#adhd and intense emotions
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ADHD & Intense Emotions
Future ADHD
Fixed typo
#adhd#adhd post#adhd and intense emotions#emotional regulation#rsd#rejection sensitive dysphoria#flight response#fight response#freeze response#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#feel free to share/reblog#Future ADHD (Facebook)
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tbh it is such an adhd experience to have to respond to such rapidly changing environments and to be expected NOT to throw a massive tantrum and to go along with other people's plans, and walker actually did an amazing job of showing what toll that put on percy in the first two episodes and how heightened his emotions must be because of it. he must be so, so especially close to snapping rn and it shows with his big reactions to finding his father, being determined to be noticed, straight up refusing his quest, and (likely, later on) diving straight into saving-his-mom-mode
#my adhd is comorbid with bipolar so my emotions get debilitatingly intense but that must still be something perce struggles with#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson live action#percy jackson Disney+#pjotv#walker scobell
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the way he literally has autism co-morbid with borderline personality disorder
#i’m so serious i’ve never been more sure of a headcanon before#common assumption is he has adhd which might also be true#but for mac most of his traits involve emotional dysregulation or social relationships#he needs constant reassurance that people still like him#he feels his emotions intensely in quick succession#his bpd is most likely a result of emotional neglect from his parents as well as the effect of going undiagnosed with him autism#to me this episode alone is evidence of this but i could write essays don’t test me#iasip#mac mcdonald#it’s always sunny in philadelphia
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Am I in love or is it my ADHD?
#i should probably explain what i meant by this#for me personally i was referring to the symptom “emotional dysregulation”#meaning#my emotions are all over the place#so i can love a person platonically and intensely#causing the confusion#adhd symptoms#adhd brain#actually adhd#adhd problems#adhd things#adhd diagnosis#adhd awareness#mental health#adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
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have i posted this don autism moment here yet. hes stimming <3
#skye's ramblings#ithink abt this panel a lot i love his smile . little guy <3#he is nowhere near ray levels of erratic hand movements (no one is.) but this and that one bit in ep 2 are good don autism moments#the autism hc for him started as pure projection but tbh the more i thought abt it. yeah theres some canon support#most obvious being how much he struggles with emotional regulation. 'inappropriate' reactions like him laughing before his meldown in ep 6#and of course how easily he cries from. any intense emotion. he is so important to me#actualy one thing abt don i think is interesting is his relationship w physical touch bc. don is very very physically affectionate#howevef there is a moment where hayato hugs him and he is. very unsure how to handle it. he also doesn't really know hayato at this point#so he could possibly only like physical touch if he's close to the person or if he initiates it. hesjust like me for real ..#and yah basicaly don is autism adhd combo swag to me <3 it is 2am goot night
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Sometimes, I wonder why I'm so raw on here.
Selfishly, it just helps to finally let what's in my mind OUT - and it helps me focus on my work and creative projects.
It feels GOOD to just let it all out bare. I feel heard and witnessed, and that is my NEED in this world. I shouldn't be ashamed of it.
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It's nice to chronicle this whole healing journey, too. It helps me feel less ashamed when I'm struggling, even though I know I'm getting better. I am getting so much better.
I'm getting so much better, yet I am being flipped inside out by this journey, and now, everywhere I go, I feel like people can see me: a bleeding, oozing piece of flesh that's trying to regenerate into something intelligible.
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Not so selfishly (yet somewhat so because I genuinely do like to help)... it feels like all this needs to have some sort of meaning in the large scheme of things. As I've mentioned to my friends and probably before on this blog... I wasn't given a lot of examples of what all this entails. I didn't accept that I was neurodivergent or trans for a long time. I talked about my childhood abuse behind closed doors (or not at all). I didn't fully investigate what was happening to me in life... let alone my own behaviors!
So, hopefully, someone can use this as an example to figure stuff out themselves.
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So I'm raw here because I want to be; it helps me and hopefully helps others.
#writing this at the end of a very intense emotional day#and i'm still trying to finish work tasks#crying on and off#sigh#healing#neurodivergence#trauma#self love#prose#heartbreak#emotional regulation#nervous system regulation ftw#audhd#autistic#adhd#healing journey
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me writing the most ooc Orochimaru to ever grace the planet earth: she's perfect.....
#to be fair the fic is written from a 7 year old with adhd and brain damage#...#mostly that hes 7 years old tbh. Orochimaru is like. i have to Emote the child needs to Learn INTENSE ENFORCING EYE CONTACG#👁 👁 ARE YOU LEARNING SON?#any way. take me away boys.
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You know an OTP is destined to ruin you, when you realize that you can project onto both of them in slightly different ways and for slightly different reasons.
#it happened with hathocent and it's happened again#only this time it's worse because the ship itself is more 'problematic'#estebalena#it's just....#he has the loneliness; the hunger to belong/be loved/be seen and heard; the catholic guilt and a massive heap of regrets and insecurities#she has the intense; overpowering emotions she cannot often control and implied lack of experience with romantic relationships#and hoo boy is she adhd coded or what?#he's neurodivergent coded too imo but not totally sure whether adhd; autism; or both?#they are both me and i am both of them and i desire both of them carnally (albeit one much more than the other)
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the fun part of having both Intense Interests Disorder(times two!) and a deep seated shame over my interests and generally my existence is that my "restraining myself" is other people's "wow, you really like this thing, huh?"
which truthfully doesn't help with the whole "letting go of shame" and "learning to be more open" thing
#get rid of all of the interests! we cant let people know we feel!#also by times two i mean adhd (known for being associated with intensity and lability of emotion and interests)#and autism (circumscribed interests is literally in the criteria)#throw in some bipolar in there too though. its also associated with emotional intensity and with fixations especially during (hypo)mania
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#I'm not entirely sure why but I often feel like I'm not really mature in the way that I'm supposed to be at my age ? Like I get very excited#about small things and find it hard to care about things I'm not interested in and have very intense emotions about things that probably#dont matter much and etc.#these CAN be described as just adhd symptoms sure but damn the part of my brain going 'thats stupid grow up'#is. not very nice#i think i shall try to exorcise it.#like. i cant change this. its not even doing any harm and if other people think im a stupid infant for it then thats not my problem
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If the average neurotypical felt emotions like I do for a day I think they would literally explode
#autism#adhd#i feel so deeply and extremely at all times#my emotions are incredibly intense all the time#ough#autismo core
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i can only read like one fic a day bc it takes me like Literal Hours to read a few thousand words bc i keep. i keep doing that jfdkldsjf if it’s a shorter fic i can write normal people comments but the long ones have me shackled like NO i HAVE to tell the author what i think of every third lines or else i will DIE. and so i cant just like read it on my phone in bed or out and about bc i gotta be able to type my comments as i go or ill forget!!!!!!!! live slug reaction in ao3 comments!!!!!
#IM SCARED IM OVERWHELMING PEOPLE#THEY TELL ME IT'S FINE AND THEY LIKE IT#BUT LIKE. IT'S A REOCCURING PATTERN FOR ME#i dont want to scare people away lol#i can be. overwhelming. a little too intense#u let me get a little too relaxed and i become. unleashed.#not to be a downer but it lowkey kinda scared people away from me as a kid i think#something something undiagnosed adhd and my hyperactive enthusiasm was like#idk too annoying or whatever#so rejection of peers + social anxiety = i learned to repress it in person a lot#plus talking scary#but when u give me a keyboard and online anonymity.... ruh roh the impulses are Free#it is. an outlet. telling people how i feel about their creations fkjldsfjklj#i simply have a lot of emotions in my at all times :')
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i feel absolutely socially incompetent lately and every single night im kept awake with anxiety thinking about how i handled every conversation over the past week and if i appeared normal and if i pissed anyone off and how stupid i look and sound in general. maybe i need to see my therapist again <3
#still wondering if this is just social anxiety leaving me this stunted or if theres More Going On#i feel immature and behind my peers in so many ways#maybe its a general issue with ppl viewing social anxiety as 'shyness and panic attacks' and not something that would shape my entire life#and how i interact with everything and everybody and the intensity of my emotions and my ability to talk and make friends and work#or maybe it is something more. the only ppl i can really relate to are my friends with autism and adhd#idk :(
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listening to an audiobook of hamnet by maggie o'farrell rn and im only on the first chapter and already im filled w tenderness and sadness for these twins we have so little historical information about, but whose fingerprints and shadows are all over so much of english literature
historical fiction where the protagonist is a real person is pretty much hit or miss for me, but the image o'farrell is creating of these kids is already really getting to me
#messages from the ouija board#maggie ofarrell: what if hamnet shakespeare had adhd#me: oh my god what if he did though#and i love her description of it! it hits so close to home! obvs she doesnt say 'he has adhd' bc its the 1580s#but she just like. completely described him as me at age 11 down to the way he baffles his teachers by being able to memorize lessons#but the instant a cart or a bird goes by hes completely in another world#the emotional intensity of seeing yourself reflected in a 16th century person..........
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man my adhd rlly is making me forget the most ridiculous words while writing. i couldn’t remember the word. for passion.
#tried several other words to describe what vibe the emotion i was going for had before finally remembering fvgfvg#passion as in like fierceness intense devotion to a cause not the sex/romance meaning to clarify#emily actually writes#actually adhd#with grace in your heart
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like my relentless ambition and inability to give up are definitely connected to my obsessive compulsive disorder. as is my perfectionism, my metacognition, my creative arts, my philosophy. it's not a personality disorder insofar as an integral way my brain functions that shapes so much of me.
#incoherents#i cannot give up on anything in my control so i must accept when things AREN'T. and give up.#i dont know if my intensity is based in this bc it FEELS connected by i havent heard of that? but i also have adhd#i dont think its bpd though bc it's not about emotional regulation its about ruminative thought and sensitivity
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