Babu

This is for you.

MEMORY LANE 101

MEMORY LANE 101

" I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you, and I choose both.

Sarah Kay

Second chances, they say, were exclusive. Once is enough, second time is too much, multiple times are stupidity. It must not always be serve, and one must pass through a thorough thinking of the drifts and possibilities, considering tons of consequences. Indeed, it has always been an intensifying clash between using mind and emotions, where you may choose one to be right, or follow one to be happy. But in our case? I chose nothing. I've chosen neither from the latter or the other part. For I know, I never have to choose between the two in the first place. Simply because I live to the thinking that choosing to be right, doesn't exclude you from the act of not doing any wrong. And being happy doesn't always mean that you'll never be lonely again. So instead, I chose you. I chose us. It was never an easy decision to make. I am fully aware that future holds no certainty, variables may come and everything may alter. But then, It's you. It's us. And It's more than enough reason for me to never be afraid of taking risk. To never get tired of giving chances. Over, and over again. For choosing you, no matter what the outcome may be, will never have a trace of regret. For choosing you, would always meant that I have chosen something I know being right and happy were nothing against of— love. By choosing you, I've chosen love, that at 20, I am more than blessed to have.

Ethel Roma Yape

and if you eventually lose your grip— please know that my hands will remain still. remember how these hands held you, when your heart needed embracing. how these hands remained soft, when the world was so hard on you. when you were at your roughest times, and only these hands could cease the war inside your head. how these hands served as your warmth, at your most fragile nights and at your toughest mornings where sunrises weren’t enough to remind you that you could always start over. please know that i will not stop reaching out to you no matter how much you clench your fists to prove the world that you could be cruel too; no matter how far you wander, no matter how lengthy the distance is, and no matter how long you’re gone. time will pass but my hands will remain still just like my love.

Isabella Anes

I remembered feeling jittery when our eyes first met – how my world started to have colors when you showed in it. I will never forget the first time you said my name – how the butterflies in my stomach almost made me throw up for fluttering too much. Imagining how our first date would be had always filled my mind – it actually felt nice creating scenarios of you and me in my head. Seeing a glimpse of you made my day, and not seeing your name on the screen of my phone kept me at bay. I knew it then that I’ve fallen in love – with your careful words, your smooth moves, soothing advises, and the idea of ‘us’. But it drastically changed when I got to know you better – when I learned how you felt lonely most of the time, I got more eager to let you feel that you’re not alone – that I’m here to keep you company. When you told me that you’ve had enough pain and heartbreaks from before, I wanted to be the person who can give you cure and remedy. You were falling apart and nobody knew – but I tried my best to be there for you. I wanted to wrap you in my loving arms and shower you with reassuring kisses to let you know that as long as I’m here, someone adores you unconditionally. I knew how vulnerable you were – you stripped your soul naked in front of me but I didn’t bother; it got me drawn closer to you instead. I craved to be your confidante – the one, who can wipe your tears away, the one who can replace your fears and doubts with self-love and self-worth. I wanted to let you feel how perfect you are – that you are wise, gentle, and kind – aside from being extremely attractive and cute. When I found myself using my mind – by trying to know ways on how I can make you feel better, telling that you deserve all the love in this world – and my heart, for feeling too much emotion dedicated only for you, I realized that I was done falling; I already love you. Being in love is the attraction – the butterflies and shallow sentiments that he/she gives you; the temporary effect that you get from the moment you knew each other. And love is the firm decision that you are devoting your heart and soul for that person, no matter how hard the situation is and in spite of all the deficiencies that he/she has a human being. And from that day on, I recognized that I love you – I can’t explain how or why, but honey, I know now – I do.

Chona Amisola

Kapag sinabi kong ikaw ang tahanan ko Sa 'yo ako uuwi kahit gaano pa kadumi dito. Kahit pa gaano kadami ang sira nito dala ng hindi pag-iingat ng mga taong naunang tumira dito. Kapag sinabi kong ikaw ang tahanan ko Tatanggalin natin ang mga alikabok, kukuskusin ang mga mantsa, at kung hindi man kaya, lalagyan natin ng pintura -- kukulayan natin ang mga binaboy nila. Kapag sinabi kong ikaw ang tahanan ko Sa 'yo ako uuwi kahit pa madalas ay madaming basag-basag na piraso sa ating sahig. Kahit pa pagpasok ko ay bubog ang unang babati sa akin. Tutulungan kitang magligpit kahit pilay-pilay pa. Aayusin ko ang sira-sira nang dahan-dahan at may pag-iingat. Kapag sinabi kong ikaw ang tahanan ko Sa 'yo ako muling uuwi pagtapos kong magpahangin sa labas dahil nauubusan na ako ng rason para manatili dito. Sayo ako uuwi kahit pa alukin ako ng kapitbahay na sa kanila muna maglibang at magpalipas ng gabi. Kapag sinabi kong ikaw ang tahanan ko Sa 'yo ako uuwi kahit paulit-ulit mong sabihin na ang pangit pangit mo at hindi ako nararapat dito. Kapag sinabi kong ikaw ang tahanan ko Dito ako matutulog kahit lumamig. Dito lang ako kahit pa masira nang paulit-ulit ang mga inaayos natin. Gagawin ko pa ring unan ang dibdib mo kahit durog-durog na, pakikinggan ko pa rin ang mga may paghapo mong paghinga, di ako magsasawang magpunas sa mga luha na tumutulo sa iyong mata. Kapag sinabi kong ikaw ang tahanan ko, iingatan kita kahit pa dumating ang araw na hindi na ako ang nakatira dito.

Kyu Shanon Matsunaga

“Here’s the thing, I can’t give you the world but you know I’d happily give all that I have if you ask me to. No, let me rephrase that, I’d give my best, you don’t need to ask because darling, even in my weakest point, you’re all I think about. Even in my ugliest state, I’d put you first. Coming from a generation of lonely hearts, I’ve seen how things were ruined because it’s almost always that when something or someone does not meet their expectations, they will look for it through someone else. My love, I know this isn’t much but I can only assure you that from the moment I decided to commit, I will try my very best to stay by your side and yes, that also means staying when there is literally just a thread to hold on to. Love is a promise, sometimes it is ugly, most days it is painful and yes often times it is not worth our trust but we can’t deny that it is indeed the best feeling there is. Now, here’s the real thing darling, I know we often fight and think that we’ve grown tired of each other but believe me when I say that a thread is enough to hold us both. That thread, is our love and even if we argue every single day in the next coming years, I will still choose to hold on to our unsteady thread than create a new one with someone else. I know for sure that love only works if two people are willing to commit fully. We don’t choose who we love let alone every single person who tries to enter our lives but we decide when to hold on and to let go. Lastly, this is me saying, I’m never gonna let you go. Not on my watch. Not in this lifetime because this is how I always perceived love.”

Trixa Lei

Kapag sinabi kong pinipili kita Ang ibig kong sabihin ay handa na akong makita ang agnas sa iyong pagkatao na sinabi mong nasunog sa iyong nakaraan. Handa na akong marinig ang kuwento ng bawat sugat at ang pangalan ng mga apoy ng sumiping sa iyong katawan. ‘Wag kang mag-alala, hindi ko titignan ang bawat peklat at pasa bilang isang magandang kalawakan dahil ang sabi mo’y hindi mo gusto ang unibersong inukit nila sa iyong katawan. Hindi ko kakabisaduhin kung saan nakaukit ang bawat sugat para lamang maiwasan itong masagi o mahawakan; hayaan mong matitigan ko ito at hawakan nang may tapang at dahan-dahan. Kapag sinabi kong pinipili kita Ang ibig kong sabihin ay handa na akong makita ang mga multong namamahay sa iyong pagkatao. Handa na akong kilalanin ang bawat isa sa kanila at makipag-usap kapag dumating ang oras na dadalawin ka nila. Handa na akong tulungan ka na paliitin ang tahanan na sa loob mo’y kanilang binuo, at piliin ka nang paulit-ulit kapag hinihila nila ako papunta sa kanilang mundo. Handa na akong sumagot ng «ayoko» kapag sinubukan nila akong akitin o kumbinsihin na sumapi sa kanila. Kapag sinabi kong pinipili kita Ang ibig kong sabihin ay handa na ako sa takot – handa na ako sa bagyo, sinanay ko na ang aking sarili sa ulan, handa na ako sa kulog at kidlat, handa na akong maputikan – handa na ako sa mga bagay na maaaring nating masubukan. Kapag sinasabi kong pinipili kita Ang ibig kong sabihin ay handa na akong titigan ka sa salamin habang iniisa-isa mo ang mga pangit sa iyong paningin. Handa na akong ulit-ulitin sa ‘yo ang mga rason kung bakit kita pinili at kung bakit kita palaging pipiliin.

Kyu Shanon Matsunaga