#im an atheist when it comes to these personality things but damn. they be reading me for filth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ayzrules · 3 years

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✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D

Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////

This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here.

✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.

So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.

Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle).

And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao

✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘 As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo

And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.

Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.

But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?

Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.

Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well

✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒) Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???

So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).

Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.

On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.

But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.

✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.

I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!

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beigejournals · 4 years

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Season 5 Lucifer

welcome to my unsolicited thoughts about Season 5 of Lucifer.

as an avid and veteran series binger AND a talker-while-watching-a-movie-or-series-but-does-not-want-to-spoil-anything-for-my-friends type of person, i have finally dedicated a space and found a good way to let all my thoughts out as i watch a movie or series when i am alone when i can’t bother a lot of people because (1) they don’t want to be bothered and (2) i don’t want to spoil things for them.

so here are my thoughts, and of course, SPOILERS AHEAD.

BTW, i LOVED all of Lucifer! but this season was a slow burn for me.

ep1

drug scene at Lux; is Amenadiel mean now?

so is Lucifer himself in his own hell loop when he became the ruler of hell? his own guilt towards his father? idk (to be frank, i don’t remember the past episodes except for the fact that he is now back in hell)

the premise of the first episode is cute!

side note after the title card: i remember how much i loved the soundtrack for Lucifer!

Maze is still hot.

I love how Maze and Chloe’s relationship developed and how they don’t have to use words to communicate.

Amenadiel’s and the Psychologist’s house HAHAHAHA i love it.

is Charlie Jesus? His mom’s faith in front of Ella is like every mom plus every religious person ever haha

YES. ELLA. YOU. DESERVE. A. GOOD. GUY.

self-improvement is now a meme, huh?

Dan is me.

comment on drug scene: Amenadiel is still the same, haha!

Maze and the card, haha!

how was the guy in the mask face (did i just say mask face?) blurred but in the party, Los Angeles was in perfect accuracy. excuse me.

coming out of the dead: “oh sorry, that’s so gross!” LORDT HAHA

love you, Charlie! hope you don’t feel like you have to perform because your mom expects a lot from you and that’s so ironic because she’s a psychologist!

Dan’s speeches about parenting: i get it tho, parents try to love their child, sometimes, they just don’t know how

also, i think it’s the sister but Chloe’s just a softie

lol Maze is jealous that Chloe got to talk to Lucifer and trying to say that they don’t need Lucifer.

OOF MAZE.

i forgot about what happened with Eve.

GUYS THE MURDERER IS LITERALLY GOING TO ESCAPE.

the amount of projection as defense mechanism in this episode is too much it feels like it’s too on the nose.

but i do love the parallel between what’s happening on Earth and in hell.

the amount of layers in this question either it’s Lucifer’s or his or his sister’s (assuming it is his sister who was behind his murder)

ok apparently it’s not his sister.

me in law school:

sana all kaya kang mahalin na babalik from hell. kilig aq.

also, after all these years, Lucifer’s house has been so clean!!! wala man lang alikabok

if she’ll be fine without him then who tf is that?

ok i read the synopsis for the next couple of episodes. i don’t like spoilers. don’t make the same mistake.

ep2

i’m Ella when it comes to my friends’ special people HAHA

also, i love the slight lean to one side to show us that this is not the real Lucifer.

why does he have to be naked???

it’s so funny for me how they have to reestablish him. LUCIFER NEVER LIES HAHAHAHAHA yes we can remember now after you repeated it 3x.

ALSO WHY IS EVERYTHING TO ON THE NOSE. EVERY SECOND IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING. was it always like this?

Oh Michael. Nice. Was he an archer? We love the American accent.

how can Amenadiel not know that was Michael? GANON KA IDENTICAL SIZ?

we love the unnecessary car chase just to reinstate the fact that this is a crime show

that slomo with the wings!!!

also everything is so slow with this show!!! idk why but everything feels just a little bit slower (or maybe i just want lucifer and chloe to be together? idk)

gwapo ni lucifer nung nagmomol sila ni Maze pls

cringe ng elevator scene

ykw. i think it’s because i like the lucifer character that’s why i’m impatient. he hasn’t been appearing the way i want him to.

see. you don’t have to remind me so much about the show because i know he was supposed to say “what is it that you truly desire” not fear. I FEEL LIKE THIS SEASON IS DUMBING THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THE SHOW FOR SO LONG. okay sige.

either she knows it’s not him or SHE’S REALLY THAT NICE AND POWERFUL OF A HUMAN BEING.

oh i’ve been questioning whether they had sex already and this episode answered my question

CRINGE coffee scene: the spoon???

random question: are angels virgins? so is Michael a virgin?

what kind of a person would just go deep on someone else’s pocket just because they ran out of money?

knew it Maze won’t do Chloe dirty like that!

thanks Chloe. u know better than that. (full disclosure: I THOUGHT SHE WAS ACTING BADLY APPARENTLY A GOOD ACTOR CAN ACT BADLY TO PROVE A POINT?)

literally just liked it and now there’s a new secret that was said too soon.

God baka naman pwede mo ko gawing Chloe Decker char.

AH so interesting. Lucifer = Desire. Michael = Fear. Too on the nose again but that time, i needed the guidance because i am a dumbass.

God ain’t raising his children right!

ep3

yes explain everything to me it’s literally not like we have been binging this show for 2 hours straight

see, the Lucifer character is really endearing. i’m enjoying myself again hahaha. (well, i guess Lucifer when he’s with Chloe?)

can i just say that Tom Ellis was born for that role. he fits is so well that him acting as his own twin doesn’t sit well with me.

i just feel like this show was written by a psychologist who liked watching murder shows.

it’s Lucifer, Chloe!!! siya yon.

ep4

love Lucifer-Chloe tandem!

we love how the actors can sing and the show gives them a chance...

one thought: is everyone going to play a double of who they are?

also is Maze the daughter of Lucifer?

i love how they’re transcending mediums, reminds me of Community with their random episodes.

there you go, Chloe’s doing the double acting too.

Now it’s Linda. (so maybe this is the episode i was asking about earlier).

Now it’s Ella.

omg is this why i loved fleabag, it took forever for the Priest and Fleabag to finally do it? no. i just love the Priest.

Charlotte’s back! and the distance from the table shows how not okay they are. okay.

green screen while driving i love it.

now, Daniel!

we love gender fluidity? i guess. i’m not sure how you call it but i appreciate.

Lilith’s dress for the second song. OMG.

there again to make us dumb. after we just watched the whole thing happen, they retell the whole story again. damn. they think we dumb.

literally this season is making every girl kiss Chloe.

why did she blow the ring? was that her life?

what’s that song in the end?

OH that was the reason why she was retelling everything.

damn celestial beings are the worst parents.

ep5

i wanna be Dr. Linda Martin please.

i appreciate Lucifer wearing the bracelet until now. (but i expected nothing less)

i’ve always loved how people reacted to Amenadiel. he always seemed nerdy but these are times where he truly shine and im so happy.

i forgot. i think i was showering that time that Michael and Lucifer fought and theyre hella dumb. ok lets go toxic masculinity mixed with daddy issues.

i know they’re too on the nose ABOUT EVERYTHING but i do like the debate about free will and predestination

honestly i don’t know what’s Chloe’s issue is with being made by God probably just because i’m lazy and i just want to lay everything in His hands but coming from a very atheistic perspective where she comes from i kinda get it. i guess my only reasoning why i’m okay with God’s reason is with her is because of my fear of the unknown; my current fear with not knowing my true purpose. at least she got hers! what is she complaining about?

oh i get it now, but that’s why there’s free will Chloe (or idk, idk how God works; there’s currently no electricity in my house rn. i don’t get how that works even if we pay for our electricity all the time, how am I suppose to know God’s plans?)

but aren’t well created for something else? looking at a selfish perspective, maybe He created all of us just because He wanted to.

wow. literally when the nun kissed Amenadiel, the lights in our house opened up. if that ain’t God. idk who that is.

wow that’s so interesting.

“There are no shortcuts.” 🥺

he exposed himself i’m interested. what if i were the one to whom that was exposed to... how would i react?

another sample of them explaining to us WHAT WE ALREADY CAN INFER FROM THE SHOW (the conversation actually continues to dumb it down for the audience) but i get it. it’s religion and fiction built together.

oh i just cringed i almost vomited with this

also can i just share these. these are the funniest thing Chloe said on the show.

ep6

OOF what a horrifying way to start the episode (after the beach fiasco)

they’re holding us. that’s so adorable!!!

ugh. im still cringing.

yes jowa for ella yes pls. ELLA YOU SAID YOU WANT A NICE GUY!!! HE’S THERE!!! i’ll take him if you won’t!

Chloe if you don’t want Lucifer, i’ll take him too!

can i say how proud i am of Chloe and Dan’s relationship. it’s very healthy for what they are. add Lucifer and Dan to that too! we love men.

also the women in this show have bad taste in men. (except for who Linda married, i guess)

we love the seasonal girl’s night!

that whole charlie thing being amused by lucifer’s devil face is the best bit

was it Michael calling? and oh noooo ;(

FUCKEN MICHAEL

ngl i could have waited for another season for them to have sex on season 6 episode 6 but sure have it at season 5.

ep7

we love a person who wakes up and is not pretty. princess anna who? (i mean she is wearing full on make up, but we’re okay with that snore)

Deckerstar!! they made a word for it

our mojo??? does it only work on lucifer or does it work when she does it to others as well, we shall find out.

oh no! Lucifer’s isn’t working at all HAHAHAHA

it’s currently 2:19 AM. i am tired and sleepy.

Dan talking to Charlotte 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Fucking Michael

oh he emphasized archangel Michael. with my limited knowledge being raised Catholic, i was going to ask earlier if he was an archer because he had crooked shoulders. AND I JUST CHECKED. ARCHANGEL MEANS HIGH RANKING ANGEL NOT AN ANGEL WHO’S A FUCKING ARCHER. me being raised Cathlolic means nothing. HAHAHH

now i’m realizing if i see an angel, maybe i won’t be in the situation where i’ll see Amenadiel but Michael

NO NO NO AMENADIEL

i love this HAHAHAHAHA

knew it. called it! worked on lucifer ONLY. HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE THAT MADE FOR EACH OTHER. LORD BAKA NAMAN.

i’m ella shipping them.

THEYRE SPEAKING TAGALOG HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

what song was that? “When it hurts, just to breathe” same

The Shining reference no thank you pls

NAAAH i really can’t do horror things especially not with things i truly fear and when i don’t have a curtain on. No thanks.

14:54 and i’m watching again open the lights bro, it’s easier to find clues that way also i do get that they’re closing it to ensure that the killer is not there but theyre also moving like the killer is not there anyway so better open up the lights! tho i really know nothing about crime solving (i just typed crime solving instead of solving crimes didn’t i)

we stan ella’s healthy relationship!!!

can i just say there was a time where i can’t even say serial killer out loud so this is really hard for me to watch alone

i know that he’s vulnerable around the detective. BUT SHE SAID HE CHOSE TO BE SO BY NOW HE SHOULDN’T BE AFFECTED BY WHAT HE DID.

Fucken Michael.

ep8

how attractive can you be that even in slow motion, you look great.

oh apparently he did not die.

ALSO OO NGA CHLOE. US2 MO SIYA MAMATAY TEH.

CHLOE THE OVERTHINKER but i get it. BUT STILL.

you know that montage of people just studying and it’s now happening to chloe trying to solve a crime. that’s my cinematography goal HAHAHA. it’s been awhile since i’ve been invested in studying like that.

Lucifer can be just so immature some times

is KillShare based off of SkillShare?

also i’m thinking that Chloe was either taken by Michael or Dan or the SK.

that ring of Lucifer on Maze is probably the longest ring someone has waited for.

i love Maze’s eye make up! ALL THE TIME!

if the lady here is not detective and they’re relieved. that’s just fucked up, man. they were slightly relieved. that’s good acting HAHAHAHAHA.

I’M JUST PRAYING TO GOD THAT PETE REALLY IS A GOOD GUY AND NOT THE SERIAL KILLER COZ I CAN’T HATE THAT GUY PLEASE. the key and the research!!! WTF. stop trying to be smart, show!!!

his mojo is back, does that mean Chloe is gone? 😢

OH AFTER THE TAPES, I THINK IT IS THE BOYFRIEND. DAMN SHE’S REALLY INTO BAD MEN, ISN’T SHE?

I’M SO SCARED. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.

THE FLOWERS ARE FRIGGIN KILLING ME.

kamukha niya pa si Penn Badgley, nice.

DOES HE GENUINELY LIKE HER OR IS THE KISS TO THROW HER OFF GUARD.

AH NO. i think he genuinely likes her. except that she... you know found that he’s a fucking murderer

HAHAHA PETE

right??? why does this show have to say everything out loud like don’t already know.

oh he just used her but then he liked her. idk. the way he speaks too, so nonchalant.

preach, ELLA!!!! shout out to those who had crappy childhoods and are not serial killers! that’s the bare minimum i guess.

go, Ella!!! know your worth!

lol made me love Pete, he’s funny.

ok my assumptions were right-ish.

HAHAHA, his american accent.

his choosing to be bot vulnerable around her anymore, Michael, i think is a way of him staying alive for Chloe but ofc Chloe will think that Lucifer would rather have his vulnerability than to be with her.

baka di lang love language ni Lucifer words of affirmation, okay! HE SAVED HER LIFE SO MANY TIMES AND NOW SHE’S DOUBTING BECAUSE HE HASN’T SAID I LOVE YOU YET??? SIZ. HE LITERALLY LEFT HELL FOR YOU.

MICHAEL STOP. Michael the shit stirrer. we all have that one friend.

awa me kay Maze. she’s like a lost dog throughout the show.

does Michael want to be God?

skipped thru the speech. cringe.

what’s Amenadiel’s problem with his child having a normal cold? what’s wrong if he’s a mere mortal?

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHO’W SO INSECURE. i get so annoyed every time Chloe’s mad that Lucifer doesn’t get what he wants

it’s just that i resonate with Lucifer. it’s hard for me to say i love you and now i think Amenadiel stopped time.

oh. i thought Amenadiel’s fears about Charlie being mortal was superficial, i just realized that he was afraid that his child was going to die. but, he can take him to heaven like what he did with Charlotte, right?

oh Michael.

MAZE! MICHAEL IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!! you’re fine! i don’t have a soul either.

celestial beings and their daddy issues and inability to communicate with one another and the desire to fight it out as if that’s the solution

HOTTEST BROTHERS EVER DAMN.

itong si God ngayon lang magpapakita anuna siz.

WHY ISN’T HE PLAYED BY MORGAN FREEMAN BUT OK.

CLIFFHANGER!!! IM MAD.

ep 8 should have been called blueballz tbh

#beigedrafts #lucifer #spoilers

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coldasyou · 5 years

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Hello and welcome to my thoughts ™ on the new episode of the good doctor! I know you are all DYING to hear them so let’s go.

We love an opening that references season 1 episodes! (Added to my gif list)

Is lea implying her family was poor ugh icon

Poor Shaun he deserves better

Claire and Shaun aren’t together I really can never win

I’m screaming grey’s anatomy really took all the good paitent storylines rip

MORGAN NO ASKING QUESTIONS TO THE PAITENTS SHAUN GOT TRANSFERED FOR THAT SHIT!

Killed someone this show has lost it

Ugh skip

They’re really just throwing out brain scans as if those doesn’t cost thousands of dollars paitents can’t afford that

The scalpel is back THE LEVELS the show said if we’re going back to season 1 storylines we’re doing it all…does this mean Shaun and Claire can act like they did in season 1 and actually talk?

CARLYYYYYYY fucking finally this really is a season one throwback and we get a last name

She is so sweet

And she is talking to Shaun can Claire come hang out too

Me too Shaun me too

Ugh this is why I’m a humanities person

IM SCREAMING leave Claire the fuck alone

Morgan was so quick to be like “SO YOU HATE EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IN GOD HMMM” breznik feelings canceled until they have a cute glance again

I’m already annoyed with this plotline

Claire is talking to ******** more than she talked to Shaun last episode shaire stans remain the MOST oppressed

WHY DOES EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW HAVE CANCER???

Can I call Claire an atheist icon now? If they make her change her beliefs I’m gonna be annoyed lmao. I think there can be some middle ground here y’all

I relate to all this Catholic Guilt ™ tho

Park needs to stop acting like he gives a shit lmao

Park stop fucking stirring the pot since when did YOU care

Ugh it’s hard only stanning four ppl on this show

Can someone PLS just threaten to sue Han or leak this to the press lmao problem solved you’re welcome

How iconic would it be if lim was just like “I’m autistic. Are you going to transfer me too?”…LISTEN SHE IS AUTISTIC

I was right Claire looks beautiful

How can you afford all these surgeries I’m yelling

Who is being poisoned with cyanide I’m screaming can we pls have a show abt pathology and Carly and not these boring ass plots we’ve been getting

NEXT TIME I love one (1) man

CLAIRE YESSS FIGHT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

She deserves better I’m tired of everyone talking down to her

SHE IS A LOYAL FRIEND AND ALSO GIRLFRIEND AND ALSO WIFE

I’m screaming can we pls have her go talk to Shaun abt all this and promise she’ll fight for him or is that to much to ask

The ableism is jumping out

IM SCREAMING DID YALL JUST COMPARE AUTISM TO THE FLU???

Han is why men don’t have rights

Claire is the queen of being right while everyone else is dumb af

Oh this lady damn everyone is coming back this episode!

Glassman she’s dating someone why are you so Dense

Is this gonna be like a Brennan from bones situation where everyone keeps pushing religion on Claire when she doesn’t want it I’m already tired

And another thing she just thinks he shouldn’t suffer for god she never said she didn’t think he should believe

But enjoy projecting your shit on her Morgan!

Lim is the only bitch in this house I respect

Honestly probably not bc Claire isn’t allowed to have anything either!

So we got Shaun talking abt Claire but in this way WHYYYYY

just let them be happy together I hate this

Clarie’s hair looks amazing

Claire is a hockey fan…the gay jumped out

What is Shaun doing I stan it tho

Oh NOW glassman will talk to him

Well I mean Shaun has been right abt like 90 other cases

Glassy you’re so fucking annoying remember when you were all abt helping Shaun lmao

HE HAS STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF AND THEN HE GETS IN TROUBLE YALL ARE TESTING ME

Shaun is so honest ixhxjsuswhhaa

Oh the loophole Jessica taught him well

Shaun that’s like…probably illegal but that’s okay

I wonder when the whole quarantine issue is gonna go down

Shaun yess now bring out those illustrations

Han is just gonna steal his idea pretends to be shocked

God these episodes kinda drag when you aren’t live-blogging and reading jokes

I know they’re married irl but she looks so young compared to him

Yeah lady he always pushes ppl away get used to it

Anyone else feel glassman has become intolerable this season?

Claire is so smart queen of religious studies

Okay this show isn’t going the route of Claire being converted or singled out as a bitch or bitter…we will proceed cautiously

Morgan is so fucking nosey you are loosing all the goodwill I gave you

Also just say atheist I’m screaming???

Ofc bc everyone who doesn’t believe in god is broken and empty and secretly hates themselves LOVE that for me!

I’m screaming the girl is like Oh Worm

Han is so annoying get a JOB

King of boundaries!

Are y’all gonna start shipping lim and Shaun now bc I’m not ready

Good work I’m still not gonna put u back in surgery tho

He’s so close to crying I’m abt to mcfucking loose it

Freddie is coming for the Emmy

Kinda wanna d*e

HAN JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP IM BEGGING!

Allistics have lost their rights

Wow it’s almost like everyone has weaknesses including you doctor Han and yet you’re still here

Can a show just have a charecter that’s not religious it doesn’t have to be like a THING I’m tired

Oof the cinnamon tography

SCALPEL I’m gonna cry can we get a flashback now?

Steve didn’t die for this

overall Thots: han can choke, needs more shaire, when will lea be allowed to talk to someone who isn’t shaun or glassy, claire deserves better, carly should have her own show, morgan is on the shit list again, park is still irrelevant…6/10

#the good doctor #the good doctor spoilers #long post #tgd lb

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squiddoodle · 5 years

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@lezzyharpy.....you blocked me but i’m going to reply cause your apprently 26..... And I can’t not address this cause fuck my brain.

-good fucking g-d how the fuck do you take “you cant claime to defend us while simultaneously mocking our beliefs” as a challenge. how are you misreading shit this badly - um well that’s not all of what you said. Like i’ve never heard an atheist say religious beliefs are children’s stories but I have heard them say they are fiction, comforting stories, fairytales/ myths... but anyone who thinks all religous stories are kiddish....really lets their kids read some violent stuff. And you claim believing that makes us antisemitic. Your saying not agreeing with you and thinking what your doing is a waste of time so personally want none of it , and not just you but all religion but “you do you” is insulting and mocking you!? You’re claiming that is being antisemic. There’s a huge diffrance between “ fine soccer a boring, pointless waste of my time and I have no interest in it and this is why but I can see you enjoy it and get fafillment out of it so go ahead i’ll cheer for you and be happy for you” vs “I hate everyone who plays soccer I think their the devil and we should ban soccer and beat up soccer fans. I think soccer is a illness. I think they are disgusting and not like us/ i’m going to sit back and let other people say and do that to soccer and soccer fans.” Also your acting like we think we’re better than you because we don’t belive in it.....largely....no... we are just AWARE we have unprovable things we like to belive that make us feel better and we know we could be wrong about everything we think we know, we are open to being proven wrong on facts and scientific proof would prove us wrong ..... that is litrally the soul diffrances. I don’t judge all my religious friends just one ones who think they are better than everyone else and are “at war” with everyone not as ““Enlighten as them” because of that religion. Your mocking atheist for acting like “Ohwiseones” and yet when I was religious and not the most mockly self righteous people I’ve known have all been religious. You mock us for acting like the “o wise one Knowing better” and yet that is the bases of every damn religion! “you are the chosen none dilousional ones god has taught better than silly unbelieving fools” ....and you are litrally talking to me like your all knowing and i’m dumb filth....

( for the record what was acturlly said v)

- if we ask that you not mock our beliefs that is not….. even remotely the same thing as saying you must have the same beliefs as us-

right it shouldn’t be but your making out it is. because apprently unless we act like you know better than us or likely that myth is equal to fact or agree that spending endless hour of your time and most your thought process worshipping a god that no one can prove exist and belive that this one specific book is full of wisdom truth and sense and agree that his rules are good and he is good you know just cause “he” says so in his book , unless we agree that that sounds like a good use of anyone’s time, and is the healthiest way to deal with life and nothing bad ever comes from it and none of it is asking you to belive some really bizarre unproven things and think that there couldn’t possibly be another way, or we’re just not honest about it and never express our view point ever about anything religious, then we’re antisemites ......that’s how the logic your putting here comes across.

-how are you this fucking dense - ... litrally insulting me... but ok: Or maybe apprently you don’t know what you’re implying?

are you really gonna ask how you were insulting while you compared us to dogs? -

.......ok first off you know that’s a well known saying/metaphor right? If I said “you’re look a gift horse in the mouth” you haven’t litrally done that ether and your gift is not litrally a horse or being compared to one. Second I “compared” us both to dogs...and i’m not a Jew....I was also a dog in that situation! ....or at least that’s how I was picturing it: one dog barking up the tree the other laying in the grass chilling watching out....a metaphor is not me acturlly saying we are dogs🤦‍♀️.....do you not understand sayings? ok without the saying, what I was saying is: from where I am stood I think your using a lot of time on effort on somthing that’s not real and to me it seems a bit silly but i respect that it makes sense to you, so long as no one really gets hurt, I’m not going to judge you or stop you, i’m just going to mind my own business but be ready to go after anyone who does judge you or try to stop you......so yeah that really wasn’t a insult but apprently you want to stretch for them so...

- and yea i brought up jews specifically cuz im jewish you dipshit, and as for your “oh woe is me how could i have possibly known”…

your reading comprehension is fucking pathetic-

ok first off again the only one throwing insults here is you, the only one calling an actual person names is again you. The only one not trying to understand the other persons point of view or why they said somthing is you. Second you listed “Jews, Muslims and minority faiths” and then use “our”..... grammatically that means yeah you’re likely at least one of those, but it doesn’t specify which. Also I wasn’t ...“woe is me”...ing... i really don’t know where you got that level of drama and victim playing from. I just didn’t want to assume, I had figured you probally where Jew but you could just be a Muslim who cared more about Jews them themselves, or another majority faith, 🤷‍♀️ Hell you could even be a troll pretending to be a Jew, I litrally don’t know you so I have no idea who you really are and have to take your word on stuff just like you do me. And you didn’t fully clarify so I didn’t just assume. And all i’m saying is funny how quickly your dropped your “defence” of Muslims and other faiths and how your not answering my questions about how you view other faiths and beliefs.

-take a fucking step back, reread the original post, and consider what it is about a jew asking that people not mock our beliefs while claiming to support us that made you feel so fucking targeted, and while youre at it, question why you think a call to not mock our beliefs is a call that everyone must hold our beliefs. if you wanna talk about projection youve got some serious fucking introspection to do first-

here’s the thing, it wasn’t that part, alone, as you are declaring it now. Cause by the rest of what you said i’m pretty sure your not talking about things like insulting charactures and stereotyping of Jews right? Your not talking about someone crashing a religous ceremony or mocking it, or laughing at /ripping off your religious clothing ,or Phyically trashing your book ,or visiting your temple and violating the rules or yelling their own views and how stupid everything is during the sermon, or telling you Jews are demons (or somthing not human and insulting) ,or Acturlly picking on you for being a Jew or any stuff like that? Cause yeah ok those are mocking and insulting, gross and deeply disrespectful,. That would be a horrific way to treat you and I’m not defending any of that, I would want to punch anyone who did those or alike to you. Heck I would even defend you if someone outwardly called you dumb just for believing in the possibly of a god because who fucking knows, nothing in life is 100% certain other than we here and we’ll die.

But that’s not on the lines of the exarmples you have, which to me seem very dramatised and exsadrated anyway. But by the rest of what you said i’m betting you’re talking about people saying stuff like “ i’m not gonna lie I think it’s kind of daft that you think snakes could litrally talk but if that’s what you want to do ok” or “ok I think it’s kind of silly to waste your life trying to please someone you don’t even really know is there but it’s your life” and “ you know there’s a good chance you only belive what you do cause you where brought up to” ...and those aren’t mocking you they’re disagreeing with you and expressing a diffrent point of view. They might be hard to hear but that doesn’t make them insults, it doesn’t mean that person thinks less of you! over all i, and i’m pretty sure most on the left, would never really mock you only express our own point of view of things, we might mock and insult you back if you first mock us or try to convert us and won’t take our no and reasoning for an answer, cause your being really fucking rude then. But if you say your going to the temple most of us we’ll say” ok have a nice time” and mean it! if you say you need to pray about somthing we’ll say “ok cool go ahead” and mean it!( though some might Be uncomfortable depending on context Ei if your just going to pray away cancer and not get treated), if you ask us if you can pray for us or somthing most of us will be cool with that but we’ll be honest about how we view religion too and we’re not going to agree that everything in your religion is wise, super healthy and sensible, we not going to lie and tell you we think any of it is true . We don’t think religions are true, at best to us it is a heavily myth based self written history you want to belive in, but if it brings you a sense of fulfilment then we won’t judge you we’ll support your right to belive and practise that because we all have our things like that; so please tell me what is insulting, mocking and wrong with that?! Religous people often belive i’m ether a demon tricked fool or some rebelling monster who wants to sin and deny god so I can wallow in my evilness.....now those are pretty insulting, but when religous people just think what I belive is dumb and wrong 🤷‍♀️ Cool we deeply disagree but ok. It’s not insulting, sure I might agrue why I have that view ,but they just don’t agree on my view of things. and if you find that insulting or mocking then logically you just have a problem with anyone who doesn’t 100% agree with you

-but you can do that introspection on your own, im not in the mood to continuously coddle you assholes while you stumble fecklessly through learning basic decency, so learn that shit behind a block- again the only one throwing insults or being “undecent” to anyone is you. The only one belittling here is you. And blocking helps nothing but ok i’m still going to write this reply cause your sense of logic bugs the crap out of me. Have fun thinking anyone who dosen’t think religion is truthful and pumped with wisdom is antisemic .....I really hope you get my point some day though cause thinking that way can’t feel good. i have litrally 0 hate or hosititly towards you,or any Jews for being active Jews, or your faith or your right to practise it in any land, so on, and that goes for all religions. but you can keep being mad at me cause you think people who think organised religions are largely a scam,or the old books are more myth than fact, hates you or thinks less of you and has a problem with you or your faith existing .....really don’t but 🤷‍♀️ i’ll still help you stand for your rights against those who acturlly do hate you and are hostile towards you and your right to faith.

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ehentha · 5 years

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Maldives Twitter VS Francesca Borri

Imagine getting harrassed on twitter by a bunch of people you claimed didn’t know english or have smart phones 😂

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) January 27, 2019

*smartphone 😫🔫

The Maldives is one of the most oppressive countries in the world. It has a constitution that makes the lives of non-Muslim and LGBT Maldivians illegal. This makes life incredibly difficult for any progressive Muslims that want to bring about reforms as well as saying anything against extremist sheikhs will get you labled an apostate. Progressive Muslims like @moyameehaa (Ahmed Rizwan / Rilwan) and @yaamyn (Yameen Rasheed) who have spoken out for Maldivian minorities, progressive Islam, and secularism have been taken away from us. Sheikhs are not safe either, as one of the only moderately progressive sheikhs, Afrasheem Ali, was also brutally murdered in 2012.

First they came for the bloggers, and I did not speak out Because I was not a blogger. Then they came for irreligious, and I did not speak out Because I was not laadheenee. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak for me.

— Mohamed Shuraih (@MohamedShuraih) January 27, 2019

The greatest battlefield in the war for the hearts and minds of Maldivians is the internet. Bloggers like Hilath Rasheed have been the targets of escalating campaigns of harassment and death threats. In 2012, Hilath himself barely survived his neck being slashed. This was after years of attacks against people deemed laadheenee.

Maldivian extremists have used the internet for their terror and propaganda activities. One of the earliest Maldivian extremist groups, of which Rilwan was an ex-member, called “dot” or “dotu” literally got it’s name from “dot com”. Right now there are dozens of terrorist recruitment facebook and twitter pages, telegram, whatsapp, and viber groups, and websites brainwashing Maldivians with extremist propaganda.

He made a list of “dhivehi kaafarun”. We reported his account and now he’s changed the name to “Dhivehi atheists”. But here is proof of the original name https://t.co/WvbfkKbMp1

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) June 16, 2018

Their latest efforts including making a list of Dhivehi Kaafarun (Maldivian infidels) on twitter (which twitter support refused to remove, the account is still active), and a telegram group called “MV Murtad Watch” (Maldives apostate watch). This has also not been removed despite even making the local news.

Maldivian extremists are free to spread hate on the internet. Especially if they use Dhivehi, a language that cannot be automatically translated. This means that the support staff of these platforms often don’t even know how to recognise hate and fear speech when it is written in Dhivehi.

Murtad Watch MV is still active on @telegram. They claim to not be making death threats.But they state multiple times the verdict for apostasy is death. After which they list pictures, names & personal info of alleged apostates. Calling stoning cruel is enough to get labeled one. pic.twitter.com/hqcOXAI0fb

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) January 27, 2019

murtad watch is like "these people are apostates & apostates should be killed. here are their personal info. BY THE WAY THIS IS NOT A THREAT" that's a death threat. why would police do anything? when these groups commit murder police's job has always been to cover up the murder

— 🎈Thihen Vany (@basneyheemaa) January 27, 2019

I hope I have set the scene for you. An intolerant constitution that outright bans thinking and freedom of conscience. Extremists getting away with murder, and using technology as a means of oppression in a highly connected and tech literate society while the multi-million dollar companies that run them turn a blind eye.

It’s so fucking insulting that Maldivians have to fear for their lives because of goddamn @telegram groups, but meanwhile there’s western experts writing books claiming we go gaga at the sight of an iPhone. I wish these terrorists didn’t use phones, would make our lives easier 🤬

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) January 27, 2019

#NowReading Destination Paradise - Among the jihadists of the Maldives pic.twitter.com/6y4E5BYQf5

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 21, 2019

Enter Francesca Borri with the radical insight that there is only one bookstore in Male’, all the while seeming to imply that most Maldivians don’t know English.

This book was published in 2017. It is factually incorrect. There’s only an Islamic bookstore? 🤦🏻‍♀️ This author is delusional. pic.twitter.com/ngPcG5yRhY

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 26, 2019

And that there is no local cuisine.

Page 39. “I think that the Maldives are the only country in the world where there is no local cuisine”. Okay. Now this is going too far 😡

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 26, 2019

And that Maldivians are amazed by smartphones.

Page 53. “A text arrives and my phone lights up... there’s an ooh of general amazement because it’s an iphone and no one has ever seen an iphone here”. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Seriously @francescaborri? Starting to doubt that you were even in Male’. Btw. Tweet sent from my iphone.

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 26, 2019

“While the rest of the world watched the Olympics, in the Maldives most people watched the battle of Aleppo. And rooted for al-Qaeda”. What? Which channel on medianet was the battle of Aleppo broadcasted on? pic.twitter.com/wSaOPpQKRR

— Nash (@NashNasheed) January 21, 2019

But perhaps most insulting is the fact that we’d give a damn about the Olympics when we could be watching football. Also how the heck do you reckon people cut up the “Battle of Aleppo” for broadcast television? Do you think they had an HBO style miniseries?

Hey @francescaborri what medieval technology do you think this Maldivian terrorist group used to post this to Facebook? A 🥥 ? Can you help decipher the strange language they’ve used to threaten my life? I’m sending this via economy pigeon. May it reach you safely. Pls send halp. pic.twitter.com/wNvYbd06kZ

— ‎ބ̸̤̯̍̏ު̵̩͔̬͑͝ރ̴̢̝͓̅ަ̶̜̌͊ކ̴̱̮̚ަ̶̹̱̥̽ށ̸̘͒ި̵̻̘̍̆͗❓🎈 (@Burakashi) January 27, 2019

You get the picture. A hastily strung together piece of orientalist trash that makes the situation worse for people suffering because of Maldivian extremists. The last thing progressive Muslim, non-Muslim, and LGBT Maldivians need is more misinformation out there. Especially not from someone with a savior complex.

How can you trust anything written in this book when it features so many blatant fabrications? Fabrications deliberately worded to make Maldivians sound like backwards people rife with extremism who can’t read and are technology inept.

98% of our population had internet access five years ago. We have one of the highest tech proliferation and device per capita stats in the world. This isn't lazy research, this is outright malicious https://t.co/slgUtYcoYe

— Naailu🎈 (@kudanai) January 27, 2019

Well I’ll have you know us Maldivians are backwards people who are incredibly tech literate. And we can read too, to the shock of the author who is currently at the receiving end of the wrath of Maldives twitter.

Finally in bookstores. pic.twitter.com/ujRIg867gI

— francesca borri (@francescaborri) November 13, 2018

Here are some of the funniest and most insightful tweets directed at this latest savior who thought they could turn a profit on the suffering of the global south. These are the words of Maldivians speaking about their own country. Listen to them.

Lmao loving how conservatives and liberals are uniting against the mostly false portrayal of our country by @francescaborri . Nobody can trash-talk Maldivians except us amirite? 🇲🇻

— 🎈Nora Nazeer ✨ (@NoraNazeer) January 27, 2019

When western "journalists" parachute in to a South Asian country and assume they know everything and that they are always right. A Frenchman, who did the same, told me after visiting Maldives that Borri "took a lot of liberty" when writing her book. As in, she made up stories. https://t.co/wnBPUZgoi1

— Junayd 🇲🇻 (@mjunayd) January 27, 2019

But you could see how it perpetuates an idea of Maldivians that’s quite patronizing, even to the extent of orientalism, right? I mean, I do agree that extremism is at a critical stage here, but surely that could have been said without this inaccurate depiction of the rest?

— Aryj (@Arrryj) January 27, 2019

So tell me, how did you come up with this shit? 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻 I graduated in an IGSE Cambridge examination back in 2008...from my island. Got an A in English. Even starting primary school, I had access to books from authors like Enid Blyton, R.L Stein and Louis Cooper... 🤦🏼‍♀️

— ShinyShine (@ShinyShine18) January 27, 2019

Might want search Google Maps for "bookshop" next time. This book is a blatant lie at this point. Even given the benefits of the doubt, this book falls short of acceptable. Tldr: Riddled with lies for dramatic purposes. pic.twitter.com/TXycTvAzqC

— A. A. Nawaz 🎈❓ (@aanawazu) January 27, 2019

When someone from the global north decides to do a book about one of the smallest countries in the global south without much research and one that won't easily be scrutinised for the factual inaccuracies, with sweeping generalisations, this happens. Awesome thread btw https://t.co/0TKA9KmHV4

— Ahmed Tholal🎈 (@Tholman_79) January 27, 2019

Whats an iPhone? Im tweeting on my iCoconut https://t.co/RPYxQKUFDR

— Faafa🎈 (@psychofart) January 27, 2019

Actually it’s Dhonmeeha: *whips out iPhone 6S* Mordis meeha : *whips out iPhone XS Max, iPad Pro, the New Mac book Air DJI Mavic pro, DJI Osmo and 2 GoPro Hero* https://t.co/nK3ux1I7VZ

— Simbro (@aachym) January 27, 2019

(“Dhon meehaa” literally means “fair skinned person”. It is the word used by Maldivians for “white people”. And it’s true, turn a Maldivian upside down and shake them little. The contents of an Apple Store will fall out).

the "worst parts" in the book are absolute lies. are we as maldivians not entitled to be upset over them? ignore them and move along? these are "facts" written by a "journalist" in a published book. https://t.co/2mFKGEw7hn

— ˗ˏˋ 𝑅𝒾𝒻𝑔𝒶 ˎˊ˗ (@MRifgaR) January 27, 2019

for the record i'm still a bit confused about your reviews @dbosley80 but ok. at least you made it clear that you don't recommend this book by @francescaborri pic.twitter.com/DUpatyXurX

— ˗ˏˋ 𝑅𝒾𝒻𝑔𝒶 ˎˊ˗ (@MRifgaR) January 27, 2019

Love it when white people feel the need to exaggerate and look down on an entire country and reduce their entire culture and history to what they came across in a day or two lol. pic.twitter.com/olIe8jDGoj

— Alhaaves NulaaFA (@ShafaRameez) January 27, 2019

I think the verdict of this would end up like, i condemn thee @francescaborri to 1 year of internship at Divehi Bahuge Academy 😅 so that by the time she's done there she can translate this godforsaken book to Divehi so us natives could actually learn about ourselves

— Aishath Ibahath (@AishathIbahath) January 27, 2019

Just had garudhiya, baiy, theluli faiy and theluli mas. The height of Italian cuisine!

— Junayd 🇲🇻 (@mjunayd) January 27, 2019

In Maldives we have no local cuisine to the point that when we attempted to make that shit, we sucked so much that we left it to cook for days and that is how we had rihaakuru and now we just eat that

— thikujja stan account (@ahunafu) January 27, 2019

If @francescaborri did her research properly she'd know about the dissent against extremists from Maldivians. Specially in our twitter community. I for one didn't applaud them as heroes. https://t.co/358lReKjMq

— 🎈Nora Nazeer ✨ (@NoraNazeer) January 27, 2019

At the end of the picture that sentence, is that saying the minority that speak English is rich and WHITE????

— Sharlight❓🎈 (@sjaufar) January 27, 2019

Shame these important interviews are in an a book with so many lies in it @francescaborri https://t.co/GeHpH5BU0m

— amani naseem 🎈 (@amaninaseem) January 27, 2019

Francesca Borri Vaguthu 🤝 Jaanalizam

— Threefish 🎈❓ (@three3fish) January 27, 2019

(vaguthu [“time” lol] is a Maldivian tabloid rag that primarily posts moral panic inducing “journalism” about Maldivian minorities).

Maldives has no local cuisine?!? I wasn't bothered when the author called us all extremists cause that's just typical white people racist fear mongering but NO LOCAL CUISINE?? Ive half a mind to make a thread about local cuisine & tag the author in it. https://t.co/QrpE3QPBcP

— Faafa🎈 (@psychofart) January 27, 2019

just because I am so offended I am going to write my whole masters thesis on Maldivian food

— Malsa Maaz (@malsamaaz) January 27, 2019

So fiction writers, here's a heads up. @7StoriesPress are very fond of fiction, specially investigative parody works. Ask franny @francescaborri she had the easiest of rides with that "Maldives in a Parallel Universe" work she did.

— Naif Naeem (@nAAYf) January 27, 2019

People like @francescaborri is what is wrong in the literary world, creating fake news with half truths to earn a buck. And also publishers, bookstores etc who support to push this garbage onto mainstream. Shame. https://t.co/Vi53939fLG

— p3st (@p3st) January 27, 2019

I read what was available on google because I’m not going to give a racist money - and yes, @francescaborri you’re racist.

— くたばれ🎈 (@hoshiyoshii) January 27, 2019

I’m tweeting from my iphone while I’m eating ‘Rihaakuru ‘ u know.., local cuisine. 😎 After finishing my food, I’m going to the ‘book store’ next to my house with English Arabic n international language books. 🖕🏼that’s for u 😉

— Jen (@jennasym) January 27, 2019

Hello uncultured jihadi Maldivians without bookstores tweeting using rocks and smoke signals or whatever, If you have a moment, please do send a messenger pigeon with your thoughts about @francescaborri’s book to google DOT com review What’s what? Click https://t.co/822PDLTTgR https://t.co/uR1UpoAFkm

— insaan🎈❔ (@pikomonster) January 27, 2019

people are saying @francescaborri makes sense despite exaggerating some stuff. but i think her “exaggerations” demonstrate an extremely skewed, clearly orientalist perspective which entirely rescinds her entire narrative. she lacks any coherent context. what a silly woman

— xiena saeed 🎈 (@dorinbakedbeans) January 27, 2019

Thanks @francescaborri. The roasting you're receiving is really entertaining. The tweets coming from iPhones are especially tasty. Almost as tasty as our cuisine, and now I'm craving some rihaakuru dhiya. Ta Ta, gonna go have some while I keep up with this roasting.

— Nomura-sama has slain Nabith (@nabithahmed) January 27, 2019

What an ignorant writer @francescaborri is! Our school system is based on the English language since decades ago—almost every Maldivian can converse in English. Many physical+online bookstores in Male. I own an iPhone. Tweet at me and I will send you recipe for Rihaakuru Dhiya https://t.co/TA773n5PgQ

— Maahil🌺❤️🍃 (@MaahilMohamed) January 27, 2019

How long was the research period to write this book? 😂 #localtweetingfromiphone

— Azza Rushdy (@UGLY_Y) January 27, 2019

Its from a parallel dimension...on Earth 51, maldives is like that 🤪 tuna has run out of the oceans and no more rihaakuru and palms sold to dubai hence no coconut for mashuni...

— p3st (@p3st) January 27, 2019

Your portrayal of maldives as backwards and having little or no indentity of its own (except the one you try so hard to force on your readers) is proof that you wrote this on hearsay and some internet research done whilst sitting on your ass at home.

— Ahusan (aka.Jack / Pusheen) (@awhosun) January 27, 2019

Hi @francescaborri, there are about 4 main bookstores with multiple outlets in Malé and many independent ones that stock many titles in English. This tweet was kindly translated to English by a member of the minority and sent from my garudhiya baiythashi. https://t.co/iSloEziYl1

— 🌞 (@izznzz) January 27, 2019

According to the author Maldives is the only country in the world with no local cuisine. So @francescaborri should I stop researching for my PhD on, guess what, LOCAL MALDIVIAN CUISINE? Shameful. https://t.co/7gntvUeCeV

— Mo S. (@moshen81) January 27, 2019

We have many qualified people capable of producing an accurate assessment of radicalisation in Raajje that @francescaborri so spectacularly failed at. If one good thing comes of this, can it be that? Or is it only the dhon meehaa who can talk abt it w/out fearing for their lives?

— Azka (@Azka__Anees) January 27, 2019

Nothing brings Maldivians together like a good roast.

Thank you @francescaborri. It's really nice to see you get roasted by a whole country, everyone together.

— Emaz (@emaaaz) January 27, 2019

#twitter

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cinemasource2020 · 4 years

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WOKE

Only in today's climate you can be insulted in the most polite way for not being a bigot in any sense of the word. Let me explain my background a little before I explain my complaints on being called "woke"

My name is Steven, I'm 30 years old, I am married and have two young boys. My father was white and my mother was Spanish and black. I have two older sisters and we grew up in the inner city in what most would call a "primarily Spanish" household. I have family members who are gay, bi and trans and some who are homophobic. I have cousins who are puerto rican, black and Asian and I have some who are damn near racist if not completely. My grandmother went to church every Sunday while having children who are atheist. My main point being I come from a huge family with alot of different point of views. Some I understand and some I dont.

Now that you have a little information about me I hope you can understand my opinion and my point of view on things and how I'm able to hear the other side of a situation even when I don't agree with anything that is being said.

Growing up I was taught when someone is doing somthing racist, sexist or homophobic you stand up and speak on it. It wasn't called being woke it was just called not being an asshole. A pretty simple concept that wasn't hard to comprehend. 1, im not superior to anyone when it comes to ethnicity, religion, sex or sexual orientation and 2, think before you speak. That's it, that's all I needed to learn to know. No after school training or anything special, just was told 1 time and figured it out. So when i read somthing degrading someone for being different I sometimes decide to throw in my two cents in which usually get me labeled "woke" or a "radical" who aims to push "cancel culture on to everything and everyone". Guess what, im not. I just believe in a word called "accountability" I also believe you have the freedom of speech but you dont have the freedom from the backlash you create. I also believe if I dont agree with a companies ethics I have the right not to support them any longer with my money because I have the freedom to do so.

I think my main problem with "woke" is that you could of came up with something way more harmful to say i mean it's a contradiction that supports my view because if I'm "woke" your implying that your not and when someone uses the saying "you got to wake up" they're saying "you can't be this stupid and ignorant". If your using "woke" sarcastically is equivalent to saying "hey go and be aware of social injustices and be on the look out for systematic racism" sarcastically. both don't even sound right saying.

These problems aren't new and have always been represented in media, from NWA's F*** The Police to Public Enemy's Fight The Power or from movies like Do The Right Thing to A Bronx Tale. The only changes has been the now equal playing field known as social media. Being called a "social justice warrior" means you believe in crazy things like women are equal to men and should be paid as such, that profiling based on a person's race is a inhumane and shouldn't be done or that people in the LGBTQ community should have the same rights as me. (This is sarcasm).

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theworldaccordingtodee · 7 years

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For My New Followers

Hey y'all! I feel like need to make this post because I’ve gained a lot of new followers due to a very unfortunate situation, but I appreciate the love though.

So, welcome to my Tumblr.

A little bit about me: 1. I’m 26 2. Im a Black Woman, in case y'all didn’t know 3. Yes that’s a real photo of me as my avi 4. So I’m queer but I identify as straight for reasons. No I’ve never dated a girl (unless you count all those times when I was a kid that I ‘experimented’ with girls and guys-shh don’t tell my parents, well not my dad anyways 😂). I don’t really tell people that I’m queer in real life because one it’s not everyone’s business and two, I haven’t learned how to make that work with my spirituality/faith/religion. Speaking of… 5. I’m a Christian, well sorta. No, I am a Christian my faith in God/Jesus is VERY important to me. I’m very anti Christain church though, it’s problematic AF and I don’t think Jesus would be happy with it. If you’re an atheist, that’s cool, I’ve contemplated that a time or two. I don’t really post a lot about my faith here on tumblr, I just choose to let my light shine and let the big guy upstairs do the rest. So no worrries about random “do you know Jesus as your lord and savior” posts from me…I actually hate that shit 😂😂😂 6. Im from the south, Alabama to be exact; don’t judge me y'all I’m not a stupid hicktown hillbilly I promise. I actually detest like 98% of the things about my state but, I’m sticking around cause somebody’s gotta try and make this shitty place better right? 7. In reference to no. 5, my dad’s a minister, so'a my grandad and so was my great uncle, my great great grandad; I’ve even got an aunt who’s a pastor. My mom has a bachelor’s degree in Christain education, so I might chime in on biblical shit from time to time 🤷🏾‍♀️ 8. Per Myers Briggs-I’m an INTF,INFJ and one time I tested as an INFP. I think, I think a whole lot and I’m super introverted, but I’m passionate about a lot of shit. 9. I just got my bachelor’s degree in Sociology after an 8 year (yes it took me 8 years and not cause I was dumb; life kept fucking happening) struggle. I’m in the process of applying for Grad school at both USC (master’s of social work) and Northwestern (MA in Public Policy and Public Admin) Im doing it online and I plan to start in January

That’s enough personal stuff.

Let’s get to the technical stuff: My blog is a hodgepodge of shit, literally. I’m terrible at tagging so if you’re a stickler about tags, I apologize in advance.

My blog started out as Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice (that was my first fandom-good times), now it’s like 90% Once Upon a Time. I consider myself a multi shippper, prior to that thing I don’t wanna talk about I was a super hard Outlaw Queen shipper, I also like Dragon Queen and Dragon Outlaw Queen. I sorta ship Swan Queen but it’s complicated. I don’t like Emma or JMo but I do think there’s something there between them. I haven’t ventured off much into SQ fics because I’m a stickler about reading, but if anybody has suggestions I’m up for it. I blog a lot of Lana Parrilla things, I will almost fight you if you come for her in any way. The same applies to all of the new WOC. I stick up for WOC, period point blank. A lot of stuff posts from my Instagram (@thewrldacctodee) to here and most of my IG posts are of the kiddos I’m a nanny to, especially the little girl Bailey, she’s almost 2 and is a total sweetheart…sometimes 😂 I Reblog a lot of pictures of Black people, my favorite singer Aaliyah, I’ll occasionally blog some Grey’s Stuff, mostly Addison Montgomery and Mark Sloan. I also Reblog political stuff (I don’t like Cheeto Satan, aka Trump) and other social issues.

I do random text posts about shit that annoys me, shit happening in fandom, which I have a tag for #WhenPeopleInFandomSayFuckShitThings sometimes I tag it as #WhenPeopleInFandomDoFuckShitThings or the General #OUATFanfomFuckery.

I Reblog from a LOT of people from all over fandom so that might be a problem, but these people are all my friends in some capacity. Don’t mess with them, and don’t try and sway me into not talking to them. I like to allow people their own room to fuck up with me and deal with the aftermath.

Uhh…damn this is long 😂😂😂

I think that’s all you guys need to know.

My ask box and inbox are always open, I try and be like Switzerland in most instances. I’m all about being cool and shit, ya dig?

Hope y'all mofo’s enjoy my blog! ✌🏾❤️

#A Little Welcome Thingy

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kendrixtermina · 7 years

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My Abuser’s been convicted

He’s not going to jail, though he did get a sentence on probation. But he’ll have to spent years working on a remore Island to pay off the fines & debts. It’s as if he were going to jail.

If weren’t if it was just this, like, he didn’t get convicted for the actual abuse but more a peripheral consequence thereof that came back to bite him.

My emotions are kind of in a twist over this & how this fits into the moving on with my life.

TRIGGER WARNING

The Backstory

He’s not being convicted for abuse - indeed, the best thing I can say about him is that he never broke a law. Never left any bruises, never did outright improper touching, kept me fed & provided with material possesions adequate to our overall living standards... and treated all this like it was something he deserved a badge for, or a horrible undue burden I had imposed on him.

He had so little of a personal connection to him, most of what I know about his life I puzzled together from his few non-horrible relatives and what my mom was told. I never knew he played chess though I took an interest in it in third grade which came to an end over a soul-crushing experience. I didn’t know where he was in the birth order ( Second Born - Which makes some things about how my brother and I were treated and even named very creepy) I only recently found out that his father cheated with & eventually remarried a woman my father’s own age. There’s another thing I can’t disclose for ethical reasons, but, he kept humiliating me in situations related to my mathematics grades till he squeezed all joy out of the subject for me and in the context of what I know it proves that he just never had the slightest shred of empathy for me.

Well, a parent is supposed to protect their children from their own bad experiences. Not recreate them out of sadism and jealousy. Heck, Im pretty sure he only f***d my mother to breed smart children that would perform well academically, never stopping about how his family is all academics, alternating between calling me stupid & inept, a lazy waste of talent or a person who was “smart but heartless”. I’m nothin but an object to him. He has:

Threatened that my mom would kill herself if I don’t do his bidding.

He’s forcibly grabbed me and showed his hand into the cleavage of my dress to supposedly show off to my mother how innapropriate the dress was.

Expected me to hug & comfort him after spats with my mother. What am I his girlfriend?

He’s reacted to me being bullied (and once even coerced into undressing by bullies!) by blaming and mocking me. I can still hear him calling me a clown, an embarassment and a “Make-Me-Laugh-Thing” and going on on how I basically couldn’t expect anything else

He called me a “rotten pile of nazi entrails” at age 11 for being unhappy enough to consider running away

He pushed me toward hobbies he liked & then tried to push the same ones onto one of my sisters, essentially “replacing” me post puberty.

He’s continued to threaten to leave us & replace us with adopted children because we’re supposedly such “ingrates”

. If you cry in front of him, he’d accuse you of “threatre”.

I’ve heard my mother cry about how his eyes would never sparkle as much for anything related to his family as they did for his job, how she knew he didn’t love her, was afraid he’d leave her without money & only valued her as a baby factory. He tried to push her into adoption & terrorized her children to pressure her. I’ve come home to constant arguments and objects being thrown around.

When I graduate from highschool a year ahead, he say there was “nothing to celebrate” because it wasn’t all As & proceeded to humiliate me in front of my siblings.

He would frequently tell lies about me to my family (Sometimes I have nightmares about this)

He’s been known to throw me me into walls as a teenager

Once, while he did that, my head very narrowly missed a hard metal radiator. that night, I crept into bed with my mother at the age of 14 because I was so terrified he’d KILL me. Now I know that he never would have, but he kept going on about how everything was dangerous & filled our heads with fear & how we’d kill our siblings if they as much as bumped into hard objects and he said that exact same thing over and over again, “Careful with hitting your heads”.

I was kept locked & isolated from other children & forbidden from leaving the house or going on school trips/ sllepovers until age 11

Blame me for everything that went wrong in the family (including one time one of my sisters - then a toddler! - gave herself a second degree burn. )

Destroyed my favorite toys to terrorize me, repeatedly threatened to kick me out or destroy my computer with all my writing on it

Never read anything I wrote, called it “satanic” and that it was “all lies” because I “knew nothing about people”. Repeatedly shamed me for my introversion & used it against me

called me ugly, crazy, fat, selfish, inept, stupid, a tool, immoral... anything in the book. After a while he noticed that “inept”, “selfish”, “pointlessly rebellious” and “easy to provoke”, as well as terrorizing my mom & siblings hurt the most & weaponized the shit out of it.

Said I would never get laid & how ugly and unfuckable I am. Yes my own father.

Once I DID get laid, of course... well, he didn’t use the word slut but he basically called me a slut.

Bisexuality is a phase, liberalism is a phase, atheism is a phase... I am a phase, because apparently, he gets to decide what the real me is that he supposedly “loves” despite repeatedly equating queer people with pedophiles atheists with nazis and sex out of wedlock with degeneracy.

Tried to have me institutionalized/removed from the family over bogus claims. They ran all possible tests & didn’t find anything, not that I found this out until years later... years that I basically spent resigned that I was some kind of defective mutant freak incapable of bonding with other humans and basically hating myself from ages 9 to 13. (As to how I survived and what happened at age 13, I’ll just say “Art, Sarah and the Internet” and “Neon Genesis Evangelion”, respectively)

The constant condescension, dismissiveness, mockery, and twisting of my words

Et cetera et cetera; That’s only what I’ve been unable to forget.

Think Humbert Humbert if he liked adult women & had his creepy obsession with procreation instead of youth. The exact same self-serving pretentiousness. That’s him. That’s exactly him. It’s like his throat spits acid instead of words; I used to say that if the happiert person in the room listened to him long enough, they’d end up suicidal. Or, if we go for maximum hipster, this hits the nail on the head:

But very later I have learned

To accept some friends of ridicule

My whole existance is for your amusement

And that is why I’m here with you

To take me with your eyes

Given how tumblr’s full of terrible stories of families where sibling bonds were poisoned & people wound up with depression, anxiety or CPTSD I got off pretty fucking lightly with my damn procrastination/self-motivation problem (by the way a very common result of controlling or stage parents.) that I might be kinda sorta getting a grip on. Helps that I had at least one decent Parent.

20 years I constantly felt like I was totally replaceable. The man definitely wanted his money back on me, or whatever stepford robot daughter he expected to get when he first put his filthy dick into my mom.

Every single frustration is his life (that still ended with him being a wealthy, respected Doctor, mind you) he took out on me and the others. But he hated me the most (Though he was pretty shitty to mom and Isabel, too. The others, he simply neglected. Both sucked in its own ways.)

When I was younger, all I wanted with all the inrresponsibe childish stuff I did at times was just for him to get that he HURT me, not for his sake, but my own, to prove that I EXIST have FEELINGs as more than an object basically.

I never wanted his approval or love (I rather had the opposite problem that I felt gross doing thins he might approve of) in fact I felt uneasy around him early on and my first memories of him are of him treating me capriciously and pushing me to be his mini-me. (By contrast my earliest memory of my mom involves songs and funtime in a garden and her explaining to me what a tulip is), but I guess I thought I had to “win” and prove my reality to him.

I read up on narcissistic abuse on the web, I saw an university councellor who implored me to move out, but the decision was mine, when I ascertaind my theories so to speak. I realized that it was not that I was explaining badly or failing to be stoic enough, but that he was provoking & playing sadistic games with me. I was talking to someone who was going ��lalala” and using everything I said or revealed as a weapon against me. I was just exhausting my energy there, and making my feeling catharsis & justified depending on his fucking aknowledgement. Thee’s no convincing someone who’s actively refusing to hear.

When I realized that he would rearrange reality to fit is view of being alwys right, saw in full awareness how uch he bent and warped his story to suit his whims no matter what I said, that my revenge fantasies had value of catharsis without having to be implemented in real life, that they were, in fact, wasted on him, I left.

I realized that he was the only one who treated me as worthless and how much my other relatives loved me. I found out that I am perfectly typical specimen of a somewhat uncommon but not altogether outlandish personality type.

On the occasions that we met, I did my best to ignore and avoid him, and he’d try to force me into interacting with him on the pretense of “politeness” and did the usual “Your bad for not forgiving me” shtick.

After a while, I reached the point where I could mostly forget about him and not spiral into this blood vessel popping rage every time something reminded me of him. It was nice to not be mocked or yelled at or have new things I liked spoiled by him. I actually lost a bunch of weight just from all the frustration-induced-comfort-food-binging and family-dinner-avoiding-late-night-snacking i was no longer doing. Getting rid of him must have added years to my life.I’m sure moving out added years to my life But I didn’t want to give up on the things he already spoiled & posoned with impossible expectations, so I was still living with the consequences of what he did to me every day while he wasn’t.

Sometimes he came up as a logical cause - and nothing will change that not even this new developement - even though I tried & reached a point where im bored of discussing him and just want to forget he exist/ not think about him

So what happened

Well, what happened is really fucking poetic.

You can’t come up with this shit.

Sometimes RL writes the best stories and outdoes all fiction, or perhaps fiction authors understand the human condition well enough.

Tax fraud. He’s in trouble for tax fraud. Exept, he frauded no taxes. He pushes all his paperwork, organization and finances off to his wife and has been doing so for years. Can’t even make a bank transaction, never bothered, never lived on his own. Used to call it “traditional family” and “archieving more as an unit” but what it actually is is, he does his job (which he enjoys way more than wife or children) and mom does everything else, including part of his job - not the actual doctorring, but, he ouht to have paid a secretary for everything she’d do. He’d monopolize her for hours to talk job. We had only one parent, except when he came home, then we had zero parents.

Finances, Parenting, Housekeeping, her own job... all this was done by mom. Lazy bastard never lift a finger, and everyone thinks he’s such a hard worker. He sure does he’d never shut up.

So, my mom’s sister got struck with horrible disease, going from a hard working single mother to complete invalid in a matter of months. Terrible injustice, because she was a really good person. So, at the same time, the financial crisis hits spain - no jobs or future for her daughters. no help from their father cause he was a serial deadbeat. So, what my mom did was, reevacuate them all to Germany. They have their own place now, one of my cousins is now a nurse & earning her own cash for the family, but, at first, his meant having four extra people living in our house one of which was running up huge medical bills, two girls, my aunt and my grandma, all eating, showering, needing everyday commodities...

My mom says in hindsight she should have taken a loan but what she ended up doing, perhaps carelessly, was give false numbers on her tax returns. To feed & care for her sick sister and unemployed family members/ now functionally parentless nieces, get the good education and stuff.

She blames herself a lot more than I blame her; It was kind of a “chaotic good” act IMHO, if there’s a price there’s a price I see they can’t have everybody not paying taxes, but, she did it to FEED HER FAMILY, like, people are more important than money. I believe she was justified there (or I guess that’s my chaotic neutral showing).

But - She was beating herself up over this & possibly risking the house loans & getting her husband into trouble - it was his money after all, police came & pretty much raided their house for the money, it’s a wealthy Doctor so they think he pocketed the cash for simple ol’ greed and blew it on gold chains or cocaine or something. Nope. He had no clue. (does he ever? He doesn’t know basic shit about any of us.)

That alone didn’t do it - Instead, I suspect he rather enjoyed his favorite game of playing martyr and my mom, having a conscience, was gonna take full responsibility and accept jail.

But here’s the kicker: They didn’t buy it. No one would believe that he wasn’t in on it, that he didn’t know what he was doing with his own money. They thought he was blaming his wife to save himself. That he pushed everything onto his wife to the point that he has no clue about his own finances seemed so silly they didn’t buy it. Like many times when I complained about him, his level of jerkass was believed to be too ridiculous to be true - It seemed more likely to them that my mom was simply taking one for the team. Personable, humbly pudgy lady, hardhearted slimey smartass who get lawsuits for being callous to patients before? Who’d you suspect of tax fraud? All the times I heard “Well he’s a doctor and you’re just a crazy little girl” turned upon their head.

Irony is he’d never do it. And I say that as someone who hates his guts. Same reason he’ll brag about how women dig him and the children he makes but would never actually cheat - He’s too in love with the idea of his own rightheousness. He’s too proud. It’s what his ego is built on. In contrast to his wife, he’s all about them rules wether they’re moral or not.

And, this is my suspicion because I didn’t wanna pry here, but, I guess he acted like not dumping her over this meant she’d sold him her soul, the usual “ingrate” shtick he pulls whenever he’s displeased- He must have said something outrageous and kellyanne conway levels of reality-bending -

And mom flipped. At least, she says things happened to make her spill things she’d held back long. I’m not sure if she said this or if he arrived at this on its own, but, he seemed to arrive at the conclusion that this would not have happened if he hadn’t pushed everything onto his wife & actually been there for her.

As my mom puts it, lots of stuff came together - an ex-co worker conspiring to run out of an old job, me not talking to him, the tax problem... and he couldn’t find a rationalization other than “You’re an animal and there’s a point to what everyone is saying”, and perhaps for the first time, he saw reality. She says it got through to him what he did not me, and by extension what he did wrong with everyone else. Apparently, things have been rather different since that day.

He’s actually staying out of my way. I don’t have to worry about him inviting himself to my wedding. He’ll be working at the new job he took to collect the money he owes the ministry of finance, but isn’t insisting that my family comes along. So often, he dragged us across the country for his career & took us all away from our friends, but it seems that this time, my sisters get to keep their friends & mom gets to get the new job where she holds a leading position & is well respected. She even said he’d understand if he’s missed that particular train for good.

Also when little Jana came to visit him, he seemed to actually spend time with her & organize a great & eventful holliday for her.

At least, that’s what my mom says. I’m so use to his fake promises of change, his false remorse, and his flashy gestures of ingratiating behavior - How would anyone ever know the difference for sure?

Especially the vacation for the child, he’d dne things like that before (regardless of wether the children actually enjoyed what he’d planned for them), flashy gestures to prove his “goodness”. flimsy words that “everything will be different”.

I just don’t want to engage with it personally.

But you know what makes me believe something changed? Because the person telling me this was my mom, speaking in her own voice - It’s not the dictated Voice Of God(TM), his majesty demanding that everyone accept his version of reality or accept the label of a selfish terrible person.

It’s her own perspective that I’d sometimes hear when she was angry, a perspective that’s more optimistic than mine & wants to see the good in people; She doesn’t agree with me on everything, she still thinks his deeds were the product of ineptitude rather than malice, entitlement and objectification, but, it’s not like I need her to agree with me.

The difference is still startling. That wasn’t his Paradigm or what I had experienced so far at all, looking at me leaving as a selfih capriciousthing I did to hurt them or he helping my fuckup self out and i better be grateful.

She told me instead to convey her utmost thanks to the therapist lady and that moving out was one of the best things that ever happened (!!!), that this was super strong, mature & unexpected of me(aparently she and grandma had written me off as the family spinster and liable to set myself on fire besides XD ...Fair enough, actually, there were quite some misadventures ^^°) That she thought I even looked different since then when my facial muscles weren’t all contorted in anger & more of a glow beingthere (which she attributed largely to my fiancé so far - and sure, he helped. I cannot stress the awesome enough.)

There was a total aknowledgement that I didn’t owe him shit and that the shit of the past justifies my not talking to him, no pressure, no judgement, no hope or expectation that we would ever get along, just - there were more gushy positive things that I can remember right now. I don’t wanna toot my own horn, it’s just what happened.

And I’m not sure what to do about/with it.

What now

It’s a strange feeling and I’m still processing it. I’m only now writing post though I’ve known about it for a few days. I’ve just been doing things, talking to peeps etc....

In true 5 fashion I couldn’t interact with my BF after that and took a long nighttime walk for cooling/processing (I talked to him right after that tho)

It might seem callous - but, I’m unable to feel anything other than callousness towards this person, because else I could not have survived his constant guilt tripping. The dude just activates my eight, if you pardon the typology speak.

All I feel is “Serves you right.” Serves you right for being two-faced, bit ya in the ass didn’t it?

Because, he spent all this time convincing the world he was this perfect person, and now they all believed him, and there’s no way Mr. Perfect don’t do his own taxes.

I understand that it is objectively wrong for someone to be convicted of something he didn’t do. Maybe this is a childish idea of vindictiveness or justice, but, at its heart, that’s not what it’s about. It’s just that in a way it’s a validation of my reality and that I wasn’t making him up, things I kept saying... “If you don’t wanna leave him, then let him do his own laundry for a few weeks”

It’s that it was for years like everyone thought he was perfect and I was the only one who could see his filthy side and now it’s out in the open. I hit him back. I made him understand. I got him to ignore me back/ leave me in peace. I helped my family be treated better - as a child, I had a hard time accepting that I couldn’t do that, that it wasn’t my place and that the last thing my mom needs is someone else asking her to pick sides or telling her what to do. It was a hard, humbling maturation process with ongoing slipups there to, like, detach, and leave it t me siblings & mom what was their business & none of mine and respect their choices.

I stopped caring about the other things, too, at least, when I left. I didn’t want or expect him to ever aknowledge my world, my perception or feelings. It’s kind of some of the things I wanted once but didn’t want to want anymore and even if I did, it’s all burned & charred and I’ll never be able to show that person the trust necessary for an intimate relation, not after all the lies, fake apologies that couldn’t be bought without accepting that he was right bout everything after all, and all the emotional expressions so far being used as tools to hurt & control me. I still have nothing in common with him nor any reason.

After the conversation, I felt... purged, the awknowledgement that I somehow do have power, but at the other hand, this doesn’t really change anything for me.

If he changes - great for him. Great for the family members still attached to him. But I don’t care about HIM, I have to care about me because he never did and nothing changed for me.

The scary shadow that’s embedded itself in my consciousness so much I still hear it after 2 years of avoiding the man (half of which has been spent happily engaged) may no longer have any sort of physical counterpart in reality.

So what does that mean for me? theres not a real enemy to push against. or there may or may not be it shouldn’t depend on tht. its not like i believe or need to believe in automatic karma

All in all, I have a feeling like World War II just ended and the Americans just arrived. On the one hand the bad guy were punished... not perfectly, but enough, hard enough to make them look pitiful, I’ve survived, but everything is still in ruins and irretriavably decimated.

I never want to say never because I aknowledge that it is always possible for me to learn - I thought it was unlikely I’d ever get married and even less to a man, but I said it might be possible, and now ive come across this situation and this person where it makes perfect sense and is totally worth it. If I had said “cia, doesn’t fit my profile” the moment he suggested it, I would have missed this.

Then again, I also hold that conflating 0% sure and 99% sure is one of the great errors of humanity - there is such a thing like reasonable doubt but that does not mean knowing nothing. Knowing almost everything is not knowing nothing. its just a fact of how our universe works sometimes - what is the position & impulse of an electron at any given moment? Can��t say, it’s uncertain to a measurable degree.

We can’t disprove that there isn’t a big pink sucker on the backside of pluto but we have no reason to suppose it either.

And at that level of certainty,have to say I would be unable to forgive the man or even feel anything other than hatred toward him if he wore the crown of thorns

I can’t ever trust him & emotionally reveal myself to him, too often has he twisted my words. It’s not about being obsessed with him either - there’s 7 billion peeps on this planet he’s welcome to make friends with im just not one of them. I’m generally not friends with people just for the heck of it.

I mean, I get it. Mom says she may have been too hesitant to let me go, the counselling lady said something in that direction, I might be biased as her daughter, but, actually, I think she was right in her estimate/ justified in that reluctance, like, I get it, I’m a vaguely shizoid hyperdweeb and peopling is hard for me. Even if this high grade quality snowflake relationship there’s work - as hthere always seems to be, realistically - and don’t have this natural sense for what people expect.

But though I reserve the right to declare this some premature epiphyny just in case and for personal effort, I’m... and a spent a while debating & deliberately decising the word choice here.... beginning to dare think that I might be able to like, handle that & make peace with it like I’ve made peace with my inner unapologetic snowflakey emo child back in my teens.

#emotional abuse #feelings

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automatismoateo · 5 years

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I think that I'm going to kill myself via /r/atheism

Submitted March 17, 2019 at 04:50AM by -SENDHELP- (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2TaZ1MT) I think that I'm going to kill myself

Edit for anyone reading this post: I've read some replies and calmed down. I think I'm going to be fine. Life is just shit pretty much but it'll be over soon. I'll be able to get out and I think that I can do it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

This will be a long post. I'm sorry.

I just can't do it anymore, I can't deal with them for three more years it's too fucking much. I just need to fucking say something because I'm shaking and crying and I can't do it anymore.

My parents are super bullheaded. They do what they want and never listen to people or logic. I've spent the last three years of my life learning about and saving my money that I FUCKING EARNED to build and upgrade my computer. It's the only way I can talk to my friends and it's the only way I can have any fun, because I live in southern fucking Mississippi and I have issues overheating so I can't exactly go outside very often. This computer is my whole fucking life. If I didn't have my computer, I would have nothing but a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in.

I have issues getting sick. I get sick a lot. A few weeks ago I missed over 2 weeks of school from the flu (my mom is partially antivax and this was the first year I convinced her to let me get the flu shot- it sadly didn't do well for me) and pneumonia. The school I go to gives an absurd amount of work and people will literally come into school WITH THE FLU because they can't afford to miss a day. It's that fucking wacked. At one point a third of the school had the flu, people were walking around with masks like it was China or some shit.

This was the second time I've missed a large portion of school. The first was when I spent over two weeks in a psych ward because I was going to kill myself because of my parents. This understandably means that I have a metric fucking assload of homework to do and my teachers all enter zeroes until it's all turned in. I never have time in class to make things up like tests and before and after school I have to take the bus because of my crazy ass schedule and I don't have time there either. The third quarter ended last week and I had just finished turning stuff in for the second. It's fucking insane.

SO, my wonderful logical parents had taken my computer away 99% of the time because of my "low" grades and would not accept any explanation except I'm just lazy. This means that for 18 fucking weeks now I've barely been able to talk to my friends or do fucking ANYTHING to destress or unwind.

My grades have been going up recently because I've been spending almost every waking hour and fucking breath of air doing work and emailing teachers and organizing etc. I have all As and Bs, a C and a D right now. They were thinking about letting me have more computer time because of (you'll drop your damn jaw at this) how proud they are still the initiative that I'm taking and how responsible I'm being. 30 seconds later they say the computer has to come out of my room (which I've spent hours organizing to make it fit my computer and I can have this cozy cubby that helps me relax and calm down and I've also spent money making it nicer) because IM FUCKING LAZY AND NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO HAVE A COMPUTER IN MY ROOM. what the fuck????

So all this happens and we've cooled off etc, and I've finished moving 99% of my stuff back downstairs. (I say back because just a few months ago it was downstairs for their same fake bullshit reasons) the table downstairs is too small. It won't fit everything that I need. My dad goes to the attic and gets a table out except it's so fucking short that it creates this pocket of hot air with where the wall is and my desk and it'll overheat my PC and also just looks ugly as shit and will cause way more dog hair and dirt to get in my PC.

This is where the part comes in that's got me crying and questioning if I can really keep doing this. My parents know that I'm an atheist. They're die hard Catholics. I was arguing with my parents trying to explain all of the issues that that would cause and they weren't trying to help at ALL and eventually just fucking walked out of the room and started watching Netflix. Like seriously how immature (spelling?) can they fucking be?

So I've gone in where they are to continue trying to get this fixed and we're arguing more and my dad threatened to stick my computer in a box and get rid of it. This is not okay. That computer like I said is all that I have. I have nothing else physically that matters, really. He said that and I said, knowing that it's pretty much the only thing that will make him say anything, "well then I guess I'll just sell my everlasting soul to the devil or something" (which is really fucking stupid to say but I was literally saying it to hold my "soul" hostage to make him not even think about trying to get rid of the computer)

And here it is: his reply was a snark and then, "you have no soul." This man believes in souls. He believes that everyone has a soul. He just said that I don't have a soul and he was dead fucking serious. He literally said that I'm so fucking low that I don't matter to anything. This man is supposed to be my father. Less than twenty fucking seconds later he had the AUDACITY to lecture me on being rude and not being a proper good person. I called him out on it. He did a fucking 720° in that convo and completely changed the topic fucking Sarah Huckabee Sanders style.

After that some other stuff happened and I went back and talked to my mom who was just sitting on the couch browsing Facebook without s fucking care in the world. This is how the conversation went:

Me: "You knew exactly what he meant when he said I have no soul. Exactly." Her: "well you shouldn't have been so rude." Me: "are you seriously lecturing me on being rude when he said something like that to his son and you just sat there and watched?" Her: it was unexcusable but-" I cut her off because this is the point when I start tearing up and shaking Me: "inexcusable? That was beyond inexcusable. You sitting there doing nothing while he said that was beyond inexcusable." She never replied. I left the room to go move more computer stuff.

A little bit later I looked at her and asked her for help moving a really big table. She refused and continued to browse Facebook. Less than five minutes later she asked why I wasnt helping my dad move other desk stuff (tldr after him lecturing me on English after the morality lecture I finally got him to at least help me move my desk downstairs so that I would have room to put my things on) and I replied, "Are you actually asking me why I'm not helping when less than five minutes ago you refused to help me move this table less than 10 feet?"

She scoffed and went upstairs and said to my dad "we need to talk about this." Etc.

At this point I the tears were fucking ROLLING down my face and I was barely keeping it together in the chair I sat down in and I thought to myself what the fuck would it matter if I killed myself? So here I am. Suicidal as fuck. Crying. Alone. Fuck life. No loving God created a life like this. This is a fucking living hell and I can't take it anymore.

#reddit

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latenightthxxghts · 5 years

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its 5am my loaf and youre snoring really loud :-( but theres so much on my mind that i want to tell you

these are mostly things i always acknowledge in my mind but rarely vocalize

id never tell anyone any of these things but with you, i know i can tell you everything thats on my mind. even the darkest thoughts.

meeting you was probably one of the best things that happened to me this year. i fell stupidly in love with my best friend and you broke me down (in the best way possible)

i really believe that god put you in my life to bring me back to him

a year ago, i was up all night because i didnt love myself and i saw a future without god. right now im awake because all i feel is love.

i used to tell people that im atheist. even when i rejected god in my mind and infront of others, he never left me and now i can see his plan, even if i dont have one for myself at the moment.

before this year,

i didnt see how much my dad loves me. i appreciated him, but coming home from school and living with just him and seeing how much he pours into me has been so humbling. when i first moved back home and got that damn jeep, id stay out until 3am at least once a week and never call my dad to tell him where i was.

for a guy thats probably fine but for a daughter, thats fucking terrifying. i was a horrible daughter and he wanted me to move out and even offered to pay my rent if i did.

even thought hes not a devout christian, i see gods love in the way he loves me. its endless and merciful and forgiving and i dont deserve any of it after all the mistakes ive made. its really just gods grace.

i considered myself atheist and so i thought it was completely fine to date someone non christian (i didnt even want to date a christian guy) but no matter how many excuses i made for kevin and no matter how much i tried to idealize him in my mind, god showed me it wouldnt work (in part because hes immature/an ass, but also because he doesnt know the love of god)

i learned that im really horrible at first dates because all i do is giggle bc im nervous (guys in their mid 20s find that "cute" and "refreshing"??? using direct quotes here my guy)

i finally became comfortable with my solitude for the first time in my adult life

i realized that no matter what plans i have for myself, and no matter how hard i try to make them happen, god will always find a way to shut them down if its not in his will for me

yeah im not necessarily too happy about where i am academically/professionally and every plan ive had has been obliterated or interrupted but i think thats just god doing his thing

gods love is everywhere and i see it in the way you love me and your parents characters in general.

i feel all this love flowing from every direction and it overwhelms me (in the best way) and ive learned to just accept everything that comes to me with open arms

sometimes im still afraid of how much i feel about you (ya u read that correctly)

ive loved people before i met you but ive never grown or learned so much from loving anyone before or been so afraid before

i envisioned my future with my first boyfriend and kevin (why did i do dat) but i was never so afraid of losing them to the extent that i feel it with you

maybe im emotional bc its 5am and i need sleep or bc im pmsing or maybe its really just god pouring out all this love into me because ive been crying everyday for the last week or so (heppi cri dont worry)

i dont want to see a future without you. as of right now, i cant even imagine it.

you always tell me that you dont deserve me, but i think im the undeserving one.

we've only known each other for 4/5 months and ive grown so much both personally and spiritually.

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georgiemacyo · 6 years

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Putting this here because I want to delete it from my notes already (your girl needs space in her phone), but it's too... important to be deleted for real haha

(This isnt part of the notes, just a background to the content of my notes hahahah)

I'm surrounded by a handful of friends who support my sexuality; but there are more who "likes me" but hates my community. I originally planned to leave where I am right now 2 years ago, but somehow I found myself staying - convincing myself I can help change that place. I even ran and got myself involved in political shit. Being in position, I thought I can change things - but turns out, I'm with leaders who loves god so much they think the LGBT should know their place in this world. I told them though, I didn't back down (for a while), "I'm religious. I pray to Him. He's my source of strength everyday. But I don't let scriptures rule my faith. I let what is good guide me in discerning what should be and shouldn't be. At the end of the day, it's all about how good people are. How much they can love. Because there are straight people and they're pieces of shit. Even atheists, the lgbt, and everyone else the traditional faith condemns, are better people than those who proclaim they know what God wants for all of us. I know scriptures try to tell us something, but people change - values change - interpretations change; don't tell me it's wrong for people to love the same gender just because words from millions of years ago told you so." But you know, I thought my words would hit pan for those people around me, but I saw their faces, and it looked as if they wanted me to stop talking. And I realized that I can't work properly with these people if I don't back down a little, if I just stop making a "big deal" out of all of this then we can change urgent matters for the university smoother. And so I did, I quickly added after everything I just said, "but I understand the culture here. People entered here knowing what they were getting themselves into. The majority will respect their community but in turn they should never demand for something like an "LGBT organization". In this way it's good for everyone". I hated every word that came out of my mouth from then on. It took every ounce of me to agree to everything they said afterwards. And I'm just really sorry for myself.

Maybe that's why I'm putting the note here. To remind myself, at least once I was able to stand up for myself. Some sort of consolation haha. A few months ago, I got attacked by my homophobic friend. She claims she likes gays - the guy on guy ones. She says they're great and cute and all that. But she hates all the others. But even so, I never hid my sexuality. I was open about being Pansexual, it made me feel better about myself. And I always tried to educate everyone else around me. But she always showed her dismay whenever I did so. I never stopped though, because I thought "this girl is my friend, she even loves a part of my community maybe she just needs to be educated enough so that her perception can change." But I guess she got to her limit and told me I was being a piece of shit for trying to convert her to being gay when I sent her an LGBT awareness video with a message: "watch it only if u want to! This might help you understand me more". She said I was forcing an ideology on her. That I expected her to changed overnight. She said she will never understand me. She said I was insensitive and said "what would you feel if I sent you a video about being straight". She asked for me to respect her.

I literally broke down. But I said alot too.

Note: (part of it)

You ask for the respect you never fully gave in the first place. You gave me disgusted or disapproving looks whenever sexuality would come into topic, but I shrugged it off, in hopes that our friendship would overpower that. I shrugged it off every single damn time, until it went unnoticed that it did hurt - that it felt oppressive in some sense. My messages were taken out of context, without even considering and thinking "would she really say it in this way", this isn't the first time this happened - if you thought so, then have you considered me as a friend at all? If you had your doubts, then why did you not ask me to clarify what I meant? I hope you read it again and truly understand what I meant. Because disrespecting you would be the last thing that I would ever want to do. But im sorry if you felt disrespected, but i am not sorry for trying to spread awareness. I am advocating for what I believe in not to disrespect your beliefs, but to make a point and put an end to the hatred towards my community. Homophobia is hatred. There's no ifs and buts, it is what it is. My earlier message wasn't meant to make you "gay", haha fuck that. it was an effort for me to make you understand, but i did not expect you to understand right then and there, I do know that it takes time. and no please do not put it in the context that if you were to tell me that a video you were sharing was meant to make me "straight" - it doesn't work that way. It's like saying blue lives matter is the same as black lives matter. Straight people have all the privilege our community is not given. Have you been oppressed because of your sexuality? Have you been beaten up by your mom because of who you are? Do your peers look at you as if you were making the wrong decision for being who you are? Have you ever felt the need to explain to people who you are as a person?

I do respect your belief, that man is for woman. It's a Catholic belief, and I respect that. It's within the jurisdictions of our religion, that is why being part of the community is completely outside of it - but just because it's outside of our religion it doesn't mean that it should be condemned. Mutual respect and ending hatred are what matters at the end of the day. We don't have to change each other's views, but it's more giving understanding to both parties na "Ah that's how they are and thats what they believe in, even if I don't believe it haha - cool!"

I couldn't study properly with all of these thoughts raging through my mind. I needed to fully stand up for myself at least once. But yeah now it's out, this is my last say in all of this. Good night and good luck with the rest of the semester.

End of note

But lol I'm still a piece of shit, she said sorry but blamed her actions and hurtful words entirely on her situation. That because of a loss in her family, everything just piled up inside of her and she just let it out on me by being homophobic. I don't know. Where should the line be drawn in these kind of stuff?

Ok I'll go back to studying for my exams - at least I got this out in some way.

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automatismoateo · 6 years

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I have the perfect analogy for religion/religious people who don't understand why its so hard for them to convince atheists of their arguments. via /r/atheism

Submitted May 08, 2018 at 03:15PM by SignificantLeading4 (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2KMTIk2) I have the perfect analogy for religion/religious people who don't understand why its so hard for them to convince atheists of their arguments.

This happened to me some years ago back when I was getting married. My wife and I wanted to pick out engagement rings, and decided we would pick them out together in store. Oh boy was that a mistake! A bit of advice to my fellow men: Don't ever take your wife out jewelry shopping, buy them gifts. Specifically if its for a wedding/engagement. There are two reasons for this: First the female clerks jump all over the women to try and sell them stuff. Second: Women (not just in this story) but in general, for whatever reason, just become enamored with engagement and marriage in a way men just don't.

Here is the key thing about this story: We are going to purchase these things in cash (well card but whatever.)

This story pisses me off to this day:

So we walk into this jewelry store just to look. We plan on going to three jewelery stores before making a decision. I decide against getting diamonds on my ring as I find them disgusting (ethical reasons, just look it up). My fiancée at the time agrees as we walk into the store. We come in and as soon as these women her my fiancée (now wife) say the words "Engagement ring" every single clerk not working with a client, stops, walks over, and begins more or less complimenting her, and begging her to use them as their representative.

Now I'm as far from a neck beard as it comes but it becomes increasingly clear these women are only interested in getting money out of her, and are total pieces of shit. I mean that was clear from the outset (its a business) but they are playing up her getting engaged.

Now before my "GET THE FUCK OUT" alarms are going off they pull me away from her to look at rings for me. I don't think anything of it: Shes a rational human being.

So we find me a ring, go back over to her and she tells me "Hey! I put this on a loan. What do you think of this ring?" The loan they talked her into is a sleezy, underhanded, third rate, bullshit, cost 2.5 times as much for the item, loan. We aren't rich at this point, but we aren't poor either. Neither of us have credit because we buy in cash or not at all (even our cars and our house.) I look at her "Aren't we...paying in full?"

Fiancee: "Oh well I figured we could build credit this way. We will eventually need it to buy a house."

Me: "You know that loans cost money right? That you have to pay? How much is the loan for?"

Sales clerk: "Its for the exact amount." (A lie, its for double the amount.)

Me: "So the ring costs xxxx and the loan costs exactly the same?"

Sales Clerk: "Yes."

Me: "So the total cost of the loan and ring are [figure]"

Sales Clerk: "Oh no, the loan is only 200 more."

Me (To girl friend): "Something doesn't feel right here, we should leave."

At this point my girlfriend, who hasn't read a single document shes signed because they talked her out of it and refused to let her read it (by her account later.) looks at me and says "All these people think this ring makes me look beautiful! I really love it, I want it!"

I look at her: "Yeah but something isn't right here."

At this point the sales staff begin circling around her before I can actually talk her down and complimenting her. The only sales staff left starts insulting me "You are rude! You are ruining her experience! You are just trying to mess things up!" I look at her "Yeah we don't need a loan, and you are damn straight! Im a rude asshole. So we need to get this loan undone!" The sales clerk looks at me and says "To late, she signed it." And openly makes fun of both me and her.

It was really weird. It was like she (my fiancee) couldn't hear what I was saying in the store. I'm telling her the cold hard truth that something isn't right, and these people are trying to screw her over. She won't listen. She just keeps saying things like "I love it, and this is going to help. I love you. I'm so glad we are getting married." It was seriously like she was on some kind of drug, or sleep walking. And on top of that all the women in the store treated her like she was the (I have no better word for this, so forgive me) "Alpha Woman." And my Fiancee, whom up until meeting me was over weight (For all the plebs out there /s, I lift, and I got her into lifting), and mistreated by her family, and bullied, like she was just so fucking happy for once people were treating her the way she wanted to be treated that it just put a fucking blind fold on her eyes. I can't stress enough how spell like it felt trying to tell her "this is the reality of the situation" to hear the women around her be mean to mean, compliment her, and it just erased everything I said about reality.

Well two days of me explaining to her that they used a loan shark business to get that loan, she finally looks the place up, the money is removed from her account: She. Flips. Shit. She is literally screaming in our apartment about how they 'duped her' and how upset it made her. I looked at her and said "Yeah I tried to tell you in the store." She was more upset upon realizing that they were only using her emotions to get her into that contract. Edit: I never pushed that she did something wrong. Her family wasn't ever there for her. I just said "I feel weird saying this but: Let this be a lesson that people will fuck you over if given the opportunity."

Well a call to their corporate two days later about the event got us our money back, a 15% discount on the ring, and they fired the sales clerk handling her purchasing the ring and the manager of the store, like in front of us. Turns out they were going through that loan place and pushing it really hard because the loan place was giving them kick backs for it. The come down from that was hard on her. I watched her wallow in tears for something like 2 weeks because of it.

One thing she couldn't give up was that ring. She just had to much emotion put into it. We literally bought it despite the fact that I wanted a refund and to go to a different store.

Compare that attitude to religious people: They have tons of people confirming that god is real, their faith is true. Any outsiders trying to speak about how bullshit it is get shouted down. Even if your words make the ears of the person you are talking to, they just use jargon and don't actually listen to you. Its all a convenient lie over what appears to be a hard truth. And some times even when you convince them the faith is bullshit, they just can't give up the comfort of god.

Edit: Also for anyone wondering what happened when we went back into the store to undo the loan. Every member of staff previously complimenting her was insulting both her and myself.

#reddit

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