Memory.

A faint beeping appeared within range. At first it was a part of my dream, each beep an explosion nearby, sending men I’d been serving with flying through the air. I struggled for a moment and opened my eyes, my vision slowly coming back from the blurs of white and blue that surrounded me. I looked down at myself, each day became more and more reassuring as the number of tubes and drips plugged into me fell. My face was itchy, my unkept beard was tickling my dry lips and nose. I looked up at the sound of the door open, a smile broke as the nurse walked in. There was something about her presence that eased me, her eyes were a kind brown, her hair a sandy blonde that was always in a messy bun on top of her head. It may have been that she didn’t top toe around me like everyone else, she was just so real, genuine, funny. ‘Morning sunshine’ she said with a giggle ‘Morn-’ was all my unpracticed voice could muster. No more words were shared, she just hovered around checking everything, her hand glided down my arm and my eyes rolled back into my head. The soft hands tickled my skin and goosebumps broke out all over my body. ‘Are you feeling up to someone coming in today?’ She asked hesitantly My grumbled response was obviously enough to press the issue ‘The more people you see the more likely you are to find out your name, who you are, isn’t that what you want?’ I looked through the window at the busy city streets. ‘Send them in’ I could already see her, she was pretty. Her hair was long and swept over one shoulder, she was an average build, more cute then beautiful. She walked through the door and approached the bed. This was always the worst part, staring at a stranger while they look longingly into your eyes, search your whole body. She was only there for a brief minute before her eyes started to swell up. She wiped her eyes and stepped out. I felt another part of me die in that moment and for the first time a tear worked its way through my body and squeezed itself out. ‘No luck this ti-’ She stopped as she saw the tear running down my chin. She walked over and sat down on the bed, she knew she wasn’t meant to, I knew she wasn’t meant to but we let it happen. Her arms found rest on my chest and her sandy curls ran under my chin. My heart swelled and my palms became sweaty, this was the most affection I’d ever received as far as I remembered. That’s what the most frustrating and heart wrenching part was, all of this knowledge, with no understanding of how I got it. I could have a wife and children, for all I knew I could have a husband and two pugs... but my life had become this room. This room and this nurse I didn’t even have a name for. ‘What’s your name?’ the words fell out as the thought ran through my mind ‘What’s yours?’ she whimpered

Fly or Die.

The long grass swayed in the thick autumn air, crunchy looking leaves were picked up and thrown off of the natural steep ledge. A large tree hovered ominously over the cliff reaching out over the long fall. A boy was laying in the long grass, his eyes a fiery auburn that glowed in the late sunset. He had a fair complexion, straight blonde hair that stood up over his head. He could hear nothing but the whistle of the air pushing through the trees long branches, a sound that was more soothing now then ever before. Flashes of men and women ripped through his mind. Blood shed and ear shattering shrieks played on repeat in the back of his mind. A tear drop glided down his face as she stood there in his memory, it was only brief, shorter every time he let it play over. Her long dark hair, her beautiful sea green eyes full of tears and terror. His fists clenched tight, his eyes opened and he gasped for breath. He slowly sat up, looking out in the infinite land before him. It was unlikely he would ever see her again, unlikely but not impossible. He stood up and walked towards the edge. He looked down at the deathly fall and back up at the sun. The wind picked up and a heavy whistle broke from behind him. He took a deep breath and a step forward, undecided on whether to accept death or soar into the sky.

Listen to your past -

His eyes were a bright intelligent blue, though from the perspective of the walkers by nothing else screamed intelligence. He was sitting on the cement wall of the station, faded jeans and a baggy shirt that had unintentional holes through the bottom. His head fell into his hands rubbing his tired eyes. He could feel the burning of stares looking him up and down with disapproval. The train pulled in slowly and he watched as the people stepped on, looking robotic in movement, it was all just part of their boring everyday routine. He hesitated on that thought, is that what lay ahead? No. He wasn’t sure if it was a spark within him or last nights liquor threatening to come up. He knew what he was capable of, he knew how much potential he had. He stood up and began the walk home, a new determination in his step. - The trains breaks pulled me forward and my sleepy head fell of my resting arm. I looked down at my pressed black pants, the small coffee stain on the sky blue button up that made my eyes pop. I stood up and walked towards the opening doors, feeling robotic. Missing was the once strong determination in my step, missing was that boy I’d left sitting at that train station with a longing to be something more.

LovingLonley

The air was crisp, my spine shivered in the cold chill. I could see my breath twisting into the sky the only other movement for miles. I was finally alone, I was finally away from everything. It was the first time in a long time I’d been able to feel myself breath, hear myself think, function with any consciousness at all really. I looked out and attempted to take in this unfathomable view. The snow was falling, gliding wonderfully through the air, each individual snow flake dancing around the field of white. I was much higher then I'd thought I was at first, the view down sent my stomach into knots and my head spun. I laid down and stared into sky, night was coming, black was slowly pushing down the warm orange sunset. A smile broke across my face, a snow flake landed gracefully on my nose and in that moment, I was free... I was free and I was happy.