#Darqua | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mimiplaysgames · 5 years

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The Ocean On His Shoulders (1/2)

Pairing: Terra/Aqua Rating: T Word Count: 4,272

Summary: She’s been waiting for him for so many years. When he finally sees her, Terra realizes that instead of saving her from the Realm of Darkness, he must save her from herself.

A/N: THERE ARE NO SPOILERS IN THIS FIC - only things that were shown in trailers and my own ideas. So I got this prompt from @steadyknight that went something like this: “A semi-fixed Terra finally has his heart back... But now to save Aqua dearest, heartbroken from her ongoing Darkling transformation, he sees that the only way is to sacrifice that which he longed for so long.” Or in other words - “break his heart into pieces.” WHOOO there are some serious consequences in such a prompt, and I had to actually break this outline into two parts. This part addresses the prompt directly - the other half addresses its meaning. I do hope it’s enjoyable! Thank you for the prompt, it was quite a challenge to get a vision for it. I basically also had to make peace with how salty I am over how it seems that Sora will be saving her, LMAO.

Title taken from Gary Schyman’s piece for Bioshock.

Terra knew what he would be facing. They told him what to expect, where to find her, and how to get there. They told him to prepare himself. It was probably going to be painful to see her that way, and he retorted that saving her was his responsibility and his alone. The journey so far had been a never-ending war, and a nagging thought at the back of his mind wondered if this place was sentient enough to understand what he was trying to do. The hordes of Heartless he’d been bludgeoning the entire way were means to stop him from getting to her.

And if the Realm of Darkness truly wanted to keep her, the kinds of monstrosities he fought were proof that it meant its threats. Which was part of the problem: she was now the Realm, and the Realm was her.

Put simply, she wasn’t waiting anymore. She was lurking.

Riku and the King had given him enough details so that he’d have a sense of what that meant. Yet, once the dirt he was stepping on finally gave way into sand, and he heard the crashing of waves, and the moon’s light illuminated the beach, he succumbed to what he knew was false hope. Maybe she would agree to go with him. Maybe she’d be comforted to finally see him again, instead of strangers. Maybe she would smile.

Heartless awaited him on that small beach, but they did not attack. They stared him down with those bright yellow eyes that served as their only means of expression on their otherwise impression-less faces: blank and feral. They simply acknowledged his existence as if it was the most important thing to them. And as though they had all shared the same thought, they slithered backward into the water, forsaking him.

Not once did they break their stare from him. They sank, their glowing eyes keeping watch on him until they faded from his sight, until the murky water eventually forced what little light they had through their sockets to disappear. He couldn’t shake the sense that they were still there observing him – he just couldn’t see them anymore.

She wasn’t here, though. He was alone on that beach, and he’d have the sense to start calling for her when a gripping feeling in his throat stopped him. The water. Something was wrong with the water.

The waves were alluring enough, but it was an invitation to suffocate. The rock formations that hugged along the shoreline twisted and stretched out unnaturally. It almost looked like they were meant to be something else, as though they had died the moment they were born.

And then his heart beat. She arrived.

The moonlight brightened the surface of the water enough for a shadow to grow, an open trapdoor to the depths below. Darkness swirled out of this opening like smoke. Two hands crept out, grabbing onto the water as if it was solid ground, and she pulled herself out.

She was merely a shadow, but he knew it was her. Call it hearts being connected: he knew who was walking toward him, the moon basking over a black silhouette of a woman walking on water, her steps sounding as if she was stepping on puddles.

The part that hurt the most was knowing he couldn’t hug her hello. He stepped forward as well, but stopped. He kept his feet on the sand, just inches short of where the water massaged the earth. Everything in his body screamed at him not to take another one further, as if the sea would swallow him in one gulp. Even with his entire suit of armor to protect him, Terra expected it would be torn to shreds once he was in.

It was only when she stood directly in front of him, her own feet never leaving the waterside, that the shadow dissipated and he finally looked upon her beautiful face. Scarred by golden eyes, hair that turned whiter the further away it grew from its roots, and skin that was so charred and so violet, she was clearly turning into something else. The darkness floated off of her as though her skin breathed it. She wasn’t human anymore, even if she looked it, and this precious girl he’d been in love with for years stood there with all the evidence that showed how much she rotted away for all this time waiting.

His nose burned and tears streamed down his face. His helmet was a blessing, hiding the guilt he wore on his face. He didn’t want to provoke her anger with such a pitiful look – he already knew well enough this was his fault. The least he could have done was have the strength to tell her not to follow him as he fell into darkness; he should have been the one to turn into a monster instead of her paying such a price.

Aqua, who once opened her bedroom door when he knocked late one night. He had hoped she was awake to talk away his worries about the upcoming Mark of Mastery Exam. And she welcomed him with a big smile on her face despite how tired she really was. And they talked. For hours. About anything. Until they fell asleep on her floor, dragging her blankets and pillows down with them, just like they did when they were children.

Aqua now stood there with a look as if seeing him was the greatest offense she could have experienced.

“Terra,” she said with an anger so mute and a face as placid as it could get with such furrowed brows, it almost seemed as though she was trying to stop herself from ravaging him. “It’s been a long time.”

It was hot inside the armor, sweat dripping down the back of his neck. The mucus in his nose didn’t allow him to breathe, and he instead tried to do so through his teeth in order to calm himself. “A-Aqua,” he nearly sobbed. “I-”

“You’re very late.” She stressed that last word, as if to get across how long it had been since they’ve last seen each other.

He was a head taller than her, but he felt as small as a puppy shivering in fear. He hung his head. “I know. I know I am.”

“You know, but you never came.” Her jaw quivered, and she mustered every ounce of control to speak further. “You don’t actually know anything. You don’t know sadness. You don’t know loneliness. You don’t know what it feels like to find the comfort in surrendering to your fate.”

“Aqua,” he pleaded. “I can’t pretend to know anything about what you’ve been through and there is no apology that could ever make up for it. I could give you a million regrets and it wouldn’t change a thing and I’m sorry I can’t do more. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” His voice broke, and she had enough mercy to give him time to find it again. “But I’m here to at least do something. To help you.”

“Why do you think I’m like this? How dare you show up here? Now? The only reason I’m here was to give you a chance at freedom. You should have had my back.”

“I can take you home. I can take you back to the Realm of Light.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she raised her voice a notch, without losing her efforts to remain calm. “I’ve hurt myself for years misleading myself in faith. Believing that you or someone out there would take the time to find me.” Her face contorted into fury, her voice nearly growling. “You will rot here, and I’ll show you thirteen years’ worth of misery.”

With that, she lost her self-control. Shadows gripped him like whips, and with a swing of her arm and a yell, she propelled him out onto the water. He hit the surface with a crashing thud, rolling over.

He didn’t sink. It was as if there was hidden glass tucked itself just beneath. It must have been his armor that stopped him from descending, protecting him from whatever was down there waiting.

She summoned a Keyblade – a stolen one. And she skated across the water, closing the distance in between them in one graceful boost, using her momentum to land a sickening blow. He dodged, the water he was standing on bursting out like a geyser the moment she hit it.

“You have every right to be angry!” he called as he managed to get on his feet.

Her face contorted when she heard that. Anger, apologies, help, loneliness – all of these reminders exposed her pain, like jabbing at an open gash. And like a wounded animal desperately trying to survive, she immediately went after him.

He didn’t want to fight her. He didn’t want to touch a hair, or summon his Keyblade in defense. He didn’t come all the way down here just to harm her further than what she’s already been through. The unfairness of it all.

So he ran in circles, dodging her attacks in the hopes that she would get tired. But he was prey that kept getting caught by a predator who knew better. With every stumble, he cast a weak Cure just to keep himself going.

Aqua didn’t give him time to breathe, looming over him with that Keyblade raised.

“I can’t believe this,” he muttered to himself, summoning his own to block the attack.

She stumbled back from his counter, taking a moment of her own to collect herself. It wasn’t a powerful block, but it broke her patterns enough to snap her out of them.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Aqua,” he said, keeping his Keyblade in hand but lowering it as if to mitigate the threat.

Her glare was icy. “You already have,” she said calmly, right before a glowing shadow developed around her. In an instant, several copies of her paraded around the water.

All of them were phantoms and were untouchable when he swung. Yet they had a sustenance, throwing powerful shocks that would bring him down on his knees, again and again.

Then the real one lunged at him, and he barely dodged without getting smeared by her direct hit. She was swift, and picked herself up quickly after the miss to follow up on another strike - until Keyblades clashed and grinded against each other, him on his knees and her towering over him.

She wasn’t stronger than him, yet his weapon vibrated from her force. Magic. She relied on it to build up her stamina and control her technique. This was a method she always used against his sheer brawn, and even in darkness she was the same. However, if he continued this game of cat and mouse, he would lose soon. As much as he didn’t want to cause her pain, failing this fight wouldn’t help her either.

As if reading his mind, she said, “you will drown here with me.”

That was it.

“I will not!” He put muscle into it and pushed her off of him. He stood up tall. “You’re coming with me… even if I have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming.”

As a taller, bigger fighter, Terra’s methods were all about closing in on his opponent with the goal of striking them down, accompanied by such a long, massive Keyblade to support his approach. This was why Aqua developed to be such a nimble gymnast, relying on evading and magic to balance out where she was weak. She’d hit him where he was open, countering quickly enough so that he didn’t have the time to react. Using magic to cast finishing blows and to overwhelm him.

But that Aqua was of the past. This one had new tricks up her sleeve. She had her phantoms. She had control over the water as she commanded it to shift under his feet. She warped. The power the darkness gave to her spells tripled their robustness.

And yet, she wasn’t the only one to learn something new.

Years of struggling under Xehanort’s control gave Terra the time to really customize Master Eraqus’ expertise - chain whips, designed to enslave darkness and regain control of the battlefield. Advanced and powerful, Terra had normally struggled with such an ability, whereas Aqua learned it with ease. But if light was a part of the heart, and the Keyblade merely an extension of that, being separated from both taught Terra the true meaning of maintaining his own will amidst despair.

He now had the skill to control these chains with only his mind, and he summoned them. They spread over the surface of the water, illuminating everything in a warm, orange glow. Every phantom they passed through combusted in an instant. They rose when they reached the horizon, only to circle back and dome over the seashore. And they closed in on her, wrapping around her in a spiral.

He didn’t know if it was denial that made him refuse to accept what she had become: to see these chains of light trap her so easily, constricting over her body like she was darkness incarnate. Light hurt her too much.

To soften the blow, he used powers of nothingness instead. He stabbed the water with the tip of his Keyblade and left it to stand erect on its own. It glimmered, and orbs of light surrounded her. These were explosives, a warp within the fabric of space and time that Xemnas would pull out to power his attacks. A Nobody’s powers, left behind in his body.

When enough of them materialized, Terra slammed a fist to his palm, and the orbs shot at her like lasers, one after another. She yelled from the pain, and he nearly stopped the attack short from hearing it. But he told himself to have nerve. The darkness wouldn’t have her, and he needed to win this fight to make sure he saw that through.

She dropped to her knees, King Mickey’s Keyblade dissipating. She clutched at her side, and all was quiet enough to hear the rhythm of the waves.

With a choke, Terra ran to meet her at eye level. He removed his helmet to see her face to face. To see her with every color that made her who she was, without the tint of the visor. Water dripped from the strands of her hair, and she gazed into the depths of the sea, defeated.

“Aqua, I’m so sorry.” He wondered if this was yet another throwaway apology. Sorry for hurting her. Again.

She slowly raised her head and gazed at him, her golden eyes soothed by seeing his face. She didn’t speak at first, but merely studied him. “How did I do?” she asked.

How did I do? This was a question they asked each other after every spar. Every practice. Even after exams. This was their way of keeping up with their progress. To see where they could improve. To take their chances to praise the other. It was to help them both succeed and become Masters together. It was about making sure they could reach that shared dream without leaving the other behind.

How did I do? It was proof that Aqua was still in there, somewhere. That she remembered.

“You really had me sweating there,” he said, forcing a chuckle. “Only you can make the darkness look that scary.” He paused a bit, deciding to take the risk of teasing her, like he normally would when they used to be happy. “You could use some more light, though.”

He hoped it would make her smile. Please, please, make her smile.

Her eyes scattered around, as if to process what he said. “I’m so tired,” she replied with a breath, her voice low and sad.

“Then I’ll carry you back,” he said without missing a beat. “You can rest while I take you home.”

She slowly shook her head, as if disagreeing with what he said, and gazed into the moonlight that observed the two of them in the horizon beyond. Shadows from beneath her swirled upward, and they spread enough to make him gasp and step back.

“That’s not what I meant,” she said, and she fell over, splashing into the water until she sank.

“No, no, no, no.” He darted to where she stood, digging through the water but all he did was swipe at glass as he saw her body sink lower and lower until she started to fade away. The armor still protected him from sinking. “You can’t have her!”

He dismissed the armor and immediately dropped into the depths, swimming after her. At some point, it stopped existing as an ocean, and gradually changed into empty air, as though it was bottomless. And she sank, her eyes closed and her body relaxed.

It was hard.

He grabbed her and held her close with one firm grip before pivoting to swim back up. The moonlight from this point was so faint, it couldn’t give him any way to see what was down here.

He could join her in these depths. It was easier to give up and let it take over. This way he would still be with her for the rest of time. Sad or angry, it was a better existence than to be separated from her at all.

She was heavy.

These doubts were invasive. He should be fighting for the sake of setting her free. His thoughts betrayed her when he promised himself he’d rescue her, and he would find Ventus along with her. With every stroke upward, her weight doubled, trying to pull him back down. Until his shoulders ached. Until it was hard for him to breathe from all the energy spent in swimming up. To swim up. Swim up. Up.

She was in his arms and he could win her back if he just kept his chin up and his legs kicking. Almost there.

The surface. Something pulled at his ankles and tried to get him under again. He let it take him for a second just to gather energy to swim up. Repeat.

The shore. He crawled onto solid, reliable ground, her body carried by one arm. He could feel the waves hit his legs, but it was finally over.

She lay there, immobile, her eyes gently closed. She was breathing so quickly she panted like a dog. The violet on her skin spread, threatening to take her over.

He turned her over and wiped cold water and wet sand from her face. “Please wake up,” he said. “I know you still have light in there. It led me to you. I couldn’t find you without…” He fought back tears. “There has to be a way to fix this.”

She had no response, no movement. Just breathing like an animal.

“Please tell me what I can do to fix this.” Tears poured out from his eyes. “I wanted to make things right. I swear I did. I should have done it sooner, I should have found the strength to be there when you needed me. Please don’t go.”

He saw her continue to fall to darkness, the way the shadows took every inch of her. If she had any light left, it was going to disappear completely.

He had been on this same brink, many years before. Possession was a technique made possible by suppressing the light within someone’s heart, by destroying their connections with others and by giving them one option: to give up just to feel some ease.

Terra couldn’t save himself when it happened to him. What had saved him all these years - what kept him going and what helped him feel less alone - was the connection he had with his Master.

In death, a spiritual bond was made. A heart taking refuge inside another. Each time Xehanort came to convince Terra to snuff out the last bit of flame that kept his light ablaze, it was Eraqus who kept it burning. Eraqus who gave him the comfort and the encouragement to stay alive. To keep hoping for a chance to change things around.

Terra was alive because Eraqus’ heart was embedded in his own, proof that light shown brightest when he had support.

Aqua needed this, too.

The waves lapped over his ankles from behind. The shadows reached her neck, and were spreading over her chin.

Light was like a flame. It was warm, and with enough care and room to breathe, it would spread. It was cleansing, and without it, there would be no existence. Master Eraqus taught all of his early lessons on the Keyblade using stories that used fire as an analogy, with books that depicted colored sketches of flames, who would give to each other their own essence in case one of them started to flicker.

When one wielder stumbled in their path, the other would help them find their way again.

Terra had one choice. It was a forbidden act – never raise the Keyblade against the heart of another. Never threaten the heart of another. Never touch the heart of another. The heart was sacred and was the source of life. Unnamed damages could befall a person who would play with something so delicate and treasured.

If he attempted to release his own heart in order to place it in hers, he could very well turn into what she was. He could become corrupted beyond saving. The waves could grab him and drag him back down, to use him as a replacement.

Damn the consequences.

“I’m with you, Aqua.”

Terra raised his Keyblade and struck his own chest. The pain sheared at him: sharp and intense at first, a severe pull that tried to take his ribs out. He heard fabric tearing. But then he relaxed.

It was the most tempting, coaxing repose he could have asked for. His mind drifted into sleep, dreaming away his worries and fears. His body went limp and soft, every ache melting away. It was peaceful and cozy in the dark, where he didn’t have to remember a single thing or be aware that he had anything to do. He didn’t want it to end.

He woke up. The windows were incredibly tall, bordered by an intricate gold frame. So tall, that he figured he must be in a palace. Except he didn’t recognize where he was. Outside was a gathering of pine trees, rustling in the wind. It was sunny. But that didn’t give him a clue as to his location, either.

He was in a bed. The sheets were silky, the mattress luxuriously firm, the pillows soft as clouds. All of his muscles ached from too much sleep, and as much as he wanted to continue to doze off, he sat up. The room was enormous, fit for a prince, with furniture that showed off exquisite designs in bright colors with a fancy rug to match.

A girl sat on a chair next to him, her head resting on her arms as she leaned onto the mattress, sleeping away. Her hair was a vibrant blue color, so unique that he stared at her for a second. Which was weird. Normally, he didn’t pay mind to these sorts of details and preferred to keep his nose in business where it belonged. But with the way her bangs fell on her face, he just couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Heat rose to his cheeks. This was crazy, and he should get up. Except he wore nothing but a shirt and boxer briefs. Next to a sleeping, beautiful girl. He scrunched up his bedsheets around his hips to hide away his embarrassment.

She moved, grunting from her nap. Her eyes blinked open, revealing the color of a morning sky. They were large and bright, and he swore he could stare at them forever. Especially when she smiled. Now it was overwhelming.

“Terra, you’re awake!” She leaned forward, excited to see him. “Thank goodness.”

This was certainly the best compliment he could ever receive from someone like her.

“Y-yeah,” Terra said, trying his best not to look like a fool. “Where am I?”

“Disney Castle.” She was breathy when she spoke, her grin spreading even further. “Don’t worry, you’re perfectly safe.”

She reached out to touch him. He was half-naked under the sheets.

He scurried away from her, despite that he quite liked the idea if he was going to be honest with himself.

She frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” he said too quickly, then cleared his throat. He should try to sound in control of himself, try to make a good first impression. “I’m fine, I feel great. Um… who are you?”

It was an innocent enough question. Ask a pretty girl for her name. But her smile fell. Her eyes widened in shock, and the tears that poured out couldn’t be stopped. She gripped her heart with one hand and covered her mouth with the other as if to suppress a scream. Terra felt bad and a part of him ached to have hurt her this badly. How else could he feel when she acted as though she’d been told that her closest relative had died?

#terraqua #terra #darqua #darkqua #kh fanfic #kingdom hearts fanfiction #it was really challenging trying to write darqua as different as possible from aquanort #and it was challenging to find meaning in this but i think i got it #i'm excited to work on the second half #my fic

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