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lanabuckybarnes · 1 day

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| Take The Reins | 18+ MINORS DNI

You’ve lived your life being that bitch, completely independent from everyone else. After finding love with Bucky you fell into that leading role, helping the man recover from his years worth of torture and brainwashing. It’s starting to take its toll and Bucky notices.

✧ Author Note ✧ So this was very indulgent and a complete filth fest lmao. It’s been a long time coming but I hope you enjoy this hehe~

✧ Pairing ✧ Dom!Bucky x Sub!Reader

✧ Warnings ✧ Sub!Bucky Dom!Reader to start, Mommy Kink, Withdrawn Consent, Feelings (ew), Daddy Kink, Sweetheart Bucky, Dom!Bucky, Sub!Reader, Established Safeword, Teasing, Dirty Talk, so much dirty talk, praising, Nipple play, Pussy eating, Dumbification, Face sitting (M), Ball Sucking, PinV (unprotected), Mentions of Breeding, Dacryphilia, a teeny amount of aftercare, did I mention this is extremely dirty.

✧ Word Count ✧ 4.2k

Bucky's lips had not pulled themselves from their pout all day, his eyes flickering over the words of his book but not quite taking them in, his mind far too preoccupied on something, someone, else.

It had been like this since yesterday; after coming home from a long mission he wanted nothing more than to pull his pants and briefs off his tired legs and slip into the sheets beside you, you’d treat him right, and you had, your hand and mouth working on his thick neglected length; pushing him past the point of return before bringing him back beside you with sweet praises on your lashing tongue as it greedily sucked up the thick slicked mess he left over his abs.

“Mmm, you’re such a sweet little boy ain’t you?” Your tongue ran up the split in his core, drawing a drool-tinged line up to his sternum before sucking sweet marks back down all the while your hand pumped his aching length between your slender fingers.

Bucky’s headspace slipped for a second at your words, or rather the tonality laced through them; it was lacking its usual sultry touch, instead replaced by something akin to tiredness, it was enough to have Bucky slip back from under you until his wide back connected with the wooden headboard.

“Angel?” His calloused hand slipped under your chin, concerned-looking blue eyes meeting your confused ones, but the exhaustion you thought you hid so expertly was easily noticed by Bucky. His heart clenched and panic settled deep in his gut.

All he’d done was take, fumbling over each orgasm you gave him, he hadn’t even stopped to think of what you needed.

“Let me please you Mommy, wanna make you feel good” if all he did was take before he was prepared to give his girl, his dom all the pleasure she wanted. But you pulled his hands from the side of your sweatpants with a weak smile, leaning forward to kiss away the worried wobble of his lips.

“Mmm mm it’s ok baby boy, I’m just a little tired—just wanna cuddle with you” you soothed, running small thumbs over the back of his veiny hands, turning yourself until you lay in your back and pulling him down until his scruffy beard scraped deliciously over the swell of your breasts.

Bucky laid awake long after you, he’d never seen you less enthusiastic about sex, you were always rearing to go and make him whimper and whine below you, but he willed himself to forget about it for just the time being and get himself some sleep.

Little did Bucky know just how deep the exhaustion ran for you.

You loved Bucky, loved pleasing him, taking control but after over a year of denying that primal urge to have someone take the reins, do all the things you did to Bucky, take control so all you had to worry about was being a good little girl — you were wearing thin.

But telling Bucky this in your eyes would pull his carefully stitched string around his heart and soul too taut and the last thing you wanted was for them to snap because you were too much of a baby to suck up something so silly.

Bucky sucked on his teeth before shutting the book over and making a B-line to where he knew you often cooped yourself up.

The gym was empty, the only evidence that someone was there being the heavy smack of first against leather, You panted out a growl as you threw another shot, weaker than the last one which was also weaker than the one before, you were beyond tired but that tangled mess of thoughts in your brain meant that you hadn’t worked out enough stress.

Your thoughts were so loud in your ears that you neglected to notice Bucky’s wide frame as he drew closer until he was almost on top of you.

“Have you stopped at all?” He cringed instantly at the calloused nature of his words, he wanted to sound more concerned yet came across as angry, Bucky Barnes shining through rather than the baby boy you were so used to.

“Gotta keep-“ your words were verbal mush as you pranced around the bag, footing clumsy as sweat dribbled down your forehead and into your eyes. Bucky had enough.

“Ok Stop!!” He growled, metal arm tightening around the thick links holding up the bag, stopping it swinging almost effortlessly. You turned to him, head tilted back as you glared at his dark features.

“Let go of it” You demanded, gaze unwavering against his; usually the shades swimming around your irises would have him on his knees before you, apologising breathlessly but not today, not when you were going to kill yourself if you kept up.

“What is this about?” He asked, clipping his words to give you the idea that he was irritated and worried rather than panicked and guilty. You stood your ground for a moment longer before your shoulders sagged and you dropped like a sack onto the floor, shaky fingers clutching your bottle as you greedily sucked down your water.

You knew it would get worse if you kept it hidden from him and a part of you felt more guilty now that you had used the guise of ‘protecting’ him to cover the way you truly felt, so you heaved a breath and spoke.

“I-just…I’m tired Bucky, it’s been a long time coming but last night when you came home, god you looked so fucking hot, all I could think about was me below you while you took the reins.” You picked at the broken skin around your nails as you spoke, your eyes darting anywhere but him as you felt him squat down to your level.

“All my life I’ve done my own thing, been independent and taken control…I guess it’s just weighing on me now. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that- I need to let go, take my foot off the gas and let someone take control, I didn’t wanna tell you because I know how hard it’s been for you and control was a big thi-“ his plump lips securing yours in a passionate lip lock had your words fading into nothingness, Bucky’s scent being the only thing your brain could truly focus on— he often had that effect on you.

“You want me to take the lead baby?” god his voice was so deep, dark locks framing his deep-coloured eyes as they studied you amorously, taking in each subtle detail of your face as the frown you held melted into something weaker - vulnerability.

You nodded softly, doe-like eyes falling from his steely gaze as trickles of submission pumped through your spine to the tips of your digits, this is what it must’ve felt like for Bucky. His big hands cupped both sides of your face and pulled it with a tug to face his dead-on.

“Words angel…otherwise, I don’t know what you want” The look he fixed you with was almost mocking as he spoke like you were a child, barely able to understand a word he said.

“I want you to take control Buck, make me feel good” you whined, internally just a little concerned at how easily you slipped into the role but Bucky had a way of making sure you were safe to lose yourself when he was around.

“Ok baby” he whispered against your forehead, lips pressing delicately against the sweaty skin before he pulled you up and into his arms.

“Daddy’ll help you clean up then he’ll make you feel good, promise” he bit back a smile when you hummed and sunk into his beefy frame.

Bucky took his time cleaning you up, tentatively scrubbing your body wash into your skin, his thumbs digging into the knots of your body until you were limber.

Your feet had barely touched the ground since he’d pulled you from the gym, there was no need, bucky thought, he was big enough to move you.

“There we are” he smiled airily as he set your towel-wrapped frame onto the plush bed.

“Now some ground rules baby; we’ll use the traffic light system ok? If you don’t like anything you tell me and I’ll stop right away, I’ll be mad if you don’t. You’ll answer when I ask you questions with your words only unless you can’t, and you’ll be a good girl and have fun” His smile widened when you gave him a small nod followed by a soft ‘yes’.

Bucky’s wide hands ran up your thighs, fingertips venturing just under the towel before he scraped his nails back down, drawing a teased whine from you.

“Mm gonna make you feel so good angel…wish you would’ve told me sooner this is what you wanted” he whispered huskily, pushing you until your back met the mattress before his fingers gripped your wrists and sat them one over the other above your head.

“Keep em there”

He leaned down, tongue wetting his lips before it slipped into your ajar mouth, pushing against your own, suckling slightly on it when he pulled back and your tongue chased him out of your mouth. He took his sweet time unwrapping the front of the towel, your whimpers of impatience music to his ears.

“Mm, what’s wrong baby? You whining because I’m taking my sweet time? Now that’s not being very good is it…you lie there and keep that pretty mouth quiet unless it’s moans of pleasure alright? Wouldn’t wanna punish you so early” his face split in a shit-eating grin as he whipped the towel from your front, exposing your delicate front to him, your nipples pebbling at the gentle breeze falling from his nose and fanning down the swell of your tits, snaking down the valley like a hot river.

“Fuckkk these tits, always so fucking hot—loved when they would bounce up and down in my face while you rode me Mommy” Your body jerked violently under his at the name; the usual breath tone that accompanied it was long gone, replaced with a deep growly timbre that made the insides of your thighs slick with your juices.

“You smell fucking good angel, you soaking yourself thinking bout me? Don’t even try shaking that head” he mumbled around a mouthful of breast, teeth and tongue grazing over it, sucking it into his mouth before sinking his pearly whites gently causing you to shriek and the mismatched feelings. While his tongue lashed over one of your hardened buds his metal thumb circled the other gently like it was your puffy little clit.

“Please!!!—“ you begged, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as your legs hitched up onto the bed; his abs ran against your little clit’s hood sending shockwaves over you, and your back arched as your hips ground into the muscle more.

Bucky tut, pulling away from you completely, an incredulous laugh falling from his mouth as he gazed down at his shiny abdomen. You’d fucking soaked him, your desperate grinding slickening his corded muscle. You shut your legs in embarrassment as his fingers ran over the essence and slipped into his mouth.

“Mmm shit angel tastes so good, open those fucking legs” he groaned, knees thumping painfully against the ground but all he was focused on was the sopping meal in front of him.

“Look at you…always knew you were a desperate slut, put your hands in daddy’s hair while he eats you out’ love it when you pull on it” his wide tongue covered the expanse of your slit and folds as he hungrily lapped up the juices, letting out a satisfied hum when a graze of his teeth on your aching pearl and more juices slipping unabashedly from your tight hole.

Bucky sucked on your folds like a man starved; mouth open wide as his thick tongue devoured you, circling your clit before dipping down and slipping his tongue as far as it would go into your weeping hole. He hummed delightfully as you pulled on his locks, his head shaking from side to side, your juices flicking all over the place—you just knew there would’ve been a wet patch all over the bed if it weren’t for your towel but as Bucky continued you weren't sure the towel would stop it.

Bucky was lost in the taste of your pussy, cerulean eyes glazed over, a concentrating stare directed up your body, watching as it jerked and shuddered at his relentless torment.

“You enjoying this sweetheart? You love it when you can go all dumb don’t you…just wait till daddy has you on his dick, I’ll fuck you right baby you don’t have to worry about that” his growls vibrated against your lips and straight to the tight knot coiling in your belly.

You cried out as his nose rubbed against your sweet little pearl, his tongue curling up inside you, his metal hand pressing onto your pubic bone keeping you firmly planted to the bed. His efforts doubled at your garbled pleas and tears.

“Aww gonna come angel? Gonna soak Daddy’s face yeah? Mmm come on sweet girl come all over my fucking face” he moaned through a mouthful of your pussy, eyes shutting as you jerked and shook, your thighs clamping down onto the side of his head.

“Good fucking girl that’s it yeah your feeding daddy so well mama’ giving me your sweet little juices” The words oozed from Bucky’s wet mouth filthily while his thumb rubbed gently over your sensitive clit, his hand only stopping when you whined weakly and pushed on his rippling forearm.

Bucky rose, his fingers shaking as he struggled with the button on his jeans; his cock bulged dramatically against the front, his thighs filling out the denim in a way that should’ve been illegal.

“Fucking shit” he grumbled before a light popped aired around the room, his button pinging to the other side of the room as he impatiently tore down the denim along with his grey briefs before he ripped the henly over his head. If you thought he looked good clothed your mouth ran dry at the sight of his naked form, his tanned skin layered over stacks of muscles, stretching and compressing with each movement he made as he straddled your much smaller frame, his tree trunk-sized thighs caging you in.

“I wanna try something angel, you wanna taste Daddy?” He groaned, hair curling down his built shoulders as his head rolled back, he poked his tongue out to wet his lips, muffling his soft sounds as his hand jerked over his heavy length. He was kneeling over your breasts, the head of his cock positioned perfectly over your lips; when a bead of his precum slipped from his tip your mouth parted in anticipation, watching it trail down and almost fall but his fingers caught it first.

“Answer me babydoll” he reprimanded your silence.

“Wanna taste you Daddy please” god you were so pathetic but you were loving it; it was such a far cry from the role you played just yesterday that it almost gave you whiplash but Bucky was there, he’d make sure you were alright.

“Well, I wanna save my cock for that pretty pussy so how about I sit on that pretty face and you can suck on my balls, how’s that sound?” You gaped, whine falling unruly from your greedy mouth at even just the thought; a simple glance down the way would let you see just how heavy his sac was as it hung and suddenly you wanted nothing more than to massage them with your tongue.

You nodded frantically “Wanna lick your balls Daddy please lemme suck on them…sit on my face and give me them Daddy”

“Ok angel” he smiled, metal fingers cupping your chin and forcing you to look up at his hair-framed face “But you’ll tap my thigh if you wanna stop won’t you?” He asked, dominant edge replaced with soft tones; the last thing he wanted was to push you too far and you’d have no way to stop him.

“I will just hurry” you whimpered, hands grasping the plush cheeks of his ass and weakly pushing his body, attempting to manoeuvre him to your face. He chuckled before giving you what you want.

Bucky never thought that having his balls played with would ever feel as good as it did. In the 40s he’d had one relationship that led to the bedroom but the girl wouldn’t do anything like you would. His blue eyes blared down at you, your gazes meeting as your tongue worked over his sac expertly, lips closing around the soft skin and sucking on one before moving to another—bucky could hardly control himself when you giggled against him at the sight of his fucked out face, he could feel his control slipping into that sub headspace he was so used to but your glazed over orbs made sure he never got too far. He had his perfect girl to take care of and he was gonna damn well do his job.

“Fuck baby-ohh, ain’t ever felt something so good…you like daddy’s balls, don’t you? Mm fuck gonna come soon angel” his confession spurred you on, messily, you sucked both his balls in; a moan flowing from your mouth freely at the stretch of your jaw. Bucky fumbled, his legs slipping and his weight leaning more on your face before his titanium fingers fisted the sheets above your head, making sure he didn’t crush you.

He was losing his marbles, head buzzing so loud in his ears he couldn’t control the breathy moans falling from his lips, he had to move or he’d come.

“Stop baby” he lifted slightly; the whimper coming from you as you followed his movement almost made him go crazy, the urge to plank his entire weight on your mouth almost too much but he shook his head.

“Ah ah angel, wanna come in you— breed that fucking cunt” he rambled. snaking down till his lips were level with yours he kissed you sweetly, your taste still present on his lips and tongue as it messed around with your own.

“You're doing so good for me sweet baby, you wanna keep going? Want me to make you come on my cock huh, breed you fucking full…maybe you’ll let me in that little ass after, pump both your holes full of me—fuck” his hand darted down to squeeze his length, a long throaty groan escaping him and onto your face.

“Shit” he chuckled “just fucking thinking of my dick splitting you in two almost had me cumming mama, your insatiable” his lips fell onto yours again, tongue swiping violently against yours now.

He growled into your mouth as his raging head swiped over your sopping slit, catching on the underside of your pearl, he smacked himself there a few times before slipping back down.

“Colour baby” he whispered, flesh thumb and index finger pinching your chin and bringing you back to him.

“So green Daddy, so fucking green” you cried, eyes glazed over and brain almost mush. This is what you wanted; you were finally letting go and it felt amazing, Bucky was taking such good care of you, teetering on the edge of handling you like fine china and pushing you around like some common whore—a perfect balance.

With prep, Bucky was difficult to take inside but now it felt like a whole different ballgame. An almost sobbed whimper fell from his lips as his cock pushed in, his teeth biting his lower lip firmly, his metal hand carding through your hair until it rested against your scalp. He was so close; so ready to cum in you that it was almost painful to keep his core tight and his balls from spilling. After much effort he was fully inside, curled hair at the base of his cock tickling your labia, his balls resting against your perineum.

You sobbed against his shoulder, arms wrapped around his back, your nails leaving crescent shapes over the muscle while your legs wrapped themselves over his ass, keeping him still inside you.

“Colour angel come on, you don’t gotta keep going” his lips brushed your ear as worry littered his voice. He’d never seen you like this, so…cockdrunk; your eyes rolling to the back of your skull as tears slipped down your face and into your hair. You had so much control of yourself and your life, part of the reason he’d been so enamoured by you was because you’d had a life like his yet bounced back and reclaimed yourself. He knew it was hard for you, he’d comforted you during those times it got bad but he’d never witnessed you giving in so easily— giving yourself to him in the same way he’d give himself to you— it worried him but his heart swelled with pride and love most of all. You’d let him be the decision maker and he wanted to make sure he hadn’t taken too much.

“Green daddy… I'm sorry just-its a little overwhelming” you babbled, your fingers lifting a little and your head flopping back onto the bed to catch his eyes; they swam with nothing but love and awe.

“That’s ok baby, you want me to fuck you nice and slow? I’ll take care of you” his lips pecked your own, dog tags resting on your sternum.

“No Daddy, want you to use me…want you to breed me”.

Bucky was a man of service and he was going to service his sweet little girl in the way she wanted. He pulled out with a loud shlurp until only his head stayed inside before plunging in again. He thrust gently a few times until you loosened up a little, and then his thrust became more powerful, balls slapping into a mixture of your juices and his precum.

“Ohhh fuck—so tight for me sweetheart, you like it when I breed you huh? Bet that dumb little fucking brain is just thinking of nothing but my cock and cum filling you up…oh mama gonna make you so round, watch those tits swell up until they can’t fit in those fucking sexy bras mmmm” Whatever control Bucky had on himself was gone. He thrust quickly, the bed creaking under each slap of his hips into you. You couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, everything was Bucky—and you couldn’t have been happier about it.

“Fuck daddy” you slurred, there was that familiar coiling in your stomach, every nerve in your body pleading to let go “Gonna cum Daddy” the words fell from you like a chant.

“That’s it, sweetness, come for your daddy…milk my fucking cock” and you did. Your pussy clenched tight, your mouth opened in a high-pitched cry, your arms and legs clinging tightly to Bucky as he sent you to the moon and back.

“FUCK—I’m gonna fucking come baby, oh shit mama gonna breed you so good, you want me to breed you? Tell me you fucking want it baby, tell me” he snarled, teeth securing themselves around your earlobe as his thrusts grew sloppy.

“Ahh wan it so bad…hah Bucky” was all you could muster as his cock plunged deep one last time. He moaned loudly, fucking his cock into your cervix as he came

“mmmm fucking hell baby” he laughed breathlessly as he lay on top of you; body tremoring as his orgasm subsided—then all of his attention was on you.

“You alright angel?” He hissed as he slipped out and scooped you up into his arms, ignoring the slight whine of protest and your aching muscles moved against their will. His lips smothered you in soft kisses, his fingers rubbing over all of your body and smoothing out your hair.

“Mmm,” you mumbled, sniffing back your tears. Bucky had been everything you wanted and more but with emotions running high you broke down.

“Fuck did I hurt you babydoll?” He worried, had you lied to him? You seemed to be enjoying it but were you just afraid that you’d dug yourself too deep; his thoughts returned from last night as well—maybe you just never wanted him at all.

Sensing his worried thoughts like you normally would, you had a knack for it, your thumb smoothed over the crease between his brows before you leaned forward and planted a soft kiss there

“I enjoyed it all Buck, too much if anything” You laughed at the last part and it coaxed Bucky to chuckle too.

“Come on; gotta get you cleaned up” He kissed you softly before beginning to move but you gripped the sheets tightly, stopping him.

“Mmm just wanna sleep right now buck” you argued. Any other night Bucky would have argued, that he loved showering you after sex, it grounded him. But the look on your face was one he couldn't resist so he sank back down against the pillows, his foot kicking the soaked towel to the floor.

“Alright but once we get up it’s straight to the shower” he mumbled against your hair, his metal fingers running down the column of your spine.

“Round two in there?” You cracked an eye open to watch him as you spoke.

“You’re gonna kill me woman” he groaned but his cock twitched softly against his thigh.

You’d get your round two, and round three…..and four.

✧ ✧

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qveerthe0ry · 2 days

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Conquer the Heart

Summary: Joel comes out - written for @romanarose Pride Event Week 1: Coming Out Word Count: 3,981 Pairing: Joel Miller x M! Reader Rating: Mature (but my blog is 18+ mdni) Warnings: vague descriptions of sex, fluff, kissing, conversations about sexuality, really that's it this is pretty much just sweet and fluffy with a tiny hint of spice Betas: @for-a-longlongtime and @perotovar who could have guessed? Love y'all <3 A/N: I just wanted to make Joel queer idk. Title from an Orville Peck song because of course

You don’t know what possessed you to pay the $5 cover to check that place out. The Round-Up Saloon, perched on a street corner in downtown Austin. The outside was unassuming enough, but the neon lights and mechanical bull and rotating dance floor inside made it look like something straight out of Urban Cowboy.

There were all kinds of crowds. College kids and business casuals and actual cowboys. And it’s Austin, so all the sexualities were represented in one way or another as you took note of the couples at tables and on the dance floor. You couldn’t really care about any of them, though, as soon as you laid eyes on him.

You were drawn to him and his broad shoulders and tight Wrangler blue jeans.

He was with a big group of women and men, all drinking and laughing and taking turns line-dancing with each other on the dance floor.

And to think you only stumbled into the honky tonk cowboy bar out of curiosity… It certainly wasn’t your scene.

But you’d watched Joel dance with a few women with respectful hand placement, and then he danced with a man, and hope had bubbled up inside of you to the sound of Alan Jackson.

He was a little sweaty when you worked up the courage to talk to him, and his cologne masked all the alcohol and cigarettes in the air.

You plastered on a flirty smile and asked him if he could teach you some of his moves. When he looked taken aback and flustered, you backtracked.

“I’m sorry, I saw you dancing with that guy— I didn’t mean to assume.”

“Tommy? That’s my brother,” he’d explained, a little flushed in the face.

“Oh! Shit, sorry, ignore me.”

But he’d caught your arm as you turned to hibernate for approximately 5-10 business days.

“I don’t see no harm in teachin’ you.”

And so he did. And it was fun, and his hands on you were so warm you swear they branded his mark all over your skin.

A few songs, all background noise to the ‘he’s just straight, don’t do this’ mantra in your head, and he was leading you off the dance floor for another beer.

A friendly beer. Surely that’s all it was.

But he was so friendly. He gave you pointers on how to dance, and then asked if you’re from around here, and then he was waving off his group of friends when they all announced their departure.

He asked you about your job, and you asked about his, and then the way his hands felt rough on the skin of your arm made more sense.

Maybe you were crazy, or the two beers you had were really getting to your head, but there was something so unspeakably electric between you. You felt it when he’d lean in closer to hear you, the way he touched your arm with the back of his bottle-filled fist, the way his hoppy breath ghosted across your cheek to reach your ear.

And then he said he should probably get home, and asked if he should walk you to your car, and maybe he wasn’t straight, you thought, as he briefly placed his hand on your back to guide you through the packed bar.

And you really, really shouldn’t have. But you asked for his number, and he put it in your shitty flip phone, and then you kissed him.

Right on the mouth. A quick peck that was so short you could’ve nearly pretended it was an accident.

He looked so stunned, and guilt boiled up in your stomach.

But he’d grabbed your wrist gently, and looked you in the eyes.

“I’m uh… I don’t… I haven’t ever done that.”

“That was your first kiss?”

It was a joke, and thank god he laughed. His smile looked so fucking good under the shitty, flickering street lamps.

“Call me, okay?”

And then he was gone. You thought about him the whole drive home, while you got undressed and ready for bed, as you fell asleep. You felt his touch in your dreams, and when you woke in the morning you could hardly believe he was real.

But his phone number was burning a hole in your cell phone. You stared at it on and off all Saturday long. What would you even say? Why did he even want you to call him, if he’d never even kissed a guy before? Did he just want a new drinking buddy?

The dread built up all day long, until it was late, and a sense of now or never goaded you into calling his number.

He answered, and you told him who you were, and he’d sounded so surprised to hear from you. He didn’t think you’d want to see him again, after he embarrassed himself, and his admission made you balk.

You told him you were the one who felt embarrassed. He laughed at that. Said he’s a lot smoother with ladies, but you made him feel nervous. He said he wanted to meet up again.

And so you did.

Just a shitty diner for an early dinner on Sunday, unassuming enough. The chemistry you felt at the bar hadn’t faded. If anything, it was so much more apparent now. The way he blushed when you flirted seemed less like the bad kind of gay panic. His foot kept nudging yours under the table.

He walked you to your car again, and then he kissed you, much less chaste than the night at the bar, with one big, rough hand on your neck and the other on your hip.

“That was pretty good for only your second kiss,” you’d said.

He shrugged, a sheepish smile gracing his heated face.

“Should stick around and find out about the third.”

And if you hadn’t already been wrapped around his finger, he certainly secured the spot for you then.

He wasn’t new to dating, but he was new to this, and it showed. He got pretty easily flustered around you. On your second date, he brought up his daughter for the first time like he’d forgotten he hadn’t mentioned her before. A casual thing, talking about her getting ready to graduate high school.

“Does Sarah know… who you’re on a date with?”

Joel shook his head.

“Not yet. No one does… Not even sure how to explain it to myself, if I’m honest.”

You were patient with him. It’s gotta be culture shock, living nearly 40 years of your life completely straight and having some random guy at a bar change that for you overnight.

You took things slow. You talked a lot over the phone, after Sarah went to sleep. He told you about his dating history, Sarah’s mom and only a few unserious flings after. You tried not to psychoanalyze him, but it makes a little bit of sense. Getting some girl pregnant at 19, marrying her, getting ditched with a toddler and a curt ‘good luck’ and then raising her on your own?

No wonder he never questioned his sexuality. There was genuinely no time to.

At first, you thought you may just be a stepping stone. A news flash for him, an experiment, something fun for a season. It didn’t bother you. It’s happened before. But as your nightly talks got longer, and as you took each other out more and more often, it became clear that it wasn’t like that.

You watched with fascination and adoration as Joel figured things out. It was so endearing when he asked if he should hold the door open for you, or if you should take turns. Likewise, when he held your hand in public for the first time, the way he asked your permission made your heart grow way too big for your rib cage.

Things weren’t perfect, of course, but nothing ever is. You didn’t get to see him as much as you ideally would. You were both busy during the work week, and he often had father duties on the weekends. Most of your dates were quick dinner bites when Sarah had a school thing, or an odd Saturday here or there when Sarah had a sleepover.

But that was quite enough for you. You weren’t even looking for something when you’d met him. You didn’t feel the need to move quickly when you hadn’t planned on going anywhere in the first place.

And he was sweet, and quite self-aware.

“Wish we could spend more time together,” he’d tell you over the phone, “I know this ain’t the way things normally go.”

But you liked him. So much. So it didn’t bother you.

And, as the weeks passed by, he opened up more. He started asking you more pointed questions, like how you came out to those closest to, and what it was like. He asked if you were seeing other people— it’s okay if you are, was just wonderin’— and then he asked you if you wanted to be together when you made it clear you weren’t.

“Like… as boyfriend and boyfriend?”

He chuckled, the deep gravel a familiar tone swimming through your landline with a nervous twinge to it.

“Yeah, as boyfriend and boyfriend.”

And he treated you right, and you got along with him so well, and he was so put together and responsible and respectful.

“I’d really like to be your boyfriend.”

And his breath had hitched so loud it was caught by the receiver, but you could hear the smile in his voice when he told you that he’d really like that, too.

A few days after that, he told you Sarah would be gone all weekend, on a team trip for some hiking and kayaking and bonding.

“Could I stay at yours? I hate to invite myself, it’s just— Tommy’s got no boundaries. Wouldn’t want him bargin’ in, y’know, before I get to tell him.”

You didn’t mind one bit, aside from the mountain of laundry you had to fold in preparation for his arrival.

It was the first time you’d been truly alone with him. Your dates were always public, at least somewhat. And he’d kissed you, a ton, but that’s as far as it had ever gone.

You definitely wanted him. You’d wanted him since the very second you laid eyes on him at that cheesy honky tonk bar. But it was funny how nervous you were, even though your experience with men put Joel’s to shame.

It was a lot like high school, in the way you danced around each other at first. A movie on your couch, with his arm draped along the back of it. Readjusting to ‘get comfy,’ inching, until the warmth of his body was pressed against yours and his arm dropped from the back of the couch to your shoulders.

His heartbeat was deafening, hard and fast, when you’d tucked your head against his chest. You moved your hand to his knee in the world’s most intense match of The Nervous Game and feared for his cardiovascular health.

He said your name, and like it was the magic word, every single facade crumbled around you in an instant.

His kisses made your head spin, and the way his thick thighs felt under your own was addictive, and it was over before either of you realized it had started. Two sets of soiled pants and underwear thrown into your washing machine, along with the last of the pretenses. And then you’d dragged him to your bed.

The sex wasn’t even your favorite part. The best was the morning after, and how you were plastered to his back as you woke up slow and easy. The way he held your arm to his stomach, even in his sleep. And the way you only got out of bed for food or bathroom breaks, a whole day with him, alone, uninterrupted.

Just as you started to worry that this was a one-time thing, at least for a while, Joel huffed beside you and nuzzled his head into your shoulder.

“I wanna come out. At least to Tommy ‘n Sarah. S’not right, keeping you a secret like this when you’ve been makin’ me so happy. I know you’d make them happy too.”

You stroked his hair, and asked if he was sure, and though his pretty brown eyes looked wide and scared, his jaw was set with a determined nod.

So you devised a plan. Or— Joel devised it, and asked for your input, and it all made you a bit giddy.

He had you over for dinner. Just as a friend, at first. He’d ordered pizza and stocked beer and told Tommy and Sarah he was having a friend over.

You wondered if Tommy would recognize you from the bar, but if he did, he didn’t show it. He just talked your ear off about Texas sports and old cars.

Sarah was… well, you understood why Joel could never seem to smile wide enough when he talked about her. She was so smart, and kind-hearted, and funny. You had a hard time keeping up, but the way Joel and Tommy were around her, you think she probably has that effect on most people.

It was a nice night, fun and easy conversation, good pizza, and a very competitive game of Boggle in which Sarah dominated.

And it was only a little bit difficult to spend the evening as just Joel’s friend, solely because of how easily you fit into his life. You wanted to scream it from the rooftops, that Joel wanted you to be a piece in his puzzle.

Sarah, so politely, excused herself to go to bed as it got later. The three of you left shuffled around, gathering game pieces and paper plates and empty cans, until you all eventually met back in the kitchen. Joel gave you a look, and you gave him a comforting smile right back, and it was like the room’s air was replaced with water as he spoke up.

“Tommy?”

“Mmhmm?”

The younger brother whipped around to face you both, sliding the leftovers into the fridge with a slice in his mouth.

“I uh… I wanted to let you know that I’m— that we’re, uh… Together?”

You watched as his dark eyes glazed over for a second, brow scrunched up in confusion. And then his gaze flickered from you to him, and back to you, and his eyes grew as big as saucers.

“No kiddin’?”

Joel laughed.

“Serious. He’s my… He’s my boyfriend.”

Tommy swallowed his mouthful of pizza, wiped his mustache, and smiled. A genuine smile, sweet and warm, reaching his eyes.

“Hermano, good for you. That’s— I’m happy for you.”

He opened his arms and tugged Joel into a hug, and Joel grumbled something about Tommy getting pizza grease on his clothes, but he was smiling wide and relieved over Tommy’s shoulder.

But then Joel’s face got serious again as Tommy pulled away with a manly slap to his shoulder.

“Sarah doesn’t know yet. I wanted to make sure everyone got along first, y’know?”

And then Tommy was looking at you and rolling his eyes and chuckling.

“Think we all get along just fine. You should tell her soon.”

And Joel knew Tommy was right, but it didn’t stop him from looking so anxious when Tommy left with another round of goodbye hugs.

“What are you most worried about?”

You asked him because you knew there were many things to fret over, in his situation.

“Just that… She’s had this idea of me this whole time, y’know? What if she sees me different, and then things change between us?”

And god, that made your throat feel thick, and Joel’s eyes got a little misty, so you pulled him tight against you and let him sag into your hold.

“I know the feeling,” you told him, “but I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“No?”

You huffed a laugh and tangled your fingers in the curls at the back of his neck.

“You mean everything to her. I can tell just by how she looks at you. Never seen a teenager like their dad that much.”

And he laughed too, a little wet against your shoulder.

“Will you be there with me when I tell her? I don’t— I don’t think I can do it alone.”

Your lips found his bristly cheek and planted a kiss there, and you mumbled of course into the salty skin.

So you went home, with plans to come back the next day. This wasn’t easy for you, either, dating a guy with a kid for the first time. You knew she liked you, at least, but that was a face value assessment. Would she mind you taking up more of her dad’s time? Would she mind you in their space every so often? Would she mind if you came around to her soccer games or science fairs or graduation, as her dad’s boyfriend, in front of all the other kids with nuclear families? Would she resent you for shaking up what they had?

You didn’t get much sleep, thinking about it. You wondered if you should bring her some kind of gift, flowers or a trinket or something, but then you’d be trying too hard, right?

As you got ready the next morning, you thought about all the ways it could go wrong, but none of them really seemed realistic. Sarah was sweet, and intelligent, and surely if she did have reservations, they’d be able to talk them through civilly.

Right?

You couldn’t even listen to music on your way to their house. It was a silent fifteen minute drive with your nerves boiling over and spilling out, thinking of how awkward things could get.

But all of that kind of fell to the wayside when Sarah answered the door and said “I haven’t seen you in forever” with a cheeky grin and those bright eyes she definitely got from Joel.

It felt cozy when you sat down at their kitchen table while they sipped their coffee and orange juice and Sarah told you both all about the English project she was working on. It put you at ease to ask her questions about things you have in common, and for all of you to mesh so well into a normal conversation.

But as it lulled, you noticed Joel getting restless, and you noticed Sarah noticing his uneasiness.

“Dad, you’re acting weird in front of our company.”

And while she was alway kind and respectful, she was still a teenager with a dorky dad.

“Well… I wanted to talk to you about somethin’.”

She looked at him with her head tilted and her eyebrow raised.

“Now?”

She nodded her head toward you as she asked, and you couldn’t blame her for being confused as to why he had to have a heart-to-heart with his ‘friend’ visiting.

“Yeah um… You know how you’re always tellin’ me I should get a life and start datin’?”

Sarah laughed and looked at you.

“Yeah, could you be his wingman? It’s getting sad.”

And you laughed, and Joel laughed, but it was a little forced, and Sarah’s smart, so you could read the confusion on her face.

“What’s this about, dad?”

Joel took a big, deep breath and took Sarah’s hand on the table. You watched her squeeze his fingers as her face twisted up in worry.

“He’s my— we’re dating. He’s my… boyfriend.”

The worry dissipated, and her eyes got wide and her lips pursed before her jaw slowly dropped with surprise.

“You guys are together?”

She looked over to you, then, and all you could do was give her a soft smile and nod.

“I know you might have some questions—”

“How long? When did you guys meet?”

She looked back to Joel to answer, but you could see he was still reeling, with sweat saturating the curls at his temples.

“Just a couple months ago, he taught me how to dance to the Boot Scootin’ Boogie.”

She made a noise, like a scoff, and it made you wince.

“Months!? Dad, why didn’t you tell me?”

You watched Joel’s eyes cloud with— fear? You’d never seen him look so scared.

“I’m sorry, babygirl. I just— I guess I didn’t know how. At first.”

His voice trembled, and you watched Sarah’s lip quiver before she shot out of her chair and lunged toward her dad, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“I love you,” she’d mumbled, like she knew it was what he needed to hear, because his shoulders slumped and his arms wrapped around her back.

You thought maybe you should look away. It felt real personal. But Joel had asked you to be here, and it was about you, too, as much as that fact made you want to burrow underground.

“You could have told me sooner. I love boy talk.”

Her voice was muffled and heavy with tears, but Joel chuckled all the same through his own misty gaze.

“I didn’t know you liked boys.”

She pulled away but didn’t go far, letting her hands squeeze his biceps as she looked to him for an answer.

“Me neither,” he shrugged, “I like this boy, though. A lot.”

And he got this goofy smile on his face, even though it was a little wet, and he looked at you, and you felt so awkward but so head over heels.

“Okay, well, you still should have told me. I would’ve been on the porch cleaning Uncle Tommy’s shotgun when he pulled up.”

Joel groaned and covered his face but you couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up out of you.

“What are your intentions with my father?”

And though her tone was joking, her eyes grew soft as she waited for an answer.

“I guess I just wanna make him happy. Because he makes me happy. If that’s alright with you?”

She sat back down and rested her chin in her hand, with her lips pursed again as she thought.

“Sarah, you can have time to think—”

“Deal.”

She extended her hand out to you from across the table, and you took it eagerly to shake on it. But after an appropriate amount of handshake time, she didn’t let your hand go.

“You have to come over for movie nights now.”

“I can do that.”

“And I have to make sure your taste in movies doesn’t suck before I let you pick one.”

“That’s fair.”

“ALSO—“

“Sarah,” Joel interrupted, “this isn’t how deals work. You can’t add stuff while he’s still shaking your hand.”

“As I was saying,” Sarah rolled her eyes, squeezing your hand tighter, “you have to treat him right. He acts all tough but he’s just a softy.”

“Oh Christ,” Joel huffed.

“No, she has a point,” you told him with a smirk, “I promise I will, Sarah.”

Her eyes narrowed at you, but then she grinned, and finally let go of your hand.

So yeah, you really really like Joel Miller. You’re never happier than you are when you spend the evening at his house, snuggled up on one side of him while Sarah’s snuggled up to the other, watching some movie Sarah’s usually the one to pick.

Or when you meet him and Tommy at Sarah’s soccer game, and he greets you with a smile and lifts the bill of your Miller Contracting hat you’ve stolen to peck your lips.

Or when you’re in your own kitchen, making his coffee, and you feel sleepy arms wrap around your waist and a sleep warm kiss at the nape of your neck.

Really, as long as you’re with Joel, you’re the happiest you’ve ever been. And if those three little words slip out one day soon, well, there isn’t a single thing that makes you think Joel would be surprised by them.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fluff #joel miller fanfic #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #OscarPedroPrideEvent2024

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trashogram · 2 days

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i’m gonna hop on the stolas hate train with you for a second. Do you know what i feel like he doesn’t get enough lashings for? His inability to see things from Blitzo’s point of view.

I’m sorry but despite being horrendously bad he is simultaneously one of most self absorbed characters ever. If he really loved Blitz to an up to par standard he’d be able to understand the HUGE power imbalance between them regardless of their feelings or time spent together. (might be a spoiler but i feel like you’ve seen it by now) but Blitz out burst to Stolas was super justified , i wouldn’t have done it personally, but i see where he’s coming from.

That moment itself was a rare vulnerable!blitz moment that stolas could’ve used to mend their relationship but instead he made it about Him AGAIN I CANT DO THIS😭😭😭 THEY SUCKKKK GOOD LORDD

I’m here to conduct this hate train, you’re more than welcome to come aboard.

Stolas has the characteristics of a Covert Narcissist (obviously he’s fictional, I can’t diagnose a fictional character or real person, but let’s tally it up shall we?):

Lack of Empathy — You hit that one

Sense of Entitlement — he thinks he’s entitled to Blitzø’s time and body, as well as Octavia’s unending patience and understanding when he fucks up and fucks around on her and their family)

Taking advantage of others for personal gain — the whole deal with the fuckdamn Grimoire

Hyper-focusing on fantasies of grandeur — Stolas is King Delusion thinking his obsession with Blitzø is at all equivalent to love, or even liking someone. He also deludes himself into thinking he knows his own child but he ignores her wants when she literally runs away from him on two separate occasions bc he’s not fucking listening to her.

Exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, arrogance, or subtle superiority — Ppl don’t clock this as much as they should but I’ve noticed and gagged at his belittling “pet names” for Blitzø (impish little plaything, itty bitty imp) and how when Moxxie and Millie try to speak to him, Stolas either treats them with disdain/like peasants or doesn’t even look at them when they speak! Not even bringing up how he uses his own imp staff as stress-relieving toys.

Highly sensitive to criticism — Can’t take being called out, has to cry and run away from the truth that Blitzø (and Stella and Octavia) are spitting

Victim Mentality — it’s everyone else in this damn bird’s life that’s to blame instead of himself. “I think so highly of you, I didn’t realize you thought so low of me.”

Fuck. You. Stolas.

I’m sorry this is a wild rant but to be fair it is the Stolas Hate Train (SHT, we should implement an I in there). Obviously I don’t hate his fans. Like what you like. Please. However, I may have some concerns over how young HB fans can get and how they don’t truly see how terribly this character is written because they accept the framing of Stolas as the poor victim in this situation at face value and don’t see it for what it really is, but I’m not their parents. And hopefully the younger audience will grow up and also think “ew”. At the very least.

I would like to know if the HB writers, and her majesty Vivienne Medrano, realize that they’re framing the Abuser in this situation as the victim but have dug this hole so deep that they just have to keep digging bc there’s no going back or if they genuinely think their targeted audience of adults don’t see through this or haven’t had to deal with abusive relationships themselves.

#helluva boss critical #anti stolas #anti Stolitz #I’m a full fucking anti for this ship now fucking hell #I’m sorry I will try to keep my complaints under wraps for the most part #but I was genuinely triggered #You don’t have to call me dumb and silly for it I already know

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redrose10 · 2 days

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Just something fluffy I’ve been thinking about…

“Oh wow, those are absolute beautiful!”, you exclaimed setting the grocery bags down on the counter. Walking over to get a better look at the large bouquet of tulips you couldn’t help but smile.

“You made a great choice. Tulips are my favorite flower too.”

Your best friend Yoongi walked over, “Yeah the florist did a great job.”

“So I got all the ingredients for the dinner. Luckily it’s pretty simple to make so we should be done in plenty of time for your date tonight.”, you said as you began pulling out the items.

When your best friend told you that he was planning on asking out this girl he really liked and he really wanted you to help him put together the perfect date you just couldn’t say no. Even if hearing that he was going to ask someone out that wasn’t you did cause your heart to hurt a little.

Yoongi had told you that this mystery girl loved tulips and since your favorite flower also happened to be tulips he had asked you to pick out a bouquet. Which you were happy to do.

Then he asked you to help him cook her favorite dinner for the occasion. You thought it was a little odd that his date also happened to love chicken alfredo and double fudge brownies just like you because what are the odds? You were just glad that it was a dish you were well versed in making so you knew she was going to love it.

The brownies were in the oven and the sauce was coming together so while you had a few minutes you encouraged Yoongi to go get dressed.

As he stood in front of you holding up two shirt options so you can help him pick which one looks best with his black dress pants,

“No I think the black shirt looks better. I’ve always told you that you look great in all black.”, you’d replied not noticing the blush creep up his cheeks.

“Put on some of that cologne you have. You know that really expensive Versace one. It smells so good.”, you shouted as he ran back to his room to finish getting ready.

You were finishing up the table setting when Yoongi finally returned. After setting the last wine glass down you looked up loosing your breath for a moment. Your crush on Yoongi has grown exponentially the last year. You never meant for it to be that way, but some things just happen. Seeing him look this handsome, putting this much effort into a date for another woman pained you, but also made you fall a little more in love with him. But you were determined to pushed that all aside just so he could be happy.

“How do I look?”, he asked spinning to give you a 360 view.

He had been working out more recently and it definitely showed by the way the fabric clung to his torso and biceps. The dress pants were tailored perfectly showing off his slim legs. He’d gotten away from wearing earrings lately but you noticed the two hoops you’d given him for Christmas two years ago. And he did put on a little of that cologne you loved. He looked like the man of your dreams.

“Like a chiseled statue of a Greek God carved by Michelangelo himself.”, you quipped.

“Wow Y/N you’re so weird.”, he snorted.

“But seriously, do you think it’s too much? I want her to like it.”

You put on your best fake smile, “You look great Yoongi. She’s going to think you look very handsome.”

The pasta finished boiling so you added it to the sauce and topped it with a little more cheese. The brownies were cooling on the rack and you reminded Yoongi about the vanilla ice cream in the freezer that you thought would be a nice touch.

“What time is she supposed to get here?”, you asked.

“Umm 7:00.”

You glanced at the clock and noticed it was flashing 6:58.

“Yoongi why didn’t you say something?! She’s gonna be here any minute and I don’t think she’s going to be happy to see me here.”, you said frantically running around trying to grab your things.

As you ran towards the door Yoongi followed close behind.

“Remember not to let the brownies cool in the pan too much or they might sink. And remember the ice cream.”

“Y/N”, he whispered.

“Oh and slice the chicken before adding it to the pasta. It looks nicer and will be easier to eat.”

“Y/N…”

“And show her the flowers when she first gets here. It’ll be a nice surprise. Remember to tell her she looks pretty too.”

“Y/N…”

“And most of all text me afterwards and let me know how it goes.”, you’d said finally getting your shoe on that you had been struggling with.

“Y/N wait!”, Yoongi finally shouted.

Turning around you looked surprised, “What? Yoongi I have to go before she get here.”

He chucked to himself, “Y/N, you can’t seriously be this oblivious?”

“What do you mean?”, you asked confused.

He walked over standing just a few inches away from you, “Y/N I had you get tulips that YOU picked out. They’re YOUR favorite flower. I had you help me cook YOUR favorite meal. I bought YOUR favorite bottle of wine. I had you help me pick out an outfit that YOU would like. I wore the cologne YOU like. I mean I thought I was being obvious but I guess not.”

Looking around the room it did kind of make sense. They were all things that were your favorites, but you were so hung up on the fact that you never thought Yoongi would ever like you that way so you really thought he had a date with someone else.”

You chuckled, “I mean I did notice some similarities, but I didn’t think you’d ever actually like me like that so I thought it was all one big coincidence.”

Yoongi took your hands into his. His thumb lightly running over a small burn you got from the brownie pan, “Y/N, I like you a lot. I have for a really long time. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I guess I was just hoping you’d get the hint. I’d really like to ask you to be an official couple.”

“You’re so adorable.”, you chuckled as you watched him nervously stare at the floor.

“Yes, of course. I’d love that.”, you smiled reaching over and placing a kiss on his lips.

As Yoongi served you the dinner you suddenly had a realization, “So you had me plan our first date and also go to the grocery store and help cook and I had to pick out my own flowers?”

Yoongi nervously scratched the back of his neck, “Yeah um both my smartest and dumbest decision. But at least I know you’ll like everything.”

“Wow you’re definitely doing all of the dishes.”, you laughed.

He leaned over giving you another kiss, “Already planned on it babe.”

#bts #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #min yoongi #bts fanfic #yoongi fic #yoongi x y/n #yoongi fluff #bts fluff #bts yoongi #yoongi #bts x reader #bts crack

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quibbs126 · 7 hours

Text

So I’ve been making this

So basically last night, I was listening to some music, specifically Not Gonna Die by Skillet, more specifically a version on YouTube with the intro (because I’m not the biggest fan of Good to be Alive where the intro actually is). Anyways, when it’s night, my imagination tends to be more active and I tend to have more energy. While listening to the song, I eventually got this mental image in my mind of this scene with Dark Choco, and the more it crystallized the more I wanted to draw it. I was going to go to sleep and maybe do it in the morning, but I realized that I probably would forget the vibe and not have as much energy, so instead I decided to power through and draw the idea

It was a bit difficult since I had limited references for the pose I wanted, and I suppose I can admit the sword looks a bit off anatomically, but it looks good enough I think, and lets me keep the eyes revealed

I did eventually have to stop drawing, because my iPad had been worked all the way down to 4% (and it was at 30% when I started, the poor thing), not to mention it was around 11:30 already which is pretty late for me, and my earbuds had been running nonstop for over 2 hours (yes I was listening to the same song, it’s how I keep the vibe). I was at least able to get the pose, base colors and lineart done, and I’m still pretty proud of where I left things last night

Today was mostly just doing the background and lighting, which admittedly I may have fumbled. I’m not very good at backgrounds and I didn’t know how to draw lightning. I tried my best, but honestly I don’t think I got the image in my head. Didn’t help that my brain was playing the wrong Skillet song this morning

Oh yeah and by the way, the background is supposed to be from this. That’s what I used as reference

The lightning both feels like too much and too little. Like, it’s crowding the picture, and I can’t have more because it’d be way too crowded with it, but also at the same time, it doesn’t feel like enough, like there isn’t as much power as I wanted

Actually wait, maybe I can add some small particle effects to like, enhance the lightning feel. That was in the original sketch but I omitted it in the final. If you see one with that, you know I did that

Edit: I did indeed do that

To be fair though, I don’t think I have the art skill to properly convey the image in my head. Basically the scene is that Dark Choco is using absolutely every amount of his power for this final swing down, so much that it’s too powerful and the Strawberry Jam Sword completely shatters. But also it’s too powerful that Dark Choco’s body simply can’t handle it, and he basically ends up exploding. The scene depicted would be the wind up to that final swing that destroys the both of them

This isn’t necessarily the first time I’ve come up with this scenario, and the setup would basically be that he turned on the Cookies of Darkness slightly earlier, because he didn’t want to destroy his homeland again, and he tried to get rid of them while in the kingdom but not yet at the Citadel, but he ended up failing, so with nothing to lose, he chases after them and decides to put everything into destroying them, even if it likely ends in his death. After this he probably killed Pomegranate and crippled Licorice in some way (I don’t think he’d attack Poison Mushroom), so his final act did have some effect, but he’s still dead by the end of it. And he and his father never got the chance to properly reconcile because Dark Choco thought that could never be a possibility anymore and he had resigned himself to his fate

But yeah, I just don’t know how to convey that sheer overwhelming power and emotion that this scenario suggests. I tried my best though

I also want to submit this to the Dark Cacao Forever contest, but I’m not sure if it’s good enough for it. What do you think?

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #dark choco cookie #my art #I really did try hard and this and it does look better than most of my others #but I don’t know if it’s really that good or anything

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ladykailitha · 8 hours

Text

Paper Hearts Part 6

The sequel is coming along great I just have one more part to do and it'll be done. Sweet Home Indiana is nearing its end too.

Heads up! I will be going on vacation on Tuesday and won't be back until next week. So no WIP Wednesday this week as that is the day of my niece's graduation and I will be away from laptop all day.

I will still be uploading chapters and should be able to do WIP Wednesday next week. But if not I'll let you know.

In this we have the Corroded Coffin boys being silly and a wild Dustin appears.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

****

Eddie rolled up to band practice fashionably late as always. The other three boys were doing a sound check and making sure everything was in order.

Gareth looked up first. “Did you bring the hearts?” he asked excitedly.

Eddie held up his bag and the other boys cheered.

“So how are we going to do this?” Eddie asked flopping on the sofa after gently setting his sweetheart to the side. “Do we want to do the hearts first or practice first?”

They all look around at each for a moment.

“Let’s get the heart thing out of the way,” Jeff suggested, “get it out of the way so we can focus on practicing.”

“Sounds good to me, man,” Gareth said. “In case practice runs over or some shit.”

Eddie pulled his backpack closer and began digging through it. He pulled out the hearts that he’d put in a plastic baggie so they wouldn’t get bent in the maw that was his bag.

He tossed the bag onto the table in front of them and then dug around for his notebook. He pulled it out with a bunch of pens.

“You don’t have to,” he murmured, “but I’d recommend changing up your handwriting a couple of times so he doesn’t realize they’re from the same four people.”

“We were doing anonymous and initials, right?” Brian asked, picking up the bag and opening it up.

Eddie lit up, a huge smile on his face. “I actually had an idea about that. I was thinking of famous groups with four dudes in it and I thought it would be hilarious if we mixed it up a bit with some of those to avoid the whole repetition thing.”

Jeff licked his top lip. “Show us what you’ve got,” he said jutting out his chin.

He opened up his notebook and flipped to the right page. “Alright, so I was thinking the Three Musketeers plus D’Artagnan.”

“Who would be who?” Gareth asked, wrinkling his nose.

“Gareth is absolutely D’Artagnan,” Brian said without hesitation. “No question.”

Jeff straightened up and looked over at him in confusion. “Why’s that?”

“Because my dearest Jeffy,” Eddie said with a grin, “because he’s the youngest and not an original member. Therefore D’Artagnan.”

Gareth and Brian glanced at each. Brian shrugged and Gareth blinked a moment or two before he shrugged, too.

“Yeah, that tracks.”

“I’ll take Aramis,” Eddie said with a grin. “The smooth talker with religious trauma.”

The other boys just cackled.

“I’ll be Porthos,” Brian said. “The compulsive liar with a flare for the dramatic.”

“Why am I left with the dude with serious romantic wo–” Jeff stopped. “Right, scratch that. I’m Athos.”

They cackled again. Eddie had had some wild crushes, but it was nothing on Jeff. He even had a slightly tragic love story. He’d actually dated Vicki Carmichael before she became a popular kid and hanging out with Steve’s crowd. They had both loved metal music, but Jeff was pretty sure she stopped listening to it once she joined the cool kids.

“And I have a list of other ones too,” Eddie said breaking into the resulting silence. “The four winds from Greek mythology. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...um...let’s see...” he looked at the notebook again. “The members of Metallica. The four horsemen of the apocalypse–”

Jeff winced. “Probably not that one, man. It’s for Valentine’s day and that kinda screams the opposite.”

Eddie blinked at him for a moment and then scratched out that idea. “Fair enough.”

“The four hobbits from Lord of the Rings?” Gareth suggested.

“Yes!” Brian cried. “I get to be Samwise!”

Jeff cackled. “Gareth and Eddie are sooo Merry and Pippin!”

“Oh god! Yes! Which one is which, though?” Brian said joining in the laughter.

“I’m Merry, of course,” Eddie said proudly. “I’m the instigator and Gareth goes where I lead.”

Gareth grumped in the corner, crossing his arms and glaring at all of them. “But that makes Jeff Frodo though.”

Jeff straightened up, smug. “I could handle that.”

Eddie shook his head at his friends. “All right, also on my list are the Ghostbusters and The A-Team.”

The other boys shook their heads at either suggestion but they had a pretty good list anyway. Plus their D&D names sprinkled in here and there and they’ve got in the bag.

They spent the next half hour coming up with nice things about Steve. Eddie did have nix a couple of their ideas because they came off as stalker-esque. Which was not the look they were going for.

****

To say that Eddie got a kick out of seeing Steve light up every time he opened his locker and more pink hearts fluttered out of it was an understatement.

The goofy smile the former jock got on his face was worth every second of the time they’d spent on the project.

And it was working, too. That was the really impressive part.

Even Tommy H. was baffled.

“How the hell are you getting so many pink hearts, Harrington?” he said on Friday, just four days into Eddie’s plan.

Steve shrugged in that dorky way that made Eddie’s heart stop. “I guess people are deciding to hell with social constructs and stupid cliques and are telling me even if they don’t dare to be open about that they still like me.”

Tommy’s mouth open and closed like a goldfish then he turned around and stormed off.

Eddie lean against the lock above Steve. “Back to being king again, huh, Stevie?”

“Not really,” he said, closing his locker and standing up. “Most of them are anonymous or fake names. But there are a few that real names.”

“You think someone is stuffing the ballot box as it were?” Eddie asked, worried the jig was up.

Steve shook his head. “At least I don’t think so. But it’s sad that they think they have to hide who they are to tell me that they still think I’m a cool dude or whatever.”

“For what it’s worth,” Eddie said, pushing off from the locker, “I think you’re a pretty cool dude.”

Steve blushed and mumbled his thanks.

God, did Eddie just want to bite those flushed cheeks. They were just too cute.

“It’s worth a lot, actually,” Steve whispered. He stood up and shouldered his backpack. “Catch you later, Eds.”

Shit that little nickname had Eddie’s heart doing overtime.

****

Steve was outside the middle school waiting for Dustin to come out. His mom had asked Steve to pick him because she had to stay after hours at work for a meeting.

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he hummed to the music in his head. He could have turned on the radio but Dustin hated his music didn’t like him blaring it for the whole school to hear.

His eyes kept flicking to the rearview mirror to see his backpack on the backseat. He wanted to go over the ones he got today. There had been some really good ones. Ones that melted his insides and turned them to goo.

He bit his lip and checked the mirror again. He looked at his watch and he still had a couple minutes until the bell rang.

Steve whirled around and grabbed the bag. He ripped it open and pulled out his trapper keeper. Tucked in the front pocket were the hearts. He ran his fingers over the outline the hearts made on the plastic pocket.

He pulled out the hearts and read over each one. Tracing the names of the givers, thinking about each name and wondering where they were from.

There was a thump on his window startling him. He looked up to see Dustin making faces at him through the glass.

Steve shook his head and unlocked the passenger door to let the twerp in.

“Looking at pink hearts, Steve?” Dustin asked with the shake of his head. “So pathetic.”

Steve rolled his eyes and tried to put the hearts back in the folder, but Dustin snatched them from him and wouldn’t let him take them back.

“Come on, man!” Steve whined. “They’re none of your business.”

“I want to see which girls are giving the Steve Harrington Valentine’s hearts,” Dustin said, wagging his eyebrows.

“Dude, give it up,” he growled. “The pink hearts are friendship hearts, the red ones are the romantic ones. So give it back.”

The younger teen cocked his head to the side and said, “No.”

Steve folded his arms and glared at him.

“Aren’t you going to take me home?” Dustin asked after they sat in silence for a minute or two.

“Not until you give them back.”

Dustin just shrugged. “It’s your funeral if we get home after my mom does.”

Steve threw his arms in the air, but turned the engine and started the car toward the Hendersons.

“These are actually really sweet, Steve,” Dustin said after a couple of minutes. “I like the idea of friendship hearts. That way you don’t accidentally send the wrong message.”

Steve just shrugged.

“You do know that some of these are fake names, right?”

Steve rolled his eyes and dared to look over at him. “Yes, of course I do. I am familiar with D’Artagnan after you named a fucking demodog after him, thanks.”

Dustin cocked his head to the side and then shrugged. “That’s fair. What you probably don’t know is that Aramis, Porthos, and Athos are the names of the Three Musketeers.”

Steve pursed his lips and nodded. “That’s cool.” They hit a stop sign and Steve looked over and pulled out one. “What about this one? Tommy H. thinks it’s short for Kassie, but none of the girls at our school spell it like that.”

Dustin took the heart and looked at it. “Kas. Kas. Yeah, okay. That does sound familiar. Can I get back to you on that one?”

“Sure thing, bud.”

Steve pulled up to curb to let Dustin out. “You got your key? If you don’t, you can hang out with me until your mom gets home.”

Dustin began rummaging around in his bag and Steve snatched the hearts away before he could bend them.

The kid pulled out his keys with a triumphant, “Eureka!”

Steve shook his head. “You are such a dweeb. Go on, get.”

“Bye, Steve!”

“Next time say thank you, asshole!” Steve called out the window.

Dustin turned around and gave him the double middle finger.

Steve shook his head and drove off. Why he loved that kid, he had no idea.

When he got home he pulled out the little notebook and placed the pink hearts in with the rest. All but the one from Kas. Those he kept in his wallet. He really couldn’t place why. There was just something about what they said that made him feel warm and not in the fuzzy friendship way that the others did.

There was the first one:

-Stevie I like the way you’re kind even when it doesn’t benefit you. Kas

Which Steve loved but the others were just as sweet.

-Stevie You have a great laugh, you don’t have to hide it. Kas

-Stevie That shirt today really brings out the color in your eyes. Kas

And Steve’s personal favorite:

-Stevie Each day is brighter because you’re in it. Kas

There was one for each day he got hearts in his locker so he assumed it was all the same person.

He slid it next to the other three hearts in the billfold portion of his wallet and put the wallet next to his keys on his desk. Then he put the little notebook back, careful to make sure it was well hidden.

He wasn’t sure what his dad would do about the mementos but Steve really didn’t want to find out.

He was really going to miss getting the hearts over the weekend. They really had become the highlight of his day.

He sighed and buckled down to work on his homework. It wasn’t as though he had anything better to do with his time. He wasn’t invited to any parties, he didn’t have friends to hang out with, and the people who would hang with him were fourteen year olds and they all had bedtimes.

He briefly thought about calling Eddie, but the guy had friends, unlike Steve and was probably doing something with them. Probably that nerd game that Eddie had a club for.

He buried his head in his hands.

Steve sighed. Fuck his life was depressing as shit.

With another sigh, he resigned himself to another lonely weekend.

****

Tag List: CLOSED

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

@spectrum-spectre @slv-333 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie

@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi

@val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @vecnuthy

@irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee

@awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76

@scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @fullpoetrybread

@disrespectedgoatman @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @moonshadows-13 @skyewaytohell

@swimmingbirdrunningrock @croatoan-like-its-hot @lolawonsstuff @lololol-1234 @dotdot-wierdlife

@ravenfrog @dauntlessdiva @thelittleclare @steddieyourself @dam28lh

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #post season 2 #valentine's fic

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lau219 · 3 days

Text

Enemies with Benefits

Part 11

Previous part here

***!!!Warning: Mentions of a gun, violence!!!***

..........................................................................................

“I’m sorry, Mr. Dresker; there seems to be some confusion. Did Steve give you some sort of indication before he left that I’m an idiot?”

Y/N was sitting behind her desk and staring at the man who was occupying one of the seats across from her. She crossed her legs as she waited for him to respond.

“Excuse me?” he asked.

“Well, the only conclusion I can come to as to why you think I would agree to any of these prices is because Steve told you that I’m a naïve idiot,” Y/N said. “Although, I find that very hard to believe, seeing as he and I have done business together for the last eight years.”

She maintained a look of cool composure as she awaited another reply from the man who was her new liquor rep, having taken the place of her previous rep who’d recently retired. He had come into her office with the obvious mentality that, due to the fact that she was a woman, she was unaware and not very business savvy. He was currently trying to convince her that the pricing sheet he’d given her with numbers higher than what she knew were current was accurate.

“Steve never called you an idiot, Miss Y/L/N,” Dresker replied.

“So, you made that assumption on your own, then?” she said.

He shook his head.

“Of course not; I’m merely sharing our current price points with you and trying to make sure you get what you need before your shelves are empty.”

Turning her chair slightly, Y/N looked to Tommy, who was casually reclined in the other chair opposite her desk, his ankle over his knee. He’d remained silent up until this point, and Y/N cocked her head as she looked at him.

“So considerate, isn’t he, Mr. Shelby?” she said sarcastically.

Tommy met her eyes, and inwardly, he smiled. On the outside, however, his expression remained neutral.

“Quite,” Tommy agreed with her. He then turned to Dresker and continued speaking, addressing him now instead of Y/N. “Although I’m afraid that your underestimation of my manager here has overshadowed any good intentions you say you have, mate.”

As he’d said, “my manager”, Tommy had gestured his hand towards Y/N, and Dresker looked between the two of them, clearly trying to decide which one of them he should address next.

“No one’s being underestimated,” he said as his eyes darted from Tommy to Y/N, and then back again.

“Really?” Y/N spoke again. “Then why is it that the numbers you’ve shared with me here are fifteen percent higher than the costs you gave the four restaurants on Main Street that also get their liquor from your company?”

As she��d said that, she’d folded the pricing sheet he’d given her in half and tossed it back across her desk. After she’d spoken, Dresker had raised his eyebrows in surprise that she had that knowledge.

“Businesses talk to each other around here, Mr. Dresker – I have relationships with my colleagues. And I happen to know that these numbers you’re quoting me are different than what you presented to them,” Y/N said to him. “Now, we can either cut the crap and you offer me the same prices as you did to the others, or I can completely transfer our business to my back-up supplier who’s helped us in the past when your company has been out of stock of certain items.”

Dresker’s eyes widened again momentarily before he turned to Tommy and spoke.

“Wouldn’t a change like that be your call, as the owner?” he asked him.

Tommy cocked his head.

“Miss Y/L/N and I make decisions together here, Mr. Dresker,” Tommy replied, highly annoyed that he’d been so disrespectful to Y/N as to ask that question, especially right in front of her.

Tommy glanced at Y/N and their eyes met briefly before he looked back to the man in the chair next to him and continued.

“In fact,” he said, “I leave it solely to her most of the time, as she’s been skillfully running this place since long before I came into the picture. But all that aside, the fact of the matter is that you’ve still quoted us prices that are higher than what you’ve offered elsewhere. I doubt that your superiors would be happy to find out that you lost a loyal client of eight years because you decided to get cocky.” He paused. “You do work on partial commission, yeah?”

Now looking like a contestant in the hot seat, Dresker slowly nodded his head as he realized he’d been bested.

“Well, ball’s in your court, mate,” Tommy finished as he stood from his chair and headed to walk out, stopping as he grabbed the handle on Y/N’s office door. “But I recommend you start over, and try to get on Miss Y/L/N’s good side. Trust me, on her bad side is not a place you want to be.”

Looking at Y/N over Dresker’s head, Tommy gave her a wink before he then opened the door to her office and headed back out into the club.

•.•.•.•.•

“Seriously, love, what are you doing in this industry? You missed your calling as a closer.”

It was later that night – well, 3:00 a.m. the next morning – when Tommy and Y/N finally had the chance to regroup after their meeting that afternoon with Dresker.

Tommy had had to head to his office across town after their meeting to get some work done, but he’d returned to the club later that evening and spent a few hours going over the books in Y/N’s office. After that, he then made his way to the bar and occupied his usual seat at the far end. While she worked that evening, Y/N would stop by Tommy periodically between tasks, and the two of them had begun creating a schedule and itinerary of sorts for the evaluation of the other clubs Tommy had purchased. While the music wasn’t overwhelmingly loud, Y/N had had to lean across the bar multiple times to get closer to Tommy so that they could hear each other better, and there was no denying how much electricity they each felt when lips were skimming skin as they spoke into each other’s ears.

Now, Y/N just smiled at him over her shoulder as she was replacing a few bottles on the shelf, and Tommy continued.

“Screw this entire club thing,” he said. “You should be working at my office instead. I could use you for business deals.”

Y/N smiled again.

“Nice try, Shelby, but I’m not leaving this job, or abandoning our bet,” she said. “You may have stolen this place from me, but I’m getting it back.”

His expression becoming more serious, Tommy tilted his head.

“I didn’t steal it from you, Y/N. Are you really gonna keep thinking of it that way?”

Y/N fully turned to look at him.

“Well, the way you went about it sure made it feel that way,” she said. “And although you told Dresker that we make decisions together, you have yet to actually consult me on anything. You decided without me that we could no longer give any freebies, and you pulled that shit with the lights. You’ve done everything behind my back, and then expect me to think of it as a favor you’ve done.”

Tommy released a deep breath, bothered by the fact that she still felt this way about everything. He thought she’d come around to being OK with what had happened, but she obviously still had some resentment.

“I told you, love, that was never how I meant it. I’ve only ever tried to put you in a better position.”

Y/N held his eyes intently.

“You need to find a better way to go about it, then,” she replied. “Because how you currently function makes you seem greedy and dishonest, and like you don’t care about people.”

Frowning, Tommy stepped back from the counter and then walked around to the other side, moving to behind the bar and stopping several feet away from Y/N, their eyes connecting again as he spoke.

“Is that really how you see me, love?” he asked her.

Looking back at him, Y/N tilted her head. She opened her mouth and was about to speak, but before she could, they were startled by an ear-piercing bang towards the front of the club.

Both of them whipping their heads towards the noise, they had absolutely no time to even register what was happening before another identical sound rang out, preceding only a second before a man holding a gun appeared from around the corner and strode into the main bar area. Quickly, as he realized what was happening, Tommy tried moving closer towards Y/N to pull her behind him, but she’d already dashed away.

“Y/N!” Tommy called as she became out of his reach, and he saw her dart to the counter at the end of the bar to reach for her phone. But as soon as she grabbed it, she just as quickly dropped it, her hands shaking so wildly that it slipped from her fingers and landed on the floor several feet away. She moved to retrieve it, but another shot rang out as the man fired his gun again, Y/N shrieking in fear as the bullet whizzed past her dangerously close and hit a bottle on the back bar near where she was standing. Glass shattered everywhere and several additional bottles fell to the floor as her heart raced. Tommy looked at her, his heart pounding as he saw how narrowly the bullet had missed her, and he tried to get closer to her as she screamed.

“Don’t move!” the man shouted, still holding up his gun and aiming it at them again.

Tommy reluctantly froze, his eyes darting to Y/N, but as she took a final step to steady herself, one of the bottles on the floor rolled under her foot, and she yelped again as she slid on it and tripped, falling against the counter, her ankle sprained. The commotion she created startled the man enough to cause him to shoot again, and Y/N cried out a short scream as she ducked. Tommy’s heart still pounding, he quickly shouted as he saw that the man was still aiming the gun towards Y/N.

“HEY!” he called, and the man turned, quickly refocusing on Tommy, aiming at him as they stared at each other. Still ducked down, Y/N quickly dropped the rest of the way to the floor, sliding down the wall of the back bar and landing roughly on her butt, her ankle throbbing.

“Put your hands on the bar!” the man shouted at Tommy, who could see Y/N down on the floor out of the corner of his eye. Before he raised his hands in compliance, he quickly reached his flattened palm out in gesture to Y/N, indicating to her to stay down. He then slowly lifted his hands up and laid them on the bar top.

“What do you want, man?” Tommy calmly said, trying to keep the guy’s focus on him. As he spoke, Y/N looked up from below and saw Tommy’s face remaining neutral as he got the guy’s attention. Her heart was pounding, worried that Tommy’s attempt to temper the guy would lead to him getting hurt, or worse, shot.

“Where’s the register? Where’s the money? You just closed up, didn’t you?” the man asked, his shouting a stark contrast to Tommy’s calm tone.

Wincing at his volume, Y/N lowered her head again, and as she did, she saw her phone laying on the floor a few feet away, near where Tommy was standing. Slowly, and trying to be as quiet as possible, she shifted onto her hands and knees.

“It’s back here, mate,” Tommy said, still looking at the guy. “But it requires a PIN to open. You’re gonna have to let me move if you want me to open it for you.”

As Tommy spoke, Y/N began slowly crawling towards her phone, and Tommy could see her movements out of the corner of his eye. He silently prayed that she wouldn’t do anything stupid, noticing she clearly had an intention of some kind as she kept crawling closer.

The man took a few steps closer to the bar, his gun still raised, as he responded to Tommy.

“Open it up,” he said to him with a nod and then a jerk of his head, indicating to the register over Tommy’s shoulder.

Slowly, Tommy turned around, and as he did, he lowered his eyes to see Y/N crawl a few more feet across the broken glass on the floor before slowly reaching out with one hand and grabbing her phone, which he now realized was on the floor near his feet. He continued to move intentionally slowly, entering the PIN for the register on the digital screen and then pushing the button to open the drawer.

“It’s all yours, mate,” Tommy said, speaking loudly to try and allow Y/N to whisper without being heard. He intentionally jostled the drawer a bit and made the coins jingle in order to create even more noise.

As Tommy moved and spoke to the guy, Y/N silently opened the screen on her phone and dialed 911. As soon as the operator had answered, she waited until Tommy made noise above her before she whispered into the phone.

“Robbery. Guy has a gun.” She then waited again until Tommy made more noise before whispering their address. She then lowered the phone from her mouth, keeping the call active and silencing the ringer as she set it back down on the floor. As she looked up again, Tommy’s gaze lowered to her once more, and their eyes briefly met before the man with the gun shouted again.

“Hurry up! Now!”

Reaching into the till and pulling out all the cash, Tommy then grabbed the vinyl zip pouch kept next to the register. Slowly turning around, he laid it all on the bar top as he looked at the guy once again.

“Here ,” he said.

Still pointing the gun at him, the guy shouted again.

“Bring it to me!” he said to Tommy, but Tommy remained still.

“You’re the one with the gun, mate,” he said as he looked at him and shook his head once. “I’m not making any sudden movements.”

Narrowing his eyes, the man evaluated Tommy for just another moment before he jerked the gun in a gesture again.

“Put your hands where I can seem them!” he barked at Tommy.

Slowly raising his hands in the air, Tommy remained otherwise still as the guy slowly approached the bar, gun still aimed. Once he reached the counter, he looked at Tommy for just a moment before lowering one of his hands from the gun as he reached out for the stacks of bills in front of them and began hurriedly stuffing them into the vinyl pouch.

Tommy watched the guy for just a moment before quickly looking down to Y/N once more, who was huddling as close to the bar as she could in order to remain unseen. Returning his eyes to the robber, Tommy waited until the guy had lowered his head more while grabbing the money, and then he reached down and quickly grabbed a full, heavy bottle of liquor from below the rail.

In one forceful swing, Tommy lifted the bottle and then brought it crashing down over the guy’s head, glass shattering and liquid exploding everywhere as the guy shouted out and dropped his gun, which landed on the floor somewhere. Y/N winced again and covered her head with her arms as the debris fell down around her.

Immediately, Tommy’s arm then flew outward as he followed up his assault with a powerful blow to the guy’s face. Shouting out, the man stumbled and fell backwards, the punch enough to knock him out, and he landed roughly on the floor, slamming down onto his back.

Once he saw that the guy was unconscious, there was a brief moment of silence before Tommy slowly turned his head, looking down at Y/N who was several feet away and still clinging to the bar. Somewhere in the distance, the sound of sirens became more and more prominent as they approached, and Y/N looked up at Tommy, meeting his eyes as her body was trembling.

Tommy quickly took the steps to get to her, and then he immediately bent down and reached out, securing his arms under hers and pulling her up off the floor. As she reached standing position, Y/N wobbled on her feet slightly as Tommy held her. She raised her head to look in his eyes, and they stared at each other for just a moment before she let out a sob and Tommy pulled her against him.

His arms wrapping around her, Y/N uncontrollably released another sob as she willingly fell against him as the tears began running from her eyes. Hugging him back, she felt his grip protectively tighten around her, and he pressed his cheek against her temple as he spoke quietly to her.

“It’s alright, love,” Tommy said, his voice steady and soothing. “It’s alright now. I’ve got you.”

@nyxxie-pooh @xsweetcatastrophe @betty21rose @allie131313 @febris-amatoria

@beastofburdenxo @hannibellector @meister95 @fairytale07 @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree

@hudson-bay-girl @garrison-girl-08 @devotedlyshadowytheorist @natalie--rushman @galactict3a

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@runnning-outof-time @neonpurplestars89-blog @aphroditeslover11 @peskybinders @yay-im-fucking-trash

@k1ng-l3on @shaddixlife

#modern tommy shelby x reader #modern tommy shelby #modern tommy shelby x female reader #modern tommy #modern tommy fic #modern tommy shelby smut #cillian murphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy smut #cillian fic #18+ only

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separatist-apologist · 2 days

Text

Never Not Mine

Summary: Elain Archeron has been betrothed to the seventh born son of Autumn for as long as she can remember. With her family's reputation in the balance, Elain is resigned to her fate.

That doesn't mean she has to like it…or that she has to make it easy for him.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3| Read on AO3

Elain knew she’d gotten Ayla into some trouble. For a month, her friend had been locked away in her family's chambers and when she returned, Elain noticed she winced every time she sat down.

You’re making a mess of everything, she thought morosely when Ayla wouldn’t make eye contact with her at all. Arina had retreated back into the library, leaving Elain to return to her overrun garden. She’d begun sketching it out crudely in a journal, trying to map out where things would go so she wasn’t planting blind.

Elain’s garden was the only place she felt true peace anymore. Spending time around Lucien was beginning to feel unbearable—something hot built in her throat if they were around each other too long, spilling into angry words that she couldn’t take back. Elain didn’t know why she couldn’t just be nicer or why the sight of him frustrated her the way it did.

Lucien had given her another gift just that morning—a pretty set of pearl combs she’d thanked him for before tossing them into a drawer that was increasingly becoming dedicated to the things he purchased for her. Lucien was trying, in his way. Everything he gave her was thoughtful and generous—Elain loved the simple elegance of pearls set into silver combs.

They weren’t good for gardening, at any rate—that was what she told herself as she tied a scarf around her head and headed out, prepared for another long day of ripping out weeds until she couldn’t take the seeping cold. She wasn’t alone today. There, hanging around the gates, stood Tanwen.

“Come to help?” she asked, certain he wasn’t there for any particular reason.

“Why not,” he replied, opening the iron for her before following just behind. “What do you need from me?”

“You could rip up that tree?” she suggested, pointing toward a sapling that was more weed than anything. “Or loosen up the soil with your magic?”

“Why not both?” he replied with a lopsided smile. For a while they worked in silence, digging up a pile of weeds they tossed in the center of the garden alongside all Elain’s ruined rocks. It was nice to have Tanwen there, if only to provide a little muscle when she didn’t want to exert herself so much.

“So,” Tanwen began when the skies began to darken and a gloomy fog started to roll over the hillside from the cursed forest. “Have you seen Ayla?”

It took Elain a moment to absorb his words. “I see her, but I don’t speak to her. I think she’s angry with me.”

“Ah,” Tanwen said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I should take these to the stables, if you’ll…excuse me.”

Elain watched him go, hair blowing in a vicious wind. Was he asking because he’d been the one to carry her in, or because he wanted to hear more about her? Elain couldn’t be sure. It was wrong to meddle when she’d already been the cause of Ayla’s suffering and yet…

“Lucien,” Elain breathed later that night, greeting her husband sitting in a chair in the bedroom, book in hand. His eyes found her nails, caked with dirt and cracked again. Lucien’s mouth drew into a deep frown, though he said nothing.

Smart, she praised silently.

“Wife,” he replied, as if reminding her of exactly what she was to him. Elain knew they were on borrowed time—at some point she was going to have to get over herself and have sex with him. How long, she wondered? Another month, perhaps? Two? Lucien didn’t want her unwilling, but Elain couldn’t imagine a scenario in which she went to him gladly, either.

“We never had a celebration,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed once she was done with her hands.

“Why would we?” he replied, turning the page of his book without looking at her.

“Why wouldn’t we? Everyone else gets one.”

Lucien glanced up. “You want to celebrate wedded bliss?” he questioned.

Truthfully, no. It would require the two of them to be together all night, touching and dancing and smiling. Elain took a breath. “Yes, I want that. Will you ask your mother to organize it?”

Lucien stared long and hard, as if he could read her thoughts simply by willing it. Elain was careful to leave herself casual, though it did no good.

“What are you up to?”

“Nothing,” she replied, heart picking up speed. “I just…think it’s strange we haven’t.”

Lucien took a breath. “Does this mean I can expect you to crawl into bed with me that night?”

“I get in bed with you every night,” she snapped, immediately annoyed. Elain didn’t bother mentioning that they were getting a little too accustomed to sleeping beside each other. She’d woken in the middle of the night to find Lucien’s arm flung over her stomach as he drooled into a pillow.

“You keep your night clothes on.”

They were in dangerous territory. “What are you demanding of me?”

Lucien ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I’m demanding nothing. You’re the one who wants to celebrate our marriage and I…” And he was simply a male. He wanted the right to touch her and perhaps considered this a good negotiation point.

“Don’t host it, then,” Elain said, turning back to the bathroom as a means to escape him. She slammed the door behind her, back against the wood as she listened for his response.

“Cauldron boil me,” he mumbled, but Lucien did nothing else. Even after Elain took a long bath, hoping he might find some other way to amuse himself, but when she came out, hair freshly braided and mostly dried, Lucien was already in bed. He seemed asleep, back facing her as it rose and fell in a steady, fluid motion. He’d pulled his hair out of the strap he’d been wearing, allowing it to cascade over his shoulders and Elain considered, not for the first time, what it might be like to let him touch her. To be curtained with the waterfall of auburn hair, to feel the muscles of his back shift as he moved…

Touch him, a little voice whispered. Elain panicked, drawing her fingers into a fist before sliding them under her body to keep her from doing so. What was wrong with her? The urge had come from nowhere, the instinct to run her finger down the length of his spine so overwhelming that Elain’s hands shook from the effort it took not to touch him.

It was his closeness, she decided as she settled into bed. His male presence and her instinctual response. Nothing more. Still, it took Elain a long time to sleep as a familiar vision crowded behind her vision.

Go away, she demanded. She didn’t want another image of Lucien’s naked form writhing atop her as her mind forced her to contend with what might be if she just gave in. He didn’t want her and Elain would be damned if she made the first move. Or second…or hundredth, actually. She woke a little before him, dressed herself, and made her way down to breakfast before Lucien could speak to her at all.

So she was surprised when the Lady of Autumn came to her, face beaming with joy. “I heard you wanted a celebration,” she said in that sweet voice of hers. The voices in the room fell to a near whisper as everyone listened in, the excitement in the room palpable.

“I would,” Elain said, wanting so badly to be the daughter The Lady of Autumn—Amera—wanted her to be. She saw the way Amera fawned over Arina, who allowed it with glowing cheeks and shiny eyes. Elain bet Arina let Amera throw her a party the morning after, even if she spent the night torturing Eris with a knife.

Elain didn’t want to think about the implications there.

Amera clapped pale, delicate hands together. “Oh, how lovely. It’ll take a bit of time to put together…would you like to help?”

“Yes,” Elain breathed, forgetting why she wanted to do this in the first place. Her own mother could be cold, calculated and careful. There had never been much warmth even for her favorites, and Elain often felt intimidated around her mother. Amera exuded the kind of warmth she’d often wished for as a child. If Amera had asked her to commit a murder, Elain was certain she would have picked up a sword and marched beneath the Lady of Autumn’s banner.

Not that Elain knew how to use a weapon. Perhaps Tanwen could teach her.

Or your husband.

“Should we get started?” Amera asked.

Elain couldn’t suppress her grin. “Nothing would delight me more.”

LUCIEN:

“How do you stand it?” Lucien demanded, interrupting Eris and Cadmus in their private parlor.

“Looking at you?” Eris replied dryly, eyes flicking up from his cards. “I manage.”

Lucien growled, earning a laugh from Conall across the room. He sat on a sofa, the picture of bored nobility while Tanwen tossed a knife up in the air. They were hiding from Beron, who had woken up in a foul mood. It was only a matter of time before he came looking for his sons.

Better to make themselves scarce and wait for the storm to pass.

“You’re very funny,” Lucien said flatly, pulling up a chair to sit with his brothers. “I mean with mother. How do you stand her fawning over Arina?”

Eris’s brows knit together. “I rather like it.”

Of fucking course he did.

“Gets her out of your hair, does it?” Tanwen taunted, clearly bored and looking for sport.

“Her mother is dead,” Eris snarled, eyes flashing dangerously. It hadn’t been more than a year since the bond had snapped and Lucien didn’t think Eris would ever stop chafing beneath it. Even a whisper of insult toward Arina was enough to set his teeth to snapping.

“Elain is planning a celebration,” Lucien informed his brothers, sinking further into his chair as he swiped a decanter of whiskey from the ornately carved table. “All mother speaks of is how sweet and lovely Elain is.”

“She is sweet,” Connall goaded. “If she were my—”

“That’s enough!” Eris barked, unwilling to mop up blood. “She would never be your wife because that would require you to be a male with honor…which you are decidedly not.”

Tanwen chuckled as Cadmus only nodded, eyes flicking from Eris to a scowling Connall. Would Cadmus break them up? That was his usual role in moments like these.

“I don’t have a wife because Elain and Arina electrocuted the only good option left to us. How is little Ayla doing these days?”

Lucien looked up at the ceiling, wondering why he bothered to talk to his brothers at all.

“She’s well,” was all Eris said, laying his cards down with a triumphant smile. Lucien, having the benefit of standing behind Cadmus, cracked a half smile knowing that Eris was outmatched. A scowl darkened Eris’s face as Cadmus chuckled, pulling coins toward his already sizable pile.

No one could outsmart Cadmus in a game of cards.

“If you’re so bothered by your wife, why not remove her from court?” Cadmus finally said, glancing over his shoulder. “Send her to the Mountain Palace, or the Seaside Palace, if you must. Send some of the ladies from court to keep her company.”

The room had suddenly become frosty, the temperature dropping by several degrees. Lucien could feel all of his brothers glaring at him, their disapproval plain. She’d won them over just as surely as she’d stolen his mother and Lucien was jealous. Elain had simply come in and charmed everyone while he’d been trying to win the approval of his family presumably from the day he’d been born.

His brothers acted as if they knew something about him he did not—he was kept just out of reach, tolerated but not one of them. They shared some secret language Lucien did not speak. It didn’t help that Lucien was also a century younger than his next oldest brother, and Eris was nearly three centuries old by the time Lucien had been a baby. They’d watched him grow up, but in his memories, they were all grown.

Why was it so hard for him and so easy for Elain?

“Enjoy yourself, little Lucien,” Connall said in that easy, flippant way of his. “If mother likes Elain, it means you’ve found yourself a keeper. From Spring, no less.”

“It’s just…”

Not what he wanted. Every eye in the room fell back to their hands, refusing to look at him. They knew, though. Even after Eris had sent Jesminda away, even after she’d told him to leave her alone, he was still holding out some sliver of hope that he was going to wake up one morning and it would be Jesminda's dark hair splayed out on the pillow.

Even after everything, he still wanted her.

Lucien knew he was a fool.

“Go to bed, Lucien,” Eris said, rising from his chair. “Go fuck your wife until you can think of nothing and no one else. And if that doesn’t work, take a mistress to amuse yourself.”

“Leave Elain alone,” Tanwen added, a sharp edge to his voice. When Lucien looked around, he found his brothers all looking at him again, their eyes matching Tanwen’s tone.

Right.

She was one of them, but he was not. Lucien strode from the room, determined not to take Eris’s advice. Cadmus’ held promise, though. What if he sent her away after the celebration? Eris would never agree to let Arina join her, but Ayla would likely be allowed. Hells, Elain could hand pick the ladies she wanted to accompany her. And if she picked up with some sentry, well. Lucien didn’t care.

I’ll kill any male who touches her—

Lucien exhaled with frustration, making his way back to his bedchambers where he found Elain seated at a table staring at several different color swatches. She looked up when he walked into the room and without thinking, offered him a pretty half smile.

“Come help me,” she said as Lucien stood there agape. Was Elain willingly asking him to sit in her company? She typically darted off anytime he walked into a room. Lucien walked to her, waiting for the spell to shatter and her to realize it was him and not one of the brothers she preferred.

“What do you need help with?”

“These different shades of pink,” she said, a frown tugging the corners of her pretty mouth. “I hate them all.”

“So do I,” Lucien admitted, drinking in the rosy, spring shades. “What is your theme?”

Elain’s cheeks heated. “Old meets new.”

Spring meets Autumn, he supposed. Elain fidgeted with one of the squares of cloth, unable to meet his gaze.

“Perhaps something darker?” he offered. “More maroon than pink?”

“I thought the same thing,” Elain admitted, setting the little square back on the table. “But your mother has this vision of pink and silver and I don’t want to disappoint her.

“Trust me when I say you’ll disappoint her far more if you let her dress you in something you don’t like.”

“She’s been so nice,” Elain admitted, chewing on her bottom lip. “She’s like my mother if…”

Lucien held his breath, waiting for Elain to finish.

“Nevermind,” she said with a sigh, gathering up her swatches. “I—”

“No,” he breathed, strangely desperate. “Tell me.”

“It’s nothing, I promise,” she said, but Lucien wasn’t going to be deterred. He’d take anything, any little piece of information that would give him a more solid footing with the stranger he called a wife. They’d been married for nearly two weeks and Lucien knew practically nothing about her. Elain didn’t give up her secrets easily and in her defense, Lucien hadn’t tried to make conversation with her, either.

“Tell me anyway.”

“You’re not going to let it go, are you?” she said, bracing herself against the table. Lucien scooted closer as Elain lifted herself atop it, legs swinging sweetly. He wanted to get on his knees, wanted to slide his hand up her slim calves and—

“No. So you may as well just tell me,” he said, flashing her what he hoped was a charming grin.

“Your mother is like my mother if she was warm,” Elain managed, eyes latching on a painting across the room.

“Your mother is unkind?”

“No, not unkind, just…” Elain bit her bottom lip again. “Spring is a lot like a vipers nest, and you have to think like one if you want to survive. My mother is queen of the vipers, I suppose. She wasn’t cruel, but…we all had our parts to play, clearly.”

“Why did you go first?” Lucien asked, giving voice to the question that had plagued him since she’d first been sent to him. “Why not your older sister?”

Elain sighed. “The High Lord delays the match. He’s angling for Feyre, but the humiliation of spurning Nesta would ruin all of us. I think mother wanted to see me gone just in case he decided to spit in the face of tradition.”

“Tamlin loves tradition,” Lucien said softly. “If he promised to marry Nesta, he will.”

Elain nodded, though it was clear she didn’t agree. Whatever was going on over there, Elain certainly knew it better. Still, it was nice to have some context to the marriage. Elain had agreed, even though she didn’t want to, to ensure her sister's futures, too. There was something strangely lovely about it.

Or maybe it was just the insight that Lucien appreciated. He didn’t understand Elain at all, especially knowing her father likely would have intervened if she’d begged. Sometimes, Lucien imagined that Elain had come simply to torment him, even if deep down he knew that wasn’t true.

She’d come because she loved her family. That made it a little harder to dislike her. Would Lucien have done the same for his brothers? He genuinely couldn’t say, though he suspected he wouldn’t have. Not that it mattered—males weren’t held to the same standards as females. If Lucien had ruined his engagement, Elain would have been tainted in the process but he would have come out unscathed.

“If you want, I can talk to mother,” Lucien offered, wanting to do something for Elain that wasn’t half apology. He felt earnest—hopeful, even. “Soften the blow.”

Elain offered him a half smile that made her even more beautiful than usual. Lucien was terrified of the day she gave him a full smile, wholly directed at him. Would he survive it? Lucien wasn’t sure he’d survive any of this because Elain was his mate, and he had the terrible feeling that if he got to know her, he’d like her.

It was a constant war between not wanting her at all and wanting her so badly it made his teeth ache. It was going to be like this for his entire life. Lucien understood why so many gave in to the bond. A not small part of him wanted to. Wanted to throw himself at her feet and demand to know why she hadn’t told him if she felt it, too. And another part wanted…well. Wanted to know if she’d like her if he didn’t have that thread tugging in his chest. His heart pounded out a steady, consistent beat: mine, mine, mine.

“I can do it,” she said, rising from her chair while stretching out her neck. “I don’t want her to think I don’t respect her.”

“She wouldn’t think that,” Lucien assured her, though he appreciated Elain was willing to have a personally uncomfortable conversation.

“All the same,” Elain said blithely, eyes still dancing even when her mouth had flattened into a neutral expression. She was so fucking pretty.

“Well. Tell me the colors so I don’t embarrass you,” he said, hoping, once again, he was coming off as charming and not demanding. Elain glanced over her shoulder, a curl ghosting over her cheek.

“Whatever you say.”

She turned for the bedroom, leaving Lucien to trail helplessly behind her.

ELAIN:

If everything went according to plan, Tanwen would ask Ayla to dance. They’d look at each other. Maybe even speak, assuming Tanwen could move both his feet and lips at the same time. Maybe they’d kiss, if the night went well, and Tanwen would realize he was madly in love with Ayla and Elain could spend the rest of her time arranging their marriage to take her mind off her own.

The Lady of Autumn had gone all out—the ballroom was packed with people from a myriad of courts, including her own. She’d seen Nesta floating around in a gown made of spun silver—a match for the blue of her sharp eyes. If Nesta was there, Feyre was, too, likely exploring some hidden area of the palace she shouldn’t be in. Elain had seen a few Day Court courtiers flock to Arina, their eyes lined with kohl, dressed in bright, breezy linens that seemed strangely out of place around Arina.

Elain had taken Lucien’s advice, told his mother she didn’t like the rose color that had been chosen and ended up in a blood red gown that she never would have chosen for herself, once upon a time. When Amera presented it to Elain, setting the silk gown gently on the bed, Elain’s heart had thrummed.

Feyre would have worn it. Nesta, too. Her sisters were bolder, less afraid of making a statement. She wanted to be the kind of female who wore things like that, though. It was modest enough, with the off-shoulder sleeves that revealed freckled skin and delicate collarbones without even a hint of cleavage. The bodice was tight, the sides embroidered in gold flowers that made it seem as if her waist was pulled in smaller, creating the illusion of real curves.

She’d pulled her hair off her face with the pearl combs Lucien had given her as a show of good faith given how nice he’d been over the last few days. Not friendly, exactly, but nicer than he’d been since they’d met. He was looking at her when he spoke to her, which felt like a major improvement.

She hadn’t seen him yet, though the night was still early—plenty of time for Lucien to embarrass her yet.

Floating through the throngs of people, the smell of sticky pastries and wine in the air, Elain tried to find Ayla. Her friend had sworn she’d be there, as had Tanwen after a lot of cajoling and pleading.

Who will dance with me? she’d asked, making her eyes big and round. Tanwen, unused to being manipulated by a female, had folded almost immediately though he’d grumbled that he didn’t dance. Not with her, perhaps—but someone else? Elain didn’t believe he was above courting entirely given the rumors she’d heard floating around.

The Vanserra’s had a reputation and if Elain had to guess, she’d bet she was one of the few people left that had no idea what it was like to be underneath one.

“There you are,” Lucien’s warm voice murmured as his fingers brushed the tops of her shoulder. Elain turned and immediately wished she hadn’t. Lucien had asked what color she was wearing and Elain had said red and yet somehow, he’d managed to coordinate his jacket to the exact shade of her dress.

Fuck him, she thought privately as she took in the well-tailored fabric fitted to his broad, muscular chest. His boots gleamed beneath the faelights, cut up to his knees before giving way to black pants that showed off powerful thighs. He wore a gold band around his ring finger and he’d half braided his hair off his face much like Elain had done with the combs. He looked…he looked good.

Beautiful, even, in a roguish kind of way.

“Were you looking for me?” Elain asked, noting that Lucien was looking at her much like she’d just done. His eyes darkened, scent sharpening and oh. This wasn’t a good time for him to realize he was sexually attracted to her.

Lucien cleared his throat, eyes returning to her face. “It’s our celebration, I figured we ought to be seen together. Happy,” he added with a frown.

Elain couldn’t help her laugh. The whole thing was absurd. “Well, you’re truly selling it.”

Lucien blinked. “Are you going to tell me what this is in service of, now?”

“You don’t believe I’m so incandescently happy?” Elain teased, gaze snagging on the High Lord. She hadn’t expected Beron Vanserra to come, but there he was, arm linked with his wife and brown eyes bright as he listened to her speak. Elain was terrified of Beron and his shows of temper, his violence, and the bruises Elain often caught on Amera’s body when her sleeves slid up her wrists.

And yet here, he was the picture of adoration. Was it possible to love someone you hated? Elain turned, catching her husband also watching with a disdainful expression on his face. He didn’t bother hiding it, and Beron didn’t notice. Elain had heard Beron was preoccupied with Eris and Cadmus, but paid little attention to Connall and Tanwen and practically none at all to Lucien. To Elain, that seemed like a best case scenario, but maybe Lucien resented his fathers disinterest.

Or maybe he resented the way Beron terrorized his family.

She’d never asked, determined not to make it her business.

Lucien rolled his eyes, returning to their conversation as his fingers skimmed down her spine. He’d been touching her more often—absent gestures she wasn’t certain he was even aware he did. Every time his skin met hers, Elain’s whole body ignited with interest, which prompted her to try, desperately, to avoid his touch. What would Lucien do if he ever caught a whiff of her changing scent?

Elain knew she was on borrowed time, that eventually there would be questions about what they did when they were alone. The expectation of children would begin to arise and Elain would have to bow to the pressure and at least try. It had taken her own parents nearly five decades to conceive Nesta and Elain expected it would take her just as long, even if she and Lucien put themselves on a strict schedule.

What was worse was the thought that she might enjoy it. The vision persisted, lingering in her mind as it taunted.

You could be happy if you made different choices.

Lucien's fingers stilled at the small of her back, as though he realized how far he’d drifted and knew he was in danger.

“Tell me the truth,” Lucien murmured, leading the two of them through the throngs of people dancing to soft music played by musicians seated in elegant chairs. Cool air blew in from the open windows and some brave souls donned cloaks before sneaking out toward the garden for a moment alone.

Elain would bet that's where Feyre was.

“We deserve a little celebration, Lucien,” she said, turning abruptly for the garden just to see what her sister was doing. The last thing she needed was for Eris to find Feyre poking through something and start an international incident like that one time Feyre had been permitted to join their father in Winter.

“Elain—”

“Why does it bother you?” she asked without malice, letting him trail after her as they made their way into the dark. A pillar half hid a couple furiously kissing, the smell of salt and desire half choking Elain. Lucien coughed, for all the good it did—the pair broke apart to look at them before deciding they didn’t care if they had an audience. Elain scurried toward the grounds when the male dropped to his knees, head ducking beneath a skirt. Behind her, Lucien muttered something she couldn’t quite make out, though it sounded disapproving.

“What if I wanted to help whatever scheme you’re currently working through?” he responded, jogging up beside her. “Did that occur to you?”

Elain’s steps slowed. It hadn’t. “I’m trying to set up your brother.”

Lucien’s brow furrowed. “Which one?”

“Tanwen.”

He laughed, which annoyed her. “What?”

“Tanwen? Elain, if you want to set him up, you need to hide her in the woods for him to find.”

“He said he’d dance,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest as she faced off with Lucien. The grass was damp, the wet bleeding through the soft fabric of her shoes. Unlike Lucien who had layers beneath his jacket, Elain merely had the thin fabric of her gown. Lucien looked warm, and some part of her wanted to close the distance between them and fold herself against his body.

“Did you use your feminine wiles on him? Poor Tanwen,” Lucien teased, poking her in the stomach.

Elain scented something strange just as she was about to retort—sea salt and citrus, wholly out of place in the Autumn wood. Lucien, too, caught the scent of it, his eyes flicking up over Elain’s head as one hand came out to half pull her against his body. She’d been right—Lucien was warm.

A moment later, Feyre Archeron appeared looking dazed and pale. Elain’s sister had merely stepped out of a rip in the world, trailing star-flecked shadows behind her as she went. There was no one with her—just Feyre, who could apparently winnow. Elain had never known that.

“Are you okay?” Elain asked when Feyre passed. Her sister started, eyes bright like the moon.

“Of course,” she said, her tone strangely breathless. “I was…lost.”

“Lost.” Lucien repeated, his tone rich with disbelief. “Where were you going?”

“I…out,” Feyre finally said, practically floating away from them. Both Elain and Lucien watched and she suspected if she’d turned to look at him, they’d be wearing matching expressions of confusion.

“That…was strange,” Lucien finally said, releasing Elain from his grip. She took a step away on instinct, desperate for a breath of air not tainted by the soft, masculine scent of him. “Is she always like that?”

Elain wanted to assure him that Feyre wasn’t, but… “Yeah,” she said with a sigh. It was pretty par for the course for Feyre to slip off and keep secrets about her magic. If Feyre could winnow and hadn’t told anyone, it was for a reason. Elain certainly wasn’t going to divulge that information.

“Come on,” Lucien murmured, and she swore when she looked at him, a faint glow emanating off the edges of his skin. She blinked and it was gone, fading to a memory she couldn’t quite recall. Had she seen it? Or had she merely imagined it?

“You’re shivering,” Lucien added when Elain didn’t move, reaching for her once again. He couldn’t keep touching her—he was wearing down her resolve. One of these days Lucien might put his hands on her and she’d thank him for it.

Something in her wanted to make him work harder, even if it was inevitable. She wanted to like him, at least, before he took her clothes off her. And more than that, Elain wanted Lucien to like her, too. She was certain he didn’t—not really. What she found gazing back at her when she looked at him was merely acceptance. He’d made his peace with this marriage, something he should have done the moment he found himself standing at the priestesses altar, and was ready to get on with things.

Elain followed Lucien back into the bright, dizzying warmth, eyes scanning the room for both her sisters and Tanwen. She found Ayla, dressed in rich burgundy chatting with a male whose name escaped her. She saw Connall leaned against a pillar holding court while a semi-circle of females laughed at something undoubtedly stupid he’d said.

Cadmus and Eris patrolled the edges of the room, talking among themselves even as Eris’s eyes continued to slide to his mate, giggling with some of the females that routinely came to Ayla’s card games.

But no Tanwen. Lucien must have realized it, too, because his fingers brushed the back of her hand. “Told you.” It was the wrong thing to say to her right then. His touch, combined with her own confusing mix of emotions, caused a rush of anger to flood through her. Elain’s attraction to him, the closeness of his body, the way she swore she saw him looking at her at times—all of it was too much.

“That was uncalled for,” she hissed, grateful when he didn’t follow behind her. Elain didn’t turn to look at him, either.

She knew he was watching.

She could feel it.

LUCIEN:

“You’re an asshole,” Lucien began, snatching the weapon from his brothers hand before Tanwen could take a swing. Tanwen turned, brows raised.

“For what?”

“You told Elain you’d dance with her,” Lucien reminded him, almost telling his brother the truth of the matter. Lucien very much doubted Elain would be forgiving if she learned he’d messed up her little plan—even if Lucien thought it was ridiculous.

Tanwen blew out a breath. “I don’t dance.”

“It was one dance.”

“You dance with her,” Tanwen retorted, reaching for the axe but Lucien held it just out of reach. They were matched for height and likely matched in strength, though Lucien knew from experience that if Tanwen wanted to hurt him, it would be relatively easy for him to do so. In his youth, he’d tried to take on all his brothers to disastrous results. Besides, if he limped back into the house with a bruised eye and busted lip, Elain would know that he’d been meddling to help her.

It might make her like him a little better…and Lucien didn’t want her to know he was trying as hard as he was. He couldn’t explain it—call it petulance, call it his own inner angst, but Lucien wanted Elain to simply wake up one day desperate and needy from the bond and court him a little, too.

“You made a promise,” Lucien pressed, tossing the axe to the damp, leafy ground beside his brother.

“I fucking hate that shit,” Tanwen snapped, running a hand over his messy hair. “The people, the noise, I—” he took a breath. “I tried, alright? But someone tried to talk to me and I couldn’t do it. If you want me to make it up to your wife, though—”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Lucien warned, temper flaring. Lucien was coming to the realization that he likely couldn’t spend another month sleeping in the same bed as his mate without touching her. He toyed with the idea of creating some kind of bargain between them in which he was allowed to have her in the evenings and she could do whatever she liked with the rest of her time. But Lucien’s treacherous mind betrayed him, conjuring images of her taking a lover and he became restless and angry all over again. In his mind, Lucien was allowed to have her however he wanted her, but ultimately bore no responsibility toward her as he figured out his own feelings.

To make matters worse, every time he pictured Elain, his guilty thoughts bled Jesminda into the image until Lucien was frustrated with himself—Jesminda had told him to move on. Move on. It was taking too long, the heartbreak making a fool out of him. How did people get over it? Did they ever?

Or maybe you’re scared you’ll move on and be fine, a traitor's voice whispered in his mind. Maybe you’re afraid you’d be happy if you let yourself.

“Shut up,” he mumbled under his breath.

Tawnen glanced at Lucien, rolling his eyes. “I’m sorry if I upset Elain,” Tanwen conceded, though he didn’t look too shamed. “I’ll make it up to her.” Lucien doubted it, though, given his wife was very much trying to set Tanwen up. He trusted she’d find some new little scheme to put them back in the same room. Begrudgingly, he had to admit the thought of Elain trying to set Tanwen up amused him, if only because Tanwen was the most oblivious of the bunch. If he had his way, he’d abandon court entirely for some cottage in the woods and live entirely off the land. Tanwen would have thrived as governor of the rural counties of Autumn, though that post belonged to Connall, technically.

Beron sent Tanwen to their biggest port city and forced him to oversee the people there, knowing Tanwen hated the politics just as he knew counting crops bored Connall to tears. It wasn’t about learning anything, either. He simply liked making his sons suffer for his amusement. Lucien wasn’t allowed any leadership positions—Beron said he didn’t have enough cities, though Lucien knew that Beron simply didn’t like him and did not want to nurture any potential High Lord qualities in Lucien that might unseat Eris or Cadmus.

Lucien left Tanwen to his weapons, meandering even when he knew where he was going. He wanted the pretense of stumbling upon her, of seeing her with her hair tied off her face with a pink bandana, hands buried in soil. Lucien found her dressed in a rich purple, hem pooled around her knees as she plunged a little trowel into the earth.

She wore his gloves. Lucien’s heart raced at the sight of them, once tossed carelessly in a drawer along with everything else. She’d worn his combs the night before, his gloves today…Lucien took a breath. Elain was softening. Maybe he could bend a little, too. Pushing open the gate, Lucien made his way toward her.

“Planting?” he asked, noting the bed of weeds had been cleared out of the space. It must have taken her hours to do it.

Elain glanced up, a bead of sweat sliding down her brow. He wanted to taste it. “Your brothers helped clear this place out,” she said sweetly, rising up to sit on her heels. “It’s made things go faster.”

“What are you planting?”

“Here? Aster,” she said, showing him the little trays of budding plants she’d clearly been growing herself. “I’ve mapped it all out. Would you like to see?”

“Yes,” he breathed, coming close enough their knees brushed when he lowered himself to the ground. Elain pulled out a little journal and a rolled up piece of paper that she spread out for him.

Lucien recognized Cadmus’ work, sketched out beside Elain’s looping, pretty handwriting.

“Your brother painted it for me,” Elain admitted, running her fingers over the pretty watercolors that graced the page. I showed him my layout and he put it together.

“We should frame this when you’re finished,” Lucien murmured, thinking it really was lovely.

Elain’s eyes were bright. “Really?”

He didn’t like that creeping hope in her voice—her belief that he wasn’t a kind male, and didn’t care about her at all. It wasn’t true, though Lucien knew he’d done very little to disabuse her of the notion.

“Of course,” he replied, trying to keep his voice light and nonchalant. “You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished.”

Elain tucked a curl behind her ear. “It’s just a garden, it’s not as if—”

“It’s important,” Lucien interrupted, tone gentle but firm. “Beautiful, too.”

Elain’s cheeks flushed, eyes slipping back to the ground. “That’s…thank you, Lucien.”

“Can I help?” he asked, deciding to push his luck. What did it hurt, he reasoned, to try and get to know his wife? His mate?

Biting her bottom lip, Elain nodded. “That would be nice.”

“I saw Tanwen this morning,” Lucien said, adopting a lighter, more gossipy tone. Elain’s eyes lit up.

“Did you tell him he ruined my night?” Elain demanded with a grin. “Winston occupied nearly all of Ayla’s time.”

“Winston,” Lucien grumbled, though in truth he had no issue with the lord. Winston was perfectly polite, in a bland kind of way. He was the kind of male Ayla could boss around and dominate, which wasn’t the worst position to be in given how Autumn viewed females. It was the closest thing to autonomy Ayla could hope for.

“Right?” Elain agreed, taking one of the little plants from him to nestle it gently in the dirt. “He’s so…”

“Agreed,” Lucien replied, heart thudding in his throat. “Could I offer you some advice?”

“Please,” she replied, eyes darting to him again. The urge to push her into the dirt and cover her mouth with his own reared through him with an intensity so hot that Lucien could feel his cock stir in his pants.

Calm yourself, he ordered.

“Consider an activity that Tanwen is interested in.”

“Like what?”

“What is the game you, Arina, and Ayla are always organizing on the lawn?”

“It’s a bit like tag, but less rough,” Elain admitted, cheeks flushing again.

“So why not a larger game?” Lucien suggested, mind racing with possibilities. “Or, perhaps something more akin to hide and seek. That could be romantic.”

Elain’s brows raised. “You’re quite clever.”

He grinned. “I’ll take the compliment.”

“How would we ensure we get them alone?”

“Easy enough. You and I will hide somewhere together—somewhere only I know,” Lucien added, his heart picking up again. He knew the exact tree he’d put her in, ancient and hollowed out by a High Lords son long since dead. Lucien had spent years hiding there as a child, reading and writing and otherwise daydreaming about more interesting adventures. With Elain, the space would feel smaller…perhaps he’d take the opportunity to truly touch her. Run his knuckles over her cheek, his nose along the curve of her neck.

“And Arina?”

Lucien snorted. “Eris won’t be able to help himself.”

Elain wrinkled her nose, scrunching the little freckles adorably. “Ew.”

“And Tanwen considers himself an expert tracker. Finding Ayla will be easiest, because she won’t be masked by another male's scent. And maybe, once they’re alone…”

Elain clapped her hands in front of her chest, giving him an excuse to look at the soft swell of her breasts. Elain was far too appealing, mate or not, and Lucien had the sinking suspicion he’d want her even without the cord currently wrapped around his throat.

Squashing his guilt, Lucien took a breath.

Unaware of his inner torment, Elain offered him a smile. “Okay. I like this plan—give me a few days to put it together so it seems natural and not too suspicious.”

“Naturally.”

“And you’ll join?”

“Nothing would amuse me more than to see Tanwen fall prey to the very court scheming he loathes.”

“You make it sound so sinister. I merely want him to find happiness,” she said, unaware that Ayla was the kind of female Tanwen had made a habit of ignoring. He could see her with Cadmus, perhaps, if Cadmus ever deigned to smile or have a moment of fun. Connall was too busy fucking his way through Prythian to ever consider a wife and truthfully, was likely to make someone very unhappy given how little he thought of commitment.

“And you think Ayla is his happiness?” Lucien questioned.

Elain only shrugged. “Maybe. It doesn’t hurt to try, does it?”

Lucien began digging out Elain’s next chalk mark as she carefully replanted, not willing to look at her. “I suppose not,” he murmured, feeling as if she were speaking to him as well. You’re not trying at all, he swore her voice accused which wasn’t true. He’d given her gifts, hadn’t he? He was sitting outside despite the biting chill, hands without gloves, dirt gathering beneath his nails.

Lucien wondered if she couldn’t sense his hesitation, his indecision. What did she feel? He was desperate to know. Experimentally, he pulled on the bond just to see what she’d do. Elain’s brow furrowed, hand flying to her chest to rub.

“Are you well?” he asked. Tell me you feel what I feel.

“I may have strained myself,” she admitted, hand falling to her lap. “Or perhaps I’m coming down with something.”

Lucien bit back his sigh. She felt it, but didn’t realize what was happening. Perhaps that was a blessing, then. He wondered if the snapping had felt different for her, or had been masked by her other emotions, lost to the swirl of fear and anxiety. How did he tell her without upsetting her? Could he?

“You should take it easier,” he murmured, unsure how she’d even go about doing that. “Rest more.”

Elain bit her bottom lips, gaze far away. “I feel like all I do is rest. I garden, I go about with my friends, I eat, I sleep. Hardly exerting.” Interesting. “What would you like to be doing, then?”

She considered this, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Travel?”

Lucien’s whole body tightened. Was that it? His disbelief must have shown on his face because she quickly added, “I heard the continent had tulip fields as big as a sea.”

“I’ve never seen them,” he admitted, mind racing, “I’d like to, though.”

“Maybe we could go?” she suggested.

Lucien resisted the urge to crush her against him. “Whatever you like.”

It was a start.

#elucien #im a day late and i fear this is terribly uninteresting #a filler episode before we get to the touching

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mroddmod · 24 days

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she’ll be alright because she had you.

#star wars #the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #sw tbb #the bad batch season 3 #the bad batch season three spoilers #the bad batch season finale #tbb spoilers #tbb #tbb season 3 #tbb hunter #sergeant hunter #just been thinking about hunter struggling to let omega go because he fears for her safety #it’s a big bad galaxy and he’s seen some of the worst of it #but i think he’d come around because he knows that he’s done all that he could to teach her to survive on her own #his love for her #the same love that makes him fear for her #is the very thing that gave him the strength and drive and dedication to give her all the tools she needed to mold herself into her own—#extremely capable person #idk i just think they’re beautiful and i miss them #apologies for waxing poetic (not really at all but it feels like i’m dumping— don’t know if anyone will even read this. oops. okay bye)#mods draws #mods art #my art

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luveline · 4 months

Text

𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

Spencer calls you drunk and in need of rescue. You confess a few secrets to him while he won’t remember them (or so you think). 3k, fem

cw drunk!spencer, mentioned past drug use, confident/bombshell!reader, flirting, spencer getting some well deserved comfort, a handful of his drunken compliments, insecurity, intense mutual pining

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You’re blissfully sleeping in the arms of a REM cycle when your phone rings. It pulls you by the chest, a punch of shock and expectancy at once. It’ll be someone calling you into work, Hotch himself if you’re lucky.

You search blindly for your phone. If you’re even luckier, it’ll be a wrong number. Your fingers curl around the little body of your phone and you bring it to your ear without checking the number, frazzled. “Hello?” you ask hoarsely.

Total quiet.

“Hello?” You pull the screen away. The caller reads: SPENCER. You pull it back rather than hang up. “Hey, Spencer. Are you there?”

“Hello.” He laughs. “Hello, are you there?”

“I’m here, Spencer, where are you?”

“That’s an interesting question, actually, and I’m sure there’s a great answer, but…”

“But what?” You sit up quickly, your throat aching with sleep. Your room is black as coal pitch. “Spencer, what time is it, my love?��

“You shouldn’t call me stuff like that.”

“Stop being weird and tell me where you are.”

He laughs like a hyena. You can see it in your mind, his smile and all his pearly perfect teeth. You love it when he smiles like that and he rarely ever does. “I’m somewhere and I need your help getting home!” he says with another funny laugh.

“Are you alright? You sound…” He sounds inebriated.

Spencer struggled with his drug problem for so long before you found out. You just hadn’t been around enough, and when you were he’d gotten good at hiding it. You can still remember how furious you’d been with everyone, including him, because you could’ve helped, would’ve done anything to support him through it. If he’s hurting now and hasn’t told you, you love him, but you’ll be insanely angry.

“Spencer?” you ask quietly.

“I went for drinks with a girl but she didn’t like me and I may have drowned my sorrows too much,” he admits. “Um. Did you know gin is very strong?”

“Aw, baby. You’re cheating on me?”

“I’m afraid so,” he says, and hiccups.

“Where are you?”

After some hassle wherein you persuade Spencer to give the phone to someone else in the bar for a slightly less drunk interrogation, you dress and gather your bearings for the drive. You zip a hoodie up over your pyjamas, stuff your feet into some old converse, and set out into the dark to find him.

He calls you again as you’re parking. “Hello,” he says as soon as you answered. “I need you to come and get me.”

Spencer called you twice to save him. Even if he doesn’t remember, he’s called you to come and get him when he knows he needs help, and that realisation is hard to ignore. “Spencer, I’m two minutes away, I’m parking. You’re still where you were?”

“Where was I?”

“At the bar, sweetheart. Are you still there?” It’s scarily dark out and you didn’t grab any sort of defensive measure before you came, which you regret now, climbing out of your car to walk the dimly lit road. The bar glows like a beacon to be followed.

“Still where?”

“Did you hit your head?”

“Not to my knowledge. Though I’m not sure I have much right now. I feel like I’m forgetting everything I’ve ever read, and I’ve read a lot. You know I can read about eighty average length novels in one hour on an e-reader? The buttons make it faster.”

“You haven’t told me that before.” You shiver against the nighttime winds, footsteps heavy on the grey sidewalk.

“I’m trying to be more conversational. Emily says it’s not working.”

“You’re conversational. Isn’t the only condition of being conversational to prompt a conversation? We’re always talking.”

“…What?”

You laugh like crazy. “Spencer, you don’t need to change the way you talk.”

“I annoy people.”

“You don’t annoy me.”

You approach the door of the bar, a ramshackle sheet of plywood over what looks to be a glass door. The bar building seems in similar dessaray, with modern features wrecked by scratches and smashed panes. It’s a real dive. Spencer couldn’t have meant to come here.

You war with both hands to open the door and find yourself faced with a long and empty corridor leading to another door. Worried you’re going to get kidnapped, you bring the phone back to your ear, Spencer’s chatting an immediate greeting. “…telling me I’m doing something wrong without telling me what it is, it’s impossible.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, can you come to the door?”

“I don’t think I have control of my legs,” he says without inflection.

“It’s definitely the building with the smashed door?”

“Yesssss. Are you here?” he asks excitedly.

“I better not get murdered, Spencer Reid.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“How are you even keeping the phone to your ear right now?”

“I’m on speaker phone. Milly showed me how to do it. Say hi, Milly.”

“Hi Milly,” a new voice says.

You rub your eyes with one hand and square your shoulders, prepared to defend yourself if the creepy door leads to a creepier room.

Spencer is immediately visible from the get go. You open the door on to a rather cosy looking bar, which you’re thinking might be the whole point; wretched exterior, secret attraction. Warm orange light ebbs into the space from sconces and a faux fireplace, while a wrestling match playing from the small TV behind the bar casts brighter light down onto Spencer’s shoulders. He looks out of place, dressed in a white oxford shirt and a suit jacket, his tie loosened and hanging from either side of his neck, compared to the lingering patrons who sit dotted around the room in booths and on barstools. One such patron sits in a plaid shirt and a trucker hat, her hair to her back, thick and dark.

You hang up the call and put your phone in your pocket. Spencer gasps like he’s been smacked and picks his own phone up from the bar, clicking at buttons with clumsy fingers. “No,” he hums sadly.

“Spencer,” you say, not wanting to disturb the people spending their sorry-looking night here. “Spencer. Hey, Spence!”

His phone tips between his fingers. The woman you assume to be Milly catches it and offers it back without looking too far from her beer.

“Hey,” you say gently, crossing a wide empty space to meet him. The room itself is shaped like a horseshoe, the bar taking up a surprising amount in the centre, and booths and tables placed around it. Spencer’s off of his barstool as you approach, eyes like puppy dog’s, arms extended. “You okay?” you ask.

You can feel eyes on you both from every angle, but it doesn’t matter, not when Spencer’s falling into your arms (or on to them —he’s surprisingly tall when you aren’t wearing heels). “You alright?” you ask again.

“You don’t have to be worried, I’m fine.”

He’s less coordinated in real life than he’d sounded over the phone, his slurring unmissable, his hands like jumping fish as he tries to hug you. It’s weird and straining to take his weight but you do it without complaint. He smells the same, at least, only his cedary cologne is sharpened by the tang of gin on his breath.

“Thank god you’re here,” he whispers.

“Why?” you ask, pulling away to check for danger.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too, handsome,” you say, genuine but laying it on thick simultaneously as you ease his head back to cup his cheek. You can’t help yourself. He’s the prettiest man you’ve ever met, and it gets worse every year.

He frowns at you deeply. “I don’t like first dates.”

“Then don’t go on them,” you suggest, “you don’t need to until you’re ready.”

“I’m ready for love,” he says. You pull your lips into a flattened line, unsure of what to say, how to explain that it’s waiting for him, but his chin dips towards his neck and his eyes lock onto your face. “You’re not wearing makeup. God, you’re so pretty.”

You flinch away from him. “Fuck, Spencer.”

“I’m sorry! It’s not that you don’t look pretty with makeup, but I never see you without it!”

You’d forgotten you weren’t wearing any. Makeup isn’t a shield, exactly, but you like putting your best foot forward, so to speak. You’ve no clue what you look like tonight, hadn’t managed to look in the mirror, you’d been focused on getting to Spencer before he got lost. You can imagine the puffiness.

Spencer touches your cheek. You let him turn you mostly because he’s surprised you, his eyes roving up and down your face with a fawning curiosity.

“You’re beautiful. You know that already, but people don’t tell you enough,” he says, his hand falling from your cheek.

“Spencer,” you say softly, “let’s get you home.”

You thank Milly for her help and grab Spencer’s bag from the floor to hang on your shoulder. You’d make a joke about how heavy it was if you didn’t think he’d take it from you, and, considering how drunk he is, topple over from the imbalance it provides. His shirt is clammy where you push your hand through his arm to link them, his footsteps wobbly.

“I didn’t want to go on a date,” he says.

“Then why did you go?” you ask, helping him over the door jam into the long hallway.

“I don’t want to be alone forever.”

“Spencer, you won’t be.” It doesn’t feel like the best time to bring up how much you like him. You’re sure he thinks you’re kidding, doesn’t everybody? Don’t torture him, they say. Don’t toy with him. Every time you flirt with him the team acts like you can’t mean it, and for a while it worked for you; you weren’t in love with Spencer. You weren’t playing with his feelings, but you didn’t love him, and then you joined the team and got to know him, watched him fluster at every comment you made or under any soft looking and realised you could love him. It was easy to fall for him. You liked doing it. But now he’s determined to write your affection off as a joke and going on dates?

In the morning, when he’s sober, you’ll have to tell him how you feel. Or you could let him find someone more like him… ugh. It’s such a mess.

You grapple with the size of your feelings for him as he hums and laughs his way down the hall to the glass door. On the street, he squints and straightens his back, fighting to regain his arm from your hold to cover your shoulder instead. “It’s cold,” he says in surprise. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, I got my jacket. It’s a short walk, come on.”

His arm stops acting as protection and starts to use you for support. “I didn’t mean to drink so much.”

“Drowning your sorrows is always a terrible idea because it tends to work,” you lament, less scared of the dark with him at your hip, though what protection he might offer is negated by the alcohol.

“She kind of looked like you.”

You squeeze your eyes together quickly. “Oh.”

“I didn’t know she was going to. But she didn’t– she didn’t– it’s hard to talk. She didn’t listen like you do,” he says, lightly slurring, “she just stared at me like everyone used to in high school. Like she could tell there’s something wrong with me.”

“Spencer, there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“I know,” he says.

“Do you?”

“Yes.” He frowns. “No, I don’t know. I don’t feel like there’s something wrong with me,” —his voice turns to a nearly indistinguishable mumble— “but everyone else always does.”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.”

“Is that why you make all your jokes?”

“What jokes, babe?”

“Like that! Like babe. It’s funny ‘cos you’d never date me.”

You’d slow if he weren’t already walking at a snail's pace. “That’s not true. Let’s talk about it in the morning, okay?”

“I won’t remember to ask you in the morning.”

“Spencer, you remember everything.”

He drags his feet. “I wish I wasn’t so weird,” he whines. It’s playful at the forefront but desperate otherwise, and it gives you pause. “I wish I was normal, and you could like me normal.”

You look down at your hands, panicking, a flash of Is this a good idea? like an alarm in your head as you turn on the sidewalk to face him. He’s looking at you like he’s begging you to disagree with him.

You’re happy to.

“Spencer, I like you like this,” you insist loudly. His eyes and all his sweet lashes track the movement of your hand as you touch your chest, and your neck. “You’re not normal, I’m not normal. Do you know how many times I’ve been rejected? Just for being me? I’m too bossy, too outspoken, too– too high maintenance. I've had friends with good intentions tell me I need to lower my standards, need to relax, because otherwise I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life. I feel alone all the time.”

“But you’re perfect,” he says, puzzled.

“To you. And you’re perfect to me.” Your hand crawls to the base of your throat. “So don’t say you’re weird like it’s ugly, honey. And don’t think I don’t like you, ‘cos I do. You think I’d come and get anybody else in the middle of the night dressed like this?” you ask him, gesturing to your ratty pyjamas and your dingy converse.

“You look so cute,” he says mournfully.

You roll your eyes. He’s too wasted for this conversation. “Come on, sweetheart. You can think about this too much in the morning. Let’s just get home in one piece.” Physically and emotionally.

“Can I come home with you?” he asks.

That had always been the plan. “Ask me nicely and I’ll consider it on the way.”

— —

Spencer shuts his eyes, hands itching to clap over his ears as you scratch the head of a spatula across your frying pan. “Is three eggs too many? People usually have two but that’s never enough for me.”

“I think…” Oh my god the metal screeching is so loud. “You should have as many as you want. You know your body. There’s this study on intuitive eating…” I'm too hungover for this. “Three eggs is better than two.”

“So you want three?”

He cannot eat right now. “Yes. Please.”

Spencer’s half sick with dehydration and half grief. He stayed at your house last night and he was too drunk to be nosy. He slept in your bed. He slept in your bed. He woke up to you at your vanity doing your hair, the nutty smell of hair oil mixed with the heat of the hair tool on high and realised with a start that he’d missed something he thought about all the time.

You’d tipped your head back to smile at him. “There’s my boy. Sweet dreams?”

He didn’t dream, but if he had, it would’ve been another agonising wish where you were his girlfriend, or his wife, or just there looking at him with love. He wakes up feeling sick because it isn’t true. And now you’re making him breakfast, humming a tune under your breath, sourdough sizzling under the grill and a shoddily blended avocado sitting in the bowl in front of him.

You asked him for one thing. He picks up the fork and starts to mash the avocado again. He can’t fight the foreignness of sitting in your kitchen, a gap in his memory.

He knows he told you about his date, how she looked like you, how she didn’t seem to like him much, but he’s struggling to collect the finer details. Why had you picked him up? He must’ve called you, but you could’ve said no. He remembers thinking you looked beautiful, but he always thinks that.

The avocado is making him feel sick.

“Here,” you say, sliding a plate of toast in front of him. “Do you want butter?”

“I think I'm gonna throw up.”

“You’re okay.”

“I can’t believe how I acted,” he says, pressing his palms to the hollows of his eyes.

You turn off the hob. Fat bubbles and pops until it’s cooled. The clock on the wall by the refrigerator ticks incessantly. His slept-in shirt feels too tight despite the undone button.

“Hey…” You round the island but don’t touch him, your voice gentle. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He drags his hands down his face. “I can barely remember what I said.”

“You were really nice to me… told me I looked pretty without my makeup, n’ that I was perfect. You were really nice.”

Your tone is off. No flirtatiousness, no endless confidence, you sound wistful, like you’re glad he said it. You take the bowl of avocado he’s made a mess with and put it aside with the toast, resting your arm on the counter, and leaning into his space. “Spencer, last night? You didn’t do anything to be embarrassed of. You were nice, and kind. You tried to open the car door for me and you almost lost your eye, but you were fine. You don’t have anything to be worried about, really.”

“But it’s you.”

“Gonna touch your hair,” you say, giving him enough time to move away as you reach out and rake back his fringe. His heart leaps into his mouth. “You said something last night like that, you know? Do you remember that? You said if you were normal.” You grace the skin beside his eye with the tip of your thumb, your perfume floating his way as you move. “And I said–”

“I’m not normal,” he says, remembering now.

You’re not normal, I’m not normal, you’d said.

But you’re perfect, he’d said.

To you. And you’re perfect to me.

“Right. We’re not normal, Spencer Reid, so forget that girl. She didn’t deserve you anyways,” you say.

You draw a short, silken line down his cheek with the side of your pinky. To be touched so lightly has his stomach in knots —he’s not shocked by the swiftness with which your affection can make a bad situation good again.

You turn away. “Now we should eat before everything goes cold.”

He watches your shoulders move, and he remembers one last detail. So don’t say you’re weird like it’s ugly, honey. And don’t think I don’t like you, ‘cos I do.

The way you’d said it… you couldn’t really mean…

“How’s your appetite? Still feeling sick?” you ask.

Spencer smiles to himself, the ghost of your touch glowing warm on his cheek. “I’m feeling a lot better, actually.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

thank you for reading!!! please like/reblog or comment if you enjoyed, i appreciate anything and it always inspires me to write more<3!! my requests are pretty much always open for bombshell!reader (even though this one strays a bit from their usual story haha) so if you wanna see more let me know❤️

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction

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hoshigray · 26 days

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Pretty Please with a cherry and spinkles ontop😩🙏 I need a Pussymatized Toji. Absolutely infatuated with his FWB. He was the one that said no attachments until he got addicted to her.

𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: lmao, "pussymatized" is new, but i see the vision!!

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: fwb! Toji x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - kissing/making out - implied prior sex - backshots + missionary positions mentioned - oral (f! receiving) - feedbag position - multiple orgasms - Daddy kink - overstimulation - pet names (baby, good girl, mama, sweetie) - clitoral play (licking and sucking) - pussy-whipped! Toji - mention of spit and tears.

⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.1k

Toji knew better. He’s done the whole friends with benefits gig plenty of times, and he knows the big rule that comes with the package:

Absolutely no feelings involved, or else the arrangement is off.

“Hoooh…! Ahhhn, T-Toji, stop…Not too fast!”

That is until he met you.

For about a year, you and Toji have been friends with benefits. It started as something Toji told you about, how he’d sleep around and get in those kinds of relationships. You were the one to ask if he’d be down to do it with you.

The onyx-headed one thought about it for a minute until he gave in and said sure. However, he stressed the “no feelings attached” policy intensely. He considered you a dear friend – a rarity in his life – and he didn’t want what you two were doing to damage this close relationship. It was just casual sex with a friend, nothing more. And you nodded to his regulation with a smile, moving your friendship to the next level.

Off the bat, the sex between you two was great! It had been a while since Toji had done stuff like this, and doing it with someone he could trust like you made the interaction smooth and entertaining. Problems between the two of you were rare, and it’s thanks to you two being mature adults that made handling this non-serious relationship easy!

Nevertheless, one thing made this cooperation difficult — at least on Toji’s part. The older man was becoming more and more infatuated with you.

He doesn’t know when it started getting this bad; Toji was never one to be the one catching feelings during these kinds of kinships. So, this was a bit new for him, and it made the poor man go crazy as the days went on. Him? Catching feelings?? Breaking his own rule??? Get real!

But he couldn’t lie to himself, it was all different since he was doing it with you. You were the closest person he could call a friend outside of Shiu, and that never changed once you two became fuck buddies. If anything, things have gotten a lot closer between you two. You cared for his kids while he was away, cooked meals for him because you feared he didn’t eat enough during the day, or invited him on grocery sprees.

It wasn’t like you didn’t do stuff like that before. Yet now that you and Toji were doing things beyond a regular friendship, the man was seeing you in a new light that he hadn’t seen before, and God, it was suffocating him. He doesn’t know how many of your gorgeous smiles or sweet strings of laughter he can take before he snaps.

But it wasn’t just your personality and gracious aura that lured him on. As mentioned before, the sex was amazing — No, scratch that; you were amazing. It had been a very long while since Toji had done sexual shit with someone who could reciprocate pleasure. Fuck, you felt so good, whether it was jerking or sucking him off while massaging his balls in your pretty hands, or bouncing on his cock with that tight cunt of yours that had him on the edge, holding on to your waist as he’d piston his cock deep inside. Merely thinking about churning your walls that snug on his cock had him gulp thickly, thinking a heavy sigh would get these thoughts out of his mind.

But they don’t, of course. Because he’d be damned if he’d try to forget the image of your beautiful body all hot and sweaty with his. Your moans and squeaks were all prompted by his thrusts, and – fucking Jesus – he could never get over the way you said his name, so desperate for him with watery, doe eyes that pull him in. Looking all disheveled and alluring for him and only him, peering over your shoulder when he’d hit it from behind like you wanted to see him feel good. Toji would’ve been a fool if he hadn’t fallen for you!

There was a time when Toji’d slip up and hold your hand as he chased release, noticing you catch the sight of his palm and integers gripping yours. Thinking you were uncomfortable, he removed his hand from yours, only for you to wrap your legs around his waist and bring him to you for a kiss. It was just a kiss, is what he’d say to justify it. But hearing you mewl under his lips and whisper to his ears was the last straw for him, hammering his dick and spilling his load into you as you two made out passionately.

Yeah, there was no doubt about it; the guy was falling for you hard.

So hard that he couldn’t stop thinking about you. It scared him a bit – the thought of you being his made his heart beat at a pace he hadn’t experienced in a long time. You corrupted his senses; he wanted to hear you, kiss you, feel you, smell you, taste you — fuck, did he want to taste you; it was so bad.

But it wasn’t as bad until you hadn’t stopped by for two weeks. You’d text him your apologies, saying that work caught you up and that you couldn’t see him and the kids. And even then, you’d still manage to throw a phone call before sleep, and Toji doesn’t know if that was better or worse. Your voice made his skin crawl, loving how you spoke to him all soft and fatigued yet affectionately. You were too good for him, having him feel guilty for fisting his cock unbeknownst to you.

He couldn’t take it anymore, being away from you. He could barely go through the first week, and the second had him itching to see you. That’s precisely what he did, calling you to let you know he’d come to see you. And once you opened the door to greet him with a warm smile, that last bit of thread in him had finally snapped.

“Nnmmah! Hic…shtooopp licking…! I’ll cum again, I’m gonna—!!”

After pulling you in for a hungry kiss, the man brought himself inside your apartment with you glued to him. Feverish pecks kept your lips on him, squeaking at how smoothly he picked you up and brought you to the living room couch. He’d suck on your neck while removing your bottoms, already stifling him with your fragrance to the point he shudders.

He’d trail his kisses downwards, nibbling on certain areas that made you gasp for him, sucking on the skin of your inner thigh as his fingers rubbed on your folds covered by damp underwear. You had him on his knees, uncaring about the angle. His thoughts only thinking about the wet chasm he sees after discarding your panties. Nothing holds him back from plunging his face into your wetness and showing no signs of stopping when you’re wailing for him. He’d lick, lap, and suck on you with no remorse, face utterly stuck on your slit until you came for the first time.

“—Ahhaa, I’m cummin’, Tojiii! OhJesusChrist—Nnnmoo!”

“Mmmph…! Fuck, c’mere, sweetie, lemme take care of you…”

And now, he’s chased you down for another climax, your legs tremble and your figure shakes as Toji’s tongue relentlessly pets around your labia, frantically licking your clit to expel more fluids to seep out your vagina.

And Toji drinks it all, stuffing his face into your inner thighs like breathing is not an issue. You cry and involuntarily try to close your legs as your nerves are at an all-time high, grabbing tuffs of raven hair. But the man doesn’t allow you to shy away, his strong hands keeping you grounded on the couch as he eats you out. They never leave your frame unless it’s to unzip his jeans to let his erection breathe. Your cute howls of pleasure, your delightful fluids painting his tongue and lips, and your intoxicating smell; all have his hard-on twitch painfully, precum staining his boxer briefs.

He’s so far gone, his scarred lips kissing on your folds to gently juxtapose the tongue he uses to fuck you. You jerk and jolt, sobbing from the fervent mouth making sure every crevice of your cunt goes explored. Your orgasm still isn’t away, everything feels so sensitive that you feel like you could break.

“Tahhh, Toji, nooo,” you wail, trying to push his head from burrowing deeper between your thighs. Yet he shows no cooperation. “I just came, yer doing t’oo muuch…!”

Now, he finally removes his face from you, his chin wet with your essence which he licks from his lips. “Sorry, mama,” his rich emerald eyes lock with yours, they have you freeze under his gaze. “But I’m not done yet.” You shake your head, inching your hips away from his proximity. But he captures your waist and slides you back down. “Don’t,” he pleads, placing your legs on his shoulders. “One more time fr’ me, ‘kay, baby? Let Daddy have ya one more time.”

An excruciatingly slow lick from down your slit to your clitoris has you quiver, sloppy kisses further the mess of saliva and come between your legs, and you can’t control the throbbing sensation that returns to ache your inner walls. He chuckles, “Look at ya winkin’ at me, guess ya want more of me too, huh, sweetie?” He makes your ears ring and hot, throwing your head back when he spits and sucks on your clit harshly.

This time, Toji straightens his back a bit to lift your legs with him, hands securing you close to him on your hips. It was a view you hadn’t mentally prepared for, seeing your weight be supported easily.

He continues to lap around your labia, taking in all the excess slick to suck on, not leaving any drop go undiscovered. His precision has you roll your eyes to the ceiling, a hand griping on his wrist as he rubs on your clit.

“Ohhhfuuuck,” your words were slurring together, brain too mushy to cooperate and form eligible sentences. The man between your legs makes that hard enough. You don’t even attempt to squirm out because Toji’s lips will latch right back onto you. “Daddyyy, right there…More, pleasee.”

“Good girl,” he praises, rewarding you with swirls circling your clitoris before a suck, and your legs cross around to push him further. “That’s my girl…Mmmm, fuckin’ Christ, taste too good…” His deep voice sends vibrations up your spine, chewing on your lip when his tongue nestles in between your soaked folds again.

He pushes the wet muscle back inside, groaning at the sensation of you clamping onto him and bucking your hips in his direction. Your cries fill the quiet space, his name coming out in rushed prayers was the only thing that occupies his eardrums. Fuck, he missed this so fucking bad, arms wrapping around your waist as he pushes his face deep, his nose bumping to the hoop of your pearl while he ravishes your insides.

The squelches of his tongue and lips are so raunchy and nasty, you feel like filth being used like this. You’ve long given up the control to conceal your moans, and Toji listens to every single one with intent.

“—Ohhh! Ffsshiiit…!” Oh, no. You can feel it, the next wave climbing up. “Daddy, again! Gonna cum again, I cann’t...!”

“Yes, you can, mama,” he coos, blowing on your slick-covered lips. “Just a lil’ more fr’ me, ‘kay? Just let it out.” His mouth returns to erratically fuck you with his tongue, and his gruff moans are felt on your body. The pressure of your thighs squeezing him makes it better, hitting your delicate clit with gentle jabs that rock you into your third orgasm.

You scream, unleashing yourself as your climax rocks your being. Toji has a good hold on you, softly using the flat of his tongue to lazily lick your cunt, massaging your waist as your hips ride on his face. And it doesn’t help that the older man’s cock is oozing on his briefs, his thighs twitching with his erection wanting to be freed.

With a dangerous last kiss to your sensitive folds, Toji places your legs back onto the couch, wiping your come off his chin to lick his fingers clean before bringing his jeans and briefs.

“Wh..What’s gotten into you,” you ask with furrowed brows and hooded eyes like his, both misty with wanton thirst. “I see you’ve been more pent up than me.” He chortles at your jest, and you happily accept the tip of his cock into your mouth with a blissful hum.

“You have no idea, baby…”

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