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matchaelette · 2 days

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when your moods are swinging from the pilllars of hell but jeon jungkook is an angel sent from heaven

summary: idol!jk and oc!ash, established relationship, in short we get to see the fluffy pancake jungkook today and what an absolute angel he can be while ash is going through her monthly mood swings.

genre: fluff, angst, does crappy writing count as a genre?

warning: period and mood swings. anyone going through it right now has my sympathies.

word count: 2.5k

notes: look who's back from the ded :D so today I accidentally broke this mug I bought three days ago, and I cried the entire morning cause we got attached okay??? and there was my mother, yelling at me about how careless I am and I just... wished someone would give me a hug. did someone give me a hug? no. but did I skip everything to spend an entire day writing? yes. enjoy.

p.s. she went out and got me the same mug again afterwards :/

“fuck!”, your loud voice echoes through the house, leaving a large trace of the irrecoverable panic you felt in the air as you stared expressionlessly at the floor.

“fuck”, the second wave of panic hits, this time with the fear and realization of what you have just done, “no no no no. no fuck—”

scattered pieces of broken items litter the floor in front of you. you may have accidentally dropped them from your hands while carrying them over to the sofa but you could’ve just thrown them from the tallest floor of a skyscraper and had the same effect. it was hard to make a sense of what they might have been before. a gray headset, splintered like eggshells. a game controller, all its colorful buttons scattered around like skittles. jungkook’s once favorite iPad— shards of screen once glass— disintegrated into dust.

no.

what have I done?

your legs give out and you crumble dramatically down on your knees into the floor. for a whole minute, you’re tempted to put the remnants of what you knew as jungkook’s “brand new gaming babies” back into the tv tray table, right where it was before. you wanted to fake innocence, a dozen excuses already flying through your brain.

they were already broken before I decided to clean it. are you sure you didn’t buy it like this, kook? you might have accidentally broken them while unpacking last night, you just didn’t notice it before. the neighbor’s child came over and she just—

“what the fuck?”, you whisper, heart bursting through your ribcage. it takes you a while to realize that the shock of the impact left you crying, tasting the salt on your tongue. you use your dirty hands to roughly wipe them off.

don’t fucking cry, you don’t deserve it, you bite your lips to stop a new wave of tears and wrap your arms around your shaking frame, you’re not a toddler, ash. stop crying and be a responsible adult for once.

maybe you could still fix them?

“what is wrong with me? why do I keep doing shit like this?”, you stammer, shaky hands reaching forward helplessly to grab pieces of the game controller in vain. it’s not fixable, you shake your head, letting a sob out unconsciously. no, because, how could you do this?

period is a bitch and it was sucking the living lights out of you.

you had no idea how you were gonna go through the rest of this week without evaporating into thin air, and it was only the second day. so, when jungkook appeared in your shared apartment that night with his hands full of white boxes wrapped in plastic sheets, hoping like an over-enthusiastic bunny, you sighed and quietly prayed for some well-needed strength.

“hi princess!”, he chirps pleasantly.

“hello kook”, you grin softly when he approaches you and pecks your lips. no matter how weary you were, none of it mattered when it came to being with the boy you were madly in love with. jungkook, oblivious to your exhaustion, grabs your hands and pulls you toward the living room. he drops everything on the carpeted tiles and leans back against the couch.

“tea?” you sit on the sofa, offering him your baby blue mug while he nuzzles his face against your leg. he breathes in the faint scent of lavender when you hold the mug close to his face and takes a satisfied gulp.

you can’t help but smile fondly as jungkook goes limp against your legs. you set the mug on the side table and pad your fingers through his messy hair, trying to disentangle the locks. he closes his eyes and leans onto your touch.

“looks like someone got their paycheck today”, you grin, pointing at the brand-new boxes of mystery.

jungkook, eyes still closed, breaks out into an impish smile, “remember those gaming equipment I was showing you a few nights ago?”

“you mean, that night you made me orgasm three times? and then immediately started showing me gaming items on your phone before you even cleaned me up?”, you say drily, “yes, I think I remember.”

“oh my god ssh! don’t talk about the beautiful moments in life with that attitude”, jungkook looks scandalized by your choice of words but handles it with practiced ease, “but yes! I just got those! my brand-new gaming babies!”

you laugh, “so i’ve got competition?”

“naur babe!”, his head falls in your lap and he widens his eyes with a pout, “now we can stay up and play all those games we wanted to! remember? you can obliterate all the zombies you want and I can make my pizzeria fantasies come true!”

“sure thing, babe”, you pat his head fondly, “did you have dinner?”

“I stopped by jiminie hyung’s place and we had ramen. did you eat? I can cook something.”

“I had a sandwich”, you lie. you don’t have an appetite and you don’t want jungkook to go inside the kitchen at this hour, “how about you play with your toys?”

and this is how the rest of the night goes. you keep your mood swings in check and in control, sitting on the couch and watching your adorable boyfriend. jungkook diligently reading the instruction manual. jungkook sprawled on the floor like a starfish. jungkook setting up all the gadgets around the tv set. jungkook finishing the rest of your lavender tea. jungkook carrying you to the bedroom when you unintentionally fall asleep.

“babe, is it absolutely necessary to do these toda-”, jungkook winces when he catches your eyes, “okay. i’ll keep my mouth shut.”

sunlight pools in on the floor you stand on, illuminating you in all your glory. you have your hair pulled back into a sleek bun, dressed like a soldier about to enter a battlefield, sporting a panty and one of jungkook’s old shirts. the weapons for this impending battle were the vacuum cleaner by your side and a bucket full of cleaning essentials— like scrubs, mops, liquid cleaners— stuff you weren’t even sure what they were called.

you woke up with an unbearable ache in your body this morning. pain blossomed from your neck down to your spine, erupting like a volcano in your core. you weren’t new to this feeling, but no matter how much you went through it every month, the pain still felt fresh and unworn. even so, you might’ve been okay, might’ve handled it as gracefully as possible. but seeing the bed beside you empty with faint traces of your boyfriend, made you insufferable throughout the morning.

after you picked yourself up and took a warm shower, you discovered your boyfriend yelling in the living room. he was parading about the room with his vr headsets on, swearing loudly at random players and blasting gunfire and depressing noises from the speakers.

you have been in a terrible mood ever since.

but the dam only broke when you both sat down to eat the strawberry pancakes jungkook made for breakfast.

“i’m gonna deep clean the entire house today”, you declared on the breakast table, pouring an inappropriate amount of strawberry syrup on your pancakes.

“you can’t even stand”, jungkook laughed, “okay, no, you can’t even sit straight.”

and that’s how it began.

after hours of I don’t wanna see your face, take your pancakes and leave! and babe, please forgive me, let me clean the house for you!, here you guys were, jungkook concerned as hell for your health and you being a stubborn, disobedient child. were you being petty and mean? yes. did you care? no.

“can I do anything?”, you could hear the desperation in his voice. menstruating always built an extra wall around you, you could sense how worried jungkook was for you, but you couldn’t understand it.

“no-pe. i’ll start with the living room. get out of my way.”

“okay. i’ll clean the tv and my gaming equipment after you’re done then.”

your eyes flashed with anger, “oh, so I am not allowed to touch your things?”

“wait, what? I never said that! it’s just—”, jungkook rushes in your direction, unsure if he should continue the sentence or not.

“it’s just what?”

“it’s just— okay, fine! you just seem way too angry! i’m concerned about you but i’m concerned about those too”, he gestured towards the tv tray, desperately trying not to piss you off, “babe, you can clean whatever you like! just— just calm down a bit before you clean our gadgets!”

wrong choice of words.

“calm down? you’re asking me to calm down?”, you shrieked, “you—”

“you might accidentally take your anger out on those poor little harmless things!”, impatience flashes in his eyes as he tries to reason with you.

“the only ‘thing’ I wanna take my anger out on right now is yo—”

“you know what? do whatever you want”, jungkook raises his hands in defeat, “i’ll go take a shower. consider me officially out of your way.”

jungkook was still in the shower.

you’ve spent the last fifteen minutes attempting to repair the things you broke with futile efforts. your hands had several cuts, and streaks of blood were now trickling onto the floor. it wasn’t like the objects were just snapped into two, it was all broken and ruined beyond repair. you couldn’t fix them. all you could do was face jungkook and tell him that you broke his beloved things, specifically after he told you not to touch them and you yelled at him.

if this was the universe’s way of punishing you, it was harsh. because it wasn’t only you who was punished. it was jungkook as well, and he did not deserve it.

no, what he deserves and needs to do asap, was move out and find a better girlfriend. you wouldn’t blame him.

“how could I do this? how could I just—”, your whisper was shaky as you stared blankly, “— casually drop everything from my hands?”

after the tantrum you threw, you’re not sure jungkook will believe you broke it accidentally. even you weren’t quite believing yourself right now. how could someone drop an armful of goods on the ground and they just implode? unintentionally?

it appeared highly intentional to you.

“but I swear—”, you sob, “I really didn’t mean to.”

a sound from the bedroom makes you jump up with alarm. it’s been more than an hour since jungkook entered the shower, and you’re scared he’s been there for such a long time only to stay out of your way and avoid your wrath.

you had to face him, didn’t you? you had to face him and explain what you had done. and then, when he decides to hate you for the rest of your life, you’re sure you’ll hate yourself more; and when he decides never to forgive you, you’re sure you’ll never forgive yourself either.

“shit”, you mumble, stumbling towards your bedroom with shaky legs. you wipe your tears on the sleeve of the shirt and take a deep breath to stop the sobs racking through your body.

you just have to tell him, you inhale, you just have to tell him and then you can fling yourself off the building, exhale, don’t you fucking cry. you’re not manipulating him with your tears.

jungkook doesn’t notice you when you enter the room. he is looking for a comfortable t-shirt, clothed only in his favorite pair of shorts, hair tousled with water. the entire room exuded his distinct scent of peach and baby soap. you take a moment, watching him put a black hoodie over his head before drawing his attention toward you.

“kook?”

he wheels around when he hears your voice, blank gaze evolving into a wide smile in a fraction of a second when he realizes it’s you.

“hi babe”, he takes confident strides towards you, “are you still mad at me? I promise I was just worried for—”

“kook”, you beg, panicking when his gaze fixes on your hands, “listen to me.”

“is that—”,jungkook’s eyes pop out, “—blood on your hands?!”

“kook, that’s not the point”, you choke out when he grabs your bloody hands, completely bewildered, “please listen—”

“why are you bleeding?!”

“jungkook, please! I— I accidentally broke the gaming stuff you got last night”, this time you can’t keep your tears at bay. you’re close to bawling as he looks at you, panic-stricken, gripping your hands and trying to make sense of what is happening.

“and non— not justthose—”, your sobs are now muddled with your sentences, and jungkook freezes when you finish, “I al- also broke your iPad. the screen— its ggone and i’m so so ssorry—”

you can’t keep your eyes open when you get a look at jungkook’s face. he stands there frozen, impassive, and motionless, holding your hands and staring at the mess of you.

“i’ll never forgive myself for what happened”, you breathe through your mouth, sniffing, “I swear I didn’t mean to—”

your words are cut off abruptly when jungkook pulls you in a hug.

“ssh, it’s okay”, he holds your head firmly with one hand while securing the other around your waist, “nobody died, it’s okay.”

it takes you a few seconds to comprehend what’s going on. when you do, you burst into more violent sobs this time, clutching jungkook’s shoulder wildly.

“hey. hey. it’s alright, okay?” he rocks your body from side to side, “it’s just a few things, princess. why are you crying like this?”

“hell, jungkook, don’t— don’t be so—”, you whimper against his chest, “don’t be so understanding! scream at me for fuck’s sake!”

“yes, I will”, he pries you away from himself, eyes full of concern and distress, “you. you idiot. you’re crying over a few things you broke? and you completely destroy your hands over that? are you nuts?!”

“you loved them. you were—”, you moan, “—so excited. and it was so expensive.”

“it’s just a few things, princess, not the end of the world!”, jungkook kisses the top of your head, “yes, I liked them. yes, some money’s been wasted. but is it worth more than you? hell no! look at you, you’re shaking—you’re absolutely terrified! why!?”

it takes a long time for jungkook to calm you down. he rocks your body in silence the whole time, resting his chin on the top of your head, gently rubbing your back in soothing circles, and urging you to breathe. you stay limp against his body; tired, upset, guilty.

“i’m so sorry”, you mumble after a while.

“it was just an accident. it’s really, really okay.”

“you’re way too forgiving”, you mutter against his chest, “I would’ve accidentally broken you if the roles were reversed.”

“you break me every time you cry anyways. now, let me see those hands?”