i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

i love abortion and i love divorce

today at work i rung up a customer and the total was 12.30 and i said “12:30, reminds me of a clock :)” and they kind of smiled at me with confusion and i was like “like the time on a clock, just reminds me of it… 12:30” and they said “i have no idea what you’re talking about…” with an expression of supreme pity and gentleness. after that was finished i turned to my coworker next to me and said “i just bombed so hard with this clock comment” and then realized the customer hadn’t moved and was still standing right next to me. if my fate continues down this path, the customer will probably read this tumblr post as well

if someone told me their pronouns were attack/helicopter I would just use them

ah yes they call me “No Queue” Jones because I post everything I reblog at once with no breaks in between and then vanish into the night for extended periods of inactivity

people who call manual labor boring CLEARLY havent considered the advantages of mindlessly operating a vibrating machine for hours every day

This might possibly be one of my favorite LITWTC moments in recent memory like I was trying my damndest not to cackle out loud while listening to it in my studio class. Just holy shit

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

Got the sudden feeling that will wood will drop something this summer

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

so i accidentally found this last night

Favorite mlp character (even if you haven't watched mlp you still need to pick one)/@i-send-you-random-asks

applejack and applebloom

”my best friend is so cool” ok well my best friend was a zen master AND he grew up to be a hot dog vendor

I think sometimes cbt is a load of bullshit but once in a while you'll just effortlessly parry a thought that's trying to make you spiral and it feels so good. I've done it like 4 times tonight.