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bluiex · 1 year

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Absolutely hilarious thought that just came to me as I’m falling asleep:

S6, Mumbo is in love with Grian + Scar is in love with Cub. They end up drinking together to cope with their woes, since both their crushes seem to be oblivious to both of their flirtations. They end up hooking up.

In the morning, they agree the sex was mind blowing and want to do it again. But then again, if anyone finds out, it’ll get around to Grian and Cub and then their romantic desires will reject them even more! Woe truly is upon them!

And then Scar proposes an idea, knowing how possessive Vex can get from firsthand exp. He proposes that the two of them date, to get the other two jealous! Mumbo knows how possessive avians get, so he agrees! Problem solved! They can keep hooking up, and also pursue their hearts! And definitely not fall in love w each other along the way!

Well, what the two spoons didn’t take into account is while the Vex and Avian are possessive, they’re also sooooo petty.

When Cub and Grian find out, Grian goes to Cub and proposes the pair of them date. Revenge date, because their respective business partners are fraternizing with the enemy. So they’re gonna fraternize with the enemy too! See how they like that!!

And boy oh boy they lay it on thick! They reveal it to the server, not by the normal word of mouth, but by Grian sitting in Cubs lap at the next server meeting and feeding each other fruit. Scar and Mumbo are the surprised pikachu face

While Scar n Mumbo start with sex and then devolve into scheme, Cub and Grian start as a scheme and then devolve into sex (they’re both known boundary pushers, of course they poked each other’s buttons). And both groups develop feelings for their fake partners along the way.

(Poor Iskall, rubbing his temples, watching his business partners and his enemies fraternizing. He deals with it, while it’s happening, because he is aware of what both parties are doing. Unlike them, he’s not oblivious! He draws the line when Mumbo and Grian want to bring their new boyfriends for a tour. That is patented Sahara redstone, the enemy is not allowed to see it, guys!)

Idk exactly how it all resolves, but I do know it’d look something like the Spider-Man pointing meme but with 4 spidermen instead of just the 2

— abridged anon

PS, at the end of it all, and through S7, it’s a gen love square but mutual. So Mumbo n Cub are both with scar n grian but not each other, and Scar and Grian are both with cub and mumbo but not each other.

PPS, this is directly the cause of the vibes in Third Life. They’re linked to their metamour, who are getting closer and closer to every day, more and more enchanting, more and more endearing. Privately, at the start, they both wonder what Mumbo n Cub see the other. Privately, by the end, they both know.

PPPS, after landing on Hermitcraft s8, the first thing Scar and Grian do is kiss. It’s the biggest regret they both had, not doing something when they had the chance. But now they’re home and they have all the time in the world, plus their boyfriends!

LMAO man- I love a whole messed up love triangle (but i guess square in this point)

#bluie gets an ask poggers #long post #polyam hermitshipping

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