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withinthescripts · 7 years

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Season 2 Cassette 2: Ulster Museum (1973)

[tape recorder turns on]

Welcome to the Ulster Museum in Belfast. I’m the director of collections, Mary Breathnach. As we enter the new decade of the 1970’s, we face many changes to the art world. Many national borders have fallen away, our world joining together in economic and political unity, but as history changes before our eyes, so does it stay the same.

The Ulster Museum, part of the collected museums of Western Europa, is proud to present “Red Love – the Passion of Claudia Atieno”, sponsored by the Harmon Family Trust. These are Atieno’s most popular works, many from the mid-1960’s when her career was at its height. “Sunshine Afternoon”, “Still Life with Tomato Plant and Sword”, and even a recently discovered repainting of “Still Life with Cat”. It’s been some months since anyone has seen Atieno. Some have even claimed her absence is sinister, that she is missing, that she may even be dead, a long and brilliant career possibly cut short at its peak. While we feel it’s best to refrain from sensationalist speculation, we are also loath to promise more art, when we cannot be sure there is more to come.

Thank you for choosing to take our audio cassette tour. Your audio guide today will be Roimata Mangakāhia, herself an esteemed artist and friend to Atieno. The audio tour begins at the south entrance of art gallery 3. The tour follows a counter-clockwise pattern around the exhibit. Each piece with an accompanying audio lecture will be noted with a blue star on the numbered title card, and there will be at one on the recording to indicate where you might pause the cassette before moving on to the next work.

Please enjoy your visit to Ulster Museum and the exhibit “Red Love”.

[bell chimes]

Painting 101: “Still Life with Tomato Plant and Sword”, by Claudia Atieno, oil on canvas, 1962.

It is one of her most discussed and debated works, and it’s one of the collection of paintings that shifted her career from successful artist to celebrity. As much a celebrity as a painter can be while still alive, of course. The painting sold at Sotheby’s in 1969 for nearly one million pounds, and is on loan to this exhibit.

Many critics admire the gentle and crafty hand at work here. Notice the thin strokes of orange and pink, creating the sunny glare on the tomato. Atiano nearly exposes the texture of the canvas with such thin passes of the brush. It looks almost like watercolors, rather than oil, and it is shallower than the rest of her painting.

Lean closely to the left side to see this remarkable detail. What is exposed? What is vulnerable?

You’ll notice that the titular sword is not visible here. But just past the trellis in the tomato plant you can see a nearly empty garden. The grass is mangy and uneven. But what appears is a large blotch of unusable dirt is actually a mound. The sword of this work’s title has been buried in the garden.

This painting premiered at the Berkshire Museum where Atieno was living at the time, as a resident artist in the former United States. Atieno’s home now is in Cornwall. It’s a large house somewhere along the road to disrepair. Sitting alone on an island, some distance from the mainland.

My first few visits to Cornwall, Claudia and I had tea at a café called Joyeuse, named for Charlemange’s sword. We were served sandwiches and scones and in the back, there was a small garden with sparse grass, and a small, insipid vegetable plot. The tomato plant was the only thing that grew well there, but often the squirrels stole them just as they reached maturity. The owner of Joyeuse, a petite-figured man named Jennifer, who wore square-rimmed glasses and wool leggings, hung his handmade replica of the eponymous sword just above the doorway to the garden area in the back. He had used a wood base and aluminium veneer. It was pulled slightly from the sheath which was emblazened with large jewels that hardly seemed real at all, but were stunning and smart in their own right.

In this painting, look closely at the upturned soil in the garden. Imagine Charlemange’s sword! [whispering] Imagine it now buried in the garden in this painting. Examine the uninspired tomato vines, their drooping and bare stalks fully revealed. But impossibly beautiful in Atieno’s rendition. How will you be remembered?

Atieno does not expect viewers to know about the now defunct Joyeuse café in Cornwall in Western Europa, but she certainly expects viewers to understand that if the title says there is a sword in the painting, then there. is. a sword in the painting, and it is your job to find it.

The garden at Joyeuse and even the sword to which it refers were clear influences on Atieno’s seminal masterpiece, and the longer I have looked at this painting, the more I wonder if the sword -is- buried in the ground, an underlined tribute to our post-reckoning international order of peace or perhaps – knowing Atieno’s wry sense of humor and love of subtle symbolic critiques, perhaps the sword has been dug up.

Look closely at the mound of dirt. The arch of the bound could suggest a burial of weaponry. But in the oblong black patch toward the top, I see the suggestion of a hole rather than a heap. The sword. is. missing. And Atieno does not know where it is. Perhaps the viewer themselves holds it?

Do you? Do you hold the sword?

[bell chimes]

Painting 102: “Marketplace Summer Afternoon”, 1965.

A painting of a crowded food market. Notice the almost boneless limbs on the merchants. The apple cart vendor in the lower right has an arced elbow that never quite reaches a point, her knees are nearly S-shaped. You can see the ocean over the tents in the background. Many books refer to this scene as St Ives. This is likely Plymouth.

I recognize that view from my brief time living near there. But perhaps I’m wrong. This is why we make art, to help us remember more beautifully, not more clearly.

[bell chimes]

Painting 103: “Stapler”, 1968.

It is a painting of a black Swingline stapler on a black background. The audacity of this painting irritated many older artists, as it looks like a poorly lit photo in an office supply catalog.

Look closely at the black of the stapler and the black of the background. Is all darkness the same? How absent is light, in the absence of light?

Atieno on the surface is displaying her technical skills. It is photographic quality in every way. It looks – like almost an advertisement here on the Ulster Museum wall. Perhaps Atieno was making a commentary on the commentary of the pop art movement. But most likely she’s simply showing off her technique. She was quite prolific in her art, and they’re all good works, as you can see here in Belfast. But in her mind, mastery of form was mastery of art. But in my mind, an artist can always do more.

In Cornwall, there were cliffs overlooking the sea. At high tide, I would take off my clothes and dive the ten meters’ drop. I encouraged Claudia to dive with me, but she couldn’t do it. These beautiful cliffs, along an endless cool sea, a scene she could paint and did, but not one she could truly explore. For fear of what? Not heights. She did not flinch at bending over the ledge. Not water, either; she swam regularly, when she could walk down to the shore.

I always wanted her to jump, to plunge. To risk pain or embarrassment, to feel bodily the glory of this rare nature. To paint something truly epic, busy, tall, complex, masterful. To make more astonishing what was already astonishing. To freefall into the vastness that contains both wilderness and tranquility.

But when eyes were on Claudia, she demurred. She believed in frightful conspiracies and intimidated power brokers of the new society. But when the world looked at her for commentary, she sometimes just wanted to paint staplers.

There’s been so much talk about Atieno recently, so much speculation. People say she’s disappeared. [scoffs] This seems ridiculous to me. Artists are reclusive sometimes. We need to be, the world is our inspiration, sure, but also our most dangerous distraction. It is more likely her so-called disappearance is not a disappearance at all but an absence, a hiatus, a time spent away from the pressures of celebrity, to rethink her artistry.

Look closely at the Swingline logo in the painting. What does it mean to be convinced to buy something?

[bell chimes] [tape recorder turns off] [ads] [tape recorder turns on]

Painting 104: “Fingers together”, 1967.

Atieno here has painted a self-portrait of sorts with her sometimes partner Pavel Zubov, a lesser known sculptor she had met in 1965 in St Petersburg. The painting shows two sets of fingers intertwined. The simple contrast in skin tones and the smooth lines of each knuckle create a crosshatch pattern that strikes the eye even from 50 meters away.

Look at the fingers. Can you tell which fingers are the woman’s and which are the man’s? In your mind – what signifies a male finger versus a female finger? Are race and skin color connected?

In Pavel’s skin you can see subtle indications of veins, the pulse one can feel in physical contact with another. Notice the soft brushwork, creating an almost gauzy effect. The natural inclination is to assume gentle love, young love even, giving the plump smoothness of each finger. Although given this was 1967, Atieno might be giving herself too much credit to paint herself with such supple skin. I would also caution you not to be accept too much naïve love in this painting. This work is a popular poster to be hung in university dormatories. Its brash idealism is hiding something harsher.

Look closely at Atieno’s nails. Short, chewed down, an indication of stress. Zubov’s are keenly manicured, almost sharpened. His little finger is out of view. Some writers have suggested that she deliberately did not paint it as a symbol of the child they lost only two months before birth. At best, that is a weak symbolic gesture for the immense tragedy of a miscarried child. [angrily] At worst, it is a lie conceived by hack writers trying to sell papers, as Atieno never carried Zubov’s child. The little finger is not missing. It is hidden from view at this angle, a symbol yes, but of Zubov’s opacity in love. He had many partners.

This should have been fine, their relationship was polyamorous, as were all of Atieno’s relationships. But even with permission, Zubov felt the need to conceal. He convinced each lover that was monogamous, hiding each from each.

I lived with Claudia for a time. It is large, that house. And often full of people, Claudia obviously and Zubov most of the time. They were passionate. Sometimes both naked in front of me, sometimes leaving their bedroom door open. I admired their free spirit, their ability to confront each other with ideas and personal jabs and even great gulping kisses. It was clear that others who lived in the house from time to time were unused to this passionate couple. In that house, the borders between friendship and otherwise were blurred. I can personally attest to this. Lack of transparency to Atieno was equal to deception. If you did not say how you felt to her, whether it was about her art, herself, someone else, or even what kind of tea you would like that afternoon, she believed you to be hiding something. She likewise would be completely honest with you. And as Zubov never brought any other sexual partners to the he house as Atieno did, she suspected he was hiding something. And she was right.

Look again at the intertwining fingers in the painting. Is Atieno being completely honest with you? Are you being honest with anyone?

[bell chimes]

Painting 105: “Sunshine Afternoon”, 1968.

One of Atieno’s lesser known works, Zubov found it in his basement two years ago. It is a painting of sunlight slicing through grey clouds over what is presumably the Celtic Sea. The water in this picture is choppy. Look – at - the choppy water.

[bell chimes]

Painting 106: “Self-Portrait with Cat”, 1972, unfinished.

This painting was recently discovered by Zubov in his home. Atieno already had a painting called “Self-Portrait with Cat”, despite claiming never to have had a cat. I asked her about this painting once or twice, and she was completely unwilling to discuss it. I got the sense she simply did not like this work, but yet here is another version of the same picture. In what you can see of her face, she’s making the same facial expression as in the original: a wry smile, her eyes fixated to something distant, but her face is older, as is the cat’s. Its eyes and neck sagging. The light coming in the window is orange. A sunset.

Look closely at her eyes. Are those the eyes of a woman holding a cat she does not own? Whose cat is it? Look at where the brush strokes end in this unfinished work.

Why would she paint this painting again?

Zubov eventually admitted to having four other lovers, but he refused to tell any of them about the others. He only told Atieno because, as he said, he loved her more. He added, “I would leave them for you, Claudia. I would leave them for you.” But she threw a salad fork at him. And she said she couldn’t love him back, if he did not love the rest of the world as equals. While I believe this sentiment is suffocatingly idealistic, I understood that Atieno saw Zubov’s deception as a lack of respect for himself and the other men and women he was seeing. He priced comfort over truth, and Atieno could not abide that.

Over the few years I knew Claudia, we grew close. Which is to say we were with each other often, and intensely. Claudia fought and argued with me. She sometimes called me names, but as long as I said how I felt, we could work through our disagreements and convince each other of [whispering] almost anything. We talked of her ending her relationship with Pavel. Sometimes she threw things. Sometimes I couldn’t speak for fear of crying in front of her. Eventually it was thought that Pavel should not come back, our conversations were so full of passion, honesty, intimacy. [chuckles] I still wonder who thought this thought first.

Perhaps it was Claudia’s idea, all along.

She ordered Pavel to leave, and he returned. She ordered him to leave again, and he returned, although later than before. After the third command to leave her alone, he seemed not to return at all. But every so often Claudia would receive parcels with no return address. These boxes would contain a single piece of an animal: a tooth from a fox, or large rodent. An ear cut off a rabbit. And one time a field mouse, cut in half at the torso, and all of its blood drained. I urged Claudia to call authorities, but she said Pavel always sent her studies of new sculptures he was working on.

Atieno began this redux painting “Self-Portrait with Cat”, featuring Atieno in her wicker chair on her enclosed patio, the cliffs below her. On her lap, the calico cat. Behind Atieno in the self-portrait along the cliffs, there is a small figure near the ledge. As she did not finish this painting, it’s difficult to say her intention with this rough blotch. Most assume it is a tree, but I have been in that home many days, and there is no tree there. It is a human, or at least a man. I do not know who the man is or what he wants or intends.

This painting is unfinished because Atieno disappeared. Rather, she left her Cornwall home without taking it with her, and left no forwarding address.

[whispering] I do not think she has disappeared. I don’t think she’s done anything so dramatic.

Claudia was last seen at her home in Cornwall in October 1972. Pavel arrived while Claudia was at the market. I answered the door. Pavel and I nodded at each other, but otherwise did not communicate. I left that afternoon to give a lecture at the rebuilt Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, and I-I’ve not seen Claudia since.

I don’t want to imply Pavel in her disappearance, nor give into suspicions that she is dead. I think, or hope, or some word like that, some word like that, that she’s back home near (Dedoma), or in a commune in Halifax or perhaps in another cottage by the sea, wanting us to wait for her next work. Something the profilic artist rarely required of us. [wistfully] Wanting to challenge and provoke and amaze us.

I think that. I hope that. I something something that. [tape recorder turns off]

Within the Wires is written by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson and performed by Rima Te Wiata, with original music by Mary Epworth. Find more of Mary’s music at maryepworth.com. The voice of Mary Breathnach was Sarah Maria Griffin.

And please rate and review Within the Wires on Appel podcasts and tell your friends about our immersive little show. Also you can get Within the Wires T-shirts and posters at withinthewires.com Within the Wires is a production of Night Vale Presents. Check out our other podcasts, like Welcome to Night Vale and Alice Isn’t Dead and The Orbiting Human Cirucs of the Air and Convesatioins with People who Hate Me, and coming this month, a brand new podcast from Joseph Fink and John Darnielle called I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats, and a brand new fiction podcast called It Makes a Sound.

OK, our time is done. It’s you time now. Time to stop by the museum gift shop. Grab yourself a souvenir book of paintings about potato canons. Pick up a poster featuring a vulture in a tuxedo. And buy a commemorative vase made out of baby back ribs.

#within the wires #season 2 #season 2 cassette 2 #ulster museum #sorry for being tardy

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pseudocitrus · 7 years

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im a straight woman, and for the past few months ive noticed that ive been interested in characters being gay/in a relationship rather than being straight. i started questioning why this was, and it was beginning to disturb me. i wondered if it was a disgusting fetish or sexualization. i wanted to separate myself from that, and then i realized something about myself. (1/2)

one day, i was reading a fic about a gay couple and obviously some smut came along. im rather uncomfortable with smut tbh so i considered skipping through it. but as i read it, i realized that the way the two characters were treating each other—it was a sense of equality. i wondered, if i had sex with a man, would i be able to act the way they did? or would it not be expected of me since i am a woman? is it society and their gender boxes that im being held back on? (2/3 one more part sorry ha)

and my answer was that i wouldnt feel as equal as my partner and that terrified me. its something that i have to work on, but ive realized my love for gay couples over straight ones was that i could see, between the two members, that there was a sense of private equality. definitely not in the public eye, due to the raging unfortunate homophobia still rather prominent, but within their relationship. i was moved by your recent reblog, so i thought i might share. (3/3)

thanks for sharing, anon. :) i have to say that i’ve been struggling with the same kinds of feelings recently: in particular getting waay more interested in BL than i’ve ever been (to the extent that i also stress about if i’m consuming for the right reasons), as well as having to wade through the general swamp of like, the sometimes-toxic socialization of certain genders/sexes. my malaise has increased now that there’s been more talk about stuff like emotional labor (one article here and a forum compilation if you haven’t seen it yet), and it’s easy to feel….like…just, crushingly weary and hopeless about the situation, haha.

i’m sorry that you said you wouldn’t think you’d feel as equal your partner. i relate in that there was a time in my life i remember clearly where when i thought about being in a relationship with a man, all i wished was: i just need to find someone i like enough that i don’t care that they don’t love me or do anything for me in return. like!! i actually, literally thought that!! that’s so messed up lmao.

since i’ve never been in a relationship with someone of my same gender i can’t speak to whether that feeling of private equality exists consistently outside (the admittedly very idealized world of) comics, though from my friends’ experience, i feel obliged to say, every type of relationship has its “equality” problems…like even if it’s not gender, differences in race and class can also be painful to work through. (maybe this is also why i read so much japanese BL honestly? because then you don’t have to worry about racism either as much? haha.)

i hope i’m not overstepping by talking more about my perspectives toward relationships, but…i think entering a relationship of any kind will always be a risk. and, at least right now, i feel pretty confident that the key to most problems (that aren’t like straight-up abuse) is to a) be honest about your emotions, desires, and needs, and b) find the strength to communicate them clearly. ^^ i really hope that when you find someone anon that they’re able to have this kind of communication with you! i agree that getting into situations where you can be vulnerable and weak is terrifying, but in the end i feel like having a good relationship is not so much a miracle as it is just….hard work. ^^

#i REALLY hope i'm not overstepping by ending up writing something that sounded like advice...sorry;;;;;;#i really hear how difficult and scary that it is to be in a relationship with men...especially with everything that's happening now #in the meantime...all those sorts of things that depress me i feel like i can sometimes only soothe by writing haha #hopefully at least some of my fics have the feeling of equality....who knows #asks #my gosh i still can't believe i actually thought that at one point #long post

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akame-jpg · 7 years

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many people asked me how i lost weight so here are some general tips on how i lost weight!!

before i get into the tips, you should lose weight for yourself. this is for you and only you. it shouldn’t be for other people. this is a personal decision for you and you should do it to live a more healthy lifestyle, for more energy, etc. im still losing weight, but i’m not trying to be skinny. that isn’t my goal. my goal is to be at a healthy weight for my height (im about 20 pounds away from that), to eat healthy choices, to live a more healthy lifestyle. and i’m doing this for me. im not doing this for the boy down the street. im not doing this because mom called me fat. im doing this for me.

1. the first thing i cut out was fast food. i didn’t eat much of it to begin with, but i completely just cut it out. the only time i ever eat it is when i go out with my friends and we have gone out for food maybe twice in the past 4 months. once in a while is fine but every week is definitely not good (also i saved a lot of money from doing that)

2. the only beverage i drink is water (DRINK A LOT OF THAT STUFF YALL). im actually a really picky eater/drinker and i never drink soda. i never liked it so i never really had it growing up. the only thing i would drink before my weight loss was water, apple juice, lemonade, and gatorade. and now i only drink water and occasionally black coffee.

3. im actually deathly allergic to all tree nuts and seeds but i heard those are great sources of fiber and protein and great sources for weight lost and eating healthy meals. i unfortunately cannot eat those so i rely my protein intake on lean meat such as fish, chicken, and eggs, and i also eat protein bars. i also eat beans sometimes. i never really ate red meat such as bacon, beef, pork, hot dogs, etc, but sometimes i do. it’s pretty rare tho. (like i said, picky eater lmaooo)

4. i cut out junk food so chocolate, chips, etc. i still have it sometimes but i don’t eat an excessive amount when i do. and like this coming up tuesday, i know i will be making cake pops with my friends so ive been working extra hard this past week on my diet and exercise so i can enjoy a nice day of a few cake pops with my friends.

5. i eat a lot of veggies and fruits. i freaking love veggies. i actually use to not like fruit because to me it was too tarty. it still kinda is, but im use to it now. if you don’t like fruit like me, i would recommend, finding one fruit that you do like. i really like pineapple. that was the one fruit i just really like. to me, it was sweet and not tarty. and then slowly mix it with other fruits like pineapple and blueberries.

6. stop eating after 7pm. this one was tough for me because i always got hungry around 12am and i wanted to eat food. also, i work a lot of evening shifts so i leave at 4:30pm and don’t come home til 10:30pm so i don’t even get to eat dinner. you don’t want to go to bed with a full stomach. if you are hungry, eat a light snack. i usually eat fruit when i come home, or a small yogurt. something light and healthy.

7. there was a thing that i read that said if you are losing more than 30 pounds, exercising is crucial. i do cardio for about 30 mins every day and i do weight training for 30 mins every day. im actually going to up my weight/resistance training when i go back to uni bc there is a gym there and i can use actual equipment to make it easier to do that stuff. if you can afford a gym membership, i would definitely recommend doing that, but there are things you can do at home. you will have to do a lot of research on that. i personally feel stronger and i just feel overall better. weight/resistance training is more important than cardio for weight loss. and you will gain muscle mass and your body will be more tone and strong.

you should not weigh yourself every day. do not do that. you should weigh yourself maybe once a week. and it isn’t a race to see how much you can lose. that is not good for your body. do not starve yourself. 1-2 pounds a week is ideal. please please eat and make sure you are eating enough. the trick is eating healthy choices and watching your portion sizes.

if anyone has any questions, pls message me!!!

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pagedesignhub-blog · 7 years

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