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samkerrworshipper · 19 hours

Text

i went from chucking my vibrator on charge to grabbing a pack of tissues and crying my eyes out

incredibly depressingly wonderful as always x

i'll never leave. never mind.

alexia putellas x reader after the loss of her brother, r tries to deal with her world collapsing. alexia is determined to help her through it, but r doesn't want to drag her girlfriend down with her. some things in life are just too hard to overcome; for r, will this be one of them? angst + fluff. mentions of suicide. basically, a long fic about grief and healing. this is so sad and so long im so sorry. fluff throughout though, because i'm me.

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The phone was staring at you, you were sure. Or maybe it was the missed calls from your girlfriend, the dry texts you’d sent her that gave no indication of how you were feeling. You were at the airport, flying back to Barcelona, and Alexia didn’t even know you were coming. Originally, you weren’t supposed to fly back until the weekend. You’d moved your flight up, though, beyond desperate to see Alexia.

Your perfect girlfriend, who had been checking on you everyday. Who had offered to come to you if you needed her, no matter what it took. You’d been distant, and you knew it. From the moment you’d heard, you’d pulled away from Alexia. It wasn’t what she’d wanted, and it wasn’t what you’d wanted, but there was no choice for you. Everyone else had to come first.

You were putting everyone else first when you played in the second leg against Chelsea, hours after finding out that your brother was dead. When you flew home right from London, but didn’t let Alexia go with you. When you’d insisted she return to Barcelona with the team, that she couldn’t come with you. When you only called her to say a brief goodnight, only returned her texts to assure her that you were, in fact, okay.

It would have made her insecure, maybe, if she hadn’t been so sure of what you were doing. Alexia had always been your safe place. The person you were always comfortable crying in front of, the person you told your biggest fears too. Avoiding her meant avoiding feeling.

You were the oldest, and with that came the responsibility to be strong. For your parents and your other siblings, you had to be the strong one. Alexia had heard from your sister, Bella, that you’d taken care of everything related to the funeral. You’d jumped head first into planning it, barely taking a second to greet your family before you were asking about flower arrangements and eulogies. Bella told Alexia that she hadn’t seen you shed a single tear. You were a shell of yourself, yes, but it was numbness that you radiated, not pain. Not the agony she was sure you were feeling. You had decided that you had to be strong for everyone else, and that meant not feeling any of it. That meant pushing down every emotion, no matter what it took.

And if anyone understood that, it was Alexia. She had done the same thing when she’d lost her father; held everything together for her sister and her mother. She pretended she was fine. Alexia had held her sister as she cried, and helped her mother cook and clean and plan. She’d been the oldest, and she’d been strong too.

Alexia had lasted a few weeks, pretending she was okay. Before every emotion she’d ignored spilled out and she broke. Completely and entirely broke. And she knew, very well, that you were headed for the same thing if you didn’t stop pushing everything down.

There wasn’t much she could do from hundreds of miles away, though, so she did her best to text and call you and remind you, every second of every day, that she loved you more than anything. And that she was only a phone call away. Even if you hadn’t been very receptive to these reminders, you’d noticed, and she knew you appreciated them.

Now, though, sitting in the bustling airport, you were afraid to go home. Afraid to face your girlfriend, whom you’d been practically ignoring. Afraid to face the reality that was regular life without your brother. Afraid to face every dark and painful emotion you’d been ignoring. You pushed and pushed and pushed them away, until you couldn’t really even remember what it felt like to feel. You were numb. And you weren’t sure if you wanted to stay that way or not.

What you did want, though, was Alexia. You wanted her to hold you, wanted to hear her heartbeat in your ear. Feel her kiss the top of your head, and scratch your back as you fell asleep. So, it was to Barcelona, to home, to Alexia, that you went, 5 full days before you were supposed to. You just needed to work up the guts to tell Alexia that you were coming home.

------

Alexia made up her mind to fly to you half a dozen times, only to talk herself out of it. She had no idea how you were feeling, how you were doing, other than the very unsettling updates she’d gotten from your sister. She ached to hear your voice and feel your warm body pressed against hers; she was miserable.

The team had just arrived at Johan for the midweek match when you finally did call her. Shushing everyone dramatically, Alexia rushed out of the room and answered.

“Hi Ale.”

“Mi amor.” She sighed, deeply relieved to hear the sound of your voice. You sounded numb and completely unlike yourself, but you were calling her all the same.

“Hi.” You repeated, a bit weakly. “I just wanted to wish you good luck.”

Alexia wanted to cry. Your brother's funeral had been today, and still you remembered to call her and wish her luck on a match she was a bit nervous for. “Thank you, amor. How are you? Are you sure I can’t come today after the match? You are there through this weekend, I want to be with you.”

“No, no it’s okay. I’m at the airport right now, actually. I’ll be home tonight.” You admitted, nibbling on your lip anxiously.

“You are coming home today? I thought you were going to stay with your family for a bit longer.” Alexia was thrilled, honestly, but still confused.

“I was, but I changed my mind. It’s been crazy here, I just want to come home.”

“Okay, amor. Whatever you want. Whatever you need. When do you land?”

“Right before the match ends. I’ll probably beat you home.”

“I am excited to see you, bebe. I have missed you so much.” The captain told you gently, using the soft voice that she really only used with you. One that was dripping with love.

“I’ve missed you too.” You whispered. “You have no idea.”

“Soon though. Soon. I will come home straight after the game.”

“Thank you, Alexia. For being so understanding and patient, I’m sorry I’ve been weird this week-”

“Do not apologize, please. You have nothing to be sorry for.” She paused, hearing shouts of her name coming from the other room. “I have to go, but I’ll see you soon. So soon.”

“Bye, Ale. I love you, good luck today.”

After hanging up, Alexia knew she had to get her head in the game. There was a match to play, a team that needed her. And even if her heart was boarding a plane in England, getting ready to fly back to her, she had to focus. For the next few hours at least.

------

Alexia was barely through the door before you were crashing into her arms, absolutely launching your body at hers. You were trembling, trying to contain the whine that came from deep in your throat at the feeling of being safe again. The blonde grabbed you fiercely, pulling you into her arms and squeezing tight. You were lifted off the ground briefly, but you barely even registered it, gripping the blonde’s sweatshirt tight in your fists and shoving your face into her shoulder.

Alexia had been trying not to be worried this whole time that you didn’t need her, didn’t want her. She knew, logically, why you were acting the way you had been, but she wasn’t immune to doubts and insecurity. Now, though, with you holding onto her for dear life, she knew she’d been ridiculous.

“My girl. I’ve got you.” She whispered, feeling you nod into her chest. After a minute, Alexia eased you back and took your face in between her hands, trying to get a good look at your face. You looked like you’d lost weight, and like you hadn’t slept in days. Your eyes were cloudy, gazing up at Alexia like you barely knew she was there. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with you now that she had you back with her. You looked so unlike yourself, so out of it. Alexia didn't think she could get anymore worried, but that was before she’d seen you.

You weren’t crying, just shaking. Just holding onto Alexia like you were afraid if you let go, she’d disappear.

“I saw your goal.” You said after a minute.

Alexia smiled gently at you, pushing a strand of hair away from your face. “It was for you, and for Wesley.”

You flinched at your brother’s name. At the reminder of what had happened. Any minute you could go without thinking about it was a victory, but when you inevitably remembered, it felt like the weight of the world settled back on your shoulders.

And it was this weight that prompted what you said next.

“I think we should take a break.” You said blankly, avoiding the midfielder’s eyes at all cost.

Alexia was stunned into silence for a minute. A different day, a different Alexia, and she would have shut down. Taken your statement as rejection, and left the apartment without another word. But everything about your body language was screaming to her that you didn't mean it. Still gripping her shirt tightly in your hands, still trembling in her arms, you seemed terrified to allow your girlfriend to help you, and terrified to allow her to go.

“No.” Alexia said simply.

“Ale, I can’t do this. I have to deal with this, I don’t- I can’t. Everything is so messed up now. I don’t know what to do, but I can’t put you through this, too. I can’t make you figure this out with me. We should just take a few weeks apart, so I can pull myself together, and you don’t have to worry-”

“Stop. No. You are not putting me through anything. I am committed to you, I love you, and I am not going anywhere. Especially not now. If you think I am going to let you go through this alone, you are crazy. You need me, how could I go?”

“I… I don’t need you.” You said weakly, as if you hadn’t tackled her in a hug the moment you saw her, as if you weren’t inching closer to her every passing second, like the small amount of space in between the two of you was too much.

“You do. And I know that is scary, but I am not leaving. Let me be here. Please.”

“I’m not… I’m not okay.” It was barely more than a mumble, but Alexia nodded sympathetically.

“You are not okay. You don’t need to protect me from that, amor. I can be strong for the both of us. I can be whatever you need me to be.”

A small whimper fell from your lips before you could stop it. There wasn’t any fight left in you, now, not when Alexia was saying all the right things. “You’re sure?”

Alexia pulled you in once more, and tucked your head under her chin. “I am sure.”

“Okay.” You allowed, leaning back after a moment to place a very gentle kiss on your girlfriend’s cheek.

Taking your face into her hands, Alexia frowned, her thumb tracing over the dark circles under your eyes. You looked shattered, drained completely of energy. “Amor…”

“Can we go to sleep, Ale? I’m really tired.”

Alexia could tell. “Of course. Did you not sleep well while you were gone?”

“No.” You sighed, before hesitantly continuing. “I barely slept, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to now, but I always sleep better next to you, but I don’t know if you’re tired…”

Alexia nodded enthusiastically. “Whatever you need, amor. You have to eat something first, though.”

You looked away from her. “I ate at the airport.”

Alexia hummed, a sinking feeling growing in her chest. “No you didn’t. Do you want to shower while I make you something?”

You nodded begrudgingly, and Alexia kissed you on the cheek before sending you on your way.

Dinner was a quiet affair. You came out of the shower looking just as you had before. Numb, broken. Alexia had made your favorite for dinner, and you ate as much as you could, which really, wasn’t much at all. The blonde was just glad to get some food into you. You didn’t really remember Alexia pulling you into the bedroom, or tugging on pajamas that were definitely hers. Suddenly, you were in your bed, head resting against Alexia’s chest, her heartbeat steady in your ear. Suddenly, you were safe again. Safe to feel, safe to hurt. You’d just spent so much time not doing either of those things, that you weren’t really sure how to access the emotions you’d spent days repressing. All you knew was that you didn’t want Alexia to ever let you go.

“Mi amor, do you want to talk?” Her chest vibrated under you as you spoke.

“About what?”

“How you are feeling?”

“I’m… coping.” You told her weakly. Alexia’s hand found its way into your hair, carefully running through the wet strands. You sighed quietly, snuggling in closer to your girlfriend, even as you knew she was pushing you to have a conversation you didn't really want to partake in.

“I do not think you are. I talked to your sister, she is worried about you. I am too. Please, just talk to me.”

You turned slightly, hiding your face more in Alexia’s shirt. “I don’t know what to say, Ale. I don’t know where to start.”

She hummed sympathetically. “Can I ask you questions? Would that be easier?”

And you didn’t want to answer questions, but you knew it was best if you opened up to Alexia, even if it was just a little, so you nodded.

“How was your flight?” She asked. You cracked a smile at her question, clocking that she was starting off simple to ease you into talking to her. She knew you so well, sometimes it felt like she knew you better than you knew yourself.

“Alright. I slept for most of it, but I watched some of the match.”

For the next few minutes, Alexia asked questions about your trip, about your sister’s new haircut that you hated. You wilted slightly when she asked about your other brother, and she picked up on that right away.

“Why did you come home so early?” She wondered. You inhaled deeply, rolling off of her and onto your back. You stared at the ceiling, knowing that the truth would make her angry. Not at you, but angry nonetheless, and you didn’t want that.

“I missed you a lot.” You murmured, refusing to look her in the eye, even as she rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow facing you.

“I missed you, too. Every second you were gone.” She promised, gently removing a stray eyelash from the side of your face and holding it out for you to blow away. It was an adorable habit she had, always insisting you make a wish. “There is more, though.”

There was no question in Alexia’s words and you sighed again, nodding slowly. “I got into an argument with Bennett. About Wes. We weren’t really speaking to each other after the funeral and it was so tense in the house, I just had to get out of there.”

“What did you fight about?”

A tear slid down your face as you shook your head. “I don’t want to talk about that, please.”

“Okay bebé.” Alexia wiped the tear away with her thumb, leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of your eye, as if to soothe your tears. She pulled the covers of the bed higher, desperately trying to make you more comfortable as you suddenly looked to be in agonizing pain. “Did your parents and your sister choose sides?”

Alexia knew your family well enough to know how an argument would go. Normally, your sister and your older brother would easily agree with your parents, regardless of the topic. And your parents always took their side. Bella and Bennett were twins, the golden children, and it was clear for anyone to see that your parents treated them differently. Without Wes around to mediate, Alexia was sure that you would have been all alone in whatever you were fighting about, and she knew how much you despised conflict.

Bottom lip wobbling pathetically, you nodded. “Yeah. They all agreed with Ben. None of them… none of them were really talking to me when I left. Bella felt bad, but my parents didn’t say goodbye when I left for the airport.”

The midfielders stomach twisted at that, knowing how desperately you sought your parents praise and approval. For them to let you fly back across the continent without even a goodbye, after losing their son, after you lost your brother, was cruel. “I am so sorry, amor. That isn’t fair.”

“I feel like everyone is mad at me.” You whispered, linking your fingers with Alexia’s.

“I am not mad at you.” Alexia replied, leaning in against to kiss the corner of your mouth. “You are my favorite person in the world, and I am not mad at you. Does that feel better?”

“Yeah.” You told her, finally shifting to look up at her face. Another few tears slipped down your face and you took a shaky breath. “I want this to all be some horrible nightmare. I want to wake up and find out he’s still here. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

“What do you feel?” Alexia asked again, still not letting a single tear make it off your face before she swiped it away.

This time, you answered her.

“Everything hurts.”

“I know.” She whispered, doing her best to pull you closer into her body.

“I feel like… like I'm broken. Like I'm suffocating. Like I will never feel whole again. I am empty. And I am so fucking sad but I can’t feel it. I can’t make myself feel it. It’s there, locked away, and all I can do is sit. And think. And wish I was dead instead of him.” The last sentence was barely audible, but Alexia heard it clearly.

She shut her eyes tightly, wrapping her arms tighter around you, as if that would make it better. “Please do not say that.”

“He called me. That night, he called me and I declined the call. Because we had a match the next day. And now he's dead, and it is my fault.” You admitted, feeling simultaneously like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders at your confession, but another weight added on with the knowledge that your girlfriend would not know exactly what kind of awful person you were.

But Alexia was Alexia, and she didn’t even flinch at your words. She simply pressed a kiss to your temple and said the words you’d been aching to hear. Words you wanted to believe, words you were scared you never would. “You could not have known, that is not your fault.”

You looked up at her, trying to gauge the sincerity of what she was saying, and found only overwhelming love in her eyes. It was too much. It was love you didn’t deserve. Not when this was your fault. You had never been more convinced in your life than in that moment that you didn't’ deserve Alexia. Her love, her care, her affection, her perfection. She was wholly too good for you. “I don’t even know how you can look at me right now, Ale.”

Your girlfriend shook her head, stunned that you would think such a thing. That you would expect her to blame you for something that was not your fault. Her touch was delicate as she pushed a lock of hair away from your forehead and it was too kind. Too soft.

You yanked yourself out of her arms, even if it felt like you were ripping your heart out of your chest in doing so. With no destination in mind, you walked away from the bed and tried to leave the room, but Alexia grabbed you first.

“My love.” She murmured, drawing you into a tight embrace. Alexia very rarely used terms of endearment for you that weren’t in spanish. She only did so when she wanted you to hear what she was saying, clearly. Her hands were insistent on your face, tilting it up so that you could only look into her warm hazel eyes. There was nothing but adoration on her face, and you were sure you didn’t deserve it. “I can look at you because I love you. More than anything in this world, I love you. What happened is not your fault.”

You shook your head pathetically, but your movements were stilled by Alexia’s strong hands on either side of your face.

“It is not your fault.” She insisted. “And I cannot imagine what you are feeling right now, but I will always be kind to you. Even when you are not being kind to yourself.”

You shut your eyes tightly, desperately trying not to cry. Pitching forward, you pressed your face into Ale’s chest, unable to resist the peace and comfort that she provided. She shushed you softly, raining kisses down onto the top of your head.

“It hurts, Ale,” you whimpered.

Alexia held you tighter.

“I know, bebé. This is so hard, mi amor, I know that. But you will get through this. We will get through this together. I will not leave your side for a single second, do you understand? I love you. You are going to be okay.”

Without even being aware that Alexia was moving you, you suddenly found yourself back on the bed, sitting sideways across your girlfriend’s lap. She was always so gentle. So kind. And you didn’t deserve it, you knew that. But the thought of having to go through this without her was overwhelming, devastating. You fought against the urge to cry, terrified that if you let go, she would leave.

“I can’t do this without you,” you whimpered, holding tightly to her shirt and pressing your face into her neck. You could feel her nod from there, and you settled a bit, especially as her grip on you was tight and unrelenting.

“You will not have to. I am here with you, mi amor. Right here with you.” She promised, shifting to wrap one arm around your midsection and cradle the back of your head with her other hand.

“I-I… I can’t,” you stuttered, trying to swallow the lump in your throat even as it constricted tighter and tighter and you knew your efforts would be futile.

“It is alright, bebé. You can cry. I am right here.” She affirmed again.

A choked sob fell from your lips as you finally gave in, as the tidal wave of emotion you’d been running from finally caught up to you. It dragged you under the surface over and over, until you could hardly breathe. Until there was nothing else in the room with you but despair.

You cried for your brother, for who he was and who he would never become.

For yourself. Because you didn’t answer the phone, but also because you knew deep in your soul that answering would not have changed anything.

You cried for your siblings, for your parents. Who were so destroyed that they sought out something, someone to blame. Even though they landed on you, even though you needed them. They needed you, but differently. They needed to blame you. It had to be your fault, or it might be theirs.

You cried for Alexia, because you knew you had put her through hell the past week, and it would only continue. You cried because she was perfect and because you loved her. You cried because she loved you.

You cried for the first time since hearing about what had happened. You cried for sweet, sweet Wes, who deserved better from everyone in his life. You included, but not only you.

You cried because it felt like a part of you was dead, too.

The part that was still alive, though, forced you to listen. To Alexia’s steady heartbeat, and the soft words she whispered. To her reminders to breathe, and her reminders that she loved you. If what you were feeling was a tsunami, Alexia was the high ground that would keep you safe. Keep you alive.

You clung to that safety, that security. Without her, you might have drifted off. Not to sleep, but away. You’d never have to find out, though. Because Alexia wasn’t going anywhere. Not when you cried, not when you couldn’t breathe, not when you couldn’t speak. She’d bring you back to her every time. Because she loved you. And it didn't matter that you weren’t sure you were deserving of her love. She loved you anyway.

Once your cries had slowed to pitiful sniffles, the midfielder laid you down carefully next to her, curling her body around yours. You were engulfed in her arms, and the soft blankets on the bed, a safe little cocoon. Alexia couldn’t tell if your eyes were half shut because they were swollen from crying, or if you were exhausted. Probably both.

Her finger traced little shapes over your cheek as she whispered to you. “Sleep mi amor. I’ve got you. You are safe, and you are okay. Just relax.”

Her eyes were locked on yours, encouraging you to give in and let yourself rest. Her words, too, felt like a very convincing drug, and you were letting your cheek rest against her chest before you knew it, letting the repetitive beating of her heart lull you to sleep.

-----

You slept solidly, for the first time in a week. Straight through the night, no interruptions. Well, until morning came, and then you were awoken by quiet crunching. You stretched a bit, not yet ready to open your eyes, but aware from the amount of sun in the room that it was late morning. The crunching stopped as soon as you moved, and you quickly realized you were not curled up against your girlfriend, like you normally slept. Rolling over, you squinted your eyes open and saw Alexia looking guilty down at you, a handful of granola in her hand frozen halfway to her mouth.

“Sorry.” She whispered.

It wasn’t really that funny, but you found yourself giggling to yourself, until Alexia started laughing with you.

“You had to get the crunchiest thing in the kitchen?” You questioned, barely getting the words out through your laughter.. She shook her head at you, putting the bag of granola down and pulling you into her arms.

“I was going for what would leave the most crumbs in the sheets.” She said cheerily, planting a soft kiss on your cheek.

“You are so dumb.” You chuckled, sighing comfortably back in her embrace.

“I am smart.” Alexia declared, before she turned slightly serious. “You can sleep more if you need, bonita. It is 11:30, but we do not have anything we need to do today.”

“No, it’s okay. I should get up.”

“Thank god. I am starving and you make better breakfast than I do.”

You fought a smile, finding the effort she was putting in to make you laugh quite endearing. “You could have woken me if you were hungry. Or gone and gotten something to eat.” Your attempt to slide out of bed was halted by Alexia’s grip tightening around you, her voice soft in your ear.

“No, you needed to rest. And you were holding on to me in your sleep. I did not want to leave you for long.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“No, no apologies. You need me, I am here. If you need me to lay in bed and cuddle you for half the day, I am more than happy to do that.” She said it so earnestly, you almost felt like crying.

“Ale, you know I love you, right? More than anything?”

She nodded, shifting you in her arms to be able to press her forehead to yours. “And I love you. More than all the stars in the sky.”

You gave her a watery smile, gently pecking her lips with yours. “That is very corny.”

“There are no ways to tell you how I love you without being corny. You will just have to get used to it.” Alexia whispered, connecting her lips with yours again. It was soft and loving, reflecting everything she’d just said to you. Alexia always made sure to tell you what she felt about you, as well as show you. She was perfect in that way.

-----

Your words from the previous evening hung between you both like a dark cloud. Alexia was doing her best to treat you normally, you could tell. She didn’t want to hover, but she was filled to the brim with worry for you. So, you took the first step, and brought it up while the two of you were making breakfast.

Clearing your throat, you focused on carefully cutting up the fruit, sure that if you kept yourself slightly distracted, you wouldn’t get too upset.“Last night. What I said…”

“What did you say?” Alexia asked casually, though you could feel her eyes burning into the back of your head from the opposite counter.

“I said that I wished I-”

“I remember.” Alexia cut you off not unkindly, abandoning the coffee she was making in favor of walking to you and wrapping her arms around your abdomen. Her chin perched itself on your shoulder, and you leaned back into her, letting your eyes flutter shut.

“I didn’t mean it.” You told her. Her silence told you she was skeptical, and she should have been. “Okay, I did mean it. But I would never do anything stupid, okay? I would never… do what he did. I am upset and I am hurting but I know… know that I can be okay again. I think.”

All the tension left your girlfriend’s body, and you were only aware of how stressed she had been once she relaxed. She sagged into you, burying her face in the crook of your neck and nodding rapidly. “Good. Good. I love you. So much.” You moved to return to chopping your fruit, but the blonde took the knife from your hand and set it down, before spinning you to face her. She was completely serious as she addressed you. “If you ever felt like that,”

“Alexia, I am not going to...” You let the sentence fade out, inhaling deeply again before you continued. “I wouldn’t do that to you, or to my family, I wouldn’t be that-”

You cut yourself off, shaking your head. Alexia didn’t let you pull out of her grasp like you wanted to, studying your face closely.

“You are angry with him, sí?” Alexia asked carefully. She was too perceptive for her own good sometimes.

“Yeah.” Admitting it felt like a betrayal.

“That is okay. You can be angry.”

You weren’t convinced and Alexia ached to make you understand that your feelings, whatever they were, were valid. Still, she knew when to push and when not to, so she let it go. For now.

With a soft kiss on your lips, she nudged you back to the fruit, whining dramatically that she was hungry. Alexia could always make a situation light hearted again with just a few words, and that was something you realized you hadn’t appreciated enough until now.

-----

Alexia’s brain hurt from thinking. Around and around in circles, wishing she could convince herself she was wrong about the conclusion she had come to. You were sitting in between her legs on the couch, half watching the football match on TV, half enjoying the way Alexia’s fingers played with your hair. She couldn’t stop thinking about the fight you’d said you had with your brother, and what it could have been about. How bad it could have been for you to leave home early, for your parents not to be speaking to you, especially after everything that had happened. Alexia thought and thought and thought until she couldn’t take it anymore, and then she just asked.

“Can I ask you something?” The blonde murmured, finishing the braid she was twisting your hair into, only to take it out and start again.

Her hands playing with your hair was ridiculously soothing, and you only hummed in response.

“The fight with your brother? Was that about Wes calling you that night?”

All the work Alexia had done to get your body to relax was undone as soon as the words left her mouth. Your shoulders scrunched back up, and you went back to picking at your cuticles. You’d already made a few nails bleed this morning, and your girlfriend sighed internally as you another one began to bleed, too.

“Yes. I didn’t tell them right away, but my dad went through Wes’ phone and that was the last call he made.” Your voice broke, and Alexia abandoned your hair in favor of pulling you into her, your back to her front. “He asked me about it, and Ben just… freaked out.”

“What did Bennett say?” She wondered, pulling each of your hands into hers in an effort to stop the damage you were inflicting on your nails.

“He said I should have answered. That is wasn’t enough that I left the country for football, left Wes behind, but I ignored his call even though family is supposed to be the most important thing. And that he blames me. He said that if I had answered, Wes would be alive.”

“What did your parents say?”

“They agreed with Ben. Said I shouldn’t come home until I decide to start putting my family first. My dad said…” Again, you trailed off. This time, it was because you weren’t sure you had the strength to repeat what had been said to you.

“Tell me, baby.” Alexia encouraged, hoping that if she held you tight enough, the pain would leave you alone for a while.

“He said it was my fault his son was dead, and if there was any justice in the world it would have been me instead.” You whispered, Alexia’s sharp intake of air closely mirroring what your reaction had been. “I moved my flight after that. I still had to go to the funeral, but I wanted to leave as soon as I could.”

It was overwhelming, everything your girlfriend was feeling, and she couldn’t even imagine the turmoil you were in at the moment. The urge to call your father and give him a piece of her mind was almost as strong as the urge to wrap you up in a blanket against her and never let anyone hurt you again. Almost.

“Mi preciosa, he is wrong. That is not true. Your brother never would have wanted you to blame yourself. He loved you so much, and he knew you loved him too. He would be angry if he knew how everyone was treating you. Amor, you know this, right?”

Your shrug was not good enough for Alexia.

“This was not your fault. It is not on you. You are a good person, and an incredible sister. Your parents and Bennett, they are hurting, but they should not have said the things they have said. It hurts them that this happened out of their control, and they just want someone to blame. It is not fair that it is you, amor, but they are wrong. They are so, so wrong.”

“I want to believe that.” You replied, hanging onto her every word even if it felt like everything she was saying was much too generous to you. “I just don’t know how to.”

Alexia nodded, her lips finding your cheek in a gentle peck. “I will remind you every day, until you believe it. You are good, you are loved, and this was not your fault.” She repeated herself, and you shut your eyes, trying to force the reassurances to seep into your brain, and hopefully stay there.

When you opened your eyes again, turning slightly so you could see her face, you believed her just a bit more. Bit by bit, Alexia would convince you. Just like she’d convinced you that she loved you. Like she’d convinced you to let her start putting some of her clothes in your half of the closet, and that cappuccinos were better than lattes. She was persuasive, your Alexia. Unrelenting, determined, and persuasive. When she set her mind on something, she didn’t give up. It was this tendency of hers that had you almost convinced that you’d survive this. Even if it was the hardest thing you’d ever do, Alexia would get you through it.

“What have I done to deserve you?” You murmured, looking up at her with something close to awe on your face.

“You did not have to do anything. I love you. You deserve to be loved.” Alexia replied easily. She didn’t think twice before she spoke. It wouldn’t ever not surprise you how easily, how fully, Alexia loved you, and that was okay. You never wanted Alexia’s love to grow mundane, or unsurprising. You wanted the force of her love to always knock you off your feet, just a little. Because you were pretty sure the force of your love for her would always be overpowering, too.

-------

this was so dialogue heavy and im not sure i don't think it's awful and too depressing, so thanks for sticking around to the end if you did :)

not... opposed to a part 2 honestly. i have a little part written about alexia trying to deal with r's grief, while also finding it to be such a harsh reminder of her own experience. but i'm not sure what else it would be, or if anyone would want it anyway so. give me your thoughts :)

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samkerrworshipper · 20 hours

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the goats of smut !

i’m gay.. this might have made me gayer

my friends wrote a masterpiece and you should all go read it… over and over and over

one of your girls part 4

part 1 part 2 part 3 alexia x jenni x leila x reader. you take a ride. smut 18+. part of the rush verse @vixwritesagain ... for context: Read Part One here Read Part Two here Read Part Three here Read Part Four here Read Part Five here Read Part Six here Read Part Seven here Read Part Eight here

-----

Soothing hands were slow to stroke at your skin. When Jenni spoke, it was the quietest you’d ever heard her. A husky, mumbled thing just for you. “Be good. I want to see you come tonight.”

There was no fight when she untangled herself a second time, though the way her hands lingered on your thighs gave her away. Jenni pressed her lips to your cheek before standing up straight. She was quick to turn, walking to where Alexia was perched on the edge of the bed, blocking your view when she bent down to catch the captain’s lips.

You looked away immediately. There was something in your gut which made it hard to watch, like you were intruding on something private, intimate.

Instead, your focus travelled to the corner of the room. Leila met your gaze immediately. Her hand rubbed over her mouth for a moment before she smiled lazily. You watched her focus trail down to your bare chest, then to your legs still hanging off the desk.

With space, you could breathe again. You took the time, forcing deep breaths to calm your frantic heart.

By the time Leila looked back up to your face, you had the wherewithal to raise both eyebrows at her. “Okay?” You mouthed.

Leila’s grin stretched even further. A satisfied nod before her expression turned concerned. “You?” She mouthed back.

It took another second of shaking out your tense limbs, for you to nod and smile back at her. You were half way to pushing off the desk and finding a home on her lap when Jenni spoke. “Lie down, amor. Let her work for you.”

You glanced back just in time to see how Alexia surged up to catch her girlfriend’s lips again. They broke apart only when Jenni’s grin couldn’t be contained, and Alexia pushed back to make herself comfortable against the pillows.

Jenni turned slowly, fiddling with the harness at her hips to unclip it. Her eyes met yours as her content expression faded to something far more devious. Jenni didn’t say anything, but the raise of her eyebrow and the tilt of her chin made the instruction clear enough.

Your legs were like jelly, though you tried to hide just how floaty they felt as you toed your way to the bed.

Alexia lay with both hands behind her head while you hooked a leg over her hips. Though her dark eyes followed your every move, she didn’t react when you steadied yourself on her stomach nor when you reached down to fist her strap.

The few short strokes you gave it were instinctive, but the tiny groan she tried to swallow made you wonder how she’d react if you took her in your mouth. Driven by your own arousal, you ignored it and pressed her tip against your entrance.

After taking their cocks for so long, sinking down was easy. The pleased little noise you let out might have been embarrassing but for how it made Alexia’s lips curl into the tiniest of smiles.

Then the first gentle rock, testing how it felt to ride her. You were vaguely aware of Jenni moving around the room, but paid little mind to her quiet footsteps.

Alexia’s lips parted, tension finding her brow when you sunk back down and sat against her hips. There was the temptation to grind your clit against her skin, but you knew what she really wanted.

Perhaps your needy whines were theatrical, but your cunt clenched around her strap over and over. You quickly found the angle you liked best, one which shot pleasure up your spine every time you sat down.

Whatever show you were planning to put on was off the table when it felt so good. Up and down, with your eyes fluttering shut and your fingertips digging into her skin. The sounds you pulled from her weren’t loud - low groans and the occasional grunt - but they set you alight all the same.

It wasn’t long until you felt her hands curl around your waist, just holding at first, then pushing up to grope your chest. Her fingers pulled at your nipples, making you shiver and tense around her. When her hands returned to your waist, it was to help fuck her cock inside.

“Yes!” You gasped at the extra power behind the rhythm.

“She looks so pretty when she rides you, doesn’t she, Ale?” Leila asked, grinning to herself when you turned your head in her direction. Alexia’s fingers tightened, very clearly wanting your attention on her.

When you looked back down at her, she met your gaze, though with an unusually tense tone. “Do you think about me? When you’ve got Leila's cock inside of you, do you think about me?”

Shivering, you rolled your eyes at her single-mindedness. Though you should have learned your lesson by now, you couldn’t help yourself. “No.”

Within a second, the blonde’s hands were gripping onto your hips, stopping your movements completely.

“No?” She echoed. As soon as you forced your eyes to hers, you were met with a cruel smirk. You tried to ignore her, tried to grind back and forth, but she was too strong. You couldn’t move your lower body even an inch, and just as you were about to give in, Alexia spoke again. “So she is lying to me?”

Your body froze, your confusion clearly written across your face.

Alexia grinned like she was happy to elaborate. “Leila is lying when she says you think about me when you come?”

And it should have been a humiliating revelation, that they’d spoken about you like this. But if it was going to embarrass you, Leila would have never said it. No, she was well aware of how Alexia would bring their conversations up, and your girlfriend knew just what your reaction would be.

Your whole body seemed to twitch as you fought the urge to push Alexia’s hands off you and take what you wanted.

“I am not lying. Tell her, bebé.” Leila piped up, sounding as if all her dreams had just come true.

“Sometimes,” You allowed, your pride only allowing you to say so much, though Alexia’s hands loosened their grip just enough for you to buck pathetically against her.

“All the time,” Leila corrected. “When I fuck her. When she fucks herself.”

“Am I that good?” Alexia asked arrogantly.

Swallowing a whine as she stopped you again, you clenched your fists against her taut stomach. In the quiet, you could hear slick sounds behind you, then Jenni’s signature sigh.

Alexia licked her lips, dark eyes focused on your every move and hair splayed out against white sheets. You shifted a little, catching her gaze trailing down to your breasts before you spoke. “You are… good.”

Alexia let out a sharp exhale as her focus turned clinical. “You will have to be more specific if you want to come. Did you like taking my fingers, or being on your knees for me?”

“Alexia, just let me move.” You whined, dragging blunt nails across her forearms.

“No. Dime.”

For a second, you thought Leila might jump in and save you again. Instead, the silence stretched on and on until you broke. “On my knees.”

“Sí? What about it?”

“All of it.”

“Todo?” Alexia loosened her grip, stroking over your thighs as they immediately started working you up and down her length.

“Todo.” Leila sang from the corner as you moaned. “She liked when you made her eat Jenni’s pussy while you fucked her.”

“And when you played with her ass?” Jenni guessed. You could hear the grin in her breathless tone.

Alexia grinned too, watching you with an unfair amount of control. “Puta,” She purred, letting you find the angle which made you keen, “Show me how much you like my cock.”

With your hands on her stomach, you bounced. A few gentle bucks first to get used to it, then fast enough to feel the heady pleasure. So thick, so deep every time you sat down. Your unrestrained moans mingled with the springs of the hotel bed, creaking in time with every rock.

You weren’t sure if it was Alexia’s hands rocking you, or her hips bucking up from the bed. Either way, the feeling of her was more. It was relentless and deep. The longer it went on, the higher your desire to come became.

“Alexia likes to think about you, too, cari.” Jenni called from behind. “Ever since she had you, you’re all she talks about-”

“Jenni-” Alexia warned though her eyes never left your chest.

“-Your pretty pussy on her cock,” The striker continued as if uninterrupted.

“Jennifer.”

“She likes to think about filling you up and making you scream. Don’t you, Ale?”

You watched Alexia’s eyes trail down to where you rode. It wasn’t often that Alexia was without something to say, and it was this rarity that gave you a little courage. Without letting yourself think too hard about it, you grabbed Alexia’s hands from where they rested on your hips, and shifted forwards, pinning her to the mattress.

There was barely any time for Alexia to look at you, astonished, before your lips were next to her ear, and you spoke so quietly, the blonde knew only she had heard you. That your words were only for her.

“Come in my pussy, Ale, I need it,” You whimpered.

Alexia groaned before it happened. You gasped when she used her overwhelming strength to flip the both of you until her body pressed into yours.

Another second, then Alexia was moving. Not just moving her hips, not just fucking into you like she had before. Maybe it was different because you knew she was going to make you come this time. Regardless of the reason, it was unrestrained and visceral. It was Alexia, taking what she wanted, and giving you what you wanted at the same time.

All of her control was wholly abandoned in favour of rutting into you with all of her power, fucking in so deeply, you could feel her in your stomach. All you could do was wrap all four of your limbs around her toned body, try to remember to breathe, and hold on as she worked you both up, steadily higher and higher. Her body stayed close, hips snapping her cock inside and rubbing against your clit deliciously.

“Alexia, god, Ale, ” You couldn’t finish your sentence, overcome with pleasure as your body began to shake. She fucked the neediest sounds from you with every thrust.

“Again,” she hissed.

“Alexia. Ale-” You chanted, willing to do whatever she asked if it meant she wouldn’t stop. Not now, not when you were so high strung. “Alexia. Please. Fuck, Alexia.”

“Te sientes tan bien,” Alexia grunted, her lips brushing against your cheek. You couldn’t think about the affection in her voice, or the way you were wrapped around her, only the way it felt. Hot, relentless, and safe. Her arms held you so tightly there was nowhere to move, but why would you want to? Her panting in your ear, the pounding of her hips, the press of her skin. All of it was heaven.

“I’m so-” You warned, feeling it build low in your stomach.

“No. Wait. Conmigo.” She cut you off with a low rasp.

You clung to her, nodding into her neck though you weren’t sure it was even possible to stop it.

“Vas a correr en su coño, Ale?” Jenni wondered.

You let out a needy whine at her question.

The midfielder was bucking into you frantically, clearly nearing her own peak. With every thrust, Alexia grew less and less composed. Her lips were parted as she breathed a sharp exhale every time she filled you. The intensity of her gaze bordered on hypnotising, almost distracting from the word she murmured. “Inside?”

“Please,” You moaned, a hand tightening its grip on the back of the blonde’s neck.

Her cheek pressed to yours, her lips finding your ear. “Tell me.” Alexia demanded.

“I need you to come inside me,” You whined, “Ale, I’m so close, I’m gonna come.”

“Let me fill up your pussy first, zorrita.”

“Fuck, Ale. I can’t.” You desperately tried to swallow your own arousal and think of anything beyond how close to the edge you were.

“Espera.” She commanded breathlessly.

You whimpered, shaking your head into her neck. The harder she drove, the more certain you were that you couldn’t last a single second longer.

“It’s okay bebé,” Leila chimed in sweetly. “Come on Ale’s cock. Give her a tight little hole to fill up.”

You stopped trying to fight it, allowing the stimulation to overtake your body. A few harsh thrusts, then it hit. You writhed under Alexia, back arching, eyes slamming shut as it washed over you.

“Alexia,” you mewled, your voice barely more than a squeak before you fell silent. The peak was too high. You squeezed her, holding on until it broke hard. Wave after wave after wave flooding every nerve in your body.

Alexia worked herself furiously towards her own end, finding the rhythm and angle that felt the best and hitting it with every thrust, though it was difficult to move when you clamped down. The knowledge that she was the reason you were in such a state of bliss made her head spin, and it was only a few more seconds of chasing her own orgasm before she shook.

Alexia’s hips slapped against your skin, meeting the sound of her filthy moans until both became muffled. Her movements inside of you slowed, becoming smaller and smaller until she stopped completely. Then came the comforting weight of her body relaxing into yours. The slight shift of her cock had you keening in sensitivity, letting your legs fall from where they were wrapped around her waist.

“Shh,” She breathed, hand clumsily gripping onto yours. You weren’t sure whether you were shaking or if Alexia was, but you hauled her in closer all the same, needing to feel every inch of her skin against yours. The room was still, or maybe your head was too clouded to register much else. It could have been seconds or minutes that you and Alexia lay there, unconsciously breathing in sync.

When your needy sounds had died down, Alexia carefully inched the strap out of you. You managed to withhold your whimper this time, but it escaped only a minute later when Alexia leaned up and away. She rolled onto her back, her body only parting from yours for seconds before she was tugging you back into her side. Your hand trembled where it laced with Alexia’s, your inhales and exhales unsteady against her chest.

It was comfortable, laying pressed up against Alexia’s warm skin. You didn’t think of much beyond the heat of her and the aftershocks which sporadically shivered through your spine.

The quiet shift of fabric, then a soft hand stroked up and down your back. Given Alexia’s stillness, you knew didn’t belong to the blonde.

Leila didn’t need to say anything before you were rolling away from Alexia and into her waiting arms. She was still dressed, wearing her favourite hoodie that smelled unmistakably like her, all comforting, soft and familiar. You settled against her, inhaling deeply as she ran her fingers through your hair. She was less warm than Alexia’s bare skin, but the stroke of her hands made you shiver for different reasons. You both were jostled as the bed dipped next to you, and though you weren’t looking, you knew that Jenni had not been as gentle as she pulled her girlfriend into her.

“Ale!” She sang, pressing a few kisses to Alexia’s cheek. You could picture the shy smile on Alexia’s face, yet Leila’s heartbeat in your ear was too soothing. You couldn’t bring yourself to focus on anything but her. Peace was something you apparently weren’t allowed, though, as you were shaken gently before you could allow yourself to truly relax.

“Not yet.” Leila whispered. “You can’t sleep yet. We still have guests.”

You grumbled, pressing your face further into her chest. A large hand came to rest on the back of your head, fingers tapping at your skull gently at first, then a bit more insistently. You looked up to glare at Alexia, who was grinning smugly at you from her spot reclined in Jenni’s arms.

“Did I tire you out?” She questioned.

You rolled your eyes. “No, your girlfriend did.”

This time though, Alexia didn’t jump to jealousy. “You begged for me. You did not beg for Jenni.” She dismissed, though she visibly tightened the grip Jenni’s long arms had around her.

“You didn’t,” Jenni agreed, nuzzling into her girlfriend’s neck. “Don’t lie, cari. She is the best. You look so good together.”

The look Alexia tried to hide was the softest you’d seen on her.

Leila’s fingertips traced patterns over your ribcage. “You are so pretty when you beg.” She sighed dreamily. “So pretty when they fuck you.”

Alexia hummed her agreement softly, removing her hand from your head with a smirk. The room fell quiet again. You started to recognise the hum of cars outside and the chatter of people in the hallway.

You were just about to turn back into Leila’s chest, company be damned, when Jenni cleared her throat. “Do you all remember my goal? It was a good one, no?”

Alexia reached her hand up, stroking at Jenni’s cheek. “Sí, increíble.”

The forward waited patiently for a moment, but none of you said anything else. “So is it time for my reward now? For my goal?”

-----

thank you for coming on this filthy journey with me :) i hope you all enjoyed. <3

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samkerrworshipper · 2 days

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I am at a loss of words. You are incredible. All I can do is thank you a million times for that second part. Thank you thank you thank you. You are unbelievably talented. I only hope to write like you some day.

this made my night

going to try and see what i can do about part three tomorrow :)

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samkerrworshipper · 2 days

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OMG I lowkey want reader to keep being a brat and for alexia to just USE HER. like literally just destroy the reader GOD

hehehehehe

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samkerrworshipper · 2 days

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Are you still writing for Sam?

yes and no

tbh as a writer i write for my enjoyment but as a person who has a blog i also write for the people

and my sam fics don’t do as well as my alexia or leah or team fics so ultimately i don’t want to devote time to it when i could devote more time to making the things the majority likes

it’s hard but it’s just kind of my mindset tbh

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samkerrworshipper · 2 days

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You have broken my brain … I … Jesus fucking Christ … I will need 5-6 business days to recover.

heheheh

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samkerrworshipper · 2 days

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when i say written i meant read rip

not trying to take credit for your fics rip xx

my sleep deprivation is very clear in my lack of energy to edit my posts before posting them rip

whats ur favorite fics in general?

tbh my brain is to fried to write down super specifics butttt

@vixwritesagain smut is godly, literally on a different level SFTD and rush are probably up there with the best smut i've ever written, it's basically poetic literature to me lol

@girlgenius1111 for everything, literally everything lols but i'm a absolute wimp for anything to do with Sol

@wileys-russo i claim to be a fluff hater but... for her, i would read it all and i will eat it all up without failure, a personal fav of mine though is filling the void to probably nobodies surprise

@woso-dreamzzz bambi... don't even get me started.. and just for blurbs and short fics.. i'm obsessed with everything she writes and also amazed at how frequently she posts and writes (i'm in awe and could simply never)

anyways tbh this is just me fangirling about my frens but i'm just speaking facts lol

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samkerrworshipper · 2 days

Text

to die for

absolutely delectable

one of your girls part 3

part 1 part 2 alexia x jenni x leila x reader. jenni takes her turn. smut 18+. part of the rush verse @vixwritesagain ... for context: Read Part One here Read Part Two here Read Part Three here Read Part Four here Read Part Five here Read Part Six here Read Part Seven here Read Part Eight here

-----

Though her lips were kind on your shoulder blade, her victorious smile was anything but. Alexia spoke lowly, a quiet thing only aimed at you. “Since you like your girlfriend’s cock so much more, you can come on hers later.”

Another five seconds of listening to your whimpers, then Alexia stood up. She was quick to let go of your wrists and pull out entirely.

Twitching, you pressed your hands to the cold surface and found a little room to breathe through the sensation.

Meanwhile, the room was quiet but for the buzz of the A/C.

Jenni could tell how pleased Alexia was with herself when the midfielder turned around to face her. Rising from where she was comfortably reclined on the bed, the striker couldn’t help but smile.

“Your turn.” Alexia grinned back, moving to take her girlfriend’s spot on the bed. Jenni grabbed the blonde’s hand before she could pass, running a finger over a scratch mark on Alexia’s abdomen that you didn’t remember leaving. Jenni’s eyes found Ale’s, and the younger woman couldn’t help the way she preened a bit under the proud gaze of her girlfriend.

“Lo hiciste muy bien, amor.” Jenni murmured, taking a moment to gently grab a displaced strand of Alexia’s hair and tuck it behind her ear. The gesture was dripping with affection, but Alexia focused only on the smile on Jenni’s face; the smile that signified the brunette was very happy with her girlfriend at the moment.

“I am not done.” Alexia whispered, the words just loud enough for you to hear. “Go fast. I want it to be my turn again.”

Jenni threw her head back and laughed, the sound echoing through the otherwise quiet room. It felt like only a second later that the forward was resting a hand on your back, delighting in the small whimper you let out.

“Jenni.” You groaned, allowing the older woman to pull you up and over, so that you were sitting on the desk facing her.

“Hi.” She smiled, brushing some hair away from your face.

“Your girlfriend is insane.”

Jenni chuckled, stepping in between your legs and easing you closer to the edge of the desk. “And that is my fault?”

“You know it is.”

“Mm. I am not crazy, cari.” She argued, hands trailing up and down your sides in a soothing manner.

“No?”

Her lips caught your eye, so close to your own. As if reading your mind, her tongue ran across them, leaving a faint sheen behind. “No. Promise.”

It was simultaneous, both of you moving in towards each other until your lips met. It was unusually soft, and while Jenni told herself it was just because you needed her to take it slow, the truth made itself known in the way you each melted into the other. Jenni’s arms around your back, your own linked behind her neck, you both pressing into each other until it was skin on skin. So close to each other that the momentarily forgotten strap brushed against your core. You whimpered, a pathetic sound that was just barely muffled by Jenni’s mouth on yours.

“Sorry.” She mumbled against your lips. Her eyes cracked open to check on you, but you were already leaning forward again. You ignored the apology, chasing her lithe body as it pulled back and wrapping your legs around her midsection. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, and you gently unwound the hair tie until it gave way. The dark strands tumbled down around her shoulder, your fingers promptly weaving into them.

The two of you kissed for a while, long past what was probably expected from the other two in the room. You didn’t feel like pulling away. Not when Jenni’s soft skin felt so comforting against yours. Not when it had been so long since you’d had her like this. It wasn’t the passion that had been missing from your encounters, it was the tranquillity that couldn’t exist when there was more than just the two of you.

When you did break away, you didn’t go far. You kept your forehead pressed to hers. “Jen, I-”

“I know.” She assured you. It wasn’t necessary to hear you say the words; she’d known a millisecond before you’d broken the kiss what you were going to ask for. One of her hands moved from where it cradled your back to slip in between the two of you, finding the strap that was pressed in between both of your bodies. “Do you need-?”

“Just need you.” You gasped, tucking your head into the crook of her neck as she nudged the tip against you. Jenni took care to shift your hips, angling herself in just right.

“Dios mió,” She groaned, pushing in gradually until she was buried inside. The soft cry that tumbled from your lips was unlike any other sound you’d made so far. It was needy, and you were acutely aware of that fact as you bit down on the firm muscle of Jenni’s shoulder.

Her hand stroked up your back to cradle your head against her. She let you breathe, pressing her lips to your temple softly. When you eventually pulled back, it was impossible not to get lost in her stare. “Lista?”

“Yes.” You murmured back, leaning in to capture her lips once again.

The first roll of her hips had you moaning into her mouth. You could feel the smile she tried to fight, but you couldn’t be irritated when her hands started to wander. Jenni began at the small of your back, tracing gentle patterns with her fingertips. She ran down your sides, stroking at your thighs where they curved around your hips but never dipping inside.

She worked slowly, rocking into you with a fluidity which made it easy to get lost in the rhythm of her kisses and forget about how well she filled you. Everywhere she touched tingled.

“Oh my god, Jen.” You breathed, reaching down to hold her waist. Underneath your fingers, you could feel the gentle shift of her muscle giving pass after pass.

You ducked your head, pressing your lips to her neck, then her shoulder. It took a few seconds to find the spot which made her sigh, a little up from her collarbone, a little down from the sharp jut of her jaw. You licked first to be sure, then mouthed when her fingertips flexed on your thigh.

She was quick to get you back, licking filthily into your mouth and chasing your kisses with her own until you whined. Only when you gasped at the pleasured shivers she sent up your spine did she pull back. Still, she was so close. Her hair tickled at your chest as she leaned into you.

It was so quiet when you closed your eyes, just Jenni’s gentle grunts and the slick slide of her skin against yours. Your hands wandered, trailing along bare skin until you held her tenderly. The rock of her hips inside was steady enough for your own to tilt. With every pass, Jenni brushed against your clit.

With nothing else to focus on, she filled every sense. The taste of her, how her hair smelled fresh from her shower, touching all the tiny marks on her skin you’d memorised so well you could trace them with your eyes closed.

Her tongue dragged over your neck. You could feel her when you stretched back and let her have you however she wanted. Most satisfying, you relaxed into the sound of the muffled moans she’d breathe out intermittently.

Jenni just knew where to touch and what to do. You could feel yourself smiling between her kisses, running on nothing but instinct and feeling. Chasing every roll of her hips with a touch of your own, coaxing her to feel as good as she did you.

The tension she built caught you by surprise. It wasn’t a focus until she moaned herself and changed the pattern. Just a fraction harder, but still as fluid.

“Fuck.” You breathed, loathe to break the tranquillity with anything too loud.

Jenni nodded into your neck before one of her hands cradled your cheek. Her forehead pressed gently to yours.

Your whole body shivered, making you cling to her. “I’m so…” You tried, but the feeling of her made it hard to think.

The striker hummed before she leaned in to let your lips brush.

You managed half a second before your own parted in a low moan. Jenni stayed close, shifting her hips just a little deeper now. Her own groan was caught in your mouth.

Brain blank of anything but her, it went on and on. Over and over. Wet and panting, breathing in each other’s air until you weren’t sure if the high would ever end.

All it took was a sharp snap. “Don’t let her come.”

Jenni jolted immediately at her girlfriend’s call. A moment of silence, then she was still. She had the decency to pull you close, letting you burrow your head in her neck while you whined needily.

For a long time, the feeling of her cock inside and her skin pressed to your clit kept you right there. A few little rocks would have done it, but your limbs clung to her so tightly that moving even one of them would have been a challenge. You tried to focus on the whir of the A/C and the occasional shift of bedsheets over her shoulder to calm yourself, but the sounds just kept coming. There was arousal, yes, but also a hint of embarrassment at losing yourself so completely.

Jenni tried to move first, shifting her torso with every intention of pulling out and creating space.

At the first movement, you clamped your limbs around her, whining as she shifted inside.

Soothing hands were slow to stroke at your skin. When Jenni spoke, it was the quietest you’d ever heard her. A husky, mumbled thing just for you. “Be good. I want to see you come tonight.”

-----

one more to go!! this part and the next part are tied for being my favorites so do with that what you will :)

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