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voilaammayi · 4 months

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okay okay wait a second

victor trevor interrupting stranger’s conversation just because he heard the name sherlock holmes in it? asking if he has been mentioning him? being the only friend sherlock had in college? remembering that the one kind of pasta he eats is penne and having his own predictions about who sherlock’d be in the future? asking right away if he’d been right? thinking that sherlock of all people was a great laugh? and have I heard being in between boyfriends???

finally, speaking about sherlock with this warm nostalgic tone and always with a bashful laugh hidden behind it? oh my, mister victor trevor, you were in love!

and don’t mind me at all, but I’m having a certain vision - of sherlock and victor in college, victor coming late to their dorm after long evening studying in the library or a night out with friends in a pub, and finding sherlock transfixed on some experiment, of course having gone a whole day without a proper meal. victor complaining loudly about you and your fucked up diet, honestly, sherlock, but at the same time getting ready to go make sherlock some pasta for a late night diner. because did you know this penne with mascarpone and tomato sauce that is the only pasta sherlock eats, is originally a victor’s recipe? and after it’s done, them both sitting on a couch, sherlock eating from a pot - they’re students after all, the dishes are in a big dirty pile in the sink - while victor watches him out of the corner of his eye. then the rest of the evening spend on Sherlock talking about his experiment, some interesting plant or a new deduction, while victor just listens to him with a dreamy expression on his face, because that’s what he has been waiting the whole day for.

and I won’t speculate whether sherlock was in love, too, because the man is a mystery to me, but I do imagine victor calling him after the events of gloria scott, asking if he can come by to baker street to thank properly for solving the case. after sherlock agrees - but invites him over when he knows nor john neither mariana would be home - victor arrives with a shoping bag in hand and, in spite of some attempts at protest close to it’s not necessary, he prepares the penne pasta for sherlock one last time. then all is done and there’s no excuse for him to stay longer, really, so he stands up to say goodbye. quick enough for sherlock to not be able to do anything about it, victor kisses him on the cheek. but he had been watching sherlock during the case and heard enough my dear watson to know that he has lost his chance. so he says simply good luck, sherlock and walks out of baker street.

john would come back to the flat few moments later to find sherlock standing in a doorway, hands holding his cheeks. sherlock being even weirder than usual, john would get worried and trying to pry any information from him, even checking his temperature by a quick touch to the forehead. but as sherlock doesn’t comply, in the end john would just shrug his shoulders and leave him alone, only to become perplexed seconds later, when he enters the kitchen.

because there are leftovers of penne with mascarpone and tomato sauce already on the countertop, while john himself was just about to cook them this same thing for dinner.

#sherlock and co #john would be like at least the kitchen isn’t on fire #sherlock would be thinking intensely and quite unable to stop touching his cheek #victor would be smiling to himself on his way home knowing there’re now more people caring about sherlock #excuse me while I’ll go realease my feelings in a cathartic scream #john watson #sherlock #sherlock holmes #goalhanger #goalhanger podcasts #johnlock #sherlock & co #sherlock and co spoilers #sherlock & co spoilers #the gloria scott spoilers #the gloria scott pt1 spoilers #viclock

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lovelydrusilla · 3 months

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aren't you tired of being nice. don't you just wanna go ape-shit

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mrghostrat · 5 months

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i was hoping to stream this afternoon but i woke with my shoulders hurting so bad that i have absolutely zero capacity for anything. to the point where i experienced my first autistic rumbles in the supermarket 🥸 but i have adhd meds now so maybe we can try tomorrow.

zita's suspected i'm on the spectrum for a little while now, but i've always been on the fence about it. there's a lot i don't relate to. but most of that is bc i have so much learned behaviour, and i mask really well. when i try to break down how i think for autism diagnostic quizzes, my gut reactions DO fit the bill, but they are so so so buried under 30 years of life experience that feels like it comes naturally.

but i am an introvert. an extreme introvert. even while living alone with my best friend, who i get on perfectly with and feel zero need to mask around, i still need to excuse myself and be left alone in my room from 10pm at LEAST.

so i only really unmask when i'm dead alone. even though i dont feel like i'm putting up any kind of front around of zita, i still do, automatically. the only time i see myself completely bare is when i'm alone and it's silent and there is absolutely nothing challenging my comfort.

sooooo hoooooo boy waking up in pain, with zero capacity to even finish a thought, still empty of ADHD medication because of the fuckin manufacturing shortage (thankfully today's trip into town was to finally pick some up! but that wasn't until noon), i got to see a side of myself i don't know if i've ever actually seen before? maybe as a kid but i can't remember specifically that far back?

i've been short tempered and overwhelmed and exposed to sensory nightmares whilst home alone before, but it's usually so quick bc i'm at HOME and i can adjust the situation and i never think much of it. i felt like a bluescreen at that supermarket today, popping in for less than 10 things across 3 aisles.

it was so busy. there were so many people. i felt dread just to walk through it, so aware of my own body and the space i had to inhabit. but par for the course so far. what was less par for the course was having to stop and look at my list every 3 steps, unable to put together a course of action in my head: chicken is on the far left, so we grab that first and get broccoli on our way to the soup aisle. but the broccoli is right there. do i grab that first, go get the chicken, but then double back from where i just came? i might get myself some bananas too, how do i fit that into my path—

i had to keep stopping and looking at my list because every item i thought of made me forget the previous one i just looked at. eventually got fed up with myself and went to the closest thing and started there, regardless of whether i'd have to double back or not. that's what trips me when i take these quizzes n shit. i can get over the hump and do the task in the end, so that must mean i'm totally allistic! no autism here.

i remember thinking "jesus christ this is bad" when i was on my way to get zita's soup (if you've read this far, thank you and kisses to you, pls send some loving vibes to zita by reading her fic i just reblogged, bc she's got a cold and is miserable today) so i was kinda aware i was having a bad sensory day. as expected: there were a lot of people there, and i was in pain. but i just short circuited looking at soup. zita gave me the brand name and soup type of 3 cans she wanted. and i went to the aisle i've been to a thousand times, found the brand, and just stared. it was all stew. all chunky brothy things with bits in. not a single creamy soup in sight, so, the soup must be somewhere else.

i came to that conclusion immediately but i couldn't. process it? or like, what to do with that information. the soup is somewhere else. OR IS IT? keep looking at this shelf to make sure, your eyes are tired, you might've missed it. there's like 20 different cans of campbells here, just keep reading them left to right until soup appears. still no soup? read them again, you might've missed it. maybe campbell's is out of soup? read every other brand here until you Don't see soup, then you can walk away and try somewhere else. but if you don't see any soup, read it again because you might've missed it.

thankfully it took all of 30 fuckin seconds for a store employee who was shelving next to me to see my glazed fuckin stare and ask if i needed a hand with anything. and i stammered through some "haha my silly eyes today!! haha thanks! sorry, thank you!" as she happily pointed like 3 metres down the aisle for me, while my internal monologue immediately raged like "wtf why would they put the soup that far away but also barely far away at all, what's the point, bad design 😡"

got soup. check list: packet of gravy. zita told me the gravy was in the same section as the soup. it was not. i walked up and down that aisle five times and there was no gravy. i just. i had completely forgotten how to problem solve. it was the strangest, most frustrating experience. like i was looking at an empty word document in my brain, with a little flashing cursor and everything, so i knew it hadn't frozen over. it was just empty.

i even had the thought "just walk up and down the aisles until you find gravy; you have to do this all the time" and even had ideas of which aisles to start with. but my brain said no. we're not going to walk around aimlessly, even if we have a neat little structure and path to follow. we were told (by myself, too) this would be a quick in out trip, pluck the known items off the shelf and beeline straight for the checkout. so meandering down aisles was for some reason non negotiable. i wasn't in a rush. i had nothing to do today. i barely even felt a rush to get out of there, as busy as it was. it just wasn't an option.

so rather than start solving that problem i just jumped to the next thing on the list. strepsils. text to ask what kind she wants, have a whine about my broken brain, ask if she knows where the gravy is. remember when i pass the hair brushes that i broke my hairbrush this morning and need a new one!! oh and i've been wanting new hairclips too. look at me picking a new hairbrush and poking through the hairclips for one that i know will feel comfortable against my scalp, i'm not autistic because i can change my plans and make decisions on the fly.

oops didn't mean for this post to be an entire play by play of my thoughts through this extremely bland grocery shop. i cannot believe how long i stood there choosing soup. the line at the self checkout was so long and i felt the dread kick up again. barely/silently whispered "oh god" to myself when i realised the line, but repeated it about 20 times to feel the tap of my tongue against the roof of my mouth before i realised i was doing it. stop that, don't mutter to yourself. but i'm standing still in a line and there's nothing left to (ineffectually) problem solve, so the second i stop i notice a weird little slice in the plastic around the trolley handle that i can't stop flicking my thumbnail against.

OK. we need to stim. heard, chef. just click your piercing ffs. your mouth might look weird when you do it but at least everyone can see you're just clicking your teeth against your piercing, rather than talking to yourself or damaging public property.

something made a noise, can't even remember if it was a child or a trolley or what, some loud sharp single high pitched screech a few metres away, and i jolted so hard i thought i felt like i was going to throw up. finally think, fucking hell i'm autistic today. my back hurts. which is making my head hurt. i want to go home and take my vyvanse.

#ghost scribbles #autism #extremely long unimportant recount of my day #but it was quite cathartic to write #feeling very vulnerable and tired now ufgh

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baalzebufo · 8 months

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SET TO DETONATE AND RESONATE !

#alloyart #doctor n gin #n gin #dr n gin #crash bandicoot #eyestrain maybe /#this was very cathartic to draw. almost vent but not quite? just playing with shapes and style in ways i dont usually #not really caring if it looks messy or weird because well. so is he #anyway listen to human rocket by DEVO . its my n.gin song

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dawnthefluffyduck · 3 months

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Free time has (sort of) arrived

(cat is katsrkole on instagram)

#still trying to figure out snouts #shockingly enough I never really drew anthro characters before i found ralsei #see i've actually done quite a lot of larger drawings in my figure drawing class #around 10-12 #but they're all drawings of real people and half of them are unclothed #and i have no interest in posting either of those things here #but just like last semester #the things i'm learning in that class are popping up in my personal drawings #so in a way i'm still kinda sharing a bit of what i've learned this semester? sort of??#i'm gonna be so damn sad when i don't have this professor anymore #he takes the stress out of model drawing so that we can focus on actually improving instead of just fighting for our grades #and it's working so well for pretty much everyone in the class #i will still likely not be doing any actual drawings any time soon #but if i went any longer without drawing for myself?#i think i was gonna combust #this was actually cathartic i am in a much better mood now #cats #kris #susie #ralsei #deltarune #doodles #okay tag wall finished now i will scroll because i have missed quite a lot lately

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c-hrona · 10 months

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Commission for @joeys-piano :3

More commission infos!

#trigun #nicholas d. wolfwood #chronart #commission #loved working on these pieces #should draw backgrounds more ofter because they are quite cathartic to do

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some-pers0n · 5 months

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Computer! Google search: "How to write character going on murder spree after thousands upon thousands of words of build-up without it sounding like a generic Creepypasta from the 2000s with descriptions of finding peace in finally having some semblance of control over their life and whatnot"

#Hgrgggggrhhrgghhh I love writing characters being like this but it's always a big fear #I don't wanna come off like I'm trying to be some edgy kid who's like: “And then he went INSANE MODE!!! and killed EVERYONE!!”#Cause like #No #Please #I want this scene to be *good* and have a nice payoff because it comes after a long...long while of The Guy having the worst time ever #I want it to be unfortunately cathartic #In the sense that it's cathartic that he's doing this but it's also quite. sad and upsetting him seeing like this #Becoming somebody he always feared of being #And then thus being remembered as it for eternity #sp-rambles

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synthwavecryptid · 1 year

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is there anything so undoing as a daughter

#miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #across the spiderverse #art crimes with koko #I am a very simple being I see a scary traumatized father and imprint on him quite a lot #this was cathartic

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on-stolen-sunbeams · 2 months

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There was a donut shop I used to pass on my walk to school senior year. I remember those pastel mornings well; the soft clouds of steam rising gently from outside vents, the way the world stood quiet, only interrupted by occasional puttering of an old pickup turning into the parking lot. It was in an old plaza, with flat, squat buildings and slightly garish, brightly colored signage. Every so often, if the breeze blew right, you could smell the faint aroma of coffee wafting your way. If you walked past early enough, sometimes you'd catch the glow of twinkle lights adorning the fence, still on from the night before and not yet washed out by sunlight. It was softer, somehow, a gentler, simpler place than the tall corporate-sleek tech companies, all silver and chrome, that came before. A kinder, more subdued plane of existence a few hundred feet down the road cloaked in goldenhour magic.

I once promised myself I'd stop by sometime, walk to school with a maple-glazed pastry in hand or curl up in the outdoor seating area and watch the sunrise. The shop opened early enough, after all. But I never did keep that promise. I regret it now.

It might just be the heartsick for yesteryear part of me, wedged somewhere beneath my ribcage like a particularly uncooperative splinter. But there's something pinprick painful about those unfulfilled promises. Not just about a warm donut, but penciled lists in childish handwriting with big dreams, so full of heart, leaving no room for much else. the complete and utter conviction in a happy ending. now I swirl bittersweet. Kids have the kind of faith that could take them to the stars should they only wish to glance a meteor. I know my younger self would lend me grace and sweet forgiveness that I can no longer afford, but I refuse to make a habit of accepting the priceless for free.

I'm not where I wanted to be. I didn't dream of dinner conversations under a veneer of disappointment and gray days, or pray to spend my days desperately clutching at mediocrity, of blending into wallpaper and counting down days torn between relief and dread.

It's easy to twist words into a new genre, a new form, cut sentences at the root and move them somewhere better. It's much harder to replant ampersand ambitions. I can't explain how things warped until they splintered. There's no clearcut reason for the way things are opposed to how they should've been. I don't want to look back and gloss over the regret, but averting my eyes is the least painful option, because it hurts, the twin desires to patch up youthful hopes and grind them to dust beneath my heel.

I don't know how this one ends. There's no moral, no central thesis I can cling to. I should've woven some kind of unifying theme, embedded details like a trail of breadcrumbs to an inevitable conclusion instead of throwing darts in the direction of a last page. The ending is still vague and uncertain. The story's not over yet.

Maybe I'll close with a zoomed in shot of a plane ticket, then a morning treat, some lesson in how it's never too late. The credits will roll into a lovely dawn sky, the focus will drag across a half-full coffee cup and evoke some sense of closure and peace. Onwards and upwards, it gets better. Maybe the shop's closed now, and the story ends with a solitary figure walking away, head heavy. the scene closes and you exit with a sour aftertaste and a wasted journey. I'm not cruel enough to spread regret like poisoned dandelion seeds in spring but sometimes it bleeds into the syllables. Maybe it fades off. I never visit, never wonder, slam the door shut and pretend today is day one and everything that came before never existed. Nostalgia sucks, but every open wound eventually scars over and flattens if you leave it be. Perhaps this one will too.

It's still too early to tell.

Some seven-year old part of me promises it will be alright. My seventeen year-old shade looks on with distrustful desperation.

(I hope I do right by her.)

#tis the season of cathartic self-reflection but also disappointment #this felt like the written equivalent of sweeping broken heirlooms out from under the bed after they've gathered dust #and hoping that the cracks are superficial in the more intact pieces.#something about how every end is a beginning and every beginning is an end #I'm a lot better now than I used to be I think.#but it's hard not to feel bitter looking back. nostalgia's quite a drug.#anyways to quote Palahniuk: I'll shut up now.#spilled ink #writing #writeblr #os2.txt

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anonyhex · 1 month

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Astarion/Wyll (Baldur's Gate), Ulder Ravengard & Wyll, Astarion & Ulder Ravengard Characters: Astarion (Baldur's Gate), Wyll (Baldur's Gate), Ulder Ravengard Additional Tags: Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Safeword Use, Panic Attacks, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Established Relationship, Domestic Disputes, foreplay happens but things stop before they can go further, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, (Imagined) Canon-Typical Violence Series: Part 4 of An Acorn in the Moonlight Summary:

Astarion is getting more and more angry about Ulder's apparent inability to show affection to his son. After a fight, he decides he wants to heap praise on Wyll to make up for Ulder's flaws.

It goes worse than expected.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 wyll #wyll ravengard #wyllstarion #astarion #bg3 astarion #bg3 #Can I offer you a Wyll panic attack in these trying times?#I wrote this instead of the other WIP because shit is going down irl and it was actually quite cathartic!

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vaugarde · 2 months

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pokeani moments that exist purely to make Me miserable:

the line where they call ash's oshawott a throwaway pokemon in the unova league so they're just flat out saying they think it's a worthless pokemon

to thine own pokemon be true (extra angst points for me bc ambipom was my second favorite on the team at the time)

the granddaughter of the guy who trains gliscor calling gliscor pathetic and weak to her face despite gliscor being an extremely sensitive pokemon

pretty much everything about that gible

blue episode (favorite color but they made it a fetish somehow and also dewott and brionne and meowstic are all there and its so bad)

boxing heracross immediately. also that battle frontier episode where it's literally the only returning ash mon (barring torkoal i think but i dont count it bc its native to AG) to get humiliated onscreen

pidgeot returning but gliscor didn't even show up in the miniseries despite being an Actual Character

#sorry ik i keep bringing up the throwaway line but like. its SOOOOOOOOOO bad holy shit #the heracross one isnt aaaaaas bad tbf bc they really make up for it in the sinnoh league #but aside from one ep in the miniseries we never quite get an episode where oshawott proves itself in a battle #i still love that episode bc it still kinda feels like an apology for all the oshawott bashing in bw but i am a little :/#that battling didnt even come up once #ive kiiinda eased up on gliscors benching episode bc at the end of the day it isssss pretty good to her. also its the best animated one #but its treatment like what i mentioned that still really drags it down to me #and also like. i know ppl praise gliscor being so powerful after the episode but i really dont get why we couldnt have just #had a gliscor training arc onscreen. but ig we wouldnt have that stupid ass gible plot that went nowhere now would we #but like.... we had such a huge stretch between that episode and the league. i really dont get why we couldnt have had a mini arc #where gliscor realizes shes not pulling her weight that well and really starts hauling ass #she doesnt really even sweep in the paul fight. she gets beaten immediately by ninjask #the drapion part was awesome tho yayyyy #but my point is that it wouldnt really change much if gliscor just stayed and got stronger on its own #have the bench episode be a wake up call for gliscor rather than a goodbye one and she becomes super competent #like im not just saying this bc gliscor is my favorite character in the entire show. i feel like its straight up kinda lazy and less reward #rewarding #imagine how the drapion fight could be EVEN MORE cathartic if we saw gliscor struggle and fight to get better throughout the show #as much as i like that specific battle and ash vs paul as a whole... it just kinda proves my point that sending gliscor away at all #was kind of a shitty move #like ohhhhh ash's team is all getting revenge for lake acuity yay!!!!! oh one of them was kicked off for the sake of a shitty gible plot th #which really only served to make shitty piplup bashing jokes and only actually had a conclusion in the league itself #by which time it was too late to actually do anything else with it. yeah we kicked someone off for that. but shes back now!!!#like it doesnt weaken the battle THAT much. in fact theres some value in how ash went out of his way to make sure gliscor could be there #so her defeat could also be avenged. and its still my fave battle in the whole anime. but it just proves to me how pointless that was reall #echoed voice

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hwaitham · 6 months

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#𓈒 ۫ 𝓹𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓲𝓮 𐂯 𝓹𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮𝓼 ₊⠀ೀ #i picked up dwis fic again tonight after a few weeks off frm sparing it any attention #am finding it quite cathartic to write given recent happenings in coco'z life ♡#which is nice i must say . . for a change words are leaving m fingertips wif more ease than usual #although i am a tad apprehensive thinking abt sharing dis fic since it is rather personal . . self shippie . . . aa #mostly 'm worried abt how clingy da reader is n if it may put some people off >< we shall c .#may j post wifout tags n turn off rebipboopz #regardless i hope bugsy n gray n bouquet nonnie cn look forward to dis . . . dey may like it i feels :3c

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thatrandombystander · 5 months

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Sometimes you remember a truly dark longfic you were reading 10 years ago around 2014 and go on a quest to hunt it down. Good lord that thing kept going until 2018 and ended up over 700k words long. The amount of ongoing whump and psychological trauma in that fic was truly astonishing asdfghjkl

#ramblings of a bystander #2014-ish were among the worst years of my life so imagine the darkfic was quite cathartic #.....it was. of all things a fucking fic based on The H*bbit movies ASDFGHJKL #i dont know if i even read any other fic based on those movies #tempted to check it out and see how it ends #from memory i thought it did start to drag on a bit

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seaside-stories · 3 months

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rage

You know the expression "seeing red?"

Yeah, that never really resonated with me. To me, it feels more like a pot that's overflowing. Or a thermometer that's gotten too hot. A bottle popping its cork. Something like that.

I'm filled with the most violent thoughts and urges. It feels good to dwell on them sometimes. It feels cathartic in a way.

But not enough.

Just dwelling on those thoughts feels, in a way, akin to pleasuring yourself. It feels good, like scratching an itch. When you realize that it's only a fantasy, though, it's like stopping right before you push yourself past the edge.

So when he said those words to me, of course I took the opportunity. My hand was on the door handle but in a flash it was on his arm. Like it was second nature, I twisted it back and brought my knee up with a satisfying crack. He screamed, but I couldn't hear it over the blood rushing in my ears.

This.

This is what euphoria feels like.

I twisted his arm even farther and watched as his bones turned at an unnatural angle. There was a nice pop as I jerked his arm forward.

"Why?" He moaned. I payed his words no mind. Instead I leaned forward and grabbed ahold of his lower lip, and pulled it clean off with one forceful downward pull.

His knees buckled and he hit the floor hard. The flesh of his lip still in hand, I shoved his head back into the corner of the dresser behind him. It pierced his skin with a dull cracking noise. He gave a wail of pain. I threw his head back again. and again. and again. and again.

Finally, he passed out. I took a moment to inspect the back of his head. There was a bloody hole, akin to the kind you dig in your backyard. Wet at the bottom, and full of flecks of white. I shoved my finger in it, and was disappointed when he didn't writhe in pain.

I slapped his cheeks and he came to with a start. He groaned and tried to bring his hand up to his head to inspect the nexus of pain but I didn't give him a chance before I dug my finger deep into the hole. He gave a horrible howl while my face broke out in a grin. I kept trying to dig my finger farther and farther in until finally it woudln't go any more. He went limp once more in my hands.

Letting go of him, I allowed his face to hit the floor. I pushed his body with my shoe, turning him so his ear was to the ground. I raised my foot, and then I

crushed and

stomped and

pulverized

his face until it was unrecognizable. His skull had caved in and the ear facing skyward had been lost somewhere in the mess of blood and flesh.

I took my foot off and wiped it on his shirt, as you would on a doormat. I took a moment to fix my hair and to compose myself.

"You really shouldn't say things like that," I said calmly, one foot out the door. "They hurt my feelings."

#my heart is beating as fast as it would if i were writing smut #i should do this more often #this was quite cathartic i have to say #ss writes #writing #mine #gore #blood #body horror

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hungriesttable · 11 months

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you know it’s peak when the MCs have an emotionally intimate and tangled and toxic relationship that transcends yaoi

#trigun #trigun maximum #berserk #omniscient reader’s viewpoint #no home #no home manhwa #ok let me explain #when they have this connection that ties them together despite everything. soulmate feels like not quite the right word but similar idea #they just choose each other. often very evilly (being very liberal in my use of the word evil)#also double. double the manga #there is no one big cathartic moment that resolves their relationship. they just keep struggling on #I like stories where things are cut and dry as the saying goes but this type of thing really keeps me coming back #I’m chasing the carrot on the end of the stick here

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basofy · 10 months

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oh boy she's finally finished !!!! lisa doll i made, took me considerably less time than other plushies and is one of the few finished ones, you can see that i like lisa a lot

also pic with her bestie claus!!

(claus was the first plush i ever made back in 2019, there is a big difference)

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