Last Seen Blogs
pleasantheartfun
Untitled
skquill
I Climb Till The Entire Sun Shines On My Face
challiwcll
say it to my face.
angeryphil
embrace the yiff
anime20217
Anime Wallpaper
Text
@asiandramanet december bingo: comfort
wishing the happiest of holiday seasons to @yeo-rims!!!
75 notes
·
View notes
Photo
289 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is my take on the initial episodes of queen of tears: so, um. hyunwoo’s reaction to haein dying. a lot of people were immediately put off by it and dropped the drama, calling him an asshole. i wouldn’t say the reaction wasn’t a little uncomfortable to watch as a viewer, but that’s only the case if you’ve never put yourself in the shoes of someone suffering immensely from a dysfunctional relationship.
the lack of overt affection was destroying him because his wife is so closed off and would rather care for him in a way that is impossible to be acknowledged by him, she humiliated him in front of his employees and he had to respond w “yes, ma’am” despite not agreeing w her bc she’s his boss, she didn’t stand up for him vocally when her family was berating him to no end, plus the family made him do their household chores against his will. he had to walk on eggshells around them, especially his wife.
it was so bad that there were multiple scenes where his hands were clenched together, trembling. he went to therapy and got strong anxiety meds prescribed in return. this abysmal marriage was crippling him emotionally and mentally (it’s safe to say haein put him through emotional abuse, even if she didn’t intend to affect him that way)
his initial plan was to divorce haein because he couldn’t take it any longer, even if it meant his multimillionaire father-in-law was going to stab him in the back (figure of speech). in fact, he preferred being stabbed over having to face the vengeance of the hong family.
the “window fantasy” isn’t fictional. there are multiple women, unwillingly dependent on their narcissistic husbands (not only bc they can’t go anywhere since their working opportunities have been sabotaged but also bc a bad rep will follow them if they leave or don’t yield to their husbands; tldr: there are consequences to leaving), that have wanted to be widowed at some point bc they couldn’t bear the trauma of the marriage. growing up in a south asian society, i know a thing or two about being stuck in traumatic marriages and the only way being out is if your partner somehow dies.
no one would invalidate an abuse victim if they wanted their abuser to die. so, are these women any different just bc they agreed to the marriage when their partner swore to carry out their commitment? only to find out none of their needs are being met and they’re stuck? are they not being abused?
so, people, to an extent, DO justify it when women want their toxic husbands to die because of terrible life situations.
now, back to QoT. i saw someone on twitter say that if the roles were reversed i.e if haein was the one who was wishing for hyunwoo to die, they’d be okay with it bc “yess go get revenge on your toxic husband and free yourself girl” bc misogyny is a systematic thing. it’s not easy to escape abusive husbands in our society especially when they hold power over their partner.
so, for the opposite to happen i.e the husband wanting his wife to die just looks “bad.”
however, queen of tears is a show where it is blatantly obvious that the gender roles are reversed. something that even my younger brother pointed out seamlessly. the hong “queens” family think they’re progressive for making their sons-in-law do their chores for them (something they did not sign up for). this is how many daughters-in-law are treated in modern society. the only reason “misandry” feels more real in the show, in terms of the hong family, is bc the women of this family certainly hold more power over the sons-in-law because of CLASS. haein is a multimillionaire’s daughter while hyunwoo is a villager’s son. they could easily take revenge on his family in irreparable ways. class distinction exists, power exists, abuse exists.
with all that in mind, hyunwoo might as well have been going through the “widow fantasy” where if he left his wife willingly, he’d have to suffer and if he chose to stay, he’d still need to suffer. the only way out was haein not being in his life anymore without him having to do anything.
it sounds cruel but it’s obvious he was pushed to the edge. he wanted to escape the trauma and it should also be noted that by then, he was completely out of love with haein (he told his therapist that he despised his wife the most). how much can you sympathize w someone you can’t even look at without feeling small?
so, in that period, he must’ve went through an overwhelming amount of emotions while he was on survival mode, not allowing him to think straight, or even consider what he had w haein in the past bc much of that was long gone. furthermore, i don’t think he would’ve been that obsessed w the will revision if yanggi didn’t motivate him to think that way, with the intentions of getting compensation for their poor excuse of a marriage.
so yeah, i wouldn’t say he was being a good husband to her initially. but rather, he was being selfish… by looking out for himself for once. he’s always had to clean up the hong family’s mess, looking after their reputation, never getting peace of his own.
then again, it takes two to tango and the marriage failed bc of both hyunwoo and haein’s lack of efforts. but i would say it was more complicated for hyunwoo bc haein always kept him guessing (and she was indecisive as well; the wedding anniversary issue) and he’s grown up in a pretty communicative family, so not taking his partner’s words at face value isn’t something he’s used to. he felt the most unloved.
so, personally, it was hard for me to sympathize with haein until a few more episodes into the show (this is coming from someone who relates to haein a lot, kind of opened up room for a lot of self reflection). she was a bad wife to the point her partner wanted to die. can’t say if the feeling was mutual on her part. haein herself admitted that she was a terrible partner, understanding why he did what he did, despite it being heartbreaking.
another thing i’ve noticed people say is that hyunwoo was pretending to be the good guy and hiding behind his “kind” actions but you could tell his actions became more genuine and he started to catch feelings again, albeit he was in denial at the beginning. when the divorce agreement papers leaked, he told her the honest truth without coming up w excuses, acknowledging that this whole ordeal hurt haein more than it hurt him. he didn’t take advantage of her memory loss (the rain scene w the cat “aeong”) to cut himself some slack and to make sure haein wouldn’t immediately be plotting against him.
he wasn’t hiding behind his actions or claiming to be a good guy. he was owning up.
he started to care, felt guilty (hotel scene in germany) and realized why and how their relationship failed, worked towards making it better. i think he would’ve been honest and told haein abt the divorce himself anyway but learning about it from her mother kind of broke the trust haein had on him.
anyway, i never thought i’d be on tumblr defending a man who was happy at the news of his wife dying but here we are.
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
baek hyunwoo - hong haein, bad at marriage, but even worse at divorce
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
a scene i still think about all the time
360 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's always "i love you" and never "two pairs of shoes by the door, two toothbrushes in the bathroom, and two aprons in the kitchen. everything will be in pairs. in a house where we keep those, will you enjoy today, tomorrow, and all of your time with me?"
337 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m watching Tune in for Love, and the look on Hyunwoo’s face as he’s trying to write an apology email to Misoo and the “Total Session: 43 minutes and 33 seconds.” I’ve felt that terrible hesitation and back-and-forth in your mind. I’m genuinely tearing up, because I can just feel his shame and disappointment in that moment. And not only that, knowing that he decides to give up on the email altogether. It sucks to think he came to the conclusion that he isn’t worth Misoo’s time and that she better off without him. He thinks he brings nothing but trouble
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
people treating sangdo as a villain or evil person in welcome to samdalri just because he lashed out when he was hurt, is so beyond bizarre to me because he is absolutely not? intended to be an evil person, or a bad character, or the villain. yes, he is written as the second lead, so obviously he will show interest in samdal, and yes, that includes resenting his best friend for falling in love and “getting” the girl sangdo has loved all his life, too (and by that, rendering the claim of yongpil’s first love irrelevant, which is part of the point and subtext of his tantrum, because to sangdo, and culturally, it means he has as much of a chance with samdal as yongpil—or should have, if she ever would have reciprocated his feelings, or have given him the time of day the way he wanted her to).
sangdo is not evil, and he is not worthy of being treated like a villain. human relationships are messy, and people who have grown up together have a lot of history that informs such relationships, and it will inevitably lead to conflict. people will say shitty things when they are hurt or feel slighted, and friendships are not always easy, and demand work, support, understanding. when one person falls short of that, or feels wronged in a way, there will be consequences, and feelings never make things as cut and dry as they’d preferably be. that is just human life, and welcome to samdalri shows the very real, muddled truth of these sort of relationships. any relationship, really.
on top of it all, in comparison to yongpil, whom everyone loves and adores, and who is written in a way that shows him as a universally good, friendly, caring and down-to-earth character, who is sort of the entire village’s son or care-taker, sangdo would always appear less than. narratively, that is the way sangdo has been framed, and the way he was set up. i personally find it interesting that there is tension between yongpil and sangdo—tension, that, by the way, mostly and quickly dissipated when they started fighting about trivial childhood matters—because it shows a very real relationship, and friendship. sometimes, at your worst, you resent even the people you love, and you love them anyway, and show up for them anyway, and you try for them, anyway. because that's life.
all that said, i am not excusing what sangdo said, because it was obviously stupid and immature and wrong. samdal is her own person, she could have never been stolen by anyone if she didn't make that decision herself. sangdo is speaking from a place of hurt here, and his own personal point of view. that doesn't make it right, but just his own, extremely subjective opinion fueled by anger and hurt in that moment. and he shows up for samdal, and protects and supports her right after that, anyway. with yongpil, even!
the fact that people think he is as bad as the photographer and her boyfriend is insane. the fact that people read him as a villain is frankly alarming. why one would think this man is a villain and not just a multi-layered, very real character, who is capable of getting hurt and saying shitty things, is beyond me. it is just so fucking bizarre because, yeah, when real, actual people are hurt they will act irrational and rash, and say shit they either don’t mean or that is just plainly to strike out and hurt, or justify their hurt. it is insanely human. why is that so hard to grasp. don’t you want multi-layered, well-written characters?
22 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Euripides, from “Orestes”, An Oresteia (trans. Anne Carson)
Dead Poets Society (1989) dir. Peter Weir
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
dead poets society // heartstopper
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you remember? The passage from a book I told you about. You said the sun can shine brightly because of the shadow. Even though they can't become one, the shadow is always there in the distance, so the sun was never lonely, and is able to shine.
Soulmate (2023)
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
ha-eun and mi-so’s story is an incredibly accurate representation of the beauty and pain of growth. from upsetting revelations to new ideas and lives, the story of these childhood friends is a remarkably realistic portrayal of so many messy relationships and friendships that are a part of growing up. we make mistakes. we communicate. we fall in love. we fall out of love. in the end, soulmates stay together. they find their way back to each other regardless of how much time has passed. ha-eun and mi-so were always soulmates despite their turbulent relationship.
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
tbh i’m not wild fussed about whether or not jerin becomes canon since the core of Derry Girls is the power of platonic/familial love (which is refreshing as fuck) but from a storytelling perspective this relationship makes sense as the end point for the show.
Let me explain why.
Within the conventions of Irish Literature there is a tradition known as the National Tale which sees a novel or play conclude with the happy marriage between an Irish woman and an English man, which acts a symbolic representation of the ideal relationship between Ireland and England. This tradition has its roots in colonialism. We can trace land politics alongside gender politics - ‘feminine’ Ireland is subservient to ‘masculine’ England just as a wife was expected to be subservient to her husband.
The tradition of the Anglo-Irish romance can found throughout the Irish literary canon, from Maria Edgeworth to Dion Bouccicault to Sean O’Casey to Brian Friel, Irish writers have utilised this trope to varying degrees according to their political motivations. Some, like O’Casey and Friel invert this trope, demonstrating how unrealistic this relationship is and many wonderful literary critics have written on how reductive this trope is by pointing out how it denies female characters personal agency in favour of reducing female bodies to political playthings. But that’s a discussion for another day.
That brings us to Lisa McGee and Derry Girls in particular. This ‘text’ is innovative in that it interrogates The Troubles through the lens of teenage girls. Instead of a gritty drama-documentary about paramilitaries or hunger strikers this is a family comedy in the vein of Bouccicault with touching emotional moments reminiscent of Friel. (And it’s no surprise - these are playwrights Lisa McGee would have studied during her time at Queen’s University Belfast.)
Alongside the ‘National Tale’ there is a concept known as the Aisling Tradition. ‘Aisling’ means ‘dream’ in Irish and this literary device sees female characters in plays become the personified version of Ireland - again, depending on your political persuasion this could be used to demonstrate Ireland’s subservience to England however others such as W.B. Yeats used it as a rallying cry to ignite Nationalist passions and encourage young men to take up arms in defence of ‘Mother Ireland’.
If we follow tradition, Erin as the main character becomes representative of Ireland or at the very least the North (’Erin’ literally means Ireland after all). Erin is young, idealistic, and completely helpless in the face of the chaos that surrounds her. Northern Ireland itself is a young state, and after its formation in 1921 there was the hope that civil conflict would end at last. As we know, this was not the case. By the 1990s Northern Ireland had the status of an unwilling child of divorce between the Irish Republic and Britain. But Erin, unlike many of her literary ancestors, is not without agency or without depth. She is perfectly imperfect (like all the characters in Derry Girls) she is human. Here is where Lisa McGee diverts from the trope and re-shakes the ‘Aisling’ model for a modern audience.
As for James, he is the perfect modern translation of a ‘Stage Englishman’ - a standard comic character in theatre which pokes fun at English soldiers who would come to Ireland and become enamoured with the ‘oddities’ of the culture and beauty of the landscape, completely ignorant to the fact that by virtue of their presence they represent the colonial oppression of the land they so admire. While James is not in Derry by choice he serves the function of ‘Stage Englishman’ in that his confusion about cultural norms (eg. wakes) not only provides comedy for an Irish audience but articulates the thoughts of an English viewership who are similarly at a loss.
So why do I think these two will get together?
Well their romance would solidify this iteration of a National Tale narrative in a modern way - if Lisa McGee ends the series (as I assume she will) to coincide with the signing the Good Friday Agreement then the start of a relationship between Erin and James dovetails the hope and beauty of young love conquering all with a climatic historical moment heralding a new era of peace and hope in Northern Ireland.
Many have pointed out that trying to build in a romantic relationship would upset the friendship dynamic of the group as a whole and while I don’t necessarily agree or disagree with that line of thinking, it’s my personal prediction that any confirmation of a romance between Erin and James would occur in the final minutes of the last episode - so we’ll never get to see if it ruins the dynamic of the friend group.
*cue Dreams by The Cranberries playing in the background*
313 notes
·
View notes
Photo
derry girls ● the agreement
There’s a part of me that wishes everything could just stay the same, that we could all just stay like this forever. There’s a part of me that doesn’t really want to grow up. I’m not sure I’m ready for it. I’m not sure I’m ready for the world, but things can stay the same, and they shouldn’t. No matter how scary it is we have to move on and we have to grow up because things, well they might just change for the better.
8K notes
·
View notes
Photo
#exact same energy
23K notes
·
View notes
Text
Director Mun. Shall we dance? You don't have to do anything.
SEE YOU IN MY 19TH LIFE (2023) dir. Lee Na Jeong
795 notes
·
View notes