brb crying a bit over how ugly and strange my face and body look in the pics the singer took of me and his gf/wife to capture our outfits of the night 😭

like I literally looked like that all night? around other people? how come nobody stoned me for looking so hideous...

The Friend

Summary: When Sean is six, he creates an imaginary friend. Jack lingers into adulthood and their friendship isn’t as perfect as the little boy had hoped.

When Sean is six, he spends the night at his friend's house. Max's big brother dared them to stay up all night. As much as he tried, the little boy couldn't stop himself from dozing off before midnight. Max teased him about his failure until it got out of hand. Years later, Sean would look back on it all and conclude that Max was a bad friend. In response to the teasing, he invents an imaginary friend. Jack is kind and forgiving. He doesn't care if Sean is loud and instead joins in with the noise. More importantly, at least to the boy, he never sleeps. He is there for him whenever Sean requires him to be. He has no mind with which to object or act otherwise if he wanted. He is the perfect friend. Jack has more energy than Sean. He can continue to run around the school track while Sean has to call it quits. As children, they laugh and suggest it's because Sean plays too many video games. They know their logic is flawed. Sean runs around with his friends as much as they sit down to play on game consoles. But like all children, Sean grows up. Teenagers aren't meant to have imaginary friends. When he was younger, conversing with Jack was seen as sweet. Now older, he'd begun to leave childish things like invisible buddies behind. However, Jack lingers and Sean notices him on occasions. One such moment was after he plays the PlayStation version of Spider-Man 2 and they design a superhero together. Jack is a ghost, no longer required to serve his purpose. He collects figurative dust in the corner of his best friend's mind. Each time he is brought back, even if he can't express it, he is grateful. It prevents him from completely fading into non-existence. Existing as a faded memory is all he really knows by this point. One day, he'll be able to say barely existing is purely numbing. However, for the moment, he doesn't know better. For now, his 'life' and actions continue to be entirely at Sean's mercy. Soon, Sean is 23 and passing 1000 subscribers on his YouTube channel. Jack is proud of him. He smiles on his own accord. It disappears when he feels the muscles in his cheeks tug themselves upwards. Sean is nowhere to be seen. He hasn't existed without Sean being present before. He's not sure what to do without him or how to find him. Awareness of free will dumps him in an empty room. It is only him, the floorboards, four bare walls and a single door. He needs to know where Sean is. How does he proceed without his creator instructing him? Despite all the energetic activity he was subjected to as a child, he is clumsy as he runs towards the door. He falls on his face in front of Sean's TV. His hands sting from absorbing the impact. Upon laying eyes on his only friend, he realises they are wearing the exact same outfit. Neither of them know how to deal with this development. The two of them eventually progress past 'What the fuck?!' 'Don't ask me!'. Becoming real is the strangest thing he's experienced thus far. If he came into contact with something real like a desk, his body would reacted the same way as Sean's because he couldn't imagine a body clipping through surfaces like a badly designed character model. Now when he sits on a sofa, he actually feels the seat underneath his body. Being alive, being able to feel things for the first time is beyond any expectations he could have had. It's July, summer is underway. If he'll be able to register the sensation now, he wants to have the sun on his exposed skin. Sean laughs when he hears this and says it's a shame they don't live in a place where sunshine is more common. A particularly hot day arrives and Sean brings a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream back to the cabin. It's cold and chocolatey, with little chewy bits of brownie. Jack falls in love instantly. He goes out and buys more flavours any time the sky warms his skin. Sean playfully teases him about getting fat if his habit continues. The Jacksepticeye channel becomes theirs, not just Sean's. They both play games and grumble to each other about how slow things take to get uploaded thanks to the cabin's terrible broadband. Anything personal like a Q&A or comment reading video remains purely Sean's territory. Their arrangement works, especially with Jack editing into the night so Sean could sleep. Months pass and the weather cools. Unlike warmth, he hates being unable to have complete control of his body as it is overtaken by tiny shaking movements. Sean tells him he's just shivering. If he puts on another layer of clothing, it won't be so bad. His friend seems happier in general. He's not quite so lonely anymore. Jack is glad to be able to contribute to that in any way. He notices Sean making himself hot chocolate one day in December. He's confused when he is abruptly forbidden from making or tasting the drink himself. A week into February, everything becomes clear. "Hey Jack, happy birthday!" Sean hands him a mug of milky brown liquid. He accepts it hesitantly. "But it's your birthday. I got you a present and everything." "Yeah but you need to have a birthday too. And February 7th the best day to have one, in my opinion. Might be the tiniest bit biased on that though." He grins. "Go on, I've been wanting to see what you think of hot chocolate." Later, after Jack has made a few cups of the drink for himself, he'll realise this first serving was a little milk heavy. However, his obliviousness is beneficial. He drinks it eagerly once it cools a little, his first ever birthday present. Sean promises to get him something better next year, once they're more sure of Jack's likes and dislikes. Jack tells Angus about it. The Australian hunter appeared three months before him, as a result of the Survival Hunter series. With only the other for company, they rapidly develop a close friendship. Angus understands how strange existence is. Together, they discuss nature and watch David Attenborough or compete against each other in multiplayer mode of various games. In time, he notices something wrong. At first, in the summer of 2014, Angus begins to sleep in longer. It isn't exactly alarming but it is certainly a change in behaviour. By the time they are discussing hibernation, the wildlife expert is getting forgetful. By the end of 2015, he's constantly in his room, resting. Angus is a shadow, quite literally a faded memory, and Jack knows exactly who's to blame for his friend's condition. He returns to Sean multiple times, forever attempting to persuade him to bring the Survival Hunter series back to the channel. Time after time, Sean argues there isn't anywhere he can take the series. If he thought harder, maybe their creator would find a way to stop it all. He's been so accommodating before that Jack struggles to understand why Sean is so unwilling to cooperate. The first crack shows. When Sean tells him about breaking up with his girlfriend, he provides any support his friend needs from him. Months later, Sean is telling Jack about a Danish artist he's befriended. He gushes about how much he likes her art and how easy it is to talk to her. One day, Jack teases him about having a crush on Signe. With a short, self conscious laugh, Sean admits they were actually dating now and that he hoped to invite her to Ireland soon. Jack ruffles his hair, much to Sean's chagrin. Dude's in love again. Good on him. When she does eventually set foot in their home country, Jack keeps away. She may be a twin but Sean definitely isn't. If she saw a duplicate of her boyfriend, there would be a lot of explaining to do. Seeing as she was solely here to spend time with him, it would be best if they avoided having to say "Well, it's a long story...". Besides, Jack had something that required his own attention. He kept spotting Sean lurking around Jack and Angus' home. Except, he could have sworn their creator had a murderous glint in his eye. His appearance wasn't consistent either. Some occasions, his eyes would be dark or he'd have blood visible on his person. Other times, the intruder simply gave the impression of being unhinged. The problem was that Jack couldn't get a good look at the stalker. The guy would always be in the corner of his eye or disappear as soon as the two made eye contact. Jack could almost say the evil Sean glitched out of reality. He questions if this is a new 'ego' as they'd come to call the two Sean lookalikes. Waking up with brown hair and making dinner with the top being green was a little disorientating. He didn't even realise his hair had changed until he went to the bathroom and shocked himself. Yes, he knew Sean was dyeing his hair for charity in response to Mark doing so. He'd even received a photo from the new grass top himself about the change. What he didn't know was that he'd change appearance too. He checks on Angus. No, his hair was still the natural brown. Sean later gives him forewarning before making an appointment at a tattoo parlour. Despite this, Jack does a double take when the Bold Hunter's Mark appears on his right arm. When the summer of 2016 begins, Sean brings up the superhero they'd designed in 2004. After filming with Ninja Sex Party, he's got a red suit and a lot of ideas. The night of July 10th, a younger version of Sean with his current hairstyle stood at his door. The teenager introduces himself as Jackieboy Man, or Jackie for short. Jackie is the breath of fresh air Jack didn't realise he needed. The 16 year old boy is brimming with energy, enough to match his own. He doesn't seem to have actual superpowers but the older ego assures him that's okay. He introduces him to Batman, one of the most famous non-powered heros. More importantly, Jackie is someone to talk to when Angus is busy spending the majority of the day resting. Within days, they are firm friends. Despite his age and having only just been granted autonomy, Jackie proves his eagerness to play the hero he'd been designed to be. He's also very adept with technology. It isn't long before he's made some improvements to the house. Jack catches him trying to access the dark web at one point. The boy shrugs it off as making the most of his skills. After all, he'd been doing just that in Welcome To The Game. Jack remains skeptical. A month after Jackie appears, Sean messes around with a magic kit on camera. Shortly after the video is uploaded, a man wearing a cape and a cat mask finds himself before the three other egos. His cynicism makes Jack question whether they'll get along. He does like the mask though. Jack stares at Sean when he admits the magician was an unintentional character. He swears he will go prematurely bald from wanting to yank his hair out. Sure, Jack could understand his own beginnings as a separate entity. How could Sean have known that by calling himself Jack, his childhood imaginary friend of the same name would be given life? The same went for Angus. Their creator was entirely oblivious to the power a bad Australian accent and a few hundred subscribers held. By now, Sean should have learned his lesson. The new guy believes his name is Jack the Magnificent. It won't do. Jack wouldn't mind there being another Jack if it wasn't for the fact it would get confusing quick. Not to mention there would be two Jacks and a Jackie. Yes, it would be extremely confusing. Jack watches the magician's introductory video again. Fifty Amazing Magic Tricks from Marvin's Magic. Marvin. Marvin the Magician. Marvin the Magnificent. Marvin's face lights up when Jack suggests the name. It's almost like he's had an epiphany. Marvin's right, the name does fit him. Jack is glad he could help. The boost in Marvin's self confidence motivates him to practise his magic. He was able to conjure fire in the video. Logic dictates he can do it again. Jack and Jackie are ready to assist Marvin in whatever way they can with exploring the extent of his magical abilities. Within two weeks of Marvin's arrival, he is dragging a bloodied Jackie into the house. With no medical knowledge at his disposal apart from basic first aid, the incident ends with the youngest housemate being admitted to hospital. He doesn't wish for this to become a common occurrence but they should be better prepared. Perhaps having a doctor as back-up wouldn't be a bad idea. To his relief, Sean is all for it. He purchases a copy of Operation and a doctor outfit. It's a mystery why Dr Schneeplestein is given an awful German accent. Nevertheless, Jack his excited to welcome the doctor. He's unsure about the backstory. The guy's brought into the world with a disloyal wife who is blackmailing him. He knows they have children but can't remember their names or their ages. The doctor doesn't have a first name either. He was simply 'Dr Schneeplestein' in the Operation video. Like he did with Marvin, Jack attempts to find a name that suits the new ego. He goes through baby name websites, specifically ones featuring German names, with the doctor. They eventually bump into Heinrich which prompts a minute of deep thought before the nameless ego announces Henrik is the right name. Several days later, Jack learns of Elias, Heidi and Alina. In mid-October, the morning after Ninja Sex Party upload their music video for 'Cool Patrol', Jackie challenges him to an arm wrestle. He wins several matches. The young superhero giggles as he admits he's going easy on Jack. The two of them spend the following days exploring Jackie's new powers. Marvin shows up, either to watch or practise a defensive spell, while Henrik stood by. They soon establish that, along with technological expertise, Jackie has super strength, flight and lasers at his disposal. By far, his favourite power is the ability to fly. Jack comes out from a recording session towards the end of October to be ambushed by Marvin. He's questioned on whether he'd like a balloon. The minute he accepts, Marvin fetches the 'balloon'. When Henrik spots Jackie being transported around the room, floating while attached to a piece of string, he mutters something in German and retires to his area with coffee. As the month draws to a close, Sean offers him the opportunity to carve the pumpkin this year. He gladly accepts, only later remembering the weird stuff happening to the footage of several videos. He brings it up with his friend. Sean insists nothing will happen. Yes, he's building up to Antisepticeye making his debut appearance but that will be the second video of the day. Jack is skeptical but lets it slide. While their creator could be wildly irresponsible with his ideas at times, Jack trusts him not to deliberately put any of them in harm's way. He is even promised the dangerous upcoming character wouldn't be a threat between videos. During the carving, his nose begins leaking blood so he jokes about how big of a coincidence it was. Off screen he allows himself to be freaked out by the nosebleed. The actual bleeding nose isn't the issue. He's had nosebleeds before, namely when Jackie's aim was off during training. It's the timing that scares him. It's Halloween, with Antisepticeye due to show up today. This is too much of a coincidence. Despite not wanting to, he decides the show must go on. He says some uncharacteristically mean things to Gerald. When he argues with Sean, at least there's some reason to let insults slip. Gerald hasn't done anything wrong. It fails to matter when he is forced to lose control his body. Regardless of how much he'd love to resist, the knife slices through skin. He wakes up in a hospital bed. Dr Schneeplestein explains everything, advising Jack doesn't watch the video himself. He gets incredibly caught up in sudden, painful revelations as soon as he's left to his thoughts. Sean told him Antisepticeye wouldn't target the pumpkin video. Sean had lied. Apparently, his creator could deceive him without hesitation. Worst of all, he now knew how his 'friend' saw him. Expendable; Jack was expendable. He can't believe he'd trusted Sean like that. What was he thinking? Sean had gone against him in the past, namely ignoring his suggestions to improve the lives of the egos. Did he for one second consider how terrifying being suddenly robbed of your autonomy could be? Or suffering through being murdered by your own hand? Sure, the anaesthetic helped dull it to an ache. That didn't change the fact Jack would have a scar as a daily reminder of Sean's willingness to sacrifice the one he'd designed to be everything he wanted in a friend. If his life wasn't as important as Sean's, the difference should be so small it was inconsequential. By the time he is able to be discharged, he had forgiven Sean. Of course he was expendable. He was just made up like the others. No harm could come to Sean, he was too important to lose. None of them would exist without their creator. In a way, he should be thankful for being used as bait. At least he could still be relevant, unlike Angus. He'd been in Angus' position for years. Jack never wanted to feel like that again, as if he was nothing. He's never resented his basic character traits more. He hates that a little boy could force his best friend to always forgive him. He wouldn't be surprised if Sean committed genocide and Jack let it slide. Never sleepy, unable to stay angry at him forever, always willing to provide emotional support should he require it. Well, at least free will had allowed him to bend those rules at times. The truth was that Sean wasn't perfect and Jack didn't want to treat him as such. It didn't matter. The forgiveness comes too late to save Jackie. Sean's visit to the infirmary sparks another row. Frustrated with the disagreements, Jackie bursts into the room halfway through, screaming at them to stop. As soon as he had thundered off, both faces of the Jacksepticeye channel allowed themselves to resolve the latest issue calmly. "What are we doing? This constant arguing is getting us nowhere." "Tell me about it." Jack grumbled back. "Want to call a truce?" "I'm still furious you used me as bait. I don't know how you could have consciously done that." "I know. I'm not sure what I was thinking. Just wanted to give the subscribers something fun for Halloween, I guess. I-" "A community event where they post art would have been more fun." He interrupts. "Hey, I could do that next year." Sean's smile is cautious. "I promise I won't pull something like that again." His friend extends a fist with only his smallest finger out. He's got to be kidding. "What are you, five?" "Come on, humour me. Please?" Jack is reluctant but does it anyway. "You're a fucking idiot." "Don't we know it." Only one laughs. "This doesn't mean I'm going to let it slide just yet." He fidgets. Despite the stuff Schneeplestein had given him, the ghost of Jack's neck wound bothered him still. "Tell me about Antisepticeye. You've made a video with him so he'll be out there now. I should at least know what to look out for." Jack's biggest regret after that night isn't repeatedly allowing himself to forgive Sean. Instead, he becomes remorseful for not getting his friend to follow the young superhero. By the time either of them realise Jackie was yet to return, it was too late. Jack postpones his German studies to focus on bringing the youngest member of the household back to them. His efforts bear no fruit, even months later. The joint birthday celebrations go far better than either of them could have hoped. There are no ill feelings between the two of them on that day. The only fight they have is when Jack silences Sean's complaints of getting older by 'accidentally' smearing frosting on his face. Signe takes a photo of them, crumbs and frost littering their neon green hair. He keeps the photograph with the other reminders the two of them did have great times amongst the disagreements and resentment. He plays the first chapter of Bendy and the Ink Machine while Sean is away at PAX East and the other egos are sleeping. Sean's been hyped for this game for a while, Cuphead too, so Jack is leaving them for him to record. That said, there's no reason why he can't play it in his spare time. Later that month, he absentmindedly watches Sean's playthrough of it. "'The creator lied to us.' Well boohoo, people lie all the time. It's part of life." Jack had found that message on the wall intriguing when he'd played it. As much as he tried not to let Sean's comment get to him, it lingered. At least this time, he could exit the video and never return to it. The week after Angus' birthday, Chase Brody arrives with a name from the get-go. Unfortunately, he also has a wife who's divorcing him and a suicide attempt under his belt before meeting any of his fellow egos. Sean's done some stupid shit before but portraying a suicide? Really? Jack knows for a fact that his friend isn't one to see poor mental health and suicide as something to joke about. Nevertheless, Chase grows on him. Once you got past all the self deprecation and depression, he proved to be a cool guy who loved his two children. Unfortunately, the bullet Henrik has to extract from Chase's brain ruins his ability to perform complex actions with his left arm. "I'm not changing his character." Sean states during a gaming session. "Okay, but-" "Jack, I'm not doing it. This isn't me being stubborn and unwilling to compromise. People split up all the time and sometimes children are involved. A bunch of my subscribers will be able to relate to the situation, either as the parent or the child." "He shot himself in the head." "Unfortunately, that's something people in Chase's headspace consider doing." There's something in the way Sean speaks that worries Jack. "Some of them out there need proof things can change. I could show that." "You're not depressed." He's really unsure on how to have this conversation. "Well, no, but neither are you." They don't go further and Jack's guilt grows. He is sure he's missing something but he can't put his finger on it. They instead discuss topics that were more pleasant. Any miniscule progress Chase makes with his arm, Jack cheers him on. At least he understands where the issues lay with the latest ego. He wishes he was as in tune with Sean. He had been once. Now they were both watching their tongues in case either of them accidentally triggered a disagreement. Home wasn't so bad. He and Marvin still dedicated hours to locating Jackie but, as ever, no breakthroughs were made. However, progress was being made in other places. May brought a second cat into the household. The white feline was usually found lazing around with Jack and Chase or hanging out with Marvin's Abyssinian, Bastet. Jack feels so dumb when he finally learns why he can never find Marvin when the white cat is present. He couldn't be prouder of how far the magician's abilities had developed since August. He had returned to learning German at night. When reading German texts, occasional words begin to become familiar. Every now and again, he doesn't have to check what a word, or even rarer a phrase, means. It takes him a while to remember how accents change the sound of letters. Practising his speech alone, he is convinced his pronunciation is off by miles. Nevertheless, the delight on Henrik's face when he haphazardly makes his way through imperfect sentences proves it is undoubtedly worth it. Henrik coaches him on his native tongue while Jack continued to correct the doctor's English grammar. Henrik's ability to speak French is utilised after Sean plays a game called Passpartout. Jacques Septique often enclosed himself in his room, painting whatever he felt like that day. Once he became more comfortable around the five others living under the same roof, he offered to paint their doors. Soon, the house was a little more colourful. Jack promises himself he won't get too close to the French artist. He'll be kind and welcoming to him, of course he will, but he knows Jacques wasn't made last. He's a fan creation. All you needed to do was visit Angus to see what happened to that kind of ego. He'd been wary of Marvin when he'd first appeared. Unintentional with no name? He couldn't be more fan made. Jack had been an idiot and allowed himself to become close friends with the magician. It had taken Angus little over a year to start going downhill. That meant that by Christmas, Marvin would show signs too. There was the hope that the near 16 million subscribers were more able to preserve Marvin than the hundreds or thousands who saw Angus' ten videos. However, it was just hope. On the last day of July, Jack has a bad morning. He trips on something, spilling scalding coffee all over himself and breaking one of his favourite mugs in the process. After that, he records a video, only for him to notice none of the footage was recording. Frustrated, he calls Sean to see if he's free. His best friend almost succeeds in cheering him up with his jokes and sympathy. Jack is on the brink of feeling better when Sean ruins it all. "I'm burnt out, man." Sean admits. "YouTube needs to sort itself out." "You're burned out?" Jack scoffed. "Sure, how long have you been feeling like that?" "Oh don't give me that. This isn't a contest to see who's more tired. Besides, you don't get tired." He knows he has the power to avoid this argument before it truly begins. But years of Sean not listening have resulted in little patience concerning these topics. His mind isn't able to stop his mouth in time. "No, you don't give me that, Sean. For three years, I've watched one of my closest friends deteriorate into nothing. We could save Angus but you refuse to help me. Plus you don't let me upload any of the videos anymore." "I... I never have." "I'm not finished." He continues. "You need to stop playing God because you clearly suck at it. If we could find a game with wildlife in an open world for Angus, we could bring him back to his original condition. I'm not saying we go back to Far Cry, especially with the 5th instalment coming next year. But can you finally co-operate with me so we can save him? It would be one less mess of yours for me to fix. Not to mention it's practically 9 months since Jackie disappeared. We both know what happened to him. Anti is your creation. I don't care if he has as much free will as the rest of us. You could think of something, shit I'll take anything at this point, to keep him at bay. I'm sick of having to be the one who everyone relies on. That should be your job. You can't create us and then leave us to deal with suddenly existing by ourselves. If you want to keep acting like this, at least let me sleep. Even just once. Everyone can just escape all the problems you mindlessly burden them with for a few hours. Not me, I have to stay up and wait for the next big disaster you throw at us. Joke all you want about never needing sleep. I won't be laughing." Sean looks at him like he's insane. "Sleep? You're... kidding right? Just lie down and close your eyes. It's not rocket science." "I can't! I physically can't fall asleep because that's how you made me." "I was six!" "Yeah, and now you're 27. You have the power to help us but instead, you just create more of us. Stop being so irresponsible." The fight escalates. Jack is a broken record, repeating many of the points he's made over the years that still remain issues. If that isn't a line of argument in itself, he doesn't know what is. He also insists Marvin's name should be made canon already. After all, it was nearing a full year since the magician's first appearance. The spat ends with Jack forcing himself to leave the situation. "You want to sleep, I'll let you sleep." The words sound more malicious than they should. "Bring back Jackie. He's been missing for months. Do something!" At home, he marathons Harry Potter with Marvin and Chase for a few hours. It doesn't take his mind off the argument with Sean completely. If he knew they wouldn't get the chance to reconcile for two years, he would have apologised sooner. Unbeknownst to him, things were already being set in motion. Just three days later, he is overcome with queasiness as he introduces the latest episode of Bio Inc Redemption. He doesn't understand what's happening. One thing he does know is that nothing about this is good. Excusing himself, he stumbles carefully to Henrik's section of the building. "Hen-" He gags, hand flying to his mouth again. "Henrik, I need help. Something's wrong."

So,

I wondered if I was going to see a fight. 

It was the evening of the Nelson mayoral candidate forum at the Prestige Lakeside Resort, and there was tension in the air. This was the last campaign event before the election and people were getting ornery. I was covering the proceedings for the Nelson Star, circling the shadowy 200-person crowd with my camera, whipping out my phone to capture snippets of the audio. Onstage Deb Kozak, John Dooley and Pat Severyn were being interviewed by veteran broadcaster Glenn Hicks. In the front row sat Dooley’s wife Pat, and their son Sean, along with a row of ominous suited-up hockey players from the Nelson Leafs. Whenever Severyn said anything negative about Dooley they murmured and shouted out, rustling angrily. Kozak was flanked by the men, effectively acting as a buffer between them, while they took childish jabs at each other. Meanwhile she remained defiantly positive, keeping her answers constructive, showcasing an emotional maturity the other two couldn’t manage.

Hicks wasn’t letting her get away without a fight, though. Known as a bit of a provocateur, he’d warned the audience ahead of time that he was planning for things to get incendiary. He pressed Kozak on the timing of her announcement, how she’d waited until after Severyn’s entrance to throw her hat in the ring. It had been rumoured she had ambitions to run federally for “anyone but the Conservatives” before this, so why the change of heart? He asked about her endorsement from Sensible BC, calling her “marijuana chick”.

Deb smiled, bemused. “I think what Sensible BC saw in me is I have the ability to say `let’s have a conversation’. Our current laws don’t make sense and I know our police officers over the years have been very aware that our laws for simple possession don’t make sense,” she said.

“It’s pretty sad when our pot tourism is going south.”

That night I met Ed Thurman, standing at the back of the room, covering the event for an online publication called the Nelson Daily. He was in his 60s, but surprisingly spry, and peered out skeptically from behind a pair of round glasses that kind of made him look like a scowling owl. We’d written duelling profiles of all the council and mayoral candidates over the previous few weeks, and I was constantly checking to make sure my stories were successfully getting out before his, but we hadn’t yet connected in person. He was a strong writer, the manager of a local choir, and a well-respected figure in the community. I nodded in the direction of Dooley, who was stammering angrily about how Severyn had no experience, and asked if he’d ever seen him like that before. 

It was getting embarrassing. 

“Oh, anyone who’s been to a council meeting in the past few years has seen him like that at least once,” Ed said. “There was one meeting I was at where he was actually spitting with anger. He’s a hard-working mayor, but he definitely has a bit of a temper.”

“I think it might lose him the election,” I said.

Ed had an unreadable expression on his face, one I would come to know well. There was a bluntness, a directness to his observations. “You might be right about that.”

“You don’t think Severyn will win, though?”

He snorted. “Let’s hope not. I don’t want to think about what would happen if that idiot got into office. He’s embarrassing himself.”

Before heading down to the forum Calvin had given me careful, clear instructions: he wanted something around 1000 words, without a whiff of bias, that included an equal number of quotes for each candidate. He needed a photo for the front cover of the Star’s next issue, as well as some additional shots for Facebook and the website. Once it was over I was supposed to type it up and get it online within an hour. By this point I felt pretty confident that I understood the main concerns of the election, and I wanted to get beyond the personality game to the real issues at stake for the community: What were they planning to do about the affordable housing crisis? Who was the right person to shepherd the community towards a legal cannabis industry? Who was going to be proactive about providing services to the marginalized? Because Dooley had been in his role for over a decade it was clear he knew the right hands to shake, but it was also clear that he was disinterested in engaging with opposing views or divergent ideas. Glenn Hicks asked him to defend himself on charges that he didn’t allow for proper conversations during city council meetings, and his answer was telling.

“There are issues I’m very passionate about, and I won’t mask that. I think we’ve done an excellent job and I have the utmost respect for all the people at the table. But we have an agenda we have to move our way through, and that’s really important,” he said.

“I’m not going to let us get distracted every time someone disagrees with something.”

Severyn, however, claimed he’d been approached by one of the departing female councillors and that she’d told him her decision to leave was due to Dooley’s stubborn communication style. He made a big show of it, shaking his head like it pained him to unearth this inconvenient truth. Though he wouldn’t say who it was, there were only three real possibilities—the fourth was sitting onstage with him. Positioning himself as a benevolent saviour, he promised that he would encourage conversation and make sure everybody has a chance to speak.

“I want to change the leadership,” he said, to a smattering of applause. “I want to change the way the councillors are treated.”

Dooley emphasized the things he’d accomplished over the years, including introducing new revenue streams, investing in broadband infrastructure and moving forward with the Stores to Shores project. He told the audience there was $10 million in infrastructure funding just sitting there, waiting to grabbed, and he was the one best suited to do so. Kozak answered back that she was the one better suited to the task. She paused for a moment, gazing confidently out at the audience, and took a long breath.

“The next four years are going to be critical. We’ve been resting on our laurels and we’re considered quite smug. I think what we’ve been hearing is we’re ready for an evolution,” she said. 

“I’ve been working hard to make relationships for the last nine years regionally, provincially and federally. And if you elect me your mayor, I’m going to make sure those relationships pay off.”

Meanwhile, Severyn laughed off the idea he was unprepared for the role. “The mayor’s job has no real pre-requisites,” he said, noting that his 30 years of experience on the Nelson Police force had given him plenty of transferable skills, including a strength for building relationships. He vowed to be accessible to everyone in the community “from the bottom of the payroll scale all the way to the top.”

“I’m not a career politician and I don’t plan to be a career politician. But I’ll empower council to do what’s right for the citizens. I’m not new to Nelson. I’m not new to this city at all,” he said. 

“I walked the beat for thirty years and I talked to every single person from panhandlers all the way up the chain. I’m ready for this.”

As I sat down to write, ten minutes after the event ended, for a moment I felt daunted by the task ahead of me. I was in the Star office alone, with the lights off, stressing over how to approach the article. Each piece I put out about the election resulted in a flood of e-mails and social media interactions, sometimes with corrections or accusations of inaccuracies. People were engaged. It was exciting, but it was also emotionally exhausting. Roles were evolving in the newsroom, and I continued to grapple with imposter syndrome as my time got siphoned away from arts stories and toward hard news. Calvin was throwing me into radical environments that I didn’t understand, then I had to turn around and prove myself to be the expert. 

There were hundreds of people in that room at the Prestige, so how come my version of the event was the one that would be saved for posterity? Just because I happened to have this job, at this time? Did I really deserve that sort of power? I clacked away at the keys, transcribing quotes and placing them on top of each other like un-deployed Lego blocks, my mind whispering you’re going to fuck this up, you’re going to fuck this up. I tried to remember the answers that landed, the quips that earned the most applause. 

The moment that kept replaying in my mind was Dooley interrupting Hicks. “Let me finish,” Dooley said, visibly upset. “Let me just finish, let me finish.” I couldn’t believe it. Hicks had essentially accused Dooley of not allowing other people to speak, and in his response he was doing exactly that. This wasn’t me putting some lefty slant on the piece, this was just a fact. A fact I was going to lead with. 

But could I get away with it? Would Calvin go for it?

“When I read the first three paragraphs I was almost ready to strangle you,” Calvin said, upon reading my filed story. I’d called him on my cell during my drive home. 

“You started with all that bully stuff with Dooley and I thought it was going to be a total hit piece, but I think you nailed it. Great quotes, nice balance, that’s exactly what I wanted.”

“What’d you think of the stuff Severyn was saying?”

“Great stuff, great stuff. I mean, the guy’s a clown but he’s definitely quotable.”

“And Deb came off good, man. She was calm, collected, the audience was loving her.”

Calvin snorted. “Dooley’s still going to take it, though.”

“You think?”

The Kootenay Goon