Cressida: “That’s my babygirl!”

The babygirl in question: *Eloise full of rage and violence*

If Colin Bridgerton has a million fans, I'm one of them.

If Colin Bridgerton has 100 fans, I am one of them.

If Colin Bridgerton has one fan, I'm probably dead, but Nicola Coughlan is alive and well and that's something worth celebrating.

coriolanus snow: fuck katniss everdeen 😡

peeta mellark: my brother in christ, i am TRYING

"you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you" if you insist on treating me like a beast then you can't be shocked when i play the part

You meet god and she's mostly dead fish. You ask her why and she says most of the world is dead fish, and she's made herself to appeal to the most common denominator, the everyman funnyman comedy show that runs for eleven seasons but with the entire universe in mind. You ask her how much of the dead fish is your fault, she says it's far less than you'd think, in the grand scheme of things. You ask her if you matter at all. If you can do anything. She shrugs her rotting shoulders and says mattering is a made-up concept, like life, but sure, you can matter if you want to, on some scale. She has many scales. She doesn't know what you mean by 'anything', but you can do everything you can. You ask her if it's enough. She says there's no base requirement for deserving to exist. She's smoking a joint and the smoke filtering out of her gills gathers and forms gas giants and red dwarfs. You ask her if there's any hidden secrets of the universe you should know and she says it's not a secret if she tells, plus it's fun to let you figure it out yourself. You ask her if any of your questions were right questions and she says you worry about being right so much it might keep you from fucking around, which is as close to meaning of life as she ever bothered to make. You don't ask but she says she loves your hair, also your whole being, also your planet. She says she figured out what love is yesterday and is trying it out, which explains the ten thousand rainbows and sudden influx in rains of fish. She offers you a drag of her joint and you wake up half past midnight behind a chain restaurant clutching a smoked salmon. The new stars are winking like they're in on some joke and you're sure if you try hard enough you'll remember what it is.

percy would NOT be jealous/possessive of anyone having a crush on annabeth because 1) she's so possessive that he knows she would never cheat on him and 2) he thinks she is so smart and pretty and cool and awesome that he's just like "hell yes. my girlfriend is sooo awesome thank you for noticing!"

i find it so unfair that i cant do all the science. like what do you MEAN I can't study bio and chem and biochem and atrophysics and physics and geology and climate science. what do you MEAN i have a limited lifespan and need to get out of school at some point to get a job. i want to collect the science fields like pokemon, this isn't fair

Being in the woods with your cryptid/gremlin friend like:

- *casually breaking thorns off of a vine and putting them in pocket*

- MOSS

- *very politely sits on giant rock*

- *pointing at half fallen tree* "you think that can hold me?" "No." "I'mma get on it anyway" "NO" *thud*

- *singing the hearse song while walking through a dry creek*

- *sees bird high up in tree* is that a challenge?

- *sits on stump*

- MUSHROOMS

- *singing welcome to the internet while climbing a tree*

- *walks through tree limb* hey that hurted dont do that

- *trips over rock* *apologies to rock*

- *pointing at something they definitely should not climb* "I'mma climb that"

- *making paper stars while sitting in a tree*

- CRUNCHY LEAVES

- *sets down bucket of Things™ to climb a tree*

- *hearing Very Normal Cat Sounds somewhere near by* if this is how I wind up on supernatural I'mma seriously haunt your ass

- *drinking tea while searching for pine cones*

- *quotes three tumblr posts and a tx2 song in one breath*

- ACORNS

- *jumps over dead bush*

- "Hey, tree sap!!!" "Hey, leaves!!!" "Hey, moss!!!" "Hey, tree!!!" "Hey, nature!!!!"

- *completely oblivious to friend talking to them while chasing frog*

- *comes across fence* "bet I could jump that" "don't" *hops fence*

suki: how are you good at tracking down azula? tylee: I got me some good gaydar

There is a giant crab at the bottom of the Bermuda triangle that has been consistently feasting on boats and planes since 1846. He is allowed to continue his feast as he has a treaty with the United States navy that states he can eat his fill so long as he doesn't venture outside the triangle

Ea-nāsir actually came up in a lecture this week. We were talking about the concept of feedback, as you do, and the lecturer just goes ‘I don’t know if you’ve heard of this, but the oldest recorded customer complaint was to a man named Ea-nāsir’. Heard of him? Babes I am intimately familiar with him. He is my Roman Empire.

im a multishipper until you try to touch my babies ok.

james and lily? absolutely. lily and mary? adorable. james and regulus? grumpyxsunshine GOLD. regulus and barty? our favorite psychos. barty and evan? you know it's growing on me

but other ships instead of wolfstar????? like??? they're the only ones for each other argue w the goddamn wall

COME BACK TO ME

i am waiting for my husband (ao3) to come back from war (being down)

the girlies when ao3 is down