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batfamtv · 3 years

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me after writing smut: is this who i am? is this who i represent? lmao i've never written smut until trese, i guess the thirst was too much, let me know how y'all like it! thank you so much for all your support, ily <3

(ﾉ´ з `)ノ

kambal x reader; established relationship

gif by @rasputinaillyanna (see their original gifsets here!)

sfw

the three idiots

seriously, alexandra feels like she keeps aging 20+ years whenever you three are together and goofing around

this is one of the reasons why you’re not allowed on the field with them, they’d get absolutely nothing done

that, and the twins simply wont put you in danger under any circumstances

alexandra also treats you like a sister (in law) and wants you safe, but can only do so much to keep you out of their lives since you still find ways to help them out

absolutely rowdy when you’re with basilio, you and him practically have a lot of inside jokes and a secret language

people would give you both weird looks when you’re out in public, just because you’re both so damn loud

with crispin you’re more mature (but not a lot), he does these grand gestures like taking you out on expensive dates, takes instagram/pinterest style pics of you

basilio also takes pics of you, but those are some of the most unflattering ones that he sends to your groupchat as memes

the ppl who arent familiar with your relationship with the twins are almost often confused when they see you with just the one twin: they’d think “huh i saw this couple a week ago, but i could have sworn the boyfriend had much shorter hair, it couldn’t have grown that long in a week, right?”

when you do go out with the twins, they flank you and you almost get squished in between them, so sometimes you have to push them both to the sides so that you would have space to move around

the three of you like to just chill at the mall sometimes, go window shopping and then eat samgyup/mang inasal later on

other times when you manage to drag alexandra with you, people would assume that you guys are on a double date, and alexandra has the ugliest/most disgusted look on her face as she corrects them “these are my brothers” “im gay”

in your groupchat (just you and the twins) crispin is the sweet, doting one who would text you “have you eaten?” “want us to pick something up for you on the way home?” while basilio sends you memes and selfies of the twins

they send you videos and pics of pets they meet “today we met brownie and blackie”

with regards to living arrangements, the twins have separate rooms (basilio’s is the messy one, smells weird)

when you moved in, alexandra offered you your own room, and most of the time that’s where the boys stay anyway

the bed is much larger than theirs because it needs to accommodate all three of you

you three try to cook meals for ate alexandra, but it almost always turns out disastrous - mostly when basilio insists on helping

so you always make him run errands (“can you go pick up some more garlic and magic sarap”) while you and crispin man the stoves

you braid basilio’s hair while crispin tunes his guitar!!

and you spend a couple of hours listening to crispin play the guitar, basilio’s head now resting on your lap

crispin’s movie taste are like *film* and *poetic cinema* while basilio might enjoy movies that are so bad they’re good, but you three are all suckers for superhero ensemble movies and horror movies

the boys become really annoying when watching filipino horror movies because they like to point out mistakes in the film “aswangs dont do that” “why would you go there all alone are you stupid???”

“please boys i just wanna watch the movie”

a huge cuddle pile

both boys run hot, so during cold nights (that never happen, bc you live in the philippines) you’re all warm and toasty between them

both light sleepers! they were pretty heavy sleepers when they were kids/teenagers, but the occupational hazard of their jobs require them to be ready at a moment’s notice

they still, however, snore quite loudly

crispin doesn’t ever tend to move positions when sleeping, he wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in

basilio rotates around the bed like hands of a clock

most often falls off the bed, but clumsily climbs back up and cuddles you

really really simpy when it comes to you, though most of the time it’s just you three sharing one brain cell (it’s with you, mostly), they can be quite romantic and cheesy if they want to

crispin probably has his brother as just “Basilio” on his phone, and “Y/N ❤️" for you

basilio has “my love ❤️😍😘💘 ” for you and crispin’s number isn’t even registered lol

nsfw under the cut

nsfw

threesome? threesome

boys barely do anything separately and usually just have a Single Thought in both their heads, so if one is horny, the other one is 69% (lol) horny as well

you realize that crispin doesn’t like to be teased at work, but basilio enjoys it so much

you find this out when you’re alone and horny, so you send a pic of you touching yourself to the boys in your groupchat

crispin sees it first, but doesn’t say anything?? he honest to god just left you on read

meanwhile basilio also sees your pic not too long after and you quickly get a “what the fuck” as a reply from him

like 10 mins later he sends you a pic of him in what looks like a washroom and his cock is straining in his pants

he texts you “had to find a washroom so fucking fast so that ate alex and the police captain doesn’t see me so fucking hard in my pants” and “wanna eat you pussy babe”

crispin does text you when the three are on their way home, not mentioning the picture you sent “we’re on our way home”

and at first you thought he is mad at you bc he didn’t bring the nude up?? does he not want you anymore :(

but the moment they arrive crispin all but sprints to your shared bedroom and sees you there, in your underwear

holds your cheeks in one hand, “what the fuck was that baby, hmm? what did you send us?”

you try to ask if he’s mad bc you sent him a nude, ask him if there’s anything wrong, but he just lets your face go as he takes his suit off, basilio finds his way to your room, locks it, and gives you a kiss

basilio whispers “missed you baby” against your mouth before moving away to undress

crispin, now fully naked in front of you, makes you suck his cock, which is hard and twitching, its tip leaking with precum, he makes you place both his hands on your head, “do you know how surprised i was when i saw a text from you and it’s a picture of you touching your cunt? hmm?” he sighs as he sees you looking up at him, eyes watering as you struggle to take all of his cock down your throat “i had to stop myself from getting hard in front of everyone, baby, basilio couldn’t even do that”

basilio huffs but the boys reposition you so you’re in bed and on your back, crispin kneeling to your side, his cock still throbbing in your mouth, basilio positions himself between your thighs, moaning when he sees how wet you are

basilio removes your panties before rushing to sniff your cunt, groaning in delight--you’re sure his eyes roll to the back of his head before he dives into your cunt

you moan into crispin’s cock and he grunts, shoving more of his cock into your mouth, now moving faster, “i really wanna cum down your throat baby, would you let me?”

you nod and he pushes his cock all the way into your mouth, your nose practically touching his groin and pubes

you gag, for a moment panicked as you try to breathe in, while crispin just eyes you, his cock growing ever harder when he looks at your face wet with tears and drool, he grabs your hair, softly at first, to make sure you’re okay, and when you nod crispin groans as he sets up his pace, groaning as he feels his orgasm building

basilio, meanwhile, is licking and sucking your clit with three fingers knuckles deep in your cunt, and when he starts to feel you spasming, a telltale sign that your orgasm is approaching, he pulls his mouth and fingers out and quickly replacing them with his fat cock

immediately, you and basilio both groan, your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel yourself so full of cock

basilio curses under his breath before taking your legs and resting them against his shoulders “fuck, y/n, im sorry i’m not gonna last long” “your pussy got me so fucking hard you tasted so good baby, you know how much i love your little pussy, right?”

crispin groans at this before he pulls his cock out of your mouth, leaning down to kiss you, he then moves down your neck and your tits, making sure he marks your chest

basilio whimpers and thrusts three more times before releasing a long groan, his cum exploding deep in your pussy “fuck baby you feel so good” he manages to pull out and you see his cock wet with his cum and your juices before settling beside you, panting harshly

you barely had the type to recuperate before crispin flips you on your stomach, making sure your face is resting on the pillows before he thrusts into you with a grunt

“fuck, still a tight little pussy after basilio rammed your cunt, huh?”

your eyes rolling, you couldnt do much other than hold onto the sheets and basilio’s hand, moaning loudly when you feel crispin’s fingers on your clit

“can you take one more, y/n? can your pussy take one more load?”

speechless, you nod, trying to grind your ass against crispin’s hips, but his hands on your hips hold you firm

he grunts approvingly, “good baby, take it deep in your pussy okay? and cum on my cock, baby, i wanna feel it”

you cum on his cock, almost violently, and twins groan at the sound of your moaning, and the sight of you spasming and shaking on crispin’s cock

a couple of deep thrusts later, crispin also cums deep into your pussy, his cum now mixed with basilio’s

crispin moves to get a washcloth to clean the three of you up, before all three of you collapse in bed, huddled together, basilio with his arms wrapped from behind--already falling asleep, you rest your head against crispin’s arm

“so, no more nudes when you’re at work?”

crispin laughs softly before pressing a kiss on your forehead, “unless your cunt is ready to take two cocks at once, no nudes when we’re at work”

#trese #trese the kambal #trese imagine #crispin #crispin x reader #basilio #basilio x reader #bftvtrese

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logically-asexual · 3 years

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okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

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jesterlady · 5 years

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Avengers Endgame Review

So it's finally time, I am about to give the world my review and feelings of Endgame. I've had this swirling around in my head for weeks but am finally ready to give it voice. I've seen the movie twice and there are obviously massive spoilers ahead so read at your own risk.

First off, I like this movie. It's a good movie despite the sadness and the stupid time travel, so when I criticize it, know I still enjoyed it. I think it's a beautiful crowning achievement, the end of an era of the MCU. In many ways I wish it was the end of the MCU, it would be fitting and sometimes things should end. I laughed and cried and cheered with everyone and seeing it opening weekend was absolutely an amazing experience. For a full time fan it had some amazing fanservice and callbacks.

I also want to point out that I am usually incredibly good at liking a movie on its own terms. Even if something doesn't make sense or doesn't make sense in our world, so long as that universe has claimed it as its own, I'll put on my suspension of disbelief and shrug my shoulders and say, 'whatever you say, squire.' So really I'm the type of person who should be okay with the way they handled time travel in this movie. Spoiler, I'm not. I'll go into all of that.

Let's get the generals out of the way. Visually it's fantastic, acting its ass off, I'm okay with the writing, I laughed at all the funny bits, it's heartwarming and gives all the feels. Love the music, love the cinematography, all that jazz.

Character looks changes since, wow, there were a lot:

Steve: Thank you, Cap, for shaving the beard. Chrevans is a fine looking man with a beard but it does not scream clean linen and fresh apple pie and I need my Cap that way.

Natasha: I'm actually a fan of the red ombre look, Katniss braid and all. It's pretty and I need her red because the blonde was not good, not good at all. I know people complain about hair not growing out that slow, but I think it's a good symbol, Natasha caught between two worlds, the old and the new, becoming more herself, but unable to let go of the past. And it's red and it's pretty.

Clint: Yeah, the mohawk grew on me. I actually think when you see it moving and in action, it works, it's only in the pictures and promos that it just looks weird. I feel like the tattoo sleeve was a bit much. (That can't come off so easy post-snap, Clint!) His Ronin suit was cool; I would have liked to have seen more of it.

Carol: I don't like the haircut. That's it; I just don't like the look. But whatever. I think it's kind of pointless other than to emphasize again time has passed, but they were hammering that point in hard enough without that reminder. But honestly, I don't care.

Bruce: So, this is more about my feelings on Bruce in the movie than his look, but it's all tied up in his look so I'll put it here. I am leery of Professor Hulk. I'm gonna go with Valkyrie, better either of the other ways. The CGI was really cool, but I think it says something alarming about how Bruce is handling his situation and his solution…is not good. We'll skip over how he magically invented a Gammatron thing to accomplish this and go into how it directly goes against what had been happening in the MCU so far and how Bruce/Hulk is handled in the comics. The best way is when Bruce and Hulk both develop as individuals and come to a symbiotic understanding, two beings sharing a body. Eddie and Venom style. Hulk had been given his own story in Ragnarok and had his own path as evidenced by him hiding in IW. Now, there is no Hulk. It's Bruce wearing a Hulk suit, just like him wearing Tony's armor. That almost feels like murder to me. My mom said she thought Bruce had more Hulkish characteristics now, okay, maybe, but I think it's more like him acting a part now that he's Professor Hulk and feels like he beat the beast. My theory is supported by the fact that when the Ancient One astral planes him, it's only Bruce that comes out of the body. Now, I'm happy he's happy, but I think they went the wrong way on this one.

Thor: Loving the long hair again, though I wish he'd brush it a bit, hate the beard. The lightning makeover made it very cool with the Viking look, but otherwise, please shave immediately! You know, it was funny for him to be so out of shape, it was also sad because it showed how depressed he really was. I am okay with the jokes and don't think it was wrong for us to think it funny because we're conditioned to think that Chris Hemsworth with his shirt off is supposed to be the latest in hunk. Did they have to joke about it as much as they did? Probably not, but I don't think it was horrendous and body shaming and he clearly does need to get more healthy in body and mind. I fully expect and will be fine with, if we see him again, him being unmelted ice cream.

Superficial out of the way, let's walk through the movie and then dive into the time travel issues.

Okay, Tony and Nebula dynamic is the best and I would have wanted so much more of that. Tony leaving the message for Pepper is all the feels.

Did Carol go looking for them or just find them? It doesn't really matter, but I'd still like to know. With Pepper being at the compound I'm thinking yes.

Poor Steve and Tony, that was not a good reunion, and I don't like Tony yelling at Steve, but I can understand it in his frame of mind.

Going off to kill Thanos, yay! Okay, so all along I've been pulling for Nebula to kill Thanos and honestly, she deserves it. Second in line, Thor. So I was glad Thor did that, but poor Nebula. She's such a beautiful character and so tragic and I just wish there had been a bit more catharsis for her other than the potential of acceptance and pride she didn't need and blood splattering her face. I mean, ouch! My ultimate version of a Thanos death in this movie would have been both Nebulas and past Gamora killing him with help from Thor.

And Five Years Later. Lol, the audience was all what! I'm all, duh!

So yeah, a rat really did save the world, you guys. I mean, come on! Poor Scott. Though I am thinking, okay, the world is clearly a trashpile now and yet we had the resources to create giant monument graveyards presumably all over the world? Also, his reunion with Cassie was sweet, but I'm sorry, I can't help but mourn the loss of the munchkin. That actress was super adorbz and now we'll never see her again and I am not okay with that. Also, I really feel like that new Cassie was way too old looking. (Guys, I'm not good with ages, but little Cassie was like 6, 5 years makes her 11, that girl was clearly 15 or 16. Though again...seeing as how Harley looks way too old to me as well and that's the actual actor, what do I know?)

Love the team effort spread out over the globe and universe. It's also a good way to handle Carol. Over-powered characters are so difficult to handle because then there is no conflict, so it was good to show her off saving the whole universe (honestly just like she's apparently been doing this whole time).

Oh Nat. Her and her sandwich. Her and Clint! Finally this movie gives me the Clint/Natasha content I deserve and then rips my heart from me. She's handling this burden but her partner is lost and that's what's breaking her and I can't handle it!

Her and Steve's friendship has always been aces and I loved that scene.

Scott there to save the world and he's so refreshing and then on to Tony and it's so precious he has little Morgan and they did a good job showcasing that he is handling this the best of anyone and honestly deserves to.

Nat is wearing the arrow necklace again!!!!

I'm glad Tony said no, but honestly, it's so like him to have a problem and need to fix it. And Pepper is such a queen, such an amazing giver, and the world doesn't deserve her.

We've gone over my feelings on Bruce (the joke with him and Scott went on way too long and was not funny. Also, thank you for only doing the barest of alluding to a Bruce/Nat romance.)

Tony and Steve scenes are the best and I love them rebuilding something and Steve getting the shield back.

Tokyo in the rain kills me. Okay, so let's talk a bit about Clint here. I am not a fan of the farm, I wish the farm had never happened and I like to live in a world where it didn't. In fact that gifset where Clint introduces Laura as his sister is my preferred canon and I think would have done the trick in his grief spiral. Personally, I don't have any issues with a Ronin lifestyle and my only worry is what it's doing to his psyche. Oh, but them in the rain, my feels, my feels, my feels. Honestly, the world is chaotic now and needs a bit of vigilante justice.

Thor and New Asgard. My first thought is that while obviously the most decimated people in the universe, the Asgardians really lucked out coming to earth when they did, because at what other time would we have accepted an alien race landing on earth to come and live with us without freaking out? I don't even know how there are any left anyway because clearly so many died in Ragnarok and then half of them were wiped out by Thanos (pre-snap, remember, so did they come back?! Not likely unless Bruce (who was there) included them, but still unlikely.) Then the half that were left...were on a ship that got completely destroyed and left Thor floating in space. So all I'm saying is they did not take care of continuity for this people and they were the real victims of the MCU.

But clearly some escaped and I find it hilarious Thor is a depressed bum playing video games and it's so so sad at the same time and I just want to wrap him up and let him rest. Honestly, Thor has lost everything and it's no wonder he's a giant mess and he deserves to be. I'm also glad he didn't magically buck up, because honestly no one would.

The PLAN:

Them all planning together is so cute and a bit smart and good times apart from their ridiculous time travel premise we'll get into later. I do want to be very clear here, Nebula did not know about the price for the soul stone or she would have told them. There's no way she could have known.

Let's go over each era individually.

2012

You remember 2012 right? It was glorious. I don't care what you think about Joss Whedon or the rest of the MCU, 2012 was magic. In fact right after watching Endgame, I went home and read all my fave gen domestic team tower fic and I needed it. So the fanservice was lovely and seeing behind the scenes almost of what we loved was the best. Everyone was perfect. Hulk and the stairs, Thor and his hammer, Tony giving himself a heart attack, Cap in the elevator, America's ass, Loki and the tesseract, even being reminded that Hydra was in SHIELD at the time. Apart from the time travel issues, it was all wonderful.

I’ve seen a lot of people point out how they didn’t like Steve in 2012 and how Endgame Steve was annoyed at himself, but I don’t see it. 2012 Steve is perfection, fight me.

I liked seeing the Ancient One as well, knowing they would have been there. Seeing how much she knew about Strange ahead of time is good and her knowing what he meant by giving it up. I'll go into the Stones and their conversation later as well.

2014 Asgard.

Poor Thor, but having him talk to his mom, that was beautiful and just what he needed. I know some people were mad he didn't spend more time being sad about Loki but honestly, Frigga was what he needed right then. And not to have to be reminded of Jane and how annoyingly that ended up for no reason whatsoever other than Natalie Portman deciding not to come back. What if Gwyneth Paltrow had felt that way! I shudder to think. But that’s part of my ongoing saga of how horribly the Thor saga in particular, yes, even Ragnarok, especially Ragnarok, treats its characters and continuity.

2014 Morag

Seeing the opening of Guardians was so funny and I loved it. But I got super annoyed at Rhodey saying Quill was an idiot for it. Rude! Do you know how often I dance around my house lip syncing to music only I can hear? We adore it when people do that in the movies. There was nothing idiotic about it and I resented the way people looked down on Quill in the movie. For instance, I’m super mad about how his reunion with Gamora went. He reacted beautifully and I also understand her reacting the way she did if she didn’t know him, but Nebula had told her about him and that was just mean and condescending. In fact, I also get annoyed about the whole rivalry between him and Thor. I mean, just let Quill alone. Having his own team, his own family, be so cavalier is annoying, especially when they’ve all lost Gamora and Peter has lost a lot of people very important to him in a very short period of time. Yes, he is insecure, but he’s also lost a lot and I’m a fan of loyalty.

There not being traps is so funny and then 2014 Thanos happens. Ugh. It was the way to bring Gamora into the film and Thanos honestly. But ugh. I do think the network with the Nebulas was clever, though very convenient, memories just project themselves out and happen to be the ones that would clue Thanos in to what happened! I hate for Nebula to be subject to that again after being free for 5 years. More really. Poor 2014 Nebula as well.

Switching the Nebulas was clever as well (though why on earth wouldn’t anyone wonder why Nebula wasn’t with them when they tried the snap?)

Also, let’s not get into it too deeply yet but they are very clear, so clear, that Pym Particles are the only way you get through the quantum realm and they ONLY had enough for ONE round trip per person. It’s why we had to go to the 70s in the first place, remember? When 2014 Nebula presents herself to Thanos, she hands him the vial of particles, we never see him hand it back. Now, either she was just showing it to him and he gave it back and that’s how she came to the future, (which is most likely), or she gave it to him so he could come to the future with their evil plan (but then how did she get back with the others?) But either way, someone shouldn’t have been able to get to the future. No matter what Nebula did to the Quantum tunnel, (so convenient she just plugged in and did all these science/mechanic/time travel things) there were no Pym particles that could have brought Thanos, our Nebula, 2014 Gamora, and all of his vast armies and armada to the present. IT LITERALLY COMPLETELY FALLS APART AND MAKES NO SENSE AND GOES AGAINST THEIR OWN RULES!

2014 Vormir

Oh my heart. I’m actually ashamed, I didn’t see it coming until they were headed to Vormir and then I knew, I knew one would die and I was so unhappy the whole scene. I didn’t go into this movie fearing for either one of them so it was a big shock. I’d been expecting Steve and/or Tony to die.

So like I said, I’ve been a Clint/Natasha shipper since day one. Honestly, I didn’t even care if they were together so long as they were always the most important people to each other and were together. The MCU tore that from me with Ultron, but also with their cavalier treatment of Clint in general. Say what you will about Natasha’s arc, it’s hella better than Clint’s. So don’t give me that. Clint is my favorite character so naturally I’m biased in his favor, I accept that. But I love him and Natasha and so it was going to devastate me either way. (I also love Natasha). Remember the early version of Winter Soldier when Clint and Nat were in it and he stayed with Hydra to fool everyone while she went off with Steve and Sam and they were secret partners just like I’m convinced they were in Civil War? Jeremy Renner wasn’t available as I recall, oh sadness.

Anyway, so this scene just slayed me. They were so pure together, each trying to die for the other. Oh, it was awful and visually stunning and I am so annoyed at how it ended. How deep a contrast between the parallel scene with Thanos and Gamora, each just as sad though. But no matter what the end result was, it brought Clint and Natasha back to each other, back to their rightful spots at each other’s sides and uppermost in each other’s hearts. It was always them and if they’d killed one or the other without letting the other one be there, I would have been so furious.

And I’ve seen a lot of hate about letting Natasha die this way. For a man, no funeral, but I don’t agree. I don’t want her to have died and I’m so sad, but I think it was a glorious death and I think it did close out her arc beautifully. Clint tried his darndest but she was better than him and she chose it and she saved everyone. You want the credit in this film, it goes…rat, Scott, Natasha, Tony. As for her not being mourned, heck yeah she was. Clint clearly is mourning and that funeral was absolutely for her just as much as Tony. It’s a movie structure thing, and I have no issues with that. There’s no way she wasn’t heralded just as much as he was to the people who matter if not to the world.

I did read that the writers/directors didn’t know there was a Black Widow movie in the works and if that’s true, it both proves and illustrates my two points that Marvel really is the deciding force in everything if the individual movies are so sure that they’ll get stopped if they’re wrong they don’t even bother to check on things, and that the MCU has gotten too big for its britches and doesn’t bother to take care of the characters they have in their insane rush to bring in new stories and characters.

1970s

Goodbye Stan Lee cameo, we miss you already. And look at Community sneaking into the MCU one bit at a time. And Jarvis! You know, that’s the first character from one of the shows who’s been allowed to be in a movie rather than the other way around. Way to validate, Marvel. It’s scary how the technology works to make younger versions of people these days (provided the actors are still alive to play underneath the CGI). And Peggy, glorious Peggy, that was an important moment for Steve and I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I’m not overly fond of old Howard Stark but if Tony got to see him, I’m glad. I’m so glad for his sake. He deserves validation he was loved.

Back to our present. A mourning scene for Natasha is appropriate and, boy, would I hate to be Clint.

The second snap. Appropriate in many ways for it to be Bruce and the snap worked! Everyone came back. Question: did everyone come back in the same place they left just 5 years forward in time? It seems that way from what Peter said. So…what about the people who came back in planes that were no longer in the same space in the sky or in space or underwater or in buildings long gone? For that matter, did Thanos consider all those things when he wiped out half the universe? Did the accidents resulting from people being gone get considered in his numbers? I know these are more IW questions, but they’re valid. And like I said, Asgardians? The people who died as a result of people being snapped, did Bruce bring them back as well? And we can also talk about how a sudden influx of people like that will likely cause quite a lot of chaos and issues.

But then explosions and Thanos attacks even though it makes no sense for him to be there and people are drowning and the compound is destroyed!

Battle commences and the three of them pounding on Thanos like that is pretty cool. Unfortunately, guys, remember how unbeatable Thanos was with the Stones in IW, and how it almost seemed like Thor by himself would get him? Here, he doesn’t have the Stones and our three main guys are not able to beat him. That’s a little contrived, just saying.

Okay, but Steve with the hammer, how cool is that? And how cool is it for Thor not to be jealous? We all cheered so loud and it was awesome. Love it, love it, love it. Don’t break the shield though!!! (Never mind, pop back to the PAST store and pick up a replacement.) Good fighting, good visuals, yay.

And the image of Steve standing by himself, ready to take on a whole army…it’s so him. He is willing to fight to his last breath always (so stop hating on him finally getting to rest himself, guys). It was glorious.

And then…on your left. Oh my heart, oh we all cheered for every portal opening. That music, it was the best. Such awesome moments, everyone was there. And extra sorcerers and Wakandans and Asgardians because like it or not our superheroes are not an army. Epic battle!

Okay, and remember how people complain about Natasha not being there in the all woman power move (which I am totally fine with and it was a cool throwback and tribute), that’s sad and all, but you know who deserves to be there who wasn’t? Maria frikking Hill! No reason her and Fury couldn’t have been there and if you’re going to bring Hope, you might as well bring Hank and Janet. And frankly, I wish Sif had shown up and the SHIELD folks and all the other people who weren’t there, Nakia anyone? Strange clearly gathered more people than he knew about with his knowledge of the future. Heck, let’s remember Betty Ross exists since her dad clearly does.

So anyway, fabulous battle. I just want to point out that Wanda could have beaten Thanos on her own (poor Wanda) and so could have Carol.

Peter and Tony reunion brought my cold dead heart back to life. He’s learned a little bit about being a Dad and he did this mainly for Peter.

Nebula has to shoot herself, like how messed up is that. Also, makes no sense, but it’s very sad. Thought maybe that’s her catharsis, she puts the past literally behind her and moves on with her new family. She was so tragic in this movie and I love her.

T’Challa knows Clint’s name.

Peter and the Gauntlet clutching.

It’s nice to know why Strange saved Tony’s life by giving up the Gauntlet and that was a horrible one finger to have to lift up and condemn a man’s life.

Tony and Pepper fighting together

AvengersAssemble one more time

For heaven’s sake, where did the flying horse come from?

And then the culmination of eleven years of our lives and full circle I am Iron Man. Oh brave Tony, I love you, sir, you are aces and I respect the heck out of you and I’m so thankful for you and it was very fitting.

Oh and having Rhodey and Peter and Pepper say goodbye. Oh Pepper, you brave soul, you queen of the MCU, you absolute giver. Ugh, being the one left behind sucks.

And then everyone is fine and together and better and Tony gives us a voice over and there’s a funeral and we see everyone there, Tony Stark has a heart, and when Happy starts talking about cheeseburgers, I lost it.

I didn’t recognize Harley, but I love he was there. Ross doesn’t deserve to be there.

Clint and Wanda’s moment gives me life and is the only remembrance for poor Vision. Let’s remember folks, that I called it. Everyone who was snapped came back. Those that died apart from that, didn’t. Heimdell, Loki, Gamora, and Vision are still dead.

No one saw what happened to 2014 Gamora, did they? A mystery likely to be unanswered until Guardians 3. But Peter searching for her made me sad. And it made me sad for everyone to gang up on him though I do like the idea of Thor joining the Guardians.

Scott, Hope, and Cassie together is so sweet.

And Steve…

I am a fan, I don’t think it’s OOC, I don’t think it’s lazy writing, I think Captain Frikking America deserves to dance and love his lady and not have to fight a battle anymore. It’s a fitting end to Chris Evans and it was beautiful. I would have been happy with either Bucky or Sam getting the shield and so that’s lovely. As for people being upset about Steve just leaving and then Bucky not talking to Old Cap along with Sam. Come on, guys. Watch that scene. Bucky knew what Steve was going to do and they had their goodbye there. Also, Old Cap didn’t drop dead the second the camera left, guys. There was plenty of time for him to talk to Bucky. It was just was more important for Sam to get his proper goodbye and to pass the baton.

Them ending it all on a happy Steve and Peggy, well, one of the couples deserves a happy ending, geesh. Nobody else got one! (I don’t count Clint and Laura!) Granted, the next phase of lovers, T’Challa and Nakia, Strange and Christine, Scott and Hope, I guess, they could make it. But Steve and Peggy living a life together, Steve learned how to let it go, and Tony learned how to give it up, and both are valid paths for their characters. Sad either way, but ultimately right in my opinion.

The credits were so cool and I was so happy they did the OG6 at the end like that. They are the reason we love this and they deserve all the glory for the first few phases of the MCU. They’re now passing the baton and that’s always why it was good and final for there not to be an end credit scene.

So time travel…I don’t pretend to know anything about quantum physics, but I know a lot about science fiction time travel. The quantum tunnel being how they did it, that was the part that I could accept as being their rules of how they want to play it. Doesn’t matter if it isn’t science, it’s their science. Pym particles necessary to nagivate? Okay, if that’s what you want to do. Everyone always back at the exact same time with no time having passed no matter when you push your button to come back? Okay, whatever.

There’s a lot of ways to do time travel. Closed loops, paradoxes, alternate timelines, whatever happened happened. LOST does the latter and it makes logical sense. The past happened the way it did because you always had gone back to the past and affected it, you just didn’t know it at the time.

But there’s always a certain amount of hand waving in time travel, okay? It’s not easy to make it make sense. Back to the Future is very solid, but there’s a certain amount you just have to accept. Doctor Who does it really well, because it uses practically every type of time travel in its timey wimey way and manages for it to mostly make sense. (River Song’s creator and his glorious power mad timeline aside. Had to write two different fics to fix that!) So like I said, you can go with a different version and have it make sci fi sense, but there are two incredibly important things to remember about time travel. 1. Ethics. 2. Stick to your own rules.

The Russos have confirmed alternate timelines were created with every change our peeps made in the past. According to their version of time travel, it didn’t change their own pasts and can’t affect their future, but it does create alternate timelines.

Just to be clear, alternate realities and alternate timelines are different. The multi-verse theory allows for completely different realities to be stacked alongside each other where every possibility is played out. You can cross between them, sometimes the rules are that you can’t function in that dimension or sometimes you can take the place of that version of you and live there, either way. It’s a whole separate place apart from your reality. Generally, it’s not good form to interfere too much, but if you do, best to get back to your reality quickly. You being there and making changes doesn’t change that world though any more than you switching jobs or meeting someone does in your own timeline. Too much crossing could destroy all realities though!

Alternate timelines are different though. They are deliberate changes stemming from a cause and affect everything from that point on. Most of the time if you jump back to the future from a past where you changed something, then you’re jumping back to the future that change created. Endgame doesn’t do that. Which is very convenient and again, they can make their own rules even if they’re not logical and I’ll believe them, so long as they follow the two main things I said up above.

However, they don’t.

1. Ethically, do they have the right to create other timelines and affect those people’s lives without knowledge of the consequences? There’s now a timeline where a 2012 Loki is loose with the Tesseract. Folks, that’s not a good thing considering his mindset at the time. There’s a 2014 Asgard Thor that doesn’t have his hammer (although when Steve took it back with him in time, I’m unsure whether he returned that as well as the Stones) and whatever Hank was going to use those Pym particles for, he now can’t. 2012 Steve knows about Bucky being alive. 2012 Hydra thinks Steve is on their side. 2014 Thanos and Gamora and Nebula and all his children are gone from that year and now the Guardians will never form in that timeline.

Sure, maybe Frigga doesn’t die now, but the point is there are now numerous different timelines where billions of people’s lives will be different for better or for worse simply because our heroes decided to change their own timeline. How selfish is that? Generally, it’s even a huge question when you’re trying to fix something that’s already been changed, ala SG1 Continuum. Beau Bridges calls Cam, Daniel, and Sam arrogant for assuming that he’ll change billions of people’s lives because they insist the world was supposed to be different. All any of us know is the reality we’re presented with. Anya asks in Buffy how Giles knows the other world (the timeline Buffy came to Sunnydale) is any better. He didn’t. We did, but that’s another story. We should consider how our actions changing time affects things other than the one thing we’re trying to fix.

2. We’ve already been over how they gloss over the need for Pym Particles when it’s convenient for them so I won’t rehash that, but let’s talk about the Stones. Why the heck is it all right to take any person or object you want from the past so long as it’s not the Stones? Just because they make up the fabric of time? Well, if that’s the case, when Thanos destroyed them, all time should have stopped or the universe exploded or something. Honestly, I could have handled their way of doing time travel a lot more if they hadn’t made such a big deal about needing to restore the Stones to the exact moment in time they were left in order to avoid these dark branches. The Ancient One is just arguing for the logic of all the sci fi time travel that Endgame is saying is so wrong. They should have just cut that part out. Of course, that gave Steve an excuse to go back in time…so maybe it was all in the name of his ending, but that’s the poor writing part of that.

How do they get from one timeline to the other? When they jump to the past, they always conveniently end up back in their own present but Old Cap had to jump from his alternate timeline to this one (specified by the Russos, mind you) to give Sam the shield. How did he do that? If he had just used his wrist device at the time he wanted to use it basically as long as it takes for him to accomplish his goal as Bruce says (according to their logic of time travel), he would have appeared on the platform when they expected him to, just old. Of course, that’s not as nice of an aesthetic as Old Cap sitting on a bench, so I’ll give them artistic license on that.

It’s awfully convenient that Steve jumping back to the past and replacing all the Stones is so easy to do. He never runs into any problems jumping into an alternate timeline, but they’ve created so many different ones, I feel like it should be easy to. For instance because they changed things in 2012 and the 1970s, if he jumps into the 2012 one first, couldn’t he possibly jump back to the wrong one? Tony sure made time travel infallible when he fixed it on the fly in his house with his only a genius on earth brain…

But one of my biggest issues is that the past has now become a get out of jail free card. Provided they have enough Pym Particles (which he’s alive now to make), they can fix anything they want in their own timeline (screwing all others) whenever they want. Guys, no one ever has to die again! Because here’s the thing, you can grab anyone from the past seconds before their death and it’s fine.

All of the pathos and feels from Endgame have become meaningless. Let’s go back and get Yinsen from Iron Man, we’re definitely saving Pietro. What about Stanley Tucci? I’m definitely saving Yondu. T’Chaka? Odin, Frigga, Loki, Heimdell, the Warriors Three, and most definitely Vision, Gamora, Natasha, and Tony. See, you can’t bring them back in the snap, but if you grab them before they die, then their timeline suffers, but yours doesn’t and as we’ve already established, apparently that doesn’t matter.

So, guys, we never have to cry again. Everybody lives, Rose, everybody lives! That’s what’s so dangerous and illogical about Endgame and time travel in my opinion.

Yeah, I know that was a novel, but there’s probably actually more I’ve forgotten which is ridiculous. Kudos if you actually read that.

#avengers #marvel #spoilers #text post

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