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furiousgoldfish · 2 days

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Attempting to dismiss abuse and 'not take it personally', doesn't take away from how it affects you; it makes it worse. If you're approaching each insult, degradation, threat and disrespect as if it was 'not meant seriously' and 'they only said it because they were upset/trying to help', that doesn't mean that you are now not suffering insults, degradation, threats and disrespect. You are. But you get convinced that it is on you to rationalize it, not take it seriously, dismiss it, believe it was not done personally, to try to see it from the abuser's side, to imagine what made them do it. Which means in practice, you are taking abuse and then on top of it accepting that it is your fault if it ever gets to you, if it ever hurts you or gets you upset, or scared, or threatened, or despised, or if it makes you feel worthless and ashamed.

And nobody is rationalizing it on purpose, rather we're shamed by the abusers for taking anything personally, for being affected by anything hurtful they do to us, they make us believe that any reaction we have is our fault, because we failed to dismiss it and endure it and recover from it instantly. They make us responsible for what they do to us, and how it affects us. Being shamed for 'failing to rationalize abuse' is a part of abuse.

Abuse is always personal, it's done to a person whose well being is not prioritized and valued, which is exactly why the abused person feels worthless and ashamed, they can tell they're not prioritized or valued in any way. But if then on top of it you're convinced that your perception is wrong, that you're faulty for being hurt by this, for protesting this, now you can't even vocalize what is wrong, out of fear for being shamed for having a reaction. Your attempts to dismiss and rationalize it don't mitigate the effects of it, you are still being disrespected, threatened, degraded, but now you're also too ashamed to protest, to say it's bothering you, to speak out and acknowledge that you are a person whose life experience matters, who doesn't just exist to take on others malice, sadism and hatred.

You can end up feeling even more alone, because you have to hide your reactions, and act like nothing is wrong. You still feel scared and anxious about all of the threats, you still feel humiliated, offended and upset by all of their insults and degradation, you still feel your personhood wither away because you are obviously not treated as a person, and you can feel it, but you can never say it. You can't believe your own senses and assume that you're wrong for feeling it, rather than the abusers being wrong for mistreating you. You're filled with anxiety of 'What if they're right? What if I am all of those things they keep saying about me? What if one day they act on their threats? What if my life is without value? What if something is deeply wrong with me and I shouldn't even exist?' regardless of whether you take these things personally or not. This is what abuse does to an individual who is powerless to fight back.

You can take all abuse personally. Anyone making you feel like this, forcing you to have these thoughts about yourself, is not treating you like a living, breathing, feeling human being, and your instincts are right to tell you that this is wrong, that you're being treated badly. There's no actual reason or justification for anyone to do this to you. Hurting you will not make anyone better, will not fix anyone's problems or make anyone's life better. The mere urge of another person to do this to you is abnormal and suggests something is wrong with their sense of right and wrong.

#psychological abuse #victim blaming #child abuse #emotional abuse #blame shifting #abusive parents #toxic parents #living in abuse #coping with abuse #managing abuse

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drvirgus · 1 day

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heyyyy may i request a dom minji x loser nerdy gp reader? tganks!

hopefully you like it :)

My fav Nerd

Minji X nerdy! G!P Reader

Warnings: SMUT; g!p Reader

wc: 2k

One Shot:

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Sighing, I closed my eyes, only to immediately feel an elbow jabbing into my side. My eyes widened in shock as I glanced at the person next to me.

It was Kim Minji, one of the most famous people at our college, and we were working on this project together. Since we were both coincidentally absent that day due to illness (though Minji was probably just skipping), the professor had assigned us as a team. Minji looked at me. "I know it's deadly boring, but you can't doze off here," she said, continuing to doodle in her notebook.

"Sorry. I was up all night," I said with a slight laugh, causing Minji to put her pen down. She looked at me, resting her cheek on her hand, and hummed. "You? What were you up to all night?" she asked, a slight grin forming on her face, a certain undertone in her voice.

"Me? Oh, uh... Since the new season of My Hero Academia is coming out, I decided to rewatch everything from the beginning," I replied with a smile. "I always do that when a new season comes out. It's almost like a ritual," I added, feeling more animated as my smile widened.

Minji hummed as she nodded. "A series?" she asked, beginning to scoff. "What else?" she said, her voice quieter now as she rolled her eyes. My smile faded, and my eyes narrowed immediately, causing Minji to stop grinning. "Anime!" I said more seriously. "It's not just a series. It's called anime," I said, shaking my head.

Minji's mouth opened slightly as she looked at me for a while. "You... are you a nerd?" she asked, sounding somewhat surprised, making me roll my eyes immediately. "Why nerd? I just like anime... how does that make me a nerd, exactly?" I asked, frowning, my eyes fixed on Minji.

The black-haired woman beside me chuckled and sat up straight, nodding her head. "You're right," the taller woman said, nodding her head. She hummed as her eyes roamed over my face. "Hey... is it true?" she asked suddenly, which confused me. "Is what true?" I asked, but the black-haired woman simply bit her lip.

"I'm done with this project," Minji suddenly said, and I just nodded in resignation. Understandable. We had been working in her room for several hours already. I stood up from the floor and grabbed my backpack to pack my things.

"Y/n?"

"Hm?"

"Do you like me?"

My eyes widened as I turned my head to the woman who was still sitting on the floor. My breath caught as I just looked down at her. "Want to fuck?"

My eyes widened even more as those words left her mouth. My face flushed instantly, and I could feel my pants getting tighter. I immediately dropped my backpack to the ground and held both hands over my crotch. "W-What? No!" I replied, but my mind screamed at me how stupid I was.

Minji hummed again as she noticed my hand in front of my crotch. She slowly stood up from the floor, tilting her head as she looked down at me. "Really?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No-Yes-No," I said, confused, my face reddening even more. My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest as I felt my bulge in my pants growing and even touching my hands that I held in front of me.

Minji laughed a bit. "What's wrong? Are you a virgin?" she asked incredulously, tilting her head. My eyes widened. "What's so wrong about that?!" I asked, now a bit angry, completely forgetting about my bulge as I threw my hands up in the air in disbelief. "What's so bad about it?"

Minji laughed as she wrapped her hands around my neck. My body tensed almost immediately. "Do you want to fuck?" she asked, her voice now softer, more seductive and rough. My mouth opened again, but all I could do was nod. I couldn't lie...

I wanted her.

Minji grinned as she also started nodding. Her body almost pushed me onto her bed. The edge of the bed caused me to sit down on it. "Let's see," the black-haired woman whispered seductively as she slowly dropped to her knees. Her hands at my waistband, she opened the button with just one hand and unzipped it.

My hips lifted from the bed to help her take off my pants, but I didn't know she was also taking off my boxers at the same time. My member immediately sprung up, causing me to pause. My heated member now exposed to the cold air of Minji's room.

"Fuck. Bigger than expected," Minji murmured as she briefly looked up at me before her large hand wrapped around my Cock and began to stroke it gently. My mouth opened, my hands clenching the bedsheets. "Min-Minji," I stuttered as my whole body began to twitch, especially because it was unfamiliar to feel a hand other than mine on my Cock.

Minji chuckled softly as she used her index finger to gather the pre-cum on her finger. I could see her pulling my skin over my pink head repeatedly, leaving it naked shortly after. "So beautiful," she murmured softly as she continued to move her hand agonizingly slowly.

"Minji," I gasped as I looked down at the beautiful woman. She grinned, tilting her head to the side. "Yes? What's wrong?" she asked, laughing softly. She knew exactly what was wrong.

My eyes closed as I bit my lip. "M-More," I said, swallowing my nervousness. "I need more than this," I added, which made Minji hum. "Say please," she demanded, so I opened my eyes and looked at the woman on her knees. A knowing grin on her lips. "Please," I said more quietly, which seemed to satisfy her.

A moan escaped me as I felt her lips on my tip. Shortly after, I felt the warmth enveloping my head. My mouth opened as I leaned back a bit more, my eyes glued to the beautiful woman who was now starting to suck my cock. Her tongue danced over my tip, making me twitch once more.

Her eyes met mine. My face seemed to make her grin. A louder moan escaped my throat as I watched the black-haired woman push her hair out of her face while she moved her head up and down. My mouth opened as I lifted my hand to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Fuck. Your mouth is so hot," I moaned softly. My hips moved to meet her mouth repeatedly. My teeth clenched as I gathered her hair into a ponytail, as she moved her head faster. Her suction grew stronger. "Fuck," I panted as my head tilted back. Her hand now on my balls, massaging them in rhythm with her head movements.

"I- Fuck. I'm coming," I nearly choked out, trying to hold back my orgasm as best I could. She hungrily increased her suction, which immediately pushed me over the edge. I could feel my cock twitching in her mouth with each spurt of cum.

Minji sucked one last time before releasing my cock with a "pop." Her hand still on my shaft as she licked her lips, looking at me. A grin on her face as she started stroking me back to full hardness. "That was quick," Minji said, laughing lightly as she looked at me with a grin.

Slowly but surely, she stood up from her kneeling position and looked down at me. My mouth opened as I stared at the taller woman. My eyes widened as she began to undress. My breath caught as I quickly stood up from her bed, immediately wrapping my hands around her waist and pulling her closer.

Minji giggled, though it sounded more like she was mocking me. She wrapped her hands around my neck, looking deeply into my eyes. "Did you finally find your voice?" she asked, but my jaw just tightened, my eyes narrowing.

I really didn't like being mocked.

"Shut up," I muttered, turning us so that Minji was the one pressed against the bed. My hands on her thighs as I urged her to move to the middle of the bed, which she did immediately. Minji laughed as she noticed my slightly trembling hands trying to pull her pants off. Minji bit her lip as she removed her own pants, tossing them carelessly into her room.

My eyes roamed over her entire naked body. My heart pounded wildly in my chest, my cock twitching madly at the sight alone. The thought of indulging in her, exploring every inch of her body, made me shudder.

My mouth opened as I, without another thought, placed my head between her legs and let my tongue glide between her lips. My body lay on her bed, my head between her legs, my hands gripping her thighs, spreading them repeatedly.

I heard the taller woman laughing as she buried her hand in my hair, pushing my face harder against her. My tongue explored every inch of the unfamiliar territory. When my tongue brushed against her clit, I felt Minji briefly squeeze her thighs together. My eyes narrowed as I focused on that little bundle.

Minji clutched my hair, tugging slightly, but nothing could stop me from sucking on that swollen bundle. My lips enclosed it, and I started sucking on her clit. My tongue circled the already swollen nerve, the tip of my tongue playing with it.

The beautiful woman's moans drove me wild. The taste on my tongue was divine. I could eat her out all day....

The loud sound of my sucking echoed through the room. "Fuck. Stop just- fucking- focusing on my clit," Minji moaned, tugging harder on my hair while pressing her hips further into my face. A grin spread across my face as I ignored her plea, continuing to concentrate on the sensitive spot.

Her moans grew louder, and my body began moving against the bed, desperately humping it. My cock rubbed repeatedly against the bedsheets. My fingernails dug into the popular woman's skin as my thoughts became more and more disjointed.

I could feel my orgasm approaching again. My eyes closed as I sucked harder, moving my tongue in circular motions on her clit. Slurping sounds echoed in the room. My fingers now at her entrance, I slid two of them inside her, curling them immediately to create more friction.

"Minji. Minji. Minji. Minji," I moaned between licks as I felt myself cum right there on her bed. My face flushed as I glanced up at the beautiful woman briefly before moving my hand more fervently and returning my tongue to her clit.

God, I was so pussydrunk...

"Fuck. Stop... I... I came," Minji said breathlessly, trying to push my head away from her.

I lifted my head, my hand still gripping her thigh. "What?" I asked, my eyes half-open. My entire mouth glistened with her juices. My mouth opened. "Just a little more," I said suddenly, diving back between her legs. My fingers still inside her, never once having pulled them out.

My senses were completely hazy...

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With a smile on my face, I stood at the front door of the beautiful woman's house, putting on my shoes. Minji leaned against the wall, arms crossed over her chest, simply watching me. "So, uh... I'll work on the project some more tonight, and then we should be done," I said as I tied my shoelaces and stood up straight.

My eyes met Minji's as I laughed awkwardly. She hummed in interest, watching me for a long moment. "Does that mean... we won't see each other again?" she asked, uncrossing her arms and stepping closer. Her expression turned serious.

"Uh. I don't know," I replied quietly, adjusting my backpack. "Why?" Minji asked immediately, surprising me. I raised my eyebrows in shock. "Well, uh... because according to you and everyone else, I'm a nerd?" I said uncertainly, laughing awkwardly.

Minji sighed. "So what? You're my favorite nerd," she said more seriously, placing her hand on my hip again. "I don't want this to be the last time we see each other," she said slowly, her voice soft and almost a whisper.

My breath caught as I looked up at her. A small smile spread across my face. "Call me... you have my number," I replied simply, grinning and giving the taller woman a kiss. "But don't think I'll answer," I added jokingly, leaving her apartment with a small laugh.

#newjeans minji #newjeans #minji x reader #newjeans x reader #kpop smut #newjeans smut #minji smut #kim minji

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lady-phasma · 3 days

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Hi , I don’t know if you’ve seen the new Ewan and Tom photo shoot and interview but …. I know this will get hate from Ewan Nation, hence why I’m coming to auntie . Anyway two years ago god it seems longer lol, I was like everyone obsessed with Aemond and his actor . The mysterious Ewan … I wanted to know about him, wanted more pics and photo shoots , however time has a way of changing things . Now I find myself wishing for the old days . The pixel days ( if you know you know 😂) I mean don’t get me wrong I like Ewan , but I miss the mysterious introvert . Perhaps that’s the thing too, I felt a connection to him and his character . The interviews he’s done it’s clear he’s extroverted so idk if the introvert was a character he was playing or what but now he just rings false to me. Phony like every other Hollywood actor who just wants fame . I don’t wanna speak cruel about Ewan nation but they seem to eat this up and anyone who dares say boo about him is attacked hence anonymous . It’s just everything he was seems flipped and he just rings false to me . A phony …. Honestly it’s turned me off from the show completely. Thank you for listening to my rant . If you response awesome if you don’t that’s fine too .

Before I get started, don't come at nonnie y'all! Keep scrolling if you don't agree or read what I have to say because it might surprise you.

Okay, so.. hi anon! Thank you for coming to me. Two things first: "Ewan Nation" is unfair because I don't like to generalize groups of people; I want you to enjoy your show again!

I definitely think your feelings are valid but I'm going to tell you what I think because you came to me... you'll probably disagree but here goes.

Ewan is a human and complicated, right? And all we see is what is presented by him, his PR people, his stylist, and HBO (while promoting HotD). So I think it's unfair to go so far as to say "phony." I think he is growing as a person and most of us are fortunate enough to not have to do that in front of the world.

I mean don’t get me wrong I like Ewan , but I miss the mysterious introvert . Perhaps that’s the thing too, I felt a connection to him and his character . The interviews he’s done it’s clear he’s extroverted so idk if the introvert was a character he was playing or what but now he just rings false to me.

I truly do not believe that he is an extrovert at all. I think he is contractually obligated to promote and to appear in articles and it's good for his career overall. Here's a link to the SAG-AFTRA page on contracts that might give you some info if you want to dig. Also, a Variety article about the 2023 strike that discusses what actors were not allowed to do during the strike. Guess what? No interviews! I'm not being patronizing, I'm trying to make the point that this is his job. Ewan may not want to be in the public eye but I would imagine his contract, as the face of one of the most popular characters in the show, is pretty full of appearances.

Anyway two years ago god it seems longer lol, I was like everyone obsessed with Aemond and his actor . The mysterious Ewan … I wanted to know about him, wanted more pics and photo shoots , however time has a way of changing things . Now I find myself wishing for the old days . The pixel days ( if you know you know 😂)

I hate to say it but "be careful what you wish for" nonnie. I mean that with the most compassion. I think you may have wanted more of the Ewan you thought he was. Or even that what you thought you wanted changed. We all change and, yes, it has been almost 2 years!! So you aren't the same person either. Give yourself and Ewan a break - a lot can happen in two years!

Lastly, and I can't fix this for you only offer my opinion, I think you should try to reframe how you look at the show. You can enjoy a film/series without needing to know anything about the actors. This part of the fandom should be fun. I want you to be able to enjoy it and there may be nothing that can make you like it anymore. However, I would like for you to think about actors as people. People who have a job and do it every day just like we do. We can't know why they do it, what their motivations are, but we can enjoy the fruits of their labor.

I think Ewan love his job, genuinely. Watching him talk about Aemond... he just exudes enthusiasm! I think loving your job that much is a gift. I don't believe he enjoys being in the public eye, but promos like this one are with coworkers who he has known for at least three years now.

If you read this far, anon and anyone else, maybe you'll have a slightly different perspective. I think anon's feelings are valid, because most of us get emotionally attached to actors and we can only ever know what's presented to us through media. If anon feels let down or disappointed that is valid, even if I don't believe it's because Ewan is fake or an extrovert. I think he is young and learning more about his industry. I hope he continues to grow as an actor and as a person. I hope it doesn't disappoint more people, but as long as he is happy and remains kind I want him to be more comfortable doing the job he seems to love.

#love my anons #asked and answered #ewan mitchell #we all have feelings and they are valid #feelings are not truth

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sports-on-sundays · 1 day

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can you plssss make a part 3 for arguments w Marc guiu plsssss😭

arguments / Marc Guiu / Part 3

Summary: Marc x female!reader - The writing is on the wall, and you don't know if there's a way to change this. Or if you even want to.

Author's Note: I'm a sucker for happy endings✌️✌️✌️Link to Part 1 Link to Part 2

Requested?: Yes

For a guy that you hate, that hurt you, that you never, ever want to see again, you think about him an awful lot.

Gavi thinks you messed up. That you're in the wrong, too. That it was a two-way street.

Well, what does Gavi know?

You're not sure, but in the past, it figures, most of the time, he's right.

And ever since you saw Marc...

He looked broken up. Not the handsome, upbeat, encouraging Marc who you just had one too many nasty arguments with. He wasn't even Marc at all. He was empty. Anxiety and confusion radiated off of him.

And the more you think about that, the more it makes you feel guilty.

Maybe Gavi is right. Maybe you weren't being a good girlfriend. Maybe Marc only lashed out, which was wrong, at you because you weren't treating him correctly.

Perhaps he was a bit too jealous, but maybe you weren't giving him enough attention.

You sigh. You would've just let it go, but after seeing Marc? Now you've begun to feel guilty yourself.

Maybe you should just try to have a conversation with him, like Gavi said.

"Man, this isn't doing any good, is it?" Héctor sighs. He's hanging out with Marc, going for a stroll, but Marc hasn't opened his mouth once, and his eyes remain trained on the sidewalk they're walking on.

Finally, the eighteen-year-old looks up at his friend. "What isn't?" he speaks.

"You're devastated over her. You can't keep going on like this. You've got to find a way out. I miss you."

"I'm right here..." Marc begins.

"I miss the old Marc. Come on."

Marc's jaw clenches. "I just got to get over it. I'm working on it, okay?"

"You're working on it, but it hasn't been working, has it?"

Marc exhales slowly, with no answer to his friend but, "I'm trying. Trust me, I don't like me like this either."

"Maybe there is a solution, though, and you're just not seeing it."

"That's nice," Marc snorts. "Doesn't help if I'm not seeing it."

But Héctor flashes a grin at his friend. "But what if I'm seeing it?"

Marc rolls his eyes, and just the smallest hint of a smile creeps up on his lips. "Well, what are you seeing?"

But then the younger male grows more serious again as he says, "You should just talk to her."

"I- no-!" Marc says, eyes wide and eyebrows exasperated.

"Man- just hear me out, okay?! I know you're terrified of doing that for some reason. For some reason, you're terrified of her. What, because of your regret? You're scared of what she'll say? If you want to fix it, you've got to overcome it. Just talk to her. Get it straight. Make sure you both understood why it ended. Building up to it, I'm sure your head will be spinning, but afterwards, I know you'll feel more relief. Y/n isn't a bad person. She'll hear you out, as long as it's a conversation, and not an argument. I'm sure of it."

Marc stares ahead. Just his friend's words cause him low-grade anxiety, but he slowly nods. "I'll... I'll think about it."

When he thought about it, Marc decided on an adamant 'no.' But today, when he looks up to see you walking towards him, down the hall, after he's washed up after training, chattering with Pedri and Gavi, his emotions flare up, and he acts on a whim.

He reaches out from the doorway to grasp your arm. You look up in surprise, stopping mid-sentence, as you rest your eyes on your ex.

"Y/n," he gasps.

Your breath gets caught in your throat.

"Can we- can we talk?"

Immediately, Gavi says, "Me and Pedri have got to get going. Catch you later!" and the two skitter away.

Great. Now you're all alone.

"Sure..." you sigh.

And then Marc starts rambling. "I'm so sorry for being so controlling. I can't stand this heartache any longer and I need you to know how much I miss you and I feel bad and I know I ruined it all and... I just want you for myself but that wasn't fair... I shouldn't have yelled at you... I shouldn't have gotten so worked up. I should have let you do your own thing and-" Suddenly, his voice cracks, and you see his eyes begin to water. "I can't think... I feel so bad, I've been nothing like myself... I was so anxious to even talk to you... I don't want to upset you... I just want you to know I'm sorry, and that I see what I did wrong and I- I want to fix it."

You let out a shaky sigh as your caring emotions for him that you pushed out begin to flood back in. You hastily wipe a stray tear rolling down his cheek. "Oh, Marc," you whisper. "Get yourself together."

"I'm sorry..." his voice cracks higher.

You sigh again. "It's okay... But you expect me to let you fix it now, then?"

His Adam's apple bobs as he gulps.

"Well, first, I want to apologize, too," you begin.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wr-"

"I think I did," you cut in with a huff. "Though I don't like how harsh you could be, and how jealous you could act, in some respects, you were right. If I'm going to date someone, I can't be hanging out with my male friends more than the guy I'm actually dating. And out of all the guys I know, you're the only one I'd want to date."

He inhales sharply at that. "So, you...?"

"I'll work on change, as long as you do, too."

He swallows. "Of course. I've had hours of lying in bed going insane over this."

You nod and take both his hands in his. "Maybe we can try this again, then? Yeah? I can't stand to see you like this any longer."

It's like a huge weight is lifted off his shoulders as he gasps and immediately wraps you in the biggest bear hug you've ever experienced. "Yeah," he whispers softly, close to your ear. "I'd love that."

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