Inkheart fusion AU

If you've been unlucky enough then you've probably heard of this before. Inkheart fusion AU was originally created in 2018 as a means for me to dive into the 'two minds learning to go by as one' idea and the psychological aspects of it but with Inkheart characters because I was so fixated on this trilogy. As of 2023 I officially renovated it lol!! It's no longer linked to Steven Universe and they're all just people now but with a little twist to it. Everyone is about established in this AU, but I'm going to get started with some useless trivia about these guys first

Basta and Dustfinger

- ADHD creature.

- Surprisingly not hotheaded at all.

- Dustfinger's deceitful nature and Basta's loyalty to Capricorn contradict each other, wailing on him mentally and rendering him unable keep himself together in the long run or form an ideology of his own.

- So in a way he's a living example of "expectation vs reality", having picked up Dustfinger's fire powers and Basta's skill in weapons, as well as Dusty's inability to wield them and Basta's fear of fire, making him inept at both. He seemed great in concept and Capricorn was greatly disappointed with came of him.

- Even Dustfinger himself finds him very freaky because of two sets of arms.

- He has a great sense of sight though. Peripheral vision? What's that?

- All in all he's basically Dustfinger but with more backbone. Literally and figuratively.

Basta and Cockerell

- Often had one of them vying for control at the beginning. Over time this became less apparent the longer he existed.

- Picked up the worst from both. Combine Cockerell's propensity toward violence and Basta's impulsive anger and you have him.

- He dislikes being referred to by either of their names.

- Doesn't care for them old wives' tales but still sports a good-luck charm around his neck to put a little voice in his head at ease.

- Unlike with Dustfinger and Basta, he has poorer eyes and a sucky depth perception due to his inability to move each pair of eyes in unison.

- Probably hit his head on multiple doorframes.

- Can be an imposing individual.

- His penchant at proving himself as pragmatic to Capricorn toned down Basta's fear of fire.

- Most of his clothes are either hand made by maids or passed on to him from Flatnose.

You might’ve already got this before, and I’m asking this in genuinely good faith.

Your essay was very interesting, and convinced me of Erikar as a ship reading. I also really enjoyed your dissection of Eridan as a very honest person drawn into destructive behavior. It very much lines up with his status as a Prince of Hope! One who destroys conviction/belief through conviction/belief.

What confused me was your insistence on the hidden hand of the author. Death of the Author and all that, what’s implied in the text can be taken on its own separate from commentary but you seem to be doing an autopsy— the text implies [this] so *Hussie* must have intended for [this] and then tried to cover it up. If they genuinely thought it was a better ending, why not do it? Why the secrecy, why the feints? I think it’s a little conspiracy-brained to insist on a secret “better ending” that we don’t have author’s word or drafts on.

I’m also a little drifted on your frustration with the deaths of the trolls? You write that the theme of Homestuck— a standard coming-of-age story, a reckoning with society and the exit from youth— is undercut by the deaths of the trolls, because that means they *had* to die, in *punishment*. I disagree. Their deaths are tragic, not just.

Homestuck has a lot of methods of revival, the choice to (for the most part) perma-kill some characters (the trolls for one, and then AR, WQ, and WK) is a deliberate choice to make death mean something. If dying doesn’t mean anything, what are the narrative stakes? Murderstuck marks Gamzee as a threat, Eridan as a tragedy. The deaths there are meant. To be sad. To demonstrate that sometimes kids don’t get to grow up, that sometimes the society they live in cuts them down.

Homestuck is a sad story at times! It doesn’t need an ending where everyone gets to live to keep its coming-of-age conclusion.

I hope this made sense. I’m not trying to attack you, I’m just skeptical of some of your points. I hope you go on to do more analysis in the future!

If you want to believe that, go ahead 👍 again, arguing my points on that front would require its own entire essay, lol, so I'm not really planning to do that as the answer to an ask. The only thing I really want to say here is that while Homestuck is often sad, as you say, its underlying tone is unwaveringly hopeful right up until Game Over/the Retcon, and even kind of beyond that. If you prefer a sad story, then you can have a sad story, but it's just not a reading consistent (to me) with the entire rest of what Homestuck is.

For example, the whole narrative grapples with the debate of predestination vs. free will. Do things happen in Homestuck because they have to, or because characters are making choices? But with the introduction of John's retcon powers, it lands firmly in the "free will" side of the debate: the retcon powers outright defy the power of stable time loops - a reflection of how Breath is associated with freedom and choice. This is the optimistic option.

Another thing the narrative grapples with is the realness vs. fakeness of magic. I don't think it's hard to argue that between LE's "evil wizard" status and Godtier!Calliope's wand-induced black hole that the arrow falls firmly in the realm of magic being undeniably real. This is the optimistic option (and yet another narrative element that Eridan is extremely relevant to).

Moreover, even post-Retcon, there are elements that are kept that soften the tragedy already present in the story - for example, the concept of the Ultimate Self, and the implication that all surviving characters will eventually achieve it, takes the edge off all their doomed and dead counterparts, who won't actually be relegated to double death in the dream bubbles, since in a way, they'll live on through their alpha counterparts. It turns those sacrifices from bitter to bittersweet, and serves as a counterpoint to common takes like John being sad that he doesn't know the version of his friends that exist post-Retcon. The inclusion of it in the post-Retcon story, even with its botched delivery, says to me that Homestuck is still intended to be optimistic at its core, even with the extreme Giving Up that Hussie did.

And let's not forget how Calliope gets to come back to life, no strings attached, and that her stated purpose is only to live. Up to the end, the tone is that of HOPE, and I think there's no mistake that HOPE is supposed to be what defeats LE.

As I said in replies on that post, as an artist, I just can't imagine spending literal years, and literally a million words and thousands of images, writing something that's so thematically and tonally consistent, only to hard swerve right at the end, without extenuating circumstances.

And the thing is, there WERE extenuating circumstances, and they're fairly well-documented.

The kickstarter got funded, and while the story is muddled, we know the production of the game was extremely troubled, and Hussie was having difficulty being a project lead for that while also grappling with everything else. Everything else being, of course, an ever-increasing number of irons in the fire - more third-party artists he had to commission and manage, more merchandise he had to be on top of, bigger updates to sate the demands of the fanbase.

Which, speaking of, was infamously one of the most awful and toxic fanbases to ever exist, and one that Hussie has deliberately attempted to distance himself from since. I can't imagine the kind of daily abuse, harassment, callouts, and worse that Hussie had to endure as Homestuck's creator during the fandom's peak years. I don't blame him at all for turning against them.

Therefore, given the way the tone and themes hard swerve, the way several characters get bent entirely out of shape (you're telling me Karkat had several means before him of bringing his dead friends back and WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING???), the way several plot threads are simply left dangling in the air, and the way some characters reach really weird and unpleasant conclusions (davepeta, gcatavrosprite), I think it's actually LESS reasonable to assume that the ending we got was the original plan. Hussie saw that to do the ending he wanted to do back in act 4, he'd need to write for a year, maybe two years more, and then looked at his mounting stress and pressure, and looked at the fanbase he'd come to hate, and just went "nope." And I can't even really blame him for it, lol. In his position I'd probably do the same.

Also, please don't mistake "the deaths are undone" for "the deaths will not have mattered" - I think there's a reason that the game over timeline characters still exist post-Retcon. Their arcs don't end with their deaths, and their failures are weights on them that must be narratively resolved - I believe that they go on to be the ones to defeat LE, although I have much less evidence to support this. It just makes narrative sense to me - the post-retcon team focuses down the Felt, various Jack Noirs, and the Condesce - the latter of which is their final boss, as the ultimate representation of the shitty society they're doing away with on their path to creating a new one.

Meanwhile, the dead and "irrelevant" versions of the characters, the ones who grappled with and were harmed the most by what LE represents - immaturity, selfishness, and cruelty - go on to band together after death, and defeat him in the bubbles, a culmination of their vengeance for the havoc he wreaked. And with him being destroyed in the bubbles by the dead and irrelevant, symbolically, he will be rendered nothing more than a bad dream for the waking, relevant, and alive.

Thus Gamzee is still an antagonist, although it becomes (Gamzee) and (Equius) who go on to form LE. Those deaths and those failures still matter, they still happen, they still have narrative weight. Even without the Game Over versions of the characters still existing and still being important, the decision to welcome antagonists like Gamzee and Eridan back into the fold is rendered more complex and more significant BECAUSE we've seen how badly they can go.

The speech originally given by post-Retcon Vriska to (Vriska) is also, to me, a weird artifact of this hypothetical original ending - as it exists within the actual comic, it's said by the wrong person to the wrong person - Vriska with her character development reset to a (Vriska) who's had her characterization destroyed in order to make the first Vriska seem more right. I think originally, it would've come from (Karkat) to Meenah, the latter of which being the one whose idea it was to fuck off with the treasure, and who caused the Beforus team's worst problems, and who has a track record of fucking off whenever she's tasked with taking responsibility. Thus, it would serve as a conclusion to Meenah and Karkat's arc, as well as Game Over Sadkat's arc specifically, would convince Vriska to go with him, and would give Meenah some narrative commeuppance, which would kickstart some sort of Beforan troll feelings jam that would rally them together to actually be useful for once in their lives/afterlives and contribute to the LE fight.

Again, if you PREFER the sad ending, I can't stop you, but the reason I'm going in on there being an "original ending" that isn't sad is because the sad ending doesn't make narrative sense. Why is the ultimate self speech coming from a combination of two characters that barely spoke? Why is it triumphant that Meenah and character-development-reset Vriska get to be the big goods in the fight with LE? Why do multiple prophecies suddenly get dropped right at the end when all other prophecies DO come true? Why does Karkat spend so long being sad his friends are dead, and also why is he deliberately set up as the Friends Troll (blood = bonds), and then suddenly not care that multiple methods exist for bringing back his friends? Why bother softening the blow of all the dead/irrelevant alternate selves if they're intended to be fully tragic? Why introduce a mechanic that would let them save whoever they want consequence-free and then not use it to do that? Why does Roxy love wizards so much and then not get to meet the wizard boy? Why is the entire rest of Homestuck so carefully crafted, so narratively satisfying, so thematically and tonally consistent, and then all of it goes to shit right at the end?

So yeah lol this is the SHORT version lol this isnt even the LONG version of this essay

Luffy and the Limitations of Reality

Today I finally got the time to watch the Gear 5th fight episodes, and I had some thoughts. (Well. It's less that I had time, and more that I was paying no attention to anything else because my brain was full of One Piece so I decided to embrace it.)

First off, SEVEN EPISODES??? Wow they really milked it 😂 I don't remember how many chapters it was but seven would be almost a whole volume and I don't think it was that. (Yes, I know, old news that the anime will milk these things for all they're worth, but still.)

Secondly and most of all, though, I want to talk about what Gear 5th, and Luffy's use of it, tells us about him.

Luffy is excellent at working out clever ways to fight opponents, even when it seems impossible, and training himself up to impossible lengths, using everything he has at his disposal.

But Gear 5th is a little bit different in that it's literally world-bending. The fact that he could use it more or less instantly could be the fruit communicating to him via their compatibility...or it could be that Luffy is always pushing the boundaries of reality in his mind.

While it could easily be a bit of both, Luffy's comment that he can do everything he wanted suggests to me that it's more of the latter.

This means, to me, that Luffy has always felt a little bit caged inside his own head, trapped by the boundaries of reality and physics. That Gear 5th to him is breaking free of these trivial cages that have always limited him, and allowed him to have the time of his life.

There's something that resonates with me about that, feeling trapped in your mind and discovering an outlet through imagination and joy that cut through and reshape a dark, serious world.

One Piece is full of metaphors and references and I'm sure we've barely scratched the surface of what Sun God Nika means, and who Joy Boy was.

But I feel there is something momentous about having Luffy be so good at using his Nika powers, with very little learning curve. Something that suggests an enormity about how he fights all systems that limit him all the time, including physics and reality itself.

He's always done silly things in battle—the first examples that come to mind are the time he tried to eat Crocodile and water Luffy and gomu gomu no boh—and Gear 5th harkens back to those with Kaido demanding that Luffy take the fight seriously. But things like grabbing lightning or peeling up the ground? Luffy has these extremely wacky ideas and as soon as he sees that he can make the ground change form to suit him, he immediately starts playing with that.

One Piece has always had a huge theme of freedom, and I like that it takes this theme to extremes—freedom even from things like physics which will forever constrain us.

It's redefined the shonen genre, and continues to do so by defying and subverting genre conventions again and again.

I've been a One Piece fan for over twenty years, and most of the long-running stories that I was a fan of twenty years ago have waned in my esteem; yet here is One Piece, still waxing, still growing in its scope and impact. The queer representation that used to be considered questionable has become something largely seen as very positive—not through retconning, but through expanding the in-world representation of non-cis characters. (I still live in dread that one day this will be taken away, but until then....) The story has had its ups and downs, but it always introduces something new to drag me back in.

Today, it's the notion that true freedom means even freedom from physics and the limitations of the material world, and that could so easily be silly...and it IS silly, but in a way that continues to make me invested in the story, and love Luffy ever more.

Kaido keeps telling Luffy to be serious, calling him a child...but he loses. All this time, he's been waiting for Joy Boy, but when he meets him, he ridicules him.

There's something in here too about the power of childish fun, embracing your brain's weirdness, and not minding when people call you names.

But when I put it like that...hasn't that always been ONE PIECE in a nutshell?

Rereading Hunted

I'm doing my first reread of Spirit Animals in years, in preparation for starting my rewrite and the final fourth arc, and to my delight I'm discovering a lot of things that went over my head as a younger reader. I finished Hunted today, and wanted to talk about some of the more interesting things I noticed -- character details, plot holes and creepy implications. I wasn't expecting to enjoy this book so much, but I've found it tickled my brain just the right way.

So, here are some highlights from my reread -- stuff even I didn't pick up on before.

Please mind the tags as there is a brief mention of rape near the bottom of this post.

Conor looks to be strawberry-blonde on this cover, not golden-blonde as he's described in text. I feel like it suits him.

The war has actually been going on for a while, probably since well before Wild Born. Finn was fighting Conquerors when his brothers were massacred, and it's unlikely that event was recent enough to have taken place during Wild Born. There is also a moment in the first book when General Teng speculates that the Conquerors who are laying siege to Jano Rion entered the city over a period of years in order to avoid suspicion. It would be interesting if the authors tied this in more efficiently, and our protagonists had been living in an active war when they summoned the Four Fallen. This opens up a plot hole, though: the Conquerors operate under Shane, and because Shane is 13 when he mobilizes his people for war in The Book of Shane, the events of the main series must have started quite soon after this. Abeke mentions he's only a little older than she is in Wild Born; since Shane is already 13, he couldn't have been waging war for a few years before this.

The only background I could find for Kunaya's name is that it is of Zimbabwe origin and means "rain". Notice the connection? Abeke is a Rain Dancer.

Rollan mentions that his father is dead, in a way that suggests he knew him. This seems to have been retconned in Fire and Ice, as his father plays no part in Aidana's retelling of their past as a family. Indeed, he is never brought up again after this instance in Hunted.

The Earl of Trunswick was burning bodies. Our protagonists notice something off about the bonfire burning outside Trunswick, with Abeke and Meilin specifically noting its unpleasant smell. And most tellingly, when Conor and Rollan are captured, the Earl tells his soldiers to "burn the body with the rest" if Conor does not put Briggan into passive state. Who exactly the Earl was burning is not entirely clear, but a possible clue comes from a later chapter where he threatens Finn after the breakout from the Howling House. "Don't worry, Finn Cooley! We'll burn that troubled bond out of you yet!" he says. I'm inclined to believe the Earl was burning the bodies of spirit animals with the bonding sickness -- in a twisted attempt to cure their human companions, or merely to torture them further. It's possible he was burning human corpses too; Isilla the Greencloak is mentioned to have been killed, and I get the sense he wouldn't have treated her body with respect. In any case, this is a crazy thing to heavily imply and then never fully explain.

Tahlia is noticeably older than the other three kids. She even takes offense to being referred to as a child by Zerif. (In my rewrite, with the other three being around 13, I think I would place her at 18.)

Tahlia's entire existence doesn't make much sense -- she's supposed to be bonded to the Stetriolan legend of the water-holding frog, but this legend isn't even mentioned in the third arc when our protagonists go scouting for these same legends' bond tokens. Instead, it is replaced by Zhong's water dragon. Additionally, why would Stetriol even need a hero to inspire them? They already have Shane. They're the birthplace of the Conquerors -- what more inspiration do they need? It would make more sense if Tahlia was Zhongese and bonded to a water dragon, like Song's Seaspray. After all, if any nation needed someone to sway them to the Conquerors' side, it would be the fallen Zhong.

Ana, the Amayan girl with the Gila monster, was chosen to be a part of the False Four for her "exceeding connections". This makes me wonder if she was intended to be related or otherwise close to the Prime Minister of Amaya. It's never revealed what Zerif meant by this and Ana presumably dies in Fire and Ice.

The False Four in general are a really interesting (and promising) concept and I wish more was done with them. I wanted to see them rallying the four nations to the Conquerors' side and creating more of a threat to the Greencloaks! I wanted to see each of them directly paralleling the True Four! Instead, they all ended up incarcerated, insane or dead by the fourth book. Ah well. That's what my rewrite is for.

The absence of Lady MacDonnell is noted, but never explained. Interestingly, Rollan notices this in the same breath as he does Lord MacDonnell's children being so rigidly obedient. Considering Lord MacDonnell's character, I'm willing to bet he had his wife executed or otherwise removed for some transgression she made. After all, one of the Three Undeniable Truths is "death".

Lord MacDonnell is a really terrible guy. Despite aiding our protagonists in this book and The Evertree, he is a nasty person who keeps his own people in a permanent state of fear. This book is full of despicable characters, for sure.

What were Devin and Karmo intending to do with Abeke? And why her? Because of her connection to the Conquerors, I'm guessing. But it's never really explained. They tell her they're taking her back to Nilo, but there's no way they would just kindly take her home and let her go. Maybe the Conquerors planned to give her the Bile and then use her in some scheme. I wish this book wasn't so vague (but I also don't because it gives me more freedom as a writer).

Devin calls Abeke "vermin" in the final battle. Interestingly, Karmo doesn't seem to approve of this comment. In fact, Karmo is a lot more sympathetic than I remembered.

This is the only first arc book that Shane doesn't appear in, and for no apparent reason. I think it would have been a good choice to include him and plan to in my rewrite.

Finn has PTSD. Poor guy. I kind of like that he didn't return to Greenhaven at the end and instead stayed in Glengavin -- after all, it was the Greencloaks and their talk of destiny that led to Finn's brothers being killed, Donn retreating and Finn being so deeply scarred.

The Earl seems to threaten Conor's mother with rape in the foreboding letter he sends. I've seen several people discuss this. He tells Conor his family will starve if he doesn't hand over the Iron Boar, "and the fate of your mother will be far crueller". It's a chilling implication, and certainly a choice to include in a children's book.

Overall, Hunted is dark. For that reason, it's become one of my favourite books in the series. Beautiful cover, great writing, cool new guy introduced, failure for our protagonists and an epic cliffhanger. This one is a gem.

This is part of an ongoing series.

Wild Born | Hunted | Blood Ties | Fire and Ice | Against the Tide | Rise and Fall | The Evertree

Immortal Guardians | Broken Ground | The Return | The Burning Tide

Heart of the Land | The Wildcat's Claw | Stormspeaker | The Dragon's Eye

Tales of the Great Beasts | The Book of Shane | Tales of the Fallen Beasts

in defense of carter hall (hawkman) part 1

important post i'm making on carter hall because i didn't expect to like this insanely problematic mentally insane man as much as i do now. but after digging through interviews with geoff johns, i have a good picture on what he was achieving with carter.

let's start off with the circumstances surrounding carter's death. in the 90s, there was an event called zero hour. katar hol had merged with carter hall, shiera hall, and a hawk god. here is the death of shiera & carter's commentary:

katar ends up dying at the end of hawkman (1993) as he becomes mentally unstable due to the merge and he's forced into limbo. this leads into jsa (1999) where carter is revived.

now before i continue, here's geoff johns saying he intended for carter to come off as 'bipolar', while the meaning itself is questionable when used here, i think anyone with a brain could easily tell that carter was clearly supposed to come off as not being mentally well at all. even in hawkman (2002), kendra begs for carter to go back to 'normal' to which carter tells her 'this is normal'.

here's another panel that was written by geoff johns, where he compares himself to jean loring. if you know who jean loring is & what her mental conditions were (to the point where she got locked up in arkham asylum in a very bad storyline), you would understand why this is significant for carter. he's admitting that he too is not mentally well.

carter is revived and it's canon that he feels shiera's soul (obviously referring to kendra since she is a reincarnation of her).

it's this panel that particularly makes a lot of people angry. and why? because it's realistic. carter has just been revived from the dead after witnessing his wife, shiera, die in front of his eyes. kendra just found out about her being apart of the reincarnation cycle & her suicide attempt. kendra is YOUNG. it's even retconned now that she's actually been apart of the reincarnation since birth in the current hawkgirl run. meaning she won't be the same age as carter regardless BECAUSE shiera died and she's the one who's usually the same age as carter. she's not going to accept this, and he's clearly going delusional, which lets be serious.... you're lying if you're telling me you wouldn't do the same in his exact situation.

honestly, it's just really a bizarre panel to be mad at because at that point, you just want your comics to be fluffy watered down domestic fanfics with no real or interesting emotions. this takes place immediately after he's revived, so he clearly won't be well in this stage at all. it gets taken so out of context because people lack basic media literacy & look for the most problematic thing while ignoring the problematic moments their favs have too. and it's also one of my biggest cons with hawkman 2018 because while i love it lore wise.... he doesn't really have much personality.

anyways, here's kendra admitting that she does find carter attractive but she needs space. now again... the context is that kendra found out the true circumstances regarding her reincarnation of shiera. JUST found out. of course she'd want space which again, gets brushed over a lot. kendra doesn't know who she is. what she's feeling is normal. also carter's way older than her like lmao (now if i were to bring up problematic age gaps in comics, we'd be here all day so don't bother)

another thing to say is that the 'stalker' thing only happened in ONE issue. ONE comic issue. it wasn't an arc and wildcat was even encouraging him to 'chase' kendra. the only specific parts that were an 'arc' were carter seeing kendra kissing sandy and the aftermath of that which again... jealousy is a totally realistic emotion. but it's been taken so out of context due to the dcau making it way worse & completely erasing the actual context that you'd think him being a stalker would be the entire crux of his character or something. in this exact issue, carter says that what he's doing is WRONG and he needs to accept her for who she is.

In Defense of Jess Mariano's Summer Birthday

This is my loose theory on his birthday and there will definitely be big gaping holes in this. Please also bare in mind it's been three years since my last full rewatch (of the first 4 seasons anyway) and I'm currently in the middle of crawling through season 2 again. This post is a disaster so please bear with me lol There seems to be pretty a consistent timeline established within the show (new seasons of the show almost aways begin in September/ late summer within their world, which helps a lot when you're trying to date something that happened). Since it's been 3 years and my brain is swiss cheese, please feel free to chime in with your thoughts and deflate my theory as you may. Jess arrives right as Rory is starting school. September. It is immediately established he's already 17 years old at that point (pokey hole: they retconned a lot of things that were established in his first episode, like how long his parents had been together so who knows, maybe he was actually still 16) His age is rarely mentioned outright, although I do remember one of his season 4 episodes where Luke and Liz are discussing his whereabouts; she says he’s 19 now and wants nothing to do with her.

Season 2=17 Season 3=18 Season 4=19 With that in mind I afforded him the longest possible timeline to have a birthday and decided it would have been right before he arrived in Stars Hollow, in August or September. If he had had a November or December birthday he would have turned 18 quickly early in season 2 and by season 3 he would be 19 already. Rory's birthday is in October. In 6x8 she had just celebrated her 21st. He acknolwedges that it had just passed, so this episode would have taken place in November? My theory was he would have already had to be 21 (the drinking age in the US) to get into the bar where he drank with Logan and Rory so at the very least that would have eliminated most of November or a December birthday. However people like to poke holes in this theory stating that either the bar wasn't carding anyone (since it was a college bar) or he had a fake ID. Jess says to Luke in 3x6 that he's still a minor, but going by my loose observation of either the Gilmore Girls or a real world timeline, over a year had already passed at that point since he arrived in Stars Hollow as a 17 year old. He was already 17 in early September when he arrived in s2 and in this s3 episode (the one where Rory and Lorelai egg his car because they suck and are awful) it appeared to be deeper into fall rather than summer (the episode aired on November 5 2002). It's only 3 episodes ahead of Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving (Thanksgiving takes place in late November, just for your information if you're not American). So I've decided to poke my own hole in the "I'm underage" comment and chalk it up to Jess being a sassy asshole. A sasshole. Besides this episode being the one where Luke finds out he has a car AND he makes the comment about being a minor, it is also the episode where it's revealed he's been working at Walmart (driving a forklift). I don't know about the laws in 2002, but as of 2023, in the state of Connecticut you have to be 18 to drive a forklift. Maybe this was a shady Walmart that happily violated child labor laws, but seeing as Jess' Walmart manager was one of the only people who ever believed in his potential, I don't think he would exploit him like that. Anyway, those are my thoughts. Feel free to deflate them to death and I will update the post if need be. I do want to add one more thing: Based on her mugshot (lol) we know Rory was born in early October 1984 but graduated high school in 2003. I was born in February 1984 and graduated in 2002. Clearly Rory missed the kindergarten cutoff due to her October birthdate and had to start school a year later than most of her fellow 1984 babies. I support the theory that the same thing could have happened to Jess in order to put him in the same grade as Rory. But school cutoff dates vary so wildly that could really put his birthday anywhere from September-December. Even though this would contradict my own theories, it’s an idea that makes sense for the November/December birthday theory so I can support it.

RHatO's perception of UtRH and DitF.

Yesterday i was going through RHatO New 52 and I fell down a rabbit hole. Every time I re-read that book it feels like I am reading it for the first time, my brain just deletes all proof that I have read it over and over just to make myself suffer and because I need information on a particularly stupid panel or something like that. 

This time around I was going through the book to look for Jason interactions with the Joker, there are little of those and it almos always consists of Jason promising to kill the Joker but not actually doing it in the end because DC can’t have its favourite killer clown dead.

The other times that the Joker is brought up is when Jason goes on about him having being killed by him and all that.  

Now, here is the thing, Jason (DC and Lobdell) really thinks that his death was his own fault and that him wanting the joker dead during the events of UtRH were the needs of an “angry little boy”. 

It is really strange to me that a writer and a publisher actually treat the book/story that brought Jason back to life (both literally and figuratively) so poorly. Through reducing Jason’s pain at the thought of Bruce not avenging his death and bringing yet another child to play Robin after his death AND blaming Jason (a fifteen year old) for his own death instead of the adult that was responsible for him and the actual mad man that killed him, DC is doing a major disservice to UtRH and Jason’s motivations and real characterisation. 

Lets not forget that not only were the events of UtRH heavily misunderstood but the events of RH: The Lost Days were erased, because Jason was never trained by Talia, the LoA or Talia’s contacts. In New 52 all that was retconned away and the only thing Talia did was putting Jason in the Lazarus Pit and then taking him almost immediately to the All-Castle and Ducra so she could teach Jason to be a “better person” and to not let vengeance be his only motivation. 

Jason as per Winick’s writing was trained for what i think were two to three years, as per Lobdell’s writing Jason trained only for one year and only with the All-Castle. This could be because the New 52 had an intense problem with the ages of its characters and there just wasn’t enough time for many things to happen in between events. But what I am trying to say is that the modifications to Jason’s training and time to develop his true feelings were taken away from him and that allowed Lobdell and DC to make Jason’s motivations shallow and “reckless”. 

Here are some of the panels that I came across yesterday when I was going down memory lane.

- RHatO vol 1 #5

The oversimplification of Jason's feelings is present here but its also brought up as the wrong thing to do.

Ducra trained him to be an assassin but just for their cause (fighting the Entitled) not for anything else so Jason wanting to kill the Joker was written as something that Jason wanted to do because he didn't yet understand his full potential and because he was just an "angry little pup" in a world that has much more to offer other than vengeance. Which is correct as a concept but it's not the complete truth as to why Jason did what he did in Gotham during the events of UtRH.

- RHatO vol 1 #6

This is a weird ass retelling of things that didn't happen in UtRH.

The first one is just a blatant lie! Jason wasn't mad at Bruce for not arriving in time (or for leaving him with the Joker), Jason forgave Bruce for it after Bruce made a big deal out of it!!! Jason was mad at Bruce for not having killed the Joker after that dumb clown killed him when he was barely a teenager.

The second one is closer to what happened in Lost Days when Jason decided to not make the Batmobile explode because he wasn't looking to kill the Batman but its still way off from what happened.

- Red Hood/Arsenal #6

"Blaming everyone but me", honestly what is wrong with DC? Having Jason say that about his own death is just terrible.

It's not a crime to put the blame on the Bat and the clown, I promise the world won't explode if you do it.

There is no way that DC and Lobdell see UtRH only as Jason looking for vengeance. Do they even read their own material?

- RHatO vol 2 #10

Here we go again. This is obviously Jason talking to an illusion of his younger self but what he says is something that he actually feels is the truth.

Lobdell writes it as a fact, Jason doesn't take it back and nobody is there to tell Jason that what he is saying isn't the truth.

It's messed up.

- RHatO vol 2 #50

"I got a second chance"

He screwed up his second chance????? Is Lobdell aware that without UtRH he could have never actually been able to write his self-insert Red Hood book? Asking for a friend.

As far as I understand it, Jason didn't screw up his second chance, he built from it but he was never developed properly after UtRH. The only person who screwed up was you Scott, you ruined the opportunity to develop an already stablished character origin just to tell your story and you did it until the very last issue they let you write.

Anyway, this is what I wanted to talk about because yesterday it slapped me in the face as I was re-reading these books. It's a real shame that things were heavily distorted to fit another writer's story. But these books have been written and carried for 10 years so Jason's true motivations will be hidden until new readers find that one Batman story that brought Jason back to comics.

Retcon

noun

(in a film, television series, or other fictional work) a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

verb

revise (an aspect of a fictional work) retrospectively, typically by introducing a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events.

Retroactive Continuity

Reframing past events to serve a current plot need. [...] In its most basic form, this is any plot point that was not intended from the beginning. [...]

Post-hiatus C2, and the Great Retcon... 

(The retconning really started with the playlists, but we’ll come back to those.)

First, some context:

SDCC (July ‘18) - Marisha was asked directly about Beau and Yasha and if she and Ashley had discussed it. “After the first few times that I kinda put the moves on her, we were at break, and I could sense that Ashley was wanting to ask me something. And she was like, ‘Hey, I’m just curious... is Beau- ’ And at that exact moment someone’s like, ‘Yo Ashley! We gotta go! We gotta get on stage!’ And I was like, ‘Bye!’” Then Brian asked, “And you haven’t had a further conversation about it?” Marisha said, “Nope!”

(Seven months into the campaign, and no discussions. Hmm.)

NYCC (Oct. ‘18) - Marisha was asked about who would Beau get flustered over if they ever flirted back, and yes, she said Yasha and laughed, but then said, “It’s like throwing pebbles at a brick wall.” Meaning, she was putting stuff out there and not getting anything back. (And, she really wasn’t. I still remember when a major portion of the fandom, including the diehard shippers [of which I was one at the time], weren’t sure if Ashley was even interested in this. More than that, it wasn’t until the Zuala reveal, that the fandom and the players found out for certain that Yasha was actually into women.) 

(To me, Marisha’s answer here also suggests that at this point, there were still no discussions.)

Talks Machina for ep61 (May ‘19) - Marisha was asked ‘What was going through Beau's mind when Yasha revealed her past with Zuala? Has this changed any feelings Beau might have? Or has Beau's character growth allowed her to mature a little more with regards to her feelings about Yasha?’ Which Marisha instantly pegged as a shipping question. And she said, “I’m trying to figure out a way to answer this to not ruin everyone’s internal canon, in their brains. I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha. But then also, is that on me? Have I been leading everybody on?”

So, you had all of that, all the way up to ep61.

None of this indicates that ‘it’s been happening since ep1′ or that it’s ‘the slowest of slow burns.’ In fact, it shuts that down completely.

Moving forward to the Beau and Fjord convo (ep108)...

Marisha suddenly having Beau say “There was something about Yasha from the moment that I saw her”. She’s retrospectively attempting to give that moment more weight, when (based on the examples above) we know that the over-the-top flirting was just for fun. And truthfully, she really wasn’t flirting with Yasha any differently than she was flirting with any hot female NPC the party crossed paths with.

And now it’s clear that that one line she said is the reason why BY shippers have suddenly clung on to the idea that “It’s been happening since episode one! SLOooOowBuUuuUrn!!!!!” when its clear that it was not planned. (Not before the hiatus-from-hell, anyway.)

Then Marisha having Beau go from describing Jester as “She's fun. She makes me laugh. I like her ridiculous plans. I think she's complicated and layered.” to “It’s easy to lust after her”. I’ll direct you to Talks for ep85. After Marisha had mentioned that it was a bunch of little things that build, and then pinpointed a few of them, Brian tried to make a joke and said “So you’re saying it’s been more a series, than just one moment that you can point to and say ‘It was right here when I went, let’s fuck!’” Marisha specifically countered that with “It’s not even about 'let’s fuck’. It’s nothing sexual in this case.” (Having her backpedal on this so heavily was such a huge gut punch and was the thing that wholly soured everything for me.)

There were so many better, more delicate ways Marisha could’ve had Beau examine/come to grips with her feelings for both women, but all the reduction and saying they were ‘transferable’ was nothing short of insulting.

On that same Talks episode, Marisha also said this: “Going into this campaign all of us were like, ‘No relationships!’ I didn’t want it! I didn’t ask for this!”, while smiling. What this shows me is that she was thinking of a relationship in regards to Beau’s feelings for Jester. As if she was maybe even anticipating this culminating into something? Why even mention relationships at all if this was nothing serious and was always meant to fall by the wayside?

Brian then followed up with, “In my opinion, as a viewer, Beau’s someone who seems to be on the search for innocence. Whether innocence lost or just innocence in general. And to me it makes sense that you would be attracted to someone who exudes genuine and sort of intrinsic innocence.” Marisha replied with “Fairly astute.”

The next question was, ‘Beau has taken a pretty casual, no-strings-attached approach toward sex and relationships so far. How do her feelings for Jester compare to her previous romantic flings?’ Marisha answered immediately and very seriously with, “Noncomparable. It’s more than that.” She wasn’t playing coy and it didn’t take her a century to find the words. She didn’t even have to think about it. Succinct and direct.

How did all of that ‘organically’ disappear completely, after only 14 episodes?

(Everything felt more genuine back then, because it seemed like Marisha was going where the character was taking her, and not where she thought the character should be going.)

Post-hiatus, everyone and their mother are acting like BY is some epic romance-of-the-ages that was all mapped out, and like Beau having feelings for Jester was just some sort of temporary curveball. That Beau was confused, or was just missing Yasha and projected onto Jester. 

That’s really fucked up no matter how you try to justify it. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen another piece of media backpedal this hard, and this callously.

None of that squares with what we were shown or with what we were told. Until, everybody made a hard pivot and now they've done (and continue to) do everything they can to rewrite campaign history, even though we have plenty of footage that contradicts the new ‘company line’.

Now, where the retconning truly began, with the playlists...

Remember the first round of playlists? Those were released randomly, whenever the cast felt like posting them. I also don’t remember there being announcements every time one came out either.

This time though, they had a fixed schedule, complete with official twitter announcements. As they started to just get back into the swing of things, Yasha’s playlist was released right after the first episode back.

So, right out of the gate, they had to make sure they started to drill home a certain mindset for viewers. That’s why Yasha had a song called ‘Let Me Hold You’. (Lo and behold, a few episodes in, Beau randomly asks Yasha to hold her.)  A few weeks later, Beau’s playlist was released, and there was a song with the caption saying ‘Ultimately, all she really wants is someone to hold, and someone to hold her’. (But sure, no planning here! The wording is just a total coincidence, folks!)  

The other song, directly about Yasha, mentions ‘a crush forged in battle’ (ok), and ‘awkward flirtations’ (???). Yasha never openly flirted with Beau before the hiatus, until maybe right after the Obann arc, in a very vague way.

On Beau’s playlist, there’s nothing about Jester. The one track that mentions her is actually about Artagan. Which, after all they’ve been through together, is fucking ridiculous no matter how you slice it.

In addition to that, Marisha had made Beau’s time in Kamordah (ep92/e93), and the incidents with her family and the Hag, about the group now, not about Jester, fully contradicting her own reiterated words that ‘Jester saved Beau’.

When Beau was talking to her dad, reverting back to her old self and getting all riled up, Jester helped her in that moment, and saved her. Yes, the group was very supportive, and yes, Yasha said something to him before they left the house (that Beau was out of earshot for by the way), but Jester was Beau’s rock throughout that whole thing. 

With the Hag, when the group was having a hard time coming up with a solution, and they realized they might actually lose Beau, Jester stepped up and took control of the situation. She, single-handedly, saved Beau/the group from the Hag. And with that, Jester also became Beau’s hero.

In both instances, Marisha thanked Laura/Jester. First on Talks for ep92 with both of them on it. She reiterated, “You saved me. You saved Beau.” Then on Twitter after ep93 with, “Still processing last night. Saved by a cupcake? Eh - saved by @LauraBaileyVO ... again.” 

But now suddenly, it’s the group. Just the group? 

Now, don’t get me wrong. The entire party showing Beau support was incredibly important. The M9 showed her that they value her, that she’s important to them. It solidified the theme of ‘found family’, which was beautiful. But, to not also highlight how crucial Jester was in all of this, after making such a big deal about it? 

That is very deliberate retconning of some hugely important, highly emotional moments for Beau that directly involved Jester.

Any of Beau’s organic and genuine connection with Jester (which encompasses their deep friendship as well as Beau’s romantic feelings) has been massively reduced (and now erased), specifically to prop up a supposed ‘deep’ connection with someone else that was barely ever there, is still barely there, and has no actual depth at all.

Case in point, the BY date (ep126) showcased this fact to the most extreme degree...

Yasha’s infamous line: “I fell in love with you in Kamordah.” So, Yasha literally watched Beau relive her childhood trauma, and caught feelings during it. I’m not wrong in thinking that that’s just a little disturbing, am I? Also, if that’s the moment she supposedly fell for her, why did she not offer her any form of help? I mean, besides that one sweet moment with TJ, the entire time Beau was in Kamordah, she was the most broken down she’d ever been and needed some real comfort, which is something Yasha did not give her. (Jester did though. In spades.)

So, on multiple levels, this seems highly out-of-place. 

Several people have said that that line was not thought through. In my opinion, it actually was thought through and was only said specifically to have viewers completely dismiss everything else that happened in the Kamordah episodes. Despite the FACT that Beau and Yasha barely interacted during those episodes, they have now stripped down the party’s experience there, and twisted it into a giant BY shipping moment. (Further feeding into the retcon.)

Their ‘trip down memory lane’ was laughable. Most of the things that were mentioned, Yasha wasn’t even around for. 

Gee, remember when the cast was actually good at separating what they knew from what their character knew? When you start injecting what you know into your character (who isn’t supposed to know, because they literally were not physically there), you are metagaming. 

The entire date was one big metagaming bonanza. And it had to be, or else they would’ve had nothing to talk about. There is not one thing they have to call their own. To people who don’t have BY tunnel vision, it was made glaringly obvious that they have nothing in common and their dynamic is fairly shallow. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are sitting there watching this unfold, smiling and nodding along as if it all makes perfect sense and isn’t utterly ridiculous. (And I’m sitting here wondering when I got shunted into the Twilight Zone.)

The shallowness holds true for FJ as well. Aside from both of them being from the Menagerie Coast, what exactly do they have in common?

While Fjord has grown as a character, as far as Jester goes, he still does not seem to have the capacity to fully understand her as a person, or fully respect her abilities/emotional strength/intelligence. He doubted her often, which led to Jester getting irritated with him several times over the course of at least the last third of the pre-hiatus episodes. He even continued to doubt her judgment (in regards to the Traveler) in the post-hiatus Rumblecusp episodes. But hey, they’ve kissed now (ep118) so all of that gets wiped clean, and he’s being touted as her ultimate romantic soulmate who’s oh-so-perfect for her.

For fuck’s sake, why does that sound like something pulled right out of a CW show?

(I'm convinced that the only reason FJ is ‘popular’ is because the shippers have projected Travis and Laura’s real-life marriage onto the characters. If Fjord and Jester were played by different people, or Travis and Laura were not together, people would realize how paper-thin and half-assed this pairing is and hardly anyone would care about it.) 

Beau and Jester had developed the deepest, most genuine friendship and overall dynamic in the entire party, that should have absolutely been given the chance to be explored further. They constructed a pretty solid foundation that could have easily been built upon, and the fact that it’s been unceremoniously pulverized and snuffed out in favor of such overwhelming tepidity and flavorlessness will never not infuriate me.

Finally, to finish this off, I will say with my whole chest, that that is one of many nasty, rotten patterns that I’ve seen far too much of in all kinds of scripted media, which is...

Not wanting to commit to the thing that’s actually growing organically, because it’ll ruffle too many feathers. It’s too inconvenient. It gets in the way. Because of course, nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to take a risk, or you know, actually follow where the natural fucking chemistry is taking you. Of course not! Heaven forbid, we go down a different road! You have to go with what’s ‘expected’, no matter what, at the great expense of something new that’s come along that’s clearly better. Even when what’s expected is hollow as fuck and doesn’t make sense anymore, because characters have grown and dynamics have changed, they decide to dig their heels in with the most fanservice-y options instead.

Yet this is UNSCRIPTED media. A D&D campaign, that’s supposed to be mostly improvised. D&D, that’s all about taking chances/going with your gut/making bold choices/etc., from people who have claimed up and down that they “like to see things play out at the table”.

So why are those same disingenuous patterns being utilized here too?

One of the big reasons I got into CR was because I naively believed that because the format was different, that the storytelling would be different. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about running into this nonsense here. That I wouldn’t have to worry about getting bullshitted, jerked around, and having my intelligence insulted left and right, but alas, here we are.

In conclusion...  [TL;DR, kinda?]

Reframing past events (between B & J, and B & Y) to serve a current plot need (railroading BY):                                                                                      

Beau playlist ignores Jester’s importance to what transpired in Kamordah. (minimizing/erasure)

Beau playlist doesn’t acknowledge/hint at Beau’s feelings for Jester. (total erasure. could have at least included a song about feelings being lost, or being confused about feelings for a friend, but Marisha took the cowardly route, and didn’t bother mentioning it at all.)

Beau playlist claims that Beau and Yasha have both been flirting forever. (easily debunked by session footage.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “There was something about Yasha from the moment I saw her”. (it was just about hooking up then, and stayed that way for a majority of the campaign. This line suggests that Beau has had ‘deeper feelings’ for and/or has been ‘in love’ with Yasha since the first episode, that this was all intentional build-up, which again, is easily debunked by session footage, panels, and TM.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “It’s easy to lust after her.” (minimizing/erasure/twisting of Beau’s feelings for Jester, which Marisha had previously stated were ‘noncomparable’ , ‘more than that’, and that her attraction is ‘nothing sexual in this case.’)

This isn’t a fucking conspiracy theory. This is plain evidence of a planned retcon.

Keeping my fingers crossed for that Black Widow meta

Aha, okay. As usual, I am ludicrously easy to enable, so let's take a crack at this. The ask obviously contains SPOILERS for the Black Widow film (and is also tagged "black widow spoilers" if you're planning to filter), and discussion/reference to other films/properties in the MCU, though I don't feel like any of those are still a secret.

Anyway, as I said in my earlier post, I can't believe I am actually still trying to critically analyse a Marvel production in the year of our Lord 2021, but then, I feel like we all have a complicated relationship with it. Likewise, the feeling of "oh wow NOW you're giving Natasha a solo movie after you killed her off in a cheap and fairly sexist way in Endgame?" If this film had come out ten or even five years ago, it would have been major, but holding it off until now seems to have left most of us justifiably unimpressed. Plus, as I am absolutely not the first person to point out, it renders Natasha's sacrifice in Endgame "because I don't have a family" even more narratively incoherent. I realize that this film was written after that one by totally different people, there's no point in expecting the MCU to make consistent canonical sense throughout its eighty billion different films/series, we were all stuck with a mess after the Whedonified Age of Ultron Nat, and so forth, but still. Natasha explicitly SAYS that she has two families (her wacky Russian found family of spies and the Avengers) and her decision to leap off the cliff in Endgame to save Clint and his retconned perfect white heterosexual nuclear family.... Hmmmm. To which I say to you, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I do bite my thumb at Male Writers, sir.

Likewise, while I am wildly attracted to Florence Pugh as Yelena and deeply desire to be wrapped between her thighs, the movie felt more like her story than Nat's. Yelena drove most of the plot and the action, while Nat was just kind of along for the ride. As a solo piece, we really didn't learn that much about Natasha aside from the opening scene (which felt like it was straight out of The Americans and probably worked the best of the whole film for the reason) with her childhood in America. But even the infamous "what happened in Budapest" backstory with her and Clint was quickly info-dumped rather than shown, and they could have taken more narrative risks or included more flashbacks or otherwise given us more NATASHA, y'know??? Instead of cramming the film into the small space between Civil War and Infinity War and making it even weirder that Nat seemingly has no memory or reference to these events when she returns to the team at that time. Why not show her looking for Yelena or her actual defection to the Avengers or anything else we might want from a film that purportedly exists entirely to provide backstory for a now-dead character? It felt like even in the film universe, the main quest was being repeated -- she tried to kill Baddie McSoviet once before and it didn't work out, so she has to do it again, something something. Okay.

As for that, good ol' Marvel and its American Superiority TM. The only actual Eastern European actress in this film about Eastern Europeans was Antonia/Taskmaster, played by the Ukrainian Olga Kurylenko (and I was very interested in her?? If she's supposed to be a narrative foil and a ghost of Nat's past and mark of her former sins, etc., why not develop her as an actual character?) Everyone else were Brits and Americans hamming it up with even more chew-the-scenery fake Russian accents than Elizabeth Olsen's "Sokovian" accent as Scarlet Witch. If it's established that they all have perfect American accents at the start of the movie, why is Nat the only American-accented character in the modern day if she had presumably the exact same childhood as Yelena? I know it's another way to set her apart, but that and Baddie McSoviet (the Russians are finding a way to steal free will from people's brains! Zomgz!!! Is this 2021 or 1981?) were straight out of the Cold War in terms of its not-so-veiled American Supremacy Message. Likewise, making modern!Natasha a former KGB agent never really made sense, since she says in Winter Soldier that she was born in 1984, and we see her in this film as an 11-year-old in 1995. But the USSR collapsed in 1991, when she was seven, and the Red Room appears to be an entirely unrelated flying....lab....thingy run by a generic evil Russian (Ray Winstone, likewise Hamming Up Accent). So like. What is she, guys?? Make up your minds!!!

Likewise, Baddie McSoviet/Dreykov as a villain obviously plays into the hoary old Hollywood "All Bad People Are Recognizable As Being Terrible Sexists and Also Probably Russians" trope, but aside from that, he doesn't make sense. He has this entire army of basically unstoppable Widows and he has just been.... waiting around and causing random explosions? Or was just waiting for Nat and company to return so he could Put His Evil Plan Into Motion? Are we really supposed to believe that this guy has just been sitting up in his flying saucer and essentially never doing anything this whole time? He had about a million chances to launch this take-over-the-world plan long before Natasha ever got there. Plus, I.... am.... not sure what to think (aside from /deep sigh/ MARVEL) about the fact that all the Widows we see dying/getting killed on screen are women of color. (Then the Black surgeon who was about to remove Yelena's brain in the Red Room and the only other Black guy being Natasha's errand boy, which just... in context... YIKES.) I think the fact that there are random Black background Widows are supposed to mean that they're inclusive and badass or something? Scarlett Johansson also has her own issues with White Feminism and all the other things we've critiqued her for before, so after TFATWS and the Flag Smashers, Marvel clearly has found its subtly racist sweet spot. As usual?

The end of the film also just basically turns into the standard Marvel empty-spectacle/cool-looking fights/people flying through the air thing, and I wanted a lot more focus on the wacky found-family Russian-spy hijinks (I did love them, for reasons) and character dynamics, rather than all of them separately fighting baddies in different places. I did obviously have feelings about Natasha putting the parachute on Yelena to save her life. But why were we then denied Nat/Gamora parallels/relationships/any character development or interaction at all in Infinity War/Endgame? Both of them are trained assassins adopted into a non-biological family that they have a complicated relationship with, but end up forging a strong bond with their sister (Yelena/Nebula) nonetheless. Of course, that would have required Endgame to put more effort into its female characters than what it did, which was one (1) Epic CGI Charge Scene at the very end, and literally nothing else. Not that I am still salty about this or anything.

Anyway. The movie was genuinely fun in places. The wacky Russian found family of spies was definitely the best part, even if it made Endgame even more nonsensical as a result. But I wanted this movie to be a lot better than it was overall, though I probably would have liked it more if it had actually come out in a timely fashion and wasn't only released after they killed her off. It just feels like there were so many possible threads of potential that could have been done with Natasha if they were actually interested in experimenting and exploring the character and not just coming up with new baddies and ways to go boom, and it unfortunately missed the mark with that.

Hey there @vvithteeth! So, this isn’t EXACTLY what you asked for the readlist to focus on, but I think it’s worth checking out all the same for a general sense of Emma’s history leading up to her current character!

 EVIL 80s EMMA She’s not good reference for who Emma is NOW, but a good look at what she used to be, and what she’s overcome. I think looking at Emma when she was at her worst, helps one appreciate her at her best. If you see what she had to rise above in herself, you understand the self that she’s fighting back, you have a better appreciation for the kinds of things she’s tempted towards---and the kinds of things she no longer does.  X-Men (1st series) #129-131 is her introduction, as she tries to recruit Kitty Pryde to her school before Xavier does. One of the most chilling moments, for me personally, is when she threatens to destroy Storm’s mind so that she will be “human only in physical form” And then Jean drops a house on her, which is why she’s not involved in the Dark Phoenix saga, as she was still recovering.  Emma continues trying to get Kitty and other kids into her clutches in  Uncanny X-Men (1st series) #180 and  New Mutants (1st series) #15-17, but in New Mutants (1st series) #38-40 she finally manages it by exploiting their current fucked-up state and having her student Empath use his powers to manipulate Magneto.  But when the kids decide to return to Xavier’s school, Emma allows them to do so without a fight, and just tells them that they’ll always have a place with her if they need it. Which seems nice, but then her thought balloons reveal that this is just so the kids won’t believe it when Magneto tells them she’s evil. Firestar #1-4: Whoa mama, Emma is at max abusive here. See, she desires to eliminate Selene, and to this end she trains a young mutant she names Firestar. She does so by manipulating the girl, isolating her, convincing her that she NEEDS Emma to help her control her powers or else she’s dangerous to others, and even KILLS HER PET HORSE. Emma is someone who says “I love children. Teaching is my life.” and she MEANS IT, she has a genuine call to teach and her love for her students is her driving force, but here we see how she USED to treat her students. Then put her against who she is now, it’s a huge contrast. Honestly, I don’t know why SOME WRITERS want to erase her growth by pretending she was Actually Good All Along but yeah, here’s Bad Emma. This is who she fights. This is what she has risen above.  EMMA’S BACKSTORY ISSUES Emma’s history is. . . kind of multiple choice. She tells one version in Generation X #24, but this doesn’t fit at all with the Emma Frost miniseries that came out from 2003 -2004, which also doesn’t exactly fit with “X-Men Origins: Emma Frost” single-issue backstory. I personally would read the “X-Men Origins” one and at least the beginning of the miniseries, specifically the parts that deal with her home life. The reason is that both of these show how unhealthy Emma’s home was growing up, and how that made her who she is. When I saw I think Emma is “wired” to be a villain, I don’t mean I think she was born like that, but as in, I think her environment trained her to become like that. It’s kind of like how a lot of personality disorders aren’t something a person is born with, but come from being in a shitty environment where certain behaviors will help you survive better, and then even once that situation is over, you can’t get rid of those behaviors because it’s how your brain is wired now. That’s how I read Emma---she came out of this toxic, duplicitous environment of manipulation and abuse where she and her siblings were set against each other, and that’s now her default for how she interacts with the world, even though she was originally just a sweet little nerd who only wanted to be a teacher. The “Origins” one features a generic Shitty Abuser Shaw and isn’t as good as the more drawn-out miniseries, as it focuses more on physical abuse (like her father suddenly slapping her) to get a point across that her family is toxic, rather than the more drawn-out miniseries, which I think works better for explaining Emma’s specific brand of. . .Emma-ness. But the bit where her mother tells her that her father is hardest on her because he likes her most of all, is really important I think, since that reflects her relationship later with the Hellions, which is also shown in this. Because Emma is cruel to the Hellions, even though she loves them, and in fact because she loved them. Her love for them and her agony over their deaths is what drives her to join the X-Men in the first place.  As for which origin story is true. . .I think the miniseries one is probably MOST true, as it’s the only one that Emma herself isn’t telling as a story. But as the friend who helped me assemble this list puts it, “ Think of any origin story of Emma's as "a sort of fairy tale, a parable," where it's the theme that matters, not the precise events or timeline “ 90s EMMA Emma spent most of the 90s teaching Generation X. I don’t remember a lot of stuff for specifically what I’m talking about with her, but here are a couple issues that strike me as significant. Uncanny X-Men (1st series) #311-314: In  Uncanny X-Men (1st series) #281-284, the Hellions were killed and Emma Frost was left in a coma, her body taken care of by the X-Men. This is when she wakes up, takes over Iceman’s body, and goes on a rampage thinking she’s the prisoner of the X-Men. When she finds out what happened to her Hellions, she collapses in despair and turns herself over to the X-Men. This is her turning point. This is when we found out Emma Frost had a soul. That she LOVED the Hellions. That they were not just tools. And there’s this one line in the yellow narrative boxes that really sticks out: “As the Hellfire Club’s White Queen, she spent the better part of her life traversing from one mind to another, violating the very essence of anyone she so chose. Losing herself in the memories of others. Altering, at times, the opinions of those who opposed her. This time is different. This time it is about survival. This time. . .it’s for the children.” The words are echoed when she agrees to join Krakoa's Quiet Council, after Charles and Erik tell her their plan and convince her it might just work. "One more time, then. For the children." Emma’s true love, in my opinion, isn’t Scott. Nor is it Namor. It’s teaching.  Emma becomes the teacher to Generation X, as mentioned, and in Generation X (1st series) #18-19, during the Onslaught crisis, she’s so terrified of losing them like she did the Hellions, that she snapped, took the kids to a safehouse in Canada, and put them under her telepathic control for their own safety. This is an Emma who has learned that abusing her students isn’t the right way, but still doesn’t respect their autonomy or consent even as she’s desperately trying to protect them, and has to learn from Monet (who is. . . .actually not Monet) that this isn’t the right way to do it either. Emma did not grow up with adult models who showed her how to love and care for a child, she has to figure it out herself, and it’s a rocky journey at times, even though she has the best of intentions. I think this is a good issue to show an Emma who is in the process of evolving. She’s getting better, but she still hasn’t got it “right” yet.  CURRENT-ERA EMMA Emma really becomes the Emma we know with Grant Morrison’s New X-Men in the early 2000s. This is where she starts affecting a British accent, calling everyone darling, and the delightfully witty Queen of Mean while also still a devoted teacher with trauma over losing her students. She always was witty and a little mean, but Morrison takes these traits up to 11 and gives Emma the foundation of what a lot of writers would build upon. It’s also when she begins her telepathic affair/seduction of Scott, which is a more than slightly problematic dynamic, as I’ve discussed. Also, this is when she got her now-famous diamond form.  We get a lot of lovely Emma nastiness in this series. New X-Men #128-139 all have lots of great moments for her where she’s just WICKED yet still on the side of the angels, and New X-Men Annual 2001 starts us off.  However, character-wise, I think what really comes out here is Emma going from blaming her past actions on substances (she tells Scott in the New X-Men Annual 2001 that she just probably out of her mind on drink and drugs all those times she was doing bad things) to being forced to face her past and herself for the first time when confronted by Jean & the Phoenix in New X-Men #139. It’s the first time we get a look at what Emma’s family and home life was like, as well as the first time she’s established as having a brother, but more than that is the emotion that gets brought in. This is also when Morrison decided to retcon the Hellfire Club as a strip joint (which I hate and also shows up in Emma’s “Origins” story) but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, Jean makes Emma face all her flaws and pain and nasty, most vulnerable parts of herself.  Emma is left mentally broken...then one page later, physically, shattered by a diamond bullet that we later find out was fired by none other than Esme, the Stepford Cuckoo whom Emma later says reminded her most of herself. There is definitely poetic symbolism there. As my friend put it “This cycle of her students dying and Emma losing it and trying again but never facing the roots of her issues goes on and on until her roots literally kill her, and Jean of all people resurrects her. Jean, who saw right through Emma, saw something there worth saving, and literally and metaphorically put her back together again.” The next place I’d go is Astonishing X-Men, which is the first time Emma and Kitty work together. Kitty HATES Emma at this point, because, as she points out, Emma is the villain in her origin story. And Emma KNOWS this. That’s why she WANTS Kitty there. She knew that Kitty would keep an eye on her, wouldn’t trust her, and that’s what Emma WANTS, because Emma doesn’t trust HERSELF. So this shows that Emma KNOWS her moral compass is a very flawed one, and that she WANTS to be better so consciously that she’s getting someone she knows doesn’t like or trust her to be around because she knows she’ll watch her like a HAWK. This also means Emma is admitting she can fail, and giving some control to someone else.  There’s. . . so much that happens from here. Utopia. Phoenix Five. The Terrigen Mists shit. Secret Empire. I feel like there are probably great Emma readlists out there that include these, but honestly I just kinda zoned out through a lot of it. These are some additional read lists for her I found: https://lornahs.tumblr.com/post/87230882649/where-to-start-reading-emma-frost-lets-start  https://www.reddit.com/r/comicbooks/comments/2bwwok/emma_frost_reading/  It’s definitely a LOT and I wish you the best of luck tackling it! Also, I wouldn’t feel you have to read EVERYTHING, or incorporate everything into your depiction. Pick and choose what you feel works best for your version!

Worst Impressions are the First (ch 7)

Main Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil (Human AU)

Pairings: Romantic LAMP

Word Count: 5036

AO3

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Author’s (longer than usual but it’s for good reason) Note: *The Apocalypse—2020. Zoom in on a plague rat turned writer. She has survived thesis projects, getting a Master’s degree, burnout, writing and illustrating a children’s book, being a slave for the U.S. census bureau, months of overthinking anxiety spirals, and one or two incidents involving an asshole skunk. But now, battle weary yet unwavering in her love of art and love for her loyal readers, this onesie-clad tea slurping book dragon....has finally arisen from the ashes*

I LIVE BITCHES!!!!!!! And I am SO SORRY for taking so long!!! I’ve been hard at work, been editing like a mad woman, and I even have a beta now! The gorgeous and talented @humbletortoise So I  am OFFICIALLY off hiatus!!! *cue confetti canon* 

Also, one of the biggest reasons I’ve taken so long to update is because I’ve spent the past month or so essentially retconning the fuck outta this fic. I realized looking back at earlier chapters in this story that, although I was proud of them at the time and greatly appreciate the positive reactions, they were...not my best work. (shitty first drafts if I’m being honest) That’s because, at the time, I was trying to split my attention between writing this fic and working on grad school stuff, which resulted in my writing for this not being as best of quality as it could have been upon first posting. This story deserves my best, and so do all of you. So now I hope to give you that. 

I encourage you to go back and re-read the previous chapters up till now (trust me, they’re near unrecognizable to the first drafts, but in the best way). Or if you don’t feel like doing that, you can just continue on from here. totally cool. For the sake of convenience and my own sanity, I’ll attach the AO3 Link to this fic from the start. I may also start just posting chapter updates on tumblr but only have the link to the chapter and add my reader tags. Again, for the sake of my sanity because Tumblr is a bastard when it comes to posting fics. (Also PLEASE let me know if there are any tagging issues if anyone’s on my tags list; yet another reason i’m considering just linking my fics in the future)

Anywho, without further ado, at LOOOOOONG last, here is the next chapter!

Chapter 7 - (POV Roman)

When Roman had offered to walk with Logan to class, it was only partly out of an innate sense of chivalry; a side of himself that he rarely got to show on account of being a socially awkward gay disaster. Though mainly, he saw it as a chance to get to know his second soulmate better.

He certainly hadn’t expected two long minutes of civil but silent walking. Well, as silent as a stroll through their school could be with its usual racket buzzing around them. With a vocabulary as big as the continents of Africa and Eurasia combined, you’d think Logan would be more of a conversationalist. Alas. He merely walked in step with Roman. They glanced over at each other every so often, but Logan stayed tight lipped and seemingly impassive; fiddling with his bumblebee hair pin every now and again. Damn. Looked like he was going to have to make the first move.

Roman was bad at this. How did people usually…Oh yeah, common interest. That’s a thing. He wracked his brain for some sort of ice breaker. One that’d make him look cool and calm or, something, in front of Logan. He was a fairly decent student though not quite mathletes level. He could compliment his outfit maybe? Was that too forward? Too shallow? Maybe he could find common ground? That was as good a place to start as any.

“So! So uhh…What kind of music do you like?” Roman asked. Yeah, that’s good. Everybody likes music.

Logan glanced at him. “Can you be more specific?”

Roman’s brow furrowed. “I mean, like, your favorite genre of music to listen to?”

“Classical,” said Logan in a clipped tone.

“That’s cool. I don’t really listen to classical myself.”

Logan only hummed, his face neutral. Roman was really hoping for more than that. A few awkward seconds passed, then Logan spoke up.

“Are you perhaps a fan of the classic Sherlock Holmes novels?” He inquired.

“Um, I haven’t gotten around to the books yet, actually,” Roman said, scratching his earlobe. “I mean, I’ve heard great things about them. And I’m a big fan of the Robert Downey Jr. movies.”

“Ah. I see.” Logan said, giving him the judgiest side eye.

Come on, Roman thought. Give me something to work with. “Oh! What about theater?”

“What a frustratingly vague inquiry.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to get to know my soulmate a little better.” Ay come jode, work with me here, man!

Logan sighed. “While I understand and appreciate your intention, I believe ‘getting to know someone’ as you put it, requires a certain level of specificity. Anything less indicates a somewhat shallow level of sincere interest, and I greatly despise shallow conversation. That said, if you’re inquiring as to whether or not I enjoy theater, no. I don’t understand the concept of professional make believe, though I appreciate it as an art form. I assume you’re a fan?”

Is he seriously implying I’m shallow? Roman groused, pushing his red frames up the bridge of his nose. Ugh, forget it Roman. He’s throwing you a bone here. Take it.

“Obviously,” said Roman, gesturing dramatically. “I mean I’m no actor—Eesh. No. Yikes—but everything about the artform enthralls me. And I like all kinds of genres and eras of plays, from Shakespear to Ruhl, but musicals are by far my favorite, because like, there’s so much you can do with them design wise. I mean just look at how groundbreaking Hamilton was.”

For a second, Logan’s face actually softened, his eyes lighting up. But just as Roman thought they were finally about to make some progress, his stony companion was back to wearing that platinum puss.

“Ah. How… original.”

Roman blinked. “Are you saying my tastes are basic?”

“Well, yes.”

Augh! Okay. Yep. I don’t like him. Patton was going to be so disappointed, and Roman was too. He’d wanted so badly to get along with all his soulmates, but Logan was a snob! Way less intimidating than Virgil and his ilk, but still a jerk. I wonder if soulmarks can make typos or something? Thank the stars they’d already arrived.

Roman and Logan filed in with the rest of the class for seventh period. Somebody had the liberty of opening a window– the AC was still busted in this classroom– so for once there was actually a decent breeze cutting through the usual mucky Florida humidity. Still smelled like it would probably rain later. Good thing Roman had packed an umbrella just in case, Mom’s orders. His hair looked too good today to be wrecked by frizz.

Roman took a seat at his desk, running distracted fingers over the carved letters in the wood while he mulled over his predicament. Just look at him over there, thought Roman as he glared at Logan, not two rows away from him. Sitting with his hands clasped on the desk all smug—of course he’d be near the front—and with such disturbingly good posture. What is he, a robot? Who is he to call my interests basic, the NERVE! And okay, sure, like Hamilton, sometimes I get over excited and shoot off at the mouth. But great Zeus, does that guy show passion for ANYTHING besides academics? Roman blew a raspberry, plopping his head in his hands.

He always thought soulmates were supposed to get along, even as just friends for life. Balancing each other out, bringing out the best in you and forming a deep connection—that was the whole point. He sighed to himself. Cymbals clashed less than he and Logan did.

He was stirred from his brooding by the bell. Apparently Mr. ‘Call-me-Terrence’ Williams had materialized without him noticing. Okay fine, he should probably pay more attention, but he was having a crisis here.

“Afternoon everyone,” Terrence greeted in that measured, upbeat tone of his.  

He draped his navy blue blazer over the back of his desk chair and rolled his shirt sleeves to the elbows. Roman pitied the poor guy;  he had to teach sauna of a classroom all day. He could see the glisten of sweat on his teacher's smooth forehead as he wrote things on the board. Yet he still kept a pleasant attitude towards his students.

“Alright class!” Terrence started, “Today we’re covering the next section on the American Revolution. Specifically, the Battle of Yorktown...”

Roman mentally punched the air. My time has come. He opened his textbook to the right page but didn’t bother looking at it. He already knew most everything about Yorktown. Not just because he’d listened to the Hamilton soundtrack fifteen and a half million times, but also because he’d done actual research on the event and time period that the musical took place; There was always the off chance he’d get to stage crew or, heck, even dramaturg the show. He liked to be prepared.

“So the battle of Yorktown took place in 1781, but a great deal of its success was thanks to the French Allies. Many especially aided in fighting the British Troops surrounding New York. Now who can tell me where the French Soldiers first landed?”

Roman half raised his hand. He was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Logan.” Terrence called.

Roman turned to Logan desk, where his hand was held high and mighty.

“The French Ally ships first landed in Rhode Island, then made their way to Chesapeake Bay,” said Logan, adjusting his glasses. Not even a hint of second guessing in his voice.

“That’s right!”

He almost missed the quick smirk on Logan’s frustratingly pretty face. Look at that smug—thinks he’s so smart...Okay yes, he is smart, but he doesn’t have to be a show off about it. Terrence continued through the passages, calling on a student every now and again to review. Of course, Logan got called on most and he got every answer right. Roman didn’t feel like raising his hand anymore.

“Of course there were many turning points in the revolution, but Hamilton’s return to the field for Yorktown was a key point.” Terrence continued on. “And keep in mind- this was a man who up till now had never been in a position of command before. Not to mention the mental strains he must’ve been under, especially having had to miss the birth of his son Philip, the first of three children he had.”

Wait a sec. “Well, that’s not right.”

Even though he’d muttered, apparently Mr. Terrence still heard him. “Come again, Roman?”

Shoot. “Um, I said,” Stop sounding timid, you know you’re right. “I said that was, um, wrong.”

The whole class turned to him. Oh great, history class has its eyes on me. Roman cleared his throat and tried to look taller.

“What I mean is: Hamilton had eight kids, not three. And on top of that, Phillip was born a few months after they won the Revolution, not during, so Hamilton didn’t miss the birth of his son. I mean sure, it’s a small thing, but the devil’s in the details as they say. Heh.”

Terrence gave the most insultingly bemused look. And Roman definitely heard a few kids snickering behind him. He glanced quickly at the culprits and felt his ears go hot. This is what he got for putting himself in the spotlight.

“Roman, I applaud you for participating in the class discussion,” Their teacher started gently, “but I’m afraid you’re wrong on this one. If you read your textbook close you’d see in the fifth paragraph where it mentions from one of his later letters—“

“Actually Mr. Williams, if I may, Roman is correct.”

Roman saw Logan at his desk, one hand raised while the other adjusted his neck scarf. Was the teacher’s pet actually… backing him up?

“It is a common misconception that Alexander Hamilton only had two children, even more so modernly, what with the musical having only named two of them. However Roman has clearly done his research on the plays historical accuracies, which is more than I can say for some.”

Logan shot a cool but scathing look at their recently snickering classmates and they withered. Roman fought the urge to point and laugh aloud. He did however stick his tongue out real quick. What? He could be shy and petty at the same time.

“My guess,” Logan continued, “is that this textbook edition is also either misprinted or outdated, judging by the publication date in the copyright section.”

Brows furrowed, Terrence looked at the textbook laid open on his desk. He flipped back to the front, before pulling out his cellphone—“I’m the teacher, I’m allowed to do this. You guys aren’t.”—and after what Roman guessed was a quick Google search, their teacher looked up. His eyebrows drawn in a ‘hm, well damn’ expression.

“Looks like you’re right, Roman. And thank you Logan for bringing to my attention about the textbooks. I’ll have to talk to the principal about hopefully getting some updated materials. But we’ll see how that goes,” Terrence, muttered the last part, though Roman was close enough to catch it. Terrence cleared his throat and moved back to the board. “Maybe if we call on assistance from the inside. Much like how the Sons of Liberty sent in Hercules Mulligan to spy on the British...”

“Perhaps if we knew of an immigrant who was unafraid to step in,” Logan said just under his breath.

No one else seemed to notice the reference, but when Roman did, he felt like a mini volcano about to burst rainbow lava. Apparently there was a lot more to his soulmate than first meets the eye; and now that he knew, Roman was determined to see more of it. The rest of class passed quickly and everyone filed out to the halls as the first bell for the last class period of the day rang. Roman made sure to catch up to Logan on the way out and staccato tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Logan?” He said.

When Logan turned, he swore time slowed down for a moment. The brilliant boy’s skirt flared around his waist, and somehow his skin glowed even under the dull, inconsistent school lights. His posture was erect yet natural, he could have been raised among nobility. Amidst the stench and clamor of loud sweaty students, Logan was as poised and striking as the goddess Athena. Oh...

“Yes, Roman?” Logan asked.

Roman gulped. “I uh, just wanted to thank you for backing me up in there.”

“Thanks are unnecessary,” Logan said. “I detest when someone is shamed by other students for speaking up in class, regardless of whether or not they have the correct information.”

“Well regardless, thanks for coming to my aid in the face of academic danger.”

“Dramatic, but my pleas—oof!”

A hurried passerby bumped into Logan from behind, rushing off with a half-assed ‘sorry’. Logan, caught off guard, stumbled right into Roman’s arms. The two looked at each other, cheeks filling with heat. Roman caught a whiff of something faintly floral on Logan, something natural– a lavender and honeysuckle perfume, perhaps. It was heavenly. They were still in the middle of foot traffic though, so he maneuvered them to the side. Which was tricky since Logan was still so close to him and also a good two inches taller with the heels.

“Well,” Roman flashed his pearly whites. “Seems you’ve fallen for me.”

Logan pulled away, but his lips quirked upwards in a teasing smirk. “Oh please, I merely stumbled into you.”

“Ah, but stumbling is the first step towards being swept off your feet.”

“Bold words from an abashedly charming homunculus in such an… eye catching ensemble.”

Did he call me charming!? He composed himself, “Hey, don’t let the sweater vest fool you. I may be short but I’ve got guns.”

“Aaah. But mind over muscle, as they say. Do you find yourself up to the task?”

“Only if it’s you, my brainy blossom.”

Roman’s class was in the other direction, but Logan didn’t need to know that. They walked through the halls, conversing. class was still in the next ten or so minutes, but Roman was having fun. Banter with Logan felt surprisingly easy. Natural like they’d been at it all their lives.

“By the way, was that a ‘Guns n’ Ships’ reference I overheard, pastel poindexter?” Roman asked.

Logan cleared his throat. “It… may have been, yes. I found myself unable to resist toppling the figurative dominos.”

“In other words, you seized the opportunity you saw,” Roman said, matching his own reference to the source’s cadence, which got a chuckle out of Logan.

“Precisely. Under more casual circumstances, I may have even recited Lafayette’s part.”

“You can rap? You can rap Guns n’ Ships? Like, the whole thing, no tongue twists?”

Logan stopped for a moment, turned to Roman. The taller boy cleared his throat, and after a moment wherein he seemed to mentally restrain himself, he simply adjusted his glasses.  “I have an appreciation for poetry.”

Roman blinked rapidly. Holy shit, he’s an even bigger nerd than I am. He definitely needed to see that at some point.

They turned a corner, stopping just outside of the science room. Some students were going in to take their seats, and the teacher was already making notes on the board. Logan pulled an AP Physics book from his backpack, but made no move to leave, much to Roman’s delight.

“So then,” Roman leaned against the eggshell wall, “How come you acted so indifferent earlier and called my tastes basic? Oh, and I think I remember you also implied I was shallow?”

Okay, yeah, he was still kind of salty about that. But then he saw the shamed look on the nerd’s face, and Roman wished he could have taken it back. Logan looked at his shoes then back at him.

“To be candid I was… hesitant to show the full extent of my enthusiasm. In case you thought I’d be—I believe ‘being the most’ is the term— it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caused someone to lose interest in conversing with me due to informational overload. I nearly bored my Aunt Patricia to sleep once talking about a fascinating article on jellyfish. And considering how I blundered our initial meeting—“

“Pfft, ya think?” He mentally slapped himself again when Logan went tight-lipped and turned to go. “No, no, wait. I—I’m sorry. Truly. ...Truth is, I was no gentleman either. I’m not always great at thinking before I speak. It’s why I’m so awkward around people. Takes a while for my true charming nature to shine through.”

“Clearly. Still, you show a level of interpersonal aptitude that I, well, lack.” Logan fiddled with his hair pin again and a stray hair came loose. “Reading people and expressing emotions has never really been—It’s something I struggle with.”

Much as Logan tried to maintain his cool composed posturing, Roman could tell that this was something that really bothered him. He tried so hard to seem put together and confident and serious, but really he was just as awkward and insecure as anyone. Roman smiled softly and stepped closer to Logan, reaching up to tuck the loose ebony strand behind his ear.

“Hey, everyone’s got things about themselves they can work on. Including me,” Roman smiled. “And believe me when I say that I will never judge you for being passionate about something you like. So if you ever want someone to ramble about jellyfish or Sweeney Todd to or—I dunno, calculators or something?—I’m all ears.”

Logan’s cheeks went pink and he gave a hesitant yet sincere smile. “That’s...very kind of you, Roman. And coincidentally, I also greatly enjoy Sweeney Todd. The use of iambic pentameter and alliteration to give a succinct synopsis to the story in just the first sentence alone is pure brilliance.”

“Right!? I mean the man’s a mad genius. I’m dying to design sets for one of his musicals someday. Like last year? I came up with the concept of having the Sweeney Todd sets done in a way that highlights the class differences with the characters.” Roman went into a small three minute ramble regarding the specifics before he cut himself off abruptly. Logan was blinking rapidly, a look of mild shock crossing his feature. Roman nearly started sweating; Had he messed this up again?

“That… that’s ingenious”

Roman’s ears were burning. Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!

“Hey, Logan!” They both startled and turned to an impatient cheerleader with a ginger undercut and they/them pronoun pin shaped like a coffin. “What’re you doing just standing out in the hall, ya dork? Oh, hey Roman.”

“Uh. Hey, October,” Roman said, waving awkwardly to them.

“I told ya, Red, you only get to call me that when we’re working on a show.”

“Wait, October? Red? You two know each other?” Logan asked, brow arching.

“Kind of. They sometimes help out with costumes for the drama club,” said Roman. And they have terrible timing. I mean seriously Tobes, we were having a moment.

“Come on Lo, class is about to start, and you promised to go over my homework with me real quick beforehand. See ya ‘round, Ro.” Toby grabbed Logan’s hand and pulled him into the classroom. “You can fill me in on what you were doing with Red later.”

Logan followed his—apparently—friend into their classroom, but he shot Roman an apologetic look over his shoulder. Roman bounced a bit on the balls of his feet before following halfway into the room. Logan was in his seat with Toby showing him an open notebook. A teacher in a tight grey hair bun was writing on the board. Students at their seats were chatting, and some looked up at the short dork in red who burst in. For once Roman ignored them, his mind set on one last attempt at wooing his green skirted genius while he still had the nerve.

“Hey, Logan,” he said. “I’ve also got some great layout designs for an Into the Woods set. If you’re interested, maybe we can meet up after school and I can show them to you? Maybe we talk a bit more over iced lattes or something?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Prince, seventh period starts in five minutes,” said the teacher. “Unless you’ve suddenly transferred to my class, I suggest you stop distracting my favorite student and get going.”

“I’ll be gone in just a second,” he said. “Well?”

Logan smoothed the silky fabric of his pink scarf and said, “That sounds optimal, Roman. I’ll meet with you. By the first floor water fountain perhaps?”

Roman grinned. “I shall be counting the minutes.”

“Mr. Prince,” said the teacher with a warning glare.

Roman blew a kiss at Logan and then ducked out of the doorway. Was he embarrassed of himself? Oh definitely. Did he regret it? Absolutely not. He felt ten inches tall.

Now to complete the quest of making it to class in time. He slid off a shoulder strap to unzip his classic Mickey backpack, getting out the notebook and the relevant homework. He found them amidst the mess of spiral notebooks, granola bar wrappers, two textbooks and rainbow sticky notes. But something was missing from his folder.

“Where are those– it should be here.” He could’ve sworn he had his stapled the blocking notes in his folder. No, wait, the last place he saw them was— “Ah shoot! I left them in the tech closet again.”

Under normal circumstances, Roman would’ve grabbed them after school, but the auditorium was locked on weekends. He’d have to wait till Monday to get them and that just wouldn't do! he wanted to show Logan his notes today! I’ll bet David Korins never has these kinds of problems. Okay, okay. Still got four minutes. He could rush to the auditorium, grab the notes, and then head straight to class. I should have enough time, right? Right. Besides it was only Spanish Class, he was already pretty fluent after all those summers visiting his grandparent in Nicaragua. He spent most of class time dreaming up blocking notes anyway.

Despite not being totally convinced by his own argument, Roman immediately turned on his heel and started running in the opposite direction. After a teacher told him no running in the halls, Roman power walked through the halls with a skip in his step and a song in his heart, feeling absolutely gay in both senses of the word. Logan had actually called his idea ingenious! And the way those sharp eyes softened just for him- he would squeal if not for the fact that it would draw too many eyes to him. The halls were still filled with a few stragglers rushing to the last class of the day, and he was already trying not to get caught being late for class.

Now he knew how Maria felt in West Side Story. Y’know, before Act 2. Oh sure, they’d gotten off to a shaky start, but as the Bard’s adage on the course of true love said; and Roman felt it in his gut that this was certainly the start of true love. Not just with brilliant Logan but also with soulful Patton as well. He didn’t know how an awkward geek like him ever got so lucky in the soulmate department…Then again, there was still the matter of Virgil. So maybe not so lucky.

Roman touched his arm, remembered flustered yet flattering purple words. I know they both said Virgil is secretly sweet and I can sympathize with the terrors of closet town, but COME ON! Virgil? Really? That gloomy gladiator? There had to be a mistake in that. After all, Patton liked to see the good in everyone. Logan was much more of a skeptic, but he does seem to have a blind spot with sarcasm. Maybe Virgil was messing with them somehow. Even if he’s not a jerk jock, the guy’s still kind of a creepazoid; with his dark eyes and cheeta-esq gait and those probably huge muscles hidden under that bulky jacket and big hands...

His gay disaster train of thought came to a merciful halt as he reached the auditorium. Roman pushed open the doors, took a pause to breathe in the quiet comfort of this chapel of the arts. Okay yeah, chapel was maybe a little kind for the school’s auditorium which doubled as the drama Club’s rehearsal space/prop closet backstage/Mx Joan’s unofficial office because the school didn’t fund the arts programs enough. Even so this space was Roman’s sanctuary. The place where he could help create magic from the shadows, bring stories of those gone and living to life. Here, Roman found something of a community with his fellow backstagers, glee club losers, and budding thespians (the nice ones). So he loved every squeaky stage plank, every duck taped seat cushion and every speck of dust that floated in the spot lit air like fairies.

Mx. Joan wasn’t around for once, thankfully. Probably in the teacher’s lounge or rendezvousing with the school nurse or something. They were pretty chill and Roman knew he was their favorite student, but the choir director/drama club moderator/music teacher (this school really needs to fix its funding habits) wouldn’t have been too keen on Roman being deliberately late for class.

Roman walked down the aisle and to the side room by the stage. It was originally a janitor’s closet, but their club moderator transformed it into a ‘Crew Only’ Storage Unit… Okay it was still a closet, but with less bleach and more coils. This was where they kept important equipment for semester shows, like the lighting and sound boards, along with other supplies. Roman made a quick mental note to get more gaffer tape later, seeing their supply was low.

He looked through the small pile of scribbled and highlighted sheets with the lighting cues for the spring show. I’ve really gotta get a binder for these…Ah-Ha! Here you are! Roman pulled out the stapled sheets titled ‘Into the Woods Dream Set’ and carefully shoved them into his bag. Perfect timing too. He might just be able to make it to class after—

RIIIIIIIIIIING

“GAH!”

What the heck? He could’ve sworn he was alone in there, but that yelp just now said otherwise. Up close, Roman saw that the curtains were rustling, accompanied by sounds of heavy breathing and moaning, yet not a footstep to be seen or heard.

Holy SHIT, this place IS haunted! I KNEW that backdrop fiasco last semester wasn’t caused by cheap slit plywood. My supplies are the best quality allowance money can buy. Great Macbeth’s bloody knife, I TOLD Kai we should've sprung for a ghost light! Remus always teased him for being superstitious but look who’s laughing now.

He dashed back into the crew closet and grabbed the heavy push broom leaning in the corner. Roman Prince was NOT about to be caught unawares and possessed by the ghost of a disgruntled student without a fight. He would defend his domain of imagination!

Roman slowly climbed the stage steps, wielding his broom like a bow staff, turned the curtain corner where the noises were coming from and was about to release a war cry on the—

“Virgil?”

Roman nearly dropped his weapon at the sight of Virgil Alighieri—star athlete, object of his fears and supposed soulmate—curled in on himself trembling and crying.

His jacket was pulled over his head like a hood, yet Roman could see the tear stained face peeking out from underneath. Virgil’s eyes were squeezed tight, making the dark circles he’d never noticed before more prominent. There was no denying the athlete had muscle but he was more lithe—thin enough for Roman to wonder if the guy ate enough. Virgil’s trembling could rival a chihuahua, shaky hands clutching his knees, and he was clearly in the midst of a bad panic attack.

Roman had built Virgil up in his mind as being like some odd combination of Hades and Ares. The strong silent wolf within his pack of jocks, a surging thunderstorm just waiting for the right nerd to come along and piss him off enough to strike down like the bolt of Zeus.

Someone to be afraid of.

But now? Seeing him in this state, all alone and whimpering like a wounded animal...it broke Roman’s heart.

He set the broom down gently and carefully crouched down in front of Virgil. “Virgil,” he said softly. “Virgil, can you hear me?”

Virgil let out a breathy sob but otherwise didn’t seem to register him. Just how long had he been sitting here like this?

Roman was at a loss for what to do. Sure he knew plenty of people with anxiety but never saw someone having an actual panic attack before. He did know that if he didn’t help the other calm down soon, Virgil was liable to pass out. He’d never wanted to hug someone so badly in his life. Roman tentatively reached out a hand but stopped. What if touching him makes it worse? What if I startle him so badly he actually has a heart attack!? Maybe I should get the nurse. But I can’t just leave him like this.

He caught sight of the colorful soulmarks written on Virgil’s arm. Saw his own harsh thoughts: ’Dios mio, he’s staring right at me—like he wants to punch my face!’ 

Roman took his shame and forged it into steel. I won’t abandon you...my soulmate.

Virgirl’s let out a hiccuped cry, and this gave Roman an idea. Something from back when he was a child. It was probably stupid and a long stretch, but it was all he could think of. He readjusted himself so that he was now sitting right next to Virgil, making sure not to startle him. Roman cleared his throat, then as softly as he could, he began to sing.

“Come stop your crying, it’ll be alright.

Just take my hand, hold it tight.”

Roman one and carefully gentled his hand over Virgil’s. After a moment, he felt a light squeeze, and that encouraged him to keep going.

“I will protect you from all around you.

I will be here, don’t you cry…”

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SnK Episode 68 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 146 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

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RATE THE EPISODE 140 Responses

The anime continues its positive streak with just over 90% of respondents rating the episode a 4 or 5. MAPPA appears to be blowing this season out of the water for most of us!

Noice

Good!

I liked it

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 144 Responses

We got a pretty mixed pie chart this week. To be expected, given how many moments were in this episode. At a tie with the largest pieces of the pie were Hange’s eccentric attempt to greet the Marleyans and Eren’s gunshot figuratively hitting Sasha. Behind that two more options tied in each with 10.4% of the vote - EMA’s conversation at the shooting range and Sasha appreciating Nicolo’s cooking. This is followed closely by Eren’s mirror scene with 9.7% of the vote. Onyankopon explaining why he looks different when Sasha asks him about it took a solid 9% of the vote.

WHAT WAS THE MOST EMOTIONAL PART OF THE VISIT TO SASHA’S GRAVE? 144 Responses

This was almost too close to call, but Mikasa sitting alone managed to edge out just slightly over Connie’s “I’ve lost half of me” moment at Sasha’s grave. Trailing behind the two were Nicolo’s grief and the agreement between Papa Braus agreeing to a free meal from Nicolo.

AFTER SEVERAL TENSE AND ACTION PACKED EPISODES, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE TRANSITION TO SOMETHING MORE CALM? 138 Responses

The larger chunk of respondents are feeling relieved to get a break from the action for a few episodes. 21.7% prefer the action but don’t mind a break here and there, while 21% state that they enjoy the exposition more than the action anyway, so they are content. A small handful don’t care either way. 

We needed this for another build-up to more action

I like the action but it’s important to move the story along 

These just feel mandatory fillers to me.

I miss the warriors

I feel fine with it. I thought that was going to be some happy-go-me episode, but gladly it still had a serious tones.

This episode felt like a very welcome respite after the absolute shitshow that was spoilers week and....whatever the fuck chapter 137 was. 

Nice breather of sorts, I always like seeing characters from action-heavy series in their downtime.

WOULD YOU RATHER GET A SURPRISE GREETING FROM EREN & HANGE, OR ARMIN & LEVI? 141 Responses

The vast majority of respondents would prefer the slightly less lethal greeting given by Hange and Eren at the beginning of the episode. We’re not sure if the other 29.1% are masochists or just really love Levi and/or Armin that much more. Or perhaps they’re intrigued by the pig piss from the filthy island devils.

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU TO BE BACK ON PARADIS? 139 Responses

Overall, fans are happy to be back in familiar territory and put into the perspective of the Survey Corps again. Let’s get ready to rumble!

MAPPA HAS SPRINKLED IN ANIME-ONLY ADDITIONS THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE. AS A WHOLE, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM? 139 Responses

Though subtle, MAPPA did include some anime filler (such as Eren’s, erm, mouth breathing). 51.1% enjoyed the noticeable additions, while 37.4% are completely confused by the question and didn’t realize there were any. A handful generally don’t prefer additions but enjoyed what little ones we had this episode. A small sliver didn’t care for them.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SCENES FROM CHAPTER 107 THAT WERE PEPPERED IN BETWEEN THE MOMENTS FROM CHAPTER 106? 139 Responses

MAPPA is shuffling things around to pick up the pacing of this arc, and 48.2% of respondents are feeling very positively about it. 38.8% also feel that both the order of events in the original manga and the anime work out just fine regardless. A couple of smaller groups either felt that things were a bit off from the manga, or didn’t really care either way. 

I think it's great because it allows an episode to start and end on the same chapter if mappa ever wanted it, allowing the right twists or cliffhangers to be in the right episodes, all WITHOUT having to slow down, which I wholly appreciate.

I'm fine with the changes. Mappa is doing good job.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE OF GABI BITING HER NAIL AND ANGRILY SAYING EREN’S NAME IN HER JAIL CELL? 142 Responses

Nearly half of voters feel that both MAPPA’s take and Isayama’s original take work just fine for Gabi’s character. 28.9% prefer the anime’s take on Gabi’s reaction to all that happened, while 14.8% feel that her more defeated posture in the manga makes more sense for her character. 

I'm a mix of both? Her defeated posture implies that she's not happy with the way things worked out with them in jail and Zeke betraying them. On the other hand, her angry face is realistic to the scene too because it implies she really blames Eren for their current predicament.

She looks like some female version of young, angry Tarzan. This time Mappa should have kept the original postures, because the defeated Gabi feels to be more realistic, than the crazy anime one. 

I think they both work but the anime's take might be the anime team beating us over the head that she's just like Eren when he was young.

Makes it clear to the anime-onlies that she really is psychotic

Gabi sucks

HOW WELL DO YOU THINK MAPPA NAILED THE TRANSITION OF EREN SHOOTING THE GUN, TO SASHA TAKING THE HIT? 141 Responses

The response to MAPPA’s take on Eren’s shot inadvertently hitting Sasha was overwhelmingly positive, with only a few people saying that they could have done better with it. 

Eren shot linked to Sasha's death was awesome. Mappa is nailing it!

THE PART WHERE JEAN, SASHA AND CONNIE ARE TRYING TO GUESS WHAT A PORT IS WAS CUT OUT, WITH ARMIN’S NARRATION INSTEAD CUTTING INTO THE SCENE. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT? 140 Responses

Exactly 50% felt that while having that JSC characterization would have been very much welcome, they’re okay with that small detail missing from the manga (granted, it was at least acknowledged by one panel being animated). 25.7% have a more nonchalant response, stating that if it helps with the pacing, they’re fine with small cuts like this. 10.7% are just let down by JSC’s lack of characterization in the anime overall and didn’t appreciate even more being taken from their characterization in this episode. 

I was more so interested in our Paradis Peeps talking about newly discovered technology but I’m happy with what we got.

Not dissappointed since I understand you can't show everything but I love them so sad

Why was it animated then?! I’m so confused

Normally I don't like it when they cut corners like this, but I wasn't fond of that scene in the first place so it's okay.

If by "anime" you mean the entirety of it including the past 3 seasons, then option 3. I'm always going to be salty about how much they took out or changed for these three during the uprising arc. So far mappa has done okay with them, I guess. 

Would have been a funny JSC moment, but it was really absolutely pointless. In manga format it works as just background words on a panel. Animating it takes seconds of an episode that could be used elsewhere. So I'm fine with it being cut out.

SOME HAVE COMPLAINED THAT THE ENDING SCENE OF EREN REPEATING HIS MANTRA INTO THE MIRROR LACKED THE IMPACT IT HAD IN THE MANGA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 138 Responses

43.5% were receptive of the anime only shots, but favor the way the scene was portrayed in the manga more. 34.1% felt that both versions were done well, with only 9.4% feeling that the impact was largely the same (if not better). Based on the write-ins, the main complaint seems to be the lighting/color scheme of the scene not quite meeting expectations, or that MAPPA made Eren’s back look weird. 

theyll make up for it when eren screeches at hange next ep

Impact was there, art just felt a bit wonky and toned down the scene overall. 9/11

This goes into my criticism of the color palette and shading style mappa uses, which is far more subdued. The contrast is lowered and the scene is very dark, and there is little rim lighting, so while the actual lineart has far more detail, the detail in the lighting is reduced. Damn I really am writing a wall text aren't I? I prefer Wit Studio's art style a lot but Mappa has honestly been doing great so I couldn't care less, manbun Eren is hot.

I prefer the manga version. I think the anime version have weirds shadows in eren's back. Plus the mirror don't have the same energy, less impactful

Cool scene in the anime, an unforgettable blow to the brains in the manga

Idk

Most of the time seeing things for the first time is what's really impactful. Feel this way towards Armin's transformation in the boat as well. It was definitely less impactful than when you first read it in the manga.

I understand the fandom because this moment was very popular when the chapter was out. I think that in the anime Eren lacks the anger he had in the manga. His voice was too calm while repeating his mantra. .

WHY DOES HIS BACK LOOK LIKE THAT

I didn't care for it in the anime, it was really underwhelming. 

I think most people are annoyed about the lighting than the impact. It’s a bit too dim and the lamp hides Eren’s new hair.

Didn't like the anime version at all

The animation wasn't good and they totally fucked his hair, face, and body up. Although the added shots were definitely welcome.

Eren could've been sexier/animated better, I hope they do better next ep 😭

WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN. HOW WILL THE ANIME DEAL WITH MIKASA’S HIZURU TATTOO/SYMBOL? 135 Responses

With Mikasa meeting Kiyomi presumably being inevitable in episode 69, we wondered if any opinions had changed on this. 34.1% feel hopeful that the tattoo will be retconned into the anime and that we will see this scene faithful to the manga. 28.9% think that Mikasa will happen to have some kind of embroidery on hand already. 25.9% don’t want to make a call either way, and a small handful think Mikasa’s going to just pull out an embroidery kit and go with it, lol.

The embroidery will be on the inside of her bandage.

Japanese are very taboo about tattoos because of the Yazuka... it will 100% be the embroidery.

I don't know but I hope it gets retconned. Never liked the embroidery thing.

It won't be included

Let’s just... ignore it..

I really really hope MAPPA retcons Mikasa's tattoo next episode. This will be the one retcon I will absolutely celebrate. Plus, it's not really a retcon if they're just amending Wit's changes.

WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN, AGAIN. WITH THE PACING CURRENTLY UTILIZED BY MAPPA, WHERE WILL EPISODE 16 END? 137 Responses

Uncertainty continues to loom over exactly how far MAPPA will get into this (first half of the?) season. Nearly 40% don’t want to make predictions one way or another, while 23.4% feel that it won’t make it quite to chapter 122. The rest believe it will make it to chapter 122, with 17.5% feeling there will only be minor cuts, if any, and the remaining 13.1% feeling that there will be major cuts to make the feat to chapter 122. 

116 (?) when the allied force attack paradis

122 with the amount of cuts being somewhere in between. They can cut a lot of the Gabi and Falco plotline and still have the story remain intact.

See, I'm not sure buy I'm also worried and curious about it all. It brings up the question of will the story continue in a possible second half of the season? With the manga ending very soon now, it makes sense to have the story wrap up in its anime medium as well. Fees like there's some kind of uncertainty surrounding this, it's unnerving tbh. 

119 with Eren's head being blown off.

gabi no scoping eren, ending creds is eren entering paths and we see ymir standing behind him, s4p2 starts w the ymir backstory

121

No idea and I don't think about it. I just enjoy the show. 

Your guess is as good as mine, I'm still fearing major cuts.

119

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICOLO’S PORTRAYAL? 138 Responses

With Nicolo now formally introduced in the anime, we were curious how you felt about his portrayal. Overall the reaction was positive, with 48.6% agreeing that he’s a “cutie pie chef”, and another 45.7% feeling that his design and seiyuu are absolutely great! A small handful were less happy with the voice, but happy with the design, and a sliver went in the opposite direction, preferring voice over animation.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ADDED DETAIL OF THE FLOWER BOQUETS AND THEIR SYMBOLISM ON SASHA’S GRAVE? 140 Responses

Respondents vastly appreciated the flower symbolism from MAPPA with 82.9% of the pie. 12.9% aren’t really sure what symbolism there even was, and a small amount either don’t care or felt the effort could have been spent on something other than flowers for Sasha.

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 143 Responses

This pie chart wound up being almost eerily even. 42.7% are most looking forward to the 104th discussing Eren (hopeful for the train flashback?). 39.9% instead are looking more forward to Hange and Eren’s tense conversation at his jail cell. The remaining three preview moments were pretty evenly split as well.

DO YOU THINK WE’LL GET BLUSHING!104TH NEXT EPISODE? 130 Responses

71.5% feel that there is a chance we will get the train flashback of the 104th in this episode, but don’t want to say for absolutely certain. 18.5% feel that it is a guarantee based on what we saw in the preview. 10% feel it is instead guaranteed that we will NOT get the scene in 69.

WE WILL LIKELY SEE PREGNANT HISTORIA NEXT EPISODE. THOUGHTS? 140 Responses

The plotline that continues to be a frustrating mystery in the manga - Historia’s pregnancy. 34.3% aren’t particularly looking forward to seeing her in the rocking chair and aren’t very stoked about having to relive this plotline all over again. 33.6% mainly just care about seeing how the anime only fans react to the scene. 17.9% just miss Historia altogether and will take any scraps they can get. And a small handful, at 9.3%, are actually looking forward to seeing anime!Historia with a baby bump. 

Don't really care about historia

It's in MAPPA's hands now. I just hope they can add a little more of her screentime somehow.

I hope so. I want to see the design of her adult self. 

I honestly wouldn't mind if Historia's entire arc, which consists of equal parts pregnancy, irrelevance and uselessness, is just completely cut in the anime lol

not interest

I'm not interested 

I've hated this fucking plot line with all my being and what it's done to Historia since the leaks for this chapter were revealed years ago. So I'm not looking forward to anime-only people jumping in with their hot takes too. 🤮🤮

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

mikasa was shown in sasha's grave in the morning/afternoon and then she was shown again at dusk. SHE SPENT THE WHOLE DAY THERE. and annie... what a queen. and hisu's few scenes? so pretty.

Really glad the pacing was well done

nicosasha ship just flew in and took the spotlight

fantastic!! maybe it's just because this isn't my first time going through this arc anymore, but i feel like the anime feels chronologically less confusing than the manga—I remember being very confused my first time reading these chapters.

The lack of score by Hiroyuki Sawamo is negatively impacting my relationship with the anime. The depth of the emotion that could have been evoked was not present. I also did not get the sense that Nicolo and Sasha were in love, which was a major disappoinment. There were other aspects that weren't so bad, though; specifically, Levi's portrayal and Onyankopon's philosophy.

It felt a bit all over the place, but just seeing things from the manga being animated, I ain’t even mad.

I think that the scene between Sasha and Nicolo was made better in the anime. Isayama has problems with writing romantic moments, so in the manga the whole moment looked like it was taken from some light romance. Mappa made this scene more serene. I liked it. 

I think MAPPA is doing so great tbh! I just need them to hurry up and explain if there will be a part two to this final season or what?! I need to know if we get more anime or they'll diverge into movies or.... just tell us! Lol! 

How DAREEEE they not give Levi his black steed!!!! .....Although knowing what happens ummm yeah maybe his pony gets to live another day this way lol

Here comes the train wreck, choo choo!

I'm really sad I didn't get to hear Sasha call Jean a perv. I was really looking forward to that. LOL I love them. When EMA were at the shooting range, it looked too much like Mikasa wasn't wearing any pants. 

VERY solid. Not the biggest fan of the War for Paradis arc but I'm here for the ride.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 128 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

Bottom Five Star Trek DS9 Episodes

by Ames

We’ve taken our last trip through the wormhole and said goodbye to all the weirdos who live in there and occasionally fail to understand baseball (boy, have we been there, wormhole aliens!). While we’re sad to leave the station for good, there are definitely some elements from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine that we won’t miss.

We hosts of A Star to Steer Her By have wrapped up the whole series and can attest to having compiled the worst episodes between both the Alpha and Gamma Quadrants. You can listen to our DS9 finale here (series discussion starts at 1:58:12 after the season chatter) with some extra commentary by guest star Liz, exclusive to the podcast episode. Spin the Dabo Wheel and see if we’ve landed on the same bottom five episodes you did by reading on below.

[images © CBS/Paramount]

“Field of Fire”: Jake Another Trill episode, another full retcon of Trill culture, how symbionts work, and the Dax symbiont’s personalities in particular. This convoluted episode manages to also drag Vulcans down with it in this messy Silence of the Lambs gone stupid.

“His Way”: Ames So I timed out the musical numbers in this trainwreck of an episode. There are over 10 minutes of song, which is simultaneously more and less than expected somehow. Couple that with all the toxic masculinity and general grossness, and you’ll skip ahead to singing “Here’s to the Losers” too.

“Extreme Measures”: Caitlin Not to get ahead of ourselves here, but while we didn’t like “Distant Voices” as you’ll see (spoilers!), we did that episode already. So why are we doing something that bad again? Furthermore! Was it Sloan or Julian who got  more character-assassinated in this episode, cuz it’s pretty close?

“Meridian”: Caitlin Boys boys boys! It took us a long time to come to like Jadzia because of the many episodes in which she is mainly seen through the eyes of men, and this one takes the cake. The leads didn’t have any chemistry with each other, so all there is to say about this whole idea is “Briga-don’t.”

“Crossfire”: Caitlin Speaking of relationships we weren’t into from the very start: Shakaar and Kira. It all starts in “Crossfire” when he gets reduced from powerful leader of Bajor to hormonal adolescent who doesn’t know how to handle himself around his crush and we lose basically all respect for the guy.

“Let He Who Is Without Sin”: Jake Want more misguided relationship drama? Worf decides that instead of letting Jadzia enjoy her own agency in their relationship, he’d rather be an ecoterrorist for their vacation. My, how the mighty Klingon has fallen.

“Tears of the Prophets”: Chris The treatment of women on the show over the years has frequently been appalling, but none is worse than that of the actresses themselves, as we can see in how the producers basically chased Terry Farrell away. And this episode hurts us in particular in how they do the same to her character. RIP Jadzia.

“If Wishes Were Horses”: Ames Now we get to the really asinine stuff. Let’s start off with an episode so ridiculous and absurd that it changes its mind halfway through regarding what the hell is happening and no one notices because it’s entirely unfollowable to begin with!

“Rivals”: Chris, Jake More asinine stuff. This time with a perplexing randomness device that’s only random in the sense that it’d have to be through utter chance for someone to actually enjoy this chaotic mess of an episode. We’ve rolled the dice and the results are clear: this one loses.

“Fascination”: Ames, Chris You’d think Gene was still alive for us to see this lust-filled nonsense that prioritizes sexiness over, say, having any idea what it’s actually doing. Come on, we know Lwaxana is a character capable of so much more than this, but she had to be reduced to a horny old cougar?

“Distant Voices”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake You don’t see us all agree on much, so clearly this episode is a bunch of gibbering trash. Not only is the “everyone on the show represents a facet of something-or-other so we don’t have to hire more actors” device even older than Bashir, but so are the surreal coma dream and the aimless brain quest.

“Profit and Lace”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake The worst of the absolute worst (and what might be the worst of all of Star Trek) comes in this deplorable, misogynistic, offensive pile of pre-replicated food. What’s even more insulting is that the team thought a bunch of rape jokes and punching down at women would be comic gold. Moogie deserved better.

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See also: our Top Five Star Trek DS9 Episodes list! We promise they’re way better! Like lightyears better.

Vic has sung his last encore (finally!) and that’s a wrap for Deep Space Nine, but there’s plenty more Star Trek to watch through. Make sure you keep your eyes here, listen to new episodes every Thursday on SoundCloud, follow A Star to Steer Her By on Facebook and Twitter, and don’t forget to tip your Dabo Girl!

Star Wars the Clone Wars (2008) Thoughts and Review

With season 7 of the clone wars fast approaching I decided to give the series a second shot. The first time I started watching star wars the clone wars I dropped it. I am so glad I gave it a second chance. I watched it chronologically this time around which made a significant difference in the experience. The first time I watched it the show felt incredibly disjointed with characters who had died much earlier suddenly getting introduction episodes and the timeline was all over the place with closing episodes for arcs happening before opening ones. I couldn’t understand why so many people liked this show that was so all over the place, but now that it’s been a few years and there are many lists on how to watch it chronologically returning for the show seemed like a must. This is a truly great cartoon with amazing writing, animation, and characters. It’s a deeply tragic tale where the heroes don’t win every battle. You know the outcome and yet you can’t help but be enthralled by everything that happens. The show becomes steeped in grey the longer it moves along and decidedly doesn’t deal with the absolutes of black and white, light and dark. This show managed to blow me away even though I came in having heard all the praises that were thrown its way. I highly recommend that anyone who hasn’t watched this show go out and start right now.

Animation:

There was a rather large jump in animation quality in season 4. That’s not to say the animation before wasn’t impressive just that it became even better. The character animation is where it was most noticeable. I wasn’t a big fan of Count Dooku or Chancellor Palpatine’s character models at the start, but after the animation bump they were much better. From the clothes, to the hair, to the facial expressions. The character models for everyone were much better. The hair moved now! All jokes aside the clone wars seems to have an endless well of finances for the animation. There were so many different planets and character models utilized throughout the show’s run that there’s no other way they could pull it off. (It was rather famously financed by George Lucas) Considering the last season was released in 2013 I can easily say the animation still looks better than a lot of shows today. I had heard that the animation was good, but I wasn’t quite prepared for how good.

Standout Arcs:

Landing at point rain - This is the episode that really hooked me and made me think this show was something special. There were losses and the plan didn’t go the way our characters wanted. Obi Wan was struck out of the sky and put out of commission because of his injuries. The large scale battles and 3 separate storylines following the 3 generals were all juggles very well and, while not the morally nuanced storytelling that the Clone Wars became known for, it was still a well made war episode that showed the grueling nature of it and what was the start of what was to come. 

Padawan Lost arc - This arc made me realize how much I loved Ahsoka. Not saying I didn’t like her before just that I hadn’t realized how much I had grown to love her character. These episodes did a good job of showing Ahsoka’s growth and how capable she was without her lightsaber, master, or army. The intercutting of the discovery of the other taken padawans that were never searched for with the council telling Anakin not to look for Ahsoka, but to trust in the force shows the disconnect that the Jedi council was beginning to have even with its own order. It shows that their rules against connection was, in a way, pushing them away from the light. This was the beginnings of showing how the order has lost its way. I found myself worrying over Ahsoka and her well being. I wanted her to succeed and come out the other side with the other “prey”. Which was an excellent juxtaposition to the council. Ahsoka lets her attachments help her protect the other prisoners and they get to escape because they act as a unit disproving the council’s decisions on connections. It’s fascinating that an arc that seemed at first to be disconnected to the main theme of the series became intertwined with it. I really like how the clone wars can turn your expectations on its head.

The Umbara Arc - What can I say about this arc that hasn’t already been said. Wow, just wow. This arc is incredible and showcases everything that makes the clone wars great. The animation in this four episode arc is phenomenal and some of the best 3D animation I’ve seen put on TV. The clone wars excels at showing large scale fights and this is no different. It was a marvel to look at. There were so many dark themes that were within this arc. The clones having to come to grips with the corruption of their leader and their own ability to choose despite how horrible the choices they are left with are. The revelation that they were shooting on their own troops in “Carnage on Krell” was harrowing and my shock mirrored that of the clone troopers themselves. The betrayal and hurt that all the troopers were feeling was clear as day and the realization at what they had to do to Krell, a leader they were programmed to trust, not only foreshadowed order 66 but also showed that casualties of war aren’t just people but also beliefs and worldview. The growth that the clones, especially Rex and Fives, underwent was amazing. These two became some of my favorite star wars characters with this arc. Fives with his staunch beliefs that he and all clones should stick to what they believe to be right and Rex with his realization that his loyalty and programming were misplaced, that everything that he believed and fought for may have been a lie and corrupt all along. We’ve seen the senate treating the clones like objects and products, but to see the reality of it on the battlefield was a different experience entirely. When they took Umbara it didn’t feel like a victory for the clones or to me. It felt hollow and saddening. We know how this all ends and having the clones humanized in such a way makes everything that happens later all the more hard hitting. This arc was truly great and it alone makes watching the clone wars worth it.

I also really like how it was a reversal of order 66 with the jedi general betraying his clones. It showed that clones banding together can take down even a prepared jedi, alibi an overconfident one. The conflicting emotions that the clones go through when disobeying their orders opens nuance to order 66 and their possible refusal to carry it out. The struggle of going against their programming is at the focus of this arc. The eventual retcon of this struggle by having the control chips in their brain is simultaneously something I don’t like and something I think makes sense. I don’t like it because it removes the implications and possibility to disobey the order on the clone’s end, but it also would be poor planning on Palpatine’s part to let everything hinge on the clones obeying their programming and not question it. The chips also lead to some of my favorite episodes with fives discovering order 66. This doesn’t effect my love of this arc I just wanted to voice my opinion on this point.

Darth Maul Ascendant arc and the Lawless - This arc was phenomenal. I don’t know what to say. I loved just about everything about this arc. From Darth Maul and his revenge against Obi Wan to the fall of Mandalore by its own hands. This arc was beautifully tragic. Nothing went right in this arc for anyone. Obi Wan couldn’t save Satine, Bo Katan couldn’t save Mandalore, Maul couldn’t save his brother or himself. The most popular shot from the episode “The Lawless”:

Perfectly encapsulates how futile and (once again) tragic this episode is. Obi Wan is just a silhouette against the backdrop of explosions and fighting. He’s so insignificant and small. He can’t win. He can’t save Mandalore. No matter how hard he tried. He’s just one person in the middle of this mandalorian civil war. This entire arc is filled with shots and scenes that are like this one, beautiful to look at and yet portraying immense tragedy. And I think this juxtaposition was intentional. You can’t take your eyes away despite all the horrible things happening before you. I think these episodes were some of the best animated content I have ever consumed. There are quite a few clone wars arcs that make me feel this way, but I think this is my favorite or at the very least contains my favorite episode in “The Lawless”. It is easily something I will never forget.

Ahsoka on Trial - This arc is masterful in how it juxtaposes Ahsoka and Anakin’s journey’s. Both have to deal with their disillusionment with the jedi order and the perceived lack of trust the order places in them. With the ending shot (shown below) of Anakin and Ahsoka foreshadowing through lighting the path their choices will bring them down. Ahsoka has a lit up sky behind her while Anakin has the looming, dark jedi temple behind him. Ahsoka continues down the stairs into the light having turned her back on the growing darkness within the jedi order and tentatively towards a path we cannot see but has at least some brightness and hope. While Anakin is stuck going back to an order he doesn’t have faith in feeling like he has failed his task in protecting Ahsoka. This arc is what the show felt like it was culminating towards with Ahsoka. We knew something was going to happen that would take her out of Anakin’s life before the events of Revenge of the Sith, but the way this played out was better than I could have imagined. I couldn’t help getting emotional over Anakin and Ahsoka parting ways and knowing how Anakin’s story plays out just added to my sadness over it all. There is also a very interesting parallel between Ahsoka and Ventress. They are both force wielders that were betrayed by the order that they followed and seeing their interactions after all this time was fascinating. I also couldn’t truly argue with Barriss when she voiced her reason for attacking the jedi temple. We’ve seen through all our main characters the shortcomings of the jedi and the corruption within the senate that the jedi work with. What Anakin says in Revenge of the Sith “From my point of view the jedi are evil” suddenly makes so much more sense after watching this series and especially this arc. This managed to add so much to the prequel trilogy, at least in my opinion.

Fives and Order 66 - I can’t believe the show decided to show someone actually discovering the truth behind order 66. I was rooting for fives throughout this entire arc and was shocked and sad to see he died so close to getting out the truth (despite knowing that he wouldn’t succeed). I had grown very attached to fives with all the episodes he was a part of and liked how his sense of duty was to doing what was right and saving as many lives as he could showing how despite the clones being programmed they all had different interpretations of their programming. This arc showed how capable the chancellor was at covering his tracks. He had a hand in every event that transpired during this series and yet has everyone fooled in one way or another. No one really knows the truth about him. After the episode “Orders” I had to pause the show, sit back, and let what had just happened sink in (like with many other episodes). How could this show tell storylines that I knew were doomed to end only one way and yet still completely emotionally invest me? And I think that question is just a testament to how good this series really is and how good this arc is. 

I will say that easily the weakest episodes to me were the ones focusing on the droids such as R2D2 and C3PO. I like them as support characters, but their spotlight episodes were a slog to get through and I probably won’t rewatch any of them. The good news is that these are far and few between, but there is an arc with them in season 5 that I’m not too fond of especially since the rest of season 5 was phenomenal. There were also a few senate based episodes I struggled through, but most of them I was interested by because of how you could see the corruption and how the senate themselves had begun to see the war as a chance to profit and saw the clone troopers as disposable, easily renewable weapons. It was at times fascinating.

Characters:

Ahsoka - I love Ahsoka Tano. I’ve heard that she wasn’t well received upon her introduction. I’m not entirely sure why because I didn’t have a problem with her in the clone wars movie. She wasn’t my favorite, but she had a lot of room to grow and I wanted to see what they would do with her. The very premise of Anakin having a padawan is fascinating to me because while we know what she isn’t around for revenge of the sith we don’t know why. Is she killed? Does something drastic happen that removes her from the story? Does she stay a jedi or fall to the sith? These were all possibilities and thoughts that I had when I started watching the clone wars. I made sure to stay away from spoilers because I like it when I get to watch something unfold. Ahsoka’s arc is fantastic. We get to see her transform into an idealistic, overconfident youngling to a calm and confident jedi. She, like Obi Wan and Anakin, goes through trials and sees her faith is the Jedi order shaken. The disillusionment and what paths it takes them all on is really interesting. Unlike Obi Wan who still wields and believes is the light side or Anakin who wields and falls to the dark Ahsoka becomes something in the middle, not light or dark. They all portray the different paths that their disillusionment can take. Ahsoka’s decision to become something in the middle echoes the sentiment that you should not deal in absolutes, which is a message within the series. Ahsoka’s decision to leave the Jedi order and forge her own path is what I feel the story was always culminating towards with her. This is why I’m excited for Ahsoka vs Darth Maul in season 7. They are both former apprentices that were betrayed by the order that they had sworn their loyalty towards, but while Maul focuses on vengeance and continues down the path of the dark side, Ahsoka focuses on the future and taking her own path separate from the light or dark. They are perfect opposites to one another in how they dealt with their similar situations. Ahsoka is the perfect example of the idea that the power doesn’t matter, it’s what you do with it. She chooses to still do what she knows is right despite not wielding the dark side. I’m really happy that she survived the series and the empire’s reign. I can’t wait to see what they do next with her.

Obi Wan Kenobi - I really liked what they did with him in this series. We got to see how his emotions did clash with his rigid adherence to the jedi code. His most telling moments were in his greatest failures. Even in the darkest times he didn’t lose hope. He continued to believe that a better future was possible in spite of all of his loss. And I think that is admirable. Because we are so often given characters that are either overly idealistic or overly pessimistic and I can understand both of these archetypes, but Obi Wan has seen the worst of people and lost so much and yet he still maintains hope and I think that is powerful. It may also be because I am a huge fan of Obi Wan. But his hope also has its downsides even within the show because it extended to his belief in the jedi order and their code. It prevented him from being with the one he loved and creates a divide between him and Anakin where they can’t really see eye to eye. The dynamic between him and Anakin is amazing and made my rewatch of Revenge of the Sith and their battle within the film so much more heartbreaking. Obi Wan is a character that has to do something and help where he can, much like Anakin, but where Anakin is brash and reckless Obi wan is calm and diplomatic. They are set up as amazing foils to one another. I just love how much this show fleshed out Obi Wan’s character and showed more to him than the movies got to. This show did a fantastic job with Obi Wan and made his transformation from who he is in the prequels to who he is in the original trilogy make much more sense. (I highly recommend SUPER FRAME’s review of this show. I really agree with his thoughts on Obi Wan in this show)

Anakin - Anakin is a character that unlike Obi Wan I wasn’t the biggest fan of coming into this series. I didn’t hate him, but I much preferred his Darth Vader counterpart. This series changes this and I now like Anakin much more and find his fall to the dark side to be just as fascinating as his life as Darth Vader. We get to see that he really does want to save everyone and how his attachment and possessiveness lead to him doing horrible things even from the very beginning to protect those he cares about. His protectiveness becomes closer and closer to possessiveness as the series progresses. This is most noticeable after Ahsoka leaves the order and Padme decides to work with Clovis. Anakin is controlling and demands/orders her to not work with Clovis. He tries to take away her choice in the matter. This is eerily close to who he is in revenge of the sith even if it is just for a moment before it gets shoved back down. All of these moments (once again) make his turn in Revenge of the Sith very believable because it’s clear that he can be capable of the things he does in that film and onwards. He was always teetering on the edge and he just needed a push to start his descent. The tragedy of Anakin Skywalker actually became a tragedy.

This entire show seems to be a story of disillusionment, of loss, of tragedy. What starts out to seem like a tale of triumph and valor is revealed to be a facade for the bleak reality that is war. Even the “good guys” have lost their way. Time and time again we see the council and senate make decisions that aren’t what would be considered the right thing to do. The senate looks at clones like products. Disposable, reorderable weapons to wage a war that they themselves are safe from as long as they stay on Coruscant. The Jedi order has lost their way. They are no longer peacekeepers, but weapons and warriors that perpetuate war by siding with the republic. They can’t help planets like Mandalore because they side with the republic, planets that tear themselves apart and are their own worst enemy. They are supposed to help the people and the further into the war they get the less people they can protect and the more people that die. The clone wars is known to be a tragic tale where neither side wins and both were manipulated. This show perfectly captures the tragedy. I couldn’t help, but understand Barriss’ scorning remarks about the Jedi Order by the end of the series while still sympathizing with Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi Wan’s desperate attempts to do what is right in spite of their terrible circumstances.

There is too much about the show that I want to talk about and this could probably continue for much longer, but I can’t endlessly add to this if I want to get it out before season 7 airs. There were some fantastic arcs like the mortis arc that I didn’t talk about and that’s because I wasn’t sure where to start with them. I would like to maybe later come back once I find the words and talk about them. I found this show got better with almost every season with season 5 being the best, especially since almost every episode was in the correct order. There were many highs within the series and it managed to expand a lot on the Star wars world, characters, and mythos. I liked how they brought Maul back and what they did with Ventress. Maul was something that easily could have gone wrong and Ventress is a character they easily could have just written off or killed. These are two risks that I felt paid off and there were many more. It took risks and managed to effectively comment on the justification and morality of war. It has arcs I find to be some of the best I’ve seen in animation and left me awestruck. I cannot wait for the 7th season. I’m so glad this show is getting the opportunity it deserves to end properly and tie up its loose ends. I will watch the episodes as they drop and I hope everyone who reads this will as well.

(I apologize if some of this seems jumbled. I think I may have a concussion so writing this was a bit more difficult that it should have been) 

To Embody a Demon

The writers made a very interesting decision regarding demons as the show progressed: although we as viewers knew the bodies they inhabited were not their own, they seldom appeared on-screen in any other way: Crowley has possessed five different people in his tenure on the series, but despite knowing that at least three of these are open vessels, he continues to return to the same one over and over again. Why is that? From the point of view of Supernatural as a show, it’s for the sake of consistency in performance and budgetary reasons. From the point of view of Supernatural as a universe, the reason isn’t nearly as well-defined. So take a walk with me and let’s discuss Crowley in relation to his new favorite body.

Even from my earliest days of writing Crowley, I knew for certain that his attachment to this vessel was special--it wasn’t mere convenience that drew him back to this body time and time again. I tried a lot of different reasons out for his constant returning to the same meat suit before managing to settle, now, on the one that feels most honest. This person looks a lot like Fergus MacLeod.

I don’t think it’s a doppelgänger, per se, but there is a more-than-just-passing resemblance between the two. I feel like, in the same that energy can never be produced or destroyed and only changes forms, the universe never produces or destroys facets of itself--it only changes their forms, so that every few centuries or so, that same combination of genetic materials will come together to form a nose exactly like this one, a fleck in the eyes perfectly like that, and the combination is so frequent and so randomized that sometimes you get two of the same and sometimes only two of the near-same. Fergus and this body fall into the latter category.

But it’s more than just recalling a passing resemblance to what he looked like in life. If a soul inhabits a body for long enough, I believe it retains that body’s quirks/form. Fegus MacLeod had his soul for 62 years: that same soul, even charred, twisted, and broken into a new form, still has phantom pangs for its body. I think all souls do. I think that’s why so many of the vessels in Supernatural reject other souls; the body recognizes the soul just like the soul does the body. And because some combination of genetic material is shared between Fergus and this body, some part of this body recognizes Crowley as fitting in perfectly right in certain places, making it a more accepting host for the soul.

And if you think I’m wrong, think about this:

What is it that makes Crowley, as a character, so damned attractive?

I love Mark Sheppard as a performer and 100% it’s out of his performance--but it’s not his looks. Stacked next to the rest of the endless eye-candy on the show, Crowley would never be dominated as a fan-favorite...but he was. Why? The killer attitude. He’s snarky, he’s sassy, he’s smart, he’s confident, he’s quippy: he stands out as a character because the content of his character stands out.

And that character, as it were, is the in-universe result of Crowley himself, NOT his meat suit. Think about it for a minute. Crowley...could have it all. His brains. His confidence. His hunger. His expensive tastes. And looks to boot. He could’ve inhabited Jason Momoa, Henry Cavill, Idris Elba, any sexy man or fuck, even woman!!!, alive--and he didn’t. Why not?

Because the show couldn’t afford them. Because something was wrong. He had no staying power in them. But in Mark Sheppard this meat suit, he did. He’s taken three other forms for a ride in the past and never stayed in even one of them past a few minutes of each episode. For me, that’s why he keeps landing up in this suit.

There are parts of the suit that feel incongruent with Crowley that the showrunners, in all their dubious infamy, were idiot assholes about, so I’m retconning them. They made Crowley’s suit a New York publisher of moderate success--fine. It feels uninspired, but fine. They made his suit an Englishman without considering the repercussions a Scotsman from the 1600-1700s would feel becoming English--not fine. (So now, despite his Scottish upbringing, Fergus was always actually an English sympathizer, which is why he lived for so long in southern Scotland, closer to the border.) Worst of all, they removed the tattoos. Now, I agree: Crowley, in the canon of the show, is not a tattoo kind of guy.

But what an absolute WASTE of a good moment to remind an increasingly complacent viewership that THAT IS NOT CROWLEY’S BODY.

So Crowley has the tattoos, even though he’s not the one who got them. He has an English accent even though he’s from Scotland. He has an imperfect body even though he could have a perfect one if he so wished. And one of my secret wishlist items, one of the things I think Crowley craves but can’t ask for, is to find a certain...acceptance.

Now I think the acceptance he craves is of a broader stroke and is something he would take anywhere he could get it, which I would be equally delighted to write!, but the specific acceptance I’m referring to here is bodily in nature. THIS ISN’T CROWLEY’S BODY, but it almost is. Not just by virtue of the genetic/universal principles I touched on earlier, but also because of time. He’s spent the better part of seven years in that particular body. Whoever was in it before, with the exception of some AU’s I’d like to try, is long gone. The only soul for that corpse now is Crowley. He fills its every inch the same way its original soul did, and it’s become just as much him as he has it.

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Despite perhaps not being universally sexy...Mark Sheppard is sexy. His body is rockin’. But I think, in the world in which Supernatural is set, both Crowley and the previous owner would’ve felt a bit like Donna in her first appearance: comfortable in their body, but not in ownership of a body others would find inherent attractive in a world full of Lauren Cohans and Jensen Ackles and Jared Padaleckis. So what Crowley wants but could never ask for, would protest against initially but what could probably actually bring him down to tears...would be having a lover worship his body like he does theirs. There’s acceptance in that. There’s love. And for all the snark and the sass and other barbs Crowley would set in the way, it’s a very concentrated means of proving your affection is complete and you want all of him, even the him that isn’t him and the him that secretly is.

And I’ve been shy to say it but at least now I have.

Eugenesis, Epilogue Scene Three: A National Holiday Is Declared

Mark your fucking calendars, folks, it’s a once in a lifetime event.

Now, what could be making Rodimus happy?

Telling himself that Kup isn’t dead, that Thunderclash isn’t dead, that Prowl isn’t dead, that the medics had managed to find their brains and fix them, that it wasn’t actually them who had died but some cheap copies.

Telling himself that Primus himself had given them the cure for the Inhibitor Chips.

Telling himself what he wishes was true.

Telling himself lies.

So, let’s try this again. It’s January 12th, 2013, and Rodimus Prime is awake and alive in the camp that is now home to the Autobots.

Rodimus has been spending the last few days listening to the recordings Perceptor made for him from the time he was busy being mostly-dead. He doesn’t remember any of the time he spent not-dead, but the scientists have been trying their hand at spirituality and more or less explained it to him as him ever-so-slowly approaching the event horizon of joining with the Matrix. The Matrix that we now know is a computer that makes babies, and that we’d already known was chock full of Unicron. Is this what being in the Cloud is like? Because if so, I’m just going to commit to a physical hard drive for all my stuff so my documents don’t become clinically depressed.

And while we’re on this whole not-really-dead thing: you know, retcons feel a lot less needing of justification when they aren’t being pulled by the same writer who made the retcon necessary in the first place, in the same piece of writing. Roberts, if you didn’t actually want to kill Rodimus, you shouldn’t have taken away all of his pigmentation and dusted his ass in a ditch after Kup went off the deep end.

I don’t think he’s actually happy, guys.

He’s currently staring out the window, totally not painfully aware of just how unbelievably tired he looks. Remember when this was the guy who went on fishing trips and joyrides with ten-year olds? Rodimus remembers. He remembers it very clearly. Someone let this guy take Animated Bumblebee’s place for a few days before he goes and finds a pod filled with robo-cancer or something.

It’s time to bury the pain again, as High Command comes through the door.

They made it! Rewind’s OTP lives, unlike him. Time to get down to business.

Rodimus thanks everyone for coming to the meeting, and starts going over the revamp process for the brand new Autobase- they’ve cleaned out the corpses, sorted them by faction, done god knows what to the ones that couldn’t be identified one way or the other, and we finally get to know just what in the fuck Jolup was doing Downstairs.  

…Alright then, Ed Gein. Is this how they were going to handle that dropped Phase Sixer subplot in Lost Light? Because if so, Swerve what the 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔.

Rodimus has decided that they’re just going to bury that nightmare under forty tons of plasto-steel, to never see the light of day again. Moving on, he says that Metroplex is recovering rather well from his transplant.

Oh! Hello, Metroplex. You’re looking very… alive. Didn’t you just spend the better part of the week dead and lying on the seafloor?

Turns out that Titans are pretty hardy- they just ripped his head off and slapped it into the middle of the new Autobase and he was good to go.

Rodimus hasn’t heard from Galvatron since he got back- I’m hoping it’s because Soundwave took matters into his own hands- and it’s making him a bit nervous.

Time for status reports!

Magnus has had teams searching for bodies (brains, really) that they can bring back to Ratchet to fix up. He asks Rodimus about potentially building another outpost on Earth, but it looks like he won’t be getting to see Oregon again anytime soon. There’s also the issue of literally everything Xenon told him back on Aquaria- he asks for a private audience for that. Magnus, did you really wait this long to talk to your boss about this? He’s got the Matrix inside him right now, and you didn’t think it pertinent enough to bring up sooner? Priorities, man.

Ratchet’s injected all the POWs with the anti-Chip, which has helped their physical health tremendously. However, not all of them are regaining the ability to transform, and that’s opened up a real can of worms, mental health-wise.  

I’m with Ratchet on this one. I know we don’t exactly have a ton of real estate on the bombed-out husk that is Cybertron, but surely there was something better than the epicenter of the Quintesson Antiholocaust/Transformers Holocaust.

Rodimus says that anyone uncomfortable with the camp can stay in Fort Max’s old place next door until they’re more open to the idea. The reason they aren’t staying at Fort Max’s altogether is because it’s apparently too small to house everyone. There’s, like, maybe three hundred of y’all left, and Max wasn’t exactly petite. Maybe I’m missing something here.

Rodimus, uncomfortable with the topic, moves on to one that’s equally as uncomfortable- Prowl. Ratchet wants to send him off with a full, personal funeral. He’s not dead yet, but he might as well be. Still no donor. Rodimus opts to let the guy die naturally, even after Ratchet explains that he might still be in pain even in a pod and knocked out. Geez, any more good news, doc?

Oh ho, you thought this would stop with just a single robot? Not even close.

Mirage is allowed to be in a bad mood this time. I can’t even remotely fault him for that. And Autobots don’t give parental leave? What a rip.  

Yeah, except they’ve all been Quintesson nightmare babies. This is what some folks might call a problem. Are you telling me that they can just catch pregnancy like the common cold now? This is tapping into irrational teenage fears. Christianity-based fears.

I have to wonder, what’s the general feel behind this process? It’s completely random, even when it happens to someone who’s supposed to go through it, and people just kind of stand there and watch it happen. I feel like it’d be really fucking embarrassing to just keel over and start going through mitosis in the middle of a room full of your peers. Then the whole murder-baby thing starts happening, and folks are drawing guns on your abdomen to top it all off. At what point do you just say “screw it” and have your torso removed?

Ratchet’s been storing the Quintessons in stasis pods, as opposed to Soundwave’s snap judgement of “kill now, repress later.” He’s run all the tests he can think of, and the things aren’t exactly hostile- they don’t really do anything, honestly. Perhaps murder-baby is too harsh a term. Still, they gotta figure out something to do with the little bastards. High Command’s been asking around off-planet.  

Well, there’s one mystery solved! Meeting’s over, Rodimus shoos everyone away, but Siren has something to report: he and Chromedome figured out Nightbeat’s final words.

Oh wow, I was WAY off. Road trip!