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namjooningelsewhere · 2 years

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If I Cant Have You - #1

➤ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

➤Angst: Angst (Shit Ton of it), Smut(Mature Content), Fluff.

➤Rating: 18+

➤Warning(s): Swearing, self doubts, crying,Cheating. Mentions of smut, sexual content, Lots of Yelling, Swearing, Heart break (Pretty Brutal). Taehyung is pretty heartbroken,Reader is confused. A lot of Heartbreak and angst, Sohee is a b@#$%.

➤Au: Idol au, cheating au, arranged marriage au.

➤Word Count: 8.5k

➤Summary: Loving Taehyung is easy. It's easy to get lost in his adorable smile, his glimmering eyes, his saccharine words and everything that is him, Thats what your best friend told you the ten years she had been dating him. But your life turns upside down when your best friend abandons her love and your chldhood friend at the altar and out of extra ordinary circumstances instead of Sohee its you whos staring at the same pair of glimmering eyes, wearing the white gown meant for her and feeling the weight of an expensive ring on your fingers and before you know it, you say 'I do'.

➤A/N: Thankyou for this wonderful banner Kiri @rkivian. Thankyou so much for making this for me at such short notice. Thankyou Nikki @xpeachesncream for letting me discuss this with you and taking a look on it for me, Youre the best.

@hobateas firstly, i am so sorry for missing out on such an important detail of mentioning you. That was jackass of me. Secondly, thankyou so much for helping me out so much with this fic, for everything. I don't know what i would have done with this if it weren't for you lending me a helping hand. Thankyou for being my go to for everything. Thankyou for being my bestie and for always cheering me.

This was supposed to be out a while ago, But work caught up and i had to legit dive head first into it. But im finally back after a lot of back and forth, Im definitely going to be more active now. Please let me know what you think about it, It makes me so happy when you guys leave comments or reblog it and send in asks.

➤Taglist- @bri-mal , @fr0g-queen , @justmewondering-recs , @halesandy , @craving4suga , @tetesland @astoriasx @kissme-ornot, @peachytanyaaa , @deliciousdetectivestranger

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You checked yourself once more in the mirror, making sure you looked perfect. The long flight hours had definitely taken a toll on your skin and the flight back tomorrow was definitely going to take a toll again too. You had just landed in Seoul for the bachelorette party of your best friend Sohee and your childhood friend Kim Taehyung's wedding.

The bride and the groom were your close friends. You knew Sohee since you both were in middle school, and Taehyung became your friend when his family moved in next door. You definitely played the matchmaker when Taehyung confessed to having a crush on your best friend. And you were more than aware of Sohee's crush on Taehyung when she had started visiting, way more than often under the excuse of some stupid homework and some lame project. It didn't take long enough for both of them to fall in love.

Taehyung and Sohee had a love story fit for a drama or a movie and you were extremely proud of the couple. Of the long way, they had come. It wasn't easy when Taehyung moved to Seoul to debut under his company. And it wasn't easy when Sohee moved to London with you to pursue her higher education. Time zones and different countries couldn't keep the love birds apart and they ended up crossing every hurdle until today when Sohee was an established DOP and Taehyung a global superstar.

"Y/n my dear, How have you been?" Mrs. Kim's cheerful voice stopped you in the lobby and you immediately ran into the arms of the older woman.

"Good as always Auntie, How have you been?"

"I'm good as ever dear. Why are you still here? The others left a while ago."

"Blame the flight Auntie, There was a delay. But I better rush now before Sohee and Tae have my head."

"That they will, But we definitely need to catch up. You should come over sometime."

"I would love Auntie, But I am leaving tomorrow after the wedding. Catching a flight back to New York."

"New York?" Mrs. Kim looked at you in a little confusion but was smiling sweetly nonetheless.

"I'm continuing my masters in The School of Drama in New York."

"Oh My My Y/n I'm so proud of you darling. Always the ambitious one." Mrs. Kim hugged you and patted your head fondly. You were about to bid her farewell when your mother's loud voice pulled you out of the older woman's embrace.

"There you are." Your mother pulled you in for a hug and Mrs. Kim chuckled, looking at the interaction between the mother and the daughter.

"Eomma you are ruining my hairstyle." You complained about trying to fix your hair.

"Kids these days."

"Where's Appa?"

"Oh, he's at the Bar with Mr.Kim."

"I'll get going unless you want everyone to kill me." You quickly bowed to the two women who just laughed at your antics.

You were about to make a beeline towards the entrance to the resort when a loud boisterous voice stopped you dead in your tracks.

"Yah Y/N have you no shame? How can you be late to your own best friend's bachelorette?" You were mortified would be the least to say. The lobby grew silent as Kim Seokjin walked towards you with a smirk on his face, followed by Jungkook, who was about to burst with the laughter he was trying to hold back so badly.

"Kim Seokjin, I will kill you." Jin laughed and pulled you in a hug. while Jungkook greeted you with his usual fist bump.

"Well, the married couple is hell-bent on having you dead for being late and arriving one day before your good friends got married. Sucks to be you."

"Jungkook let's go, let this old man keep bickering." You pulled Jungkook towards the door leaving a yelling Jin behind.

You met the bangtan boys in their second year of debut; Courtesy of Taehyung and Sohee, of course. You had known them for a couple of years between your and Sohee's transition to London and their intensely packed schedule. Your apartment was a den to the boys whenever they came to London.

The drive to the club where Taehyung and Sohee's parties were happening was fun-filled, to say the least. Jin and Jungkook had been specially instructed by Tehyung to haul your ass to the club somewhat by the lines of you would be late and only arrive after the party ended. Trust Taehyung and his over-enthusiastic ass.

"You better explain why you are late to the party Y/n? Your best friend is getting married for god sake." Taehyung enveloped you in his signature bear hug before he held you tightly against himself as if he was making sure you wouldn't disappear once his hold loosened.

"Blame the flights." You huffed and Taehyung rolled his eyes at you.

"And who do we blame for arriving just one day before your own best friend and childhood friend's wedding huh?"

"My finals. They just ended yesterday. I literally rushed to the airport after the exams."

"Oh, you better do it. You must know by now I can get out of murder." You elbowed Taehyung in the ribs and he let out a yelp, making you giggle.

"Speaking of, Where is the lady of the hour?"

"Oh, my wife is busy in the powder room touching up her already flawless face."

"Ooh, wife and all? The wedding is tomorrow Kim Taehyung."

"Oh please she is going to be my wife on papers tomorrow, I already married her in my head a few years ago." You rolled your eyes again at his comment. He was the biggest cheese ball in the group and an adorable one at that.

"How did ARMY react to the news of your wedding by the way? Must have been a ride."

"Oh don't ask, It's like the world has stopped revolving ever since the company announced my marriage. But we're keeping Sohee's identity a secret for now. Everyone will know I'm getting married but to whom that would be a secret." You were left speechless after Taehyung's confession. Damn, this must have been hard on the couple.

"I understand, People might go a little overboard if her identity is revealed. Her safety is the most important."

"See that's why you're my favorite, You seem to automatically get everything."

"Go away cheeseball." You playfully shove Taehyung away, who just tightened his arms around your shoulders.

"So when are you getting married babe? When can we expect an invitation to your wedding?"

"It's going to be a couple of years before you get that invitation, Taehyungssi. Who knows you might have mini versions of you and sohee running around by the time I walk down the aisle."

"Who said I was going to wait for a couple of years to have miniatures of me and Sohee running around?"

"Eww Taehyung, that's gross. I definitely didn't need to know that." Taehyung wheezed at your reaction and you just hit him playfully once again.

"So have you found a hot British Boyfriend yet?"

"Nope, I'm happily single and I definitely don't need to change that."

"Y/n if you and I are single when we are thirty, Then let's get married." Your eyes widened comically at Jungkook's statement, who had somehow managed to squeeze himself into the conversation.

"Oh god, you guys are insufferable." Taehyung and Jungkook laugh at your statement while you excuse yourself to find your best friend. You had to at least make sure you weren't getting killed for arriving just a day before your own best friend's wedding.

You were mentally prepared for an outburst when you and Sohee met in person, albeit being in touch almost every week; she still had threatened to have your head shattered when she would see you when you had revealed your exams would end just a day before her wedding.

But what you were definitely not prepared for was to see your best friend sitting near the bar, calmly sipping on her champagne, her eyes staring blankly into the wall in front of her.

"You okay there babe?" You asked Sohee, gently placing an arm around her shoulder.

Sohee made no movement and kept staring at the wall in front of her. You shook her a little more vigorously, and that seemed to have shaken her from her parallel universe.

"Hi." Sohee smiles at you. And you immediately mark that as the weirdest smile you've ever seen on your best friend.

"Just Hi?"

"Yeah. How was the flight?"

"Sohee what's wrong?" Sohee seemed to have realized something and that made her sit up.

"Oh nothing Y/n, I was just a little out of it."

"You're okay right?"

"Yeah yeah I'm okay, I'm getting married to my boyfriend of ten years, and everything is perfect." You start feeling a little uneasy at her statement. It sounded like she was trying to tell herself that. You don't question her further chalking it up to wedding jitters. Sohee quickly orders your favorite and you settle beside her.

Throughout the night you caught Sohee zoning out multiple times. There was definitely something wrong with her. She was still absent from the conversations when all the seven members gathered around you and she teased Taehyung and Sohee about their honeymoon and the number of children Sohee was going to have to give birth to. All she did was smile half-heartedly.

And you weren't the only one to notice, though, Namjoon and Yoongi caught you in a while, trying to inquire subtly if you knew something was up with Sohee. Honestly? You had no idea and nothing could come close to the feeling of not being there for your best friend. What had you ended up missing in your best friend's life while you were buried nose-deep in your books?

Sohee's eyes seemed to speak a lot more than the wedding jitters. There was definitely more to it than meets the eye like the normal situation. Where the bride and the groom would be joined at the hip before the wedding, Taehyung and Sohee were the exact opposite. Taehyung seemed to be over the moon with the wedding. His eyes literally shone every time he smiled. Sohee's eyes looked cold and empty.

You made a mental note of asking Sohee when no one was around but that immediately went down the drain exactly half an hour later Taehyung carried Sohee to his car. She ended up passing out because she had a little too much to drink. Taehyung quickly left with his driver to drop Sohee back at the hotel, promising he would be back once he tucked her in.

The rest of the guys and the people invited made themselves comfortable and soon enough within an hour, Taehyung was back.

"Is she okay?" Yoongi asked Taehyung as he made himself comfortable. Taehyung just sighed and had a sip of his drink.

"She is, She was a little overwhelmed but she said it was fine when I spoke to her this afternoon."

"You're sure, right? Sohee looked like too out of it? Isn't she getting enough rest?"

"Past few days have been a little busy with the travels and the wedding preparations and then the announcement."

"Understandable." Taehyung nodded and took another considerable sip of his drink and everybody dropped the topic, not wanting to probe further. It was assumed they might have had the discussion if anything was the issue.

By the time the party rolled to an end, most of them were already hammered. including Taehyung. Fortunately for you, alcohol seemed to kick in quite slowly. But the sleep that was overtaking every brain cell you had in you.

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"Fuck, Fuck fuck." You scrambled out of bed and rushed towards the bathroom to quickly have a shower and get ready for the wedding. The jet lag may have caught up to you. Which ended up in you sleeping in and waking up exactly an hour and a half before the wedding. Somehow, luck was never on your side for Sohee and Taehyung's wedding. First the exams, Then the flight, and now your sleep.

You got ready in record time and while you rushed out of the door and waited for the lift. A pleasant surprise awaited you when the doors of the lift opened. Jeon Jungkook smiled at you sheepishly when he saw you, and you smiled back at him. Busted.

"What's your excuse?" Jungkook looked up from his phone and gave you a questioning look.

"What excuse? We had stepped out in the backyard to drink some coffee." You burst out laughing at his excuse or the lie, but nevertheless, you showed him a thumbs up since this was going to save your ass as well.

"Smart."

"That I am."

"Why hasn't anybody called yet, it's just half an hour to the wedding."

"Come to think of it, that's surprising. How come none of the Hyungs have called yet?" Jungkook checks his phone, too, and there weren't any notifications from any of them either.

"Maybe they're all busy running around or just with Tae."

"Yeah maybe, I just put my phone on silent though. The entire internet is blowing up right now waiting for updates on Taehyung's wedding." You and Jungkook exit the lift and walk towards his car. You were thankful, at least you had some company.

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"Leave your phone in the car, phones are not allowed inside the venue." You quickly deposited your phone along with Jungkook's in his dashboard.

"That's some high-level security."

"That's not only it, you need to go through a check once you enter." You were amazed by the amount of security that had been put together. No electronic devices had been allowed inside the venue; special security measures were put in place to make sure of it.

After all, it was the wedding of the year, Kim Taehyung from BTS was getting married. Taehyung had taken special measures to prevent any kind of leak that would disclose Sohees' identity. According to Jungkook, only a few photographs would be released to the public, which would be taken at an angle where Sohee's face would be covered.

You and Jungkook went through security, and as soon as you walked to the venue, both of you blinked in confusion. The venue was unusually silent. It was still half an hour to the wedding, but there was an unusual amount of silence in the venue.

Although there were only forty people that were invited to the wedding, it looked like the place had been deserted. You both walk inside only to find not even half of them were being seated. None of the other members or your parents or Taehyung's could be seen.

Jungkook leads you to the room assigned to the groom and you find Jimin and Hobi frantically speaking on the phone right outside Taehyung's room. Their expressions looked scared as fuck, which made Jungkook sprint to his Hyungs

"What happened Hyung?" Jungkook asked Hobi, a little close to panicking, unable to figure out what had actually gotten them so scared.

Hobi raised a finger to Jungkook, signaling a minute.

"What happened?"

"I have no idea. I'll go inside, Can you please check on Sohee it's right down the hall. Something isn't right"

"Be right back." You ran the few steps to her room, your legs already hating you for running in your heels. The moment you open the door and enter her room is empty, and it doesn't look like there has been anyone in there before. You kind of were expecting a tornado in there considering there would be an army of stylists to help the bride get ready. But looking at the undisturbed state of the room and the wedding dress on the bed, it looked like there had been no moment here at all.

Your mind immediately rushes into the possibility of Sohee's safety, what if someone found out or what if she was sick. You immediately push the door close and head to Taehyung's room, only to be greeted by a sight you would have never imagined in a million years.

Taehyung sat in the middle of the room, crying silently while the rest of them sported a similar expression. Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi were bent over to Taehyung's level, desperately trying to talk to him while the younger one kept sobbing.

You had no idea what had happened here, but looking at the situation, it looked like something deeply disturbing had happened. Mrs. Kim and Mr. Kim were being talked to by your parents and the rest of the elders, but it didn't make sense to ask them either.

Your eyes met Jungkook, his eyes wet from the tears, and he clutched a paper tightly in his hands. He wordlessly walks towards you and hands you the paper and walks out of the room, wiping his tears away.

You flip the paper which seemed like a letter, and just the beginning of it caused your head to spin and suddenly Shoes' behavior yesterday made a whole lot of sense.

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Dear Tae,

I am really sorry to do this, but I really couldn't gather the courage to do this in person.

I really, really can't get married to you knowing my heart lies somewhere else. I met Mark a year ago when I was visiting New York for work. He and I had a lot of common interests professionally and that led to us becoming friends.

Unknowingly, we started falling for each other, and before the project was over Mark confessed. I didn't return to his feelings, but I knew deep down I felt the same as him. I tried to avoid the feelings or the way I was suffering inside, knowing that I was doing wrong by you; I had been engaged to you after all.

I tried to suppress every feeling, every emotion I felt for him until yesterday and I thought it would be easier once I got married to you. but all of that changed when I arrived at the venue to get ready for the wedding. The moment I wore my wedding dress was the moment I knew I couldn't do this to you and I couldn't ignore the way I felt for Mark. So I decided to do what I know best, run away.

Please don't blame any of this on yourself. Tae, it wasn't you. I don't know what happened or why I grew apart, but none of this was your fault. Mark and I really tried hard to put our feelings aside and do what was right, but it just didn't happen.

I may be the biggest bitch on this planet, but I would have been a bigger one if I would have gone through with the wedding knowing that I was in love with another man.

I don't know how else I am supposed to ask for forgiveness from the man who had nothing but unconditional love for Me. I am really sorry for what I did and I truly believe it. But this is better than living a life out of a lie with you, and that would have broken you more.

I am sorry, Taehyung, and I will always love you and I want nothing but the best for you. I pray that one day you will forgive and find a person who gives you the same love in the same capacity as you do.

I am truly sorry,

Sohee.

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The moment you finished reading the letter tears welled up in your own eyes as well. How did Sohee never once mention all of this? She had been in touch with you until last week and she seemed okay; it wasn't like you could have figured something was wrong over the phone either, but all of this came as a shock to you as well. You had been best friends with her since you were ten.

You step out of the room. Seeing Jungkook standing by the window, looking out, lost in his own thoughts, you decided to walk to the youngest. You didn't want to imagine what he must be going through seeing his own best friend like this.

''Did you know about this?" Jungkook's sudden question startles you.

"Do you think I would have let any of this happen if I knew?"

"I will never ever forgive her for doing this to him, she broke him."

"I am neither."

"I don't want to imagine what Hyung must be going through right now. I don't even know how we are going to fix him. He's suffering for no fault of his"

"He must be dying from the inside. The person he loved and trusted the most betrayed him in the worst way possible."

"Y/n can we have you in here for a second?" Namjoon's voice interrupted your conversation with kook; you nodded and followed him inside while Jungkook tailed close to you.

The atmosphere in the room immediately shifted when you entered behind Namjoon. Suddenly all the eyes were on you except Taehyungs. He was still seated lifelessly on the chair, the only movement being the tears flowing on his face.

"Y/nah we need to talk to you." A man probably in his forties stepped forward, followed by another man who looked a little older, you recognized as Taehyung's boss stayed close to him.

"If you're going to ask if I knew any of this, trust me I swear on my life I didn't know any of this. She never told me, didn't even hint that she was going to do something like this." You spoke everything in a single breath, and the man only nodded his head furiously at your confession.

"That's not what we want to talk to you about." Taehyungs boss finally spoke up and you looked at him in confusion unsure of how you would be of any help in this situation.

"We need your assistance."

"I am sorry but I'm not quite following."

"We have a request to make, you must be well aware of the situation on the internet and we don't think that announcing the wedding cancellation is a good idea"

You kept silent still, not understanding your role in this; but upon your silence, the man continued.

"It wouldn't be wise to let the world know that the wedding has been canceled, everybody has been waiting with bated breaths for Taehyung's wedding albeit the identity being kept a secret."

This still didn't make any sense to you, but the hopeful eyes of the people around you had your gut feeling uneasy as hell.

"Could you marry Taehyung?" You choked on air at the boss' question, you looked at him again, trying to confirm if you had heard something wrong. Did he just ask you to marry Tae?

"I'm sorry what?"

"I know what I'm asking for you is absurd but this is the only way out. This is the only way out to avoid any kind of harm done to Tae's reputation and there is no chance of letting people outside this room know Sohee ran away." You stood frozen in your spot, absolutely rooted to the ground. The room was already spinning in front of your eyes; you wanted to pinch yourself to check if you were dreaming. How the hell could this possibly be true?

"You're joking right?"

"Does this look like a joke to you?"

"I—

"I know we're asking too much of you, but please take some time to think it out. You would be helping your friend out of a potential public mess. Please he doesn't need this mess right now when he is this close to breaking down"

You had no words to counter that question. Taehyung was in a really bad state, and right now he definitely didn't need the internet passing judgment or a million theories floating about why his wedding was called off.

But you also didn't know how in the hell you could be obliged to the boss' request. You were to attend your best friend's wedding, and you were supposed to fly to New York tonight. You had the entire three years planned for you and the wedding was something that didn't even remotely fit in there.

" Can we talk to her please?" Your father spoke to the older man who just nodded.

Your parents and Taehyung's parents led you out of the room to the room right next door.

"Y/nah we want to know what you're thinking?" Your mom quickly sat you down on the bed while Mrs. Kim took a seat right opposite you, while your dad and Taes dad stood next to each other a little further from you.

"Eomma this is, ugh I don't know" you threw your arms in the air in frustration. Taehyung was an absolute sweetheart and an extremely close friend. Hell, you didn't have any kind of feelings for him romantically, either. He was always the goofy guy who you adored initially, and then he was one of your close friends and then Sohees boyfriend. And it had been that way for the past ten years.

"Y/nah if you ask me, I would say do it for your friend. What Taehyung needs right now is some support and this isn't just something that can be solved by a single statement considering how popular he is"

"Appa I__ Mrs. Kim's loud sob absolutely shattered your heart and you looked at her with tears in your own eyes. Never in your life had you seen this sweet woman cry like this; she was almost a mother to you, and seeing her in this state was heartbreaking to you, too.

"God I wish he had never met that woman" Mrs. Kim spoke in between her sobs, and you hated Sohee right at this moment. She could have definitely done things better.

"This changes everything." You let out a sigh, panic settling in your veins at the mere thought of going out and doing what was being proposed. Never in a million years did you ever think you were flying out to attend your own wedding.

An hour of emotional breakdowns, confusing questions, and logical and emotional reasoning later, your parents and the rest of the guys convinced you to go through with the plan.

You agreed for the sake of your friend who was sitting in the next room; his dreams, his smile, and his life taken away forcibly from him. But as much as you loved your friend, you still were your own person, and there were a couple of things that you wanted clarity on.

All eyes were on you again the moment you walked into the room again, your face still etched in a frown at how eventful this wedding had turned out to be.

"Are you absolutely sure there is nothing that can be done besides this? How about you lie that he got married today and just say a year later he got divorced or something? The identity would be a secret right"

The man who was a little younger than the boss looked at you like you had grown a second head.

"Do you know how big of a scandal this can cause if by any chance the truth gets out that the marriage never happened?" You obviously didn't know, you were studying to become a director and definitely not someone from PR

"Listen y/nah we can compensate you if that's what you like?"

"No. I am not getting paid at the expense of my friends' misery. Thank You very much."

"Please understand we have to do this."

"Tae" you called out to Taehyung, but the guy even refused to look up. He didn't even move an inch when you called out to him, not even when Yoongi tried. Jimin and Jungkook stood by Namjoon, absolutely heartbroken to see their soulmate in this state.

"Please do as they say.'' His broken voice pulled out another sob from Mrs. Kim and you couldn't help but walk towards Taehyung and get on his level trying to at least get the guy to speak.

"Tae please say something."

"Do as they say please." Tears rushed out of his eyes furiously, and Taehyung made no effort to wipe them away. Jin quickly placed a hand on his shoulder and nodded his head in a no and you got up. There was no way he was thinking straight. The pain took precedence over logic.

"Namjoon, can I please to all you guys for a minute?" Namjoon quickly got up and the rest of the guys followed you both outside the room

"Do you really feel this is the only option, you guys are his friends? You tell me, without weighing the professional outcomes.

"Y/nah I wish we could give you a different outcome or an answer but unfortunately this is the only way that makes sense without doing any further damage."

"You're the best way out y/n" Hobi speaks up, and you look at the six men helplessly. No matter what, this still didn't make sense to you, but you weren't even that selfish to let Tae suffer. He was your friend, after all.

"Namjoon can you do me a favor"

"Anything."

"Please make sure that if anytime in the future Tae feels uncomfortable or he doesn't want to go ahead with this marriage please make sure he has an easy way out of it." Namjoon smiles lightly at your suggestion, the least you could do is to make sure he wouldn't be trapped if he didn't want to do anything with this weird relationship.

All the six boys gave you a hug and walked out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts. This definitely wasn't the way you had imagined your trip to Seoul.

It was supposed to be a fun-filled wedding and a return trip to New York to settle in for your first set of masters. But life always showed a middle finger to your plans, and you should have known it would be the same this time, too.

You walked back to the room; everybody was being instructed on what and what not to do. You felt a wave of suffocation when you watched the atmosphere being handled so professionally, although it was just you, the guys, your parents, and Tae. Sohees parents had passed away when she was twenty-two, other than that you didn't know if she had any relatives. This was a touchy subject for her.

While the world was waiting with happy smiles, broken hearts, and endless sobs because of the heartthrob of the millennium Taehyungs wedding.

You stood at the altar with the sad man who had nothing but tears in his eyes, his soul shattered, and his heart broken beyond repair, with the worst possible way you and Kim Taehyung had become man and wife.

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You didn't think you had ever seen a wedding that went by in such a short time as yours. You had never given much thought to your wedding. That was something you planned for in a far-away future. But sadness, confusion, doubt, and absurdity were never a part of it.

The loose ring on your finger was living proof of the changes that were going to happen in your life now. Nobody uttered a word even after the wedding was long over. Everybody seemed to be shocked to the core at how the events of the day turned out to be. Taehyung had not uttered a word either. His eyes were swollen and red from all the crying. You hated Sohee for what she did to him.

The industry that Taehyung belonged to was the easiest to sway. Money, Fame. Temptations came as easy as breathing, but the guy had never let any of that sway him. You had been there since the beginning of Taehyung and Sohee's love story and you were by Sohee's side when both of them cried when they couldn't see each other often.

Taehyung was a one-man woman and his loyalty to Sohee for the past ten years had never moved an inch. It was Sohee and it was always going to be Sohee for him. No one could come close to what Sohee was for Taehyung, and yet she decided to throw all of that away for what? You cursed at Sohee for losing the best thing that had happened to her.

"Miss Y/n we need you for the photo shoot." The photographer's voice broke your train of thoughts.

"I'm Sorry?"

"We need to do a photoshoot for the photos that are going to be released to the public. I am sorry but it's already too late and we can't cancel this." You nodded and looked around the room for Taehyung, but he was nowhere to be seen.

The rest of the members immediately scurried away to find him while you waited on the balcony that was already painted in the shades of sunset. The view and the beautiful sky would have been a magnificent background if only both the bride and the groom had been happy. In your case, Taehyung was heartbroken and betrayed by the love of his life. You were a total mess for different reasons. Where do you go from here? What happens to all the plans? What about your masters that you were supposed to start in a week? Could you even go to the US now or would you have to start a different life in Seoul because you were married?

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Never ever in your entire life had you felt any human hands so foreign on your body. Although Taehyung just held you by the waist and the fading light was enough to highlight both your silhouettes in the picture, you could make out the hesitation in his touch.

The photographs were taken quickly given the situation and the tears and the slight sobs coming from Taehyung. While your wedding photograph looked straight out of a dream, the truth behind it was the stark opposite.

While the picture screamed unison, love, and romance the reality was exactly the opposite, behind the fading lights and dark silhouettes lay the ugly truth of a man who was heartbroken and close to shambles and the girl who just got thrown in a mix of an unfortunate situation, who was finding it equally confusing on where exactly she stood in life.

Taehyung didn't spend a minute after the photos were taken. He pulled away his hands like they were burning and you didn't even have it in you to react.

You stood at the end of the balcony watching the end of the day, while the people continued to wrap up the equipment. While there was enough noise to drown on that terrace, your mind drowned itself in the chaos of the situation and the silence of your decision.

"It's out." Jungkook's voice broke you out of your thoughts and you gave the man Kane a confused look. He quickly pushed his phone into your hand and you sighed deeply when you saw the picture. Wasn't it a few moments ago that the picture was taken?

Your eyes watered seeing the comments and the likes raining on the photos like no tomorrow. Taehyung was a global superstar, and it was no surprise that millions of his fans were just waiting with bated breaths to have a look at their newly hitched idol and his wife.

"Don't think too much about it, they're just probably excited." You nodded as you handed his phone back to him. You could do nothing but think about this, how you were partially in the spotlight. Although the company as promised, had taken strict measures to not let your identity be revealed, the fact that you were actually unknowingly trending on every possible social media platform, news website, and news channel was a little unsettling.

"What do I do Kook? I have no idea where to go from here?" Jungkook gently linked his arms with yours, and the tears that were just waiting to be spilled finally let themselves out after you voiced your fears for the first time.

"I have no idea y/n, I'd be lying if I gave you any kind of reassurance right now. The entire situation is just too weird right now."

"How's Tae?"

"The worst. I've never seen him this low Y/N. He hasn't stopped crying at all. He isn't speaking either."

"God, I wish there was some magical way to take away his pain."

"You know, since the time we debuted Taehyung was the only guy who had a fight with the managers about his girlfriend. While the rest of them broke up or didn't prioritize their relationship, Tae was the only one who was fighting for him. Eventually, the managers gave up but the guy didn't."

"I really wish Sohee didn't do this to him."

"Me too y/n. Let's go inside, it's getting dark"

You unlink your arms with the maknae and begin walking toward the exit of the terrace, a small prayer repeating in your mind to let this falling darkness be the end of the damn day.

The moment you got down you saw people already arranging to exit the venue, the reception being canceled long ago.

Everyone already seemed to have been waiting for you from the site before you. Without a word you followed your parents and took your parents into the cars.

You didn't wait for anyone to say anything as you hastily made your way to your room; the moment you opened the door to your room, the suitcases neatly lined up in the corner broke out a sob from deep within. Your flight to New York was due in seven hours.

Every passing second seemed to put weight on your shoulders. What exactly were you supposed to do now? Do you leave like you planned or if you would have to forget everything you planned and devote yourself to this new life?

The harsh knock on the door startled you and you quickly wiped your tears and got up to open the door.

"Ms.Y/n the boss wants to see you." The man from earlier politely spoke while your heart started drumming faster against your rib cages, trying to take a guess what possibly could be left now?

You follow the man who introduced himself as Sejin and led you to a balcony on the same floor. Your eyes widened when you saw everyone present there except Jimin and Taehyung.

"Y/naah have a seat."

"What is this about?" The boss quickly placed a thick stack of papers along with a pen in front of you and your eyes almost popped out.

"These are some contracts that you need to sign."

"What contracts?"

"Consider them as a safety measure."

You picked the one on top and the contents of the contract started giving you a headache. It was an NDA, and the more you read about it, the more you began to contemplate your decisions. Without giving a fuck about them, you quickly pick up a pen and start signing it.

There are loud gasps in the room when you quickly start signing the contracts without reading much. The first page of the first contract was enough to give you an idea of what to expect from the rest of them.

"It's not like I have any Ill intentions anyway." You mutter to yourself as you sign the last page and push the stack to its original place, in the hands of the big boss.

"I have a copy sent to you in your email." He quickly checks them once more, and when he looks like he had cross-checked everything, you take that as a cue to leave.

"If that's all, I'll take your leave. I have a flight to catch."

"Where are you going?"

"New York."

The second loud gasps in the room decorate your skin in goosebumps, everyone's loud arguments draining out any kind of mental energy to fight back.

The sad part of the entire chaos was the way everyone seemed to care about Tae, but not once did anyone think about you, including your parents. You had been tangled in this mess, too. You were confused earlier, but you weren't about to let go of the plans you had. You worked hard to get things in place. Why should you let them go?

"Y/n you're married now, you can't just leave everything and go." Your mother's harsh voice broke your heart a little.

"Eomma what about my master's?"

"You can do that here y/nah, there are good universities here too."

"Eomma School of Drama New York is the best in the industry. I worked hard to get in. I can't just leave."

"Y/nah you can do it here, we'll arrange for the best colleges for you in Korea."

"Namjoon it won't be the same. That University is a gold mine."

"We can help you intern with some of the best directors here, it will be easier for you." Your eyes widened at the boss' suggestion, you didn't need a shortcut to your hard work.

"I don't want the easy way out, I've worked hard till here, and I want to continue to do so."

"Y/nah you're being stubborn." Yoongi's voice broke the second part of your heart. Why was fighting for your dreams stubborn? How were you in the wrong in all of this?

"No, don't be like that Tae needs you." Jungkook's words were the last straw for you. Your head was threatening to burst when everyone else agreed to it.

"What my son needs is a little space to grieve what he went through and what y/n needs is a little time and space to process this situation and to let her work towards her dream." Mrs. Kim's voice cut through all the tension in the room.

"My son is what he is today because he never gave up on his dreams and y/n doesn't need to give up on hers just because she's married now."

"I agree with Chae-won. The kids will figure the rest themselves. Right now what they need is a little space to process this." Mr. Kim agreed with his wife and everyone visibly deflated their strong stance.

"Y/nah get ready, me and Taehyung's father will drop you at the airport." You nodded at Mrs. Kim's request and quickly made a beeline to your room. You need to get out of here now.

You quickly shove your remaining belongings in your bag and get changed in record time. The moment you open the door to your room, you almost fall back in shock. Everyone except Taehyung and his parents were waiting outside. You immediately decided to give them a piece of your mind if they were here, to convince you to stay back just because you were married now.

"Y/nah we're sorry." Namjoon was the first one to speak. Your eyes wandered out to your parents, who were standing right next to Jin. They looked guilty, and that kind of gave you relief. You hated fighting with your parents and so far you have been lucky.

"We were just thinking about your well-being, But I guess you're big enough to decide that for yourself. We're sorry." Your eyes widened at your father's words. You nodded and decided not to question anything further. The situation was doing that enough already.

"That's okay, Really." You quickly hug everyone. Even though the lobby looks a little small for eight people. Your mind calmed a bit after that considering the earlier incident had left a sour taste in your mouth.

See, you had no problems with everyone being concerned for Tae. They should have been. He was hurt, rather, he was destroyed after what Sohee had done to him. But pushing that on you was unfair. You had not even the slightest hint in your wildest dreams that you would end up marrying your best friend's boyfriend.

Everybody muttered their share of apologies and walked you down to the lobby where supposedly Mrs. Kim and her husband were waiting for you. Mrs. Kim stopped talking to her husband and rushed to your side.

"All good Y/nah?"

"Yeah, Auntie. Let's go." The staff provided their assistance with your bags and your parents quickly gave you another hug before you left. Just as you were about to thank the heavens for finally concluding the day. You were proved wrong the very next second.

"Y/n.." A heavy baritone voice stopped the three of you dead in your tracks. You blinked your eyes twice to check if you were dreaming again, Mrs. Kim let out a loud sob seeing her son, and Mr. Kim let out a gasp. Taehyung was rushing towards you, barely managing to walk properly. His hair was disheveled, his shirt tucked out, eyes red, and a slur in his speech.

"Taehyung." Mrs. Kim tried to hold her son. But the said man just brushed her hand off and charged towards you. Before you could react to it, Taehyung grabbed your hand roughly and snatched the wedding ring on your finger, and walked away just the way he had come out of nowhere. Mrs. Kim's sobbing had now turned into angry shouting, but Tae paid no attention to his mother.

"Kim Taehyung came back here." Her angry outburst had no effect on Tae whatsoever, who just stumbled inside.

"Y/nah I'm so sorry, He's not in his right mind. Let me go get your ring." Mr. Kim began taking quick steps in the direction Taehyung went. But you quickly stopped him. That ring wasnt definitely yours to keep.

"Let it be Uncle, It was made for Sohee. It wasn't mine anyway." Mr. Kim gave you a sad look which made you feel like shit for a second. You hated pity with your entire existence and somehow today proved to be doing just that.

"But Y/nah–

"Auntie please, Let him. Let's leave. We are getting late."

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"Y/nah I'm so sorry for what Taehyung did and also for the situation earlier."

"Auntie you don't need to ."

"No Y/nah a lot of things were on the line out there. Sohee had no right to do what she did."

"Uncle, I really don't know why she did what she did. If there was any chance that I could undo what happened, Trust me I would. Both of them are my friends and I don't want one suffering because of another."

"You're a good girl Y/nah, I don't know how to thank you for what you've done for my son."

"Auntie now you're just being formal, Trust me when I say I don't know how or if this is going to work out."

"I know, But I'm glad. It's You."

The interaction between the three of you had to be cut short because of the flight announcement. But you left with reassurance from Mrs. Kim and her husband, and with their numbers as well, promising them that you would keep in touch.

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Taehyung had never ever imagined in his wildest dreams that he would be specifically having these two thoughts about his life.

One, he would have never imagined in his wildest dreams that he would hate where he is today. It was because of who he was, that he had to marry his childhood friend. It was because of what he was he had to sit there and agree to whatever his boss told him, who knew the best way to minimize the damage that would be done to his and his band's reputation. It was because of who he was, that he had to throw away the idea of being selfish because he had six more others to care for. It was because of who he was. He was supposed to care what the world thought about him.

He had no chance to even process his pain, the moment the letter reached his hands, and he couldn't even read half of it because the tears had already started gushing down his face. All he knew was that his love had left him for another man.

The second being, he never had imagined in his wildest dreams of Sohee, leaving him. Never ever. He thought he and Sohee had found what others were looking for. That one true love.

Sohee wasn't only his love. She was the reason he wanted to do better every single day. She was the reason everything seemed alright in the world. She was the force that grounded him. She was the air that he breathed, and she was the soul of his body.

It pained him to even think of the fact that his Sohee had fallen in love with someone else. They had risen through everything, the pain. The urge to fly across countries and hug each other and never let go, the rising stardom. The recognition of everything. Taehyung loved all that he achieved because Sohee was with him. She taught him how to stay true to his roots and never forget them. She was the one who was by his side when things weren't working, and she was still the one who was by his side when he reached the highest pinnacles of success. And now she was gone, and he could do nothing.

Taehyung hated himself for not being able to notice the signs. He should have been more careful, if he had noticed he would have reminded her of their love, their memories, the dreams they saw when they set out to make it, and the promises they made when they had achieved it. Everything.

He would have reminded her of all that held them together for so many years.

Now she was gone, just like the smile on his face. Now she was nowhere to be found just like his happiness. Sohee hadn't just walked out of his life with another man. She had taken his soul and his hopes and dreams of a happy future with her. He was lost.

Now he was all alone, married to his childhood friend, and while his fans celebrated his happiness and wished him, love, Kim Taehyung sat locked in his room with his best friend, drinking his worries away and trying to forget his pain for just that night.

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mooksie01 · 4 years

Text

With Teammates Like These, Who Needs Friends (4/5)

Chapter Summary: It turns out that the only thing worse than a tense first date in an airship... is an awkward first date in a haunted dust mine.

Or: In which Clover feels like a moron, Elm causes problems, and nobody knows how to deal with a crush.

Warnings: More swearing, canon-typical combat, SPOILERS for V7C3, light angst

AO3 Link: [X]

Link to First Chapter: [X]

Notes: THIS IS A REPOST. Tumblr basically blanked my first attempt at posting this a few hours ago. Hopefully this one will actually show up.

Long chapter today to make up for the short one yesterday! I hope you all enjoy!

Please like, reblog, and comment if you like this chapter, and thank you so much to all of you who have been! Your support means the world!

(Just to preface, I haven't edited this chapter as thoroughly as I usually do, as I'm currently in the process of packing to go back to college tomorrow. I might come back later and give it another run-over when I have time, but for now, I'm sorry if there are any major mistakes or awkward spots in the chapter!)

---

Walking through the abandoned dust mines with Qrow, Clover can’t help but be… a little distracted.

Up until now, Clover had only ever seen the other man move in a manner so instinctively disconnected and introverted that he’d just assumed that that was how Qrow always was. Now, though, he sees that he was wrong before; beside him, Qrow marches forward, back straight, shoulders carefully held lax in preparation for any possible conflict, head high, and eyes shining with a startling clarity and determination that takes Clover’s breath away.

In short, he’s a vision and it’s a herculean task not to stare.

Still, Clover is a soldier first and foremost, and he doesn’t allow himself to be sucked in so much that he might lose focus on the mission.

After a few long moments punctuated by nothing but his team’s routine check-ins, Qrow speaks up, “Gotta say, ’m still not really used to working with other huntsmen in the field.”

Clover glances at him out of the corner of his eye, mentally jumping hurdles in an attempt to figure out what the best route to steer this conversation in would be. He decides to tread lightly--nothing too personal. “But you were on a team before, weren’t you?” he asks, as though he doesn’t already know. That should be safe.

Qrow sighs softly and his gaze darts to the ground.

Fuck.

Just kill him already.

“Long time ago…” Qrow’s voice comes out sounding gruffer than usual, “I’ve just found working alone tends to be for the best.”

Clover’s heart constricts in his chest. What is he supposed to do?! He’s already upset Qrow (twice, now!), how is he supposed to avoid doing it again?! He doesn’t want him to shut himself off from the Ace Ops just because Clover can’t stop sticking his foot in his mouth! Should he comfort him? He seems like he needs comfort. Fuck, he has to respond. What can he say?!

“Well, I think that’s a shame,” he blurts out, and immediately wants to punch himself.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, he is saved from having to ruminate over his social missteps when Qrow suddenly pitches forward, his foot catching on the uneven terrain of the cave floor underneath them.

Clover dives after him, seizing him by one arm and grunting with the unexpected strain of having to pull his partner back to his feet, then moves one hand to clasp his shoulder and make sure he’s steady. He is unsure if he has his skill or his semblance to thank for the feat, but he is grateful nonetheless to whichever it is.

He determinedly does not think about how this is the second time today that he has gotten the opportunity to hold Qrow close. Because that would be weird.

Once Qrow is standing again, they stare at each other for what feels like a long time, but is probably only a split-second. Clover feels like tiny nevermores are making a mess of his insides the longer he looks into Qrow’s eyes.

Then, those incredibly nice-looking eyes narrow into a slight glare and Qrow takes a firm step back. Rather than think about what he’s messed up this time, Clover decides that now would be a perfect time to report in to his team.

“Alpha, here. Give me an update.”

Qrow falls into step behind him as they proceed forward. Once again, the minutes pass mostly in silence but for the intermittent interruptions of their comms. Unlike Squads Bravo and Charlie, they see no sign of any sentinels or the target itself, but Clover has a feeling that they will soon enough.

His comm buzzes in his ear and makes a soft beeping noise, a signal that someone is contacting him through the Ace Ops’ private channel. Clover is about to answer aloud, but stops when a quiet series of taps and drags echoes down the line. It takes him a second to realize he’s being spoken to through morse code. His heart starts racing. They almost never use morse code in the field. Has something gone wrong?

He listens closely.

“ .... --- .-- … / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -... .. .-. -.. “

HOWS YOUR BIRD

He takes a deep breath in and steadily lets it out through his nose. Now is not the time to figure out if it’s possible to throttle someone through a comm line. Instead, he tries to discreetly raise a hand to his ear and respond:

“ .. -- / --. --- .. -. --. / - --- / ..-. .. .-. . / -.-- --- ..- “

IM GOING TO FIRE YOU

“Who are we firing?”

Clover startles, whipping his head around to look at Qrow. The other man stares impassively at him, a single eyebrow raised. Clover swallows hard because oh no, he’s hot. “Nobody. Well, Elm, probably.”

“What did she do?” Qrow asks, quickening his pace half a step until he is walking shoulder-to-shoulder with Clover again.

“Fooling around on comms during a mission. Don’t worry about it.” Clover stops walking, turning to face Qrow, who takes the hint and also comes to a halt. “How do you know morse code?”

Qrow shrugs, folding his arms over his chest. “Just a useful skill for a huntsman to have, isn’t it?”

Clover scrutinizes Qrow for a long moment, detecting that there’s something more to that. Unfortunately, though, he’s not Robyn, and he doesn’t know Qrow well enough yet to pick up on any tells he may have, so he just nods and they continue walking.

“Must’ve been something real interesting,” Qrow says after a few more minutes spent in silence, “to get you to blush like that.”

Clover’s steps falter. His face grows hot as he stares after Qrow’s retreating back.

Fuck.

He isn’t allowed to stew in his embarrassment for long, as their target suddenly phases through the cavern wall and appears right in front of them. Before Clover can even react, Qrow has already drawn his weapon and started shooting one-handed at the geist.

While Qrow keeps the creature busy, Clover shakes himself out of his stupor and speaks into his comm, “This is Alpha! We’ve engaged the target!” He pulls Kingfisher from his belt. “All squads head towards our position!” He extends the pole, and casts out the line, hoping to catch the geist by its ribs and haul it in before it can reach any materials to build a body out of. Unfortunately, his shot misses, the hook clattering to the ground just as the target darts into a giant chunk of ice sitting on the cavern floor.

Pieces of rock and ice begin to float into the air around them, pulled unrelentingly into the geist’s orbit. Clover curses under his breath and rushes forward, hoping to snag the geist and pull it out of its half-formed body before it can finish construction….

...Only to hear Qrow’s panic-filled voice echo from behind him, “Wait, stop!”

Clover looks up just in time to see a large metal beam tumble from the ceiling above. He raises his arms and takes a stumbling step back as it crashes into the ground just a few feet in front of him.

When the dust settles, he peers down into the hole it had made, taking the target with it.

Dammit.

He knows for certain that that beam would’ve done some serious damage if not for Qrow’s warning. He probably wouldn’t have died, but he certainly would’ve been out of commission for more than a little while.

Still, the target got away, and as Qrow runs to stand beside him, he reports in to the rest of the teams, “Target escaped. Last seen headed east.”

He shoots a sideways glance at Qrow, who is staring contemplatively down into the chasm, a strange light in his eyes that Clover can’t quite comprehend.

He looks back into the seemingly-bottomless darkness. Kicks a medium-sized stone into the newly-made pit in an attempt to get a rough estimate of how deep it goes. “Thanks for the call-out,” he says, suddenly remembering that he should probably express his gratitude toward Qrow for saving him an awful lot of injured leave. He props a hand on his hip and shifts his weight as the rock lands below. “That could’ve been bad.”

Qrow sighs heavily next to him, “I wouldn’t thank me….”

Clover is taken aback at the sheer amount of self-loathing and shame loaded into those four little words. He looks at Qrow. The other man is firmly avoiding his gaze, and the strange quality that Clover had noticed in his eyes earlier now registers in the back of his mind as guilt.

This… was not the Qrow Branwen that Clover had thought he’d be dealing with. Just a few hours ago, he couldn’t fathom a world in which such a famous huntsman would be anything less than confident and secure in himself, but it is becoming increasingly clear that that assumption couldn’t have been more wrong, as the intense self-contempt Clover hears seems to settle within a well-worn place in Qrow’s face and voice.

Qrow angles his upper body away a bit more so Clover can no longer see his expression. “My semblance brings Misfortune. Sometimes… I can’t keep it under control.” His voice gets weaker at the end of the sentence. His fists clench weakly at his sides.

Clover’s chest seizes with some unnamed emotion.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course Qrow had been upset this morning--his semblance was literally bad luck and here Clover had been, walking around with a bunch of good luck charms and making luck-based puns.

Reviewing the events of the past hours, more and more pieces fall into place. Qrow’s sudden shift in mood from playful to downtrodden after they’d run into each other, how he’d repeatedly downplayed his hurt feelings as “dramatics,” the way he’d said on the airship that he “couldn’t blame” Clover for--for what?

He remembers the way Qrow had gestured to his ensemble earlier. His world tilts on its axis.

Oh, Brothers, Qrow thought that Clover already knew his semblance and had been wearing all of his charms as some sort of twisted precautionary measure. To ward off him. A human person with thoughts and feelings.

Stupid, stupid, so stupid.

He shakes his brain’s attempts at self-punishment away. What’s more important at the moment is that he now knows what’s wrong, and that he can fix it, and Clover decides in this moment, a million thoughts running through his head, that he no longer cares about the other Ace Ops’ teasing. If hanging around Qrow from here on out is what it will take to boost this gorgeous man’s self-confidence, then that’s what Clover will do.

“That so?” Clover asks, as though he hasn’t been rethinking every single one of their interactions up to this point. When Qrow turns to look at him, eyes wide with shock, having obviously expected a far worse reaction, Clover flashes him the most reassuring smile in his repertoire (and that’s saying something, since he has a lot of reassuring smiles saved up at this point). “Well, hey,” he says, purposefully making a show of glancing casually at his scroll’s screen and extending Kingfisher, “don’t beat yourself up about it.”

(He hopes desperately that this remark comes off as encouraging, rather than callous.)

He pulls down what’s left of the metal beam that had almost crushed him, resulting in a small-scale landslide that just-so-happens to give them a way down with which to follow the target.

He turns to face Qrow, making direct eye contact with the other man, who seems to have frozen in place.

And hey.

“My semblance is good fortune….”

If he can get in a little flirting while he’s hanging around the aforementioned gorgeous man?

“...lucky you, huh?” He gives the other a wink as he speaks. Qrow’s eyes widen. Clover raises his eyebrows and turns away, watching Qrow until the last possible moment.

Well, that’s neither here nor there.

---

More Notes: And there we go! Only one chapter left in this part of the series! I'm glad everyone seems to be liking it so far, and I'm so, so thankful to those of you who have been so kind and supportive in the comments. You're all amazing! Lots of love, fair game rights <3

#rwby #qrow branwen #clover ebi #fair game #qrowver #lucky charms #luckbirds #elm ederne #rwby volume 7 #rwby7 #rwby v7 #rwby fanfiction #rwby spoilers #pining #angst

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buttjaehyun · 5 years

Text

me vs. my best friend (kpop edition)

welcome to whatever this is i guess, well my nickname is nana so nice to meet y’all and since this is a post about me AND my best friend her nickname is kun so i’m just gonna refer to her as kun so just saying that now do y’all don’t get confused later

WARNING: this is an extremely long post so if you don’t want to read all of it i can’t blame you but it did take me roughly 8 hours to write this so i’d appreciate it if you read it but it’s okay if you don’t^^ also please respect our opinions and if any of you want to answer these questions in the comments or reblogs then please feel free to do so!!

so this was originally gonna be a youtube video but honestly i’m way too lazy to edit roughly 82 different music videos into 15 minutes. so i’m just gonna do it here until i get motavated enough to actually download 82 music videos and edit them down into clips. at the bottom of this is a spotify playlist of the songs i was gonna download audio/music videos for if you want to take a listen, there is one for me and one for kun ^^

so i guess i’ll start btw kun’s list took me SO LONG cause she’s also indecisive so we sat on the phone for 2 hours while she was answering these questions i swear

me (nana)

kun

both of us

1. Favorite Male Group:

- got7; im not even gonna lie those seven goof balls mean the world to both of us, like we’re seeing them on july 6th for the second year in a row, how can they top the greatest day of our lives?

- i adore all of them so much and they’ve made me the happiest i’ve ever been and i can’t believe i actually fell in love with one of them??? like it sound STUPID AF but like i deadass fell in love with mark tuan and i don’t regret it at all

- MY BOYS! honestly because of them i laugh constantly and can’t help but love them! especially yugyeom! he’s so cute i can’t! his eyes, his voice, his everything i adore him and he owns my heart from now until forever

2. Favorite Female Group:

- aoa; aoa was my first girl group besides f(x) and they have a special place in my heart but other then them i also adore twice

- red velvet; im not too into girl groups but i’m trying but so far i really enjoy red velvet and their personalities and they’re few of the girl groups i actually know the names of lol

3. Favorite Band:

- day6; we’re jyp stan’s at heart (and sm stan’s im not gonna lie) we’ve loved all of jyp’s groups and soloists thus far, honestly day6 doesn’t have a single bad song if you ask us

(dowoon owns my heart just thought you would like to know that)

(and brian owns mine whoops)

4. Favorite Underrated Boy Group:

- the boyz; they’re so cute and talented so stan them asap plz (also stan astro my bubs) okay so this one was hard for me ngl, i adore the group kun chose from the bottom of my heart but a lot of our answers are similar so i wanted to change it up

- astro; thanks to nana she dragged me into loving these goof balls and i’m so glad she did, they’re all so adorable and they have great music so stan my babies :(( sanha is the cutest babie and i love him please love my beagle boy

5. Favorite Underrated Girl Group:

- dreamcatcher; hands down one of the easiest questions for me? like idk i adore these girls and they’re great so please stan :D

- clc; MY GIRLS MY QUEENS okay so other than red velvet they’re my favorite girl group and i’m absolutely not gonna deny that

6. Favorite Rookie Boy Group:

- stray kids

so i’ve stanned stray kids since predebut, specifically when hellevator was released, YALL HAVE NO CLUE HOW HYPED I WAS im serious i didn’t shut up about these boys and i’m so glad they’re so beyond successful and i adore each and every one of them p.s stream side effects

i’ve liked stray kids since predebut but after nana’s persistence i ended up adoring the members more than anything (except yugyeom) i major stanned since january of 2018 and i’m so proud of my boys :((

7. Favorite Rookie Girl Group:

- itzy; so other than everglow it was hard for us to make a decision on this, neither of us STAN STAN many girl groups so most girl group debuts slip our minds after watching them but dalla dalla had been stuck in both of our heads for months now so that’s why we ended up choose itzy (also jyp girl group duh)

8. Favorite Disbanded Group:

- speed; okay so most people don’t know them and i am: depressed about it but it’s okay, they’re my boys and i love them, one of the members is actually zico’s older brother so oof yes talented family, they’re great and i miss them so much :(((

- history; so roughly towards the end of 2016 i saw their video just might die and queen, nana had already played me queen before and i really enjoyed the song (bop listen to it plz) and i just loved them from then on, after they announced their disbandment last year ngl it hurt cause i love them

(i could only find the audio of just might die without having to download the video so the link to the video is attached to just might die)

9. Favorite Sub Unit:

- NCT Dream; okay i’m not that person to be like Oh I oNlY stAn ThIs UnIt OF nCt no i stan all 21 members and whoever else joins from that HOWEVER all of the dreamies are really really high on my bias list so that’s why i chose them for my favorite unit (stream dnyl thanks :D) im actually listening to dnyl while writing this so love that

so i couldn’t find any gifs of nct dream ot7 so i settled for this cute gif of jisung

- WayV; i love all of nct but kun (+johnny and mark) are at the top of my nct bias list. i love take off and i love every song they’ve released so far, my boys ARE APART OF NCT (for y’all dululu fans) also stream dnyl for nana so she’ll shut up about how much she adores dream not that she’ll ever shut up about how much she loves them tbh

10. Favorite Duo:

- Jus2 + JJ Project

- again here comes the utter LOVE for jyp groups along with got7 i adore both of these duos beyond belief and i need mark to have a duo or a unit or SOMETHING cause i love him with every ounce of my being

- yugyeom. that’s it. yugyeom is the loml and there’s nothing he does where i won’t love him, focus on me hit somewhere different and i LOVE IT and HIM and of course jaebum cause he’s great too uwu i also love both of jjp and i was so exited for tomorrow, today so that helped too^^

11. Favorite Senior Group:

- infinite; so infinite. yeah i’m a HUGE inspirit and i miss hoya, sunggyu, and sungyeol like hell but it’s okay, i adore infinite im not gonna lie (to be fair i adore a lot of groups) and they mean a lot to me, out of my ults i think myungsoo has consistently stayed at the same place since 2016 as my second ultimate bias oof wow, it was also hard to choose between infinite, suju, and shinee like damn

- super junior; so i love suju? i love them more after once again thanks to nana’s persistence after black suit came out even though i was gonna listen to it away, i already loved heechul and leeteuk but dang i really love them and so does nana. but she likes too many groups to just choose one without overthinking it ALOT

12. Favorite Debut Song:

- come back again by infinite; okay so this was also a really hard one cause i love nct’s debut as well as ateez and astro but i ended up choosing come back again cause i find my self searching far and wide just to listen to this song (cause it’s not on apple music or spotify)

- pirate king by ateez; so yes i know that their debut was TECHNICALLY treasure but i love pirate king too much to not say it was my favorite debut, this song is still on constant repeat and always will be like uGH

13. Favorite Male Soloist:

- jeong sewoon; so im a big ol mush pile for all of the produce 101 s2 boys so of course sewoon would be up there with jinyoung, donghan, and SO MANY OTHER GREAT MEN, i adore his voice and the way he sings, he’s just so? great??

- dean; dean was the first kpop artist i ever listened to even without knowing he was a k-r&b artist, i love his voice, it’s so soothing and i can never stop listening to it

14. Favorite Female Soloist:

- chungha; coincidently snapping came out the day before i started writing this so yes?? queen?? but seriously i love her so much and i can’t ever contain my love for her music

- IU; she so ADORABLE? i love all of her music and i can’t believe she’s an actual human being, i seriously love her so much that it’s just uncontainable, she has one of the best voices in the kpop industry

15. Favorite Male Vocalist:

- baekhyun of exo; exo was my first group i ever got into, and they never cease to amaze me when it comes to their music. they never and i mean NEVER disappoint with their albums and bsides, as to why i chose baekhyun is simple, HIS VOICE SENDS CHILLS DOWN MY SPINE i mean so does jongdae but still

- kyungsoo of exo; i love kyungsoo and his voice and i’m going to miss him beyond belief after he leaves on july 1st :(( but seriously his voice knows no bounds and i can’t help but melt when i hear it

16. Favorite Female Vocalist:

- seola of wjsn; so i’m just saying now i don’t know much about wjsn but this girl. her vocals. yes? after her song with kihyun came out i fell in love with her vocals from then

- sunmi; i love my supportive queen, she’s great and beautiful and i love all of her music, i will never fail to bop to heroine at any time of day just because i love her that much like yes queen

17. Favorite Male Dancer:

- ten of nct; i don’t think much needs to be said as to why ten is my favorite male dancer. he is beyond anything i’ve ever seen before and has my complete respect for his passion for dancing and it makes me want to be a better dancer just so i can be proud of myself

- yugyeom of got7; oH i WonDer WhY yUgyEoM iS heRE, seriously i love his dancing more than anything and all of his freestyle clips on instragram make me have the utmost love for him beyond what i already have for him

18. Favorite Female Dancer:

- seulgi of red velvet; i’ve watched her dancing over the years and i’m never not mesmerized by her stage presence and the way she is so detailed with how she moves

- lisa of blackpink; she’s a great dancer and i will never deny that, she’s also a great rapper and her stage presence is great especially when she’s dancing (specifically taki taki)

19. Favorite Male Rapper:

- changbin of stray kids; okay so i knew from the moment i heard hellevator that this group would be big and man did they not disappoint, changbin has one of the best rapping styles and voices i’ve ever heard in my life, his speed and his lyrics are so amazing and 3racha songs are AMAZING too like wow this man and his power over me

- jooheon of monsta x; not only has joohoney wreaked my bias list but he has absolutely one of the most unique voices i’ve ever heard, his raps are so hard hitting and i can’t ever get over them, his solo work has potential to be soty because of how talented he is

20. Favorite Female Rapper:

- jessi; okay so i actually had a few female rappers in mind by it kept going back to jessi each time, i genuinely love her voice and i LIVE for her roasts like yes, also i love all of her music? like she has great music i 10/10 recommend

- yeeun of clc; i don’t know many female rappers but yeeun has been one of my favorites for awhile now and i love her voice, it’s just so great to see how much she’s improved and i’m so proud

21. Favorite Male Choreography:

- superhuman by nct 127; so honestly this was absolutely the hardest question for me, i love dancing and i love most male choreographies so idk why i came to this decision, actually i do, superhuman is honestly a wonderful dance and i love watching it each and every single time i seen it on my recommended on youtube

- highlight by seventeen; the performance unit has so much power and stage presence that it was so hard no to choose this song, they all have such great and precise movements when they dance and it’s beautiful

22. Favorite Female Choreography:

- chase me by dreamcatcher; i love this choreography so much? seriously these girls always kill it and i really want them to grow because they really deserve it

- hobgoblin by clc; this was the first female choreography i really really wanted to learn based on the dance other than russian roulette and dumb dumb by red velvet!!

23. Favorite Male Solo Song:

- fire by sik-k; i absolutely LOVE sik-k so naturally i wanted to choose one of his songs so i went though a bunch if my favorite songs of his and settled on fire, it was a very hard choice though cause addict exists and so does iffy but still

- crooked by g-dragon; crooked has always been one of my favorites by GD it just sounds so different and his voice just makes it one of my favorites, middle fingers-up is a close second for GD

24. Favorite Female Solo Song:

- why by taeyeon; idk why i love this song so much but i just do, i also love taeyeon so much like uwu yes, but seriously i really love all of taeyeons solo music as well as snsd

- honey tea by oohyo; honey tea is one of those songs you could listen to in a cafe or on a relaxing walk with your earbuds in just taking in the crisp air. it makes me feel super calm and just in a space where i feel like everything is chill and cool

25. Favorite Non-Kpop Artist:

- luhan; by baby lulu uwu, i’m absolutely a mushy gushy soft mess for that baby, he’s so cute and kinda and his music is just?? great????? what??? i seriously did not even have a second thought about this but some honorable mentions are definitely big time rush, 5sos, kris wu, joji, etc.

- conan gray; where do i bEGin?! his songs are by far some of my favorites. not only is he a great artist, he has this way with his music that is almost melancholic in sound. it sounds so entrancing and crush culture, generation why, and lookalike are some of my favorites^^

26. Favorite Non-Kpop Song:

- imitation by luhan; remember when i said i was gush for this man? i wasn’t joking. at all. i seriously love his voice and i just UGH love him, and this song?? bop.

- honey by lay; this song has taken over my life. i have it on repeat almost every night because lay did so well. it has such a good beat and so easy to just listen to over and over (but not out loud lolol)

Top 10 Groups:

nana:

1. GOT7

2. NCT

3. Stray Kids

4. Ateez

5. Monsta X

6. Day6

7. EXO + Astro

8. Infinite

9. SF9

10. The Boyz

kun:

1. GOT7

2. NCT

3. Day6

4. Stray Kids

5. EXO

6. Astro

7. Monsta X

8. SF9

9. Ateez

10. Seventeen

Top 10 Biases:

nana:

1. Mark Tuan (GOT7)

2. Myungsoo/L (Infinite)

3. Doyoung, Donghyuck/Haechan, Jaemin, Jaehyun, Jeno, Mark, Yuta, and Taeil (NCT)

4. San (Ateez)

5. Hyunjin, Jisung, Changbin, Felix, and Chan (Stray Kids)

6. Brian/Young K (Day6) + Youngmin (ab6ix)

7. Minhyuk (Monsta X), and Hwiyoung (SF9)

8. Chanyeol, Sehun, and Baekhyun (EXO)

9. Minhyuk/Rocky (Astro)

10. Kevin, Changmin/Q, Eric, Jacob, Sunwoo and Hwall (The Boyz)

kun:

1. Yugyeom (GOT7)

2. Dowoon (Day6)

3. Seungmin & Felix (Stray Kids)

4. Jooheon (Monsta X)

5. Rowoon (SF9)

6. Kun + Mark + Johnny (NCT)

7. Yunho + Mingi (Ateez)

8. Sanha + MJ + JinJin (Astro)

9. S.Coups (Seventeen)

10. Kyungsoo/D.O + Chanyeol (EXO)

[ nana; tumblr playlist ]

[ kun; tumblr playlist ]

btw for kun i added my favorite songs by some of the artists she had listed cause i didn’t ask her and i was too lazy so i hope y’all enjoy both playlists if you want to listen to them ^^

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