A Love Letter to the Thursday Murder Club.
I just finished The Last Devil to Die. Book 4, and the last for a while. Mild spoilers for the whole series ahead.
This is not likely to be coherent, because I just finished the book about half an hour ago and I am a Wibbly Mass of Feelings. It is also, despite the spoiler warning, unlikely to have much to do with the actual plot, because my reading comprehension skills are rather terrible for anything that is not character arc and theme and worse when I am as invested as I am. Which is helplessly, hopelessly, far more invested than I have been in anything for a while.
I will be rereading for the actual plot, because I have an inkling it was genius. I was very confused, if I'm being honest, by the time we got to some of the big reveals, because I lost track of one or two of the major players at some point... I will also be destroyed all over again, but this book will be worn and tattered and so well-loved and I am so grateful it has found its way into my life.
This is a story of such kindness.
I mean, they all are. That's one of the things that struck me from the very beginning. But this book especially. I didn't cry, but it was pretty damn close, and that doesn't happen often.
This series has been everything I have been longing for for so long. And it was everything. A story about people from different backgrounds, who have lived very, very different lives, coming together with all the skills and perspectives they can each uniquely contribute to solve crimes -- that is actually a story concept that has been sitting on my to-write list for a really long time. I'm crossing it off now. I've found everything I hoped for and more.
It never would have occurred to me to make the crew a gang of pensioners, the ends of their lives a visible end of the tunnel, but that's what makes the whole thing work. It gives them such a unique approach to everything -- the kind of compassion and rationalism, wisdoms and sorrows and kindnesses that can only truly be represented by people who have seen so very much.
Every single person in this story is given the chance to be a person. Drug dealers and murderers, mothers and daughters, spies and nurses, builders and psychiatrists and people who were someone else, once. People with their whole futures ahead of them, people with too much past weighing them down. The broken, the hopeful, and the rebuilt. Some that are more than one. Each with their own lives and stories. Their crimes are not excused, nor even forgiven -- consequences come for everyone; the best and the worst of us alike. Is there such thing? Right and wrong, kindnesses and cruelties, choices and consequences. Mary Oliver is my favorite poet, and I think of Dogfish often --
And nobody, of course, is kind,
or mean,
for a simple reason.
And nobody gets out of it, having to
swim through the fires to stay in
this world.
(Yes, I'm quoting Mary Oliver in this disaster of a ramble. I'm in that deep.)
I don't know where I'm going with this. But I am not sure I have ever seen a story treat its inhabitants with such kindness. There is room for laughter and grief, love and sorrow alike, nestled comfortably in side by side, in a way that diminishes neither one or the other. More than most things, to me, at least, this story is about the way we each choose to live our lives. They are all we have.
"Grief doesn't need an answer, any more than love does," says Elizabeth. "It isn't a question."
"Did you get milk?" says Stephen. "People will want tea."
"Let me worry about milk," says Elizabeth.
It's probably not as significant without context. But when I tell you this passage destroyed me...
I fell utterly in love with Elizabeth from the very first book, to the surprise of absolutely no one. I don't love Joyce, Ron, Ibrahim, Stephen, Bogdan, Donna, Alan, and everyone else any less, honestly. I love them all with my entire heart. I am probably the most compromised over Elizabeth, because again, I'm me. Put a retired, terrifying, loyal, somewhat morally grey old spy with an abundance of sarcasm and humanity and a bushel load of bravery and heartache both in front of me and I'm doomed, apparently.
Joyce and Elizabeth have officially become my duo of all time, which is saying something, because I have a special love for duos. I also have a special place in my heart for Joyce and her courage and kindnesses now, and probably always will. IBRAHIM AND BOGDAN especially also have my heart. Oh, what am I saying, I'll keep going like this until I've listed the whole cast. I love them ALL. Have I mentioned Chris? And Viktor? I DIDN'T MENTION CHRIS.
OH AND PATRICE.
Ugh. Ugh, I love them.
Also, it might be hard to tell from this essay, but I do have to mention that every single one of the books in this series is hilarious. I read the entirety of The Last Devil to Die with a goofy little grin fixed on my face, except for the parts where I was internally bawling. This book broke my heart and glued it tenderly back together. I finished it with my heart full to bursting, aching and happy and grateful.
I will have to come back again sometime, and write something more coherent. But I am so very grateful to have found this series. I am used to falling in love with things, with stories, and occasionally sighing over the things I might have personally done differently (I'm a writer, I can't help myself). But to find a story that is everything I've wished for, that I wouldn't change for the world, is a certain kind of gift.
I think I lost my point somewhere. My grandmother's cat is keeping me company, I'm about to go get a drink of water (I'm been forgetting to hydrate, absolutely terrible), and I really need to go to bed -- but, well. I have got to quote something. I was going to use the last line of The Bullet That Missed, which has been stuck in my head ever since I finished it, and but it's a little lonely without the rest of the book. This one, then.
"[The museum in Baghdad] has pieces from six thousand years ago, can you imagine? And on these pieces you can see fingerprints, you can see scratches where someone's child has come in and distracted them. You understand that these people are still alive? Everyone who dies is alive. We call people 'dead' because we need a word for it, but 'dead' just means time has stopped moving forward for that person? You understand? No one dies, not really."
- The Last Devil to Die, Richard Osman
This was long. To the Thursday Murder Club, and to Richard Osman, thank you. It's been an honor.
Until next time.
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