Me: I'm gonna go walk Penelope and then use the bathroom, then I'll be ready
My wife: I'm gonna tinkle, myself
Me: don't tinkle yourself
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"How are you so happy?"
I wake up to this every day 💚
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Me on the phone for an hour, playing with my chubby belly: I should post pictures and/or videos for art reference
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Doing arcadegeddon on stream, currently working on a solo run to see how high up the leader board I can go. Already 1 hour in and in the 51st spot. Come hang! Chill, chat, smoke, all visitors welcome 💚
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zzzzz
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ALL YOU BOYS BOP YOUR BUSSY LIKE THIS
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Nat: How is the most beautiful person in the world?
Wanda : *blushing* I—
Yelena, butting into the conversation: Kate is perfect, thanks for asking.
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Kate , to Yelena: We had a date!
Kate : *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*
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Yelena: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Kate: Wow. They sound stupid.
Yelena: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Kate: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Yelena: I guess you’re right. Hey Kate, I love you.
Kate: See! Just say that!
Yelena: Holy fucking shit.
Kate: If that flies over their head then, sorry Yelena, but they're too dumb for you.
Yelena: Kate.
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Kate, Wanda, and Nat are sitting on a bench
Yelena: Why do you guys look so sad?
Kate: Sit down with us so we can tell you babe.
*Yelena sits down*
Wanda: The bench is freshly painted.
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