hatemeifyoucan - Tumblr blog

hatemeifyoucan · 5 days

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Don't I know that I wasted my life?

Don't you ever think that perhaps its not my choice?

Perhaps I've tried to hold onto it,

Perhaps I tried my best,

And that it was never enough.

X X X

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hatemeifyoucan · 14 days

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POV: You're juggling life between your reading and your studying

(pictures from pinterest. Credit to the owners)

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hatemeifyoucan · 15 days

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POV: You're juggling life between your reading and your studying

(pictures from pinterest. Credit to the owners)

#romantisize study #studying #online studying #study aesthetic #study moodboard #gilmore girls #studyblr #study with me #uni life #student #Reading #reading aesthetic #reading a book

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hatemeifyoucan · 18 days

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Day 16/100 days of Productivity

24th April, 2024

Academia

Vectors lecture slides reading: 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th

Did DPP 1 of Vectors which had integration questions too and got 35/40 marks.

Did DPP 2 of Vectors, 9 questions correct and 4 questions incorrect- 32/52 marks. (also watched solution videos for incorrect Qs)

Mole concept lecture slides studying: 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th

Did DPP 1 of Mole Concept and got 62/72 marks.

Read through lecture slides and short notes of Morphology of flowering plants: 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th

Watching locomotion and movement 3D one shot.

Solutions lecture slides: 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th

Thermodynamics lecture slides: 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th

Non Academia

I read a 230 pages romcom before 12 pm on 23rd. 💀 Help me. I'm addicted to romance and I'm waiting for my book boyfriend and studying and listening to music. Not doing anything since I tried online dating- 💀💀

When times are hard, I turn back to God and to Seventeen.

Day 15

Day 17

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hatemeifyoucan · 24 days

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100 Days of Holistic Self Care Challenge

Challenge and self care, both these things sound a bit counterproductive together but I think this combination can bring immense growth to my life. I don't think I'd get certain things done unless I challenge myself to. I'm nudging myself to be more mindful and present and calmer. It's about my whole life, my body, my fears, my bravery, everything. I got inspired by @thelastneuron, @mindfulstudyquest and a few others I'm forgetting at the moment.

I'm going through a very stressful time right now and my mental health is in pieces. So here we go.

So here is a list of things that I am going to do in this challenge, it's gonna be

an everyday thing,

one time thing,

a thought I need to revisit, or

something else that I need.

You are veryyyy welcome to join anytime you want. It's alright if you don't wanna join too. This challenge is about comfort but also doing the best for oneself.

I'll be updating the list and adding and taking out certain things. You guys can recommend me things too.

Everyday things:

Waking up before 8 am.

Taking a bath within an hour of waking up.

Eating food/breakfast only after taking a bath.

Prayers/mantra before at every action.

1 hour without any stimulation.

Go for a 30 minutes walk everyday.

Skincare before going to sleep.

No stimulation/media 30 minutes before going to sleep.

If I start a task, I'm going to finish it no matter what.

One time things:

Social Media DETOX for a week. (no instagram, no tumblr, no whatsapp, no youtube, no spotify)

No stimulation for a whole day. (no spotify, no social media, no tv)

Thoughts to revisit (journal-ish):

How am I feeling? Am I feeling tired? Why am I feeling tired? Are you okay, Tanishka? Are you fine? What made you sad? What made you tick? How do you feel about feeling this way?

Were you brave today? Did you do something that was out of your comfort zone? Did you conquer your fears? How did you feel when you did conquer your fears?

Are you feeling worthy today? Are you feeling like you deserve your dreams? Why do you feel that you don't? Why do you feel that you do? Prove to yourself that you do.

Did you make any mistakes towards yourself or towards others today? If you did its okay, it's fine. Think about it but this thought, or this action doesn't define you. You are maleable, you are the one who can fold themselves into whoever you wanna be.

I'll be starting this today. Good luck to anyone else who wants to join. You can start your own challenge or join in on mine. Have a beautiful day.

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hatemeifyoucan · 26 days

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Day 13/100 days of Productivity

15th-16th April, 2024

Academia

I finished cockroach lecture and I can confidently say, I'm very good at it now. Haha, yes!

I watched half of a lecture on Atomic structure.

Revising a few questions from Solids that I forgot to yesterday.

Read over cockroach and frog notes.

I did something else too but I got lazy and forgot to update it here.

Non Academia

Watched a few parts of a bunch of Claire Nakti videos.

I also watched this video and in here he talks about syntopical reading. I really like the method he's talking about and I've used that before too. But I'll take anything at this point, so I'm gonna try it now.

20 days of April breaking the cycle - 3/20

I basically took a break of a whole day, half a day on 15th and other half on 16th. It was theraupatic, it was fun. I enjoyed it. But now what do I do? There are 17 days left in my exam. I shouldn't take any more breaks. But....I'm not really as worried (i should be). I've unlocked a new level of metaphorical debauchery when it comes to my studies.

-Tanishka.

Day 12

Day 14

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hatemeifyoucan · 29 days

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Day 11/100 days of Productivity

12th-13th April, 2024

Academia

I watched a video on Concentration terms from a JEE channel to learn a trick. It's at around 50:00.

I watched this video on questions on Concentration terms but its not really NEET related.

I learnt about Frog from quick video lessons on Unacademy X. I also did around 20 questions, not enough though.

Watched about 25 minutes of this lecture on frog until the hyperrealistic amphibian actually came on the screen. I'll have to finish this tomorrow. The lecture is actually really amazing.

Watched 1 hour of physics lecture on Solids.

I did about 56 questions of Biology but couldn't count the correct-incorrect questions.

I did about 40-50 questions from different chapters in biology from the book that I was practicing from but haven't completed any chapters yet.

Watched 41 minutes of a lecture on Molecular Biology.

Watched a few short video lectures of Chemical Equilibrium on Unacademy X.

Non Academia

I started watching Era's tours. Watched 15 minutes of it only. It's 3.5 hours long. I'm gonna watch it either when I'm taking a long break or when I'm done with my exams.

Watched this video on game theory. Very fascinating. How being nice, but not a doormat is the best strategy you can have long term. This video was basically an introduction to game theory for me.

I'm also taking part in 20 days of April breaking the cycle challenge of @thelastneuron so, it's day 1/20 (technically its day 1/18).

Kharbuja season is here.

A lot of things happened on 12th, and the only thing i can share is that it was my periods and i just sat watched tv for the whole evening. But its fine. I'll have to compensate for that today.

I'm gonna try to give better than my best in this new challenge started by my friend. Since, it's about breaking a cycle, I'm gonna go out and break the cycle of mediocrity in my efforts. Lets do this!

-Tanishka.

Day 10

Day 12

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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Day 10/100 days of Productivity

11th April, 2024

Academia

Finished this video of Cell which is basically prokaryotic cells.

Watched a revision video of Evolution. These short videos are really organised and very good for a quick revision.

Read up a bit on the introduction of Periodicity and Periodic Table.

Watched a video on Electronic Configuration. Just revising the concept.

Watched a short video on atomic orbitals. Hoping to do Chemical Bonding tomorrow.

I need to do a Concentration terms video but I didn't do it today.

Non Academia

Watched this video of AI showing how people might have spoken the ancient languages. It's so fascinating. I don't know how true it is but its amazing to look at.

Had a fun but tiring day today. It was my Papa's birthday and my younger brother came back home from Delhi since he didn't have many classes. We had a blast, except that after that we kinda had a fight. 😂 I also made a new friend. @thelastneuron a mention to you and our almost never ending and very fun chats. All my love. ❤️ | By the way, the 2nd picture is actually from a music video and the music video is a masterpiece, it's beautiful, the message is thought proving. You guys should give it a listen.

-Tanishka.

Day 9

Day 11

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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Day 9/100 days of Productivity

10th April, 2024

Academia

To brush up my concepts ever better, I watched this short video on Adrenal Gland and read its part from the NCERT.

Watched these short videos on Population density and Age Pyramids. This topic was on my mind for quite long. Feels good to satiate my curiosity.

Did another NCERT line by line video on Cell. Haven't finished it yet, got 45 minutes to do.

I did about 15 questions on Mole concept, I know its not a lot but took me enough time. This particular chapter is almost unmanageable.

I feel like I'm forgetting something else that I did today and decided to update this list after that and now I can't remember. Haha

Non Academia

I dont usually like going astray from my usual format for these posts. But this video and this youtube channel is the best channel I ever saw! They're gods gift to youtube honestly. ❤️ I often see ambience video with all sound, all ambience but no people, which turns me off because I work better when I show off (I know that's not a good trait haha, but accountability would be a better word) and this makes me feel like I'm sitting there with them. And this is honestly DREAM LIBRARY AMBIENCE.

youtube

There's another video I really really like, and its of Starbucks. Just puts me into that working hard mindset. Lovely. 💗

I did keep a fast yesterday. But not today, I get hungry at every 2 hours. Though, I'm gonna follow similar eating habits as yesterday, since they're healthier. And its better to have a bunch of dry fruits instead of Maggi. Though I wanna have some Maggi. | Today is one of those days, where I'm feeling like I'm doomed. Like all my efforts are fruitless. But I dont wanna end anything at a hopeless note. And its just 2:43 pm right now, I've got the whole day, I can still make it happen. | Its raining here🌧️☔ I love rains.

Day 8

Day 10

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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Study Tip #2

How to not be overwhelmed by the vastness of your study syllabus?

I used to look at my one subject and get excited, but then I'd look at the another and another and another. And I'd get so excited to study that I wouldn't even want to study anymore. It felt like something that's too much to be done in the current moment. Or even in the whole day, week, month or year.

The way I fought through this is by sheer willpower. I do not exactly know of a hack. What I've done could be called a hack, because it worked for me perfectly but it takes a lot of will power that, let me tell you, you're definitely capable of.

Few steps that I used to not let myself feel overwhelmed before studying:

1: Let yourself actually feel overwhelmed. Don't get scared of it, don't shy away from it. Accept it. Whatever thoughts come to your mind, accept it. That's why I'm telling you to have some time set aside to analyse the syllabus. All of it. And when you do get overwhelmed, take a break, go for a walk and come back with the decision of doing what's in point 2.

Example:Lets say you have 15 chapters of English, 10 Chapters of Chemistry and 20 chapters of Biology. All of them are a little complex and lengthy. Go through the textbook, or the contents to atleast familiarise yourself with it all.

2: Now that you have good understanding of your syllabus, you must have atleast mentally broken it down into various parts. Now pick a part that you can do.

Example:Lets say you have picked up Cell Cycle from biology or you've picked up learning about particular poem from English or you've picked up Periodic Table from chemistry.

3: Often times we overestimate our boundaries specially if we're doing something for the first time, or after a long time. So, if you're panicking because you weren't able to finish the task you put for yourself (point 2), it's alright. You did great. Even if you have done is thousands times before, it's alright. Give yourself atleast 3-5 tries before judging yourself. That means, wait for the next 3-5 tasks. You'd likely be able to completely atleast 1 of them. How?

Example: Now, you realised that you weren't able to finish studying the whole chapter in a day. You're panicking but hold on, darling, let's take a deep breath, focus and will yourself to stay strong. Now, take one of these, let's say the cell cycle, break it down- 1. Read the contents of the chapter in text book.

2. Look at the diagrams, understand them, make them.

3. Read one topic at a time, let's say, Mitosis.

4. Do the questions of Mitosis.

5. Go to the next thing.

4: This time while setting how big or small that task should be, think about your last boundary: were you able to just scratch the line of the surface or were you far behind? And then set your next goal or task according to that.

One of the very important things to remember is that you shouldn't lose your hope. Everything is do-able. You just need to perhaps look at it for the 2nd or 3rd time. But you can do it.

- Tanishka.

Pictures from pinterest. Credit to the owners.

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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Day 8/100 days of Productivity

9th April, 2024

Academia

Did my basic math revision sheet. Got all those things right which I used to get wrong, but got those wrong which were right in past revisions. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I did 98 questions of Chemical Coordination and 77 of them were correct and 21 of them were incorrect.

I really like such quality short videos which are rare on the Indian science scene when all I see is 40 minute long lectures😭😭. I watched this video on law of definite proportions. (Fun fact: this law states that any chemical compound will have the same ratio of mass of the elements wherever you find them.)

Did the next 30% of ncert line by line video on Chemical Coordination with my NCERT textbook.

Made a revision sheet for Mole concept and did some questions.

Watched a video to get clearer on calcium homeostasis.

My goal for this week is to complete 10 Chapters of Chemistry and atleast 15 Chapters of Biology. And Physics lectures daily.

Non Academia

Watched this video on thinking errors that we all have and its based on Thinking Fast and Slow by David Kahneman. I should read that book. What's fascinating is that I saw an article a few days ago where David Kahneman says that he failed to follow his own advice.

This video essay on Machiavelli where the narrator said that its dangerous to subscriber to Machiavellian ideas but its also dangerous to completely ignore them. Which is so true and so wonderful. Overall, it is a very beautiful introduction to who was Machiavelli and what his ideas originally were.

Today is the first day of Nau Devi (नवरात्रि). Today is Goddess Shailputri's day. Shailputri (शैलपुत्री) is the daughter of the mountains. We keep a fast on the 9 days but since it's exam time, I'll only be keeping a fast on 1st and last day. Also, it's my first time keeping a fast during Nau Devi. | Good day, it was. Very peaceful. Nowadays bhakti has been bringing me so much peace. I got up earlier today and took a bath before 7 am, which is new for me. And I'd be doing this for the next 8 days, hopefully forming a habit. I feel cleansed.

- Tanishka.

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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Day 7/100 days of Productivity

8th April, 2024

Academia

Listened to a podcast on Plant Kingdom. I realized how much of the chapter I actually know and how much I dont.

Watched a video on learning oxidation states of P-Block elements.

I had watched this one in hurry last time and I regret not paying attention. But time, I'm actually sitting down with my NCERT while studying NCERT line by line video on Chemical Coordination from yt. Finished 70% of it today.

I spent a good deal of time on first few Methods of preparations of Alkanes while looking for the right video from youtube to learn the chapter from.

I did a few questions from the living world but not enough to count correct and incorrect questions.

Non Academia

Decoding of one of the best songs Bollywood has produced - Kun Faya Kun. I'm immensely fascinated by sufism. And how music in India plays its role in bringing everyone together.

Another song decoded by the way same person, and his channel is a blessing by the way, Laal Ishq. One of the most beautiful songs out there.

I've often been scared of imperfection, but learning half of a topic/chapter veryyyy nicely helps you learn the other half which didn't make sense before. What I mean is, doing one thing at a time. | Tanishka is doomed. I just realized that I need to take tons and tons of lectures of Organic and Physics. | I heard that there's a possibility of my exam getting postponed. I'm gonna manifest that. Even though its tiring, but I want to prolong my struggle just the appropriate amount.

-Tanishka.

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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Study Tip #1

How to remember stuff for a long period of time?

Firstly, you should know that our brain is very adept at forgetting things it doesn't consider necessary for its survival and it fails to understand that excelling our exams are veryyyy important for our survival.

So, what you need is revision of your subject matter over and over again, over a period of time.

How to achieve that though?

Flashcards are often used for achieving this technique but to be honest, for a very vast syllabus Flashcards get quite overwhelming. So I created REVISION SHEETS for myself. It's the same thing as flashcards but it encompasses a few other techniques that makes the vastness of the topics a little easy to control and comprehend.

I make them two ways: one is completely random, with information important to remember but from various different topics. And another is by making mindmaps.

And in both of these things, I add information in QnA format. Easy.

Step by Step guide to revision sheets:

Firstly, I'd advise you to read/understand a chapter/topic through a lecture, a youtube video or a textbook. Atleast have a basic understanding of the concepts.

Check the major headings or the major sub-topics.

Start plotting the mindmap roughly, by Sub-topics and how and where you'll put them for better understanding.

Now, when you're writing content, put it all in QnA format, especially HOW you want you remember the information.

There, done.

Just make sure to use that sheet to revision at good intervals of time.

You can, of course, make changes to this process. But this is what I've done for my revision work.

[Also, I am not sure if someone else might not have already thought of this idea. Though, I don't think such study tips have any copyright but I'm just putting out there that if it resembles something that others have used/talk about online, then it's because we both thought of the same thing. And you'll too probably to solve your study problems. So all the best, let's all work hard and find our happiness.]

-Tanishka

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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Day 6/100 days of Productivity

7th April, 2024

Academia

I did 142 questions of Reproductive Health. Out of which 115 were correct and 27 were incorrect.

I made a revision sheet for Alkanes. Today, my studying is moving too slow.

I did 25 questions of Basic Chemistry today.

I revised P-Block notes, before doing the questions. And the questions, I'll probably do them tomorrow.

I watched a video on animal kingdom. It was a fast revision video and really really helped me.

Non Academia

I finished watching Jane Austen's life story while having some pasta.

I watched this really cool video on South Asian- South East Asian history.

Sundays are always so slow. Sometimes its fun to have slow Sundays, while sometimes it ends up wrecking with your schedule. I love my weekday schedule specially when I'm focused on something like I'm nowadays, with my exam approaching next month. And honestly, I really cherish my time I spend with my parents on thier day off from thier work, but that also ends up affecting my productivity, I'll spend as much as time with them as possible after my exams. I keep thinking that I should have accomplished twice as much today. But its fine. One thing about productivity I've learnt is that, it never comes when its doer is berated by themselves.

-Tanishka.

Day 5

Day 7

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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Day 5/100 days of Productivity

6th April, 2024

Academia

I did an organic named reaction trick video. I'll be making revision sheets for these too.

Listened to a podcast of Organisms and Populations.

Just watched a 3 minute video of DNA to protein and I'm so grateful because of the animation and because I'd overwhelm myself tremendously trying to learn the whole concept.

This is so cool and a lifesaver. Literally, tons of pages of notes are made into a 3 and a half minute video of DNA replication. (Fun fact: DNA polymerase can only add DNA fragments from 5' to 3' end.)

Another one on DNA sequencing. Today, I don't feel like studying by myself. I don't wanna work my brain. 😭

I studied a lot today. But I dont know why it feels like I didn't study at all. But its okay, tomorrow will be a better day.

Non Academia

Watched 10 minutes of this documentary on Jane Austen.

Watched another TRS podcast on ancient Indian history and science. Very amazing, very fascinating. Learnt how our scriptures must be hiding so much information.

My studies always happen best when I'm freely sitting on my bed or on the floor with my books infront of me and hyperfocusing on the subject matter because I have my exams soon.

-Tanishka.

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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A rant I sent to my friends a week ago to share my frustration :

How life can so easily turn into a barren road, where you don't see people, you only hear them. And these voices are all in your head. They could be real, they could be fake, they could be straightforward, they could be exaggerated. Its funny how your dreams of graduer, of success, of satisfaction, of happiness turn into a tiny stream of water that's ready to get out of your eyes at any moment someone asks you "_kya hua?_".

Who would I be without the completion of what I thought was always mine? It runs in my veins, it runs in my blood, it does a damn marathon in my mind. I know one thing for sure, I'm not like other kids, I'm worse. But I'm subtly worse, which is definitely the worst. Because when you're bad, loudly, you get attention, your pain has sympathy, your fears are relatable, your cries have people either wanting to soothe you or wanting to shut you up.

But good for others, I'm already shut up. I don't speak enough, coz all thats happened is not enough to speak about it. Once in a while, during a grand tragedy, I finally get a chance to weave my thoughts into tangible words. It sucks. But nothing is better I'm told. But my goodness, the grass does look greener on the other side. Perhaps because it's nourished with the tears of a loud cry. But I dont wanna break down. Do I think I'm strong because I try not to break down? Do you think I'm strong? I'm not, I'm fragile. I'm barely holding myself. My roots are strong though, I'm just a tiny blade of grass and what a lovely job my roots are doing while holding me upright. Though I do end up swaying. I hate that. I wanna be focused, I wanna be clear. And some would argue that I am. But not enough, some would argue that. There's never an argument that satisfies everybody. But really what do I wanna be?

There's so much self pity lounging in my mind that I think I'll need a month to sort through it. To clean it and discard it. But I dont have a month. Am I having pre exam anxiety? Like hundreds of people out there. I sometimes hate it when people mention that I'm not the only one. I know. That's the problem. That's the only problem. That my struggles aren't enough. I need to feel more pain. संघर्ष

To feel like I can stand up against them all in this fight. And its so easy and that's why its so brutal. And I've never worked hard enough to get whatever I want. But have I really not? Or have I just gaslighted myself? Am I really as terrible even after trying? Is it really just my mistake? Is there really a problem with my mind? Is it really me? Only me? Am I the only thing that's wrong with me?

Why am I not like others? I haven't given years to something and succeeded. But I have given years and failed. And I'm really on the verge of falling down, right when the marathon is about to end. Why am I not disciplined enough? Why am I not genius enough? I started working hard since day one but I haven't worked hard enough. Never enough, never enough, never enough. Wish this phrase was like the word impossible. The more you chant it, the more it says just the opposite.

I still have a lot bottled up but this is not the right time to share anymore. If you've reached here, don't reply to me, just share your favorite quote.

- Tanishka.

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hatemeifyoucan · 1 month

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Day 4/100 days of Productivity

5th April, 2024

Academia

I did 157 questions of Biological Classification. Out of which were 112 correct and 45 were incorrect. There were 229 questions in total, but I couldn't finish them all.

Finished 2 lectures, 2 hours each of Mechanical Properties of Solids. I also read the notes after every 30 minutes of content to remember all of the formulas and relations.

I did an NCERT based flashcards study of Biodiversity and Conservation. There were around 93 flashcards but I did it twice so that it atleast feels to me that I learnt something.

I made a revision sheet of the points I couldn't remember in Biodiversity and Conservation.

Revised biology revision sheets.

Read short notes module of zoology for my test on Sunday.

I'm planning on making short notes of my chemistry content and just revise it everyday. The biggest struggle isn't solving questions, it's remembering the houseful of information.

I'm unable to bring myself to study Organic Chemistry. It's just sooo lengthy and I'd also need as much time to stamp it on my mind as it does to have and understand the material.

I'll also start doing previous year questions, so that I can just be prepared. I realized that what I need for my exam is an extensive revision of all the content matter in the week before my exam.

[I need to share this: I was doing questions about bacteria and had a question on mycoplasma,if the statement's true or false, and I read "mycoplasma is the smallest and way less living organism" instead of wall less. And its so funny to me🤣🤣]

Non Academia

Watched another Mina Le video about how fashion is often discriminatory towards older women. I think that the more we entertain the idea of being scared of aging, the more we're pushing ourselves into a prison we might not be able to get out of. I mean, is aging scary because you have wrinkles and saggy skin or is aging scary because you're body isn't functioning well enough? Or both? I'm just tired of our looks gaining more attention in the battle against aging.

Watched first half of this video, it's a documentry on Ankor Wat.

We need to realise, especially when we're entangling ourselves into this web of pursuit of success and academic validation, that our everyday live, our fun, our happiness, our rest, are all important. We need to stop ourselves from almost being on the brink of our limits, from falling down out of hopelessness. We do that by attaching ourselves to the present.

Look at the sun, look at the trees. Feel the cool air of your A.C. or your fan. Sit still, eat with patience. Don't try to run when you're doing something which is non productive enough. To give your best at something, you'd need good rest to have enough energy to do your best.

- Tanishka.

Day 3

Day 5

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