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yonpote · 4 months

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ok heres how i split up the dnp eras (loosely based on dan's timeline in his interview w anthony)

2009-2011: the Sillies era :3 dan refered to it as being a dumb teen just posting cuz he was bored, which is like, thats what all of youtube culture was at this time. they met and like fell in love or whatever you know the lore dont you. phil moved from his parents home to his first apartment in manchester, and dan technically moved to uni but really he moved into phil's apartment to take advantage of his washing machine and ps1 and. yknow. other stuff. they officially moved in together in 2011 yippee hooray, the phanchester apartment holds a special place in my heart

2012-2013: THE SHIFT. they started getting Serious about youtube as a career, doing more stuff w the radio, superamazingproject started in 2011 but THE SHIFT is very easy to observe when you compare the first season of sap to the last season. ALSO. they were NOT A DOUBLE ACT AND NOT GAY 🙄. it could also be called the No Homo era lmao idk this is when a lot of shitty things were happening wrt leaked information, harassment of their families, and just generally becoming more in the spotlight especially while still in the closet being a horrible experience. but also, they moved to london and got cool opportunities with radio stuff and were starting to actually make a living on this shit.

2014-2016: Peak Dan And Phil™ Era. at the height of their popularity. they realized oh shit, we ARE a double act and not only does everyone enjoy us best as a double act, WE enjoy working together. tabinof, tatinof, dapgo, still doing the radio every month up until they start touring, 7 second challenge app, gamingmas, what the hell DIDNT they do during this time period (what they didnt do was uhh take care of themselves and not overwork and not blur their work and personal lives so much to the point where they felt like the whole apartment was a film set.)

2017-2018: Gay Softlaunch Era (aka post-baking aka glass closet) the baby steps toward authenticity, moved to the double apartment to separate work and life, ii's whole theme, dan talking abt depression, phil getting the quiff, both of them being gay as hell in every way other than saying it explicitly. important things of note: TRUTH BOMBS dropped, Interactive Introverts happened, still uploading gaming vids and honestly by the end you could feel their fatigue. and then they hiatused dapg.

2019-2022: ok these four years each feel like whole eras in themselves, but also theres an overarching theme. THE GAY ERA.

2019: im gonna futher split this year in half. first half- dad left to buy milk so other dad is taking care of us. rough six months for dannies im sure. important phil thing of note- he changed his film set from his "bedroom" to a fairly basic but cute shelf backdrop. honestly prob didnt wanna keep pretending that was his bedroom considering.... second half- DAN AND PHIL GAY. dan uploads his magnum opus. phil comes out via tweet. they go to japan and its really gay and it's The Trip to japan for them like yes they first went in 2015 and again in 2023, but Japhan 2.0 Was The One. what does this mean? proposal? anniversary? idk exactly but it was gay as hell dude and theyve talked about that trip with such love in their hearts.

2020: Phandemic (sorry that was bad) but also where tf is dan again? even with the big C-word happening, it was business as usual for phil, regular vids but make em gayer, caught a pigeon nbd, and end of the year introduces the Stereo app show Phil and Phriends where he's had chats with pj, louise, his brother, seth everman?????, and finally. dan reappears. they reveal that they bought and FULLY PLANNED a house together and are ready to move!

2021: they don't move house for another like six months! basically their house was (and is??) still being worked on AND they were in lockdown AND turns out at the end of last year, they were kicked from their Life apartment and were now living in the Work apartment so you can imagine what all of this can do to their psyche and lowkey they were getting sick of each other like it wasnt just bordering on phivorce it was nearly Phurder. Phidow. but to fill the time so that DOESNT happen, my favorite fucking thing ever happens: Lockdown Lads (and all the other names). the first taste of what a dnp podcast would sound like, with the added bonus of chaotic listener interaction. oh yeah also dan wrote a mental health guide book whatever (IM KIDDING I REALLY LIKE YWGTTN I WROTE LIKE TWO REVIEWS ON IT NOW) and they finally become Homosexual Homeowners. theres quite a bit more dnp content this year, dan being on phils channel a bit more, the phodcasts, dan's gay and not proud special.... oh yeah and hometown showdown i guess AND TEXT VIDEO 2!!! my favorite and my namesake!!!!!!!

2022: Prophecy Year..... but they didnt get married. dan returns with another longass video to say: hey i hate being a youtuber and also youtube majorly fucked me over. but also fuck that im gonna do a weird talk show and ALSO GO ON TOUR WITH THIS APOCALYPSE THEME! phil actually... slows down this year. more dan uploads than phil somehow??? but also Dan Is Leaving me is posted and i go completely insane and become the deranged individual you see today. WHICH FINALLY LEADS US TOOOOOO

2023-present: The Unhinged Era. dan's tour was a huge Emotional success for him but uh not without its hiccups due to management and all that and i think he and phil finally realize. Fuck It Who Cares. dan flies back to england FROM AUSTRALIA to make sure he can be with his future ex-husband on his birthday. CAKE HEART EMOJI. YELLOW PLAID SHACKET. they go on a gamer date and post a picture of playing footsies in a cab. THE PHUDE HAPPENS. they go to japan again and while this one will never be The One it was still a well earned holiday this time with bryony! and they took a bunch of very cute film camera pictures.... THIS IS ALL JUST THE FIRST HALF OF 2023 BTW. in phil news, he talks about going to therapy and figuring out how to manage his anxiety!!!! he changes his hair again!! he hires an editor, phan is his otp, he teases about the gaming channel a couple of times but so many of us already dropped any hope of that returning- OH WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!!!? HUH!??!? they returned, and more chaotic than ever before. the gayness upped to the max, the Weirdness on full speed, the Horniness at Very Scary Levels Oh God Stop Talking About Dogging, phil can swear uncensored now???? and this energy has continued into today...

#the shift #softlaunch #myrambles #phan

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kings-highway · 18 days

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pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together

daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*

i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???

tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.

I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.

for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that

with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.

okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita

kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.

I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.

#haikyuu ships #daisuga #asanoya #tsukkiyama #iwaoi #bokuaka #ushiten #arankita #kuroken

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spaloonbabooguuscooties · 9 months

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You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

#ive spent months on thsi stupid lesbian toxic yuri slow burn relationship so you all better clap or im blowing this building up #psychonauts #elka doom #franke athens #ill paint the town red

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privitivium · 3 months

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A thought just came over me and i don't know whether or not this is a bad idea lol.

So reader right, having a motherly "spouse" thats a bit too overwhelming and protective?, Yep totally normal.

And having his boss, a literal CEO following and giving coffee or latte's during readers working hour, sometimes he would see the fatherly CEO stalking him in the corner of his eyes, well that's a bit weird..

And oh my, seems like a streamer had just befriended him, a pretty popular guy too.

not giving too much thought about it, reader immediately started playing with the streamer.

Not giving too much thought on how deranged and personal the streamer's questions about him, a bit uncomfortable nonetheless, but he really seems like pathetic guy infront of him with the cameras off, But mother did say to be careful on the internet (or else he's taking away the internet privileges)

But what happens if the streamer "accidentally" (he doxxed reader lol) met reader in real life and started stalking him, only to see two humongous guys clinging on to him and seemingly fighting each other internally, calling one of them mother and the other father, but streamer knows that is definitely NOT your parents...seems like reader got another yandere on his dick

(if you don't get the gist of it, what im basically saying is that can you add streamer yan to the mother yan and father yan ordeal..just a headcannon is fine..but i wanna see a story tho lol.

Sorry if this is a bit too long haha

this is the same anon that requested yan mother and father yan, the whole "bringing my bae his forgotten lunch to his workplace only to see him getting spoonfed by fucking his boss" ordeal lol)

its fine i generally love reading little stories in my requests . Thanks anon

motherly, fatherly, streamer yandere x male reader,,,

all amab, cw;; mild perversion, manipulation

i'm gonna go with,,, theyre just housemates. two super close friends with obvious sexual, romantic tension - mother refers to you to others as his lover, and you dont really care, so you must want to be lovers? mother doesnt push it... but is still as overwhelming n overprotective as ever. thanks mother !

fatherly CEO stalking you? seemingly to pop up everywhere you went with a cup of coffee for you - or even mixing it up and getting you some kinda matcha deal!! nothing out of the ordinary, your superior was always kinda affectionate... you try to tell him that theres no reason to be so chummy with you ( trying to direct his attention on something else but it doesnt work ) afterall, you do see all ur coworkers prying eyes... but it was no big deal. ur coworkers didnt seem to bother you anyway, so... you guess ur fine with your superior doting on you ( even if it was quite inappropriate in the workplace, but he managed to turn ur mind right around !! so charming ! )

and - three whole friends ?! two of which theres some kind of unspoken tension, especially with your housemate who you affectionately nicknamed mother - you don't tell anyone so, embarrassed that youre referring to a grown man as mother... and instead, almost spilling it to your newest friend-! ㅡstreamer yan being a fucking freak and tapping into ur shit before mother or fatherly does - having to play with a raging hard-on because hes a sad little freak in real life, but on stream hes the coolest most badass guy ever... who asks too personal questions - but you didnt seem to mind. like, who do you live with? is it nice? what kind of soap do you use in the shower? how often do you do laundry? didnt register in your mind that this streamer guy is a total pervert - but steering clear of such questions when on stream...

and what do you know ?? streamer pulling up to where you live... just to get a good scope of the place n all,,, nothing too out of the ordinary. definitely not stalking. he just happened to live a few towns close by... and - having the great idea to ask what you were gonna do one day, just to be there to show up. small town or something... just to see you in the middle of two bulky ass dudes who were adamant on avoiding each other - ever so often glaring heatedly at one another... and, he hears you calling one mother??

can imagine mother n father wondering why ur spending so much time on ur phone... unusual for you since ur never really on it that much-? and mother did tell you to be wary of the internet... you begin to hide away in your little workspace mother made up for you in your shared home, fiddling on your computer and - playing video games and messaging some guy... who were you talking to? who were you laughing with? how dare they make you smile ????

mother n father teaming up reluctantly just to figure out wtf is up with ur computer and phone... wanting to know who ur talking to ( surprisingly havent tapped it!!! ) and obviously, mother goes in there when ur not home - at work with that bastard other man he has no choice but to work together with, fiddling with your computer n not knowing the password - so mother, immediately going to guilttrip you into giving him the password. hes especially sad that it wasnt his name or anything of the sort...

they were so happy you were suddenly so comfortable calling them father and mother in public as they act accordingly - so sweetly, you feel an overwhelming amount of affection which was what they wanted in the first place... streamer obviously feeling intimidated,,, but willing to join ur little harem.,,,

#streamer yan :3 #motherly yan!#fatherly yan...#x male reader #male reader

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callmegaith · 10 months

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The only thing ineffable bureaucracy showed me is how hyper focused this fanbase is at seeing one thing and one thing only and everything else is a result of that one thing

1) no, Beelzebub and Gabriel are not a straight couple. Nor is Crowley and Aziraphale a gay couple. Stop the non-binary erasure or go outside and talk to an actual non-binary person cuz clearly you have no clue what non-binary is "they're straight presenting" wtf? If you think that please give me your name so I can block you. Cis people, I fucking swear.

Reminder that Beelz used they/them pronouns btw. Sorry that Beelzebub doesn't "pass" for you, it doesn't make them any less non-binary. Not to mention it was stated and already IS CANON that none of them have genders. They're god damn demons and angels, bruh.

2) "it's Gabriel's and Beelz's fault that ineffable husbands didn't get their happy ending": no. It's their own damn fault for not communicating and Aziraphale's inability to accept Crowley as he is. Gabriel and Beelzebub put each other first. Y'all sound salty as hell cuz two people managed to work their relationship out and yours didn't work out. "But if they didn't get together---" y'all really saying shit like this??? Do you hear yourself? That's so sad. Wishing for the doom of one LGBTQ+ ship cuz the other fucked themselves over. THEY CAN BOTH CO-EXIST. And you know what? They will. Cuz Ineffable husbands is clearly canon, the story just wants time with them cuz they're the main characters, not like Beelz and Gabriel who were side characters so had their story summarized.

3) "that should have been ineffable husbands" no, cuz Crowley and Aziraphale aren't Gabriel and Beelzebub. They're different characters with different backgrounds, personalities, relationship structure, and different relationship dynamic in general. They'll get together in a way that fits THEM. And that way requires ups and downs that makes them finally understand that they're perfect for each other without the need for either of them to change.

4) Gabriel was such an asshole wish Crowley got his revenge and--- bla bla BLA : Crowley was happy for them. You hold a grudge over Gabriel that Crowley himself doesn't. Y'all worse than a literal demon. Smh.

Be happy for what we got and look forward to the future where ineffable husbands will certainly become canon and it'll be worth the wait. Don't tear down the LGBTQ+ presentation we got just cuz the main ship didn't get the limelight THIS TIME.

Let things cook, that's how writing WORKS.

But I'm just an Agender demi person and tbh? I would prefer if things took their time.

I love both ships a lot but I'm not gonna hold pitchforks over one ship getting a happy end and one still developing. Come next season, that happy end for Gaberiel and Beelzebub might not last. We DONT KNOW. Do we really need to sacrifice one for the other? Why can't we be happy to have both?

Just really think the vibe of the fanbase rn fuckin SUCKS and I'm not enjoying trying to go through the ineffable bureaucracy tag and seeing people complaining about how it should have been ineffable husbands or how it's their fault.

Okay? Alright.

After this imma start blocking ppl I swear. Just had to throw in my two cents.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy

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candyfloss5000 · 7 months

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SFW alphabet

Nathan Prescott's SFW alphabet!!!

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A - affection (how affectionate are they with you?)

In public, Nathan's affection towards you is dropped down to holding hands, an arm around your shoulder or waist. You'll get a kiss, if you're lucky. He isn't big on PDA because his parents raised him to think that showing your love for someone in public is inappropriate and frowned upon.

But when you're all alone, it's a whole different story. If you're trying to concentrate on something, Nathan will make it his life goal to distract you and steal affection from you. Whenever you're alone together, he's holding onto you in some way whether it's having you sat on his lap, or just holding onto you in some way.

B - best friend (how are they as a bestie?)

Fucking insane. Expect to do some crazy ass shit 24/7. He'll hang around you like a lost puppy, whether you're doing weed somewhere, or terrorising the neighbourhood

C - cuddles (how do they cuddle?)

This man will cuddle you in any position, as long as he's touching you he doesn't care. Although, in the beginning of your relationship he was very tense when it came to cuddling you and physical touch in general. He didn't want to be seen as vulnerable or weak, because he was scared that you were going to make fun of him for it. Because of this, he resulted to spooning you, so he could still hold but be able to not show how much he's enjoying it.

Now, he prefers to be held by you, because he knows that you won't laugh at him for it and you won't tell anyone. He'll also just lay ontop of you and rest his head on your chest.

D - domestic (their thoughts on settling down)

Nathan has never had a domestic moment in his entire life, until he met you that is. He does want to spend his entire life with you, but he isn't prepared to drop everything and become a normal citizen of society yet. He wants to spend his youthful years as rebellious as he can, but not to the point where it could ruin both your lives.

E - ending (how would a breakup go?)

A breakup with anyone else, wouldn't bother Nathan the slightest bit. But with you, he would actually lose his mind. Expect alot of shouting and yelling, then sobbing and begging for you to stay. Nathan has spent so much time with you, the thought of you splitting up never crossed his mind, so he was really shocked. He would start spiralling downwards rapidly. Not attending his therapy sessions, not taking his pills, lashing out at everyone. All he wants is you and that's the one thing he can't have.

F - fiancée (how do they feel about commitment?)

Nathan was originally very weary of commitment, purely because he feared that you'd leave him like everyone else. But after a year of you dating, he realised he couldn't picture his life without you. Nathan was raised to think that marriage is the best way a relationship could go. So, he waited a little while after you both graduated before very nervously popping the question. Obviously, you said yes. (If you dont I'll personally murder you for crushing this poor boy's heart)

G - gentle (how gentle are they with you?)

You know that Nathan is the most rigid person to ever have existed and won't hesitate to through someone out of a window. Which is why you were so shocked when he held you so delicately as if you'd break like glass. And the way he speaks to you is so timid and soft, a tone he's never used with anyone else. You're the only thing in his life that he actually gives a shit about, so he's going to protect you at all costs.

H - hugs (their thoughts on hugs)

He's not a very big fan of hugs. He'll side hug you tho, wrapping his arm around your waist to bring her hips next to his. The only time he'll accept hugs, is if you reward him with a kiss aswell.

I - I love you (who's the first to say it and how often is it said?)

Surprisingly, Nathan was the first to say it. It happened when you were comforting him after one of his many nightmares. He tucked his head under your chin and you ran your fingers through his hair. You let him sob and tell you all about it, while comforting him. Nathan realised in this moment, how this is the first and only time someone has treated him so gently and softly. In comparison, everyone else treats him like trash. So, in the darkness of the night he muttered a small, "I love you." And his heart was pounding agaisnt his ribcage as he waited for your response. "I love you too, idiot." You said back, kissing his forehead.

You only share "I love yous" in intimate and private moments. Nathan doesn't like the idea of just saying it every five seconds, because then he thinks it loses it's meaning. So, you both always cherish your "I love you" moments because you can tell how sincere it is.

J - jealousy (how jealous do they get?)

Jesus Christ, this man can go from zero to one hundred real quick. If he sees you having a conversation with a guy he isn't friends with for a little too long, he's marching over and making an obvious display that your taken. If he sees someone straight up flirty with you, he'll straight up tell them to fuck off. When they eventually leave, he'll kiss you with a burning desire, as if proving that you're all his. Despite all of this, he's never angry at you. He'll never say that you were purposely leading the guy on or anything. He trusts your loyalty.

K - kisses (their thoughts on kissing)

Nathan's all for kissing and making out, but not so much in public. He'll stick his tongue down your throat to his heart's content in the safety of your rooms, but not in public. He'll kiss your cheek, or peck your lips quickly in public, so people don't see him as soft and vulnerable.

But drunk and high Nathan is a whole over story. He'll take you to a quieter area of a Vortex party and press himself agaisnt you while you're backed up agaisnt a wall. You can't say you don't love him like this, but you do remind him that you can't do this here because of how fast photos and videos spread around Blackwell. You don't want him to do something he'll regret while he's not even sober.

L - little ones (their thoughts on having children)

Honestly, Nathan is fucking terrified of having kids. Purely because, he fears that he'll turn into his father. If it ever were to happen, he definitely wants to be in the right state of mind, not on any illegal drugs and not drinking any alcohol. He really doesn't want to fuck up raising his kids, like he has with everything else (his opinion).

If his father comments on how he thinks that Nathan is doing a shit job as a dad, his heart will shatter into a million pieces, because someone confirmed his biggest fear. But you and his sisters make sure to tell his dad to shut the fuck up and assure Nathan that he is doing a good job and he is a good dad.

M - mornings (how do mornings usually go?)

When you're still in Blackwell, mornings last only for a couple of minutes. You wake up from the light bleeding through the curtains and listen to the students starting their day in their dorms. You and Nathan sleepily talk about how shit your days are gonna be, while pressing lazy kisses to each other's skin.

When you're on summer break, or you've graduated and in your own home, your mornings are so much more relaxed. You stay in bed for atleast two hours, holding each other and telling each other how beautiful you think one another are with sleepy voices. It takes you atleast half an hour to convince Nathan that you actually need to start your day.

N - nights (how do your nights go?)

When you're still at Blackwell, your nights start with one of you sneaking into the other's room. Then, you watch a movie on his laptop and cuddle in bed, sleepy kisses passed between you both before sleep consumes you.

When your on summer break, or you've graduated and living in your own home, nights are more calm and layed back. You huddle up under the covers and do whatever you want. Watch a movie, talk about your days, make out 👀. You end up falling asleep way later than you do when you were at Blackwell, as you have more freedom over your schedules.

O - open (how open are they about your relationship?)

It takes a few months for Nathan to annouce your dating, he just wants to make sure that this isn't just a fling or something and that it's for real. He doesn't show PDA alot, but people know that your dating, mostly because Nathan wouldn't let anyone get as physically close to him as you do if you were just friends.

P - patience (how much patience do they have with you?)

Nathan is alright with you requiring some time to figure something out in your relationship, considering how much time he needs in your relationship aswell. If you need him with you alot of the time, he doesn't mind that either. He admires your presence.

Q - quizzes (how much do they remember about you? Like little details?)

It might not seem like it, but Nathan is very observant of the things you say. He makes mental notes of your interests that you've mentioned and stuff you've said you want. Which is why he's an amazing gift giver. If you say you like something as a one off, months later on your birthday he's got it wrapped up for you. "Nathan, this was five hundred dollars!" "So?"

R - remember (their favourite memory with you)

Nathan's favourite memory of him and you is your first kiss. He took you to the lighthouse and you were looking out at the sea, a golden ray of sunshine lighting up your face. Discreetly, Nathan pulled out his camera and snapped a photo of you, causing you to turn to him. You tried to grab his camera to delete the photo, but he raised it above his head, where you couldn't reach. You were up on your tiptoes, trying to snatch the camera, not realising how close you and Nathan were. You stumbled forward a little and Nathan instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist to steady you. You looked into his eyes and he looked into yours. Before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

S - security (how protective are they of you?)

This man is able to act as your boyfriend and your gaurd dog. It's well known around the school that Nathan and you are an item and that your both off limits. So, when the oblivious new kid was trying to hit on you, Nathan was beyond fuming. You're surprised there wasn't any steam coming out of his ears. Nathan was fully prepared to smash the new kid's nose into sidewalk, but you felt bad for him and let him down easy, telling him that you already had a boyfriend. That's when Nathan appeared. You subconsciously stepped inbetween them, knowing that Nathan was about to become uncontrollable. The kid hastily left after seeing the dirty look Nathan was throwing his way over your shoulder. That's the plus of having a gaurd dog boyfriend, he's an asshole but he's your asshole, so you can some what calm down his anger.

T - try (how much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries etc)

When it comes to dates, Nathan uses his rich boy privileges. He takes you out of Arcadia Bay and into a nice town that has an even nicer restaurant. As much as you love that Nathan has spent all this money on you, you don't like these type of dates as much as you would like. You know, that Nathan isn't being his real self when he does things like this, he's just doing it because this is what a stereotypical boyfriend should do. You prefer it when he takes you to quieter places within Arcadia Bay, like the Two Whales, the lighthouse and the beach at sunset.

When it comes to anniversaries, Nathan only cares about the main ones, like when you two got together and when you got married etc. He doesn't really care that much about the more little ones. But he does go all out for anniversaries, again because he knows that this is what a boyfriend/husband should stereotypically do. He gets you expensive gifts and takes you to the lighthouse, where you share so many fond memories.

U - ugly (a bad habit of theirs)

Nathan has a habit of putting his status first beyond anything else. Which means that sometimes he does stuff that he doesn't really want to do, purely because it will make him look cooler and boost his popularity. This is why he doesn't like PDA, because he fears that people will make fun of him for loving someone.

V - Vanity (how insecure are they?)

Nathan is very insecure about so many things. He's made this facade that he presents infront of everyone, so they don't get to see the damage behind it. You can see right through it, but you'd never call him out on it. You both have a silent agreement that when he let's his gaurd down with you it stays between the two of you.

W - whole (do they feel while when they're with you?)

Yes, one hundred per cent. He feels so complete and content when he's with you, because he knows he doesn't have to act like someone else. He can just be him. And you love seeing the real Nathan and how you can now understand him so much better.

X - xtra (a random headcannon)

Nathan can't sleep in silence. He needs a tv on, or his laptop playing something, or a playlist playing on his phone. He can't sleep without something playing in the background, because when he's left in silence he over thinks things too much. The sound distracts him and eases his mind.

Y - yuck (a personality trait they hate)

Nathan hates it when people try to get close to him just for popularity, or just to try and get closer to the Prescott family. He can't stand people using him and he doesn't have time for it. So, if someone tries that with him he tells them to fuck off and he can ruin their lives in a millisecond.

Z - zzz (sleeping habits)

Nathan has to sleep holding onto you somehow. He has to be holding onto your arm, or keeping one of your legs entangled with his own. This isn't really sleeping habit, but he has a fucked up sleep schedule. Like he'll wake up at five in the morning one night and then only just get into bed at five in the morning another night. #fixthisman'ssleepschedule

#life is strange #life is strange x reader #nathan prescott #nathan prescott x reader #chloe price #max caulfield #victoria chase #Kate marsh #warren graham #rachel amber

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miyaur · 1 year

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pairings. blade x gn!reader

synopsis. nsfw alphabet w blade gg ez, a-n only becuz im l-l-lazy....

a - aftercare (what are they like after the deed?)

blud lowkey don't give a shit about you if you aren't that close, lmao

but if you are, probably kind of clingy, and really caring. a lot of cuddling, don't tell me i'm wrong cuz i'm NOT.

in some cases, and instances, those.. 'activities' you both have do make him quite exhausted, and most of the time it really just ends with him showering you, cleaning you up, and just being in his embrace (more utc.)

b - body part (their fave body part, of themselves, and their partner's!)

probably for himself; would be his hands. just in general, plus he knows how well they treat you anyway! so why wouldn't it be his favorite? and for you, probably loves everything, doesn't know what he'd do without it, can't decide on one sole favorite, maybe your stomach and probably your neck!

c - cum (cum, anything to do with it)

will cum on your face, if not, he'll come inside, nothing in between.

i dont know how to elaborate here but um, the way his cum be sprayed all over ur face is just so mmmm to him. makes him hard all over again!

d - dirty secret (self explanatory)

not rly dirty, but wants to see you get a necklace with his name on it, or a collar with his name on it, and while he pounds so recklessly, he wants to see that pretty little pendant of his bouncing up and down on your neck, very fond of the idea, but never would actually say it to you, unless you really push him enough.

e - experience (has bro done the deed before?)

maybe? not that experienced probably, but has messed around with somebody before yes!

he knows what he's doing though, don't worry. but overall probably just did it once or twice, barely can call it sex

he probably read about sex before doing it with you, cause he wanted it to go perfectly.

f - favorite position (self explanatory pt2)

just as long as he can see your face, missionary, cowgirl, let it be anything, just as long as he can see how your face just gets so corrupted because of his big cock.

g - goofy (is bro serious about sex?)

very serious, it's almost funny, but it isn't, he's dedicated, and will show it.

but maybe when you both get closer, and are able to be more intimate with each other, in relationship wise, and etc., sure he'll laugh once or twice about a mistake he's done.

h - hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

um, yes and no?? i don't really know, i can't rly tell, like maybe thrice a week sure, and the rest of the week he don't really care, it gets messy when you both fuck anyways. and yes, black hair, thats it, idk how to elaborate ab this LMAO

i - intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

gets too embarassed. no he will not show his blushing face, even if he's already inside, probably takes like, a round or two before he does

kind of like, he'd giggle about it and go okay bae

but also would be the kind of guy to go, "i want to be the only man, the only person, in this whole galaxy, this whole universe, to make you feel like this."

j - jack off (master bait :D)

yes, very often, no other choice, i cant say otherwise. likes to imagine its you on that monster ahh cock instead of his hand, be real, he the type to do that. uses imagination wisely, and does it when you're away from him, on a mission, or whatever, needs you 24/7 tho

k - kink/s

degrading you like it's his life's purpose. loves you like it's the calm life he's been looking for since forever, but will degrade you, calls you slut, whore, made for his cock, and all that jazz.

oh but facesitting; super big fan, wants to just be in you, tongue up in your hole, while he just strokes his cock, just needs you to sit on his face so bad

be so fucking honest w me, he probably turned on by the idea of getting pegged, or getting anal. won't admit it out loud, but he wants to get treated like a prince. like just wants you to make him feel so good, that's it.

l - location

doesn't give a fuck if other people hear, will fuck you in an alleyway if he feels like it, or if you feel like it, in the public bathroom <3 but just way prefers being in bed with you, feels more romantic, and gives off more feeling to the moment, in his own opinion, will do whatever you're comfortable with.

n - no no

roleplay, anything related to it, it seriously grosses him out

non con, in general, he's disgusted by it, i know that for a fact.

don't degrade him please, he's heard, and been called all kinds of names before, and it's not like he ever liked them.

don't hurt him, it's clear in his skill he does hurt himself in the process</3, im sure he seriously just wants to love you, and wants it back, his degrading is to a small extent, and it's just in the heat of the moment thing!

#hsr scenarios #hsr x you #hsr x reader #hsr smut #hsr blade #honkai star rail scenarios #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x reader smut #honkai star rail x reader #blade x you #blade hsr #blade x reader #honkai star rail smut

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megumimania · 9 months

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AOT LONDON BOY HCS PT 2

featuring: reiner, onyankopon, armin

a/n: this is part two of these hcs, part one is here! thanks for tuning in its kinda rushed my bad 😪, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

ARMIN

-armin would be from islington or finchley maybe even south, but I don’t see him living in like bougie areas such as kensington or chelsea or like richmond

- him and eren went to the same primary and secondary together

-armin was literally his get out of jail free card because of his stellar reputation in academics

-he always gets free stuff from the corner shop or the chicken and chip shop

-doesn’t own a car, he either bikes or takes the tube because he cares about the environment and doesn’t want to add onto the extra pollution in london

-his dress sense is very casual like a t shirt, a pair of loose fitted trousers and some trainers but when he cant be bothered he’ll wear a tech fleece

-he has a very good sense of direction, like he knows the fastest routes for anything, like when eren and connie dragged him to carni (if you went this year im saur jealous 😩 but anyways) and it was time to get home armin found a quicker route that got them back pretty fast

-knows all the best secret spots in london for anything! which makes hanging out with him more fun because you experience a new part of london when you’re together

-he isnt a fan of eren’s scamming ways but when eren asks for help he always answers as long as he’s not a part of it

-london men i feel like are terrible with their feelings but armin is the exception, he would be very open with you about his feelings and such

-reads so much, you’ll catch him at hyde park or greenwich park reading till the sun sets

-he smokes cigarettes but he’s trying to cut it out for you

-his playlist would be very diverse since he’s been brought up in a multicultural area, like it would go from bashment, to rnb, drill to pop

-unlike his unserious counterparts *cough cough* eren and connie, he’s very loyal!

ONYANKOPON

-my ghanaian king, shoutout to my ghanaians!!

-he speaks twi so well that people forget he was brought up in the uk

-he would be from peckham or lewisham for suree, he’s deffo been dragged around by his mum round rye lane market on a saturday morning carrying that trolley with him

-he goes to a pentecostal church, he’s always leading youth service and helping out at church events.

-the aunties love him for this because he’s the perfect son that they don’t have and they just love him in general

-ony can cook and im being for real, so you guys never eat out unless ony wants to show you to a new niche restaurant somewhere

-he has snap but doesn’t have a bitmoji because he thinks it’s immature 😕 but eventually he caves and makes one because you ask him too

-hes always promoting his boys stuff whether that be music,

-he deffo went to an all boys secondary and then he went to a mixed sixth form after, he gives me those vibes

-he used to go to the library to link girls after school 😭 he had a big playboy phase but hes calmed down

-he used to be one of those people at stratford westfield trying to sell you magazines before you enter

-hes not stingy with his money, hes always spoiling the people he loves

-he has a bunch of caps and grills that he likes to rotate out weekly, he has great style

-he works in corporate london so its rare that you dont see him outside of a suit and tie but he always makes time for you

-ony is always holding your bag for dear life when you go to bait areas like oxford street or westfields or like the tourist spots because people be getting their shit stolen loool

-he loves late night tesco trips anything that he can do at night i.e late night walks, drives etc

-bossman is always giving him discounts on stuff because ony is loyal customer.

REINER

-look at that man and tell me he wouldnt be from essex tell me!! like thats pure dagenham material right there

-if you search up a typical person from essex, he would come up

-he probably owns those skintight chinos with those ugly polos with the church shoes

-he tries to downplay his accent a bit since sometimes its hard to understand him but when hes upset his accent comes through in full force

-always at spoons or at the club till early hours

-reiner gives me bricklayer vibes so thats what im gonna roll with

-when he comes home from work in summer hes like hot and sweaty but it makes his biceps glow so its kinda sexy idk

-has a bunch of tattoos, most of them are birthdays of family members and a picture of his grandma who passed away

-has a british bulldog called belle, the dog is fucking scary but reiner thinks the world of her and thinks she can do no wrong

-listens to mainly dnb, garage, techno

-downs pints at the pub like it’s nothing, he has a high alcohol tolerance

-proper geezer that’s all i have to say tbh!

#aot x reader #armin x reader #onyankopon x reader #attack on titan #aot fluff #aot headcanons #vina writes #aot reiner #aot x black!reader #black writblr #aot x black reader #armin attack on titan #armin arlert x reader #aot onyankopon #reiner braun #aot

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