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With Waves And Stuff
I gave up and here is my dump-it-all and enjoy my fandoms
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Here's how to write an authentic Grimm style fairytale, brought to you by a Certified German TM:
Forget everything Disney movies taught you, besides maybe Snowwhite, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. But even those are on thin fucking ice. Also ignore modern fantasy literature conventions, especially Dungeons & Dragons type stuff.
Ideally only the protagonist or none of the characters ought to have names. And the names should either be really fucking ordinary, or some kind of epithet. Like, either that's a Franz or a Bramblesock, cause when Bramblesock was a child he lost a sock in a shrub of brambles. Everyone else is either the king, the grandma, or the carpenter.
The common types of protagonist: Regular working class guy who cons his way into a life of riches, poor downtrodden peasant who through hardworking kindness is granted salvation (usually via gaining riches), too pure too good for this world princess who can't catch a fucking break, too nasty too bratty for this world princess who gets taught a lesson in humility.
The characters are generally very one note and the only kind of character growth they can experience boils down to "maybe I shouldn't have been a dick, huh?"
The location is either as vague as possible or super fucking specific for no reason; either the story takes place literally nowhere or in the town of Buxtehude.
Animals and inanimate objects that can talk for no apparent reason and no one bats an eye at are always a great addition.
If you want to add any fantasy races, use giants (large, dumb brutes), dwarves (angry little guys who live in the wilderness and get really angry if you touch their beards), or gnomes (mischievous house spirits who might be helpful but watch out!), but never more than one of these. Fairies are rare and usually the "tall beautiful wise woman" type, not the small annoying pixie type. Dragons are very pointedly no-where to be found, those distinctly belong in sagas, which are their own distinct type of literature.
Weird moral of the story that either boils down to "be smarter than all the other fuckers", "good things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people", or "don't upset the supernatural".
Random tidbits of gore that no one bats an eye at.
Witches eat children, if a mother gets more than single line dedicated to her she's evil, fathers are spineless and/or assholes who either die or come around in the end.
Ugly means evil, pretty means good. Except when it doesn't.
Optional: Repeated rhyming phrases and numbers. Seventh son of a seventh son kinda stuff. The numbers 3, 7, 12, and 13 in particular.
Ideally a 19th century scholar should be able to read some clumsy Germanic pagan wishful thinking into the story, no matter how big and obvious the Christian overtones are.
Optional: Start the story with "Once upon a time" and end it with "And if they didn't die, then they are still alive today."
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Maybe stop dating in general if you feel the need to break things your partners enjoy
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I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.
For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.
When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.
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Yknow when you see a post and you're like "oh I have to reblog this for The Mutual" and then you scroll up and you see that the one who reblogged it is The Mutual
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The poster for "The Two Towers" that I drew a long time ago
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been doing junicorn on Twitter, lol
here are the first 10!
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@shikitsuka
The wait is over - the Digitigrade/Unguligrade Leg pack is here! 🥳
Patrons at all levels got a special 20 image peek and the full 163 image Premium Pack is on Ko-fi for $15+
(Patrons get 20% off premium packs so be sure to message me there or check the preview post for the code if you need it!)
Modeling and photography on this pack is done by Thire and Faol; the legs are from Digilegs. Happy drawing!! ♥
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My latest cartoon for New Scientist.
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👑 Crowley — Bearer of Knowledge & Wisdom 🐍
Links Patreon & co
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Fanny Liautard: ‘Angel Wing Dress’ Bridal & Evening Collection (2012)
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I have no idea where the story went with them. I even feel odd about the concept and the story that I do remember. But they are a part of my childhood nostalgia, when I'd read the comics I borrowed from a friend of mine who lived across the street, and we'd chat about them.
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