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deputychairman · 1 day

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#biting biting kill kill kill

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deputychairman · 2 days

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texas gothic revival

Sometimes I just want to get on my hobbyhorse, which for about a year now has been the middle ages but surely will soon be something else. (Please hyperfixation gods, make it financial literacy.) Anyway, I meandered around the nation (online) in search of another opportunity to play another round of America Does Medieval. It took me a while for fortune to reward me but it finally did in the long-running McMansion Hell of Denton County, Texas.

2007 McMansions are pretty rare and it's even rarer for them to have the original interiors. This one, clocking in at 5 beds, 6 baths, and almost 7200 square feet will set you back a reasonable $2.3 million. We complain a lot about the hegemony of gray these days, but this is hindsight bias. Longtime readers will recall that the color beige walked so gray could run, and this house is emblematic of that fact.

It's...uncommon to see ordinary contractors try their hands at gothic arches and for all intents and purposes, I think this one did a pretty good job rendering the ineffable in common drywall. Credit where credit is due. Unfortunately the Catholic in me can't help but feel that this is the house equivalent of those ultra trad converts on Reddit who have Templar avatars and spend their days complaining about Vatican II.

Sometimes I still get the ever-dwindling pleasure of seeing the type of room that has never before existed in human history and definitely won't ever exist again. Certain material conditions (oil, lots of it, a media ecosystem in which historical literacy is set primarily by cartoons, adjustable rate mortgages) brought this space into the world in a way that cannot be recreated organically. Let us marvel.

Christ might need to be invoked should I choose to make a sweet potato casserole.

You can tell that ornament is fabricated because they made precisely TWO of them that are IDENTICAL. You could have fooled us into thinking a craftsman did this by hand from local Texas marble (or whatever), but alas greed got in the way of guile.

As someone who writes fiction on the weekends, I often feel the acute pain of having an imagination greater than my talent and an artistic vision detached from being able to effectively execute it. In this respect, this room speaks to me.

RIP Trump btw. Don't know if y'all saw the news yet.

I know a lot about medieval bathing for completely normal reasons (writing fiction, winning online arguments, stoned youtube binges)

I feel like most of my forms of social adaptation as a person on the spectrum comprise of sneaking in my holy autistic interest du jour into conversations as subtly as I can manage. I'm doing it right now.

Okay, so, there were no rear exterior photos of this house because, having used every square inch of lot, the whole thing is smashed up against a fence and there is simply no way of getting that desired perspective without trespassing and that's a mortal risk in the state of Texas. So I'll leave you with this final room, the completely medieval in-home theater.

That's all for now, folks. Stay tuned for next month, where we will be going down a cult compound rabbit hole in the Great Plains.

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#making fun of rich people’s bad taste: it’s a victimless crime!#op you’re a poet #also there’s a medieval moorish fortress where I live #that also has reused Roman columns and masonry built into it. just like this #(medieval accuracy)

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deputychairman · 2 days

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“Who the fuck does Ang Lee think he is, man?”

KNOCKED UP (“Brokeback Mountain” Deleted Scene) | 2007 | dir. Judd Apatow

#why are you booing him he’s right

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deputychairman · 2 days

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#being captain is hard he deserves 2 boyfriends

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deputychairman · 5 days

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Submitter comment: I'd like to submit this '[s]tudy of defensive behavior of a venomous snake as a new approach to understand snakebite' not for it's topic (worth studying!) but for it's insane methodology, which... well, I'll just let the researcher speak for himself:

[Q: Why did you decide to do this experiment?

A: Snake behavior has been generally neglected as a field of research, especially in Brazil. And most studies don’t examine what factors make them want to bite. If you study malaria, you can research the parasite that causes the disease—but if you don’t study the mosquito that carries it, you will never solve the problem. Up until now, the popular wisdom was that the jararaca would only attack if you touched it or stepped on it. But that was not what we found.

Q: Why did you need to be the victim?

A: The best way to do this research is to put snakes and a human together. In this case, the human was me. We put the snakes inside a ring on the floor of our lab until they got used to it, then I stepped in wearing special protective boots. I stepped close to the snake and also lightly on top of it. I didn’t put my whole weight on my foot, so I did not hurt the snakes. I tested 116 animals and stepped 30 times on every animal, totaling 40,480 steps.]

From the recent (aptly named) interview: Researcher steps on deadly vipers 40,000 times to better predict snakebites

#no this is my passion

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deputychairman · 5 days

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#ariana grande it’s equality.gif

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deputychairman · 5 days

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“she should be at the club” “but not everybody can handle loud music / likes going out / enjoys drinking / wants to—“ YOURE MISSING THE POINT. “she should be at the club” is not about the literal club!! it’s about the whimsy of youth!! it’s about the things you can get away with, body and mind!! it’s about having fun and ignoring the horrors for as long as you can!! it’s about the fact that you do not deserve to feel this pain and have these responsibilities, you do not deserve to be locked in your room with your sadness, you deserve to enjoy the music and the pretty lights and the ass shaking of life!!! it’s about how i wish joy for you, even if you do not wish it for yourself!!! you should be at the club!!!!

#it’s a metaphorical club #often the best kind

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deputychairman · 6 days

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#still feel a knee jerk flicker of rage at posts like this #time has not dimmed the power Oscar Isaac’s face

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deputychairman · 6 days

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while they share a similar base flavor, dick tastes more umami while pussy tastes more acidic, though recent menstruation conveys an overwhelming metallic flavor that some diners object to (though i am not one of them). recommended wine pairings are

#thanks guys great post no notes

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deputychairman · 7 days

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