ENFP: I have strong feelings for you INTJ: *playing along* aww INTJ: just to be clear, positive or negative?

ENTJ: complete these tasks by the end of the day ENTP: there are so many! ENTJ: then start working ENTP: this is a violation of human rights ENTJ: are you sure you are even human

ISFJ: I can’t believe that INTP and ENTP are mopping the floors INFP: they were planning to have a race between their hotwheels on a smoother floor *in the living room* ENTP: *dancing with a mop* minimise the friction~ INTP: *singing along* build up the acceleration~

ENTJ: all of you need to pay attention and work together so we can complete this successfully ENTP: you know I have a short attention span INTJ: I can’t work with them INTP: what’s the point of success ENTJ: it’s amazing what you guys can come up with with just one sentence from me

ENTP: WE’VE JUST PULLED OFF THE GREATEST BANK HEIST OF THE CENTURY! ESTP: BOW DOWN BEFORE US YOU FUCKERS Police officer, locking them in jail: would you two shut up for once

INFP: are you an arsonist ENTP: no INFP: are you a professional arsonist ENTP: yes

ENTP: I have a good sense of humour INTP: we are in a funeral

ISFJ: whenever INTP says something weird, we’ll stop him INTJ: ok INTP: the reason the heart is located in the upper section of the body must be because it’s easier to stab INTJ: you have a point ISFJ: INTJ what did I just say INTJ: but he has a point

INTP: you are not alone INFP: that’s uplifting INTP: on your skin there are millions of microbes willing to stay around for you INFP: *sobbing* beautiful

INTP: *looks down at his bacon and eggs arranged in a smiley face* why is my breakfast like this? INFJ: oh ENFP and ENTP made breakfast today. They like to tell everyone how they feel about them by doing so ENFJ: *looks at a sun-shaped bacon and eggs* Aww thanks! INTJ: *looks at his food arranged in six-pack abs* wow

ENTJ: what is INTJ doing? ENTP: oh he drank seven cups of coffee and is now hyper ENTJ: by talking to himself while doodling suspiciously satanic symbols all over the walls? ENTP: well if it worries you that much... *takes out his phone and calls INTP* would you mind coming over here? ENTJ: i never thought INTP would be skilled at comforting people ENTP: hm? oh no, you are mistaken. I called INTP so we can discuss our thoughts, you know, the more the merrier

INFJ: what's the weirdest thing you've every told yourself INTP: I'm a human INFJ: you think you aren't...? INTP: that's what i said

Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.

—Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

INTP: what do you think happens after death INTJ: that's a mystery only we alone would know the answer to when we are in that state INTP: *getting excited* so it's like a private scientific discovery INTJ: *also getting excited* ...do you think they have laptops and papers in the afterlife? *thirty minutes later* ENTJ: *walks in* you guys really need counselling INTJ: you really think that would work? INTP: *tying a noose* it's for science

ENFJ: What's the most horrifying thing you've ever seen? INFJ: *shudders* INTP's search history INTP: ok... why?

ENTP: *before closing the door* if I don’t come out after five minutes, assume I’m dead ENTJ: *slams into the door and locks it* ENTP: *in a muffled voice* you’re literally on the other side of the globe how the hell did you get here so fast