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resbang-bookclub · 6 years

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AMA Transcript: Tenderly Touched by the Massively Muscled

For our next AMA, @sandmancircus, @peregr1ne & @sojustifiable (Amanda on Discord) stopped by to chat about their Resbang, Tenderly Touched by the Massively Muscled! Here’s some of what went down:

*Please be advised that this AMA contains spoilers!*

Q: What inspired the title? :D

Sand: I wanted something touching and relatable.

Q: Which was the hardest scene for you to write, do you think?

Sand: The last battle scene was hard, just coordinating everything and getting it down so it was smooth.

Peregrine: You did so good, it was a whole lot of characters to keep track of.

Q: Artist-chan/kuns, what made you pick the scenes you chose to art for?

Amanda: Ahh, I guess it was just things where the image stuck out and I felt like I needed to see it. With Eruka's tantrum scene, I also thought it would fit well with the style I wanted to use, with lots of swirly swirls and dramatic colors.

Peregrine: Well, for my first I wanted to do like a good intro iconic scene, so their first meeting was a good choice to set the stage and such. For the other two, I just wanted to do cool group shots because I wanted to draw all the characters but not 10 different pictures. Especially the last picture, I just really like drawing like… ‘epic’ scenes.

Q: Sand, what was your writing process like?

Sand: Uh, for this Resbang I mostly wrote in chronological order, which is unusual for me. When I had time, I just sat down and stared at the screen until something came out. I also kept a joke doc for jokes I wanted to use.

Q: Speaking of jokes, can you explain dog farting all the time?

Sand: Farts are funny.

Q: LOL. Do you have any funny/iconic comments that betas or artists left that you want to share?

Sand: Kat kept getting mad every time a penis happened. A bunch of "I’m too ace for this."

Amanda: Same.

Sand: Also the pinching of the clover got a bunch of yells.

Q: What was the inspo behind the pomegranates?

Sand: The pomegranates were just a throwback to the original myth.

Q: How did you come up with Soul's role in your fic? I thought it was really cool and imaginative.

Sand: I thought it would be funny if Soul was a soul, like Dog is a dog.

Q: What inspired so much peen? Cause like, there's much peen.

Peregrine: Sarah thinks dicks are funny.

Sand: I honestly can’t remember why I chose to write him as a nudist. I just think it’s a nice role reversal having the man be hyper sexualized.

Q: Somewhat related: how was it writing the smexies!!! And will we see more smexies????

Sand: The smexies were very hard to write, would not recommend. Will maybe try again in future.

Q: Also, for the artists -- how long did you spend on each piece?

Amanda: The first piece too a long time cuz I used masking fluid and had to wait a long time for different layers to dry to do details. The other pieces I did more quickly just because of the style. The time taken mostly depends on waiting time which there is less of if you do everything wet.

Peregrine: I don't remember how long I spent on my pieces because I break them up a lot? Usually I'll spend a while doing the rough sketch because I'll move things around and erase the whole thing and start over a lot because if it doesn’t feel dynamic super rough, it's not going to look good when I clean it up. That takes a while to plan out I guess, but it’s also the funnest part because I can draw a lot more freely. I'll usually then leave it for a day to see if it's still solid later and then lineart can take anywhere from 3 hours to like a week depending on how frustrating it is, and then I usually colour in a day (by a day I usually mean like 3 or 4 hours because that’s how much time I’m usually able to spend when I have time to draw). But yeah idk, in general pics usually take me like 3 days unless they're group shots, like 2 of these were, because lineart takes forever.

Q: Were there any scenes that came out way differently than you'd initially planned?

Sand: The whole fic changed as I wrote it tbh, which usually happens with me. I have an original idea of what things will be like, and it gradually shifts and alters to become something new, or at least very different.

Q: Has anyone already asked you what inspired this bad boi???? I remember there was an art.

Sand: Yeah I did art for Freeruka a year and a half ago for Freeruka week which was supposed to be for the prompt "myth". The idea just stuck.

Q: Which was your favorite scene?

Sand: My fave scene was probably the one where Eruka got back talked by Free because of her stalking after she went bananas.

Q: Amanda did you have a fave piece between the three?

Amanda: I think Eruka's tantrum scene was my favorite to do and fave as an end product, though that free style of painting in general is really fun.

Sand: That was also the piece that we got to see Free's booty.

Peregrine: It was an interesting challenge for us artists to draw for this fic trying to position the characters so we wouldn’t have to draw a dick.

Sand: Amanda threatened to leave if I described her art as sezual.

Peregrine: But yeah, it was very deliberate for every piece like 'alright how do I draw this scene without Little Free?'

Q: Where did your inspo for Jackson come from???????

Sand: I needed a sassy side character, and he just kinda grew into something super fun to write. And it’s very hard to write a character without arms, so I gave him arms.

Q: How did you come up with the mythos? It was a neat spin. I liked that the positions got filled when someone dies.

Sand: Well, I needed a reason to call Eruka ‘Eruka’ and not ‘Hades,’ so it turned out to be more of a title, which led to "oh, well then could someone else be hades," and it kinda grew and grew from there.

Q: Kinda in love with Maka as new Zeus, not gonna lie.

Sand: That was actually Pere's addition.

Peregrine: I based Maka's outfit off one of the ones from the Wonder Woman movie that’s Zeusy and she was part of Zeus's crew and after Zeus died the position was open so I suggested it to Sarah because I thought it would give some good closure - and also Maka as Zeus would be super badass.

Q: Was there a scene that was really surprisingly easy to write?

Sand: The opening scene was really easy to write, surprisingly. It kinda all just flowed out really well and really easily.

Q: What drew/draws you to Freeruka?

Sand: I love Eruka, I like that she's sassy and that she's a morally grey character and that she's a complete coward, and I love her dynamic with Free. He's this big macho guy who is incredibly loyal and also a bit of a klutz and is a fucking WEREWOLF (heyo!) and they just mesh really well in this weird way that I adore. Witches are cool, wolves are cool, smoosh them together please.

Q: Is there anything you wish you could've done differently?

Sand: I think I would've liked to give them more time to get to know each other before everything goes down - at least a few months, just to make their connection more believable. But time, man.

Q: Pere did you have a favorite piece??

Peregrine: I think I like how the first pic came out the best. It's a nice standalone. But the last battle scene was the funnest to do because I just like drawing action poses and snarls the best.

Q: What are you working on next?

Sand: Nothing so far.

Peregrine: Uhhh Reverb I guess? Right now I'm doing a commission tho.

Q: For Peregrine: Do you feel like you grew in your art skills through this bang? If so, how?

Peregrine: Uhhh not really? I think I grow in my skills by doing experimental pieces but I don't do experimental stuff when it's like for someone else, I do that on my own time. The stuff I did for this was the kind of stuff I just always do.

Q: Doing Resbang next year Sarah????

Sand: Unfortunately, I probably will be suffering again, yes.

[a chorus of cheers]

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Thanks to the team for stopping by! More transcripts coming soon!

#AMA transcripts #rbbc #resbang book club #tenderly touched by the massively muscled

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thebrushedbalcony · 6 years

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Sunday Night 8/5

I suppose I wasn't in the right headspace earlier in the day. I had gone to bed late the night before, I had had one or two small screw-ups that I could write off as not my fault. I had a full 9 hours of sleep before Saturday - and that was after a few short nights. My birthday had been the Thursday before, and I was generally in a good mood during/after. Steven smoked me out at 10, I went to Old Chicago after, and then Tessa and Hoppe came and hung out for just an hour. I suppose at this point, I had been smoking about 6 nights a week for 2 weeks (started right after I lifted my self-imposed ban on not smoking after I closed).

I guess if im going that far back I might as well take an even broader picture of whats been happening in my life recently. Its been 8 months since I moved out into this house. Eight months since I began easily removing any mental boundaries I had set in stone for myself. Drugs, Sex, language (still gonna hold onto that last one for awhile). Something I haven't nearly done enough soul-searching about is God! I'm worried I have so easily dropped an entire life that had been pointing me towards a life of bible-reading, church-attending, and being the perfect role model. Like Amanda moving in! A year ago I would have been proud to flaunt that I didn't smoke or drink or have even the slightest thought about dirty sex outside of a sanctioned marriage. Now look at me, I'm everything past Ethan liked to believe he was better than everyone else about. I guess thats a long-winded way of saying I'm a big ol' hypocrite! These are the big things I have held onto my whole life - my way of always thinking in the back of my head that I'm "better" than everyone else just a bit. And now its all gone awaaay.

I don't mourn the loss of my "innocence" or whatever tho. These were all my decisions, I thought these all out. Sure half of it was probably my hamster going into overload, but just maybe it wasn't! Some of these christian laws and rules that everyone has to follow don't seem very rooted in solid logic. But wow, maybe thats my hamster again. Spinning in overdrive to make up logical reasons for my stupid decisions. Either way, I've got no regrets! This last night is really pushing that though. Sex was fun, and I'm going to continue to have fun with it during my life. Marijuana is fun! I presume I'll still be getting high for years to come. Maybe. Last night was actual, existential pain like I've never felt before. I was able to fully slide into the victim mentality - first time in my life. But I'll get to that later. I'm not sure who these last two paragraphs are for, but I think that is a pretty good look into my head going into last night. Oh yeah - that’s what the point of all that was! Alright. Back to the story.

5 grams of weed. That’s how much I helped Josh distill. 30 bucks, if I went to a cheaper dealer. Josh was on TOP of the math, apparently the cup he just poured was one-hundred-freaking-milligrams. Josh and I didn't take that number seriously. Maybe Josh did more, in the back of his mind, but we both knew steven took like, 80mg of the stuff and didn't feel anything! And the "30mg" cookie I took a week or two ago wasn't really that bad anyway. No way this is 100mg. "These edibles ain't shit!" as I drank actually 100mg and sealed my incredibly unforunate fate. Drank it at 8:30, and I could actually feel it really fast. Like within minutes, just a small sense that something was off. In a good way of course, like cool! Getting high already.

First hour was fun. I was already kinda in a daze, having only got 6 hours of sleep the night before. Having fun, music was great and I even pulled out my phone and recorded whatever strange conversation we were having at the time. The other three were pretty hyped about a firepit, I still think its very funny Josh had lived there so many years and had no idea if there was one around still. I was inside, stuck to a chair when I recorded a bit of what was going on in my head. This must have been about 10:15:

"the house is all screwey. Its like every thing I see is instantly as distant as a sharp memory, srrange focal points and strangw perspectives. Im dreaming? Weird nostslgia molding together, in a not normal way. like an old distant life. im lazq ‰) %/"#÷ame. wow, hah This is lucid, but stuck. Its self aware lucid and is all."

It had been a bit over an hour and a half and I was practically in a dream state. Whats strange is all my other experiences with edibles is I don't notice myself getting much higher after 1.5/2 hours. I guess there was just so much weed it kept on being absorbed. Anyway, Amanda came and grabbed me as Josh and Drew were trying to get the fire started. I was having a grand old time, stumbling around and in complete awe as to how I couldn't file anything I was seeing into a clear and defined memory. It still plays out like an extremely vivid dream in my head. None of the wacky dream stuff was happening, like people I didn't know or new settings, but everything had that strange sheen and warped perspective of not really being there.

I believe it was 10:30/45 when I had to stumble away from the campfire because I had a sudden and very specific feeling that I was going to throw up. I got to my car and realized there was actually a whole lot that was going wrong. I held onto the driver's side of my car for dear life as my reality slowly splintered into anguish. I would have said pain right there, but that wouldn't be right. It wasn't really a sharp bad physical pain, I get a nice dose of that whenever a migraine hits. No this was like, being unplugged from the matrix but the only other option was death. To continue the analogy, I would try and plug myself back in but realized in horror the only thing that defined my existence was a few vague memories from my past when nothing really special happened. That’s all I was, a big ol poser in life with only a false personality given to me by my parents and my church with a few unrelated memories that I pretended tied it all together. It was like my personality and my own being was being broken down to it's pure biology - the entire person I had spent my whole life building up just being ripped away. The worst part is I was locked out of anything that had happened in my brain for the past 10 years. All the dreary foggy terrible memories were from random times when I was growing up, and none of them even had bad emotions attached to them! The horror was them being displayed to me as the only thing that made me a person. It was lifeless, cruel, something was telling me that I've never had any real life, and it was going to rip away every single lie I have told myself since I was born. And all that would be left is a broken and defeated nothing of a living being.

Now, I don't presume to get all spiritual here. That "something" was me, I mean right? I took too much drug, and it went to TOWN and the only thing they had to work with was this brain up here. I'm.... not sure where it came up with all that though. A current working thesis is that... it uncovered something? If marijuana truly only had my brain to work with, it pulled that ugly monster out of SOME deep dark corner. Now I'm sure it completely amplified and morphed this small insecurity into the terrible monster that it became, but nevertheless it was a monster of my own creation. And thats what makes it so terrifying, I was in agony and defeated by MYSELF. Well, plus a buttload of drugs. Hmm, maybe that was it. But Josh and Drew had the same amount! It could be explained away by different tolerances or different mental makeup. Either way, I crossed my boundaries like, WAY far.

Maybe I am overthinking this. I have slowly learned to deal with migraines for the past 10 years - and thats been a huge struggle to fight my body with my mind! Once it hits I can't do anything to stop it. But I've learned to accept it, I ride it out and deal with it - acknowledge that it'll get better eventually. I suppose that is the line of thinking from last night that kept me sane. I knew weed couldn't kill or maim you. You better believe I held onto that thought - that idea like it was my lifeline.

Anyway I told Amanda where the spare was, I got in my car and laid down eventually. I was glad Josh was there in the car with me for some of the time, as I mentioned earlier I knew I had no qualms putting myself in the "very bad victim" category. Normally I would feel bad Josh had to sit in the car with me for 30+ minutes, but I didn't! I was in so much bad having his slight uncomfort was almost expected. That sounds super selfish and I'm very grateful but thats how it was hah. He grabs me some water, dips inside towards the end so he didn't have to stay out there forever. Eventually I get inside, and onto the couch (around 12:10) and I somehow zoned out until 3. I remember some small conversation, someone passed me some sherbert and I think Amanda made pizza later. I knew I didn't want to sleep on the couch so I went downstairs and stole the bed in the middle of the room. Got about 6 hours, and still felt high when I woke up. And theeen I lazed around all day, took a nap and left and came here at 8.

So in conclusion. I think I might have got a bit too fanatic about the whole "hidden mental closet" thing, but maybe not. I definitely had a LOT of weed, and it definitly hit me wrong. The next few days will tell if there is anything different in how I...live? mentally? I think even now 48 hours the shock is wearing off. Even typing this it seems like a really vivid dream. I might not have even typed this if Josh hadn't mentioned that I maybe should, that these experiences can fade away. I guess i'm not surprised, my sober mind is probably busy chucking that memory into a trash bag and dragging it down to the landfill!

I guess, with my first few paragraphs being hindsight, I do have a lot of scary thoughts that I don't think about. Who am I really, what are my real boundaries, if I can throw out these big boundaries so easily, who's to say I chuck the baby out with the bathwater and give up on my personality as I've started with! Haha naa, I like what I am. There I said it, I am haappy with who I am. Maybe a bit more sex would help with the self esteem, and a bit more money would be quite welcome as well - but I'm doing alright. I've got my own house, a freaking perfect mini-studio in here, a tired but nice job, and a really awesome friend in Josh. In his parent's freaking fairy-tale house. 2/10 would bad trip again fo sho

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