noir-renard - Tumblr blog

noir-renard · 6 hours

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When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

#i was just thinking of this video 🥰

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noir-renard · 11 hours

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war and murder are awful. killing another human being is a horrible thing to do. swords and guns are cool as fuck. these two beliefs exist simultaneously in my mind and do not conflict at all

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noir-renard · 11 hours

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happy 100th birthday to the humble caesar salad

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noir-renard · 11 hours

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New Crow Time! And it's a CROWMANCE update to boot!

As always, you can support my work on Patreon! And get shiny crow merch on our store.

I'm going to be at MCAF in Montreal the weekend of May 24-25-26! I will have crow plushies and new merch. Come say hi!

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noir-renard · 11 hours

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do you ever think “ogggghhhh narrative parallels that’s crazy” when you’re experiencing your real life

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noir-renard · 11 hours

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let's see which will be faster, your sword or my tongue

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #yoo joonghyuk #kim dokja

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noir-renard · 13 hours

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i recommend every history student to play the appropriate assassin’s creed game before starting to learn about a subject bc it makes everything 10000% funnier like. hey. i know this guy. he had an unresolved yet undeniable homoerotic sexual tension with my favorite video game man. what’s he doing here.

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noir-renard · 13 hours

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california quails they’re unforgettable. small and round, black feather on top.

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noir-renard · 13 hours

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Mr Jonny Sims sir, who is Rosie named after? Because I try to google her last name and all it shows up is house of leaves

Look, man, cards on the table, I don't remember what surname I gave Rosie. The wiki says Zampano, so I guess, yeah, I gave her the name of the fictional writer in House of Leaves.

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noir-renard · 13 hours

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noir-renard · 13 hours

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Jane Austen: so, you go to Mr Collins' house and Elizabeth is there alone. She welcomes you politely, but she looks---troubled.

Colonel Fitzwilliam: and of course she does, after everything I said to her-

Fitzwilliam Darcy: do I sense if she is mad at me specifically of it is just her headache?

Jane Austen: roll an Investigation Check.

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *grimacing* it's a three.

Jane Austen: just her headache.

Caroline Bingley: *derisively* she only looks like she wants to stab you, Darcy.

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *shrugs* I guess I am too nervous to really give her a proper look.

Jane Austen: what do you do next?

Fitzwilliam Darcy: well, I-I tell her, "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

Jane Austen: Elizabeth blushes. She is absolutely stunned.

Georgiana Darcy: that is good, right? Right?

Fitzwilliam Darcy: I tell her that even if her family is--not ideal-

Charles Bingley: *making a face*

Caroline Bingley: *playfully disgusted frown* and I made my character romance you?

Fitzwilliam Darcy: -and I might be acting impulsively, I just have to let her know that I love her. That's it.

**Silence**

Jane Austen: *smacks her lips* okay-

Charles Bingley: *histerical laughter* I don't like the way you said it-

Colonel Fitzwilliam: it's an immediate natural one, yes? Please tell me it's immediate.

Georgiana Darcy: shhhh!

Jane Austen: give me a Persuasion Check-let me tell you, you have to roll very high.

Fitzwilliam Darcy: figures-very well-

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *beat*

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *flatly* natural one.

Colonel Fitzwilliam: JUSTICE!

Jane Austen: *claps her hands* you make your grand love confession, but Elizabeth stops you and immediately rejects you.

Fitzwilliam Darcy: ouch.

Jane Austen: she tells you that she could never marry the person that hurt her sister and destroyed Wickham's future-

Fitzwilliam Darcy: *dawning horror* I had forgotten they had talked, fuck-

Jane Austen: and, finally-

Charles Bingley: there is more? He is already dead-

Jane Austen: Elizabeth looks at you dead in the eye and says: "From the very beginning—from the first moment, I may almost say—of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry."

Fitzwilliam Darcy: damn.

Caroline Bingley: *dying of laughter under the table*

Charles Bingley: I do not know if I can resurrect you after that.

Georgiana Darcy: I knew it, I should have given you Bardic Inspiration-

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noir-renard · 14 hours

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TOOK FOREVER BUT SOOOOOO WORTH IT!

aka mY IDEAL BATFAM UNIVERSE TYVMUCHBYEEE

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noir-renard · 14 hours

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one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.

15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said “me and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any time”

so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like “oh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cows” and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.

thank you cow couple

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noir-renard · 14 hours

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Fandom friends, we have won the battle (although we definitely did not win the war).

Yesterday, I wrote this post about lore.fm, an AI scraping app that was being marketed as an accessibility tool. Now, the person that has been promoting this app decided, in the light of plenty of backlash, to backtrack and pull it down, as they "feel uncomfortable" with how authors reacted to it.

Of this video, it's very important to highlight a couple of things:

the video is 3 long minutes of guilt-tripping: she keeps repeating that her (and her team, whose existence wasn't disclosed until yesterday: this app was marketed as being a sole woman's pet project) wanted to do good and create an accessibility tool. This comes with the underlying layer that all the authors who rightfully decided to defend their creations are ableist and in the wrong. It's a manipulation tactic;

there is no acknowledgement of the fact that the app was created by a team that specifically works to create apps that generate AI stories;

there is no explanation as to where the money to fund this app is coming from, and we all know that, when you're not paying for the product, you are the product;

this is backtracking, not genuine conversation: since the other day, the videos promoting this app went viral on r/Ao3, and plenty of people began contacting [email protected] to ask for their works to not be included. Then, the news spread on Tumblr too. They originally thought they could get away with "legally" stealing as much material as possible, and had to cut the project short because authors were doing everything in their power to stop them. The decision to take the app off for "reassessment" doesn't come from the goodness of their hearts.

At this point of the conversation, I think it's clear that the entirety of the project was relying on the perceived naïveté of fanfic readers and writers, who are oftentimes seen and stereotyped as being silly teens and not adults with real jobs and real knowledge of the law. When they saw dozens, if not hundreds, of authors contacting them to ask their works to not be featured, some of them threatening legal consequences, they had no other choice but to backtrack.

For now, the issue is closed, but don't think it'll be forever. Know your rights, even if you're "just" a fic author, and defend yourself and your works too from these scummy companies that see us as nothing but machines that churn out material for them to steal and profit off of with no consequences.

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noir-renard · 14 hours

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come on dude

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noir-renard · 14 hours

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The toadstools grew in a perfect ring the width of a child’s hula hoop.

They were upside down and clinging to the ceiling like stalactites.

“I have concerns,” she said.

“So do I,” they said. “If I step under it, does it count as stepping into a fairy circle? I mean, if a plane flies over a fairy circle it doesn’t count as stepping into it, but do the same rules apply if you’re walking under a fairy circle?”

“Right.”

“Actually, what is the area of effect for a fairy circle? Is it like a sphere that has the same circumference of the circle, so if I just duck underneath it I’ll be fine? Or is it a cylinder? How far up does the cylinder go? Or down, in this case.”

“Right.”

“Some of the many mysteries of the fey we may wonder about forever.”

They continued to stare up at the ring of toadstools. Thoughtful seconds ticked by.

“See, my concerns are mostly about how much moisture you have in your room.”

“Sorry?”

“You have mushrooms growing out of your ceiling.”

“Oh.”

She patted their back with sympathetic pity. “I appreciate that you live in a world of whimsy and delight, and I don’t want to squash that because I love you, but I also really don’t want you to die of black mold.”

“She’s right, you know,” said the goblin sitting upside down in the circle.

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noir-renard · 16 hours

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He was just tryna chill :(

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