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mikanotes · 18 days

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out of reach ft. baek harin x gn!reader 2.1k words warnings: nervous breakdown, implied manipulation and bullying, reader nd harin are Slightly toxic, smoking, not really proofread Sorry!

author’s note: finally watched pyramid game! harin is so dear to me i love her. anyways here’s this

Clouds of smoke and overpriced cigarettes. The faint smell of perfume, struggling to cover the overwhelming, biting scent of tobacco. The sound of a lighter clicking shut, and a disdainful laugh. Condescending. The very image of a typical rich, high-school bully.

Then she sighs, softly, and it all changes.

The smoke dissipates to reveal a gentler expression (though the void in her eyes cannot be hidden), and the cigarette smell seems to leave with the passing breeze. She smiles softly and relaxes her shoulders. “I’m expecting great things from you.” she says, hiding a don’t you dare disappoint in between her words. She chuckles quietly to herself and turns on her heel. The school princess.

“Let’s go.” she says, her tone on the edge of something hurried. Like her facade, though perfectly constructed and practiced, might threaten to break if she stays any longer. You don’t reply but push yourself off of the wall to walk at her side when she strolls past where you were waiting.

The moment you’re far away enough from that hidden corner by the school entrance, Harin tenses again. You look down and see her thumb pressing its nail into her palm’s skin. Into flesh, at this rate. “Harin.” you call. She blinks out of her thoughts and turns her gaze to you. “What is it?”

“I’m thinking.” she replies honestly, bits of that kind demeanor slowly crumbling to reveal a more honest, yet possibly less furious side to her. One you’re more acquainted with.

“You do that too much.” you heave a deep sigh, “Seriously. Have you had a moment to breathe at all this week?”

Baek Harin is calculating. Always calculating each of her moves— Every interaction with all of her classmates, her family, her past present and future, the adults at her school. She carefully reviews the way she presents herself down to the detail. And now, she calculates everything Seong Suji does, everyone she interacts with, everyone around her, everything she does truthfully and all she does that seems fake— add more to the list.

That’s just a recipe for disaster. But you’ve also known her for long enough to know that having a calm mind free of worries and overthinking is a privilege Harin hasn’t had since her early childhood years. The way she functions now is her own idea of normal, and it has been for much too long to even consider the idea of changing. So you don’t try to change it. But you try to calm her down, when she allows you to attempt it.

“I’m breathing fine.” she scoffs slightly, “I can’t afford not to think. Especially not…” she trails off like she’s remembered something, and you frown.

She reaches for her pillbox but it escapes her grasp, falling on the concrete. You reach over to grab it but she’s quicker than you. The moment the thing is in her hand, she opens it and shakes three vitamin tabs into her palm, before freezing in place.

You slow down and stop in your tracks, barely a meter back, then slowly approach her. Her eyes are flitting between the box and the pills themselves, her lip trembling as if struggling to get a word out. You start reaching out towards her but she suddenly throws all of the vitamins back into their little chamber. She clicks the pillbox close and puts it back into her pocket, then fumbles to get something else.

“Harin.”

She finally manages to find what she was seemingly so desperate to find, and opens the pack of cigarettes. She grabs one and shakily sets it between her lips, before repeating the whole searching process for her lighter.

“Harin.”

Once the golden thing’s in her hand, she clicks to light up a flame, once, twice, three times, to no avail. You swear her hand is beginning to shake.

“Baek Harin!”

“Fuck.”

She spits the cigarette to the ground and nearly crushes the rest of the pack in her hand. Her teeth bite into her lip to stifle a scream of frustration, you guess, and she goes back to digging her nails into the flesh of her hand.

You slowly set a hand on her shoulder and she lets you, though she does look much too lost in her own head to register anything other than the ground she’s been blankly staring at. “…Let’s go home.” you say, tone softer.

She nods in agreement.

Baek Harin’s definition of a home has changed several times over the years. Haneul Orphanage, the house of the family she was adopted into, and yet neither ever truly gave her the feeling that it was what home was supposed to feel like. She isn’t relieved when she steps foot into her house, she just feels more at ease to continue preparing her so-called schemes. Still, it is a house, her family lives there, and she never lacked anything. It’s a fine place to be.

But when she’s here, in comparison…

“I’m home.” you sigh as you take off your shoes. Harin sees your cat walk past the entrance hallway and stop to look at you, clearly waiting for something. And when you look at it, you smile and go pet it. It’s just that easy for them to get what they want in life, huh? She feels your gaze on her and looks at you.

“What?”

“Are you planning to stay at the door?”

She blinks. Right. She unclasps her shoes and slides them off her feet before she steps inside. She barely notices she’s breathing out a sigh of relief before a wave of exhaustion hits her. It makes her wonder for a moment if she was right to take the pillbox earlier. Maybe she forgot to take them during the day? She had so much to do. Did she? If she’s forgetful about this, she could be about much more important things….

She’s reminded of her near-breakdown just earlier and holds back from picking at her nails. She rarely reaches the brink of losing it this badly. She really needs to do something about the direction the game is going towards, or else she fears she might break at the wrong time.

“Harin.” you call, bringing her out of her thoughts, and she realizes you already walked to your kitchen, and you’re peeking at the corner of the wall to see her. “Do you want something?”

She stares at you a bit coldly, almost frowning. It’s clear she’s not entirely out of her own head, yet.

“Cola.” she says, “Do you have any?”

You scoff. “When do I not?”

She takes off her small backpack and walks further inside. This small place… She would dislike it. She’s not one to be picky, but growing up in a luxury house for nearly ten years makes you dislike cramped spaces. At least she does. But she’s used to this apartment having you in it, and many times in the past, her, whenever she needed a place to go to that wasn’t her own house.

Sometimes she thinks maybe she isn’t grateful enough to have you. Sometimes.

“My game feels like it’s falling apart.” she sighs, walking into the living room. She plops down on the couch, tossing her bag aside and taking out her phone. “This girl is actively trying to ruin all of it.”

“Seong Suji?” you ask from the kitchen. There’s a hint of something in your voice that she hasn’t heard before. It’s sour and new.

She wants to hear it again.

“Yes. Seong Suji…” she trails off, “I swear even having 24/7 cameras on her wouldn’t help me stop her from doing all this.” she scoffs.

You hum in response, then it grows quiet. Harin feels a smile pull at her lips. She can practically see how much thoughts this small conversation provoked in your mind. Seong Suji? Is she the problem? She is. But is she in this case, too?

She’s curious.

“Still, I guess she’s a bit cute. Interesting, too. I’ve never had anyone stand up to me this much before.”

“Yeah?” you answer blankly, joining her. You set down the two glasses of cola on the coffee table just harshly enough for it to cause an audible clang. “Maybe because you're so used to having everyone bow to you and your every requests?”

“You don’t.”

“Don’t I?”

“You sound bitter.” Harin laughs, setting down her phone on her lap and propping up her elbow on the armrest. She sets her index under her chin and looks at you as you rummage through your backpack. The glimpse she gets of your face confirms you indeed seem unnerved about something. Cute… No, this is more than cute.

“I’m not.” you sigh, visibly straightening up. Your face relaxes and you glance towards her. “What’s with the staring?”

“Nothing. You’re nice to look at.”

You roll your eyes and grab your laptop from your bag and set it down on the table. Her eyes move to focus on it and she furrows her eyebrows. She didn’t know you still carried it around. She had to buy you one when it fell and the screen cracked, before. Irresponsible… Not that she minds buying for you. Not that you ask, either.

“Info on her friends. From other schools, I mean.”

Harin blinks, registering what you mean. “On Suji?” she mutters, eyes narrowing at the laptop. She tilts her head towards you with a small pout. “I never asked you that, did I?” she chuckles a little, leaning over to grab her glass.

This could be useful, but this doesn’t work.

You shake your head slightly. “Didn't.”

“So you’re just playing assistant, are you?” she huffs, “Thanks… But don’t do it again.”

You frown. “Why?”

“I don’t want you to get involved. You don’t even attend my school. It’ll only be trouble.”

— Besides, she doesn’t want you to be associated with this game and place as a whole more than needed. Just having you near the school is enough to make her stomach hurt. She has to have you be away from it all, at least. If not, she’ll feel like she’s still in it even when she’s with you. Then she won’t be able to sigh in relief once she steps inside your place anymore.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I get in trouble for you.”

“Mhm.” she laughs as she drinks, then turns to look at you once she’s done. The emotion leaves her face. “Don’t do it again.” she repeats, tone laced with hints of a threat. She means it.

“That doesn’t work on me, Harin.”

You stare at her and she doesn’t feel like looking away, either. You’re stubborn. She’s worse. This isn’t gonna end, and if it does, you might argue. She doesn’t feel like arguing.

“Do you like me?“ she decides to ask, just to throw you off a little.

“Are you insane?” you bite back, not missing a beat. Her smile deepens. She blinks away and leans back into the couch, sipping on her drink more.

“Not really.”

“False.”

“That’s rude?” she laughs, looking at you again. You raise your eyebrows and smile slightly, leaning to grab your glass.

“Too bad.” you say, before sipping on the cola. It’s a bit nostalgic. Drinking cola under dim lights when it feels like the world is only you two. This happened before, when she felt like her family’s very presence was suffocating, and locking herself in her room wasn’t enough— Or much earlier, when you were just kids, and you’d buy each other cola flavored popsicles. This kind of comfort makes her want more. She almost forgets about the game, for a moment.

The sour air in your voice and on your features seems to be gone now, so she figures the atmosphere is just as calming for you. Though she did enjoy seeing that look on your face… Your genuine, soft smile is one she enjoys a little bit more.

Now that she’s getting comfortable here, she doesn’t want to leave. She’ll take all the time she can get. She knows you don’t mind her staying. You may be above the rest when it comes to telling her off and not doing everything she asks, but you’re not above allowing nearly anything that helps her. And if letting her stay here, at the cost of possibly getting a death glare from her family members and irritating questions about any trouble she could’ve possibly caused for you, can help her?

Then she knows you wouldn’t refuse. Even if you pretend you could. She knows how important she is to you.

“I’m staying the night.”

“When did I say you could?”

“You didn’t have to.” she hums, reaching over to move strands of your hair away from your face. She smiles. “I know I can.”

#baek harin x reader #baek ha rin x reader #harin x reader #pyramid game x reader #x reader

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ttullp · 1 year

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baby, i’m jealous ! oneshot operation name pure love, go eunhyuk x reader this has been on my drafts for so long time to let it go ig

eunhyuk had arrived a bit earlier then expected. you both had agreed to meet up at the train station a few hours after school to go watch a movie together. the initial plan was to go together immediately after school, but lets just say something abruptly came up that you had delay it by a few hours.

he was aimlessly scrolling through his phone, as he was trying to think of a reason as to why you suddenly delayed your plan. as if on cue, the song that reminded him of you played on his earphones. his lips slightly quirked upwards, remembering the times where you both had just started the relationship. the times where you would introduce him to the songs that piqued your interests, the songs you would both listen to on the bus on the way to school.

he looked at the time, it was already 3.55 pm. the movie you both were going to see is at 4.30, and the agreed time for you to meet each other at the train station was 3.45 pm. 'i guess she still has something to deal with' was what he thought as he looked around the station. everyone was busy minding their own business and tending to their own lives.

once again, eunhyuk finds himself staring at the people passing in and out of the entrance, hoping to find a familiar figure amidst all the crowd, you. just as he was lost in daze, he spotted you trying to go through the flock of people finding their way out

eunhyuk stepped towards your direction and reached out his hand with the intention of pulling you out to a less crowded place.

he grabbed your right hand and dragged you to a less cramped space. he wondered if you suddenly gained more weight overnight, it was just the fact that he didn't recall you being this particular weight when he had pulled you to his side.

"ah, eunhyuk! you're here already" you beamed as the familiar sight of his facial features come into vision.

before eunhyuk could reply to your greeting, he noticed a hand clutching onto your left hand, a male's. looking right past your shoulder was another familiar figure with eyes that match their blonde golden hair. even if he's wearing a cap, his features wear easy to distinguish.

"gee y/n, why'd you suddenly walked so fast" grumbled the said blonde

"baek dohwa." eunhyuk spat out coldly, glaring at him "what are you doing with my girlfriend and may i ask why you're grasping onto her hand so desperately?" emphasizing the word 'my'.

"well your girlfriend here insisted on me coming" dohwa scoffed, also emphasizing the word 'your'.

eunhyuk could feel turmoil raging in his heart, the weird feeling he would feel whenever he sees you being with someone else other than him. was it sadness he felt? anger? was he angry that you decided to spend your time on with someone else?

he didn't know. from what he could tell, baek dohwa was nothing but a playboy.

"uhm-" you stepped in the middle of both of them "eunhyuk if we don't get going were going to miss our train" eunhyuk gritted his teeth "lets go."

you trailed behind you boyfriend, looking back and waving a quite goodbye to dohwa. dohwa waved back at you with a smirk.

glancing back at your raven haired partner, his dissatisfied expression definitely noticeable.

"are you mad?" you questioned "no" he answered, a hidden tone that somewhat made it sound as if he was mad.

the sound of both your footsteps being heard amidst the bustling crowds, you checked time on your phone, it was already 4.05

both of you had probably missed the train at this point, oh well.

you stopped in your tracks, pulling eunhyuk gently by the hand, also stopping him. your eyes met his gaze, his eyebrows quirking up, 'why'd you stop?' clearly written on his face, as if he's annoyed

"you know dohwa's my cousin, right?" you sighed, as if the blonde being your cousin isn't a known fact going around your school, your boyfriend just so happens to not know

"what?" confusion now painted all over his facial features yep. he definitely didn't know.

"i was heading towards here and bumped into him on the way, he decided to tag along even when i told him to mind his own business" you scoffed, being used to his antics by now

"oh i see.." he replied, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, contemplating what to say next "so are we going to catch that movie, or..?"

you chuckled, grabbing a hold of his hand "sure, lets go"

#flwr ✿#chel writes!! ♡#i dont like the ending #this has been on my drafts for so damn long #eunhyuk x reader #otl #operation true love #baek dohwa #go eunhyuk

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milkbreadtoast · 24 days

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(OC) boyfriends..... 🤭🧡��

#my art #OC #baek siwon #(is the honey blonde one)#PURPLE EYES DOES NOT HAVE A NAME YET....#(idek where to start tbh lol like... HOW DO U NAME A WEREWOLF FOX MONSTER-#thats his default human form but yeah hes not human #siwon is human tho! just to confirm KDJDK #anyway im kicking my feet n giggling #HOPE U GUYS LIKE THEM TOO #also im laughing bc its so obv i have a visual type when it comes to ships #LIKE U CAN SEE THE SIMILARITIES W CEDJESS... (droopy eyes x sharp eyes... height diff...#OH ALSO BLONDE/BLACK HAIR YAOI ALWAYS WINS #I FINALLY MADE ONE OF MY OWN LMFAOOA #giving 💜 two-toned hair was a good decision tbh #bc i had been stuck on whether to give him dark or light hair... until i realized i could combine him <3 #*combine them #O BTW... i mean the chibi confirms it but #can u tell that siwon is the bigger/taller one...🫣#golden retriever coded...#OH BTW CLOTHES R PLACEHOLDER!!!#SRRY IDK HOW TO DESIGN FASHION EXCUSE THE GOOFY ASS OUTFIT #ITS JUST A PLACEHOLDER TO SHOW THAT HE DRESSES GOTH...#i feel like maybe he has a cool assassin-like uniform normally #but if he were to dress casually... hed go for goth/emo/punk-like clothes FLDNDJ #could picture him playing guitar or bass or smth

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achilleussorrow · 23 days

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i refuse to believe he knows anything about fashion but here we are

i bet he wears tgose fuckass pink flip flops everywhere

#no home #no home webtoon #eunyung baek #baek eunyung #he has more than one outfit in his closet now #my baby #anyways the fact that hes wearing a cardigain says a lot about who he is as a man #idk #im delusional #he knows he looks good

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cherryblossomchronicles · 15 days

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You know one thing that truly was a happy surprise in Queen of Tears? Hyun Woo's friendships and the loyalty they carried.

I've seen a lot of people praising Secretary Na but you also have to acknowledge that Hyun Woo has some really amazing and steadfast friends.

At the start of the show, all his friends were playing the russian roulette of who will handle his divorce case. It was given that it will be one of them, it was also given that they will have to withstand the might of the entire Hong family, which isn't something anyone can survive. But. Although they were scared, they didn't drop it or flee to save their career. They understood that it was something you do for your friend, even if you want to kill the said friend for putting you in the situation. There was also the scene where Yang Ki legitimately wanted to flee in the face of Vincenzo as opposing attorney, but just cursed and went after Hyun Woo. He was really scared of the situation and wanted to be anywhere but there but refrained from fleeing only to support his friend. Then there is also the scene where all his three friends come as his attorney to defend Hyun Woo in the company's hearing for malpractice case. They combined all their specialization to figure out something to get him out of the situation. This is specially monumental because we can see in the show, how every friend or family member related to the Hong's abandoned them in the time of need. Them still sticking with Hyun Woo while he is in middle of such scandal says a lot about them and how much they value loyalty. Yes, there were times where we wanted to bash Yang Ki's head for straying Hyun Woo when it came to Hae In but he did come through as a true friend what with him helping Hyun Woo all the time throughout the investigation.

It's a refreshing counterpoint to the negativity that often surrounds Hyun Woo. In a world where self-interest seems to reign supreme, his friends demonstrate the power of genuine loyalty.

#baek hyun woo #kim yang ki #I am glad hyun woo has the friends that he does #the ride or die type of friends are hard to find and should be kept close at all times #queen of tears #kdrama

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parisofpeoplez · 2 months

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The more we get to see Hae-in's personality in these episodes, the more I love her!

#she might come across as cold but she has a warm heart somewhere in there #love her #queen of tears #kim jiwon #hong hae in #kim soo hyun #baek hyun woo

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monwillica · 5 days

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Happy Baekhyun Day 😘

#didn't finish my lonsdaleite drawing in time so ill finally post sexy baek who has been in my drafts folder for far too long #from back when i was doing these like digital oil portraits #baekhyun fanart #happy baekhyun day #exo fanart #byun baekhyun

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rievriev · 28 days

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i love them sm man they're so silly

#ik cm has a black uniform post reincarnation #i just wanted to see them both in the white one #he's asking for money (as always #baek cheon is sick of him #baek cheon #chung myung #rotmhs #rotbb #return of the blossoming blade #return of the mount hua sect #my art #fanart

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inpursuitofnunchi · 26 days

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🤝🏽

#pls help him lmao #look at his confused face #🤣🤣🤣🤣#personified pikachu face #mans getting whiplashed on a daily basis he has no idea what is going on in his life anymore #Queen of tears #netflix #netflix drama #kdrama #tvn drama #kim soo hyun #kim ji won #baek hyun woo #hong hae in

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fmet · 7 months

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I always go back to that moment in 206 when Eunyung has just left his family home for the last time and he calls out to Haejoon and Juwan, but there’s no answer. They had to leave, and Eunyung realized that for however long, he had been experiencing that confrontation with his dad (and mother) essentially without allies. Everything that he had done and said, with the perceived security of knowing there were people in the other side of that door who could hear them, was suddenly reassessed under a vulnerable and isolated lens, rather than a secure and supported one. He soon learns afterward that they were forced to leave by security because they were accused of loitering, but the gap in time that he probably spent thinking they left of their own free will while he was facing off his parents isn’t something that can be easily coped with.

Eunyung “saved” himself from his parents, and it wouldn’t have been as immediately liberating as it had been for him if someone else had forced that separation. But the adjacent people in his life that he (at least previously) saw as a support network and frame of reference for normal/abnormal relationships are just as invaluable as his own introspection and bravery during this arc.

His being taken care of by Juwan and Haejoon, where he has soup bought for him and he’s chauffeured around; his conversation with Marie, where he gets to witness the ramifications of domestic abuse as an outsider; and the countless conversations he had with Haejoon over this arc, where Haejoon insists to him that what he was and is going through is abnormal. By getting to sympathize with a fellow abuse survivor and by growing adjusted to having people like Haejoon advocate for him, he develops the beginning of an expectation that he can be understood and supported by these people. Not only that, but that he should be, or at least it’s something that he should strive for when given the opportunity. This perceived support ultimately culminated in him being able to say the things he did to his dad. He was the one who took that final step, there’s no denying the courage he displayed doing what he did, but it would have been impossible for him to focus this courage into a clear and aspired effort without getting a glimpse of what he had been missing growing up: predictable love and empathy.

Emphasis on predictable, because from what we know of Eunyung’s home life and the people that have supported him in the past, every ounce of love and grace he received was conditional and temporary. His abuse being unpredictable, the people who loved and supported him frequently withdrawing when they realize that he’s an actual person with idiosyncrasies and needs, and that advocating/caring for him takes real effort, and the defensive mindset needed to grow up in an abusive household would have warped his view of people’s rejection or acceptance regardless. Learning to expect that Juwan and Haejoon would be there when he needed them to be isn’t just unexpected of Eunyung: it’s juxtaposed to everything that he’s learned growing up on the streets. It’s probably only his being younger (i.e., more capable of change) that granted him the flexibility to expect care from someone again.

So, the realization that Haejoon and Juwan weren’t there when he thought they were dramatically shifted his perspective on their support, Haejoon’s in particular. Just after beginning to develop this alien expectation, something happens that allows him to dismiss it. Relying on these people in an emotional way has to be done very carefully, sparingly, in his mind, because at any moment, whether by freak chance or someone’s own animosity, lack of caring, etc, it could be ripped away from him. Similar to the unpredictablility of his father and mothers behavior, he approaches other people’s emotional states with the same fleetedness. If he can’t understand the way people think, if he can’t guarantee he’ll always be able to abide by their guidelines for humane treatment, or, now, if in Haejoon and Juwan’s case, he thinks his nature is incompatible with theirs, he will deliberately withdraw himself from them.

The same way he continues to reminisce and hold onto the haunted dorm as the visage of a fleeting home environment, he considers emotional homes such as Haejoon with that same impermanence. Only now, with concrete “proof” that it isn’t permanent, with Haejoon and Juwan not being there when Eunyung thought they would be, it’s much easier to distance from that emotional home as a way to protect himself. The title of “emotional home” can even be ascribed to inanimate objects and concepts: his childhood passion for theatre, his talent in cooking, his hairstyle. So many of the things he holds dear he is also deathly afraid of having. Having to decide between deprecative abstinence, fearing even more having lost it after experiencing it firsthand; versus reckless overindulgence, after experiencing loss in the past and thus losing the emotional sincerity he carries for something; summarizes a lot of his behavior, and it can especially be seen in the current arc. He holds off on signing up for theater until he’s racing against the clock (221), he deliberately distances himself from Haejoon and Juwan because he doesn’t consider himself as “adjusted” of a person as they are; but robs bald HR teacher dry when he takes him to eat and laughs at his efforts to connect with him. The latter being juxtaposed to his middle school-selfs response, because prior trauma from his middle school teacher jaded him to the concept of adults, and especially teachers, advocating for him unconditionally.

Eunyung’s deliberate absence from Haejoon’s life is both in his efforts to protect Haejoon’s body and to protect his own. In that same light, his hesitance in following his passions, while inadvertently mocking the systems of support he’s been betrayed by previously (teachers, parents, etc) are all in efforts to protect himself emotionally. If he never fails after trying, if he dismisses all outreach as insincere, if he’s never reminded of what he’s lost and how it hurt him, he doesn’t have to be hurt again. It looks like with the rest of this “Eunyung Baek Again” arc, we’ll probably witness more proof of this fleeting view of support/commiseration via this middle school teacher, portrayed in how he treats his high school HR teacher now. In the opposite vein, trying to actualize his passion for theatre (and being successful in doing so), seeing new and old people in his life advocate for him, and maybe even acknowledging that his HR teacher could be looking out for him, are just a few of the many details that could begin to deconstruct his emotional lines of defense. I’m not caught up with the spoiler chapters, but I hope (and really believe) that this will be the case.

#no home #no home manhwa #Eunyung baek #this has been in my drafts for almost a month I need to take it out #last paragraph is so shoddily written sorry😭😭😭#Eunyung deserves like a whole book written about him he’s so real

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