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God is Dead, I’m Taking Over
Let’s be honest with ourselves. This blog has no set purpose. I’m practically a human dumpster fire at this point. I’m gonna post what I post. Like what I like. And probably hyperfocus from one thing to another. Welcome to hell. Enjoy your stay.
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asians: pls care about racism against us
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Danny: What's this? *Holding red envelope*
Jazz: I don't know. It came in the mail today. No name or anything, so I assumed it was for you from your night job.
Danny opening envelope: Jazz. This a love letter. A letter addressed to the Elder Daughter of the house
Jazz: For me? Who's it from?
Danny: Jason Todd. This is obviously a fake-
Jazz: I'm writing back.
Danny: What!? Why!?
Jazz: This is romantic as hell. He quoted Pride and Prejudice. I can not possibly pass up a chance with a boy who looks like that and reads classics.
Three days later
Tim: Oh shit
Dick: What?
Tim: Remember that prank we pulled on Jason by pretending to send love letters to random addresses posing as him?
Dick: Yeah, that was funny. He looked so embarrassed
Tim: One of them answered. *Holds up teal envelope*
Damian: Incredible. Contact her as quickly as possible
Tim: Why?
Damian: She's obviously has the courage and curiosity that fits well with Todd. Out of the lot of potential candidates, she shows the most promise to join this family
Dick: Dami.....those were real addresses?
Damian blinking slowly: You told me to help you find suitable lovers for Todd. It was a task. I complete tasks. I found real addresses for girls that fit Todd preference in women.
Tim: Omg
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Imagine going to Amity Park and your relative who lives there hands you a picture of Phantom and below the picture reads
This is Phantom.
Phantom is friendly. Phantom protects our town from other ghosts. No, he does not mean to cause any property damage. Yes, he tries to help clean up the mess. No, you can not approach him.
Don’t go looking for him. He’s scared of people, and we suspect it’s because of ghost hunters. Saying hi might be okay, but don’t be surprised if he leaves. If he approaches you, consider yourself lucky.
Phantom likes space. Don’t be surprised if you see him outside stargazing or in the library reading books on space. If you accidentally make eye contact, simply wave and move on to avoid scaring him. If you see him sleeping, walk away and don’t let the Fentons approach that area.
Many people here at Amity Park love and appreciate our ghost boy for protecting us. We’d hate it if something were to happen to him, so please be polite and respectful.
Have a good day!
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god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass
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Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.
Danny: i want in
Red robin: …what?
Danny: your bat family. I want in.
Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-
Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.
Red robin: …why?
Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.
Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!
Danny: *stares in shock*
Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?
Orphan: no need. New brother!
Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?
Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.
Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*
Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.
Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)
Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*
Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)
Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.
Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)
Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-
Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.
Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)
Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act
Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly
Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons
Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?
Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously
Robin: and why would we trust you?
Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?
Robin: …you drive a hard bargain
Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!
Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting
Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage
Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!
Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.
Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park
Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks
Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)
Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)
Batman: hn (that said)
Batman: welcome to the family
Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.
Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!
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I came across the AU idea that Dick Grayson is Richard Parker, and thus, Peter Parker's biological father. There are a few fics where Peter dimension travels to the DC universe and gets to meet his dead father. It is a fun idea, but I have different one.
AU where Peter dimension travels to the DC universe, and the batfam realizes that he is Dick's son, but rather than think he is from another universe, they all come to the conclusion that he is from the future.
It makes sense, after all, the rules of time travel basically boil down to 'don't change anything.' So when Peter is avoiding them and "pretending" not to know them, they just think he is following the rules. (He isn't even really avoiding them, he just has no idea who they are.)
You know how once you have an idea in your head, it take a lot of convince you that your wrong? Same idea here, they are so convinced of their idea that all new info ends up making them surer. Confirmation bias.
So Peter is trying to find a way home while the batfam tries to subtly help him without getting involved in time travel. Hijinks ensue.
Peter once mentions his love of photography and how he used to take pictures of heroes for a newspaper. Everyone looks at Tim and thinks, 'Gee I wonder where he picked up that hobby.'
At one point Peter pulls an assassin move, and Damian is like, 'I taught him that for sure.' (In reality Peter just trained with Natasha and Bucky before.)
When dealing with some issue Peter says something like, "I know a guy with some green angry problems and he taught me a lot about staying calm when mad." Everyone looks at Jason??? (He just picked up some meditation advice from Bruce Banner)
At some point he goes to the manor and everyone is like, 'Hah! More proof! He knows his way around the building!' He doesn't know his way around, his spider sense just lead him to where people are and kept him from getting lost.
He mentions Black Cat once, and everyone comes to the "totally logical" conclusion that Catwoman had a daughter, and that Peter and Felicia also have a weird almost dating thing going on.
Peter has been forced to go to some fancy events with Tony before so he knows how to act at rich people galas, which of course just adds fuel to the time travel theory.
Peter keeps accidentally referencing things that don't exist/didn't happen. Everyone just assumes these things didn't happen/don't exist yet.
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impostor syndrome: Oh no what if they can all tell that I'm an idiot who's not even supposed to be here, this is terrible.
goblin mode: I am the idiot that they use to test whether something's idiot-proof, and boy is this place not up to code.
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By the power of ADHD, I am immune to tinnitus. My left ear rings very faintly, and most of the time I can just completely tune it out because the constant invariable note cannot hold my interest for long. I only actually hear it when the other background noise of whatever environment I am in stops all of a sudden, and the ringing is the only one that remains, and then it gradually fades out like the end of an 80s pop song.
Sometimes I can make it fade out faster by trying to focus on listening to it. The more I focus, the more quiet and distant it gets, until I can't hear it anymore. In the battle of Curse of Infinite Whistle versus Can't Hear Shit Disorder, my ability to simply not notice my surroundings is an immovable object, but the inescapable noise is no unstoppable force.
I consider myself a fortunate man for how often my problems somehow manage to cancel each other out.
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in my mind if dragons were real then western and eastern dragons would be only distantly related species filling the same ecological niche across different continents. but due to visual similarities got called the same thing in English. and it would be one of those things that you hear on trivia game shows and go "oh that's neat" about and then move on with your day, like how tanuki get lumped in with racoons even tho racoons are musteloids and tanuki are canids. do you see my vision.
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Fear vs Fear
Danny was doing homework when Fright knight came to him.
FK: I would like your permission to go out on a Quest.
DP: Why are you asking me?
FK: You are the Guardian of the portal, a keeper of balance, and may be the next ghost king. So i ask your leave.
DP: What is this quest?
FK: It has come to my attention that there is a energy entity out in the stars who claims to be the emotional embodiment of fear and is powering this "Sinestro Corps" to do heinious deeds in the name of fear and terror. I seek to eliminate this corps and give this "Parallax" a beating and a lesson in true fear.
DP: Parallax sounds like a pharmaceutical drug or a laxative.
FK: Fear work well as a laxative. Your friend Tucker knows this very well.
DP: I thought you were the embodiment of fear?
FK: I AM.
DP: OK permission uh granted i guess.
Fright Knight bows then turns to go but is interrupted.
DP: oh and Fright knight?
FK: Hmm?
DP: win.
FK: of course.
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just learned that coke as in coca-cola as in the famous carbonated soda is canon in star wars and frankly I am upset
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the japanese “-ne?” particle and the british slang term “innit” serve the same function
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