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#also did you guys know that if you're using a PC and you're writing the title of a post

classic-entp · 1 year

Text

Classic-ENTP #40

INTJ: I don't like you

ENTP: lol that's funny

INTJ: ...

ENTP: wait... actually?

INTJ: yeah, actually

ENTP: you genuinely don't like me?

INTJ: yep

ENTP: how???

INTJ: what do you mean, "how"? You are very easy to dislike. You're loud, annoying, have the memory of a goldfish, and never take anything seriously

ENTP: ...

ENTP: but those are my best qualities

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celestialprincesse · 3 months

Text

🪐🩷

I write sm of Simon with like super cutie patootie sweet softie gf's and today is not one of those days!! What about Si with a sassy, snarky spitfire of a partner.

He's kind of always thought that he'd want some soft, gentle, domestic partner to offset the general frustration and struggle of his work life. Some bird in a frilly apron to coo and preen at him like a wounded puppy.

And then he meets her.

She's some intelligence officer brought on by Laswell in hopes of attaining information on targets before missions to keep things running that little bit smoother.

She's had to not only survive, but thrive in a cutthroat mans world industry for years, and she takes not one single ounce of shit from anyone.

Price will occasionally (and very much unintentionally) simplify things for her in mission briefings and she just kind of sits there with arms crossed and a raised eyebrow until he gets the memo that he doesn't need to baby her.

She never has to actually go out into the field, so whilst the guys are all training in the gym, she sits and plays games on her phone or reads some smutty romance novels.

She didn't expect to fall flat on her ass for Simon Riley, but something about how quiet and level headed he is makes her very much metaphorically swoon.

He knows it, obviously. He's observant as fuck. He sees the way she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth when she has to crane her neck in order to look up at him, or when he casually helps her with boxes of files and she shifts bashfully from foot to foot, trying not to ogle his biceps.

When they start dating, she's not even afraid of the others finding out because they're too scared of her to tease the two of them.

They move in together and she designates the guest room for all of his man stuff, only to find out that he has like three personal items and some chargers. "The fuck you mean you don't have an ugly PC?! You're a guy?" He's so confused at her confusion until later in their relationships when she tells him that all of her past partners were kind of (major) dicks and that's why she didn't really date anymore, until she met him of course.

She tries really really hard to hide when she cries before he goes off on deployment, and works ten times harder to find useful information that will increase his chance of getting home to her safe.

He buys her really sentimental presents and she tries to hide how touched she is by calling him the softie even though she shamefully piles all of his clothes on the bed with her when he's away because she misses him so much.

She buys him a dog in secret on the same day that he comes home with a cat for her and they just sort of stand there in their front entrance like that Spiderman meme where they all point at each other.

The dog and cat love each other, almost as unlikely a pair as their owners.

She and Simon go into work one day and she's got a unique, delicate little ring on her left ring finger and the guys are like 😦"You got married and didn't invite us?" "No you fucking plebs we got engaged."

Never did anyone think they'd see the day where Simon Riley got engaged and thought about settling down.

They also thought the two of them hated each other until Simon casually is like "Oh, yeah no she and I went to this great place the other night. Good steaks."

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vxnillsstuff · 8 months

Note

Just saw your prismo headcount and LOVED THEM!!! Could you maybe do a little fic or headcanons (I don't mind) with a gen!neutral reader that can turn 2D? So they can interact with Prismo 'n stuff? Idk I think it just sounds cute :>

"In all your forms..." - Prismo (Fionna and Cake) X GN!Reader

NOTE: Thank you for the request and compliment! Question (for anyone who reads the notes... Would you guys like if I streamed on Twitch while I write or have a Discord server? I know some people enjoy that kind of community. LMK! Also, sorry if this writing is a little weird, i'm working on my PC.

------------------

You. You are an intern for the not-so-magical wishmaster, Prismo. You had been an intern for about... 50 years now actually! You wouldn't say you were extremely thrilled with being his intern, but hey; At least you weren't floating in the middle of the universe, slowly disintegrating.

You could go on and on about all the things that made you upset about him. His stubble, his messiness, his handsome face-

ANYWAYS! Ever since you got the job as "wishmaker intern", you've had the weird power to become 2D. Not the most favorable thing in the world but it made your job a little easier when it came to working with Prismo.

You were sitting in the time room politely while Prismo clicks through all the channels like he always does. "When will I ever get to use the remote?" You ask, crossing your arms.

"Maybe in a couple hundred years." Prismo says, a smug look on his face. You roll your eyes and scoot closer to him to see what he's doing. "You know... You're kind of a prick." You say, looking away from him.

He scoffs. "You could be floating around space right now, you know that, right?"

"Yeah yeah..." You say, glancing down at his thumbs as they flip through the channels. "Do you always have to be... I dunno... 2D?"

"What?" Prismo responds, slightly glancing in your direction,

"Can you be like... 3D?" You respond, feeling the tension growing in the air.

"Yeah but I don't like it..."

"Oh..."

You two sit in uncomfortable silence.

"Do you.. like me? Like... A coworker." He blurts, breaking the silence and putting the remote down.

"Wha- I mean, I guess." You say, looking over at Prismo.

He makes eye contact with you, making you tense up a bit.

"Then why do you always have an attitude?" He said, furrowing his eyebrows. You are silent.

"Exactly."

You didn't know why you were always so rude to him. Maybe it is a defense to your underlying feelings. You shiver at the thought of these feelings and it almost makes you feel sick.

"I can see right through you..." He says gently, his eyes piercing through you.

"Wha-"

He chuckles as if he isn't feeling anything. "You want to hate me, but you can't." He says.

What do you say to that? It's true. You feel cornered.

"Prismo.." You shutter out. He just... Laughs.

"You like like me!" He says, still laughing.

"Prismo stop- This is mean." You say, a blush spreading across your face.

"When did I say i didn't like you too?"

The words falling out of his mouth making you feel stunned. Is it a trick? A joke? You couldn't tell. Your heart felt naked and exposed with all of this emotion. You want to cry but, you wouldn't. At least, you wouldn't let him see you do so.

"I like you." Prismo says. He isn't joking. He isn't joking or tricking you. It is pure emotion.

There is a gentle silence.

"I like you too... I think i'd always like you... No matter the universe. I'd like you in all your forms." You say, feeling all the emotion that has been pent up within your heart release. Tears roll down your face but, you quickly try to wipe them up.

He smiles and helps wipe your tears. Being 2D made things easier, that's for sure.

"50 years..." He says, giggling.

You giggle with him, holding your hands together.

With him, time is forever. Time is now. There is no expectation other than one; that he will be there forever. A crush so childlike. So pure and undiluted. Just liking each other. Liking the presence of another.

"So... What now?" You say.

TO BE CONTINUED (IF WANTED)....

-------------------------

#adventure time #fionna and cake #fiona and cake #fanfic #fanfics #fluff #prismo #prismo fionna and cake #prismo the wishmaster #prismo adventure time #prismo x reader

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kristlewrites · 8 months

Text

“Baby I’m ready for take off”

CW: Cock Warming ,Chest Riding, Fluff(?), Poorly written smut, comfort(?) nicknames ( ma, mamas, papa, and baby)

PAIRING: Connie x Black!FemReader

WC: 0.9k

🫧🗯️: Test run post! Don’t judge🤒 ALSO! first time writing smut so if it’s bad i’m sorry, it’ll probably remain like that for a minute…(title is from a wayv song.. doesn’t have to do anything with the fic🪦🪦)

MINORS DNI

(take off!)

It's been a long day, long week even. School has been beating your ass with essays and finals..this was your only chance to relax. You enter connie's apartment around 6 pm, he wasn't there because he's also been busy but not with school. The team made it to regionals and the coach has been working the team the bone with drills everyday.

You use your key that he lent to you and make yourself at home, he lived off campus. You make your way into the shower and clean yourself up real quick and change into his pajamas, although a lot of your clothes is in his room, hell ! you even have your own drawer! But you love the way his clothes feels on you and his scent makes you feel safe. You were absolutely starving by the time you got dressed and decided to go order some food, wing-stop you finally decide you got yourself a 12 pc hot and lemon pepper with a side of fries and A sprite. When the food came around it was almost eight and Connie should be on his way home.

After you finished eating you cleaned up super quick and went to bed, connie showed up about an hour later. He knew you were here but seeing you in his sheets and pjs made his heart falter. He went in the shower quickly and joined you in bed. He tried his best not to make any noise but regardless you still woke up

"Sorry ma, didn't mean to wake you up"

he said so gentle,

"how are you? I'm sorry I came home late.. i didn't expect coach to keep us so long"

he caressed your cheeks trying to get you back to sleep. You looked up at his beautiful freckled face, you missed him so much you guys havent been able to see each other at all this week with being so occupied with your own personal activities and affairs. Small tears stream from your eyes, he wipes them away with such care and delicacy.

"I know, I know ive missed you too, baby"

You turn towards to him and indulge into his chest , he's not wearing a shirt which is normal since he gets really sweaty at night (😭😭🪦🪦🪦) you start talking about the events that happened that week, how your essay went, how you absolutely failed your stats test, new books you bought, girl drama, and how stressful it's been for you. He nods occasionally and throws in a couple of "mhms" to let yk that he's still listening. This goes on for about an hour and at this point you're just rambling, but connie understands how much you love to talk and let's you continue without complaint, that is until you ask him about his week and what he's done.

At this point he's practically knocked out.

"Hah, What was that baby what did you say??" he said a little bit groggy

You repeat your question, but while you do you see that he's HARD??? No way this man was hard from just hearing you talk.But then he must've been backed up from this whole week because of how rarely he saw you or had anytime for himself. When you think about it has been a while since y'all had sex, because of how seldom it's been to even talk to him on the phone

"Hey con.. You're hard, how long has it been?" you ask while playing with his nipples. (🪦🪦🪦)

"Baby you don't even understand how much i've missed you..c'mere" He pulls you closer to his penis.

Slowly he removes his pants and boxers, revealing his hard leaking cock.. good lord it was so much prettier than you remember. You slowly enter his dick into your hole, surprised by how wet you were.

"Be careful mamas I could jizz into you at any point" you laughed at his choice of words, it was clear that he hasn't been relived in awhile..and while you were also tired doesn't mean you could at least help him out!!?? and you were on the pill so that should count for something..right??? Continuing you grab ahold of his tip and insert it, until fully seethed into your pussy. It felt so good, you grabbed his hand and placed it on your stomach showing him where his dick is. That really pushed him over and sprayed your pussy through and through. your poor baby he was so sensitive. You guys stayed like that until morning.

Waking up, you find yourself looking at connie sleeping so soundly and peacefully. You reach for your phone but feel restricted once you've realized the man got a whole ass dick in you. omggg

"Baby wake up" you whisper yell, tapping his chest. you roam your fingers on along his abs, a few seconds later connie shifts a little bit to remove his cock from you and lifts you up and places you down on his chest. This all happens so quick that u immediately shiver, with your wet slicky pussy on top of his chest he begins move you up and down while his dick teases at your ass crack. Your nails dig into his abdomen while you grind your silky pussy over his abs. Connie's hands take pleasure in your tits while they bounce up and down, twisting and turning you nipples putting you into over drive. Your cum glazes over his abs, you panting hard. First thing in the morning... You rest your head on his chest finding his heart beat while he rubs your head calming you down.

"I love you ma" he whispers, he feels your smile into his chest and laughs a bit. He raises your head, "did you hear what I said?" He leans in for a kiss and you return it. "I love you too papa"

(Think of this as a soft launch ijbol)🫧🗯️

#Kristlewrites🫧🗯️#black reader smut #connie springer x black reader #aot x black reader #connie springer x black reader smut #connie springer smut #connie x black reader smut #aot connie #smut #aot fanfiction #fanfic #fluff #black writers

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

Note

Heyy :) Can you please write headcanons of dating quackity, but in his earlier eras? (like 2019-21 maybe) ❤

ooooo yes of course!!! ; fun fact I've been watching him since 2018 or so (I don't mean this in a "Oh I'm cooler than you way) ; thank you for the request!! this was fun as hell ; I tried to kinda do it in a chronological order but yeah, I did like stuff and then more details of relationship if that makes sense yk???

QUACKITY ; 2019-2021 era

warnings ; language, talk of drugs, jokes about sex

genre ; fluff

word count ; 858

masterlist

Raiding Club Penguin with him and Axel was a core memory for you. It was the first true time, however cringe it sounds, that you saw Alex as your best friend.

he'd always try to make you laugh, especially on stream

such a little tease

back in the olden days, we had those Discord server 'wtf is that food' videos

you guys rank some of them and how likely you'd eat them

also ranking Discord memes

so many of them were dumb shit or weird shipart from like 2015 deviantart LMFAO

"guys I know me and y/n are dating but that doesn't mean compare us to Shrek couples!"

"I thought Thanos was your true love?"

"He-He is! Oh my God, stop being so desperate, y/n. ugh"

once he got invited to the Dream SMP, you were all ears and proudly taught him how to play Minecraft

you made his alt skin with the tuxedo, which he didn't wear often, but used in lore some time later

youd often help him with lore ideas

he also got you invited into the SMP where he introduced you to some of his new friends

you knew schlatt and some others, but most of these people were new and it was nice meeting all of them

the fiances are established and then you and quackity are already a think and you also like karl, which creates a weird love rectangle with an open end because you and sapnap are sharing the other two 💀

lore goes fuckin crazy with that

while Karl's off making Kinoko Kingdom and Quackity's running Las Nevadas, you're building El Tropicana, off in the far away jungle biome

Alex would usually stream and translate Mexican soap operas, which you joined in for sometimes

you'd give the characters different voices and twist their words up a bit to make it more entertaining for chat

the amount of drug talk that went into that was wild

also the amount of queer kids bullied in those schools?? yikes on bikes

also the one with that girl who got in trouble for kissing a boy on the playground or whatever that was?? Jesus christ man

youd both act put the scenes on occasion and use Tiger as whatever kid was being yelled at if she was in the room with you

taking a break halfway through stream for him to play guitar and for you to karaoke to fuckin Bo Burnham

also making fake joints out of paper he had laying around and "lighting them up" aka setting paper on fire next to a PC and your faces

Jackbox streams with the Feral Boys until 3am>>>

Paranormal Activity in the middle of the night went so fucking crazy

teaching Bad how to play GTA is your favorite memory with those two

playing horror games and watching him play horror games with Karl while he visited him

how dare he leave you all alone (you couldn't go because you had a busy schedule)

your chats shipping the hell out of you and your dsmp characters

hella fanart and fanfictions man

try not to laugh streams where you always ended up laughing before the ten minute mark because of him

he purposefully does shit to make you laugh

reading fanfiction on stream was a regular activity especially for y/s/n

youd rank the book on a scale from one to ten and how accurate to real life they were

"nahhhh that one doesn't have enough Thanos, two out of ten"

"yknow what... were gonna have our own tier lists... okay?"

"damnit... does this mean I'm not getting laid later?"

"what"

promoting the quackityhq merch religiously

also stealing whichever beanie he wasn't wearing, either the LAFD one or the plain black and blue one

him tying you to a chair and forcing you to laugh was a common stream plot

tweets that were either very inconspicuous about drugs, very sexual, or very old married couple vibes

youd both be frequently trending on twitter

hot wings or dare streams with Bad >>>>

playing girls go games and hoping you wouldn't give his PC a virus

sitting in the inflatable pool fully clothed, playing with children's bath toys

he'd for sure be the type to fall for his best friend

whether it be all the way back then or just now, he could go forever without feeling any feelings but one day they'll show up and the nervousness begins

he'd lend you a hoodie if you were cold in his room and he just straight up begs you to keep it

lots of just staring at you while chat ships you, like genuinley just zones out on your pretty face

would probably doubt his feelings at first and talk to his mom about it and she's like "boy you have a crush. Go ask them the hell out, you're a handsome young man, I'm pretty sure they like you too"

"mOooOooOoOoM"

genuinley spoils you with no good reason and after a while you just accept it

he starts sending good morning and good night texts

he'll repost (or reblog) (he has a secret tumblr) fanart of you two, especially if it's shipart

will constantly send you clips of movie characters making out or kissing and say "this should be us"

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #quackity x reader #alex quackity x reader #quackity oneshot #quackity headcannons #quackityhq x reader #quackity #qsmp x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #they/them reader

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streaminn · 1 year

Note

This is my first time writing on PC! It's so much easier :)

Okay, remember how I wrote the bit about Enid going through a depressive episode in 2nd year?

This is my first time writing on PC! It's so much easier :)

What if I wrote the episode and Wednesday taking care of her? :)

Streamer Enid AU.

Also! I have a song recommendation! Love Like You from Steven Universe. Specifically the duet of Ashe and Caleb Hyles! :)

(They aren't dating yet.)

"Are you alright?"

"To be honest? No. Not in the slightest. Feel like dogshit."

"Is there anything I could do to help?"

"No, not really."

"Do you have... do you know why you feel this way?

"No."

"Melancholy, then."

The werewolf lifts up her head from it's spot of a disgustingly pink pillow.

Enid blinks at her.

Once.

Twice.

"I might be fruity but 'm not a fruit, Willa."

Wednesday feels like she's been shocked by Uncle Fester.

"What?"

"You said I have Melancholy. I'm not a fruit."

"Melancholy is sadness without an apparent reason," she wants to add venom to her voice. Call Enid Stupid and idiotic.

But it's Enid.

"Not a fruit, Enid.'

The blonde pouts, drops her head and lets out a pathetic sigh.

"Watermelon is my favorite fruit."

"I'm fond of Belladonna berries, personally."

Enid lifts her head again, this time turning on her back to face Wednesday properly.

She smirks. It's the closest she's been to a real smile since Monday.

It's Thursday.

"How are they named both so young and so old? I hear Bella and I think of Twilight- I hear Donna and I think of this old baker-lady from San Francisco who smoked like crazy and yelled at everyone. She beat a- did I ever tell this story?" Enid's grin is small. She has told Wednesday this story. Enid was tired.

She must've forgotten.

"Never." She lies.

"Well, she- she got robbed- attempted-ly robbed- is attemptedly even a word? Anyways- she almost got robbed, got the guy that broke in, and beat his ass with a rollin' pin. The cops had to pry her off!"

Enid's smile is bigger.

Her scars are lit up by light of the moon that peaks in from the window.

Her eyes glow in the dim lighting.

Her scars are pink.

Her eyes are blue.

"A pleasant story," Wednesday pretends she's never heard it, "what happened to the baker?"

"She's still alive! When I went home over break, she was still kickin'! I think she started smoking more, which is horrific- seriously, this woman smokes like 2 packs a day. It's nuts."

Wednesday hums.

She stands up and walks to the door.

"Wait!"

Her head snaps back so fast she can hear the pop that sounds in her neck.

Enid's hand is outstretched, and she's standing now, when Wednesday turns around she's retracting it in embarrassment.

"I- there's not really anything you can do to help, but that didn't mean I wanted you to leave." She flushes and looks at the floor.

"I'll only be gone a moment. I'll need Thing's help, also."

Thing runs to Wednesday's feet.

Enid's face is red. Wednesday can see her eyes get glossy with tears.

"Promise you'll both come back?"

Wednesday's hand tightens on the doorknob.

"I swear on Thing's life."

She faces the door again.

"Swear it on my life too."

Wednesday turns fully at that.

"What?"

"Swear it on mine too. You care about both of us too much to lie."

Enid swallows harshly. She doesn't move. Her arms are behind her.

Her scars are pink.

Her eyes are blue.

"I swear on the life of Thing Addams and Enid Sinclair that I will only be a moment."

"Okay."

Enid stares at the ground. She turns back to her bed.

"Okay."

Enid's on her stomach when Wednesday reenters the room.

Their room.

"Enid." Wednesday speaks quietly.

She spent time on this, but Enid needs rest.

She'd feel awful if she woke her "roomie."

"Yeah?" Enid rolls onto her back again.

What if Enid didn't like it?

Wednesday wants to vomit and scream and run away.

She doesn't.

"I have something that requires you to close your eyes and follow me."

Enid laughs- a puff of air, really, but it's better than her downcast face.

"First you're gone for 11 minutes, now you want me to follow you blind?" She stands and closes her eyes.

Enid counted.

Enid smiles.

Thing runs to his box.

Wednesday grabs her backpack.

She takes Enid's hand.

Her hand is warm. Her fingers are pink from the cold.

They start moving.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're 'bout to bury me alive!"

She sounds playful.

Good.

"If I wanted to kill you, I'd have used one of your revoltingly pink scarves to strangle you."

Pink scarves.

Her fingers are pink.

Her scars are pink.

Her eyes are blue.

They're outside now.

"Nice to know you have it planned. Though," Enid almost trips over a tree's root. She barely slows in following Wednesday, "I can't help but feel hurt that you'd be so..." She doesn't need to look back to know the smug shit is smirking, "barbaric! That's the word!"

Wednesday considers letting Enid hit a branch head-on.

She moves Enid out of the way of the branch that she can't see.

"I mean, I figured after being besties for so long you'd at least think about giving me some kinda dramatic death. Throwing me into a fire as my lover begs for my life? No? You have no taste, Willa."

She imagines Enid with burn scars. She thinks they'd run up her arms like sleeves. Maybe splashed across her ribs and stomach.

The scars would be pink.

Her eyes would still be blue.

"I'd kill your lover first. No witnesses."

"You wouldn't grant me my final death-wish of being dramatic as I go?"

'I'd join you in the fire. I'd burn with you because to lose you would kill me in a different way.' It climbs up her throat and sets on her tongue.

She doesn't let it leave her mouth.

"I'd write something funny on your urn."

"Make it a pun," they're nearing the spot now, "and I'll consider forgiving you for not giving different-timeline me a death worthy of being on a K-drama."

"Done."

She leads Enid to the spot.

"Sit."

"I'm not a dog, Willa-"

She sits.

"-I take offense."

"Open your eyes."

Enid opens her eyes.

They're on a blanket in the forest. Wednesday has the laptop the sat delicately on the blanket.

The blanket's big.

"Wednesday..." she breathes softly.

"You always wanted a girls night." She sets her backpack down, zips it open, and pulls out her supplies.

Nail polish.

Cans of juice and soda.

Snacks.

A another blanket.

"You are the best roomie." Comes out soft. Like it left her mouth without her knowledge.

"I thought... if ever I should indulge you." She pauses.

The stars are bright, so far out from the light pollution. It illuminates them both.

Enid stares straight up to the sky.

The colors of the stars reflect in her eyes.

Her face is lit up, just barely.

There's pink in the blue of her eyes from the stars.

Her scars are pink.

Her eyes are blue.

"It should be now."

Enid stands suddenly, faces her roommate, grabs Wednesday's face and kisses her.

Her lips are warm.

Her lips are pink.

They both stare at each other when Enid pulls away. Neither making a sound.

Enid sits back down.

Wednesday stands.

It's quiet.

Enid gasps sharply, and turns her head up to face Wednesday.

"OMG! Can we watch The Sunrise Paradise? Please?!"

Wednesday blinks.

"The... Sunrise Paradise?"

"The K-drama? It's sooooooooo good! Swear on Thing!"

Wednesday presses her lips into a line.

Enid's warmth sits on them like the taste of red wine.

"Swear both on Thing and me."

Enid's face drops, and for one, dizzying moment, Wednesday wonders if she's said the wrong thing.

But then Enid grins. Bright and blinding and beautiful and Wednesday understands why humans love.

Enid, still grinning, places her right hand over her heart.

"I, Enid Sinclair, swear on the life of Thing Addams and Wednesday Addams that The Sunrise Paradise is the most incredible show ever."

Wednesday joins Enid in her sitting.

"I trust you."

The show is good, Wednesday loathes to admit. The characters are well-written and the cinematography is great and the actors are a perfect cast.

"It's adequate."

Enid has a smile on her face. She hasn't stopped smiling.

"That's Wednesday for 'you're so correct that it's embarrassing me, Enid.'!"

"That's... That's 'Wednesday'?"

"It's how you talk; I wouldn't force you to talk differently, so I learned how to speak Wednesday!"

"I- uh..."

A gasp.

"Do I have the Wednesday Addams lost for words? Oh, I feel powerful!"

Wednesday wants to slap the smile from her lips.

She wants to kiss them.

"You mentioned a "Twilight" earlier."

"I don't think it's your kinda movie. It's like watching Tyler and-"

"You don't need to add more. Tyler's essence being in that movie is more than enough to sway me away."

Enid nods.

Then flops backwards, starfishing herself.

Enid looks at the stars.

The stars light up her eyes.

Her scars are pink.

Her eyes are blue.

"Enid?"

"Yeah?"

"I was wrong. earlier."

"What'da you mean?"

"About my favorite fruit."

Her scars are pink.

Her eyes are blue.

"They're strawberries and blueberries."

She lies next to Enid. Shoulder to shoulder.

She looks at the stars.

There's green.

Red.

Orange.

Pink.

Blue.

"Willa?"

"Yes, Enid?"

"Do you think... do you think we'll be together forever?"

Wednesday's heart beats harder.

"In what way?"

"Like-" Enid sticks her arm up so Wednesday can see her hand flip about. "-like friends?"

'Why just friends?' she wants to say.

She doesn't

"I meant it in first year when I said your mark was indelible. Even if we grew apart, there's no doubt in my body that I'd remember you."

"How did I leave an inedible mark on you? You never told me."

"Indelible."

"Answer the question."

Wednesday takes a deep breath through her nose.

She pushes it out through her mouth.

"I think... I think to lose your mark would be to lose my humanity. The compassion you taught me."

A huff.

"Everyone's got some compassion."

"Maybe. But I've always been told that I needed to express it by people who faked theirs-" She turns to look at the side of Enid's face.

She's still looking at the stars.

Her scars are pink.

Her eyes are blue.

"-You live by compassion. You exude it."

Wednesday turns to face the dimmer stars above her.

"I've always learned better by example."

She feels a hand brush hers.

She takes it.

"If we were to grow apart, how would you want it to happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like. Would you want to go our separate ways hating each other? Slowing losing contact and not doing anything to get it back?"

"I would want to lose you through your choices."

She can hear Enid shift to look at her.

She turns herself to look at Enid.

The stars are brighter.

"What?" It's breathless.

"You're important to me, Enid. I want what is best for you. If we were to grow apart, I'd want to be from you deciding it's what's best for you."

"Oh."

Enid turns to face the sky.

Wednesday's still looking at the stars.

"I'd want to hate you."

"Oh?"

"'Cause, I... You mean quite a lot to me too, Willa. I don't ever want to forget you. If we grew apart, I'd want to hold a grudge because those last. Donna still knows that robber's name and she still calls him the scum of the earth. That 30 years ago when he was 15 and she was 35."

"Mother has said to be careful whom I offend. She's said spite can weather time better than love."

Silence.

Wednesday likes the quiet.

It leaves her less stimulated.

It makes it easier to burn the curve of Enid's jaw into her mind's eye.

Her scars are pink.

Her eyes are blue.

"Right and wrong."

"Pardon?"

"Spite can weather it better. But I think you mistook her words. You think spite will weather time better than love. It's only a can."

Enid's thumb brushes the back of her hand.

"I think it depends on the people with the love."

Wednesday hums.

"What could make you hate me, Enid?"

"Hmmmm. That's tough."

Enid looks at her.

Wednesday never stopped looking at her.

"Set all my stuffed animals on fire and replace all my clothing with black suits."

"Simple enough."

"Are you planning on earning my- my- my ire? Could you really be so cruel?" She puts on a faux shaky tone.

"I'm only saying it's surprisingly easy to make you hate someone. Maybe I was wrong about you being compassionate. Maybe you're as spiteful and vengeance-loving as me."

"Maybe so."

Enid squeezes her hand.

She squeezes back.

"What about you? What could make you hate me?"

Her scars are pink.

Her eyes are blue.

"Make everything pink."

"Hey! Show some respect- pink is an incredible color!"

"Maybe so."

Her scars are pink.

"I just don't think I could bare to forget blue."

Her eyes are blue.

-Writer Anon.

WEDNESDAY YOU ABSOLUTELY DAMN SAP

i love the repeating of enid's colors, really slamming it in how much Wednesday thinks they're important. How much Enid is important. Also idk if its just me but the pink dye is enid's hair temporary, the pink tint of the scar will fade to something darker. But blue? Blue is enid's eyes, blue will forever stay, it wont ever change

Just like Enid's presence, enid's mark

anyways, have this lil tidbit

"I think i said i'd rather hate you because it would be easier," Enid says. "but.. i don't think i would hate hate you."

Wednesday eyes her, "What do you mean?"

"Hate means disliking something so much that its all i see." A breath of air comes. "But i don't think a part of me could ever hate anything about you. I'm sure that'll stand even when we're miles apart."

Wednesday stares. Is that.. a good thing? She stays silent but the slight raise of her brow was enough for Enid to explain.

There's a pause and she really wondered if she was really going to say what she's planning to. Well, in for a skip and all for a drop or however it goes.

"Maybe if you asked me last year, i'd consider it but now?" There's a shy smile on Enid's face, her eyes staring onto the curious ones of Wednesday. Its hard to even think that she could've hated the girl lying next to her. Its no wonder the words that come next is easy, like settling into a bed. "I love you too much to even do so."

Wednesday stares.

Enid scrambles for a response, the beat of her heart loud and pounding against her ears. "I mean obviously you don't have to love me back and stuff! its just part of the explanation-"

She's still staring.

"-and like Love means seeing the thing you like and dislike about a person and still willing to care for them despite that! So i could never dislike you enough to hate you because i love you alot more-"

"i think i get it," Wednesday murmurs and its in the silence that Enid realizes just how close the two are.

Now they're both staring and Enid is lowkey losing her shit inside her head because did she just confess?

what kind of dumbass just confesses accidentally!?

Her, apparently, oh my go-

"That would mean i love you too," Wednesday carefully places and just like that, she drags Enid out of the depth she just drowned herself in.

Wednesday has that gift, she supposes. Being there.

"oh," Enid replies. "Cool," she continues, hardly trying to fight back the grin that's growing on her face. "Coolio."

There's warmth in her palms and they're still holding hands.

"Cool," Wednesday agrees and she's smiling.

She's beautiful, Enid notes. If lying down and making an embarrassment of herself means she could see that-

Well, she wouldn't mind doing it for the rest of her life.

#streamer enid au #wenclair #writer anon #writing #THEYRE SO CUTE FUCKSKAKDSDAD #TY AGIAN

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heckinhacker · 1 year

Note

hi so i was wondering if u could do one like “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.” but with kyle, like they are the same and everything, idk if u have already done it

Kyle Broflovski x Reader - South Park might be saved, after all??

Which means we get the version where Kyle meets someone similiar to himself! It's like a 'sequel', (but not really, more like an alternative version with same trope) to “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.”

Remember that when I write for South Park, they're teenagers at less(16 y/o minimum), adults at most! it's silly i write it every south park post but better safe than sorry~

I gave Kyle green color for easier reading experience in dialogues!

note: color code might be broken because lately tumblr on pc is being silly goofy

Kyle had a great grasp of how fucked up situations in south park are having occurances

Aaand he's pretty aware there will be noone else who understands him.

Or so he thought.

There is a new student announced to be in his class while you all were in 4th grade or so?

And you seemed not too quiet, nor too shy, but surely smart enough not to push yourself into any weird situations.

Teacher sat you both together and Kyle tries to talk you up-

"Hey! I'm Kyle, it's refreshing to have a new face around. Want to play with us on long break?"

It's nice to have a new group to play with, so you agree.

Ah, kids and their not complicated feelings, right? <3

You tag along, and you grew really quickly to dislike Cartman-

It's not hard to hate him he's UNBEARABLE,

Kyle wants to let out his signature "Shut up, fatass!"

but you beat him to it-

"Shut up, fatso, mama did not taught you to behave, or was she absent in your life like yo papa?"

You had NO idea he's fatherless and it made other guys go "OOOHHHH--"

you made yourself an enemy in Cartman,

but an ally in Kyle.

You seemed to have similiar nerdy interests,

From playing Stick of Truth and heroes,

to DnD (that he played online, because not with his group-- but he invited you into his new online session!!)

Beside Terrance and Philip, Kyle also liked that vampire/werewolf series called "Under Devil's grasp" that seemed mostly for girls or boring, yet he liked it in secret and once he caught you watching first episodes, just...because,

and then joined you, for his own re-watch and your first watch, he liked seeing how you reacted

"HOW COULD YOU?" you asked out of sudden once, in a call,

"How could I what?" Kyle asks, having you on speaker while he does his homework.

" YOU KNEW ALL THE TIME THAT BARRY WILL BE KILLED AND YOU DID NOTHING TO WARN ME, I GREW TO LOVE HIM AND NOW HE'S GONE."

"Well, you said no spoilers?"

"KYLE."

He giggles, "Plus he had death flags since always so-"

He's playing, it turns out Barry barely lived and hid for like season and a half to return in dramatical moment that he watched with you and you SCREAMED.

And he has a blast with your reactions <3

And so on, you bond over similiarities,

Over years you put many blood, sweat and tears into your friendship, and you're glued by hip. Kyle won't ever pick between you and Stan who is his closer friend, it would be even cruel to ask.

You two got along decently, good, not badly, but it always seemed you're more closer with Kyle than Stan.

You grew beside each other and your families became one, big family because of how close you've gotten between each other and made them grow closer. (Or not if your relation with them is bad)

No matter your family (or your own) relligion, you spend Hanukkah with Kyle and it's almost a norm of you being around.

Listen, Ike? Absolutely adores you. Kyle sometimes has a laugh your'e more of an older sibling than he is.

(Absolute bull, we all know Ike loves Kyle the most <3)

Kyle's family wanted to make little ride to nearest amusement park

Of course they suggested you go too! You're a part of the family already <3

You have the fun of your lives, all of you. Kyle's parents mostly chill around but you, Kyle and Ike are using all the activities possible while you can, stuffing yourselves with snacks and sweets.

Bad idea, if you'd ask me

You went to roller coaster and none of you paid no mind in that choice,

but Kyle's stomach DID pay a mind

Especially in a middle where he felt like throwing out

And hell, he did! But he took out his hat and puked int oit so noone got blessed with mix of dinner and snacks.

He was almost carried out of the roller coaster by you--

You decided to go to ferris wheel and call it after a day.

They were two-people cabin on the wheel, so Ike let you two have one while he went with some other random kid.

Ike is your biggest wingman, he did that on purpose of course. Little guy <3

When you're up high, alone, with Kyle, having option to look at all the view, you can't help but to look at little buildings under you, and then to take a peak at Kyle.

Oh boy, were you surprised when you met his gaze-

He blushed furiously and muttered "Sorry- Uh- did not mean to stare."

Of course - you did not mind, but that was SURPRISING.

You did not bother him about it though. Whatever he had in mind - nothing, or something, he will come around.

But you might've realised that you DO have feelings towards your childhood best friend. For sure.

You remember how I mentioned your shared liked series with Kyle, "Under Devil's grasp" ? Soo...

Imagine it was near end, and studio decided to make finale into movie, two and half hour long one.

It's a series you two follow since you were kids, OF COURSE you have to be there in the cinema.

You ride with Kyle to big city, with his freshly acquired driver license and shitty car of his.

You enjoy your WHOLE drive there, time spent in bigger city, it all was just amazing.

Series, even though it was mostly about vampires and werewolves, was called "Under Devil's grasp" and it's very questionable, for years there were just theories, yet the movie after all those years of content literally ended with said title as last words.

Y'all were crying already enough but it was such a HIT in the face

When you walked out of cinema you whipped your tears out of your eyes, so did Kyle, as you giggled and gushed about the ending of your beloved series.

Ride home was mixed, going from peaceful to chaotic, just atosphere was...magical. Lights of highway, music blasting loudly and Kyle jamming to it, while you take a glance with full adoration at him.

You sing a little, then you rest and sooner than later end up in South Park.

Kyle drives to your house first to drop you off, walks out of car to walk you to your door, and gazes at you.

"Thank you...for today. I had fun! I hope you did too."

"I did, you kidding me? Thanks for even offering. I...really appreciate it."

Kyle seems to hesitate, and then sighs deeply.

"...I love you."

" Yeah, good night to you too man- oh wait what the fuck-??"

"I...wanted to say so, and today's spent time with you made me realise I'd hate you to spend the day out of South Park with someone else. I'd hate for you to have late-night drives with somebody else, I'd hate to see you happy with somebody else because...well, I wish you stayed with me. Of course I mean- have fun with others, I just...I wish you'd keep your heart on my hands. It's fine if you'd prefer to stay friends, I hope it doesn't break our friendship. But I uh...I wanted to let you know."

...that was...a lot. Wow."

He thinks it's a rejection, but...

It's not, really

You grab his cheeks and kiss him before he can get into tangent of self-doubt.

Then smile at him,

and say:

"Information saved. Let's grab something to eat tommorow together too, alright, boyfriend?"

You smile and wave him away goodnight and closed your door.

...

"...boyfriend?"

He's so giddy pls <3

Other's reactions:

Ike:

FUCKING FINALLY 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALO.

My little dude was waiting for the moment you hold hands and kiss each other already for TOO LONG

I mean, don't kiss too much in front of him he'd gag, it's still his older brother we're talking about

but at least Kyle pinning over you days are OVER.

He congratulates you and gives you gift cards of "congratulations on marriage!" drew with crayons and pencils

My man Ike is an anime fan, he made you badass gift card <3

Stan:

Not surprised but surprised at the same time.

He's second biggest fan, first being Ike

He learned the news from Kyle himself the same night you became a thing, later Ike hit him up because he was excited BSHSH

He hears Kyle out and congratulates him A LOT

Kenny:

He kind off knew? everyone kind off knew but he was sure you were already dating so...

news were shocking because

"Weren't you dating already? damn-"

he was sure you're married and expecting a kid/j

he doesn't have strong reaction because, as I said, it's not much of a news for him not going to lie

Cartman:

He always tried taking away whatever Kyle loved the most

So he's salty he failed this time

He always makes you both miserable, with slightest show of affection he is making big clown show out of it

Enough that just guys ask you to STOP with PDA because Cartman is being fucking annoying

He's just that salty single friend man for sure <3

Lemme be honest, it's not one of my best works, but I have (I am in a middle of...) 9 days streak of work straight, I am exhausted beyond human belief, but maybe because my ability to hold my ground is shitty, thanks depreshon--

So yes, It's not my best piece, but it was pretty much expected, so :>

I wanted to tag @bath1lda because of "kyle kyle" spam ask hehe- I hope you, and everyone else who read it, a nice "have a good read" :>

#hacker writes #headcanons #south park #south park x reader #kyle #kyle brovlofski #kyle broflovski x reader #south park kyle x reader #sp kyle #sp kyle x reader

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jjmaiam · 2 months

Text

for anybody that needed this I translated this video of Chuck's voice actor in English.

https://youtu.be/QmsFazwIViA?si=TH7nKvGCdXYMY-Nt

i didn't write everything they said and i didn't translate it literally! I'm not English so it's not gonna be perfect!

it was summarized a bit to not make it too long.

@itsmalachitenow

Ferre (the youtuber): welcome guys to the video, today we're back with brawl stars. We're here with someone you would never expect. First of all, can I ask your name? Nicola(Chuck's voice actor): Nicola F: Nicola, can you make us understand why you're here with a quote? Nicola: Eccomi, il maestro! (here I am, the maestro) F: I'm really excited Nicola: me too, me too F: it's the first time I ever talked with a brawler's voice actor! Nicola Because it's the first brawler to be Italian, so they chose a native Italian and here I am! F: You also did some English voice lines. N: exactly. Some of the members of the brawl stars production love Italy so they've wanted for a long time to add a Italian character. Our national pride! It's the first time this has happened! F: you basically explained to me that you had a friend that played brawl? N: I have a friend that plays a lot of brawl stars, not like me that I had it installed on my phone for some years but… F: so you know brawl stars N: yes, I know some things, sometimes I played it some years ago. But I didn't know what I dubbed! F: I'll leave you some time to introduce yourself N: Well, I've been a professional voice actor for five years now, in home studio. I tried to, let's say "knock on doors" to get into this job. But then Covid started and all of those "doors" closed. 30yo, with a little kid, I had to start with home studio. Obviously you can't do everything because you need people physically and on the studio at home you do everything and it becomes more difficult. Soon I'm gonna be 36 and I started at 30 to continue this passion that I had since I was a kid. When I was little I always played with the recorders or sometimes I took apart pc's, and thanks to that I have some manual skill. In chuck's case it was my first experience with a live direction with a person that was kilometers away from me. F: I'll leave everything Nicola does in the description! N: I particularly remember chuck's dubbing experience because I did that the 15 of august in the morning. F: other than having an iconic voice, you also need a crazy voice control to do all those different tones! N: and I have a cold! well, when you have to do certain things you need to be able to do them in any physical conditions. I also did for many years theater, when I was 20 I started voice acting thanks to a man that did documentaries. He made me record this and I remember he payed me so I understood that this was a job, what I did as a game, for passion, was actually a job! Well one day one of my friends told me that I was in your video and made me watch. there I understood what I actually dubbed! most of the times I don't know what I'm dubbing! F: if any of you guys recognize his voice in a game or anything tell us N: yes! it would also help me making a more public portfolio. F: your voice changes from character to character, it wouldn't be easy to recognize you N: oh it wouldn't be easy, they're all different. In chuck's case there was a mass selection of speaker and Italian voice actors, 70 people answered. there was a mini description of who was chuck, basically there was written that he is an Italian train conductor and ex orchestra "maestro" and there was this project called" voice character Chuck" I didn't have any other information, the only other information other than the script and the name was a YouTube video of Alex Brightman, he's an American actor that also did the musical of Beetlejuice, and he explained how he did his vocal characterization. doing chuck was pretty fast and the director told me how much he liked Italy

i just realized that half of it is gone.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Basically at the end of the video he makes some voice lines and takes lines of other brawlers (Bull Carl and Mortis) so if you want to hear him go at the minute 17:25 of the video.

he also makes a joke that trains in italy are slow.

#chuck brawl stars #brawl stars #brawl stars chuck

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shiveringgroovy · 2 months

Note

PART 3 HC ASKS

WHAT KIND OF COMPUTER DOES EVERYONE USE ipads/tablets are allowed im extending this to like phones and stuff i've just decided

errrm HEHEHE !! gonna do my favs for this :3

Sheogorath

not a big computer guy. probably has a fuckass nokia phone and has hit computers with golf clubs before.

haskill gives him a tablet to watch shitty youtube videos on

i know he fucks with really bad yt shorts

probably invented them tbh

Atsushi

has a phone and that's about it

uses agency computers for work and kinda hates operating them (they also kinda suck so yk)

Sotha Sil

INSANELY FAST RUNNING SETUP

like 500 monitors and LEDs and a see-through tower and a fucking gaming chair

blender king

probably built it all himself

he's insane

the electric bill is through the roof.

Fyodor (i actually despise him but it's funny)

so he canonically has the worst most diabolical evil fucked up setup known to MAN please get him to touch some grass i'm begging you

freaky ass medieval peasant that introduced HIMSELF to goreshit

discord is running somewhere there. trust me

Relmyna Verenim (did you guys know i like her)

also has multiple monitors, not as many as sil but yk

probably runs like super slow and she has to resist the urge to snap her monitors in half every time she tries to open up any program

minecraft girlie (i also hc her as trans she's very loser scientist transfem coded)

she spends most of her time in the field but she likes her computers to write down her stuff

Yosano

has a tablet and a phone

uses them sparingly, but talks to ranpo a lot over texts

Vivec

has the newest phone models. always buys them instantly.

they're a prick

probably has a fucking typewriter rather than a computer because he's pretentious

Ranpo

has a tablet and a phone, uses them much more often than yosano

he seems like he prefers to read on screens than books imo

it also makes more sense, he doesn't like carrying a bunch of stuff around so having a tablet would be convenient

will text people while sitting directly across from them

Dagoth Ur/Voryn Dagoth

has a flip phone and that's it

Jouno

bc he's blind, he's not a fan of technology all that much, but uses screen readers and speaks to type.

more of a phone guy!!

has cut a laptop in half before

Nerevar

doesn't believe in computers

Kenji

also doesn't believe in computers

Lucien Lachance

owns a laptop but never uses it

written mail type of guy

Q/Yumeno

would go apeshit on a tablet.

probably a really big art fan, so really uses them for drawing and games and stuff

someone introduce this kid to a pc with a drawing pad

also loves music, would be the only normal technology user on this list istg

Haskill

owns something for every situation

nothing too fancy tbh

has a home pc, a laptop, a phone, and a tablet

uses them all for his job and has them all labelled and everything

has games on his phone for sheogorath

Ivan Goncharov

it's cause you're always on that damn rock

hates typing with every fiber of his being

smashes shit. has absolutely crushed pushkin's phone before and pushkin almost shot him

uses laptops and pcs out of necessity, uses walkie-talkies for communications because he just likes them

Ocheeva

biggest spreadsheet fan of all time

has a laptop that flips into a tablet

she loves organizing things and presenting them to the rest of the dark brotherhood

they don't listen to the immense power of a girl with a spreadsheet. like fools.

Bram

mp3 player or a phone just for music purposes

pays for every music subscription known to man

last.fm ass bitch

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kerubimcrepin · 4 months

Text

Episode 22 - The Giant Ploomers (part 1)

Very glad to report that I am writing this liveblog from my pc yet again.

It's so nice to see him doing some actual work, instead of just Fucking Around.

Kittyyyyy.

I know that it's cartoon logic, and all, but like... It's so unserious that she is made fun of for this to me.

If I saw these in real life, I would think, "these people have a REALLY weird carpet that's made from the same fabric as underwear. And that's okay."

A kids cartoon being unrealistic. Smh, smh...

Guy who just realized he admitted to a weird fucking thing that most people would NOT understand. Including me. Because I don't understand.

Also, this entire moment is a Certified Kerubim Face Journey by far. There are like 20 different expressions here.

He is so... weird. And I both detest and love him for it.

Coward Simone vs. Joris, the bravest warrior of the World of Twelve.

Lou's birthday is somewhere in the summer. Quite funny, considering Joris's is in winter. That's two characters we can pinpoint (though, I wouldn't call "knowing the exact date of Joris's birth" pinpointing, but I digress.)

For some reason, I have so many Emotions about this goddamned tower being a reoccurring location for Lou and Kerubim.

It's a nice little spot, yeah, but through being a nice little spot, it gained ~emotional significance~

(Guy who thinks a lot voice)

I like it that Kerubim even as a young little boy has unrestricted access to huppermage materials that he's probably read. Bit of a win for the "Kerubim studied necromancy" truthers among us.

His ideas of gifts are "skull" and "spellbook"

Ouughughgh (keels over) do you think he chooses gifts for Joris's birthday like that too.

This spellbook is so cringe for immediately falling apart in his paws. What if I wanted to see Kerubim interact with Forbidden Materials, hm?

Cats are Liquid is an indie 2D platformer game from 2015, it is about depression, and it is available for free on Google Play.

I know it's very obvious, especially with bands being a thing, but records are a thing in the World of Twelve. Which is cool.

...God, you have no idea how hard it is not to use this moment to plug my character playlists for Kerubim, Joris, and Atcham.

This you?

This you - this you - this you?

Anyway, hot take, but:

I think this episode takes place before Dance Against Boowolves due to him becoming a bit okay with girly things in it.

Next time you say that Atom is the first nonbinary character in Krosmoz, remember Kerubim. You're making her sad.

If someone did this to me, ripping this shit off instead of peeling them slowly and gently, I would do unspeakable evils onto them.

She is a very patient and gentle soul for simply beating them up.

A fate worse than death, Keke. A fate worse than death.

#ro liveblogs dofus #krosmoz #wakfu #dofus #ep22

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anormalweirdo · 10 months

Text

Part two of my YouTuber!Itadori X reader. If you missed part one it's right here. I hope you all enjoy my new series and if you have anything you want me to write about feel free to ask 😄. I know there's most likely errors and mistakes and I'm sorry bout that. I was just rushing to put this out, especially considering it's been almost a week since the first post came out. Once again I hope you all enjoy my series💙.

You honestly still couldn't believe that you even got a response from the gaming YouTuber himself. You guys have finally contacted each other to plan out a couple of days where you're both free to meet up to record your videos for you separate channels. You two decided not to tell your fans about anything, if anything you chose to trick your fans into believing that he never responded to you. Considering that Itadori did get comments about you and the whole collab which eventually caused him to just turn his comments off completely. Many people were left confused to say the least when you posted a tweet saying "it's finally the day, stay tuned bad bitches‼️".

"Alright you ready to start this shit" you ask while adding your finishing touches to your gaming setup. "Of course I'm so ready to beat your ass" Yuji says while smirking. You press start on your live and watch as people start to join. "Sup bad bitches guess who I'm with today" you say as you grab Yuji's arm and put him more into the camera. "It's yujiiii" you yell. "The people in the comments already excited" yuji says while reading some of em." Yea they've been waiting for this for a lil minute". You sit down in your chair all ge way and put your headphones on while you see yuji staring at you through the camera. "What are you looking at" you say in curiosity. "You" "um why?" "I can't look at you?" He asked while laughing. "No don't be weird now that we finna play this game" "yea yea whatever just prepare to take yo L". "You never showed me how to play this game, so if I lose its your fault" you say annoyed. "You never asked me how to play. I would've been showed you." Itadori says while shrugging his shoulders. You roll your eyes and turn your attention to some of the people in your comments. "Itadori someone asked 'is this why you turned off your comments'". "Oh yea you guys where flooding my comments over her and this collab, so I had to turn em off so I don't get thousands of notifications a day". He joins you and do some comment reading of his own when his eyes glance at one particular comment, which seem to have his attention. He ignores the comment for now, thinking it'll be a good time to announce it while y'all are playing. If his cards is played right it could be used as a distraction. "Alrighty let's get this shit started for real" you say while grabbing your controller. "Ready to lose" Itadori ask with a smirk. "Hell no" you say while smirking back.

...

Fast forward a few minutes and a couple of losing rounds you finally had Itadori in a losing situation. Just as you were about to make Itadori get his first L of the night he asked you a question. "One of.the comments said that you had a major crush on me. Is that true?" It was like the whole screen of your gaming PC went blank as your eyes grow wide and you mouth open. Itadori celebrates as "WINNER" is flashed on his screen. You quickly snap back into reality as you look at the "LOSER" on your screen, still a bit in shock. "That's no fair, you cheated to get that win" "we never said that simply asking a question to each other was cheating, but you didn't answer my question babe" he says while turning his attention to you. You're in even more shock, not only did he win the game, but he also asked you a crazy question, and he called you babe. You look back at him and simply shrug your question, trying to seem uninterested. "Yeah but it wasn't nothing major" "uh huh sureeee" Itadori says while laughing as you roll you eyes. "To y'all people watching this don't think nothing of this, it was just something slight" you say as you huff. "I want yall to make all the edits of us after this collab". You look at the comment section which were mostly filled of a both of comments like "I definitely ship" "y'all are literally perfect" and "please get together". You laugh at some of the comments, especially the ones in all caps. "You guys can't expect us to do anything, especially when we literally barely know each other. Maybe in a couple of weeks." You say laughing "so you do like me" Yuji says while looking into the camera. "Omg not no more, now you're just annoying" you say while getting out of you chair to use the bathroom. "Excuse me" "you're excused" "don't start this childish shit, scoot overrr" you say. "Say please and I'll let you move babe" "oh my fucking god please move" you say irritated. Itadori finally moves out the way, as your walking in front of him he watches you walk away. His eyes look at your ass as.your hips sway. He looks back into the camera and smirks to himself. "Y'all if we ever get together she owes me $20".

Once the live was almost over you announce one more game as Itadori left to get y'all something to drink. "What the hell are y'all talking about" you say as you read the comments about the deal Itadori made without your knowledge. "He didn't even tell me about any deals or anything" "maybe we should make a deal, but what's it about?" You ask. The comments were quick to tell which made you laugh. "Bet we'll make that a deal, but ain't no backing out". Itadori soon comes back into the room and gives a look when he sees you sitting in his chair. "Can you get up?" He ask. "Say please and I'll let you move babe" you say mocking him. "Can you please get up L/N" "hmmmmm no" "alright bet". You don't think nothing of it until you see his back facing you. You quickly lose your breath as he sits on your lap. "Get yo ass off of me" you struggle to say. "Hmmmmm no" he mocks. The people are saying our positions should be switched". Itadori says while laying on you, getting relaxed. "Get off" "if I get off you gotta get in my lap" "absolutely not" you say. "Alrighty then" he says while relaxing on you even more. "Ok ok damn nigga I can't breathe" you say annoyed. Itadori smiles as he gets up and looks at you. "Yo ass stink" you say as you get up and stretch. "That's not true y'all, she was just begging to eat my ass before the Livestream started". "The fuck?! No I didn't stop lying". You bent over a little bit to see some of the comments, which were filled with "get in his lap" and "sit on his lap". You tried to act like you couldn't see the comments until you heard Yuji behind you. "C'mon L/N we gotta keep the fans satisfied" he says while sitting down, manspreading in his chair. You roll of eyes and sit down stiffly on his lap. "Let's make this quick" you say while laughing, which made him chuckle. "Oh by the way I have a question before we end the lifestream" you say. "Yes?" "Did you make a bet with me without my knowledge?" You asked while. Turning you head to look at him. "Oh yeah I said that if we end up together you owe me $20" he says truthfully. "Well let's shake hands on it" you say as you put your hand out. "We got ourselves a deal L/N".

Hours after the Livestream was over you did your nightly routine and went to your bedroom. Yuji went to his hotel a couple hours after the stream. You're laying in bed scrolling through your phone when you seen a notification. It was a text message from Itadori, a TikTok video. You click on the notification which took you to the message, then you clicked on the link which took you to TikTok. You look at the video which started off with a dark screen. The screen flashes and you finally see why he sent you the video. It was an edit of you in his lap and you talking to him from the stream. You look wide eyed as you watched the video again. It was already edits being made! Part of you understood why, especially considering the tension that was made between you two. But the other part of you just couldn't believe how fast it was before anything came out. You thought it would've been at least a day before anything happened. You snapped out of your thoughts when you received another notification. You heart beats even faster as you read the notification. 'That's definitely going into my favorites. If stuff like this happened today imagine how it's gonna be tomorrow. Goodnight L/N~'.

I hope y'all enjoyed part two of the Gamer!Yuji Itadori, I literally started it once I seen the answers from the polls. I'll work on part three as soon as I can especially because I want to be consistent with this series. If you missed part one it's right here and stay in tune. Bye~

#jjk fluff #jjk smut #jjk x poc!reader #jjk x reader #jjk #jjk yuuji #jjk yuji #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you

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bloogers-boogers · 1 year

Text

Kyle Brofloski/ Eric Cartman (SP FIC) part 2

/playful project/

Garrison assigns Cartman and Kyle to become class partners for a 'inclusive project' by PC principal.

Slight warning ⚠️ this is Cartman and Kyle you could either expect the worse or the best from them. Okay, with that said, Chao chao:3

I also want to thank for the support I've received for the first chapter, and thank @myst1calx for your words it really cheer me up when I read you, I also have considered publishing in ao3 but I'm still stubborn on not making an account cause I'm too lazy, but maybe eventually who knows? But still, thank you c:°▪︎°♡°▪︎°

~~~~~~

Kyle walked in the hallways being greeted by girls and some other classmates as they commented his appearance, again remarking he looked particularly 'good' that day. Pretty much the same thing pointed out by his friends and family, to be entirely honest he felt the same as always and honestly his appearance looked pretty bad in his opinion, as for days prior he's been healing bruises and scratches from his previously fight from yesterday and a couple of more from the days that started his 'venture' with the fatass and Douglas boy.

Besides that, he feels exactly the same, either they felt pity for his bruised face or they're just bullshittin him for a laugh. Both options could be plausible.

He opened up his locker in search for the books he'll need for the day, packing them inside his backpack before continuing walking to class. He waved hello to some of his friends as he entered the classroom sitting in his desk.

The bell rang declaring it was now time to begin class, he sighed frustrated as he felt sticky rolled paper balls against his neck.

"Goddammit, Cartman! Quit it!," he exclaimed, before turning his way an earning a offended scowl from the other.

He looked to his left and found out it was Bebe being the one who had spit on him, he arched a brow confused, offended.

She gesture with her head towards Stan, with apologetic eyes, "whoops, that was for Stan."

"Me!?," Stan snapped offended, taken off guard by the comment and possible action towards his person.

"Okay, class, settle down now," Mr Garrison greeted as he entered his class, standing in front of the board, "I said to settle down now!," he asserted more loudly seeing how no one payed him attention.

Now with everyone kept quiet he continued, "today will be initiated a parental project," he wrote in the board 'partner a/ partner b' before continuing, "yes, Clyde?," he aked disinterested, seeing how Clyde had raised his hand.

"So that means are parents are getting involved somehow?."

"Fuck no, the last thing that this school needs is to also deal with the idiotic embodiments that we're willingly capable of conceiving you guys!," he cleared his throat, "now, the project would consist in you guys having to parent a baby, you and you're assigned partner will be given a doll specialized for the task, you write your shit down in a powerpoint essay and print it out, being neatly order in the respective day of what ever you did with the baby and how you managed to deal with the doll," he continued blabbering, as he leaned on his desk.

"Like the egg project?," Stan asked.

"Yes, Stan, just like the egg project but with some added adjustments," Garrison roll his eyes, as he took out a clipboard and placed a box full of dolls in his desk, "you see, children, PC principal wants this project to be as inclusive as it could possibly be, AND expects it to go well.

So you assholes better do a good job or you'll ALL will sink with me, you know how PC principal gets," he pointed out threatening.

"Yes, Bebe?."

"Can we pick are own partner?."

"No." He flip through some papers, "I already have it all assigned."

Everyone groaned annoyed. Not only did they have to deal with that stupid project again but they also have to deal with a partner Mr Garrison (probably to spite us) picked.

"Okay, we're gonna start with the trans couple," he took out a blonde white baby, "Annie and Kenny, you're now trans, congrats," he tossed the first baby carelessly to Kenny; who just looked at him weirdly.

"What!? But I'm not trans!," he heard Annie shout from behind them.

"It's just for the project, stop complaining and keep that mouth shut," he grunted annoyed, "lesbian couple one, Heidi and Nichole," he tossed a brown baby with black hair towards them, "lesbian couple number two, Red and Nancy," he threw them a very pale baby with a label that said 'diabetic' and specified instructions.

He scribble down his paper, as he picked up a brown baby with blonde hair, "Craig and Wendy you'd be the interracial couple," he tossed the baby to Craig.

"Tweek and Clyde, you're homos," he tossed a red head baby aggressively to Clyde hitting him in the face, "Eric, Kyle you're the second homos," he tossed a black, browned curly haired baby towards the red head.

"What!? My kid's black!?," Cartman screeched out loud; making Kyle shuddered infront by the agonizing noise. In disbelief as if that was his only concern.

"Sit down Eric, you two are the typical white gay couple that thinks they're ahead of time by adopting an African kid," he rolled his eyes, as he continued naming the couples in his list.

'My god,' Kyle heard Cartman say as he sat back in his chair defeated.

"Serves you right for being a complete racist piece of shit," he commented as he turned to look at him, "now your son is black." He gestured 'their' baby in a teasing manner.

Cartman frowned, "Shut up, Kyle! I don't even want to be married to you," he groaned angrily crossing his arms.

"Stan, Bebe, you two are a divorced co-parenting couple," he tossed them a white freckled, black haired baby, labeled 'paralyzed from it's legs' and other instructions, "Butters and Sofie; Butters you're the alcoholic father going to aa meetings trying to recover both yourself and the lost bond of your child,"

'oh geez' Butters commented nervously, rubbing together his knuckles.

"Sophie you'll be the unfaithful wife who's also secretly into women and currently in process of getting a divorce," 'Oh my!' Sophie exclaimed in shocked as she was then toss a black baby.

"Scott and Jenny, you two are a special case, you'll be raising your baby for a couple of days, then, you'll have to grieve the lost of your child by an accidental death, pin blaming one another becoming the grieving couple," he stated, swinging their white, brown curly haired baby before throwing it to Scott.

'My. God,' Scott commented baffled, as he hugged dramatically his baby.

"Timmy, Lola. Normal straight boring couple," he tossed them a white, black haired baby.

"Jimmy you're a single parent, raising your son with a very low income job struggling barely to buy your kid some food," he tossed a black malnourished looking baby towards him.

'j-j-esus ch-hrist,' he blurted out looking at his now baby.

"Tolkien, you're also a single father, but struggling to raise your baby that has a severe illness, not because of the money but because you don't know how to handle it's condition" he tossed him an albino baby, with a label full of instructions. Before clasping his hands as he now finally sat down in his desk, "Okay, children that's about it, any questions?."

Everyone raised their hands abruptly, but was immediately interrupted by the bell ringing.

"Well, see ya later losers," he blurted out smugly, before leaving to the other classroom his assigned with for next period.

°°°°

He carried the baby carelessly in his arms, going to his locker, Cartman following behind cause they had no choice but to discuss what they'll do with the baby.

"I think Joshua is a nice name," he commented, now looking for a old eraser he swear had.

He truly didn't care about the naming, but they had to discuss it for the upcoming essay they'll have to write.

"That's stupid and basic, Kahal," Cartman complain arrogantly, as he huffed crossing his arms enthusiastically indifferent of the suggestion, "if my son is gonna be black might aswell have a cool name."

"Okay, what better name do you have in mind, fat boy?," he asked annoyed as he slammed his locker, while gripping the half done eraser in his hand.

"Moisha," he responded eagerly, smiling lightly as he looked at the ground, internally contemplating his answer.

Kyle arched a brow skeptical, "Moisha?," he repeated not even fazed.

"It's a cool name, you asshole!," he defensively responded, huffing again, embarrassed.

He rolled his eyes, and saved himself discussing for probably over an hour about the name being jewish, definitely purposely intended to mock him indirectly. Fucking asshole.

"Okay, whatever," he shrugged as he looked around the other students walking by, and some of his classmates also discussing with their partner about their babies.

Before he could try gesturing Stan to come approach them, 'their' baby began to cry.

"Goddammit," Cartman groaned out, as they now both turned to look at the judgmental and teasingly stares from some of the students there.

"Here, try calming him down," he ordered, shoving the baby to Cartman, embarrassed trying not to be seen holding that thing.

"Aye! Why do I have to deal with it!," Cartman whined out, sounding more like a baby than the fake mimicking one.

"Just make it stop crying, fatass!," he whispered frustrated, as he kept glancing at some of his classmates.

Cartman huffed, as he reluctantly hold the baby in his arms unknowingly, struggling to actually make it look like a decent position for a baby. He rock it soothing as some mother would normally do to put to sleep their newborn.

Kyle had to take out some immense power in him to not laugh out loud. Wanting to crackled so badly, pinching his side to prevent himself by actually doing so.

"Nah, nah, nah—nah nah, nah nah nah— go to sleep baby, don't makemeforceyoutoactuallygotosleep, baby nah nah nah—," he singed in a very silent manner, as he discreetly looked to his side cautious if anyone was seeing him.

Kyle's humorous internal conflict immediately faded away, not expecting Cartman to actually try soothing that thing to sleep with a song.

And miraculously it worked.

Stan and Kenny approached them after, Kenny still with his baby in arms while Stan didn't.

"Joseph, these are your idiotic gay uncles," Kenny mimic an old man, as he gestured Cartman and Kyle to his fake baby with a smirk.

Stan snorted shortly, "damn, must be crazy for you guys having to end up together," he continued to add, mockingly, "have you guys decided it's name yet? Mine's name 'Rafael' I swear to God, Bebe has a poor taste in naming."

"Ours named Moisha," Kyle leaned against his locker, arms crossed, "courtesy of the fatass," gesturing with his head towards Cartman.

"It's a nice name, okay!?" He kept defending himself, in his whiney annoying voice.

"I've never thought it my life, I'd ever see you holding a black baby in your arms," Kenny mocked Cartman, wiping a fake tear from his eyes, "you make me proud, I can actually see the resemblance."

Cartman rolled his eyes, flipping him off with his free hand, "he's adopted, you stupid man whore." He tried 'correcting.'

"Careful with your wording, fatass, you don't want your kid to turn out like a fat psychotic racist entitled spoiled brat," the blonde snapped back, making both his friends laugh.

Later that day, during lunch time, it was damn obvious how PC principal managed to make everyone somehow get involved in the project making them take it just as seriously as he'd expect them to do. Which makes the whole thing nerve wrecking, their grades were on a line, so they have to deal with shit like this

"Hey, bigots, you like to take it up the ass so much? why don't get outta town first and take your ugly ass baby with you," some nineth grader mocked.

Kyle frowned, cause it was directly towards him, Cartman and their kid, before almost punching the dude in the mouth, Stan grabbed him by the shoulder moving him towards the cafeteria line.

"Dude, not worth it," he spoked, as he shake his head in disapproval.

Their baby began crying once more, and that added up to his anger.

"Shoo shoo shoo," cartman cradled into his arm, as he gently caressed his cheek; making the baby to whimper less and less, finally stopping.

"Dude, motherhood looks good on you" Kenny teased as he rested his chin in Cartman's shoulder before earning a glare from him.

"Kahal, give me his bottle," he ordered, as he extended his hand towards him expecting him to give him that same thing.

Kyle blink in confusion, "what bottle?."

He groaned out loud, rolling his eyes, not believing what he's hearing, "the baby's hungry, asshole, we need to feed it or he'll starve!."

"Oh," in all honesty Kyle had completely forgot about the baby's needs, but could you blame him? It's a fucking doll. But than again, his grades are at risk, so he has do deal with it.

And it's not like Garrison gave them any bottles, diapers and shit, trying to make it as real as possible, that, or he's just being a douchbag.

He contemplated a bit before being snapped by Cartman, "Dude, go get him a bottle of formula," he blurted out pissed.

Kyle frowned sharing the same sentiment, "why do I have to do it, fatass!?."

Cartman glared back not even bothering to comment anything, pretty much giving him a answer. Kyle sighed defeated, ceasing in, as he kept waiting in line.

"They're probably selling formula in the cafeteria, if this some cheap tactic for the school to earn some extra money," he shrugged, now hands in his pockets like some scolded husband.

Everyone nodded, as that was most likely to happen. And true enough, they were in fact a specific section that was labeled 'baby supplies', there was a pile of students picking up and purchasing up the stuff they needed, some kids from other classe stuck with the same project as them, others from their class, and ofcourse themselves.

Bebe headed towards Stan and pinched him in the arm, "the fuck, dude!?," Stan yelped in pain.

"Go buy the baby diapers and some baby formula," she ordered.

Stan huffed, "why do I have to buy it?," he asked still rubbing his arm.

"Because you're the man, and it's your duty to provide for us!," she yelled at him before joining her group of friends at their table.

Kyle and Kenny began laughing for his dismay, it was hilarious as Stan glared at them offended.

The red head turned to his side, and seemingly enough, Cartman was already listing the things they needed.

"Okay, Kahal, this is all we need for today," he said, as he extended his hand again.

"What?," he asked confused, looking at his chubby hand.

"Give me money!."

"Me!? Why the fuck do I have to give you money?!," he exclaimed, sharing the same tone in disbelief as his best friend had prior.

"Because I don't have jack shit!," he groaned out.

Now both his friends snorted behind them, earning a mocking smirk from his best friend.

Kyle grumble under his breath as he took out his wallet, "that's what you get for hooking up with a alleyway whore," Kenny teased as he protectively hold his baby shielding it, being nudged harshly by Cartman on to his side, earning some laughs.

Kyle glared at the blonde, giving the money to the lunch lady; who was already glaring suspiciously at them. He assumed she thought they'll steal their shit, even though the prices were a steal themselves, my god, everthing was expensive as shit.

A diaper (one single) for 10 bucks!?, he had to purchase three (30$), formula 23 bucks and one set of clothing for 35!?, Jesus christ. He did not bother to buy the clothing, saving himself 35 bucks, cause c'mon! That's all his damn lunch money for a week in one spending.

No lunch for him, if he wanted to save his thirty bucks he must act like he already has nothing on him, making Cartman scoffed as he noticed he didn't receive the clothing he had added to his list.

They sat on the table, Stan also seemingly had brought nothing for himself as he was also broke, Kenny had brought home made lunch so he didn't seem too fazed, while Cartman fed the baby but his tray was on his side.

"This sucks ass," Stan complained, resting his chin on both his hands.

"Tell me about it," he added.

PC principal entered the cafeteria in a extremely dramatic way, with a microphone in hand, standing in the middle of the crowd of students grabbing their attention.

"Okay, kids, as you may know. Some of the students here are now parents, I want you all to treat them with RESPECT, I want cero negative you hear that? I want this procedure to go as smoothly as possible. Which is why, the PC children will keep watch for any offensive behavior against the new couples, informing me for the misconduct.

Also for you, parents, if anything happens to your child, you'll be pressed charges and receive the punishment you ask for, like a realistic scenario. Ofcourse not exactly too realistic, but enough to cross a point to you of having to be a good responsible parent to your child," He threatened, "yes, that'll mean you'd be sent to jail for two weeks being monitored by official Barbready if you kill your infant, if you verbally abuse/ neglect your child you'll be sent to do community service for a week with added group therapy. And lastly be monitored with a ankle bracelet if you physically abuse your child or have addiction problems for two weeks, with added therapy.

Hopefully I got that out of our way, enjoy your lunch," he proceeded to leave out the cafeteria.

Every student their was in shock, some scared, others worried and the rest nervous.

He grunted annoyed, this will be the longest three weeks of his life.

And so it begins, Cartman tugged on his jacket aggressively.

"What!?," he spat, getting out of his grip.

"Give me your jacket," he ordered firmly.

"Excuse me? Fuck off, I'm not giving you my jacket, Cartman."

"Kyel, jesus christ, the baby needs to be wrapped with something," He pull out his phone, showing the following baby tracking status, "he's freezing, asshole, and being you, didn't buy him clothes leaving him butt fucking naked with just his diaper like the cheap mediocre bitch you are, might aswell give me your damn JACKET!," he huff out loud tired, like a whiney ass bitch.

Why is he acting like he has been caring for the kid for years!? It's not like he has done much besides feed him during the pass few hours. He's done more by paying for his needs than just cradling it in his arms and feeding him a bottle of formula HE bought. Technically he'd be screwed with out him.

He grunted before taking off his jacket unwillingly, tossing it back to Cartman, already tired of this bullshit fake marriage and stupid fake plastic doll. Kenny chuckled as he began rocking his baby to sleep, patting it gently.

The day went on, and it was literal hell, Cartman couldn't stop yapping here and there, about how the baby 'needed this' and the 'baby needed that' and so on, he couldn't stand it, he needed a fucking break from both Cartman and that kid.

The final bell rang, and he rushed outside the classroom wanting to run away from his responsibilities. But failed miserably, being stopped near the entrance of school, Cartman called him out before he had place foot outside.

"What do you want, fatass?," he stopped in tracks reluctantly.

"It's your turn to take the baby," he said casually, shoving the baby in his arms and passing some of the things he had bought for it.

He arched a brow, in disbelief, "are you serious right now?."

"Uh, yeah?," he said confused, gripping on to his backpack.

"You haven't done jack shit!, I'm tired, and I'm going home, fatass. I don't see why you're trying to pin all the responsibility on ME," he complained.

"excuse YOU, jew. But I've been changing his diapers, feeding him, keeping him warm and making him fall a sleep since second period! I fucking need a break!," he blurted out, hands extended in emphasis of his annoyance, "You think it's all sunshine and rainbows raising a child while you seat all day doing nothing but writing some notes and looking at some white board!."

"I was in class!," he defended in protest.

"Okay, now stay outta class and take him with you, see were it gets you, asswipe," he grumbled out spiteful, before walking out, leaving him standing there with a baby in arms.

"¡Goddammit!," he screamed frustrated, as he stomped his feet in place.

He got home, tossing his backpack agitated to his side, wanting to straight up go to his room. But again, was stopped. All the way over to get home people 'congratulated' him on his newborn, and his bravery to come out as a 'newlywed gay couple' with Cartman, it was the most ridiculous shit he's ever been put in. Some tossed him slurs and other bashed on their baby, which made him clenched his right fist, holding it together as the PC children passed by him checking he wasn't being a bad father and 'exposing' his child to a bad environment. Like it's not fucking South Park they lived in.

He groaned out loud, "what?."

"Kyle, please take a seat," his father gesture the couch.

Both his parents stood infront of him as he sat down, he watched them cautiously wanting an explanation.

"Bubbie, we just want you to know, that we support you no matter what. And we promise you the struggle won't be too overwhelming for you and your partner," Kyle was left mouth wide open, were they really talking about the damn plastic baby and his fake relationship with Cartman!?, "PC principal has already informed us about the project." His mother explained calmly.

"Yes, and we don't care if our grandson is black," His dad reluctantly added, looking at the ceiling then looking at the ground, "even though, it would've been best if he were white atleast you boys could act out that the boy is actually related to one of you," his mom nudged him with a glare.

"As long as he's jewish we don't care, Kyle," she beamed reassuring, as she went to the kitchen, coming out with a box and placing it next to him.

"What's all that?," he asked, still processing the whole surreal conversation.

"It's all the stuff you'll be needing for you son," she said, in a more firmly tone, "you see, Kyle, being a parent is more than just opening your legs and leading a man inside you," she continued, leaving Kyle speechless.

"Yes, Kyle, your mother is right. Though, it's clear as day you're the dominant one in the relationship," his dad then added, trying to assert more pressure on him for being 'the man' in the relationship, "it also about responsibility, raising a child is more then just buying the things it needs and feeding it."

"Exactly, love is also an important factor for a beautiful blossoming relationship with your son, also assuring he'll be raised a right man," now his mother spoke, "he is a.. boy, right?," she winced, tilting her head a she looked attentively to the baby he held.

He nodded reluctantly, still not saying a single word.

"Wonderful!," she beamed excited, as both his parents clapped their hands in victory before rushing out the door.

"You heard that, Donovan! My first grandkid is a boy!," he heard his dad smugly comment in a scream. 'Fuck you!' He heard from afar Mr. Donovan snap back.

°°°°

He grunted, as he confusingly looked at the big instruction manual he held in hand. His father insisted he had to fix up the crib for the baby to sleep in.

"Daaaad!," he groaned out loud, now hearing steps coming from down stairs.

His dad leaned against the frame of his door, with the, now, fully clothed baby in his arms; being dressed up with a green small vest and black pants, probably his mother put on him, while with a dolphin cap, probably his dad added. As he had a glass of wine in his free hand, being left with 'babysitting duty' as a responsible grandfather while he, Kyle, had to handle this shit.

"How the hell do I fix this!? I just can't figure it out," he pleaded in help. He's been in his room for two hours trying to piece things together, but it doesn't budge.

"Well, Kyle, part of being a man and the provider of the household is about figuring out things on your own for the sake of your spouse and children, not for yourself, never for yourself," he chuckled in disapproval of his progress, as he sipped on his wine. Before walking off, "C'mon, little Moisha, grandad is gonna show you the beauty of internet trolling i-i mean, scrolling the web!," he blurted out almost nervously, leaving him behind with all this mess.

He grumbled, as he forcefully tried gluing two pieces together that clearly didn't belong to one of another.

On the other side, Cartman also found himself struggling with his bitch of a mother now nagging about parenthood, as the responsibility he now held.

"You see, poopsikins, if you want to have everything held to you by your husband, you must be ready to provide him everything he needs. Like keeping him full all the time with amazing cooking, pamper him with affection and seductive comments, pretty much luring him with your pretty face and sexy body, love.

Men are difficult to keep around, because they easily get bored with the same thing, so you really have to make sure your man sticks and not try running off with some mistress and leaving you behind having to raise alone your kid," she took out some pans and pots.

"You sound like you're talking about yourself, ma." He commented worrisome.

"Ofcourse not, I was the mistress," she shamelessly added, "now let's start from the beginning."

She continued explaining about certain exquisite dishes, then showing him some manipulative 'harmless' moves he could use on Kyle to do things for him; even though he doubted that'll work on Kyle, he still kept listening, entertained by the whole madness of the situation.

Then they were the seduction strategies, and the boring chores he'd have to do to keep 'his' husband content and keep the little brat alive.

He sighed exhausted as he sat in his couch, his back hurt for no reason as he felt a bad headache.

She came in the living room, opening a bottle of champagne and setting two glases in the dinner table, "I knew some day you'll turned into a housewife like me, didn't think it'd be this soon or even married but—," she poured in some champagne on a glass, passing it to him, "but I'll make sure, sweetie, you DO have your happy ending," she promised assertive, as she now drink from her glass.

She held her glass high expectantly for he to 'clank' it together with his, he reluctantly did, also sipping silently the bubbling beverage; processing his mother's words.

Kyle layyed down his bed with a loud 'thump', exhausted but finally had fix the crib together, he heavily breathe out victorious. Closing his eyes shut, finally feeling his body relax against the comfort of his mattress.

"And what do you think you're doing?."

He snapped back up, now looking at his mother in the door frame, hands placed in her hip in a assertive way.

"I.. was resting? I just finished up fixing the crib," he explained.

"You think that's an excuse to leave both your father and I do YOUR responsibility?."

"Huh?."

"Poor, little Moisha has been missing his father all day, we said that we'd be okay caring for your son, Kyle, but you shouldn't take advantage of our generosity."

"It's been like three hour, ma?."

"¡Those three hours will become days, then years! Moisha would eventually feel your absence," she spat out, before slamming the door shut out of habit, "and you better make sure his crib is place right next to you, and don't forget about his nursery, Kyle!."

"¡Goddammit!," he cursed out, throwing his pillow to the wall unintentionally hitting the crib, now breaking it down once more.

After hours of fixing the baby's nursery, crib and shelf, it was already time to go to bed. He placed the baby in his crib, as he now layyed down on his own bed. Closing his eyes shut, with a small smile creeping in his face, not a minute in before the baby began whining out, as it sobbed, fading away the little joy he had felt that evening.

He stretch his arm out, rocking the crib tirelessly, but the baby kept crying out.

'Shut that damn baby!' He heard Ike scream out from his room.

He groaned, as he forcefully got out of bed, gripping hard the edges of the crib. Holding himself together, not wanting to strangle the fucking doll.

He glared at it, before reluctantly holding it in his arms, avoided shaking it cause it could activate 'shake baby syndrome', and that's some fuck up shit he isn't planning to get involved with.

He nested it in his arms as he sat down on his bed, eyes shut as he soothe both the baby and his uncontrollable anger. As he heard the baby silently lower his cries being now put asleep, he leaned against the headboard as he felt himself knock out.

The next morning, he yawned tirelessly as he didn't get all the sleep he needed, he stretch out his arms, somehow feeling a small weight off his body.

Wait.

"The fuck?," he exclaimed worrisome, as he no longer had the baby with him, he put his jacket on and ran downstairs.

Entering the kitchen, he noticed Ike was feeding the baby while his mother hummed washing the dishes, and his dad read the newspaper.

"Uh.. morning?," he hesitantly greeted before sitting down.

Now relieved that he didn't unintentionally lose the baby while he was asleep.

"Morning, bubbie," she greeted warmly, "sorry for taking out Moisha, but I was worried sick cause I didn't hear him cry much at night. But then I entered your room, saw you were holding him even while you were sleeping I thought it was cute, so I took him from your arms and left you rest, sweetie."

"Uh.. that's okay," he awkwardly said, noticing he was not placed breakfast.

"If you're wondering where's your breakfast is," His dad caught his eye, "you have a spouse, where is he? He plans on you to care for your son AND also feed yourself?."

'Oh brother' he rolled his eyes annoyed, not even bothering to comment back, picking up the baby, getting his backpack and then dashing out.

'Couple these days' he heard his father nag before closing the door.

"Damn dude, parenthood doesn't look well on you," Stan commented, as they were at the lockers.

He was taking out some of his books and placing the ones he no longer needed back inside.

"Yeah, dude, it's fucked up. This thing literally has a tracker for EVERYTHING. I couldn't bash an eye last night," he may had exaggerated a bit, but he didn't care, in all honesty, it's not comfortable holding on to something while you sit your ass down as you sleep, and he can still feel cramps on his leg and has a sore back, "and my stupid parents nagging all day about what it's like to be a parent and shit like that."

"Wow, sounds hard. I'd comment something, but Bebe's been hogging all the parental hours for herself I haven't spend time at all with my son," he commented as he glance at the blonde who smugly showed off their baby to her friends.

"Don't you have visiting hours?," he then added, as he closed his locker.

"I do, but that bitch doesn't give them to me, I may sue her in court or something," He said, as he glared at her, "she's like really pissed over what happened with Wendy the other day," he added.

Oh yeah, he had forgotten Stan had accidentally ditched her in their tenth date of the week to go play videos games with the guys.

"Sucks," he commented back, looking at his phone for the stats.

"Is that the status of your baby?," Stan commented as he took his phone away, "cool, might aswell see what I'll get into ONCE BEBE STOPS BEING A BITCH about it and hands me our kid," he spat out bitterly, loudly enough for the blonde to hear, earning from a far a flipped finger at him 'fuck you, Marsh!.'

"Mornin' fellas," Butters gritted tirelessly, with a bottle in hand.

"Uh.. hey?," he greeted confused.

"Dude, why you got a empty bottle of alcohol in hand?," Stan asked exactly what Kyle was wondering.

He gripped on to Stan's shoulders fanatically, startling both of them, "please, don't tell Sophie! I- I I'm trying okay?," he whimpered dramatically, as Stan eyed him bewildered, "just.. I need time, it's hard when you've been so use to something, and then.. having to let go, for the sake of your son.. I can't.. I really can't lose my baby, but this is hard on me too, Stan!," he slammed him against the locker, before letting go. He turned to look at Kyle then at his baby.

"Raise that baby right, now that you can. He deserves a great father that doesn't waste his time drowning in alcohol," and with that, he left.

"Dude, what the fuck?," both of them commented bewildered.

"Hey gaywads," Cartman greeted, as he approached them from behind, Kenny walking next to him.

Cartman extended his hands, in attempt of holding Moisha, Kyle dismissively moved back, "what?," he asked skeptical.

"Dude, I want to hold Moisha, you've already kept him all day yesterday."

"Why all of the sudden do you want to hold on to Moisha, fatass? When yesterday you were so eager to drop him off."

Cartman rolled his eyes, unfazed by his skepticism, "I wasn't 'eager' but I did watched him the entire morning, jew," he stated dry, as he snatched Moisha outta his arms, "Besides, I don't trust jews taking care of my baby," he spat bitter, side eyeing him, dusting off fake 'dust' from Moisha's clothing.

Kyle groaned annoyed, before clenching his fist, "then you shouldn't have give him to me!."

"Then who'd be the neglectful parent be, hmm?."

Kyle gritted his teeth, wanting to punch him so damn fucking bad.

"Ofcourse, I suppose you forgot to bring a baby bag did you?," Cartman glanced him judgmental.

Kyle shut his eyes defeated, as he in fact did forget it, and his mother had lecture him about how important it was to carry one. Ofcourse his parents pretty much helped him out a big portion by getting him all the things he needed and giving some parental advice for the subject, but what was the point if he kept forgetting to use them?

Cartman huffed getting the answer he needed, "good thing my mom had this old bag in the basement from when I was a toddler," he took out a small bag from his backpack.

Kyle frowned, as that was not only just small but it was old and dirty.

"Before you say anything, Kyel, I washed it yesterday it's just stained like that," Cartman explained indifferent, not spitting out the details that his mother had forcefully made him wash his old baby clothes, bottle and binky, as 'practice.'

She also taught him about how to properly bathed a baby, just as to check it's fingers for any loose hair and also burp the baby, all that extra shit. What he did wonder was why she was insistent on teaching him about washing stains off from sheets, floor, underwear, clothing; he figured it could be because a baby can be messy and spill shit, but then again, it was a plastic fake baby. And how to lure a man on top of a running washing machine that was also one of her priorities for he to learn, that he did not grasp on why. He supposed that it was in the category on 'pleasing' your husband, but he just doesn't get why Kyle could be pleased by being on top of a washing machine.

Kyle huffed unpleased by his answer, his mother was right, men can really be difficult to please when it comes to not getting their way, goddamn. Cartman pouted, as he looked at Moisha 'you're cute for a black baby,' he thought before dashing to class leaving Kyle and the others behind.

"So where's your baby, Ken?," Stan eyed Kenny who kicked nothing but air in boredom.

"Annie's day," he explained with a shrug.

They all headed to class as the bell rang.

First and second period went oddly normal, too normal for Kyle to just shrug it off. Cartman has not once ask him for anything, he was starting to wonder if Cartman was already scheming something. He also had the baby with him, and in the morning he was all sparkles wanting to hold on to him, yeah, suspicious as fuck.

He tapped his fingers looking at the class clock, he discreetly glance at Cartman who was making weird faces to the baby as he heard the fake baby giggle in response. He forgot those things actually make other noises apart from whining, crying and shitting.

Cartman on the other side, was following his mom's advice, 'to make a man get you what you want, don't ask them make them guess by ignoring them and acting indifferent by their presence, but ofcourse dont make it obvious, act natural and don't make it seem like you're mad.

He'll eventually notice something's just off with you and will try to figure it out. It also keeps a man entertained with you,' he was skeptical at first, but he gave it a try and not long after his been getting a positive response, as he felt Kyle glancing at him throughout first and second period. She also had added, 'it'll work best if you refuse on giving your hooha if things just don't go your way,' but he didn't have a hooha so he didn't worry much about that.

The bell rang and both boys dashed off, Kyle actually wanting to chase after Cartman but lost him as they separated between the crowd of students.

Cartman being indifferent twoards him? Cartman running off not even sparring a single glance at him? just like he hasn't teased him in class or when he got out of class like he'd normally do?, yeah, suspicious for sure.

Kyle frowned annoyed, not being able to take Cartman off his mind, 'what is that fat fuck planning now?.'

"Is it me, or is Cartman acting weird?," he asked his friends. Now headed to the cafeteria as the fourth bell had rang.

"Maybe he's cheating on you already," Kenny teased, taking out his wallet then taking out a ten dollar bill, passing it to Annie as she passed by.

Kyle huffed, "Yeah, sure, he's lucky I'm even tied to him," he tried joking back, but it did not came out as well as he thought it would.

Kenny and Stan chuckled lightly before entering the cafeteria.

And sure enough, his eyes landed on to Cartman who was talking with some other dude from another class, who also seems to have assigned the same project as them. He frowned, 'who the fuck is this dude?, Cartman's been ignoring him all day, the FATHER of his child, but his chatting all happily with some random ass dad?.'

"Uff, I heard that dude was assigned as a single father that was divorced for being an homosexual, I'd be careful Kyle, that guy could be a flirt," Kenny warned teasingly before heading in line followed by Stan.

Kyle headed towards Cartman with no hesitation, he was not gonna be seen as a husband who got cheated on their second day of marriage.

"You know, you look ravishing when you smile like that," The boy pampered him with compliments, giving him googly eyes, unintentionally making Kyle's blood boiled.

"Excuse me, but he's already taken," he spat dryly gripping Cartman from his arm and dragging him away, earning a scowl from the boy.

He heard the boy scoffed behind him but he didn't care.

"So now you're a slut?," he complained as he let go of Cartman.

"Don't call me a slut for having a decent conversation, Kahal!," Cartman spat annoyed, as he glared at him.

"Yeah, well being pampered for 'hAvIng a cUte sMile' isn't a decent conversation, fatass. Thats called 'making a move' which you were clearly leading him on," he pointed out his bullshit.

"Maybe I like being pampered, Kahaaal? When was the last time you ever pampered me huh?," he complained, as he placed his free hand on his hip, "ever since we got our child, you've changed, you barely even look at me the way you use to, now, it feels so robotic. The passion, the flame, I can't feel it anymore. You haven't even snapped at me for being a 'racist piece of shit'."

"Oh please! You're the one who's been ignoring me!."

"Well who's that to blame, huh? I'm a human being with needs, Kahal! I need to be provoked and contradicted or I won't feel wanted!."

Kyle groaned annoyed as he crossed his arms, giving him an eye roll.

"See? That's all you do nowadays! Groan and backaway like the pussy you are, not caring about what I feel!."

On the other side of the cafeteria, both Stan and Kenny waited for their turn to pick up their tray.

"You think Kyle and Cartman are doing okay?," Stan asked concerned.

"Yeah, they'll be fine couple problems," Kenny shrugged, before placing a hand on his shoulder, "look, I know you're upset cause you haven't gotten a chance to spend time with your son, but trust me buddy it'll be okay," he reassured soothing.

Stan sighed, "you're right, I'll just try to figure out another way to force Bebe to lend me my rights on Rafael."

"Hey dudes," Tolkien greeted as he stood behind them.

"Dude, you look bummed, what's the matter?," Stan asked.

"I had to leave Tonny at the hospital again, his sick and I'm really starting to feel tired and stressed about the whole thing," he broke down infront of them in ugly sobs, "and I just- i-.. it's too much pressure on me, I think I want to place him for adoption," he admitted ashamed.

"C'mon dude, don't place your kid for adoption," Stan commented pitiful, maybe even envious and spiteful that Tolkien being atleast able to spend time with his son consider bailing on him.

It wasn't fair, there was parents out there who wanted nothing to do with their kids wanting to drop them off in a orphanage, while there he was, desperately trying to get ahold of his.

An unfair, cold sad world it was.

"I'm still gonna have it in consideration," He said nonchalant before leaving.

Now with him gone, they bashed on him behind his back, "what and asshole," Stan spoke.

"I know right?," Kenny agreed.

"Like, why have a kid if you're gonna just drop him off?."

"Totally," Kenny nodded, as they both looked his way like judgmental mothers.

"We should definitely stop hanging out with him, atleast until the project is over."

"Agreed."

They head to a table, and sat with a grumpy Kyle, who rested his chin in his hands not looking at them.

"So what happened?," Stan asked as he sat down, with a very sad looking tray; that had only a apple and fries. He was sucked out broke from Bebe that morning.

"Fatass wants a divorce, I told him it wasn't possible cause we were assigned to be a married couple not a divorced one and he dashed off with the baby," he grumbled out, as he tapped his finger against the table.

"Damn, filing for divorce on your second day of marriage?," Kenny asked, as he shake his head in disapproval, "you should try to win him back."

Kyle looked up, "and how'd I do that?."

"It's fatass, it can't be that hard to please," Stan commented unfazed, as he ate some fries.

"Maybe buy him a gift or some flowers?, chicks like that sorta shit," Kenny suggested as he bit his chicken sandwich.

Kyle arched a brow, "but he isn't a chick though."

"He kinda acts like one," Stan starkly remarks.

They all laugh by that, as it was indeed true, atleast Kyle believed it was. Cartman's had been acting like a complete bitch this entire time, it was starting to get him.

Not that he doesn't get under his skin all the damn time but damn, this time he's really feeling it. But he really doubted a gift or some flowers would make him win Cartman back.

He must recall the ways things were before Moisha came in the picture, it was all punches, schemes and shitty arguments between the two.

Maybe he should punch Cartman for old memories sake? He hasn't been able to do that since the PC children have been vigilantly walking the hallways.

He sighed as he rested his head on his arms covering his face.

Panic surge in his body, as Cartman had not entered sixth and seventh period. He was worried for the baby, what if something happens to it and his grade will flunk because the fat asshole couldn't keep his shit together.

The bell rang finalizing school hours, he grabbed his things and dashed out looking for Cartman and Moisha. He looked everywhere and couldn't spot them, 'what if Cartman had left school already?'

He cursed himself inside for not being careful enough, he already had a feeling Cartman had something planned on but not to this degree on putting the baby's sake at risk.

He halted, as he spot in some bench inside the gym a familiar red jacket.

He jolted as he jogged inside, sending daggers at Cartman who didn't bother looking his way.

"Why did you skipped class, fatass?," he asked, as he tried snatching Moisha away, "an why are you here?."

"First, I didn't want to see you, Kahal. Second, one of the perks of having a black son means he could be a future basketball star," he gesture the boys that now entered the gymnasium with basketball uniforms, "and ofcourse, my son will be raised to be famous, it's best to teach them at a young age."

"I think that's for our son to decide, fatass."

"Think about it, kahal, if you couldn't manage to be in the big leagues maybe this is a sign for you to pore your knowledge on to Moisha and see him triumph as the basketball star you always dreamt to be."

Kyle crossed his arms in thought, actually reconsidering the obvious manipulation tactic Cartman was using on him.

Moisha did have all the looks of becoming a star, maybe Cartman wasn't too far off.

Cartman smirked as he watched Kyle consider it, 'time to use tactic 3' he gestured Kyle to sit next to him. Kyle arched a brow confused as he reluctantly did exactly that. His mom was right, using the 'I'll break up with you' method really makes a man chase you.

He flattered his eyes innocently making Kyle look at him weird, he rested his head on his shoulders sighing lightly, "Maybe this is it, kahal.."

"What is?." Kyle questioned dumbfounded, oblivious of his manipulative flirtation. He was too focus on how close they were.

"To reconstruct our relationship," he placed his hand on to his, now looking up at him, "Maybe we can find the flame again," he 'boop' his nose, as he giggle like a high-school girl.

Kyle was baffled by the gesture and tone Cartman used, it was new, but he found himself actually liking it.

"Okay," he blurted out in seconds.

'Bingo,' Cartman thought, amazed that his mother's advice actually worked so well on Kyle.

They sat there for an entire hour, watching the boys play as Kyle would sometimes bring up some strategies to Moisha, actually expecting the baby to listen.

°°°°

Day three

Kyle was wakened up by distraught parents, who found themselves in distress cause they haven't been able to see their grandson for an entire day, as it was Cartman's turned to take Moisha home yesterday.

He doesn't get them sometimes, the other day they were complaining about him leaving his kid for hours with them and now they wanted him back?

"Guys, calm down, didn't you guys wanted a break from Moisha?,"

"No, Kyle, we wanted a break from your irresponsibility never from our grandson," his dad spat in an arrogant tone, sipping his coffee with very displeasure.

"It's true, and even if we did, children don't actually listen to their parents when they refuse to babysit their grandkids; you normally act like you understand then later on manipulate us with emotional manipulation using are grandson to get us to babysit him." His mother explained, now dropping her fork in the salad she was eating.

"Exactly," his dad added, as he groaned annoyed, rolling his eyes disappointed, "Dammit, and I told Randy I'll take my grandkid to the grandparents/grandchildren rally this evening, goddammit Kyle! Thanks for nothing!," his dad jolted up angry, now leaving the kitchen.

His mother also followed behind not before she scowled him with a 'you should know better, Kyle.'

Kyle rested his hand on to his chest, as he groaned heavily.

At class things seemed to go normal, except for Butters; who was called by Mr. Mackay claiming he needed to talk with him, and Butters cursing himself under his breath with a 'crap, he caught me' before storming off the classroom, Sofie glaring at him from her seat with a loud 'huff,' with an added '¡Shut up you stupid whore! I saw you messing around with Nichole the other day!' As he slammed the door, the couple of girls gasped. He was a wrecked of a drunk, he only assumed that's why Mr. Mackay call him in today. That boy needs some serious help.

He and Cartman on the other side talked things out and agreed on trying to make it work again, so he forces himself to snap back at him with any annoying comment he'd say in class, even though he felt too tired to keep it up. But he promised himself he'll win that flame back, even if he had already got tired of it before first period ended.

Maybe Cartman's was right? As hard for it was to admit it, the flame wasn't there, he was too exhausted to keep up with Cartman's shit anymore he can't even recall when was the last time he enjoyed fucking up the fatass schemes or arguing back when he was wrong, or teasing him for being a bigoted fat racist asshole.

He sighed, things weren't this complicated before Moisha arrived.

A week in and the school was absolute chaos.

"So how's things with Bebe?," he commented as he eyed Clyde and Tweek arguing in the hallway of who's fault was it to leave 'Evy' (their daughter) in the window.

And at the end of the hall way Craig and Wendy were protesting for equality, being against racism and shit like that, their baby hanged in a bouncy pouch they had added there to keep him busy.

"Well I finally spoke to PC principal the other day and he forced Bebe to give me my rights on Rafael," Stan answered dodging a couple who fought for who'd go to their child's school play they seemed like a divorced couple.

"Oh, that's great dude," he commented genuinely excited for his best friend.

"Yeah, but.."

"But what?," he arched a brow in confusion, before turning to look at Jimmy who was in floor sobbing with flyers that said '5 bucks for an hour of fun.'

"Well I got my rights, but ever since, I take him home and my parents just bash in and take him away from me. Well my dad mostly, teaching him about the weed industry and all about the farm." He pinched his nose annoyed, "fuck, the other day he called my dad 'dada' and you know what my dad did? He dance victorious while I sat there defeated!."

"Damn, dude, he already said his first word?," Kyle commented in disbelief, "and your dad outta all people."

"I know! It's fucking unbelievable," he spat angrily, as they denied a cupcakes from a hardworking couple who wanted to sustain there baby by creating a baking business together.

Kyle looked at his left and saw Heidi and Nichole yanking their hair off Heidi cussing her out calling her a 'no good whore' while Nichole defended herself while blaming Heidi for her own shit 'you're a bitch! What did you expect!?.'

He then looked at his right where Scott and Jenny were being comforted by the PC children, bawling out about their grief and then blaming each other for who did it, 'if it weren't for you, bitch, he would've still be here,' 'you were the one who left him outside!' She defended before getting into a physical fight as the PC children tried to restrained them from provoking further damage.

He walked pass them leaving Stan behind who'd had stopped to talk with Butters, he was headed to class but immediately stopped his tracks as he saw Cartman being all flirtatious with that same dude that was pampering him not long ago. He had his arm rested in his shoulders as Cartman twirled a strain of his hair as he holds on to Moisha.

That slut.

He stomped twoards them and shove that asshole away from Cartman.

"Excuse me!?," he exclaimed now looking at the fatass.

"Oh, hey Kyle.." he murmured avoiding his glare with indifference.

"Oh? So now I'm just 'KYLE'," he barked back.

The boy long gone not before he snorted smugly and winked at the fat fuck.

"That is your name isn't?," he responded bored, unfazed by his anger, looking at his fingertips.

He slammed Cartman against some lockers making Moisha cry from the harsh gesture.

"Owe, Kyle, the fuck!?," Cartman screeched, as he held protectively over Moisha.

"You're pushing it, Cartman!," he screamed, now long caring for his grade and the stupid act they were doing.

He would rather be sent to jail than to ever see Cartman snuggled against some dude's arms.

"You weren't doing anything what did you expect me to do? Wait for you until you finally decide you want to take me over!?,' he blurted out, red puffed cheeks in anger.

"I THOUGHT we were already in good terms!."

"You thought wrong!," he screeched out loud before letting loose from his grip, "I'm an independent man, Kyle, I can raise our son all alone. I don't need you, when was the last time you payed for Moisha's food hmm?."

"Yesterday morning!."

Cartman huffed, "Bradley said he could do that for a daily," he soothe Moisha down.

"I thought you were a 'independent' man, fatass!?," he pointed out his bullshit once more.

"Yes, I am, which is why I can pick and choose between being one; to get you away and also becoming a house husband if I want it the easy way, making men fall down to my feet and give me money," Cartman smirked smugly making Kyle's anger finally getting to its limit.

Kyle slowly stood infront of Cartman, gently taking out Moisha from his arms and placing him to the ground, before punching Cartman to his face making him fall. He jumped on top of him giving the second punch now starting a fight between the two as they roll over each other one trying to dodge bullets and the other being the one to shoot them.

Cartman slapped him but Kyle punched back even harder, both stumbled as they stood up. Kyle slammed Cartman against the wall now being able to do it more harshly.

"T-that's more like it," he heard Cartman pant out, as their breathing became irregularly irritable.

Kyle gripped on to his collar brushing their nose together, now feeling Cartman's breath against him unintentionally licking his lips by the immense tension between them.

Cartman phone buzzed as he took it out from his pocket still not letting his gaze away from Kyle, then glancing at it.

'Baby stutus: kidnapped'

They both snapped turning to the spot were they had left Moisha, and jesus christ, fuck.

They looked everywhere, running fanatically around the school, also trying to avoid being seen from PC principal and the PC children.

"This is your fault," Cartman panted tirelessly, as he scowled him.

"I- I swear, if I get an F, fatass, I'll kill you," Kyle threatened as he tried recovering his breathing.

"Eric Cartman, Kyle Brofloski," they heard the PC principal called them out, as the were in the the playground.

"Fuck," Cartman grunted.

°°°°

"You must be wondering why a call you in to my office," PC principal said sternly, as he had his arm's crossed.

"We're, so—rry PC principal we didn't mean it," Both said in a rehearsed tone, looking elsewhere avoiding the man's stare.

"For what?," he asked, snapping their attention, "I'm here to congratulate you for the splendid work you've done," he continued speaking, getting up from his seat and grabbing the control remote; turning on the tv.

"No. Way," Kyle murmured in disbelief.

"As you can see, Moisha grew up to be a talented basketball star, one of the most popular players in the big leagues. He was taken away from one of the founders there as he had recognized Moisha's talent in the game."

A montage played in background, showing a old wrinkling man watching Moisha from afar when he was just practicing with Kyle; as he passed him a ball hitting him in the head knocking the baby down, and Cartman cheering from a far in one of the benches, then Moisha being kidnapped by the same man, then later being put in the group of players, then chosen and finally playing in the big leagues."

"My baby's a star!," Cartman whined out in a 'awe,' hand on his cheeks, baffled by the revelation.

Seeing a baby on the screen playing among other players, with a basketball in hand. The screen read 'Moisha Brofloski-Cartman, player 9 (one week old)'

"It's astonishing the capability of you two, but he's now moved on to become big, which grants you two an early ending for you project and earning yourself a A, congrats," He beamed proud before shoving them outside.

"Holy crap," Kyle finally blurted out.

"I know!?," Cartman said excitedly, "we should try contacting him an see if he gives us some money."

"Cartman!," Kyle screeched angrily as they both now walked to class.

Kyle got home, smiling proudly as he got an A, extra spare time and his kid's a famous basketball player. He beamed walking up stairs and tossing his backpack to the bed.

He heard some crying down stairs, probably his parents being all emotional by Moisha moving out. He rolled his eyes as he took out his phone texting his friends.

'Dudes, wanna hang out today?'

'Sorry, dude, I'm trying to prevent my dad from taking Rafael to a death weed battle'

'Whats a death weed battle?'

'It consists on a group of men shoving weed up their nose and shoving a anchor up their ass'

'Oh'

'I think I saw my dad do that shit once'

'God'

'Ik ik. Hey, Kyle, is it me, or did I see your baby playing in the big leagues this evening on tv?'

'Oh yeah, he's famous now'

'Oh shit, cool'

'So no one's available tonight?'

'Srry, man'

'I have work duty, I need to maintain my family and now kid, see yah later'

'Me too, I have to go, ttl'

'I'm available, jew'

Kyle sat on his desk chair, contemplating on actually inviting Cartman over.

Why not? It's not like either had anything better to do, besides everyone was still with the on going project in hand. Though, he must admit, he's actually starting to miss that piece of plastic.

'Did you know our kid ditched us?' Cartman continued texting back.

'I called him, and he told me to fuck off, that he's all big and stuff, and didn't want to feel bothered by us 'gaywad losers', then he had the audacity to ask if I could help him change his diaper in LA'

'Sounds like a Cartman' Kenny chimed in quickly, now logging off.

'Did you go get him changed?'

'Ofcourse I did, he's my baby. Those from the league dont care for him at all, he had his little bum with a big red rash.'

'How the hell are you available then, if you're in LA?'

'I'm about to get on my flight, It'll probably take like four hours before I arrive, maybe like at eleven I'd be there?, just wait for me.'

'K'

In all honestly, he's not surprised their kid ditched them, after all, he did had for a father Eric Cartman. But he kinda feels betrayed, cause he did everything he can to raise that motherfucker, oh well.

This must be what parenting feels like, raising your kids, sacrificing you youth probably even risking your marriage, taking your happiness away then being toss to the side once they grow older and become dependable enough to move out and start their own life, eventually shoving them to a retirement home as they grown older and wrinkled, practically being a burden to them.

He tossed himself in his bed, aiming for a quick nap.

Later that day, Cartman actually showed up at his door, they watched movies eating snacks while bashing on their son like a bitter couple. As they laughed and banter, it was a nice night.

°°°°

Week two

They were standing in the bus stop, Stan finally had a hold on Rafael having blackmailed his dad on exposing something to his mom, he didn't exactly explained them what it was cause he seemingly looked embarrassed himself, but they didn't further question it.

Kenny also had his baby in arms, though, he looked tired as fuck, excessively working for a living. Causing him problems with Annie for being a 'workaholic.'

And both Kyle and Cartman just chilling there with no worries of the world, besides the common bickering between the two.

A limousine stopped infront of them, seemingly not caring they watched as some men tossed Moisha out of the vehicle 'and you better not try on getting in the leagues again' they threatened, before leaving.

The boys still in place looked at the baby simultaneously, unfazed by the whole ordeal.

The now walking baby, slumped in shamed in front of his 'uncles' and 'dads.'

"I'm sorry—," he apologized with his face looking at the ground, "you guys were right, fame and money really gets you in the head and makes you forget of what's really important...," he continued blabbering his apology.

"Hmhm," Cartman said, arms crossed, with airs of superiority. Knowing well the built up apology was made before hand and not really meant from the heart, trust him, he knows when to tell if it's fake.

Kyle share the same gesture but looked at Cartman, sharing the same sentiment 'his words are full of bullshit' before reluctantly accepting his apology.

Both boys had developed a new sense of skepticism when it came to their son, they don't know how it developed but they didn't question it either.

"Awe I love you guys!," he beamed happily as he hugged them by the legs, both boys still unfazed.

Another car stopped infront of them, a successfully looking man looked out from the car window taking off his glasses, "you're Moisha Brofloski?," he asked the boy, earning a nod from him.

'Cartman' Cartman added, bitterly.

"Great, what're your thoughts on joining the Denvers basketball team? I assure you, you'll be rewarded with cash and fame."

The baby's face lit up, shoving his parents aside and running inside the car, "see ya motherfuckers! I'm off to be someone worth millions, screw you guys!," he exclaimed, flipping them off before pulling up the window as the car left their sight.

"Your kid's an asshole," Stan commented unfazed.

Week three, a day before (deadline)

Cartman scribbled in his notebook, not paying attention in class. Things had mellow out by now when it came to the project, some parents had managed to go through it, still with a decent looking baby. Others failed miserably some in jail, others walked in shame with a ankle bracelet, while there were parents who recently recovered from addiction; Butters was one in the crowd, beaming happily with his son in his arms, eagerly ready to be graded.

The chaotic ordeal from last week was now long gone, the actual parents in the town now focused on other more entertaining things no longer caring for their so called 'grandkids', fucking up something else. Everything just began going back to it's normal pace.

He sighed exhausted, he hasn't been feeling himself lately, kinda out of character. He felt his friends acting that way aswell, Kyle definitely stood out from the crowd. And he had feeling Kyle felt the same way.

He looked behind him feeling Kyle glance at him knowingly, then looking away. He scratched the back of his neck, annoyingly sighing once more.

The classroom door open abruptly as the chief and two policemen walked behind them.

"Those two right there, comrades," The chief gesture the two boys, "Kyle Brofloski and Eric Cartman, you're under arrest for negligence and second-degree murder, take them away boys."

"W-what?," Kyle asked bewildered, as he was handcuffed and shoved outside.

"The fuck!?," Cartman screeched loudly before being tased, cuffed and then dragged out.

Their classmates and teacher didn't even bat an eye besides his friends that watched worrisome.

"Goddammit, Cartman. This is all your fault," Kyle pointed a finger accusing, now sitting inside the police car.

"My fault!? How is this my fault? If I don't even know why we're cuffed!," he defended his innocence.

The police men dragged them to a cell, shoving them inside with some other prisoners, unintentionally putting them inside with some buff scaring looking men instead of the cell full of classmates their same age that was place literally next to them.

"What're you two in for," an asian man; buff with big arms that could squash a watermelon, a scar half spread in his mouth, asked.

Cartman acted it out, as if everthing was cool and chill not him pissing himself inside cause he knew his bitch of a mom will ground him by taking the little spending rights he had, "Oh you know, the typical, manslaughter and stuff.."

The men there blinked now avoiding their gazes at them, believing that crap not wanting to get involved.

Kyle roll his eyes annoyed by Cartman's stupidity, both now sitting in the cold cemented bench looking bed.

It's not like they haven't been in jail before, Kyle rested his cheek on his hand, bored. Time went on and they notice how some policemen dragged another couple of children to the cell next door, still not giving them the explanation they needed.

Eventually leading them to play rock paper scissors as they waited.

"Kyle!," he heard his dad speak from behind the cell.

"Dad!," Kyle eyes lighten, as both boys stood up walking towards the cell door.

"Eric!," Liane screamed behind Gerald, as she approached the pair behind bars.

"Mom!," Cartman beamed relieved, holding tight on some bars.

"Your mother and I were worried sick, PC principal called and told us what happened," the man explained now looking at the boys, who demanded an explanation.

"Dad, we really didn't do anything," Kyle spoke, eager to get out.

"I'm afraid it's gonna be hard to say this to you boys but.." Liane began crying as Gerald hold on to her shoulder for comfort.

"What?, what happened!?," Kyle asked, now more eager and desperate.

"You two got an F on your project, and you're grounded young man," Gerald firmly stated, now hands place on his hip scolding the redhead.

"WHAT," they both exclaimed.

Kyle angry as hell and Cartman, well he found it unfair but at the same time he wasn't too faze from it.

"That's not possible, PC principal told us we passed with an A," Kyle declared, gritted teeth, as he gripped harshly the bars and started shaking it pinning his unbearable anger on to it, "our kid is literal a basketball player what else did he expected us to do!?."

"Damn, Kahal, chill," Cartman placed his hand on his shoulder,

"Don't. TOUCH. Me," he spat venomous, still glaring at his father, cursing internally the principal for wasting his damn time.

Cartman slowly moved his hand away, looking at both the adults there in pleading help, cause he knew, if they were left alone Kyle will snap at him.

"Yeah, about that. They found Moisha in an alleyway, he was dead by overdosing with heroine."

"Jesus christ," Cartman blurt out.

"That's exactly why you're charged for negligence and second degree murder. And considering this all happened before the deadline you're grading flunked aswell."

"We didn't know he'd overdose with heroine, we thought he'd be living the dream life as some rich douche," Cartman explained.

"Yeah, but considering Moisha was a minor and a public figure, and you two, as his parents were irresponsible enough to leave your son go alone to who knows where, it's you're responsibility to take the charge," Gerald explained finalized.

"How long are we gonna be in here?," Kyle asked, now more calmed.

"Three weeks of juvenile prison, with the extra charges of negligence; two weeks of community service and force volunteering at the elderly hospital for a week."

Both boy's leaned their faces against the cell bars in disbelief and horror, "Jesus christ," They cursed out loud.

°°°°

Hour in and they were now moved in to a actual prison, luckily for them they were separated to a cell that was empty far from the actual prisoners cause, y'know, they were actually sent in because of some project not some actual crime. Well they did consider it with Eric, as he had a lot of crimes he was never charge for but they shrugged it off because they did not want to grasp on to that big file of paperwork they had to do.

It was pretty much meaningless as they still shared lunch break, patio hours, chore duties and visiting hour with them. But atleast they had the comfort of sleeping with out worrying some prisoner will cut their throat out.

"Homos," some prisoner call them out as they were passed to the lunch room, and the guy was pushed harshly from the guard.

They were targeted for being in there for no actual good reason but some dead doll, and because they were a so called 'couple' during the project for.

The red head sighed defeated, atleast he was grateful for not being put in the same building as Trent Boyett. Dragging himself twoards the table alongside Cartman.

"How long has it been?," Cartman asked with half lidded eyes, poking his tray with a plastic spoon.

"Three days," He responded nonchalant, as he also played with his food, far from hungry.

This was not exactly what they had warned them for, it was way worse. Barbready was probably just in town asking the other students who saved themselves from this type of punishment just by picking up some axes and chopping up some wood, tied up with a rope from their feet, singing along some stupid song as the cop carelessly drank beer.

They were literally in prison, among actual criminals.

Cartman was shoved by some big brunette dude.

"Owe!," he blurted out, rubbing his arm.

"Owe~ the poor fat baby is gonna cry cause the big scarwy bully gave him a wee wee?," he mocked taunting, as some other prisoners joined in with laughter.

"Aye!," Kyle threatened, letting his pin up anger loose, "you better quit it before I actually fuck the shit out of you," he warned.

The boy chuckled, "oweee? Upset that I hurt your butt buddy? Look how scared I am," the boy continued taunting.

Cartman eyes widen, bewildered, looking at the boy then at Kyle; knowingly.

Cartman wince as Kyle launched himself twoards the boy beating him up and starting a whole fight in the cafeteria, many prisoners joining in as they fought against each other. Cartman kept on eating as he glance at his redheaded friend beating the shit out some other two prisoners there, lashing all his anger out on them.

Considering it was an all out fight, they were all punished equally, two weeks with no visiting hours, goddammit Kyle.

Atleast the teasing and slurs lessen after that, seemingly everyone was scared of Kyle. Earning the nickname; 'red beast', Cartman unwillingly had to accept being called 'red's bitch'.

He knitted a lace bracelet as Kyle was sent to mop the bathroom floors, so he was practically alone in their cell.

"Hey red's bitch!."

He heard a prisoner call out, he stopped knitting his bracelet and looked from behind his cell.

It was a black haired dude with tanned skin.

"What." He spat angrily, not caring to offend anyone there, no one dared messing with him anymore.

"How long will it'll take for your call?."

"Why?," he asked suspiciously.

"Do me a favor and call my mom for me," He asked.

"And whats in it for me?," there were no so called 'favors' in prisons, that's what he had learned the first time he was sent to juvie.

"I'll give you two strings a red and green, they're new my mom just sent them not long ago. I need to know if my sisters are doing alright," He pleaded.

Cartman hesitated, "hmm.. alright, those strings do sound tempting. Alright give me the number, your name and the strings, and tomorrow I'll call her."

"Sweet," He heard the prisoner blurt out as he went further in his cell searching for just that.

As that day ceased, Cartman now found himself making a small keychain, he's developed a little bit of insomnia since he's got there but that was okay he distracted himself just knitting bracelets, he figured it could be the change of place, maybe even a little bit homesick. He turned to look at Kyle who was already fast a sleep, then he looked at the strings that were traded to him, he had placed in the ground with not much intention to use them so soon. But he contemplated the colors; red and green.. it reminded him so much about them, maybe because his favorite color is red; and green just reminded him of Kyle, that he did not know, or maybe he refused to acknowledge it.

And in less then seconds, he left half done his keychain to the side, picking up the strings and began knitting a string bracelet. He's always liked doing these type of crafts, they were entertaining and somewhat stress relieving. He also like the variety of colors he could use, and the diffrent techniques and things he could make. Ofcourse he'll never admit it to anyone, cause of how gay it sounds.

"Cartman?," he heard Kyle spoke, half awake.

He looked at him for brief seconds before continuing knitting, "Hmm?."

"You're still awake? you should try to atleast get some sleep, it's almost four of the morning, you know after that you can't drag your ass to bed," Kyle reminded him, he's been tracking his sleeping schedule like some bitchy mother.

"I know, asswipe, but I'm not tired," He groaned, as he now messed up a pattern and have to backtrack.

"Dude, stop doing that and get some sleep," he stated annoyed, more like an order than a suggestion.

Cartman continued to ignore him as he finished his bracelet. Kyle sat down now no longer tired, as he walked towards Cartman's and sat next to him, contemplated the bracelet in hand.

"Okay, fatass what's with all this shit?."

"What you mean?," Cartman act out like he didn't know what he meant, tying the final knot on his bracelet.

With a flat expression, Kyle gesture the pile of bracelets, keychains, little hats, little crocheted animals and flowers.

"I mean, I'm not gonna deny you're actually really good at it..," Kyle admitted, as Cartman looked at him surprised, "but, don't you think it's a little excessive? It seems like you're using it as some sorta copping mechanism."

Cartman gulped nervously, now looking at the bracelet in hand.

They sat there in silence as Cartman didn't find a answer to that, he bit his lip, as he reached out for Kyle's hand, startling him.

Kyle reluctantly let him grab him, as he cautiously looked at Cartman tying the bracelet on to his wrist, his heart pounded uncontrollably as he felt his breathing become heavy.

Cartman slowly moved back, now staring at him, "i- I just think it's a fun way to distract yourself while being bored in the big house y'know," he said casually, avoiding his gaze.

"Right..," Kyle answered back, as he kept looking at the bracelet tied on his wrist. He liked the pick of colors, they complemented well together.

"Y'know what? I think I'm going to sleep," Cartman blurted out nervously as he layyed down and turned around facing away from Kyle.

Kyle took this a signal to move, he went to his bed, smiling lightly as he kept looking at the bracelet.

'Wake up everybody' a police officer pass by with coffee in hand, banging their cells.

"Goddammit," Kyle heard Cartman cursed out, he snorted because he did warned him.

Two weeks in and finally they were allowed to get visits, sadly in this prison they didn't allowed friends to visit them but family was a okay thing to go.

For Kyle's dismay he was also visited by his cousin Kyle, they were the most painful hours of his life, and worse, he couldn't leaving until visiting hours were done.

He'd looked at Cartman, seemingly chatting with his mom, and his cousin Elvin that decided to pay a visit to Liane as she was in distress by Cartman's absence, also joining her for family visits.

Atleast Cartman's cousin wasn't as annoying than his.

He frowned as he listened to his cousin rant about his allergies then about the risk of disease that he could get being in a prison, and being butt raped. He rolled his eyes, as the only things he's done here was just craft shitty string jewelry and play in the yard. Nothing too extreme besides the fight from two weeks ago and some contraband that happened in another cell.

He wished Stan and Kenny could visit them, atleast they could crack some jokes and have a couple of laughs before entering the cells. The only worries he had right now, was just being able to get back home.

As days go on, now ended the last week, they were finally released from prison. But then shoved straight to community service, so they were sent to some dorms near by the prison still not allowed in south park until they finish their time.

They were forced to sweep the front of the prison, behind it, then pick up the trash and littering there, also feed the dogs; he remembered how one in particular bit Cartman's ass and he was howling in laughter by that. It was torturous sometimes cause the sun was beaming hot, and they felt sweat up in their ass. Sometimes they were even assigned to organize some papers there, picking up the supplies for the inmates and discarding some boxes just as taking them out from a truck.

Technically becoming their free janitors/staff.

But atleast they weren't in prison.

My god, he would've preferred prison over wiping a old man's butt crack and dick. Anything but serving for a hospital for elderly, he scrubbed so many wieners he had lost count.

You'd be surprised how many times some old grandpas had tried to force their way on him, grasping on his hair and trying to pin him down twoards their wrinkling hairy damn wiener while he was trying to bathe them. It's not like the nurses didn't warned them before hand, but who knew there was alot of groping, sexual harassment and excessive use of racist slurs in the elderly home?

He'd screamed for the aid of other nurses almost every three hours. Though Cartman seemed to had it harder than him, as some old folks liked to tease him for his big ass, some daring enough to smack it and grab it. He remembered how some of the nurses hold on to Cartman preventing him from starting a fight with a man who had alzheimer.

After finally, a month and a half, they were finally free.

They literally sobbed with joy holding on to each other grasping their freedom, as if they still couldn't believe it.

°°°°

"KYLE!," Stan screamed excitedly as they came out from the bus.

Kyle hugged Stan as Kenny chimed in. Kenny then let go heading twoards Cartman who was just silently watching the whole thing unfold. He hugged him tight making Cartman complained by the immense pressure 'hey, fatboy how was prison' not really expecting a answer.

"Eric!," they heard another voice chimed in, as Butters ran twoards them, wrapping his arms on to Cartman, who unintentionally walked backwards by the sudden weight and force.

"Dude, these past weeks have been so boring with out you guys," Kenny admitted, "like, I never thought I'd be missing Cartman with just a week in."

"Aye!," Cartman blurted out, as Stan hugged him from the side resting his head in his shoulder for brief seconds before letting go.

Butters pat Kyle's back, "miss you too buddy."

Kyle responded with a warm smile and a slight nod.

Cartman yawned heavily as he stretched his back dramatically, "well, see yah losers, I'm going home," he stated before walking off.

"So soon?, you just got here!," Kenny annoyingly commented as he chased after him with Butters tagging along besides him.

"Well, I guess there is something I can agree on with fatass, I'm exhausted and I just wanna head straight back home," The redhead admitted also stretching his back before walking his way.

Stan chuckled as he joined him, understanding his lack of energy, walking him home. As he kept him up to date of what's been going on and what they missed in their absence.

Prev — Next

#south park #eric cartman #kyle brovlofski #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #kyman #sp kyman #i had a blast writing this one #don't think I've forgotten the kiss you guy #*guys #the absence of not being mentioned is intentionally you'll see in chapter three why #I'm actually really excited to write chap 3 it's gonna be a ride😂#reminder that this isn't supposed to be taken seriousc“:

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qroier · 3 months

Text

yt-dlp: An Installation and Use Guide

This guide specifically walks through how to download and use yt-dlp on Windows, but if you have a Mac, you should still be able to follow along. Just make sure to download the Mac version of software whenever the option comes up. I'm also going to be assuming that you have a 64-bit Windows system. The standard today tends to be 64-bit for PCs, but if you're not sure and you want to double check then go to Settings -> System -> About -> Device Specifications -> System Type.

This guide also focuses on the command line version of yt-dlp (accessed on Windows by typing cd in the search bar). If you prefer to access the program through a GUI, you'll need to download additional software. Here's a link to help you get started. (LINK)

If you have any specific questions that you can't find an answer to within the linked resources, feel free to reach out and I'll do my best. Also, as someone who can be incredibly computer illiterate at times, I'm writing this guide in a way that explains a bunch of things I used to be confused about, so sorry if it goes over something in too much detail.

Resources:

These are just some handy links in case you run into a problem.

The yt-dlp GitHub page (has literally everything you might need)

The r/youtubedl wiki, includes a list of common errors and FAQs

Installing:

Click on this link. It will take you directly to the section on the yt-dlp GitHub page where you can download the program.

Feel free to download whichever version works best for you, but I recommend scrolling down to RELEASE FILES and downloading the version that works for your system from the Recommended section. I've included a picture below.

Once you've clicked on your version (yt-dlp.exe for Windows users), yt-dlp will download automatically. It should show up in your Downloads folder.

FFmpeg:

To merge video and audio files (which helps you get the best quality from youtube possible), you also need to download FFmpeg.

Scroll down even more to the DEPENDENCIES section.

Click on that first link. It will take you to the FFmpeg webpage. Clicking on Download in the sidebar will take you to a page full of different versions of FFmpeg. DO NOT CLICK on the big green button in the middle of the page. What we need is a version that is already compiled.

Find the section that looks like this (titled Get packages & executable files):

If you're Mac, pick accordingly. If you're Windows or even Linux, I actually recommend you download from this webpage. It contains the same versions as the Windows builds by BtbN but is instead managed by the developers of yt-dlp.

Find the one titled "ffmpeg-master-latest-win64-gpl.zip" (I've included a highlighted picture below for reference).

That will download and go into your Downloads folder too.

Setting up a Folder:

The easiest way to use yt-dlp is by placing it and FFmpeg into a folder. You can store the folder wherever you want, but you will need to remember (and type out) the path to the folder every time you want to use yt-dlp, so I recommend not making it too deep.

What I did was make a folder titled "yt-dlp" within my Desktop folder.

Move the yt-dlp application from your downloads folder to your new yt-dlp folder.

IMPORTANT: Assuming you also placed the yt-dlp folder into your Desktop folder (and assuming you are a Windows user), then the full path to your new yt-dlp folder should be C:\Users\YOUR_USERNAME\Desktop\yt-dlp. Fill YOUR_USERNAME in with whatever your profile is called on your PC.

For the FFmpeg zip you downloaded, extract the zip file into your new yt-dlp folder by clicking the zip, clicking Extract all from the tool bar, and then entering the path to your yt-dlp folder. Everything within the zip is already stored into a folder, so you don't need to create a new folder just for FFmpeg.

Now you're ready to go!

Using:

This section is going to be almost exclusively Windows-focused because I've never used a Mac before and I don't know how the Mac command line varies from the Windows one. I'm also not going to go into any details. If you want more info or to explore the options, I recommend checking out the links in the Resources section.

Type cd and then press enter into the Windows search bar to bring up the command line. If you've never used the command line before, this is what it looks like:

I covered up my username with that blue square.

Type the following into the command line:

cd Desktop cd yt-dlp

This will take you to the same place where your yt-dlp application is stored. You must cd into the appropriate folders every time you want to use yt-dlp.

YouTube, Twitch, and Most Websites:

Find a link to whatever YouTube or Twitch video that you want.

Into the command line, type yt-dlp followed by the link you want to use. This is what it should look like (the red is what you type):

C:\Users\YOUR_USERNAME\Desktop\yt-dlp> yt-dlp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hECaXfk2Wo4

Press enter and viola! Your video should download! It will automatically go into your yt-dlp folder.

Twitter:

Twitter forces you to log into an account to view a video, so you have to give yt-dlp your account information if you want to download anything. I understand being wary of doing this.

The easiest way of going about this is by typing:

yt-dlp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hECaXfk2Wo4 -u YOUR_TWITTER_USERNAME -p YOUR_TWITTER_PASSWORD

And then your video should download as normal.

Alternatively, you can use your browser cookies as explained here.

Updating:

Here is the section on the GitHub that explains updating. Basically, type yt-dlp as if you want to download a video, but instead of also adding the link, add -U at the end.

Uploading:

If you want to upload a video or clip to tumblr and it's not working, my number one advice is to rename the video file to something simple and add .mp4 at the end. If that doesn't work, try converting it (either with yt-dlp itself or an online website). Sometimes you just have to fiddle with things before they work the way you want. Good luck!

#yt-dlp #youtube-dl #speaking #i generalized this but i use yt-dlp almost 99% for various clips which is why I'm putting this post here for you guys

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anal-queen-waifu · 11 months

Note

Don't you think your husband is a jerk? Left you pregnant and spending most of my time on Tumblr writing fantasies and interacting with others?

How do you see this as good Dom quality? Or even he is a man?

Are you even real? Or you both are the same person?

Seriously you guys are pathetic. Setting up the wrong example. Fuvking leave Tumblr and take care of your future kid.

Hello anon!

What a weird and mean thing to say, how did you gather that much information about our situation to draw such a far-fetched conclusion? I will answer this paragraph by paragrah, to make it as exhaustive as possible.

First of all, he is most definitely not a jerk, quite the opposite actually. He is kind, caring and loving. He is a great and present father. He works from home so he gets to spend quite some time in front of the PC working, but he ditches it a lot to either help or spend time with us (myself and the child). He didn't just "left me pregnant" and then spent his time "writing fantasies" - which, about 90% are not fantasies, but our experiences shared in the form of smut (mine and especially his). The interactions on tumblr are more than chill and helpful. He actually talks to a few people on here, listening to them, giving his opinion, offering advice - could this guy really be a jerk?

Juding a Dom's quality based on his smut, are we? Have you read the way he answers asks or his interactions with his 'non-thirsty' followers and mutuals? Yeah, might want to do that first before juding based on his smut or "horny posts" - as tumblr might call it.

We are both very much real, as it can clearly be seen from our pics, with both of us in them.

Pathetic? Us? What? For being on tumblr to express our sexuality on a site where it's fine to do so? To share stories and likes? To interact with one another and flirt in a kinky way through this when we can't do so as much as we wanted irl?

The only pathetic thing here is you. Giving me (us) hate when you only catch a glimpse of like 5-10% of our day, often times even less than that. What you could do is just unfollow. You are setting the wrong example by attacking people on the internet, not knowing anything about them, about their lives, thinking you somehow have the moral highground. You don't. You're just an asshole.

Oh, and by the way, just a little while ago, while I was on the bed with the napping child, my husband and Dom just cooked a delicious meal for us three to enjoy once she wakes up.

Imagine thinking you can't raise a child, have a proper and healthy sex life while also sharing kinky stories or interacting with people on here, and anywhere else. Pathetic.

#asks #me #anon hate #mind your business #you dk us

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 7 months

Note

I'm not downplaying taehyung recording at jk's house but it's you who's giving it more important making it seems like he's done more for taehyung than for others and that's what I'm telling you that he helped everyone with the help THEY asked him for and not Because he himself chose what help to do. And apart from that help for both tae and jm jk watched jm's content than anyone else's so yes this one adds as an extra.

And i mentioned jm taking vocal lessons from jk is again because you're making it seems like he would say no to help jm but he did for tae when jm has been giving giving credits to jk many times he did for butter and he specifically mentioned in their Vogue or Wkorea magzine (i don't remember which one it is when they were LV ambassador).

I'm not giving you this points to tell you to prove jungkook is perfect guy as in love with jm cause if i would have thought of him as perfect he would have been my bias and jm. I'm simply telling you all that because it's you in every post related to jkk you're simply downplaying their bond and things he has done for jm while giving much importance to other thigs he did for other members so I'm just giving you the reminders if you forgot.

I can defend yg the same way i did jungkook here even tho i Pretty much does not like him now but i know for a FACT that jm's been hanging out and in touch with him more than other members so I'm not gonna sit here and let my disliking cloud me over and think he's jealous of jm Cause jm wouldn't been talking to him about human relations (jm said in his fanmeeting ig) if yg was jealous of jm...so if by any chance you're thinking I'm taking you downplaying jk as something personal believe me i can write the same post for suga even when i don't like him.

Funny how you think you can write long posts about jkk daily but when someone else writes you proving you wrong in your points suddenly you don't want to read which is fine by me cause my point still stands right there being right.

Okay, last one I'm replying. You think Jungkook is great and does great things for Jimin, okay. I don't think he's great and I don't think he does great things for Jimin.

I haven't forgotten the things you mention. I just do not think they're that big of a deal, is that so hard to understand for you?

In my first post I said "things cancel each other out for me" is that he was there for different members in different ways. You're the one making it a competition ("so yes this one adds as an extra.") and thinking that him watching Jimin on Youtube gives him extra points. I don't think it gives him extra points. I'm not denying it happened -I just don't think it's a big deal, so I'm not giving him brownie points with that. Got it? No amount of essays you write are going to make me put him on a pedestal because he watched Jimin MVs on live.

I'm going to link the post so you can re-read it if you're interested and see how I never said "he did more for this or that". I basically said that everything he did for one or the other looks very similar to me.

Please, don't write the same post about suga. Nobody wants to read that.

"Funny how you think you can write long posts about jkk daily"... I don't think I can, I literally CAN because this is my blog and my PC and my internet connection that I pay for. You didn't prove me wrong about anything, you didn't understand what I was saying the first time. You got a completely different idea from what I was trying to say, and tried to disprove me on things I never meant. When I say two things cancel each other out for me, I'm saying that those events mean the same to me. And again, no amount of essays you write are going to make me put Jungkook on a pedestal for watching Jimin content on live. He's online everyday watching strangers content on tiktok, liking and following taekooker's accounts and you aren't celebrating him for that, are you? He spends a lot of time very publicly consuming tiktoker's contents as well (which could be compared to reacting to Jimin content online), and I doubt you're writing essays about his tiktok activities the way you're doing with his weverse activities.

I don't even deny that BTS are friends and that Jimin loves them and would give up one of his own hands for any of them. You just got angry and defensive about me not melting and swooning over Jungkook watching videos on Youtube.

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felikatze · 1 year

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Hi I hate downloading programs and spending money but I’m very interested in your fire emblem guys. Do you have any advice as to how I can best look into more details about them?

You are at the correct address, friend. You say you hate downloading programs but alas it is the best way to not spend money.

In the following you will find a basic summary of FEA, an abridged 3DS emulation guide, and whatever else abt FEA i word vomited.

This got long.

Basic Gist: My Guys (this is the second time someone has called them that, amazing) are Chrom and Robin from Fire Emblem Awakening for the 3DS. If you just want the basics, you can watch a let's play of them, I guess? I used this cutscene compilation to check things for my. fea fanfic. and god bless it is a playthrough where chrom and robin are married because it just makes the story better. it does.

If you don't know shit about FEA: Chrom, prince of the halidom of Ylisse, finds an amnesiac tactician out in a field. They, Robin, join his militia, the Shepherds. The group sets off to combat a new threat of zombies. At the same time, they attempt to solve the mystery of "Marth", a masked person who came through a weird portal together with the zombies.

Listen man you know who "Marth" is. I don't need to tell you.

If you don't know shit about Fire Emblem: FE is an SRPG fantasy series frequently referred to as "anime chess" because it is. It has a permadeath mechanic (if a unit dies, they r gone forever) but newer games, including FEA, also include a non-permanent death mode. The choice is yours.

The writing: certainly questionable sometimes. The Valm Arc™ is kind of famous as filler, because a new character gets to be protagonist for a few chapters. Say'ri, you're neat an' all, but do we need to do this?

Disclaimers: fea is kinda colorist. Which if you know fire emblem is (deep sigh) to be expected. Why are only non-playable Plegian characters brown and all the playable ones white? You know why.

Side characters rely heavily on gimmicks to define them which is either endearing or annoying. Depends on you. Also there is a loli dragon and I've seen THREE separate mods that redesign her. God people hate nowi's design (i'm people)

The game has a marriage mechanic. If two characters reach Support Rank S, they get married (straight married only though there IS a gay mod). Then their time traveling kid from the future shows up. You can have Chrom and Robin get married in-game (if Robin is a girl. I specifically picked F!Robin to do so) but they will REGARDLESS be the sappiest bitches on earth about each other. Even if they are married to other people. It can feel kind of awkward, I'd imagine.

Despite my disclaimers I will say that I was overall engaged with FEA's story on a moment to moment basis; it moves at a brisk pace without dragging, I found the emotional conceit at the heart of it all deeply compelling, and I overall just had a lot of fun.

With a cutscene comp you get the usual drawbacks: no side content. Some of the supports (optional conversations between characters) are fucking hilarious (looking at henry) and you also miss out on paralogues (sidequests) which include the second generation characters besides Lucina (my daughter whom I love).

If it's 3DS emulation you're looking for, Citra is your best friend. It's available for both PC, both Windows and Linux, though I have better experience on the former. It also has an Android App now, and from my scant experience with it, it runs great. Citra is definetly the No. 1 3DS emulator. No competition.

If your PC isn't on the higher end, fiddle with settings until you get to a grade of chugging that you're comfy with. I don't know what i did to get the game run smooth. Set audio to mono though bcuz it cuts out echo from lag.

As for a totally legit copy of Awakening, my usual go to vimm's lair doesn't have it, but the Reddit Roms Megathread does. Reddit is the best piracy help site fr.

Awakening Rom: Here. It's in alphabetical order, so scroll down to F till you find it. Or use the search bar.

Awakening DLC: Here. Same as above, use the search bar. Europe or USA version at your discretion.

If Citra complains that the files are encrypted: use the Batch Cia Decryptor. It's for windows.

DLC can be installed via the handy dandy "Add DLC" button citra has. I recommend dlc solely because the Future Past dlc has soo much Grima characterization that makes me go rabid. Highly recommend. I watched cutscenes of this one because I'm not smart enough to actually beat it.

When playing on Citra, I recommend turning off battle animations, since they're the laggiest part to emulate. Without them, my game ran smooth.

If you specifically want to see Chrobin, you will get more than enough of them in the base game. If you want to see my babygirl grima, you will likely question my choice in blorbos from base game alone.

There's also Fire Emblem Heroes, the mobile game, which has the famous day of devotion Chrobin duo unit, but: not worth it.

On gameplay tips: I'm very bad at strategy games. FEA is toughest early game in my opinion. Use Frederick liberally for his high defense stat until he's trash mid-game. Pair up is busted. If you pair Lon'qu up with someone who gives him + Speed (like Panne <- I am biased toward this pairing) he is basically unhittable.

Chrom and Robin are both very good units who will SHRED. robin's future kid morgan also shreds. #morgansweep. there's like. a whole skill inheritance system and like ideal parent combos for good stats or whatever but I got by fine ignoring it. i benched basically all of the second gen units except morgan and lucina. rip to them.

The base game can be vry easy it's just the dlc that is Very Difficult <- looked dlc up on youtube.

Additional Chrobin content includes, once again FEH, but i mainly just look at the art anyway, Fire Emblem Warriors (solid mid tier game but high tier co-op chaos experience with extremely garbage plot), and most recently the Fire Emblem Engage DLC, where Chrom and Robin get to chill in a bracelet as ghosts together. I don't have engage i just (once again) looked it up on youtube.

If you do decide to play FEA and like it, i will recommend you my favorite chrobin fics in a heartbeat. And, god forbid, you like Grima a smidgen as much as I do, i have. so many thoughts about him. And fic recs. Chrom/Grima ficrecs even. I love chrobin and chrom/grima equally because [if my incessant posting didn't spoil this twist i will be geniuenly suprised.]

TLDR:

watch cutscenes of FEA on youtube or emulate it ig. have fun.

#Feli gets asked #this is very long because i am a very verbose person #long post

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