eggcats
first mistake: was born
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From the River to the Sea 🇵🇸🍉🫒
(Feel free to make art or fics of any of the prompts I do, just give me credit, please ♥️)
(also, I wanna read or see it 🙏🙏🙏)
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I do have an idea of Alastor taking Vox pet shopping, because Vox mentioned having a dog when he was alive and missing having a companion
Alastor agrees to get him a pet, as long as it ISN'T a dog
Vox cannot believe THIS is the one line Alastor won't cross, not even using his most adorable digital face changed his mind - but Vox still wants a pet, so he agrees. No dogs.
(They haven't been together long enough for Vox to LEARN why no dogs was such a big deal, here - I kind of think that's something Alastor doesn’t talk about until they've been together for like 10-20 years).
So! They go to a pet store, and Vox immediately wants the giant dog-like shark.
(Alastor tries to say no, but Vox is like "C'mon it's not a dog!!! *insert cute anime eyes before that was even a concept* so Alastor relents).
And the poor shop employee is like, trying to figure out how to tell the fucking Radio Demon and the guy who's starting to take over all the media that they probably don't have the ability to care for the shark-dog thing. (Think, stressed PetSmart employee trying to go "No, a baby bunny isn't a good gift for Easter" except to a serial killer actively covered in blood, here. That's the visual I'm thinking of).
[side note: why do I punish poor minimum wage employees constantly, I promise I have also worked a minimum wage job working for the general public, lol]
But when the employee explains that the shark-dog thing needs a large body of water (probably ocean) to swim in often, Alastor is just like "Oh I can summon that, easily. I'll add it to the guest bedroom since Vox no longer uses it." And Vox is like, what do you MEAN that's something you can do?? You can't just drop casual lore like that at the pet store!
Alastor is like "?? Darling, what do you mean? I have a bayou in my room in the closet? A little beach isn't any more difficult."
And it turns out that when Vox moved in, Alastor told him not to go in that closet. Alastor meant it in a "don't go in there without me, because wandering in a bayou could be dangerous if you don't know where you are/how to do so safely" kind of way.
Vox, however, took it in a Bluebeard kind of way and was like, "Easy, I'm not having him murder me, so he'll be stuck with me forever. Win/win scenario, I solved the fairytale" and just assumed he DID because they're dating now.
And Alastor is left staring with the most confused smile on his face, trying to come to terms with the fact that Vox just casually accepted that he was living in a Bluebeard-like scenario, and his response was to play by the rules so he can stay with Alastor.
(They get the shark-dog. Vox names it Vark. Alastor immediately takes away his "allowed to name new things" privilege, but it's too late. It only responds to Vark).
#housewife vox#sorry i spend all my time thinking of stupid things for these idiots to do#long post#the way this is such a random reach but this is how my brain works lmao#i love their miscommunication bc its always so funny to me#just Alastor being like hey dont go in here bc it could be dangerous on your own#and vox hearing 'OH this is like Bluebeard! i can win this easy' and thinking he did bc now him and Alastor are dating#is too funny a visual for me to pass up#i realize he has vark much more later in canon but that doesn't matter to me so
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I think it speaks to the extent of regulatory capture that Teslas are even allowed on the road.
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Hades Al x Persephone Luci au by @/nekophy
#art#hazbin hotel#alastor#lucifer morningstar#radioapple#ALASTOR LOOKING AT LUCIFER INSTEAD IS KILLING ME!!!
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m(._.)m…
I’m not sure if I will be able to finish this artwork and turn it into a pillow … (ㆀ˘･з･˘)
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Almost found out
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RADIOSTATIC WEEK DAY 1: Confession 📺💜📻 teehee ✨💥✨💥✨
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First meeting
This is for the RadioStaticWeek hosting on Twitter but I'm posting this here too!
(Sorry if the plot is a bit weird, I got cringe by my own art and I'm terrible at making comics😢)
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Damn what if you told your dad he mispronounced a word during a zoom meeting and he disowned you for embarrassing him and told you you were only welcome back home if you found bigfoot so you spend three years travelling the world to find bigfoot but along the way you become friends with bigfoot and teach him how to fight so he beats up your dad for you
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she might be "your girl" but in a matter of minutes i could fumble her so catastrophically as to permanently secure a space in the hallowed halls of her memory. never forget this
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too long has gone without me posting women. here we go more yuri radiostatic
reference for voxs dress under the cut
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Day 1 and Day 2 of RadioStatic Week
First Meeting and Sharing a meal! I like the idea that Alastor is the one who approached Vox first because of how unique he looks eheh
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Radiostatic fic, where when Vox is watching the hotel prepare for the Extermination and is like “they're going to FIGHT?!” he (internally) freaks out and decides to use the opportunity to try to get a deal out of the princess of hell himself. After all, he has the tech to fight - Angelic Security - it'd be remiss of him to not offer it to the princess and raise his status over that old timey prick!
–
“Vox, you of all people know that Angelic Security shit is a scam. Get your ass back in the chair.”
“Nonsense, Velvette! It's simply…untested. And what better way to beta test its worth than by using it against a direct assault from heaven?”
“If you die, I'm taking your room.”
–
So he goes over to the hotel to offer his help.
(Vaggie tries to stab him when he asks for a deal in exchange, and he doesn't know why he's so desperate to help, so he decides to offer it free of charge).
Alastor tries to veto it entirely, citing how all of his technology is both flashy and useless, but he's outvoted by Charlie. (She doesn't trust Vox, nor does she believe in his tech, but she's not in any position to not accept help where she can get it - at worst, she figures it doesn't work and Vox abandons them).
Alastor and him ignore one another to the best of their abilities - they're both too busy (and stressed) to even really bother with their normal hostilities. The most they do are just a few snarky lines whenever they cross paths, but overall it's fine. (Vox will absolutely not admit to himself that it's kind of nice to not be at each other's throats, for once. They've even had to work together once or twice).
So now Vox is struggling to help the hotel with the oncoming assault, and convinces himself that he'll be long gone before any real danger arrives - he's only here on the off chance they survive to up the status of the Vees. (Totally no other reason).
Except. He doesn't leave the night before, and surprises even himself by showing up ready for the fight.
And the fight actually seems to be going really well! (Vox refuses to acknowledge being impressed by Alastor’s shield, even to himself).
But then. Not too long after the shield breaks, Adam appears. And Vox doesn't understand why he feels like his heart has stopped for the second time. He does his best to ignore it, but then Adam effortlessly kills Pentious and all he can think about is the same thing happening to Alastor.
(He can't die like that loser, I'm the only one allowed to kill him! There's no way that pretentious angelic prick took him down!)
When Lucifer finally arrives to take down Adam, Vox disappears. He will find Alastor, because no one but him is allowed to kill him. He refuses.
Vox finds where Alastor was injured, but with him not being there Vox knows there's only one place he'd go - his radio tower. And he's right! He finds Alastor, alive! (Vox does not admit, even to himself, the blatant relief that goes through him).
Alastor does his best to defend himself, assuming that Vox is there to end him. However, Alastor is barely functioning and despite his best efforts, Vox isn't deterred.
–
“I'm here to help you, asshole! Let me see that injury so we can fix it, and then we can try to kill each other!”
–
Vox refuses to take no for an answer, and does stitch up Alastor's injury. (Vox cannot believe Alastor even survived it).
He succeeds in closing his wound, and ends up looking like he's lost a fight to a badger - covered in scratch and bite wounds. Vox complains about it the entire time, but he's secretly relieved Alastor is alive enough to not take his help lying down.
Anyway, after his help, Alastor finally gets himself ready to return to the hotel. (When he first stands up, he falters and tries to catch himself with his staff - obviously it fails with it broken - and Vox catches him instead. They refuse to look at each other as Vox helps Alastor leave his radio tower and walk back to the hotel).
It's not until Alastor asks Vox how long before he can expect to be on the news that Vox realizes he has no intention of letting anyone know that Alastor is injured. (Alastor obviously doesn't believe him, but Vox does keep quiet about it. He doesn't even tell Charlie when Alastor does his best to keep it from her, as well).
It's not until they arrive with the brand new hotel, Lucifer being present, and everyone recovering after the failed Extermination, that Vox realizes he intends on staying at the hotel, even without his original excuse.
(He needs to make sure Alastor recovers, after all).
#hazbin hotel#alastor#vox#radiostatic#staticradio#staticlovetune#fic#mine#hazbin alastor#hazbin vox#long post
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babe wake up new jenny nicholson 4hr video
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Many years ago, I was wandering around downtown Ottawa with my best friend. We ran into a friend of his who offered us some hash (it sucked), then said there was a really good house party nearby if we wanted to go. We were like, yeah, sure. So that's how we ended up at some completely fucking random person's house.
I look around to ask if my friend knows anyone here and he's simply gone, as is his friend. And this isn't some red solo cup hangout; this is a party. There's people counting out pills on the kitchen counter. I am clearly neither as cool nor as drug-savvy as the kitchen people, so I back away and instead wander aimlessly into the living room, which seems to give off more of a chill vibe.
A bunch of people are seated in a circle on the floor. One of them is fiddling with a big wad of newspaper or something. A really cute grunge girl with piercings and tattoos scoots aside to make room for me, so I sit down.
"What's that," I ask her, gesturing at the newspaper wad.
She gets a really big smile on her face. You know the smile. It's the I'm About To Watch This Innocent Soul Get High As Fuck smile. "You've never smoked a tulip?"
"What's a tulip?" I ask.
"It's like if a joint was also a bong," she replies. "You gotta try it."
"Alright," I reply, a little uncertainly. This will not be my first encounter with weed. I am more comfortable with the janky newspaper bong than I am with whatever the fuck is going on in the kitchen. Besides, this girl is really cute and I would like to have a friend here now that my existing friend has turned into vapor or been transported to the Upside-Down or whatever the hell happened to him.
I watch as one person holds the newspaper joint-bong upright and holds a lighter over the top while another gets beneath it, tilting their head back to take a puff. Apparently smoking this Cheech & Chong monstrosity is a two-person job.
"Oh," I say, looking at the fist-sized knob at the top of the wonky newspaper joint. "Yeah, it does kinda look like a tulip." Grunge girl smiles at me.
I watch as the tulip is passed around the circle, along with the lighter, and hits are cooperatively taken. It reaches grunge girl, who takes a huge puff and holds it for an extended moment before exhaling an impressive blast of smoke. She smiles expectantly and holds the tulip up for me, preparing to spark the gigantic meteor of dank that makes up its tip. By this point I have completely forgotten about my missing friend. I only care about making a good impression on grunge girl. I tilt my head back and hit the tulip like a smokestack.
It is the following morning. I am sleeping between a couch and a wall. I'm not positive that this is the same house I was just in. My memories are gone. Someone is yelling at me: "dude! Dude! Wake up, dude!"
I sit up. My mouth tastes like cigarettes. I do not smoke cigarettes. "Wha," I ask the yelling man, who I am quite confident I have never met before in my life.
"We're going on a quest," he tells me, gravely. "You have to come with us."
I look around. Neither my friend nor his friend are anywhere in sight. I also do not see grunge girl anywhere. I shrug helplessly. "Okay."
We embark from this house. I learn that the destination of this quest is Tim Horton's. This is a relief to me, as coffee and a donut sounds really fucking good right now. Somehow, the route to Tim Horton's takes us past the Governor-General's residence, which everyone else in the group loudly heckles on the way past. I do not know what the Governor-General has done to raise their ire, nor do I particularly care. I trudge along with my hands in my pockets, pleased to note that I still have my wallet, phone, and keys. I fervently wish that I could remember anything about last night. Maybe I talked to grunge girl. Maybe she's why my mouth tastes like cigarettes. The tulip tasted nothing like cigarettes.
I am asked about my politics. I voice my frustrations with corporate corruption, the pay-to-win electoral system, the lack of transparency and accountability. This is met with great approval. The guy who was yelling at me claps me on the back. I get the impression that we became friends last night. I don't recognize his face. I do not know his name and he definitely does not know mine. I behave as though we're friends anyway. We are comrades on a quest.
By the time we make it to Tim Hortons, the gaggle of stoners I'm walking with have all run out of energy and/or attention span. People order snacks and break away in pairs or solo, to call for rides or plan the day's events or just vegetate and wait for the drugs to leave their systems. I look around and find that my nameless friend has also gone to the Upside-Down. As I wash the cigarette taste out of my mouth with coffee, I unsuccessfully try to remember whether I saw grunge girl smoking tobacco at any point. I remember nothing. That tulip was so fucking powerful that it instantly sent me a whole day forward in time.
Alone in the city, I try to call my best friend and get no answer. I walk to the nearest bus stop, catch a bus most of the way home, and call up my parents to ask for a ride back. They ask where my friend is. I tell them that I have no idea; we went to a house party and I don't remember anything else.
When they pick me up from the bus station, they ask me some very safe, nonspecific questions, and seem to relax when I describe what little I can remember. It isn't until years later that I realize they were probably terrified I'd gotten rufied or something, and were so relieved to learn otherwise that they didn't even bother chiding me for smoking myself unconscious in an effort to impress a strange woman. In any case, they were probably happy to find out that I did, in fact, like girls; I suspect they had been privately wondering whether I was gay.
After getting home, I finally manage to get my best friend to answer his phone. I discover that he tried the kitchen pills, spent most of the night crossing the entire city on foot, and crashed at his cousin's house. He sounds like shit. I tell him that he should have tried the tulip, instead. He fervently agrees with me.
I never see grunge girl again.
That's okay, though. She got to see a clueless stranger get fucked the entire way up on some ungodly strain of giga-weed, and I got smiled at by a cute girl, and then I got to go on a quest. Wherever grunge girl is, I hope she's happy. I hope she's smoking the fattest fucking blunt and smiling as some kid passes out behind a couch.
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flipping the tables at the temple is a crucial part of the run, but obviously every npc in the area will aggro on you as soon as you do it, which is a problem because the crucifixion exploit only works on a pacifist run. that's why we picked up those cords from the leatherworker earlier in the chapter. we can craft those into a whip and drive out the merchants, as long as we don't accidentally kill one of them. this is the only weapon in the game that doesn't proc the "violence" effect due to an oversight in the code, so this will essentially allow us to complete the tableflip glitch without breaking our pacifist run. once every table is flipped, the physics engine won't know how to handle it and some key values will be altered that will later allow us to clip through golgotha directly into hell-
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