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missamyrisa2 · 1 year

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Hi miss amy just a question if U had a ticklee all tied but all you had was feathers and feather dusters how would you tickle them

Oh my sweetheart. You do not want to go down that road~ I think of myself as a loving loving tickler ~ but something about feathers just brings out my most wicked ways ~<33 I suppose it's their elegant shape and deadly potential, along with most ticklees thinking there's nothing to be afraid of other than the bigger tickles that follow this fluffy harmless thing. But all that ticklee bravado gives way to desperation when I'm seeking out the hyper tickle spots with these precision feather strokes. Nothing probes those delightfully oversensitive little strips of skin between and under the toes like a stiff feather quill. Naturally, I'll have you bound overly snug with your toes pulled back and arms taut, I want you to feel every movement of that soft invasive sensation. I'm going to take my friend, let's call her Rachelle, and slip her soft white elegance between each toe ~ back and forth, back and forth. Amazing isn't it? How your attention can be sooo focused on such a slight touch, just grazing a little area of skin normally protected from touch. Incredible how hyper attuned a teeny tiny area of your body can become to my attention because it's always so hidden.

And we're going to compare every reaction between these toes. With fluttering detours to the valley below them, oh my yes. Your toes aren't going anywhere. You can struggle all you like but me and Rachelle are exploring every crevice. Every one. Her long body can elegantly stimulate your skin, and her tip is such an amazing prober. You can't hide those reactions, and there's no escape from the giggles, your spots will be found and tickled. They'll get all my attention. And when you're so good and helplessly giggly melty just from my feather friend, you'll find your arms pulling fruitlessly. Oooh, you know you can't escape, your strength waned long ago, but you just can't help it can ya? You want to break free and I bet you could, just keep trying my sweet pea ~ Pull those arms while I tickle and tease the outline of your underarm. Why, I could tickle your armpit rim alll night and watch you flop and writhe like that. It must be so tickly to watch me lay like this, relaxed and drawing my feather carelessly in a loop~ I know it tickles, I knowwwww ~ because if you could only turn the tables I'd probably be a mess too yes I would ~ ahhh, but here you are, tied and helplessly spread for my whim ~

Coochie coochie coooo ~ yes, that's right, me and Rachelle are going on a deep dive now. Aww, does that itch? The little royal itchy itchy? Your cute regal button can't stand that feather can it? Look at you go~! Buck real good now, you're sooo close to escaping! All you have to do is break free and you can stop this feather, it weighs nothing you could just push it away ooooooh man, sooo close~! I really thought you had it~ ahh wellsies, I suppose I'll just have to tickle your royal zone like this all night now, up and down and up and you guessed it dear, down again ~ keep up those gigglemoans now, I want to get them all out ~ all of them ~ I knoww I know you want more touch huh? I bet you'd like me to take these wiggly fingers and give your royal area so much love huh? Guess what? Not gonna happen ~ no deal banana peel ~ you're in for a loooong evening of feather tickles. Soo gaspy now, so wiggly. Look at thattt so dramatic all from my little feathery friend? Yeah? Aww cutie pie. We're not going anywhere. Because I think this just became a party ~ I have Rachelle's friend Labelle right hereee and she's a saucy little one who's going to make sure your royal chest buttons get their due toooo~<3

#miss amy's tickle teases #feathertickles #feathertickling #tickletease #tickletorture #ticklingfetish #erotictickling

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ragsy · 1 year

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Top 5 asks you got

My tagging system for asks is abysmal (which is to say I don't have one) so I don't.... remember a lot of specific examples, but here are my favorite genres of asks I receive

5. Those chainmail asks that are like "anonymously send this to 5 people you like being around!" are a nice gesture. I never actually follow through with spreading the chain but it makes me very happy

4. When someone has to follow up on something bananas I said in the tags of a post and it's so important to them that they send a dedicated ask instead of just prev tagging

3. Sometimes anons post randomcore weird shit in my inbox and I don't often know how to respond but it's a fun brain tickler for me like when you put rat treats in a rolled up towel to simulate foraging behavior

2. When people ask me how I made something? You're interested enough in my crafting hobbies to know more about the things I make?? I love you???

1. ASKS ABOUT MY CHARACTERS. I WILL EAT THESE UP EVERY TIME. ASK ME ABOUT THEIR SLEEP HABITS OR THEIR OLIVE GARDEN ORDER OR WHAT DND CHARACTER THEY WOULD PLAY OR LITERALLY ANYTHING

#anonymous #ask meme

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ace-of-garlic-breads · 1 year

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Animaniacs Reboot songs ranked

since the whole Animaniacs reboot is out I thought I'd rank all the songs by how much I enjoyed them(least favorite to most favorite):

42. Category 5 41. Animaniacs main theme (It's nothing new....) 40. Pinkey and the Brain theme (I like it more than the main theme cause of the new animation style( 39. Yakko's world in the 1800's 38. Alien Chorus 37. A-Zit (my favorite part is Yakko and Wakko's parts they harmonize so nicely!) 36.Fresh Pinkey 35.Coffee 34.Narf Day song (both) 33. Yakko's big idea 32. The Hamburg tickler song 31. Gruesome Ol' Gruel 30. Warner's ark 29. I am the very model of a ancient roman emperor 28. Anima-Nyet 27.Rap Battle pt.1 26. Bonding 25.Lakes are fun 24.I'm gonna eat'cha 23. FLOTUS, FLOTUS, what do you know about us 22. Banana Hammock 21. Reboot it 20.the catch up song 19.Limbs fall off 18. I ate a rock 17. Rap Battle pt. 2 16. Conceive of yourself 15.Flora Dora 14. Christopher Columbus song 13.Sing a song for your Gruel 12.a Brief History of History 11.why the earth is worth saving 10.Be a Kid 9.We could try to do it Santa 8.Suffragette song 7.Let's go home 6. the Bayeux Tapestry 5.Be like me 4.the Cutening 3. Magna Cartoon 2. Do it yourself 1. Here comes the sea

#animanaics #animaniacs 2020 #animaniacs reboot #you don't know how long this took me #i had to move numbers around like 5 times

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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

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Rhythm Stick

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: It all happened so fast. She wasn’t usually a girl for one night stands, and she certainly didn’t go out with the intention to get laid, but she just couldn’t ignore the stranger across the bar.

Warnings: Smut, crack (crut? smack? I dunno), dirty talk

WC: 1073

A/N: The idea to it was born out of a conversation which I stumbled into on the @spnfanficpond discord server. I think @superfanficnatural @impala-1979 @impalaimagining were involved.

Thanks so @emoryhemsworth and @deanwanddamons for giving it a look over :)

It all happened so fast. She wasn’t usually a girl for one night stands, and she certainly didn’t go out with the intention to get laid, but she just couldn’t ignore the stranger across the bar.

“He’s delicious,” Her friend whispered into her ear, “Wouldn’t mind riding his trouser snake, bet it’s big, too.”

She scoffed at her friend who just winked at her before she went off to find someone for herself.

And now they’re standing in the darkened alley behind the bar, his lips on hers. His hands roam across her body while he kisses her hot and rough, his tongue slippery wet against her own. He hikes up her leg, his hand on her thigh and she hooks it behind him. In this position, she could feel his pleasure pump through the thin fabric of his pants. Her friend wasn’t lying. He’s really big.

The stranger nibbles down her throat, sucking and marking her, teeth scraping along her skin and she throws her head back further, moans out in pleasure. Her hands fists in the short of his hair, nails digging into his scalp, “Oh, god,”

He chuckles against her throat, “It’s Dean.”

“Dean,” She calls out, and he thrust against her crotch, his knobgoblin gives her the right friction. But it’s not enough. She wants more.

“I have a car,” He whispers.

He doesn’t even have to finish his sentence, she knows where this is going and hell yes, she wants it, fucking needs it, so she says, “Yes, please.”

With a last bruising kiss and a thrust of his huge Jurassic pork, Dean lets go of her, takes her hand and walks her to his car.

Dean opens the door and she climbs into the backseat while he spanks her ass. He gets in after her, manhandles her on top of him and she likes that, likes that he’s so rough with her.

Her knees rest on either side of his thigh on the seat, his hand on her ass as he helps her grind on his Pee-Wee. She kisses at his jaw, works her way down his throat, and slides down his body until she sits wedged between the front seat and him. Looking up at him she smiles, sees him looking at her with hungry eyes. She lowers her face then, licks over his bush whacker through his jeans and he groans, his hands fists in her hair.

Her fingers work on his belt buckle, tiny fingers pulling down his zipper. She hears a hiss when she pulls his pants down far enough to reveal his woody womb pecker, he’s not wearing underwear. He clearly went out with a to do list and she’s not entirely mad about it that she’s on it.

Dean’s huge tuna torpedo hits her in her face when she lowers his pants far enough and he helps her by lifting his ass a little.

She wraps her hand around the shaft of his meat scepter, her tongue darts out to lick at the tip. It’s already leaking, too, the taste of him strong on her tongue. Dean groans above her. And she smirks, feels proud that she can make him lose himself a little. She wraps her mouth around the tip of his creamy hunter, sucks in before she takes him further.

“Fuck,” He growls above her, “Your mouth feels so fucking good around my leather stretcher, baby.”

His praise goes right to her throbbing clit and she opens her mouth wider, takes his tonsil tickler deeper, so deep that it makes her gag and Dean growls louder above her, moaning out profanities.

“So good, baby, taking my atomic turtle so fucking deep,” He whispers and reaches out with both his hands, cradles her head with it, “Can I fuck your face, baby? Will you let me, huh? I wanna fuck my king dong into you, your mouth is so fucking perfect for it.”

She nods at him with teary eyes and Dean smiles brightly down at her.

“Keep your mouth open baby,” He coons, and starts to thrust his hips up, his rumpleforeskin hitting the back of her throat with every push.

He’s rough with her too, and she’s gagging around his Herman von Longschlongstein.

“Jesus, so good. Yeah, choke on my fucking tan banana, baby.”

She does, chokes and gags and coughs, and it’s messy, but also so fucking hot.

After a while Dean pulls her up and pulls her back onto his lap, his mouth seals around hers as he sucks his own taste from it. He parts and pants hard, “Fuck, I wanna feel your pussy around my bone ranger,”

His fingers find the crotch of her string, pulls it aside and Dean threads his fingers through her slick. She’s plenty wet from sucking him, there’s no question that she won’t be able to accommodate his yogurt slinger.

“Ride me,” He whispers as he probes the tip of his clam hammer against her pussy.

Slowly she sits down on his heat-seeking moisture missile, and moans out loudly when he bottoms out. Dean melts his mouth to hers when she starts to bounce on his Frank n’ Beans.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good around my womb raider,” He watches her bounce, his hands go underneath her shirt to knead at her tits, “You like that, huh? You like this blue veined aristocrat, baby?”

“Y-yeah,” She manages to say and Dean abandons her tits. One hand goes between her legs to rub at her clit while the other one grabs around her thighs to help keep her in place, “Dean, I—,”

“Come, baby, come on my mutton dagger,” Dean is panting, fucks up into her faster, he’s probably close, too, “I wanna feel you come all over my long dong silver.”

She comes loudly and wild, shaking all around him, her walls squeezing at his lap rocket, and Dean squeezes his eyes shut, comes with a low growl and pulls her close to him, kisses her hard and heavy.

“Fuck,” Dean groans when he comes down from his high, “You’re something else,”

She pecks his lips, his nose, his hips still grinding down on him lazily. His one-eyed trouser trout is hard again, or maybe it never really got soft, “I fucking love your purple helmet warrior of love, Dean.”

“Yeah?” He grins.

“Yeah.”

“Then fasten your seatbelt, you’re going on another ride on my gospel pipe, baby.”

#rhythm stick #dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester smut #dean winchester crack #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

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mountainplainspeaking · 3 years

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JELLO SHOT MASTER LIST *JAGER BOMB* boil 1 cup red bull (in place of water), add black cherry or orange jello, 1 cups jager. *MARGARITA* boil 1 cup water, add 3 oz pkg lime jello, 4 oz tequila, 4 oz sweet & sour margarita mix. sprinkle with salt just before firm. (substiture watermelon jello for lime for a melon margarita) *RUM & COKE* boil 1 cups coke, mix in dark cherry jello add 1 cups light rum *MIMOSAS* this one varies from the normal method Since champagne isn’t as strong as liquor, cut the water out of this one. boil one cup champagne, mix orange jello 2 min, add one more cup champagne and a splash of OJ. *SILK* Boil one cup champagne, mix in jello for 2 minutes, add one cup champagne and splash of lychee juice from the can. *ORANGE TIC TAC* Boil two cups red bull, mix jello two minutes, add two cups mandarin orange vodka *LEMON DROP* (boil 1 cup water, add lemon jello, citrus vodka, top with sugar sprinkles just before its fully set up) *GRAPE CRUSH* (boil 1 cups water, add grape jello, ½ cup plain vodka, ½ cup chambord) *HAWAIIAN* (boil 1 cup water, add pineapple or blueberry jello, 1 cup coconut rum) *GIN & TONIC* (boil 1 cup tonic water, add lime jello, 1 cup gin) *LEMON LIME* (boil 2 cups sprite, add lemon and lime jellos, 2 cups citrus vodka) *BLUEBERRY* (boil 1 cup water, add blueberry jello, 1 cup blueberry vodka) *FRUIT PUNCH* (boil 1 cups water, add mixed fruit jello, ½ cup blueberry vodka, ½ cup raspberry vodka) *WATERMELON* (boil 1 cup water, add watermelon jello,1 cup watermelon vodka) *BEER* (boil 1 cups water, add strawberry jello, add 1 cup any malt liquor) *CARIBBEAN* (boil 1 cup water, add strawberry-banana jello, Cruzan banana rum *CHERRY COLA* (boil 1 cup coke, add cherry jello, 1 cup cold cola, ½ cup amaretto, ½ cup spiced rum) *DREAMSICLE* (boil 1 1/3 cup water & 2/3 cup OJ, add orange jello, 1 cup vanilla vodka ½ cup raspberry or berry vodka, ½ cup KeKe Beach Key Lime Cream Liqueur) *LIME IN THE COCONUT* (boil 1 cup water, add watermelon jello, 1 cup Malibu Coconut Rum) *RED HOTS* (boil 2 cups water, add jello, ½ cup cold water, 2 cups Cinnamon Schnapps) *SEX ON THE BEACH* boil 1 cup cranberry juice, add 3 oz pkg orange jello, 3 oz peach schnapps, 5 oz vodka *SOUR APPLE* (in microwavable container, mix 1 small box sour apple jello, 1 pkg knox gelatin and 1 tbs sugar. Stir in 1 cup Mt. Dew and mix well. Microwave on high for 1 min. Stir until powder is dissolved. Mix 2 cups vodka & ¾ cup Captain Morgan Coconut Rum. mix well and let sit 1 min. pour into cups and refrigerate.) *SQUIRM* (boil 2 1/4 cup water, add 3 small pkgs any flavor jello, 2 cups vodka, ¾ cup ice cold water. add 1 gummy worm to each shot before firm. *CARIBOU LOU* (½ cup boiling water ½ cup pineapple juice boiled, add pineapple jello, ½ cup Malibu Rum, ½ cup Triplesec) *JOLLY RANCHER* (boil 1 cup water, add melon jello, ½ cup vodka, ½ cup apple pucker) *PURPLE PEOPLE EATER* (boil 1 cup water, add grape jello, ½ cup vodka, ½ cup watermelon pucker) *BAHAMA MAMA* (boil 1 cup water, add watermelon jello, ½ cup Malibu rum, ½ cup peach schnapps) *COSMOPOLITAN* (boil 1 cup water with a splash of lime juice, add cranberry jello, ½ cup vodka, ½ cup triple sec) *CHERRY BOMB* (boil 1 cup redbull, add cherry jello, 1 cup vodka and drop in one maraschino cherry, step up before firmed.) *BLUE FIRECRACKER* (boil 1 cup water, add berry blue jello, ½ cup vodka, ½ cup peach schnapps) *WHITE LIGHTNING* (boil 1 cup water, add pina colada jello, ½ cup vodka, ½ cup triple sec) *FUZZY NAVEL* (boil 1 cup water, add 3 oz orange jello, 2 oz vodka, 6 oz peach schnapps *RED HEADED SLUT* boil 1 cup water, add cranberry jello, ½ cup peach schnapps, ½ cup jager *MOJITO* (1 cup boiling water, 3 oz box lime jello, 6 oz white rum, 2 oz cold water. top with mint leaves chopped and crushed. (or substitue mint leaves with a splash of mint extract in the the boiling water.) *STRAWBERRY DAQUIRI* (boil 1 cup water, add 3 oz package wild strawberry jello, 6 oz white rum, 1 oz sweet & sour or margarita mix. *DEVILS KISS* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 envelope of Knox Gelatin and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, ½ cup of Goldschlager, and ¼ cup of Bacardi-151. Stir well and wait until the liquid has cooled before pouring into jello shot cups. if you double up the Knox Gelatin in this one you can eliminate the cup serve these up as jigglers!! *ANKLE BREAKER* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 envelope of Lime Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of 151 Rum, and ¼ cup of Cherry Brandy. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *FIRECRACKER 2* ¾ cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Orange Jello and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, 1/3 cup of Sloe Gin , and 1/3 cup of Spiced Rum and 1/3 cup of 151 Rum. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cup *KOMANIWANALAYA* 2 cups of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Pineapple Jello and 1 box of Cranberry Jello (both 3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1 cup of cold water, ½ cup of Amaretto, and ½ cup of 151 Rum. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *RAIN MAIN* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Orange Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, ½ cup of Bacardi 151, and ¼ cup of Melon Liqueur. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups *ADAM AND EVE* ¾ cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Lemon Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Brandy, and ¼ cup of Pomogranate Liqueur and ¼ cup of Gin. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *ALABAMA SLAMMER* ¾ cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Lemon Jello (3 oz) and stir until everything is completely dissolved and then add 1/3 cup of coldwater. Next, add 1/3 cup of Amaretto, ¼ cup of Southern Comfort, and 1/3 cup of Sloe Gin. Mix throuroughly until everything is well combined and the carefully pour into jello shot cups. Chill for 3 to 4 hours and serve. *ALL NIGHTER* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Cherry Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water and ½ cup of Watermelon Vodka. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *APPLE PIE* 1 1/2 cups ofboiling water. Dissolve 2 boxes of Lemon Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1 cup of cold water, ½ cup of Light Rum, ½ cup of Sweet Vermouth, ¼ cup of Apple Brandy and ¼ cup ofGrenadine. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *BANANA BOAT* 1 cup of water. Dissolve 1 box of Pineapple Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Coconut Rum , and ¼ cup of Banana Liqueur. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *BANANA SPLIT 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Strawberry Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Vodka, and ¼ cup ofBanana Liqueur and ¼ cup of Creme de Cacao. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *BAT OUT OF HELL* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Orange Jello (3 oz) and stir for at least 2 minutes until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of Red Bull, ¼ cup of Rumand ¼ Blue Curacao. Stir until well combined and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *BERMUDA TRIANGLE* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Orange Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Spiced Rum and ¼ cup of Peach Schnapps. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot *BLACK CAT* 1 cup of boilingwater. Dissolve 1 package of Raspberry Jello (3 oz) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, ½ cup of Black Vodka, and ¼ cup of Chambord. Stir well and wait until the liquid is about room temperature before pouring into jello shot cups. *BLACK WIDOW* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Grape Jello (3 oz) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, ¾ cup of Blackberry Vodka and 1/8 teaspoon of Ginger Powder. Stir well and cool slightly before pouring into jello shot cups. For a schnazzy garnish, drop a singleblackberry in each cup before chilling *COUGH DROP* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 3 oz package of Strawberry Jello and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ½ cup of Jagermeister. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *CRYPTINI* 1 cup of HotCoffee. Dissolve 1 envelope of Knox Gelatin and stir until fully dissolved. Add 1/3 cup of Iced Coffee, 1/3 cup of Vodka, and 1/3 cup of Kahlua. Stir well and wait until the liquid has cooled before pouring into jello shot cups. *FRENCH TICKLER* 1 cup of boilingwater. Dissolve 1 package of Orange Jello (3 oz) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Cinnamon Schnappsand ½ cup of Vodka. Stir well and wait until the liquid has a chance to cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *HARVEY WALLBANGER* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Orange Jello (3 oz) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, ½ cup of Vodka and ¼ cup ofGalliano. Stir well until completely combined and wait until the liquid has cooled before pouring into jello shot cups. *JUICY FRUIT* ¾ cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Pineapple Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, 1/3 cup of Vodka, and 1/3 cup ofMelon Liqueur and 1/3 cup of Peach Schnapps. Stir well and cool *JAGERMASTER* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Orange Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Jagermeister, and ¼ cup of Amaretto, and a just a splash of Grenadine. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *JAGERMONSTER* 1 cup of boiling water . Dissolve 1 package of Orange Jello and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water , ½ cup of Jagermeister, and ¼ cup of Grenadine. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *LETHAL INJECTION* 2 cups of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Orange Jello (3 oz) and 1 package ofPineapple Jello (3 oz) and stir at least 2 minutes until completely dissolved. Add 1 cup of cold water followed by ¼ cup of Amaretto, ¼ cup of Coconut Rum, ¼ cup of Dark Rum and ¼ cup of Spiced Rum. Stir well and wait until the liquid has cooled before pouring intojello shot cups. *LONG ISLAND ICED TEA* and measure 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 2 packages of Lemon Jello (3 oz) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of Cola and ½ cup of cold water. Now get ready to add the alcohol - ½ cup of Gin, ½ cup of LightRum, ½ cup of Vodka and ½ cup of Tequila. Stir until everything is well combined and let it cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *NINJA TURTLE* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Orange Jello and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Gin, and ¼ cup of Blue Curacao. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *PAIN KILLER* ¾ cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Pineapple Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¼ cup of cold water, 1/3 cup of Dark Rum, 1/3 cup ofCoconut Rum and 1/3 cup of Orange Liqueur. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *PIXIE STIX* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Lemon Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Southern Comfort, and ¼ cup of Blackberry Brandy. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *RED SILK PANTIES* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Cranberry Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Vodka, and ¼ cup ofPeach Schnapps. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *KINKY MALIBU BARBIE* Boil 1 cup water, add peach jello, ½ cup Kinky Liquer, ½ cup Malibu Coconut Rum. *KILLER KOOL AID* 1 1/2 cups of boiling water. Dissolve 2 boxes of Cranberry Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ¾ cup of cold water, ½ cup of Vodka, ½ cup of Gin, ¼ cup of Rum, ¼ cup of Chambord and ¼ cup of Triple Sec. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *BROKEN HEART* 1 cup of boiling water . Dissolve 1 package of of Orange Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Vodka, and ¼ cup of Chambord. Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *SCOOBY SNACKS* 1 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 box of Pineapple Jello (3 oz size) and stir until fully dissolved. Add ½ cup of cold water, ¼ cup of Melon Liqueur, and ¼ cup of Coconut Rum . Stir well and cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *TIJUANA TAXI* 2 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 2 packages ofLemon Jello (3 oz size) and stir at least 2 minutes until fully dissolved.Next, add 1 cup of cold water, ½ cup of Tequila, ¼ cup of Blue Caracao and ¼ cup of Tropical Fruit Schnapps. Stir until completely combined and give it a chance to cool before pouring into jello shot cups. *RUMMY BEARS* 1 cup boiling water, add any random flavor jello and 1 cup berry vodka, 1 gummy bear in the center of each shot. *WOOWOO* 2 cups boiling water, add 3 pkgs grape jello, 3 pkgs cranberry/raspberry jello, 3 pkgs strawberry jello, 3 cups vodka, 3 cups peach schnapps, 1 can grape juice concentrate and 1 can cran-raspberry juice concentrate (both undiluted!)

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imagine-loki · 4 years

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The Slutty Webs one Weaves

Title : The Slutty Webs one Weaves

Chapter NO. 5 of 10?

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki’s Asgardian wife learns women write fanfiction about him on a trip to Midgard. She’s edgy for the duration and lets him have it when they get back.

Author: lokilover9

Rating: M

Thor agreed Brianna going to Asgard a good idea as Loki presumed and shielded her from Heimdall's sight as a precautionary measure. Before leaving, the brother's sat observing Little Warrior lead Tony and Pepper to the couch and hand him a usb stick.

"What's this?" He asked.

"A computer virus. My revenge plan was to disembowel Jarvis if you hadn't kept your promise."

Stark eyed Loki who shrugged a shoulder. "Don't look at me. I only learned of it this morning."

"It's my creation, pretty nasty and should be destroyed." Said Brianna.

"How nasty?"

"It bears the potential to wipe out most of New York's power grids."

Tony was momentarily speechless. "I'll do that and am overjoyed you two became friends."

"Me too and sorry for being so rude when you touched my stuff."

"It's alright." Said Pepper.

"No it wasn't. You deserve to know why. Loki mentioned the homeless people right?"

"Yes."

"Dory was the first one I met. Taught me handy street smarts and helped shop for my boy clothes. Ran away from home because her moms boyfriend was a jerk. I encouraged her to call one day and when she learned they split up, convinced her to go home. Really smart person. Dreams of becoming an Astronaut. Anyway, she had a big crush on Captain America and gave me her favorite hat as a gift. Then I met Muriel. A mean looking older lady who was actually super sweet and protected me something fierce. Beat this guy up one night for trying to steal my blanket while cursing him sideways. She loved Chinese food and taught me self defence techniques, like how to poke a hole in someone's brain by shoving a chopstick up their nose."

Everyone's ears and attention piqued as Tony wondered if Muriel was a distant cousin of Sasquatch's. "Hopefully not on live subjects."

"No, silly. On a plastic skull she molded a face onto with clay. I paid for the supplies. Helping police identify people used to be her job in Arizona. Great way to kill zombies though. Best to behead them like with vampires and guarantee they've bit the bullet." Brianna then pulled a gold bracelet with a four leaf clover charm from her pocket. "Muriel was Irish and gave me this for good luck. It's too big so I carry it in my pocket. Before meeting you guys, they were the first people who were super nice to me. I fretted their gifts ruined in the wash."

"I'm sorry." Said Pepper.

"It's okay. I was just a little freaked."

'And nearly built a cave for the abominable snowman.' Thought Stark. "We were more worried about you after the fact."

"I could tell by your happy dance when I woke."

"Hey, badass did one too. In the hall. You didn't see."

Brianna giggled. "Thanks to you both for everything and I'm sorry for lying."

"Meh, we understand."

"I meant about not having a favorite Avenger. It's you uncle Cootyoodles. That's why I sought your help first. The Black Widow was my next stop."

Tony pictured Nat teaching her how to yank teeth out with pliers and felt twice as relieved for keeping that promise. "Nat's eccentric and hates zombies. I'm way more fun." Brianna suddenly hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. "Awe, Little Warrior. Friends forever?"

"Damn straight!" Then she did the same to Pepper. "I forgot to explain why you're a badass role model. Working so hard to become CEO of a massive company like Stark Industries and executing all that embodies? You rock! I hope to grow up as astute, diligent and athoritative. Maybe I'll run a company one day."

"You already possess those traits and will exceed my achievements."

No one knew that better than Loki who cleared his throat. "Grandmother and Grandfather go to bed early, Min Lille."

"One more minute, please?"

"Alright."

She studied Stark, pondering the best way to implement her request. "You don't have to do this, but… Not all homeless people are bad or crazy like others seem to believe. Many hit hard times and the world is so expensive, they couldn't keep up. No one I met lived on the streets because they wanted to. There just aren't enough shelters or resources available. You're rich Tony and could help them. Will you try?"

As Loki had succeeded with Frigga, those beautiful pleading eyes won her case. "You really know how to pull a guys heart strings, kid. I promise."

Loki wasn't aware she'd intended to ask this, yet was so proud of her. "Min Lille?"

"I know." She politely replied.

"You have to go." Tony suddenly stood and darted for the hall. "Be back in a jiffy."

"Meet him by the elevator, or you'll never leave." Suggested Pepper.

He returned and handed Loki a loaded Iron Man backpack. "More things? Shall I conjure a crate for the bifrost?"

They'd already given her an overstuffed suitcase of clothes and toys and Stark held a gift bag in hand. "Be quiet, you. It's a peanut butter stash. Does Asgard have bananas?"

"Yes." 'Thank the Norn's.'

Tony knelt before Brianna. "I would've packed some tater tots, but you ate them all again."

She smirked. "My goof."

"Rascal. Try to ignore a wee, bitty smidgen, you aren't into girly stuff? We couldn't help ourselves with you off to Asgard."

Brianna pulled from the bag a pink baseball cap that said Warrior Princess in tiny diamond gems and proudly adorned it. "You sure know how to pull a girls heart strings."

"I put some Motown CD's in there too. Teach Dad to moonwalk." Loki sighed, pushed the elevator button and Tony playfully whispered. "From a distance. In case he trips over his own big feet." He hugged her again and summoned Jarvis.

"Yes, sir?"

"Our friend is leaving."

"Goodbye, Little Warrior." Said the AI.

"Bye. Sending you a virtual hug."

She joined Thor inside while Loki shook hands with Tony, his expression saying everything. "Any time. Now get the 'bleep' out of my Tower before I thieve your Daughter."

Brianna shouted as it closed. "There's presents on your bed! I'll miss you!"

Peppers was a black t shirt with gold letters that read Badass Role Model and Tony's was a monsterous box filled with tater tots.

"Don't do it, Butch. If you cry, I'm gonna cry." ***** Loki had purposely slowed the elevator allowing her time to give Thor a drawing.

"Mjolnir in a field of flowers? Thank you fair maiden."

"It's a scratch n' sniff."

"A what?"

Loki picked up Brianna. "You scratch the flowers, then sniff them. The effect is most appealing the stronger you inhale."

Thor took a whiff and wriggled his nose. "Quite the nostril tickler. What should they smell like?"

"Try harder." 'Doofus.'

He took another, looked cross eyed at Loki and began swaying. "...Brother..you…" Then down he went striking the floor with a thud the tip of his nose covered in sparkly dust.

"Sorry, uncle Thor."

Loki chuckled at her wince. "The spell is mild and shall soon wear off."

"Is he hurt?"

Loki let her down to hurle the hefty Thor over his shoulder. "Us God's are resilient. Your uncle once endured a skirmish with the Hulk." After escorting them through a portal and delivering Brother oaf to his bed, he lead Brianna through a second into some woods.

"That was awesome! Will you teach me how to do it?"

"Not in the near future. It's very complicated, darling and I'd hate to think you lost in another dimension." 'Or vanishing one day as an angry teen with a troublesome suitor I dream of throttling.'

"Okay." Brianna nervously scanned the area. "Now what? Carnivores hunt these woods."

"Northern Alberta is home to many. Never go outside without me and none will harm you."

"But wolves hunt in packs and grizzlies are bigger than you."

He booped her little nose. "I'll smell them before they smell us and neither possess deadly weapons in interdimensional pockets."

"Where our luggage is? I tried hiding bigger items in them and the darn things wouldn't come back. Hannah was furious, but I didn't care."

"What did you hide?"

"The back wheels of her Lamborghini, Gallardo. I overheard my Mother tell Claudia she got it from her rich boyfriend."

Loki recalled from spending time with Stark this wasn't a billionaire's vehicle, yet financially unattainable to the average Midgardian. "I see. Did she mention his occupation?"

"Plastic surgeon."

Brianna deserved that minor victory and although he wouldn't encourage it, one cannot preach vengeance a negative path when mapping their own. 'Perhaps he'll be useful to the sluts after I'm done.' "Ah. Care to see what I did while you slept last night?"

"You left me?" She confusedly asked.

He picked her up again. "It was necessary and I returned, yes? I won't abandon you, Og Min Lille."

"Never?"

"Never, darling. "Loki headed for a shack nearby nestled amidst some bushes. With its crooked roof, faded wood and door minus a hinge the structure looked ready to collapse.

"We're staying there?"

"Why not? I'll conjure an outdoor toilet." He teased. "Sheltered of course."

"Ewww."

"Come now. At night we'll have heated beds and during the day, roast squirrels on an open fire."

She scrunched her face in disgust. "Blech! I'd rather eat tree bark."

"You'll get an awful tummy ache."

They entered the dingy space and Brianna instantly focused on the filthy floor covered in forest debris. So intently, she didn't notice the sturdier frames of the structure only visible from within. "How will we keep the door closed and is that poop?"

Loki rolled his eyes at some turds in a corner. "The cabin is made of Brazilian Ebony."

"One of the strongest woods on earth." She commented.

He arched an intrugued brow. "Stained to appear aged, it's also bulletproof in light of human hunters. Consider the other materials deceiving movie props. The 'raccoon' poop is genuine." It vanished with a wave of his hand. "Now, did you mean that door?" It closed and he conjured a deadbolt onto the surface with a panel directly above. "Place your hand in the center?" Brianna did and it glowed green, spreading magic from the center throughout every surface like glowing, emerald fireflies. As they dimmed, Loki turned around. "Or this one?" The floor, suddenly cleared of debris had a sliding glass door in the center.

Brianna gasped in wonder, glancing between him and the mystery beneath. "Where does it go?"

"Did you think a sorcerer Prince would allow his Princess daughter to dwell in a shabby old shack?"

"Ancestry aside, I sincerely hoped not. Even an RV would've been better."

He chuckled at her frankness. "And you worried of uncle Thor bumping his head? The shacks purpose was added safety should a need arise and to keep our secret entrance hidden. "Once the outer door locks, only the interior alters. To outsiders, nothing changes." It opened and he carried her down a mutedly lit spiral staircase, each step progressively illuminating the space below.

At the bottom, she slid from his arm in awe. "Shut the front door! You 'definitely' have to teach me how to do this."

Min Lille was referencing conjuring. Another ability Loki thanked the Norns she didn't yet possess, having confessed so before requesting Tony and Pepper's gifts. "In time. Beyond that archway, another surprise awaits." Loki followed and suddenly pondered Brianna conjuring a future dwelling for herself and that troublesome suitor. 'Lessons commence when your forty.' ***** Thor woke to find two notes in his shirt pocket. One for himself the other, Astrid; 'Sleep well, Brother? We won't be returning to Asgard just yet. Please give this to my wife? I recommend waiting several days, discreet delivery and a hasty exit. A visit will follow and when interrogated, lie. Tell her Brianna came to you and don't mention her ice concoction. Unless you enjoy Father's company when several fries short of a happy meal. As I planned our escape without Tony's knowledge, do avoid his unnecessary panic and Pepper seeking our demise, by not telling our dear friend? Min Lille is safe.'

"That shyster." He grumbled. Jane returned in six days as would Astrid to a missing Loki. Waiting risked a molotov cocktail interrogation. His beloved and coronary inducing sister-in-law, banging down their locked bathroom door while the mighty Thor coward behind a shower curtain. Plus Maxi Waxis training schedule ended in two days. Bribery assured those lips zippered, but Heimdall would think his hastiness suspicious. He called to the trainee in the middle of the night, snuck into the palace and raced back to the observatory like the looney tunes road runner. "Spend it well nincompoo..eh he, Max. Asgard is lucky to have you."

Guilt ridden over her outburst and already missing Loki, Astrid returned in the morning to find the note.

Frigga was preparing to join her belly dancing instructor when she barged into the foyer and flung herself at the Allmother.

"Bwaaahahaa! I want a divorce!"

"Hells bells and bilgesnipe testicles. What has my shameless son done this time?"

"Frigga, your language." Scolded Odin.

She patted Astrid's back. "Oh shush. As if your cursing hasn't scarred the servants ears."

#Loki #others #submission #Submitted fic #The Slutty Webs one Weaves #lokilover9 #chapter 5

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conarcoin · 1 year

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+800 Nicknames for Penis: A Comprehensive List for Different Ways to Call a Penis

GIGGELI

Dicks can be referred to in a variety of ways. A collection of more than 800 additional words for the penis in alphabetical order is provided in this article. This list includes both common slang terminology and more uncommon and obscure words that are all related to the penis.

+800 Different Words for Penis: A Comprehensive List

Anaconda

Antenna

Appendage

Armadillo

Arrow

Baby maker

Baguette

Bald Avenger

Bald-headed giggle stick

Bally Wacker

Banana

Banger

Baseball bat

Baton

Bayonet

Beast

Beef bayonet

Beef whistle

Bellend

Big boy

Big guy

Biscuit

Bishop

Black mamba

Blastocyst

Blood sausage

Blue-veined custard chucker

Blue-veined junket pumper

Boaby

Bobbin

Bollocks

Bologna pony

Bolt

Bone

Boner

Booboo

Boom stick

Boot

Bopper

Botswana beef bayonet

Bouncer

Bouncing Betty

Braciole

Brain

Branch

Bratwurst

Broccoli

Broccoli spear

Brown trout

Brownie

Brutus and the Twins

Bubble

Bubble gum machine

Buckaroo

Buckwheat

Buddah's belly button

Buffalo soldier

Bulge

Bull

Bull's-eye

Bully beef

Bully stick

Bum tickler

Bumper

Burrito

Buster

Butt dart

Butterbean

Button

Caber

Cabeza

Cactus

Cadbury's c

Cajones

Camel toe

Cane

Cannoli

Captain winky

Capuchin

Carrot

Cervix sentinel

Chameleon

Champignon

Cheese log

Cheesestick

Chef's special

Cherub

Chicken

Chico stick

Choad

Chode

Chopper

Chowder

Christmas goose

Chub

Chubby

Chuck Dickens

Cigar

Cinnamon roll

Clam

Classic

Clit stick

Cloak

Clock

Club

Cobra

Cock

Cod

Colossus

Commander

Cone

Conga

Conquistador

Consolation prize

Corkscrew

Corn dog

Cornholio

Cornish game hen

Corporal

Cossack

Cougar bait

Coxcomb

Crank

Crankshaft

Creamer

Crimper

Crimson mushroom

Crinkle-cut

Crown jewels

Crunchwrap

Crème de la crème

Cucumber

Cummerbund

Custard launcher

Cylinder

D's

Dagger

Dallas Dangler

Danger noodle

Darth Vader

Deep sea diver

Dick

Dickas Hilton

Ding dong

Ding-dong

Dingaling

Dipstick

Disco stick

Dismount

Divining rod

Dog

Doggy

Dolly

Dong

Donkey

Doorknob

Dope stick

Dork

Dormouse

Double barrel

Double dragon

Downstairs department

Drainpipe

Driller

Drumstick

Dude piston

Dumb stick

Dutch courage

Dutch rudder

Excalibur

Firehose

Franks and beans

Gerald

Gherkin

Giggeli

Goldfinger

Groin

Hammer

hammer of love

Hammer of Thor

handle

hard drive

Hard-on

hardware

hatchet wound

he-man

heat-seeking missile

heat-seeking moisture missile

helmet

herbie

Hercules

high hard one

hoo-ha

hoo-hoo

hook

horn

Hose

hose

hot dog

hot rod

hot sausage

Humphrey

hymie

iceberg

Indiana Bones

Jack in the box

Jack's magic beanstalk

Jackhammer

jammy

janitor in the hallway

java

javelin

jawbreaker

Jedi

Jefferson

jelly doughnut

Jenny Craig

Jerry

jiffy stick

Jimmy

Jizz Launcher

John Henry

John Johnson

Johnson

Jorma

Joy-stick

Joystick

joystick

Judge

Juicy fruit

jumbo

Jumper

Junior

Junk

junk

justin

Justus

Kaiser

kebab

Keck

Kennedy

kielbasa

King Ding Dong

King Kong

King Richard

King size

King snake

King's scepter

King's sword

Kipper

Kitty

Knob

Knobgoblin

Knobhead

Knobkerrie

Knobstick

Kraken

Krull the Warrior King

Kulli

Kyrpä

L'Engin

L'Outil

L'Unita

Lady-pleaser

Laidy's lollypop

Lance

Lancer

Lava flow

Leader

Leaky faucet

Leatherman

Lechon

Leek

Leg

Leg of lamb

Leg of mutton

Leggy

Lemon

Lemondrop

Length

Lengthy

Leo

Leosaurus

Leper

Leroy

Leviathan

Libido

Lick

Lickety-split

Lighthouse

Lightning rod

Lil' bro

Lil' willy

Lily

Lima

Limber dick

Limber jimmy

Limbo

Limousine

Limp biscuit

Limp noodle

Limp penis

Limp-dick

Limp-jim

Limpkin

Lincoln

Lindy

Lingam

Link

Linty

Lion

Lipstick

Liquidator

Liquor stick

Lissome

Little birdie

Little bro

Little chap

Little guy

Little head

Little john

Little man

Little peter

Little soldier

Little willy

Lizard

Lizard tongue

Locomotive

Log

Lollipop

Long Dong Silver

Long dong silver

Long fellow

Long john

Long johnson

Long one

Long stick

Longfellow

Longfellow diller

Longhorn

Longie

Longjohn

Longshanks

Longstaff

Magic Mike

Magic stick

Magic Wand

Magic wand

Manhood

Meat Scepter

Meat stick

Member

Micropenis

Mini-me

Missile

Moby Dick

Mojo

Monster

Mount Vesuvius

Mr. Happy

Mr. Winky

Mule

Mushroom

Mushroom Head

Mutton

Myrtle

Nard

Nether rod

One-eye Pete

One-Eyed Monster

One-eyed monster

One-Eyed Snake

One-eyed trouser snake

One-eyed wonder weasel

Organ

Package

Packer

Packing heat

Pecker

Pee-Pee

Pee-pee

Peen

Pencil

Pencil dick

Penile appendage

Penile shaft

Penile tissue

Penile unit

Penile weapon

Penis

Pepperoncini

Peter

Phallos

Phallus

Piece

Pink Oboe

Pintle

Pipe

Pistol

Piston

Pleasure Stick

Plonker

Pocket Rocket

Pogo stick

Poker

Pole

Popcorn

Pork Sword

Prick

Private

Private part

Purple-headed yogurt slinger

Purple-helmeted trouser snake

Purple-Helmeted Warrior of Love

Purple-helmeted warrior of love

Purple-helmeted yogurt thrower

Python

Quiver bone

Ramrod

Ranger

Rascal

Red-capped mushroom

Rod

Root of Jesse

Rude boy

Sausage

Scepter

Schlong

Schwanz

Schwanzstucker

Schwetty balls

Scooby Snack

Screwdriver

Scrod

Scrotum

Sea monster

Secret weapon

Shaft

Shillelagh

Shiv

Shlong

Skin Flute

Skin flute

Skinner

Slingblade

Slug

Slugger

Smacker

Snake

Snapper

Soldier

Spam javelin

Spear

Speed Bump

Speedboat

Spigot

Spigot of love

Spitstick

Spitter

Sponge

Spongebob

Sprout

Spunk gun

Spurt gun

Squirt gun

Staff

Stallion

Stand

Stand up

Starfruit

Stick

Stiffie

Stiffy

Stinger

Stock

Stone

Stone of David

Stonehenge

Stonker

Stopper

Striker

Stud

Stump

Submarine

Sugar stick

Super soaker

Supercock

Surfboard

Swamp lizard

Swansong

Sweetmeat

Swiss Army Penis

Swizzle stick

Sword

Tabasco

Tadger

Tail

Tall tommy

tally

Tallywacker

tallywhacker

Tang

Tank

tapa

Tassle

Tasty pastry

tater

Tazmanian devil

Tea and crumpets

Tea stick

Telescoping tower

Tent peg

Testicle

Testicles

testicular tissue

testiculi

testies

testons

testosterbone

The anaconda

The baton

The big guy

the big vein

the bishop

The blue-veined custard chucker

The chopper

The cone

the conga

The cyclops

The ding dong

The Dipstick

The dong

The driver

The dude piston

the eye of the needle

the family jewels

the flagpole

The flesh flute

The flesh rocket

the fleshy tripod

the fuck stick

the fun rod

The grower

the head

The heat-seeking moisture missile

the hose

The joystick

the King

The knob

the little man in the boat

The love muscle

the magic wand

the main vein

The male member

the man in the boat

The meat whistle

the member

The middle leg

The mighty mite

the old boy

The old man

The one-eyed captain

The one-eyed monster

the one-eyed snake

The one-eyed wonder worm

The package

The peen

The peeper

the pendulum

the peter

The pink cigar

the pink oboe

The pipe

the piston

the pleasure pole

The poker

The pole

the pork sword

the prick

The purple-helmeted warrior

the purple-helmeted warrior of love

The python

The rocket

The rod

The salami

The sausage

The schlong

the scoop

The shaft

The shotgun

The skin flute

The snake

the spitter

the staff of life

the stick

The stiff one

The stinger

the stonker

the sword

The third leg

The tool

The trouser snake

The tube steak

the unit

The wang

the weasel

The wedge

the wee-wee

The weenie

The whopper

The wiener

The wiggle stick

the willy

the wingwang

The womb raider

The wonder worm

The woody

the worm

thingy

Third Leg

Third leg

Thorn

Thrill drill

Throb knob

throbber

Throbbing gristle

Thumper

Thunderbird

Thunderbolt

Thunderstick

Tic Tac

Tickle pickle

Tickler

Tiger

Tiki

Timber

Time machine

Tingler

Tinker

Tinkerbell

tip

Tip drill

Tip of the iceberg

Tipper

Tissue

Titan

Toad

toadstool

todger

Toe

Tool

tooly

tooter

Toothpick

Tootsie roll

Top gun

Torch

Tower

Tower of power

tractor beam

Trafalgar

Treasure

Tree trunk

Tri-pod

Trinket

Trombone

Trouser Snake

Trousersnake

Trumpet

Truncheon

Trunk

Tuba

tube

Tummy banana

Tuna Can

Tuna can

Tuna torpedo

Turgid Trouser Snake

Turgid turtle

turkey

Turkey baster

Turkey neck

Turnip

turtle

Turtleneck

Tusk

twanger

Twig

Twig and Berries

Twig and berries

Twinkie

twinky

Twister

Two ball cane

Two veg and meat

Two-legged Boa

Two-legged tripod

twonker

Umbrella handle

Uncircumcised wonder

Uncle

Uncle Dick

Uncle John

Unit

unmentionables

Uzi

Vainilla

Vainilla Stick

Valiant vein

Veggie

vein

Vein train

Vein train.

Vein-cutter

Vein-erect

Veined custard launcher

VeinMaster 3000

Veiny Victor

Veinzilla

Velvet sword

Vessel

Vienna Sausage

Viking horn

Viking Staff

Vindicator

Vinegar

Violin

Virility

Vixen

Vodka

Volcano

Wally

Wand

wand of light

Wang

wang dang doodle

Wanger

wangle

Wangsta

Wanker

wankie

War club

Warrior

Weapon

Weapon of ass destruction

Weapon of mass destruction

Weapon of Mass Seduction

Wedge

Wee-wee

weenie

weewee

Weiner

wenis

wet noodle

Whacker

Whammer

Whang

Whangdoodle

wheenie

Whip

Whistle

White gold

White Mamba

Whoopie Stick

whopper jr.

widget

Wiener

Wiener Schnitzel

Wiggle stick

wiggle worm

Wiggler

Wiggly

William

Willow

Willpower

Willy

Willy the one-eyed wonder worm

willy wonka

Wing wong

wing-wang

Wingman

Winkie

Winky

Winnebago

Winner

Winston

Winston Churchill

Wintermelon

Wisdom Wand

Wise man

Wishbone

wizard sleeve

Wonder Worm

Wood

Woodpecker

Woody

Worm

Wormhole

wormy

Wrecking ball

Wriggler

Wriggly

Wrinkle

wrinklepump

Wrist Rocket

Wyvern

X-factor

Xylophone

Yad

Yak

Yam

yam

Yam bag

Yams

Yang

Yankee doodle

Yard

Yardstick

Yawing Yowie

Yearling

Yellow

Yellow Belly

Yellow Dart

Yellow dragon

Yellow Peril

Yellow Sausage

Yellow submarine

Yen

Yew

Ygdrasil's staff

Yin-yang serpent

yingyang

Yippie

Yipsicle

Yo-yo

Yob

yobbo

Yoda

Yoga stick

Yoghurt Cannon

Yoghurt gun

Yoghurt pistol

Yogurt

Yogurt hose

Yogurt Slinger

Yogurt slinger

Yogurt thrower

Yolk

Yolkstick

Yolky poke

Yoni

yoni stick

Youth

Yoyo

Yuca

Yule log

Yum yum

Yum-yum

Yummy

Zapper

Zealot

Zebedee

Zebracorn horn

zebu

Zen

Zephyr

Zeppelin

Zesty Italian

Zeus

ziggurat

Zigzag

Zilla

Zinger

Zipper

Zipper Ripper

Zipper snake

Zippy

ziz

Zog

zombie

Zombie maker

Zombie stick

Zonker

Zoom Stick

Zoombini

Zoomer

Zoot stick

Zorro

Zucchini

Zygmunt Freud

Zygote poker

Zygotene

dude?

#long post #penis anon

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franklyshipping · 4 years

Text

Day 6 ~ Christmas 2019 Ego Fanfics

Whew, Day 6 here we are! Now, i think it's time to see what happens to cheeky seers who cheat at board games, LET'S DO THIS!

TAGGING: @thehostofleetrature

Who doesn’t love playing board games and getting competitive as hell with their nearest and dearest? I know I frickin love it. Forget tables and chairs, you know it only works when you’re half-lying down on the carpet or a rug in your living room. You’ve got your drink somewhere precarious, the board game board on top of the biggest encyclopaedia you’ve got so it’s on a flat surface. You’ve got cramp in like three places, you can never get comfy in whatever position you’re in, and yet you’ll end up playing whatever game you’re playing for hours and hours. That’s how it goes, and that’s why we love it, the egos included.

Right now, the game afoot was Cluedo, a great game of detection and deduction and intelligence….so it should come as no surprise that the players were the Host and Abe the Detective. It was Abe’s turn to roll the die, move his character to a room, and make a deduction…however the detective was distracted.

‘Oh for go-give me my vape back darnit!’

The Host was hiding his mirth behind his hand as Abe, for the fourth time, engaged in a tug of war with Gooper….over his vape. Gooper grunted and let out strained gurgles, resolutely holding onto the device as Abe sighed.

‘No! For the last time you can’t use it to play mini billiards with mini Bing!’

Abe tugged it from Gooper’s grip with a light frown…which turned into a greater frown when Gooper started to whimper and tremble. Shit.

‘N-Nononono heyyy hey don’t get upset, shit fuck, uhh….’

The last thing the detective wanted was to deprive Gooper of his own games, if anyone deserved to have all the fun in the world then it was Gooper, so Abe was frantically trying to think of something else he could give him as a cue before Gooper got too upset. The Host cocked his head at the detective with a fond smile, he really admired him for his kindness and sweetness underneath all his wild innuendo-filled drama.

‘Uhh, fuck ah-AHA!’

Abe went from scratching his head to breaking out into a large grin, which made the dejected Gooper jump and gurgle curiously. Abe fished about in the inside pocket of his nearby coat, and brought out one of his older pipes, offering it to Gooper (after making sure it was clean and clear of any contents).

‘Would this work buddy?’

Gooper shuffled over to the pipe Abe offered curiously, then squealed in delight because it was perfect! The thicker end would weigh it down on the mini billiards table which meant there would be a lower probability of him making any miss-hits! Gooper gurgled happily and nuzzled Abe’s fingertips, which made the detective chuckle and give the glob a fond tickle.

‘Yeah, yeah I love ya too, now scram go on!’

Gooper squealed happily once more before rolling off with the pipe, which spurred Abe to sigh fondly; however his attention quickly came back to his board-game partner when the Host let out a less-muffled laugh. Abe raised his eyebrows at him as he picked up the die and shook them about in his hand.

‘Amusing you am I Host?’

The Host grinned and mused.

‘I am simply admiring your more tender side, detective.’

Abe pursed his lips as he rolled the die and moved his player, but he couldn’t deny that he very much enjoyed hanging out with the Host; he carried so much sass and wit that it made for the most excellent conversations of banter between the two men. Abe went about his turn and crossed off two more things off of his ample list…but then when the Host made his turn, he made quite the declaration.

‘I am ready to make my guess.’

Abe’s eyebrows flew up, and he exclaimed with great incredulity.

‘….but it’s only your third damn roll?!’

The Host smiled softly.

‘Nevertheless, I am ready.’

Abe let out a disbelieving laugh, but nevertheless nodded for the Host to continue. The Host cleared his throat softly.

‘It is my belief, that the murder was committed by Antisepticeye, in the greenhouse, with the loaf of banana bread.’

Yes, the egos did have their own version of Cluedo, don’t ask. Abe initially snorted at the combination, before sighing and opening the envelope….and his eyes widened.

‘You….y-you’re correct…but…but how?’

The Host subtly smirked.

‘Now that would be telling. I believe that makes it three games to me and none to you.’

Abe let out a huff, giving the man a light glare as the Host leisurely shuffled to the side so he could take a sip of his drink. Abe was confounded, there was NO logical way in which he could have known the answer, there was only two of them playing PLUS it had only been his third roll, this was his fastest win yet! Abe had to know, he HAD to know how he was doing it. The detective spied the Host’s note paper with all the options written on it…and snatched it up on a whim.

‘…..you little SHIT!’

The Host jumped, then paled when he perceived Abe holding his game paper. Nothing had even been crossed off, which gave Abe the realisation that the Host had only been pretending to play, and that he’d been using his damned third eye to cheat to see the solutions! Abe lightly growled from the back of his throat as the Host gulped, developing a nervous smile.

‘A-Ahh…uh…I-I can explain…’

Abe scoffed and raised an eyebrow, very much inviting the Host to elaborate upon his reasoning for cheating….but then the Host decided to just try and bolt the hell out of there! Abe was NOT having that!’

‘OH NO YA DON’T!’

The Host let out a yelp when he felt hands latch onto his shins and yank him back towards the detective, making the game board, pieces and pieces of paper fly about as Abe pinned Host to the ground on his back, straddling him as he glared down at him.

‘You CHEATED!’

‘Y-Yes I cheated, b-but only f-for that third round, I simply wanted to see what your reaction would be t-to uh…t-to a quick loss….’

Abe growled down at him, but it without malice, Abe was frankly impressed that Host had kept his composure as he’d carried out the cheating. However….Abe felt that something wasn’t right, like there was something he was missing.

‘Is that quite so?’

He mused, which spurred the Host to nod…oh he hoped Abe would believe him; the truth was, he’d cheated all the way through because the Host was damn competitive and had maaaybe seen that in all the futures where he DIDN’T cheat….Abe would have beaten him every time. The Host knew he wouldn’t have been able to live it down. The Host gulped lightly when he sensed Abe suddenly develop a grin.

‘Hey Host, ya wanna know something?’

The Host tensed nervously.

‘…wh-what?’

Abe’s grin morphed into a smirk as he leant down to whisper.

‘Wilford’s mind isn’t the only one I can see into.’

Abe felt the Host gasp beneath him, and the detective let out a warm chuckle. Of course, Abe really made a habit of not going into people’s heads without their consent, especially since he had much better control over his ability, but in times like these when cheaters roam the couches, you have to forgo courtesy. The Host was silent with shock as Abe whispered a little more.

‘Now ah, with your mental sight and all, I think you know what’s comin’ now, don’tcha?’

The Host’s cheeks flushed pink as he glimpsed his oncoming future….and it was filled with lots, and lots of laughter. Abe chuckled when he saw the Host’s blush, and teasingly stroked down the man’s cheek and jaw.

‘Ahaaww, so blushy already!’

The Host developed a wobbly smile, which soon released a few high-pitched giggles when Abe’s finger ventured under his chin.

‘Shuhut ihihit!’

Abe raised an eyebrow, before using a single finger to scratch under the Host’s chin as he cooed teasingly.

‘Ohoho is someone ticklish under their chinny chin chin?’

The Host spluttered and tossed his head from side to side, but that teasy, tickling finger just didn’t want to relent. The Host’s blush darkened as he tried to push Abe away, smiling an embarrassed smile because honestly it was just so easy to fluster the sweet guy.

‘N-Nohohoho s-s-stahahap!’

Abe chuckled, keeping up the scratching with ease since the Host’s weak pushes did nothing to hinder the strapping detective. Abe was very much enjoying himself, especially because it was the Host that he was tickling. Abe loved people’s ticklishness in general, but especially when it was someone who was more closeted and reclused, because it made their mirth all the more rewarding when you coaxed it out of them.

‘Oh but I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson quite yet….’

Abe mused, which made the Host splutter and giggle harder as his reply came out in babbles.

‘Ihihi hahave Ihi hahahave Ihi swehear!’

The Host felt like there were flames on his cheeks from how flustered Abe was making him. The dashing detective was pretty blush inducing and flustery in daily life, but the Host hadn’t fathomed how evil he could be as a tickler. He shoved at Abe’s chest desperately as tickly tingles started spreading all the way down his neck and up to his ears, because it was going to take a lot more than some giggly babbles to get the detective to have mercy.

‘I dunno….I’ve just got this lil nigglin’ feelin’ that you’re not as remorseful as you’re makin’ out…’

The Host let out a light, nervous whine as Abe dragged his hand down his chest at an achingly slow pace, before letting his fingers drum teasingly over the Host’s tummy. The Host trembled, letting out streams of titters as he gripped Abe by his shirt desperately.

‘P-Plehehease! I-I d-dohohon’t deheserve thihihis!’

That made Abe gasp and scoff, before throwing teasing out the window and vibrating his fingers into the Host’s belly mercilessly.

‘Don’t deserve this?! You CHEATED! And you’re saying you don’t deserve to be punished for what you’ve done?!’

The Host let out a howl before descending into high pitched laughter, arching his back as he flailed and thrashed desperately underneath the ruthless detective. Needless to say, he was a) regretting his choice of words, and b) he was generally regretting his actions over the past few hours.

‘NAHAHA THAHAT’S NAHAT WHAHAT I MEHEANT!’

He cried, but he knew internally that he’d unlocked Abe’s wrath, and it was going to take a lot before he got any relief from the tickles. The detective narrowed his eyes down at the Host, letting out a playful growl as he scratched and scribbled over the Host’s wonderfully thin t-shirt.

‘Well it sure SOUNDS like it’s what you meant! Seems like you need a bit of an attitude adjustment mister….’

Abe sneered as the Host cackled and let out peals of mirth, the detective couldn’t deny that he was enjoying letting out his more sadistic side onto the Host; even though he was a patron of goodness and justice, he did like the odd hint of malevolence every now and then. The Host meanwhile tried to push at Abe’s hand, because his stomach was a damn ticklish place and Abe was frighteningly good at what he was doing.

‘NOHOHOHAHA PLEHEHEASE! DOHON’T TIHICKLE MY TUHUHUMMY!’

Abe snickered, and pinned the Host’s flapping hands against his chest with his free hand as he kept up the wild belly tickling.

‘Awww, but your tummy seems like such a good tickle torture spot!’

Abe crooned down at the mirthful man, chuckling fondly with gleaming eyes as he watched the Host’s cheeks visibly darken at the teasing whilst he wailed.

‘BUHUT IHIHIT IHIS TOHOHORTURE!’

Host had his head thrown back as he tried to tug at his hands, but failed thanks to Abe’s determined strength. The detective smirked down at the Host, and leant down next to his ear, letting his scratchy beard brush against his neck as he whispered in his low, gravelly tone.

‘Good….because that is precisely what you deserve.’

The Host trembled as chills shot down his spine, before he let out a particularly dramatic squeal….because the damn detective had decided to step it up even further, by targeting his bare tummy.

‘PLEHEHEASE AHAHABE!!’

Abe thought it was so precious how the Host’s laughter shot up so many octaves so quickly, and happily pushed up the man’s t-shirt so he could spider over and squeeze the Host’s pale, soft stomach more easily. Abe cast his gaze over the tummy before him, and couldn’t help but be struck by how perfect it was; Abe also felt that it was his duty, despite his role as tickle torturer, to at the very least give compliments when they were due.

‘Y’know I’ve come across many a beautiful, ticklish tumtum in my time, but this is just off the scale-…hey wait a sec…what have we got here?’

Abe furrowed his eyebrows with a sudden curiosity when he spotted something that strongly contrasted against the paleness of Host’s belly, and it made him halt the tickling for a moment as a result too. The Host was confused for a second, but soon gasped when he felt Abe’s thumb softly graze the area under his navel, where his incredibly dark happy trail of hair lay.

‘….i-it….i-ihit’s j-just my happy trail….’

The Host stuttered, which made Abe smile fondly as he observed the black trail of hair going from the Host’s navel all the way down to his waist. The hair was so soft too, and once again Abe found that it was simply too beautiful not to comment on.

‘Just your happy trail? It looks like a pretty cute happy trail to me! And I don’t say that about every happy trail, I can tell you that!’

The Host developed a wobbly, bashful smile at Abe’s sweet exclamation. Obviously the Host received many sweet and loving compliments on his physical features from his lovers, but to hear such words from a friend warmed his heart just as fully. The Host was about to mumble a happy thank you to the detective…but then Abe’s thumb stroked the area just a little too hard….and the Host squealed. Loudly.

‘Ohhhh….a little sensitive here too huh?’

Abe crooned with a growing smirk, chuckling as the Host really started to tremble and grin, his words coming out more frantically than the detective had ever heard from him before.

‘N-Noho w-wait Abe listen y-you have to listen I-I-I am v-very sensitive there please do-EEK!’

As you can imagine, Abe absolutely did not listen to the Host and used the blunt nail of his pointer finger to trace and swirl up and down the trail teasingly. Abe personally adored tickle spots like this, when less was more in terms of the tickling and the lightest sensation was enough to cause maximum mirth.

‘Well I never, this is a tickle spot and a half! Coochie coochie cooo!’

The Host was in absolute ticklish, flustered agony from the detective’s evil tickling technique. This gentle, simple tickle alone was enough to send the normally reserved Host, into sweet, squealing hysterics.

‘AHAHAHA YOHOHOU’RE EHEHEVIL!!’

Abe smirked and chuckled at that, feeling rather happy at his tickle-victim’s statement since it gave him a) the opportunity to be dramatic, and b) the opportunity to be even more malevolent with his teasing.

‘Why not at all sir! I’m merely a citizen exercising his civic duty, doling out justice where it’s due! Unless…you think we should get someone else’s judgement in this case? I hear Silver Shepherd insists upon justice in all things, and we’ve all heard tales of Yandere’s judgement and brutality….’

Now we have reached the point where the Host became more blush than human. The very thought of Abe telling Silver and Yandere what he’d done was too scary to fathom, because the Host knew that they wouldn’t hesitate in helping with the detective’s endeavour. They knew all his spots, all the teases that made him incoherent; he was shuddering at the mere thought for what would be in store if they found out.

‘NOHOHOHO NONONOHO D-D-DOHON’T TEHELL SIHIHILVY OHOR YAHANNY!!!’

Abe let out a soft, amused laugh at the Host’s very wild desperation, throwing his head back a tad amidst his own mirth because honestly the Host was almost too cute to handle. Abe hummed as he scratched little light circles into the Host’s happy trail, musing in reply.

‘Oho? Well, I could maaaybe be persuaded to keep this little incident between ourselves, but only if you swear on engaging only in good, honest gamesmanship from here on out!’

The Host nodded frantically and immediately.

‘IHIHI PROHOHOMIHISE!!!’

Abe snickered with smug satisfaction, before having mercy and releasing the Host’s wrists from his grip, and he grinned fondly as the Host weakly pushed him off of him. Abe slid off the Host and watched as the man curled up into a foetal position, noticeably rubbing his happy trail as he panted and giggled residually.

‘Oho….gohod….fuhuck mehe….’

The Host was, in fact, shook. He had to take a few moments to rub away the seemingly endless amount of ghost tickles that had accumulated at all of his nerve endings. Abe meanwhile, couldn’t help but play off of the Host’s words cheekily.

‘That’s a bit of a greedy request don’t you think? Especially since you’re already part of a polyamo-‘

‘Bihite me!’

The Host spluttered and exclaimed, rubbing the back of his neck out of embarrassment as he pursed his lips at the detective, but Abe never stopped grinning because he could still see that smile on the Host’s face. He offered the Host his hand, and the Host accepted and let himself be pulled into a sitting position by the detective, who then waggled his eyebrows at the seer.

‘Care for a new game? Saaay….trivial pursuit?’

The Host’s previously flustered smile morphed into a, somewhat smug, little grin.

‘That feels appropriate, particularly since your pursuit for victory in this particular game will be entirely trivial.’

Abe snickered, already feeling excitement building in his belly as the trash talking.

‘Oh we’ll see.’

They both grinned, before the games resumed. I am pleased to report that the games that the Host and Abe went on to play involved not even a hint of cheating, only trash talk, competitiveness, happiness, and a lot of cramp.

WOOOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS NEXT SEGMENT LEMME KNOW IF YA DID WOOOO LUV YOUS XX

#markiplier #markiplier egos #the host #host #abe the detective #abe #sfw #platonic #ego fic #ego fanfic #tickle fic #tickle fanfic #tickle #tickles #tickling #ticklish #day 6 #christmas 2019

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aticklishtem · 6 years

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Something to Laugh About

((welp so~ I’m pretty new to writing this kinda thing but this Concept wouldn’t leave me alone, so I decided to give it a shot and yeah, maybe someone else will also enjoy this self indulgent trash pile, idk \o/ any kind of feedback is always welcome!!))

For a dame who made, employed, lived in and was even made out of so much candy, that Baroness Von Bon Bon could be an awful sourpuss.

In fact, Beppi wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her truly smile, and it sure wasn’t for lack of trying. Nothing filled his heart with more joy than a genuine, honest-to-goodness smile - the kids whose faces lit up with excitement when he handed them another of his balloon animal menagerie, the crowds who came by his tent to watch him willingly make a fool of himself, his fellow carnival workers and isle-dwellers, he treasured every single smirk, chuckle, giggle and reluctant grimace. Way back before he’d so much as dabbed the first lick of paint on his nose, Beppi had made it his mission to bring a smile to the faces of all of Inkwell, and he was proud to say that so far he had an almost perfect track record. Almost.

The Baroness’ place was over the other side of town, but the isle was small and even she had to venture outside to peddle her wares, so Beppi and Bon Bon had crossed paths plenty. Often enough that it seemed like he’d tried everything - his best jokes, his worst jokes, the pie gag, the seltzer, the banana peel, even his killer impressions of Djimmi and Wally and Grim and anyone else he could think of - to see her lips so much as twitch, but she still just looked at him like he was a piece of taffy stuck to her shoe.

Beppi wasn’t quite as much of a fool as he acted - he knew she fancied herself above him, above all of their colourful corner of carnival. She turned her nose up at their hot dogs and candy corn, declaring that her confectioneries were made with only the finest ingredients Inkwell had to offer, and she couldn’t imagine why anyone would opt to shovel all that greasy garbage down their throat instead. But he hadn’t gotten to where he was by giving up easy - it was that dogged determination that had coaxed chuckles out of some of Inkwell’s grumpiest inhabitants, after all. And it would’ve been too tragic just to let them all carry on their way, stomping through town so sour-faced: he couldn’t imagine anything worse than a life of stony silence. Laughter was Beppi’s lifeblood, long before it had been his living; it filled him up, made him feel big and shiny and swell like a balloon (metaphorically and sometimes literally) until he could just about burst, in the best way. He wanted - no, he needed to spread the joy all over town, all over Inkwell, every way he knew how, and remain hopeful that it’d prove just as infectious as it was irresistible, even for the sourest of pusses.

He was optimistic for another day of sunshine and smiles, during a brief break in the afternoon’s frivolities to relax under the shade of one of the colourful parasols in the square. Beppi had been in the middle of telling Djimmi all about yesterday’s unfortunate yet hilarious incident involving an overzealous balloon giraffe and a fruit hat when Bon Bon shimmied into view.

Without missing a beat, he broke off into a comical double take, and then figured he might just as well fall out of his chair in shock that the esteemed Baroness had seen fit to grace them with her presence. Djimmi just shook his head fondly, long used to his friend’s antics; Bon Bon opted to ignore Beppi entirely as she and Djimmi exchanged polite greetings, simply manoeuvre around him like a colourful puddle as she took the chair on the other side.

Typically tough crowd, but Beppi was prepared for that - and he had a good feeling about today, the fact that Bon Bon had willingly descended from her fancy castle to mingle with the common folk suggesting she might be in a good mood, or at least not quite as much of a sourball as usual. If he could pull just the right rib-tickler out of his hat, maybe she’d even -

Hot dawg - Beppi had to glance up to check if someone hadn’t lobbed a lightbulb right over his head as he scrambled back upright, because had he just been hit with a doozy of an idea.

“Hey, hey, Bonnie.” Beppi leaned in closer to her, his usual ear-to-ear grin turning just a tad more mischievous than usual as he nudged at her elbow. “Gotta question for ya.”

Bon Bon turned to him with a long-suffering sigh, her eyebrows knitting together as though it pained her even to look at him. “What do you want? And don’t call me that.”

“My sincerest of apologies, Baroness.” Beppi just managed to resist putting on his snootiest voice in response as he bowed and tipped his hat - he was happy to humour her this time, since her hoity-toity act would only make his eventual victory all the sweeter. “Aaaanyway. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?”

“I neither know, not care to -“

“Ten-tickles!” he popped the punchline gleefully, sliding an arm around her waist and squeezing before she could get away. “One!” He felt her jump a little at the unexpected contact, but no giggles followed; undeterred, he kept it up, searching for a sweet spot with a few pokes to her ribs. “Two!” Still nothing: Bon Bon was just staring at him like he was doing something utterly ridiculous - which, in all (fun)fairness, was kinda what he was always doing. But this was getting weird, and not the fun kind - was this woman made of rock candy? “Three..?” Faltering for just a moment, he scribbled his fingers across her midsection and finally she reacted - but not how Beppi had hoped, as she seized his wrist and pushed him roughly away.

“Get off! What in the world do you think you’re…” Bon Bon’s big doe eyes widened even further, her eyebrows shooting up as realisation dawned. “Oh, I see - you were trying to tickle me, weren’t you?” Before Beppi could protest his innocence, she scoffed, tossing her chocolate curls. “Tough luck, Chuckles - you won’t get me to crack with such a cheap trick. Hmm, but I wonder…” Something almost in the vicinity of a smile slowly spread across her face, and it was more than a little unsettling, sharp as the glimmer of an idea in her eye as she glanced Beppi up and down, drumming her dainty fingers on the tabletop, and - whoops, he might’ve bitten off a tad more than he could chew after all. “Perhaps someone else around here just might?”

“Ah - heh…” A nervous chuckle escaped as Beppi edged slowly away from her, until his back bumped against Djimmi’s broad chest and he pounced on the potential distraction. “Oooh - you talking about Djimbo here? He’s plenty ticklish - just watch this…”

Before he could attack, though, two strong arms shot out and grasped his noodly ones. Beppi let out an outraged squawk of protest as Djimmi effortlessly held him captive. “Hey - what gives…?”

“I’m sorry, my friend,” Djimmi replied with a shrug and such a grand-piano grin Beppi was surprised his pants didn’t burst into flame, “but, as karma dictates, what goes around…”

“Well said.” Bon Bon nodded, her gaze positively predatory now as it lingered on Beppi’s now-compromising position; a bundle of nervous butterflies fluttered in his belly as she took a few steps closer. “I’m glad to hear someone around here has some respect - putting your greasy paws all over royalty like that? Why, I could have you executed. But…” She paused, actually licking her candy-heart lips as they twisted into a sadistic smirk, and with the slightest wiggle of her fingers Beppi knew he was done for. “I can think of something more fun.”

“N-nohohow, Bonnie, no need to be too hasteeheeheehee…!” Giggles spilled out the moment she spidered her fingers up his sides, barely touching him yet somehow unbearable all at once.

“Isn’t it funny,” Bon Bon purred, her sugary teasing sing-song only intensifying the torture, “how one who so desperately chases the laughter of others can be so easily reduced to such a giggly mess himself?” As if to prove her point, she dug right into his vulnerable underarms, and Beppi’s laughter pitched; with Djimmi holding him just a couple inches off the ground, he could do nothing but cackle helplessly. “It’s kind of cute, though. I might even prefer you like this, laughing too much to prattle on with your pitiful excuse for comedy.”

Beppi might’ve felt himself blushing even redder under his makeup at that last remark, if he could focus on anything other than her wicked fingers as they danced down across his ribs. “We may even have a new attraction!” she continued cheerfully, pausing to squeeze at his hips a few times; he could feel the tips of her nails through her silky gloves and his thin suit, digging in just enough to drive Beppi loopy as the teasing circles she was now tracing around his stomach. “Forget the dunk tank - how many coins for a go on this silly, terribly ticklish clown?”

“Bohohohon, nohoho - nohohot there!”

“Hmm? Not here? But that’s right where the target is!” Bon Bon just sped up, drawing faster and smaller circles until without any warning, she dug one of her devious digits right into his bellybutton; Beppi howled, writhing and bucking uselessly in Djimmi’s iron grip in a vain attempt to escape. “Oooh, look at that, I believe I just hit the bullseye! Where’s my prize?”

She wiggled away until Beppi was honking and wheezing like old Charlie, unable to even beg her for mercy or at least to think of his makeup, which was bound to be in ruins from the tears starting to roll down his cheeks. So this was how it ended - tickled to death by a candy lady. Well, he did always say to always leave ‘em laughing…

“Alright, now, Baroness, I think he’s learned his lesson,” Djimmi’s deep voice intoned, as he dropped Beppi back on his feet, Bon Bon finally ceased her attack - sure, she’d listen to him - and he gasped in relief, gulping in sweet lungfuls of air as he flopped back into Djimmi’s arms in a giggly heap, before remembering that he was a dirty traitor. “We don’t want the poor fella to literally laugh his head off.” He grinned, apparently unconcerned by Beppi’s best wounded glare. “It’s been known to happen.”

“That,” Beppi eventually managed to say, pointing an accusing finger at the both of them, “was cruel. And unusual.”

Bon Bon tittered, smoothing down her dress. “Oh dear, funny boy, was I too much for you? Can’t even take what you attempt to dish out? Well, I’d best be taking a powder anyway - time is candy, fellas.” She caught Beppi’s eye as she rose to her feet and shot him a sly wink, and his heart might’ve done a tiny somersault when she fluttered her fingers at them. “Let’s do this again sometime, shall we?”

She turned to saunter back off to her candy land, leaving Beppi and Djimmi to sit/float under the parasol in silence. Well, he’d better get used to it, because Beppi was definitely never speaking to him again. Not a word, not for the rest of their days, no matter how much he begged or -

“Djimbo.” Whoopsie - he’d just have to ignore him forever later, as he was already leaning over to nudge him repeatedly in the side. “D’ja-hear that? Bonnie thinks I’m cute.”

Djimmi chuckled indulgently, taking a puff of his pipe. “Perhaps you should be more careful how you address the Baroness,” he pointed out, eyes twinkling with gentle amusement, “lest you find yourself in another such ticklish predicament.”

Beppi shuddered dramatically, but his goofy grin only grew wider - because, well, Bon Bon had been smiling when she’d been tickling him to pieces. More than he’d ever seen her before, so maybe his plan hadn’t backfired quite as spectacularly as it might seem.

Maybe he wouldn’t mind letting her get the last laugh every once in a while, after all.

#tickling #tickle fic #tickle fanfic #cuphead tickling #slightly candyclown? you can interpret it however #i have No Clue how to tag this so i'll just #leave it here with the rest of the fire #tem writes #my fic

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weeklyhumorist · 4 years

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The Commissioner's Adjusted Rules For The 2020 MLB Season

Spitting is banned unless you are wearing a mask

First and third base will be replaced with active landmines

If anyone sees my wife out and about, will you tell her to call me? I want to work it out

Bats will be replaced with a sea bass

Balls will be replaced with a much littler sea bass

I am a shell of a man

Along with having a universal designated hitter, each team will be assigned a designated tickler

Stadiums will replace hot dogs with normal temperature regular dogs

Gloves will be replaced with a hand of bananas

There will be an eighty-eight team playoff.

I will be available for calls just in case anyone just wants to talk about anything. Anything at all

A new position will be tested in between first and second called, “longstop.”

Fans are no longer allowed to bring bee hives to stadiums

Each team will select their best fighter and send them to an island and the order of deaths will determine playoff seeding

I’ve been going through a lot lately

Each team will select their worst fighter and have them examine the stadium to make sure that people are no longer bringing bee hives into the stadium

Each club’s cocaine dealer must be screened by me prior to entering the ball park for about an hour and a half or so

Every player will go by the name ‘Darryll Strawberry’ because it’s the cutest name EVER!

Stop ignoring my calls

Figure out who the fuck has been bringing all these bee hives to the game

‘Take Me Out To The Ball Game’ will no longer be played at any ball park. Each club’s organist must play ‘Home Sweet Home’ by Mötley Crüe

Each team’s closer must send me a text during this rendition to see if I’m okay. I’m not.

Somebody let The Royals know that their coke dealer is the best one of the lot.

Daddy’s feelin’ good

When a pitcher gets called out of the bull pen he must French kiss the guy he’s replacing to, “tag in.”

Slowly

I can’t stop crying

I just want to let all the managers know that you guys are the best friends anyone could ask for and you’ve really been there for me. Especially you Tito.

Anyone know where I could get some acid?

Make ABSOLUTELY sure that there are NO BEES anywhere near me when I take the acid. Last time I was at Comerica and rode the snake I thought all those bees were little flying candy corns and boy did I pay for it

A portion of all player’s salaries will go towards my cosmetic surgery fund

I’m going to fix myself up and start taking care of myself. Then she’ll love me again

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if ‘The Orioles’ and ‘The Cardinals’ swapped names and we didn’t tell anyone about it? It would be so funny!

‘The Blue Jays have to change their name all together. That was her favorite bird and I just can’t.

Maybe all of this is for the best

Tell everyone in the front office in San Diego to laugh when I say, “You know, my father was a Padré.” That joke is totally killer and you guys don’t even fucking care

Someone stop me

I’m driving 130 mph on a side street

Tom Petty was right when he said, “It’s so painful when something that’s so close is still so far out of reeeeEEEEaaaAAAAch”

I am the American Girl

Remember The Titans

Don’t You Forget About me though either

Play ball

The Commissioner’s Adjusted Rules For The 2020 MLB Season was originally published on Weekly Humorist

#baseball #drugs #funny #humor #list #MLB #sports #summer

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peachesandscreamsguidereviews · 4 years

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How to Buy Flavoured Lubes For Sex

The truth is, sometime sex isn’t always romantic and enjoyable. Sometime it is uncomfortable and uncoordinated. Sometime, the smell of the vagina can turn you off instead of on. And there are those days just thinking of your lovers penis in your mouth nauseate you. You are willing to pleasure them, but you need help getting you there. Introducing a flavoured lubricant certainly adds tastiness to the experience.

Flavoured lubricants are usually water based and come in various fruit and candy flavours such as strawberry, banana, vanilla, orange, watermelon, chocolate, and many more. Most are also edible making for perfect oral sex and foreplay. If your man loves a blowjob, coat his penis and balls with a chocolate flavoured lubricant and have him for dessert. For your lady, massage her clitoris with a strawberry lubricant and open shop with a warm tongue. Suckle her full mouth until she screams out your name in total submission. Remember women orgasm from the clitoris, you deliver this right and she is yours for life.

Flavoured lubricants also add a particular sweet intimacy to your relationship. Grab a warming flavoured lubricant and coat your partner’s erogenous zones and let the fire burn. Quench their desires with wet kisses, directly licking the lube using both your wet lips and tongue. Think about putting some on the neck, nipples, stomach, inner thighs, anywhere you know it will feel sensual and mind-blowing for them.

Even if your sex life is at a good place already, you can still stir and steam things up. And some kink to the games, cuff their hands and apply a blindfold to them. Run a feather tickler up their body. Let them turn and twist with anticipation, guessing where else you will be striking next. A new scent in your bedroom might just be what you need to turn around your sex life around.

While you might already have a flavour in mind, choosing flavoured lubricants can still be a daunting task. Choosing the right flavoured lube can take a simple sex act like a blowjob from sexy to mind-blowingly electrifying. Here is a guide to help you choose the right flavoured lubricant for you and your partner.

Factors to Consider When Choosing Flavoured Lubricants

· Consider the Ingredients

When choosing flavoured lubricants, always pay attention to the ingredient composition. Some of the ingredients used can irritate your skin or cause allergic reactions. It is not advisable to use flavoured lubricant for vaginal penetration. Scents and flavours can irritate the sensitive vaginal tissues. If you want to use flavoured lubricants for any penetrative sex vaginal sex, avoid the following ingredients as they can be harmful to your body.

- Glycerin: Its sugary hence, increases the possibilities of contracting a yeast infection or Urinary Tract Infection.

- Polyquaternium-15: This can irritate your rectal lining and increases HIV replication.

- Nonoxynol-9: This ingredient can irritate the vaginal walls increasing the chances of contracting infections and STDs.

- Parabens (Methylparaben and Propylparaben): These have been linked to breast and ovarian cancers especially in women.

- Menthol: This can cause vaginal dryness

Some flavours and scents used can also cause sinus or skin allergies. If you are not sure of the ingredients effects to your body, take an allergy test by applying a little amount of the lube on the inside of your wrist and leave on for at least 12 hours. . If no irritation appears, then the lube will be safe for you.

· Consider the PH Balance

Your vagina and anus has a PH of 5.5 – 7. Choose flavoured lubes that have the closest ideal PH to avoid upsetting this balance. Imbalances of pH can cause bacterial, yeast infections or other urinary tract infection.

· Consider the Scents

Flavoured lubricants come in different scents and fragrances options. You can choose from strawberry, orange, vanilla, mint, chocolate, lavender, rosemary and many more. You might need to try different scents before your find your own personal favourite. Start with your favourite candy flavours and try out different flavours to match your moods and themes. Keeping a variety of scents keeps things exciting.

· Consider Added Advantages

Like all other lubricants, flavoured lubricants help reduce friction during penetrative and oral sex. To increase pleasure, some flavoured lubricants have climax control properties which slightly numb the nerve ending or the penis reducing sensitivity. This helps you delay ejaculation and attain a longer lasting erection during intercourse. Some have sensational warming, tingling or cooling properties to increase your pleasure. Others are coated with spermicide; a lubricant designed to kills sperms to increase pregnancy protection. As you contemplate on the ingredients and scents, think about what other sensations you would like to include in your games.

Flavoured lubricants are fun and great to play with in the bedroom. Besides making things smoother, they add some tastiness to your games. Spice things up with flavoured lubricants from Peaches and Screams. Take a spin to our Bedroom Essentials collections and fill your bucket with flavoured lubricants with different scents and flavours. Choose from strawberry, cherry, pussy scents, semen scents, chocolate and more. We have scaled the world and created partnerships with top-notch brands like Durex, Kama Sutra, Astroglide and more to bring you only the best. Stamp your bedroom creativity. Buy Peaches and Screams flavoured lubricants and change how you deliver pleasure. We offer total discretion in billing, packaging and shipping to protect your privacy. Unleash your bedroom playfulness. Order your favourite flavoured lubricant now and treat your partner to a night of ultimate eroticism. Giving a blowjob shouldn’t be something you need to think about. Choose a flavoured lubricant from Peaches and Screams and treat your man to an orgasmic oral of his lifetime. Pull out the flavoured lubricant while your partner is coming from the bathroom and give them a nice erotic massage. Release the scents to entice their minds and arouse their senses. Peaches and Screams is here for your delight. Buy Flavoured lubricants, flavoured lubricants and oils for sex, flavoured condoms, flavoured dental dams, and everything erotic you need to intensify your pleasure. Your body is an essential instrument of pleasure, use it!

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