, peaceful and beautiful, kissable lips. he wonder if he could lean in a little closer until you two-

goshiki instantly jolted up and hit himself on the head, face's covered in the color red, 'no! don't think about that, curse you Tendou-San for introducing me to those mangas...'

Tendou's faces ran across his mind as he grunted,

'why're they so pretty??'

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not-close-to-straight · 2 years

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I really like t he imagery of the orphanage in darkness as the teen alpha watches peter. It's insanely creepy and elicits such a mental image

And then peter breaking that tenseness with the knife as the alpha moves?! Chefs kiss

I dooooo love the arm around Peter palm over his heart thing that's heart melting

The picture you painted of Defiance is 😍 I mean it's awful don't get me wrong but I love a good description

The only thing I've ever really wanted was you my mate

OK OKOKOKOK take my heart

I don’t care about that. I don’t need silver and I don’t need gold, I just need to know that when I wake up tomorrow, you’ll be here.

NEVER MIND THIS IS MY FAVE OMGGGGG

Ya know I really do love characters that have flaws and that's just that. Like Francis is who he is and he won't wait until a possible better time to ambush. (Even if he changed his tune not long after it wasn't by anyones convincing that's for sure) And that's his flaw and honestly ya gotta give people props who have such strong convictions. At least i find it fascinating as someone who likes to see both sides of things and will 100% be the mediator for anything

Peter demanding wade only ever see him when he's in town 😍

Ok but yeehaw and all that totally made me laugh and I cannot take peter seriously now

Look I know you don't write unhappy endings unless you super warn us but I felt that back and forth between them before wade walked out into the street was super heart wrenching even if all it was was nothing special and I loved it for that

Honestly? Francis' end? Perfection

We never truly get to much violence in a/b/o like use those fangs more for violence!

Haha the body counting never fails to reminds me of lotr and honestly the best game to play is to count bodies I agree

Honestly the best holding place IS a bar all that ammunition

Part of me is like why'd I update myself with this chapter I know you and cliffhangers but I also adulted hardcore today and I deserved this

Pain and ALL

OKAY IT WAS SO CREEPY RIGHT. I almost left it out because I'm aware opening to that sort of looming/present danger/undertones of attempted SA can be extremely triggering to lots of people, but I left it in cos the POWER of that scene. The way we see Peter terrified but protecting himself, how he's always been someone to do whatever it took to escape a situation...

And then especially when that scene was contrasted with the following scene of Peter immediately waking from the nightmare with Wade there holding him, and then even in the next chapter when they do the flashback to the first morning after. All the times Peter has woken sort of suddenly out of sleep and so many times its been to another shitty day or because something awful was about to happen but every time he wakes up next to Wade? Peace and perfection, even with murder on their mind. I just think that dichotomy of the opening scene vs the other scenes is so intense.

I had so much fun with the description of Defiance. I really wanted to lean into that movie-esque mental picture of the dusty, empty town and the sun beating down at high noon, tension in the air cos something just doesn't feel right vibe and I think it turned out great.

Francis-- I felt like we'd seen in his handling of Peter with the stalking and kidnapping and coordinating of the ambush for Wade and then his network of people who can get him information, he might be unhinged but he's SMART. Yes Wade is pushing him to his limit and yes he's fed up with the commander but beneath all that, he knows a good plan when he hears one even if he's unwilling to admit it at first.

Also I'll be honest, I had him change his mind cos once I started reviewing what I'd written and how I described Defiance, there wasn't anywhere for him to attack the bank that wouldn't leave him wholly exposed. My original rough draft of this chapter had the bank in the center of town but I moved it to the crossroads for dramatic purposes and then had to completely redo my shoot out scene lmaooo.

One of the best things about spideypool is the way they always revert back to their truest selves in terrifying moments. We see it in canon with Wade constantly jabbering stupid shit and friendly Neighborhood Spidey is always a Friendly Neighborhood Sass Master so that's something I try to incorporate in the stories too. In pretty much all my long fics, we see them sassing and teasing in their worst moments. In ORW it was after Peter managed to bring Wade back from the edge of feral, in MTW it was while Wade was dying, while Peter was dying, while they were trying to figure out the new century, even while trying to figure out Vanessa. I just think it's a nice way to remind us that like, they are still THEM even right before everything changes.

I've never seen or read the LOTR series so I don't understand that particular reference to body counting, but Wade does it in DP1 too and since I was watching the movie while writing the chapter (for violent inspiration lol!) I went "oh they should at least mention bodies"

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xiaojuun · 2 years

Text

✧༺♥༻∞ every month of 2021 ∞༺♥༻✧

post your favorite or and most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months!)

thank you for tagging me @ohoshi @soonwnu @dongkwan @hyeongjunz @takatamashi & @intronnevermind !! i made my first gifset like ... 3 days before january of 2021, and i have improved a ton & adopted so many groups since then. this was really cool to look back on & see my progress, plus it felt kind of like a journal of where i was at each month this year creatively at different times in life & learning <3

january

popular: this yoongi daechwita x shadow set, first of all can we believe i used to gif bts like semi-frequently jgdsh this was also my first accidental dip into color manipulation, which then became part of my signature gif style. i still get this set in my notifs and will always think fondly of it ~

favorite: my magic island set - forever one of my favorites, even though i know i could do it so much better now ... i have never felt compelled to redo it. i like it as it is, even unpolished.

february

popular: my infamous namjoon x blue color palette set, still i think my most popular set ever. funny story is i switched 2 of the gifs like ... after it had already gone around a bit, so there are actually 2 versions of this floating around this hell place

favorite: THEEE very first I LOVE YOU set my beloved ... this set will always be so special to me as my first treasure set. it was the first time i'd ever seen an mv and just been so obsessed that i needed to do something this crazy haha. the rest is history! runner up fave is of course yeonjun x purple and yellow, some of my finest color manip work

march

popular: yoongi x fire palette, are u sensing the theme here lol

favorite: omg my jihoon alphabet set for his birthday! i worked on this for days... it was at this moment she knew ... it was very clear that this kid had quickly become ult status haha

april

popular: yeonjun in blue hour ! i remember this was when i entered my big gif era JDSGHJB

favorite: my first (??) svt set for don't wanna cry, which was really the first 'title track i showed up late to' moment where i became obsessed VERY late haha. i remember making this set like weirdly late at night but i really love it still. i'd also be remiss not to mention ... junkyu in i love you (big rainbow gif edition) .

may

popular: this chaos chapter freeze trailer set ... i remember being in shock at how fast this circulated because i was quick on giffing it. this is my first and i think only txt set to break 1k notes.

favorite: my treasure pantone set which is the first gfx i made entirely from scratch! and ... this cix jungle studio choom set, some of the sexiest gifs i've ever made.

june

popular: txt magic studio choom and the bottom gif still bothers me i wish i framed it better JKBDHJBF

favorite: favorite title tracks from the first half of the year - another gfx i made all by myself and am extremely proud of, i love how it turned out. actually the *real* most popular set from this month is the template i then posted for it, and that makes me really happy to know people liked it so much.

july

popular: taegyu laughing which like ... so true so valid ...

favorite: ooo this was when i started my abbitv series which . is still unfinished HBFSB but ... i honestly love every set i made for it, if i have to choose a favorite i'll go with breathe x skins because i really think, for my amateur skills, i nailed the vibe.

august

popular: this taehyun loserlover stage set. it still amazes me when i go back to making txt content how usual it is to get hundreds of notes, i'm so used to the flop life now

favorite: this i love you gfx for teumeweek it's still probably ... one of my favorite edits i've ever done. i also went through a little phase with this edit style and i would like to go back to it at some point, it's just really time consuming, probably a lot more than it looks haha

september

popular: another taehyun stage set, this time a moa diary facecam !

favorite: honestly my unhinged chamhwi set i love them so much ... this is one of those ... i think abt my own set often ones lol. you can tell i started school because all my content becomes ... less time consuming from here

october

popular: taegyubin being cute, checks out

favorite: my wanna one light mv set, even though she's a flop she's MY flop and i really love the coloring and composition on it. i honestly didn't make much i really liked this month, probably because of ~ midterms ~

november

popular: jihoon's tmi log set ! you know i made no content for txt that month when a treasure set is my most popular lol ... but like so true that's my bestie .

favorite: my to1 no more x mv set i still think she's sooo sexc even though it was under-appreciated. and my golcha bias airlines gfx !

december

popular: this soobin lovesong japanese ver stage set aka the only txt content i've made this month lol

favorite: well the month is not over yet but i am very proud of my end of the year sets. in particular, my lucy gatcha! set, and favorite soloist title tracks set are probably my absolute favorites. i'm on my new laptop, settling into this new blog, and trying new things out every day. with the compilation sets i'm really enjoying working with colors, which looking back through it really has always been the root of my style but it's evolved a lot over time. rather than just choosing shots and then trying to force the colors to work, i've become a lot more intentional about my shot choices to begin with - my process has really changed and though it definitely takes more time and intentionality, i've been super happy with the results these days <3

tagging on to some of my fave creators n friends ... @donghuun @wabisaba @miyawaki @kdongyoung @slowrabbitpd @dreamaze @beomkai @soppa @berryjaellie @siyoon @hoonlidays @heeseunq if you've already done it feel free to ignore, or tag me in a reply so i can check it out !

#this was a trip it rly was JKBDJHFBA #erigames

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