#is because of the support people give me.
Text
A post I made a few days ago, it mainly concerns twitter and instagram but I thought I would share it here too because I only see people talking about mass deleting their insta! I got hundreds of comments on this post over instagram, so here are some clarifications:
I’m in support of Cara, I made an account too (follow me there hehe) I just find the constant panicking and fear-mongering extremely stressful and tiring. Yes, everything about this sucks, but we don't know the end of it yet. Yes, we should make more accounts! But I don't think we should fully give up on these sites so suddenly. I’ve heard that insta started implementing opt out buttons for AI in some countries, so I think we should wait and see what’s gonna happen before leaving the site completely. What they're doing is literally illegal and I just hope they'll be sued eventually.
Even if you don't want to "migrate" to Cara fully, I think you should definitely make an account! Cara is the platform we, artists have been waiting for for years now and I hope it will stick.
I want to adress a mistake I made - I said AI was a “hot trend” but I worded it badly. What I wanted to say is, I believe they will make more regulations for AI with time. But I know it’s here to stay - in Hungary, art universities, studios and ads already use AI :,)
No I don't have any problem with fetish art, yall do what you want! I said that because Cara currently doesn't allow N.S/FW on their platform.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm pretty thankful for the circle i cultivated throughout these years. i feel good about all the support i received from friends and strangers who are willing to listen to Black transfems and give us our flowers
what hurts me the most is not my reputation being dragged because i chewed up a transmisogyny-exempt person, who sure is trans, but is still better off than me, and had no business typing up tranny on her game, hurting the very group of people she intended to portray.
it hurts me because it could've been someone else. if it was another Black transfem, she would possibly not have the same resolve and firmness that i displayed. she's be demonized to the bottom pits of hell and back. and she'd probably be defenseless, because what if she didn't have a circle like the one i have?
i am very lucky. i am not budging on anything i've said throughout the entirety of this ordeal. and as an artist, i know the weight that my work can have on other people. i know there are people more disadvantaged than me, and no amount of "rudeness" towards me would equal to bad representation on my part.
feel free to reblog
629 notes
·
View notes
Text
there are a lot of headcanons about tommy becoming resentful of the time buck spends with eddie, but give me the reverse. give me eddie resentful of the time buck spends with tommy.
eddie's alone and sad with chris gone. both buck and tommy, together and individually, try to do things with him and be there for him but sometimes they actually do want to be alone together, and eddie just...can't seem to stop getting in the way. he invites himself along to stuff. he asks if he can come hang out when they're having a night at home together. he takes up their free evenings with obsessively making plans so he can avoid being alone in his house and they're just starting to get worn down.
eventually buck has to sit him down and say, eddie, my man, my dude, you're family to me, i care about you so much, so does tommy, but for the love of all that's holy please understand that sometimes i need to be alone with my boyfriend.
and eddie is embarrassed that he's been so clingy but also low-key hates that they have this relationship with each other that doesn't include him. he's happy that buck's found the love he always yearned for and deserved, but he can't stop feeling hurt and left out and there's just no way to make it better.
so what does he do? does he stay resentful and let it fester until it becomes anger and it ruins his friendship with buck?
maybe at one point he would have done that. but this time...this time he recognizes the path he's on and decides to take action to not let that happen. buck is too important to him. he has to find a way to occupy himself without relying soley on buck.
so he joins a boxing gym that nobody else goes to and starts working out there. he makes a friend who's also dealing with loneliness.
he starts volunteering on off-shift mornings at a botanical garden and finds that digging in the dirt and getting sweaty and dirty is very therapeutic. after a few weeks, some of the other volunteers invite him to come to brunch after their shift.
he discovers the LAFD Discord and that it has a whole bunch of sub-groups where first responders from all over the city get together for activities. he joins the golf group. he joins the cooking group. he goes on an axe-throwing outing.
he makes other friends.
there are no other friends like Buck. there will never be another friend like Buck. but there are people he can spend time with now, and give Buck a break so he can spend time with Tommy and also just have time to himself.
buck still brings dinner over once a week. he takes eddie on hikes. he and tommy fly him to san diego for the day and they go to the beach. but eddie also goes golfing with the LAFD Discord club. He goes to Station 133, which has the nicest kitchen in the LAFD, for the cooking club and learns some new recipes.
He has brunch with Chim and Maddie. He and Hen take Mara and Denny to mini-golf. He helps Bobby do DIY work on their new home to bring the kitchen up to his standards.
He learns to live without Chris. He learns to have support that doesn't entirely revolve around Buck. He watches Buck and Tommy get more and more serious, but now he's not resentful or scared - he's only happy, to see his best friend so happy. When they move in together, the three of them spend the first night Buck lives with Tommy eating pizza, drinking beer and watching baseball on TV.
And the first time Buck and Tommy ask him to come on a hike with them, and he has to decline because he has other plans, he's relieved, because they still want him around. They still want to be his friend. He hasn't worn them down.
He will always need Buck, he will alway love him. But he knew it wasn't fair to make Buck his entire support system...so he built a bigger one, and it's big enough to support them all.
When Chris facetimes him, he notices that his dad is looking less despondent. he has things to talk about, like the botanical garden and Bobby and Athena's new house and the firepit he's helping Buck build in Tommy's backyard. He's more open and honest. He doesn't sound so desperate. So Chris says he wants to come home, and when he does, Eddie's just happy he's back. Not desperate, not resentful or angry. And he has these new friends.
One of those new friends is another volunteer at the botanical gardens. she's a trauma nurse and does gardening to help her cope. eddie suggests she might like to try boxing as exercise, and she loves it. she is invited to a firefam BBQ at Buck and Tommy's house, and chris can't help but notice that she looks at his dad like he's really something -- and he's looking back the same way.
and if Chris had been worried that his time away would have hurt his dad, or made him sadder -- which he definitely didn't worry about, totally didn't, never at all -- he's not worried about that anymore.
#i made myself emotional about eddie#eddie diaz#bucktommy#platonic buddie#buddie friendship#9-1-1 spec#9-1-1 spoilers#evan buckley#tommy kinard#tevan#kinley
259 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can i request a Damian Priest x girlfriend reader where reader gets mad with Damian and the rest of judgement day for the way they treat R Truth. so she defends Truth much to Damian's dismay.
pls i love r-truth so much
damian priest x reader
not fair
“i’m just saying, the way you guys are treating him it’s not fair” you tried to excuse damian’s behaviour towards r-truth.
you’ve always liked him.
he was fun. a gentle soul to be around and he always treated you right. he had nothing against you even if you were damian’s girlfriend.
he wanted to be part of the judgment day too. you didn’t know why. why someone kind and honest like him wanted to be part of the most cheating faction.
yet, it would have been fun to see him with the group but the way they were treating him, especially your boyfriend was making you mad.
“we don’t need new members in the group…” he tried to explain himself.
“yet you let jd in” it’s not that you didn’t like jd, you just didn’t see the value of having him in the group when there were more talented wrestlers in the business.
“just because finn wanted him, he’s part of the team and he wanted jd in…no one in our team wants r-truth in tho…” damian said again.
“i want r-truth in! do you know how funny that would be?” you tried to explain again.
“but y/n, you’re not a part of the group…not anymore”
“so my opinion doesn’t matter?”
yes, due to an injury sustained while you were still one of the original members of the judgment day along side with damian, rhea and edge, you had to quit wrestling to give your body time to recover.
only fact it’s been years now and your body hasn’t recovered yet.
you didn’t leave the wwe. you were still ringside to every member’s match, helping them as you could. you were backstage interviewing other wrestlers when you could, so, a part of you was happy that you didn’t have to leave but you wished that your group would consider your opinion a little more.
“no love its not that…your opinion matters…”
you scoffed “to who? it doesn’t seem like that it matters to you damian…i’m just saying you should consider the idea of having someone like in the group…people love him, he’s fun and hilarious and he makes people laugh…”
“we are the judgment day y/n, we don’t need to make people laugh, i’m pretty sure that adding him in the group would only make us look ridiculous…” damian said.
“whats going on here? we’ve been hearing you talking all the way down to the corridor…is everything okay?” finn said entering the locker room along side with dom and rhea.
“y/n was just trying to convince us or just me, to have r-truth in the group” damian said making the other two guys laugh.
you didn’t think it was that funny. they just didn’t want to see your point of view.
“why would we have to y/n?” rhea said. she was your best friend but sometime she couldn’t understand why you would get such weird ideas.
“for the millionth time…he’s a likeable person, people love him, i like him too, he’s funny and kind and he would bring a different tone to the group…i just think that he would be perfect as a new member of the group…he’s different and he proved to you many times he wants to be a part of the group…so why not?”
“that’s absolute nonsense y/n” rhea said, finn and dom agreeing with her. damian too.
“okay fine, do what you want. i’m tired of talking with ghosts…” you said leaving the room.
you’ve been supporting their crazy and nonsense ideas since you’ve left the group. but having them laughing on you just because you had a good idea wasn’t fair.
that day you talked to r-truth, explaining him that you tried your best to have him in the group but that they wouldn’t listen as they thought that your opinion didn’t matter anymore.
you loved the group.
damian was your boyfriend. rhea was your best friend. but sometimes you couldn’t go along with their ideas and most of the times you ended up fighting over stupid things.
“why don’t you join me and the miz ringside?” r-truth proposed to you “you’re too funny for the judgment day anyway” he said making you laugh.
“that’s a complete different role from what i had in the judgment day…”
“i know. you had to help them win, cheating of course. you had to cover for their lies and mistakes and even if that’s what the group is about, even if you can’t wrestle anymore, i’m pretty sure that there’s still something more than you could do…i’m not saying you should officially leave the group, i’m just saying, come ringside in one of our matches and see what happens, maybe that would change your mind” he said smiling at you before leaving.
once you were back at the hotel, you thought about the proposal.
maybe you should have given a try.
“hey…i’ve been looking for you everywhere” damian said before sitting next to you on the bed.
“yeah…i talked with r-truth…”
“i imagined it…” he whispered.
“he said that maybe i should leave the judgement day and join him and the miz…”
“what did you say?” he asked you.
“ that I have to think about it…but damian please, think about that too. my opinions are no longer welcomed in the group and honestly i just feel like a burden and you’re my boyfriend and we keep constantly fighting over stupid things and…and if leaving the group means that you and i or rhea and i are not gonna fight anymore then i’m okay with that…” you explained.
damian was watching you. “i don’t like the idea of you leaving the group honestly…but i can tell you are no longer happy with us…so if that makes you happy then go for it”
“you guys make me so happy, but i don’t feel respected anymore…”
“we’ve been hard with you, i know that. honestly i’m not fond of jd too” he said making you laugh “and your ideas are always brilliant it’s just that maybe they aren’t brilliant for our group? you are my girlfriend and in these years i kinda got to know you…you’re always looking for new things, new adventures and that’s something i love about you…don’t let our ideas discourage you to do so mi amor” damian said, trying to justify his shitty behaviour of before.
“i just wished we could do those brilliant ideas together as a group but sometimes my idea aren’t meant for everyone and i get that…i just wished you guys had a better way to express that tho…” you said, still offended by how they treated you before.
“i know and i’m so sorry about that. our tones hadn’t been nice and i apologise for that mi amor, disculpame…” he apologised, softly taking your hands in his bigger ones and kissing them.
“you’re excused…” you smiled.
“think about his proposal and do what is best for you, at the end of the day it’s me you’re coming home too, and i couldn’t be happier” he said, making you genuinely smile.
damian supported you, no matter what and that was everything for you.
————————————-
bonus gif :
#wwe#wwe x reader#wwe imagine#wwe x you#damian priest#wwe imagines#wwe one shot#wwe x oc#damian priest x reader#wwe damian priest#wwe fandom#wwe x original character#damian priest x oc#damian priest oneshot#damian priest x you#damian priest fanfic#damian priest smut#damian priest wwe#damian#damian priest imagine#damian priest angst#damian priest fluff#the judgment day x you#the judgment day one shot#wwe the judgment day#the judgment day fluff#the judgment day wwe#the judgment day x reader#wwe x y/n
135 notes
·
View notes
Text
⟡ ⠀hope of devotion⠀⠀⊹⠀⠀ soshiro hoshina & you
gn reader. hurt/comfort, established relationship. reader is a soldier within the third division, no one knows about the relationship but mina. part two.
even though those lives tied to the past had slipped through your fingers unannounced- you would do everything you could do to protect those around you, those people so dear to you and even those you didn't know, now and in the future.
as a member of the defense forces, you knew all too well how ephemeral, fragile and weak human lives were.
yet, considering yourself part of humanity's shield against kaiju, you let your life dance closely to the fire
and the flames embraced you, calling out with greed and despair
because you were a prodigy in your generation, being able to release 86% of combat power during the tests alone.
all eyes were on you, all depended on you
and you would give your life in exchange for the protection of others.
so as soon as you were out of oxygen and your throat was covered by a metallic taste, it never crossed your mind to withdraw from combat.
and when you started to become part of the attire of a white bed, he would be with you
regretting not having arrived earlier.
you were fighting a honju on your own despite countless warnings; you took charge of evacuating the incapacitated soldiers from the area and protected those who supported you during the battle.
you took on the role of a defensive force as long as someone of higher rank could assist you— however, the wounded were increasing and you did not want to allow anyone on your battlefield to suffer serious consequences.
“it's one life in exchange for saving many.”
was what you thought as soon as your ribcage was pierced, debris greeting you on the heavy pavement.
and if it hadn't been for that probably several soldiers would have lost their lives.
the last thing you remember before you lost consciousness was seeing the vice-captain arriving on the scene, cutting the kaiju with agility and skill.
you smiled, weak and in immeasurable pain
for you knew that the soldiers would no longer be in danger, on their own and against such a strong monster.
from that moment on you began to wander in an endless limbo, aimlessly, among your thoughts and sound asleep on a soft mattress. you felt your body light, as if you lacked any kind of concern.
you did not know that you underwent emergency surgery, how you suffered from a serious lung injury and how many thought they would lose a strong bastion of the third division that night.
you were given oxygen by machine, and your vital signs were carefully monitored.
you had no family, so you never left the base and were allowed to rest in the base infirmary.
soshiro was the only person you could consider family.
he had an overwhelmingly busy schedule— but every day, after filling a cup of coffee and getting up at sunrise, he would come to see you.
it was a silent date that became a part of his daily routine.
he would intertwine your fingers with yours
he would watch you attentively
hoping you would wake up and give him one of your contagious smiles as usual.
it had already been a week since you were hospitalized
and he didn't dare to say it out loud, or think about it,
but he missed you— for to him you were much more than just a number among the soldiers.
“lately i see you coming into the infirmary more often.”
self-absorbed, he was unable to notice when ashiro entered the room
“are you worried about their situation?”
“they're part of the division, it's natural for me to see how they're doin'.”
he had told a half-lie
and it was just that his way of speaking retained that playful tone, despite his current position
“isn't there something else?”
mina looked at him with a face bordering near inexpressive, waiting for some kind of answer from him
you were his light, ever since you gave him a reason to protect, to fight for others and not only to feel worthy enough
he was devoted to you, only you
to the glow that you radiated every time your eyes fell on him
to the determination with which you trained alongside your colleagues, to surpass your own limits
to the warmth you displayed— like radiant sunshine
“i don't know what yer talkin' about"
he said it bringing one of his hands to the back of his neck, laughing with an almost unrecognizable hint of nervousness.
but ashiro could read between the lines
“they would have scolded you if they saw you in this state.”
she sighed, grabbing the door with the intention of leaving.
“don't worry too much. they are a strong person, i'm sure they'll wake up soon.”
and that is what hoshina longed for the most.
#soshiro hoshina x reader#soshiro hoshina#kaiju no. 8#hoshina soshiro#kaiju no. 8 x reader#sister's doctrine#kn8 x reader
141 notes
·
View notes
Text
saudade love 🫧
pilot ; you’re my lover <3
pairing : actor!soobin and actress!yn
love triangles :(
synopsis : actress!yn and actor!soobin are forced by their companies to date as a publicity stunt to promote their latest releases. however what’s to happen when yn and soobin spend more and more time together even though yn’s closest friend is keeping secrets.
“last question..” the mc announces before letting a reporter take the lead on the final question.
“soobin and yn, throughout the filming process of saudade love. the two of you were rumored to be seeing each other as more than just friends, can we get some kind of response to that ?” the reporter in front of you asks. you and soobin sitting on a theater-like stage, two high chairs next to each other. while on the other side of the stage was the director of saudade love, and a few supporting cast members.
saudade love was the new film that you had just starred in, alongside soobin, who played the main male lead. the plot was a story about yn meeting chaebol soobin. issues arising within yn’s family, which end up harming her relationship with soobin. never being able to get an end to her family’s ruthless behavior towards her, she only seems to find comfort in soobin. soobin, who comes from a wealthy family, is forced into a marriage, any kind of rebellious actions from soobin during the wedding is covered up. soobin ends up giving in, yn ends up even more hurt as it gets harder and harder to keep their secretive relationship as a healthy relationship. however, the two still only seem to feel happy around each other, the only issue being each other’s families. yet it is enough to keep them apart.
you knew that there were going to be issues with your so-called ‘controversial’ ending, since it wasn’t necessarily a happy ending, not many people were too pleased. but there was another majority of people, or rather yours and soobins fans, that enjoyed the movie due to its rawness. not every single relationship was going to end in the most fairytale way. which was exactly what saudade love’s message was trying to deliver, although it seemed to go over others’ heads.
you laugh a bit into the microphone, knowing exactly what you were supposed to do and how your company wanted you to react. taking the microphone up close to your lips, not exactly letting the two touch. you put on a flushed image, as you turn to look to soobin, who also knew his part of the live script the two of you were supposed to follow. his lips turning upwards, attempting to look rather confident about the situation, and it was working.. after all he was an actor.
“me and soobin…” you pause, taking a second to smile to yourself. looking up instead of looking at the crowd full of photographers, reporters, and journalists, a few fans in the crowd as well. “i thought we had announced a response, but i suppose not. me and soobin have been seeing each other. something about us during filming saudade love.. it just seemed to click.. we’re a few dates into our relationship but i hope that everyone will support us and our decision to be together.”
and with that, the crowd cheers, journalists and reporters typing as quick as they can. photographers snapping their pictures to use on articles that are probably being released within the next second. soobin grinned, bringing his mic up to his mouth. the image of two lovestruck actors up on stage manipulating the minds of the entire media. you looked at soobin with a tiny smile on your face. putting your best heart eyes on display.
“i think the people who have seen saudade love will notice, but the love that the two characters display is not something you can act out..” it’s funny, because he’s completely spewing out nonsense. the two of you are just convincing actors, using all the skills you’ve learned to play out your character. “at one point during filming, i stopped thinking of the script and i just started seeing yn as yn, no character or anything. i think our relationship was inevitable. yn was the sweetest person i could ever meet.” that’s a lie, well you weren’t necessarily mean, but the two of you never even spoke outside of necessary means. “i turned to her when i needed help, and she was always there to listen. not to mention, anytime yn was around, i couldn’t help but feel a certain way..” soobin grinned shyly, trying to convince everyone that he was simply too shy to continue on. which worked as majority of the audience were in complete awe.
the mc picks up his own mic, “let’s give a round of applause to our newly discovered couple !!” he pauses letting the crowd take over with their clapping, “since that was our last question, the cast and crew will give their goodbyes now !”
you stood up along with everyone, giving a bow to thank the crowd for their time and attention. afterwards you link pinkies with soobin, attempting to keep up the image of the new shy couple.
release date: tba !!
an : AHHHH!! so happy to be back, i feel quite refreshed since im back after seeing txt…. three times 😁😁 BUT im so ready to put out posts, remember how i said i was gonna pre-write ? well that didn’t work out because i had like 0 inspiration, i feel like i work better under pressure…
taglist (send asks !) : @run2seob @soobadooba @mrsyawnzzn @matcha-binz @taehyhunnzly @20crowsinahoodie @lun4kazumii
#tomorrow x together#txt#txt imagines#txt fluff#tomorrow x together imagine#txt yeonjun#txt beomgyu#txt soobin#txt taehyun#txt x reader#txt hueningkai#txt imagine#txt smau#txt huening kai#saudade love 🫧#txt soobin x reader#txt soobin fluff#soobin fic#tomorrow x together soobin#soobin scenarios#soobin fluff#soobin x reader#choi soobin#soobin imagines#soobin#soobie boobie#new smau !!#hwang yeji#itzy yeji#yeji
95 notes
·
View notes
Note
hii, can you write joost x female reader angst? they argue, he yells/says mean stuff but it ends with fluff? thank youuu 💋💋
here you go love, sorry for the late btw. :))
TW!! : mention of the death of a friend, angst with comfort ending
words : ≈1000
english is not my first language sorry if you can find some mistakes in the ff.
everything is fictional !!
REQUESTS STILL OPEN!!
NEVER FELT SO ALONE
Lately, Joost and you had been distant because he had a lot of work, and you knew that he didn’t like being disturbed while working, and you respected that.
But today was different. As you were walking home from work after an already bad and long day, you received a call from an unknown number. You usually don’t respond, but this time you felt the urge to pick up the call; you didn’t know why.
When the person on the other end of the telephone line announced the death of one of your dearest friends, your body just stopped moving, your eyes immediately filled with tears, and you felt quite dizzy.
You couldn’t believe it. How was it even possible?
You couldn’t even talk to the person who had called you, your body just moving from your sobs and your hands trembling.
The call ended and you stayed there, incapable of moving, just trembling and sobbing, trying so hard not to fall to your knees. You needed someone to hold you right now, and that someone needed to be Joost. You didn’t want anyone else because you knew that he would exactly understand how you were feeling right now.
You walked home with tears still rolling down your eyes, and after what seemed like an eternity, you finally entered your apartment.
You knew Joost was still working on his song in the room he had transformed into a studio, but you had to see him and you had to feel his arms around you.
You entered the room, but sadly for you, that clearly wasn’t the moment to do that because your boyfriend was so angry. He had just lost one of his songs and couldn’t find it anywhere on his laptop. So when he heard the door opening and felt your presence, he immediately yelled without even looking or checking on you.
“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, Y/N!! Just fucking leave me alone. Why are you pissing me off like this? Stop acting like a fucking child.”
His words were harsh, cold, and hurtful, but you didn’t want to fight. You didn’t have the energy for it. So you just stepped out of the room, crying even more.
You’d never felt so alone in your life.
You hated when people yelled at you, and Joost knew that. So after a little while, he came out of his room just to find you crying really hard on the couch. You couldn’t stop yourself, and your body was aching from sobbing. Joost immediately ran to you and took you in his arms to hold you tightly. He could feel that something else had happened, so he gently said with his calm and deep voice:
“What’s going on, lieverd? You can tell me everything… everything’s okay now…”
You looked at him; he was so comforting at the moment but yet really scary after how he had yelled at you five minutes before.
Joost could see the fear in your eyes, and that broke his heart. He never wanted you to be scared of him, so he held you as long as you needed to open up to him. And you finally did. You explained everything—the bad day at work, the call, the announcement of the death of your friend, the fight you had with him, and how you were feeling so lonely right now.
Joost’s heart ached at the mention of your dead friend. He had lost several people when he was young, and he knew how much it hurts and how hard it is to accept.
He sighed and played with your hair before finally speaking up:
“First of all, I’m really sorry that I reacted like this. I didn’t mean to, and I don’t ever want you to be scared of me. For your friend, you know I understand you perfectly, but the only advice I can give you is to let time do its work. Maybe it will take a while for you to heal, but I’ll be there to support you even when it’s not easy. You are not alone, Y/N… you’ll never be alone as long as I’m with you…”
Your sobbing had calmed down and your head was now resting on Joost’s chest, listening to his heartbeat as he was speaking to you with all the tenderness in the world.
Your eyes were feeling heavy and your body just needed some rest right now.
“Thank you, Joost… I love you…”
Joost kissed your forehead and smiled at the sight of you falling asleep on his torso.
“I love you too, Y/N… I love you so fucking much…”
93 notes
·
View notes
Text
The emotional incest aspect of Frank and Fionas relationship has been on my mind sm so imma talk about it.
I don't exclusively think that it's emotional. Frank makes a few creepy comments but I'm gonna talk about that after.
First here is a quick summary of what emotional incest is cause so far everyone I have tried to talk to about this didn't know what it was
I think the most noticeable example of Frank going to fiona for emotional support is how he makes her raise her siblings. Throughout the whole show, Frank talks about how his kids are a consistent cause of stress for him, even goes as far to blame them for his drinking. Part of the reason he's so good with franny is because there isn't as much responsibility and grandchild 'don't expect anything' from him. He willingly unloads that work onto fiona even when she is a young child. The burden/stress should have been passed onto Monica. Since she isn't around, a lot of the time Fiona steps up. This is why I think this aspect of their relationship goes unnoticed. People accept that fiona had no choice when really Frank could have found an adult to help him like fiona goes to kev & Vee. Frank had brothers, for example, but he wanted fiona, his young daughter, instead.
Something I think is almost just as significant is Fionas' willingness to help Frank despite her obvious hate for him. In season one, Fiona is the most determined out of all her siblings to get Frank back from Canada. That, to me, shows that bringing Frank home is normal. It's part of her job as the caretaker of the house. She isn't just taking care of her siblings but also Frank. Not only does fiona get Frank back, but she trusts he will. We see this in S3 ep1 when fiona tells Debbie that 'He always comes back'. During that same scene, we find out that Frank had left fiona for almost a year when she was 9. Frank isn't dumb. He knows fiona will worry about him. By leaving her for so long, Frank doesn't just put her siblings' lives in her hands but also puts the worry of his wellbeing on her, too. Although I don't think this is him directly him leaning on her emotionally. we know Frank is happiest when he knows someone is careing/worrying for him. I find it odd that he decides to find that feeling with fiona of all people.
A scene I think about a lot is when fiona goes to comfort Frank about his mother.
Frank doesn’t say anything. He leans into her slightly and accepts the comfort she is giving him. Typically, when Frank's parenting is criticised, he gets mad, especially if he is already emotional. Here tho when fiona says that her parents suck referring to him, he smiles. This is because it's fiona saying it to him. Frank knows he's being insulted, but there's a disconnect for him. Frank doesn't fully see himself as fionas dad. I also think it's interesting how he so easily let's fiona be motherly towards him (she's comforting in the same way she would with her younger siblings) when it's his real mum that has caused his pain to begin with. Fiona is a tool to fill different roles. In this example, it's the parental one.
A large part of what emotional incest is is the idea that the parents view the child as a like partner. This is 1000% Frank and Fiona. I've talked about how fiona takes the parental responsibility that should be Monica's, but it's Frank himself that compares the two in a different way.
Thinking of Frank being attracted to Fiona makes me deeply uncomfortable, but I think it's a real possibility and shouldn't be pushed aside. The 'wild and dangerous' natural of monica is something Frank fell in love with. At Monica's funeral, Frank tells the story of when he fell for her. The story summed up is Monica acting 'crazy' and being naked. Saying his daughter looks like her mum isn't inherently creepy. It's normal until the 'stripper on a bender dangerous'. It's a description of the 'wild and dangerous' Frank finds so attractive. It almost sounds like a reference to how Frank and Monica fell in love if Monica was a stripper ofc. Even still then you could argue that he doesn't mean it like that. If you think about instances like in s1 ep8 where Frank tells his daughter to be 'skins' meaning she would take her top off ,it clicks as something much more unsettling.
I think the shift in their relationship started when fiona was 9 yrs old. She often brings up this age, probably because it was the most traumatic. This is the age where Frank is away for most of the year.
The way I imagine it is that Frank comes home to find that Fiona has matured considerably. The fact that she says guys have been trying to sleep with her since she was 9 makes me think she was an early bloomer. Considering she had been solo raising her siblings for a large amount of time, she has developed emotionally, not just physically. This leads Frank to relying on her more than he would before. She's more capable, and her older appearance makes it's that little bit easier to start forming the previously mentioned disconnect with being her father.
The effects of covert incest (they could be caused by something else who knows) match up perfectly with Fiona. She has problems surrounding both physical and emotional intimacy, has a lack of self-esteem and identity, finds it hard to set and adhere to boundaries, and has a love/hate relationship with her parent. The way she leaves the show is a great example of these imo. It's her lack of identity that pushes her so deep into the caretaker role. Her desperation to look after everyone causes strain on her siblings' relationships because she can't handle boundaries. Her low self-esteem makes it easier for her to fall into alcoholism. When all these things come to a head, she leaves to find herself.
Another factor to why this lable fits their dynamic is Frank's favouritism towards Fiona. Fiona prefers Frank to Monica, and when Frank reveals he has a hidden daughter, she is upset. Nor just because Frank lied but also about that means her place is at risk of being taken. The special treatment she gets from being the favourite starts as something good but slowly fades into something more unpleasant. When she stops being daddies little girl like she's meant to Frank, he gets mad. He sabotages her relationships as if he's determined to be the only man in her life. The way Frank acts with Jimmy Steve feels more like a jealous ex than a concerned dad.
The last key thing i want to talk about is that Frank doesn't mention fiona at the end of the show. This might should be like a reach but stay with me. At the start of the show, Frank says,'Fiona, my rock, huge help. Has all the best qualities of her mother, except she's not a raging psycho bitch.' The first ever thing we find out about Fiona is that she is like her mother and has essentially taken her place. Its made to sound like they are a team. Fiona is the only one to be compared to someone else. When Frank gets over Monica's death, he gets over fiona, too. Frank has so deeply intertwined Monica and fiona that without fiona near him, she is simply forgettable. Even though fiona is Frank's favourite, he doesn't see her as her own person. She was a placeholder, and with no one to step in for, she isn't worth mentioning.
I still think I could say more about this, but I'm not risking getting everything deleted again, so I'm done. I do really fast wanna say that sometimes the parents don't realise they have such an unhealthy relationship with their kids, so for once, Frank might not know what he's doing wrong here.
#yk its serious when my ramblings move from twitter to tumblr#shameless us#fiona and frank#fiona gallagher#shameless#frank gallagher#fuck frank#fiona gallagher meta#shameless meta
87 notes
·
View notes
Text
POV: you're me looking at Wilbur Soot "coming back" video, as he explains that he's indeed NOT ADDRESSING ANYTHING AND IS AVOIDING IT COMPLETELY only to be announcing a tour in Australia and a new song like he thought people were gonna be excited about a man who hurt member of the public, admitted to bitting people even the told him to stop, hurt Shelby after she'd withdrawn her consent, admitted to biting Niki Nihachu LIVE and playing it off as "well tell them how horrible I am boo hoo", hitting Technoblade in the arm after his post cancer treatment surgery and laughing about it LIVE, basically screwing over the MCC video production takes because now they can't use him in update videos effectively making the whole event less popular meaning that on occasion less people from charities get money, giving a disingenuous apology, being rude to the people hosting his concerts, stomping on tommyinnit hands TWICE in a video for "ruining his day" / to make fun of him, being egotistical enough to write himself back into the narrative of Dsmp after he died because he basically explained on stream that it wasn't "heading in the direction he wanted it to" and believe it wasn't good enough and most importantly shatter the trust in his ACTUALLY fans that could afford/would go to see him
Because the only fans he has now are 10-15yr old girls who are "ride or die" for any form of man in modern day media, telling people to kill themselves and get r*pe if they initially didn't support their ideologies and who CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO FLY OUT TO AUSTRALIA TO GO SEE HIM-
#Bro should have taken the YouTube ad Revenue and left#mcyt#wilbur mcyt#wilbur soot situation#fuck wilbur soot#Dream smp#Dsmp#Wilbur#Wilbur soot#wilbur soot support#Wtf#tommyinnit#shelby situation#shelby shubble#mcc season 4#mc championship#niki niachu#WHAT THE FUCK-
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
MATSUKAWA RELATIONSHIP HCS
gn!reader, timeskip mentions | 4 whoevah asked! 🫵👍
waits until you're distracted/busy before suddenly saying shit like "first one to get to the lineup gets to pick extra snacks" at the grocery store
eats your leftover food if you can't finish
works hard to take you to a fancy restaurant on one of your first dates... doesn't know which ones are actually good so he's on reddit researching, texting the seijoh 4 gc, etc etc. he dresses up too... he wants to make sure you're happy and treated well 🙁
issei isn't super into or against pda,, he's happy if you're happy. most of the time it'll be an arm draped around your shoulder while you're sitting together or casual hand holding. he isn't opposed to a quick kiss either! :3
if you show him one of those videos that are like,, "if you know your partner, which one would they choose?" and he gets it wrong issei's like "?? tf are u sure" as if it isn't Your choice
he isn't used to getting gifts. if you give him a gift his first thought (fear) is that he's forgotten some kind of anniversary. but you tell him it's just because you thought of him and he gets all flustered and can't keep eye contact 🙁 you catch him glancing at/playing with the gift for the rest of the day
^ him with a lot of stuff actually LOL he tries to hide how Not Chill he is it's so cute 😭 you ask him to hold something but your hand is empty and you just interlock fingers? he's like wow okay if you wanted me you could've just said so As if his ears aren't red hshsdbshs
denies crying over a sad movie as he takes the tissue box from you (refuses to look at you until he's wiped his tears) (looks at you with red eyes and sniffles and says It's not even that sad)
says he'll take a photo of you then takes a selfie LOL
^ you'll have to show him how to take good photos... or learn together... he promises he's a quick learner + he thinks you look good in all of them
takes your compliments/comments to heart. you say his hair looks nice grown out and he takes a few extra seconds messing with it in the mirror, pushing off a haircut for a little longer. you say his new jacket looks great and he's like yeah of course it does,, then reaches for it more often than planned at its original purchase.
i think timeskip mattsun would worry about sharing certain stories from work ;; like... would it upset you (more than him)? did you have a rough day and would he make it worse? he keeps it pretty vague until you ask him to share because you can tell it's been big on his mind
mattsun's not one to care about what side of the bed he sleeps on (it's just the one is closest to a charging port) until you're together. like if you pick a side yourself, it becomes a habit for him to slide into the other even times you aren't sharing a bed. it just doesn't feel right anymore bdhsjdbsj
you know those trends where you ask the other person/people to draw flowers or stars for your lockscreen. he just sends a shitty dick drawing LOL. but he ends up spending super long on decent flowers after i promise. scrunching his eyebrows, moving his finger really slow, picking good colours and everything... even pulls up references. yeagh
sees you online listening to sad music and texts "you up?" in hopes of distracting you. he gets away with coincidental timing the first couple of times, but you figure it out. not that this changes anything (other than maybe his text to "you wanna talk?") — mattsun continues as an offer / reassurance he's there if you'd like him to be
so supportive. SO SUPPORTIVE. you have a big project you're working on? he's checking on you and complimenting you with every day of work, even if he isn't knowledgeable on it himself. you get a promotion or offer you've always wanted? you have to celebrate—you deserve it!! you have a big game coming up? he's in the stands with your jersey on and he's brought his friends to cheer too
^ he isn't really one to Jump for Joy, but he'll be grinning so big, and always matches your energy. (you like hugs and kisses? you got them! you'd rather a solid high-five or verbal praise? that's good with him too! he just wants you to know he's happy and proud of you)
^ actually he might jump for joy. a little. not in a YAHOO! YIPPEE!! way but in a LET'S GOOOOOO way.
you ask to meet the seijoh team and he's like. begging the universe no one's gonna embarrass him. everyone's like No way someone wants to date our mattsun?! Are you sure?! and he's 😐
^ tries to act cool in front of you. gets called out like "lmfao what are you doing" "so obvious" "okay mr. tough guy?" "blocked a ball and thinks he's hot" WBDJSNSSJ
^ brightens when you tell him he Is very cool and you like watching him. shoots his team a look and says something about how they're all single LOL
doesn't post you a lot, but he doesn't really post in general so the ratio of you on his profile is still great tbh. maybe for anniversaries or if he took a really good photo—keeps it minimal and won't write long paragraphs. adds a couple blurry or 0.5x pictures if you're okay with it
accidentally kicks you while he's napping and apologizes even though you swore he was deep asleep shdbsbns
lets you have the window seat. he doesn't actually care that much (since it's you) but he makes a scene of giving it up for you /silly /he's smiling
issei always does his first karaoke song with you if you're there. the first time it happens he doesn't even ask he just hands you the second mic and you're like wait what ??? LOL
gets scared if you say his full name. skips right over confusion and freezes like a deer in headlights even if he hasn't done anything
middle guy for autographs.. LMFAO 😭😭 like what do you mean you know oikawa tooru and iwaizumi hajime who then knows msby etc etc. you show up and say his name like :)) isseii?? :)) and he's like 🙄 Who's asking now. you know you know them too right. /lh
bro does not decorate. imagine unpacking for your new shared apartment and you're like ?? is that really all your stuff. and he's like ....Yeah??.. a lot of the things on his desk/around the house were bought together or by you
i write hcs and im like wowww what a respectable post length and then i realize how long the points are and im like FAWK??!?! ur telling me i DONT actually have that many ?!?!?! so i keep adding more and thats why i take so long. then i stare at myself like GIRL GET IT TOGETHER!! EVERY TIME!!! 🙁🙁🙁
#haikyuu x reader#matsukawa x reader#haikyuu fluff#matsukawa fluff#i was reading my old relationship hc posts and. ??? how was i so creative w some of them Hzbekwbsjskw#comebackkk 😭😭 thoughts and ideas come back to mee 😭😭😭#i was supposed to schedule this earlier but i forgot. heyyyyy everybody#pls tell me if theres typos.guysg.
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
with me + part twelve
authors note: you guys are seriously the nicest and most supportive. the comments always make me stupidly smile and laugh cause not a single one of ya'll is gonna let bdj die off. 😭 also, i know a couple of people have commented and asked about the backstory with joe and jadah, and i promise it'll be explored deeper. there's a subplot i'm working towards unveiling here, and it's nearing the reveal part, but we're not there yet! i promise, though, it's gonna be touched on!!!
i also had to chop this chapter in half, because it's honestly so much stuff, so the next update shouldn't take as long cause it's almost done.
the next two are gonna be so fun. maybe some shit will go down too. we shall see.
status: in progress // masterlist
warnings: fluff, language, some angst, suggestive themes
song inspo: with me by destiny’s child
words: 8k
taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns
“So let me get this straight, in the time that I’ve been gone, you and Joe told Callie he’s her dad, you found out Amir and Mariah been fucking behind your back, and you had a semi mental breakdown after running into your father and, plot twist, long lost sister.” She counts each off with a finger, then asking. “Did I miss anything?”
Nodding, you take a scoop of your ice cream before adding, “Joe told me he loves me.”
In true Alexis fashion, she randomly arrived in town the night before, completely unaware of all that transpired in her absence. So, you take this time while Callie sleeps to catch her up.
“Did I miss anything that I didn’t already know?” You give her a look, and she rolls her eyes, also eating some of her Rocky Road. “Come on, Y/N. Ray Charles could see that man is in love with you. You’re the one being stupid by not reciprocating.” Before you can push back against her, even if she isn’t entirely wrong, she switches topics. “Now when are we gonna go beat Lieriah’s ass? I told you it was something about that girl. She’s a snake.”
Typically the one to defend your friends, it’s hard to find it in you to come to Mariah’s aid. Nevermind the fact that she knows the shitty things Amir has done to you over the years, it’s the fact that she’s supposed to be your best friend but is messing around with same ain't shit ex? You would never do something like that to her, but maybe your loyalty to her has always been stronger than hers to you.
“I’m not worried about him or her. They’re not worth it.” That’s partially true, but the sting of betrayal is slow to pass and even slower to heal. You’ve always had mid to low expectations for Amir, but Mariah? That’s a crushing blow. “I have more important things to figure out.”
She studies you, leaning back against the headboard. “Your sister.”
“Bianca,” you correct. It’s too uncomfortable referring to her as such, even if that’s exactly what she is.
In the weeks since the big fireworks show—both metaphorically and figuratively—you’ve tried to slowly return to your sense of normalcy. Focusing on Callie—who is an entirely different issue in and of itself that you really need to talk to your mom about—being more on top of things at work, and navigating your relationship with Joe.
He hasn’t been back to visit since Christmas, but you figured as such. Wrestlemania season has arrived, and you know better than anyone how crazy that time is, especially with him main eventing.
But the one thing you haven’t really allowed yourself to think too much about is Bianca. You’d sent her a vague apology text a few days after your mad dash and explained that you were dealing with some things and just needed time to sort through them. That you’d reach back out when you were ready.
That still hasn’t happened, and it’s entirely intentional.
“I remember you mentioned that you always wanted siblings?”
“Yeah, cause we have so much to bond over,” you mutter, bitterly.
“Well, you actually do have a lot in common. She’s a teacher, like you. She has a daughter, like you—”
“You know what we don’t have in common?” You interrupt, feeling the agitation growing again. It’s not directed toward Alexis, just the situation in general. “A father who loves us.”
You were done referring to that man as your father. A father shows up. Like Joe. That son of a bitch isn’t even in the same universe as Joe.
Her expression softens. You didn’t tell her everything, just enough for her to get the gist that he’s a piece of shit. And you definitely did not tell her about the time you went to see him. You’ve never told anyone that story. Joe is now the only one who knows, and you’d like to keep it that way. It’s just….it’s just too painful. “I had no idea that was the situation there…..I’m really sorry, girl.”
“It is what it is. I don’t need him.” And you’re not too sure if you need Bianca either. “I’m just trying to figure out if I should power through this for Callie’s sake. You should have seen how she and Taylor clicked. I would hate to take that away from her.”
“I get that,” she acknowledges. “You have to make the decision that’s best for the long run, not necessarily how you’re feeling right now.” That’s very easy to say and nearly impossible to do. “Even if you just allow the girls to interact while you keep some distance with Bianca.”
You’re partially intrigued, spooning some more cookie dough. “How would that work?”
“They don’t live here, right?” You nod. “Maybe the girls can talk on Facetime or even play some game on their tablets. That won’t cause you to interact much with mom outside of coordinating virtual playdates, and Callie still gets to spend time with her cousin, or, not cousin."
You sit on her words, not expecting to be as open to the idea as you are. It’s a pretty genius compromise. “You really do give some great advice sometimes, you know that?”
“That’s what I’m here for,” she smiles mischievously, and you just shake your head. “Now, who’s gonna knock this bitch Mariah over the head with a steel chair? Me or you? Or should we hit her with a bus, Regina George style?”
“Alexis!”
________
You clearly don’t love yourself because you decided to do both yours and Callie’s washday on the same damn day. A Sunday, at that. Meaning, you have no choice but to get it done because you have work the next day.
And Alexis being in town would be even more of a benefit than it already is if she actually knew how to do hair. Natural hair. She can lay any wig down better than Tae, but caring for coils and curls is another story. It’s why you declined her offer, and she lays knocked out in your bed, while Callie is fast asleep in hers.
Thankfully, you have an insanely generous and sweet man who’s offered to talk to you while you power through this debacle, noodle arms, sleep deprivation, and all.
“Oh, before I forget again.” You grab the bottle of leave-in to apply more to the next section of hair. Shingling may give you the most definition, but it also gives you the most discomfort. “Can you be here May 8th?” A smile falls on your face. “Our baby is graduating preschool, and I know she’d want you there. I do too.”
“Shit, they have preschool graduations?” He seems genuinely taken back before answering. “But, of course I’ll be there.”
“I know. I used to think they were stupid, but now it’s my kid, so it’s the best thing ever. Her cap and gown should come some time in March, so I’m gonna have one of my old teammates who’s a photographer take professional photos of her.” It’s literally just preschool, but that’s still something she’s accomplished, and you want to commend the occasion the best you can. It’s been years since you’ve had professional photos of her taken anyway. Not since she was first born. “And yes, I’ll get extra for you.”
“How much—”
“Anyways, let me show you the tattoo.” Joe has already done so much, the least you can do is cover the photo costs. Even though you know him well enough to know he’ll find some way to contribute. Thankfully, the side of your hair that still needs to be shingled is clipped at the top of your head, so all you have to do is turn around and push down the thin strap of your shirt to reveal your latest ink. “He did an amazing job.”
“Shit, he did.” Joe’s agreement and approval somehow makes you even more satisfied with the outcome. Your Christmas gift to yourself was finally getting that Moana tattoo Callie has wanted to see on you since you told her you were getting one damn near a year ago. It’s on the back of your left shoulder, a black manta ray, some blue ocean-like coloring with one of your favorite lyrics from the movie: I will carry you here in my heart. You remind me, that come what may, I know the way.
It’s one of Callie’s favorite songs but also feels like an ode to your grandma as well.
He then asks, “do you want more?”
Readjusting your shirt and turning back around, you answer, “of course. More Disney but also….” This discussion triggers something for you, something that seems a little out there, but also maybe not. “I saw this tattoo on Pinterest that I want to get for Callie.” You grab your phone. “Let me send it to you.” It’s saved in your favorites folder and thus an easy send. Placing the phone back on the counter, you wait for him to receive and see it.
“I like it.” It’s a baby’s footprint with the name written in cursive and date of birth in print right underneath it. You’ve always wanted Callie’s name on you but couldn’t settle on a design until you came across that one. Something about it just resonates with you.
Licking your lips, you suggest, “why don’t you get it with me?” Couples getting matching tattoos isn’t something you’re entirely against, you just don’t agree with it for people who are only dating and not married, if marriage is the goal. You remember when Amir once suggested you do so, and you literally laughed in his face. You’d soon rather get branded with a tramp stamp than have that man’s name permanently burned into your skin.
But, matching tattoos for the child you created together with the man you love. That is something you could get behind.
And apparently so can he.
“Let’s do it.”
“Really?” You’re not sure why, but the ease of his agreement shocks you. It’s not too far-fetched when you think about it. He loves his daughter, and you’ve always known Joe to only get tattoos that have meaning. He could give you a detailed explanation for every piece of ink on his body.
“Yeah.” There’s almost a sense of excitement in his voice, like he’s eager to have her name on him, to share this with you. “Same location?” At that, you make a face. He laughs. “Inner bicep does hurt, I’m not even gon’ lie to you.”
Yeah, you’ve definitely heard as such, and considering his entire right side is tatted, he’d know. “I don’t know. I have to think about it. I might need to squeeze your hand the whole time, or I’ll end up punching the tattooist.”
He laughs, “you can squeeze my hand.” Joe then asks, “when do you want to get em’ done?” You start to think about it logistically, as well as financially. Tattoos aren’t cheap. “Do you want to go to the Super Bowl?”
His question surprises you because it’s such a change in topics but also….what? “Yup. And Hawaii and Puerto Rico. And then maybe if we have time, stop by Alice in Wonderland.”
He’s too good at matching your sass, retorting, “I can make the first two happen easily. The last one may be a stretch.” Rolling your eyes, you grab for the gel. “I’m serious though. My tattoo artist is based out of Vegas. The game is in Vegas this year. It’ll let me see Callie too, cause I’m having a hard time finding a gap to visit.” As he continues to speak without laughing or chuckling, you realize he’s dead serious. “I’ve been meaning to ask you to go anyway but kept forgetting.”
You need extra clarification. “Like this year's Usher concert where there’s apparently a game too?”
He rolls his eyes, providing the guest list. “It’s me and the twins, their family, some other fam…..we have a whole section, cause you know it's a bunch of us.” It’s still hard to sit on the fact that this man really just invited you to the fucking Super Bowl like it’s dinner at Golden Coral. His eyes soften. “I wanna see her. I wanna see you.”
Joe’s closing statement, so true and vulnerable, is what breaks you from your temporary state of shock. You get the sense he misses ya’ll just as much as you miss him. “Of course, we’ll go. I’m sorry, I just—I wasn’t expecting that.” And it’s true, you weren’t. “How will we get fl—”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of everything. I just need you to show up at the airport.”
That seems to be such a recurring theme with this man. He does everything he can to make things as easy for you as possible. It’s tremendously appreciated and doesn’t go without notice.
“This is the first time she’ll be meeting the twins,” you realize aloud. Hell, his family at all.
Joe nods, chuckling. “Yeah, they’ve been on my ass about that anyway. They want to meet her.”
Pinning down the section you just finished, you take down the next. A little over halfway done now. “Whoever you want her to meet is fine with me, Joe. I don’t even really have a say in that. She has every right to meet your family just as much as she’s had to meet mine.”
And it’s true. Unless it could present some harm to Callie, you don’t really feel like you have the right to object to things like that. You have zero desire to interfere with Joe and Callie anymore than you already have.
“I know. I just wanted to tell her the truth before introducing her to anyone else. Less lies.” Makes sense. Thinking about Callie meeting more family brings a small smile to your face. It’s what she deserves. Family members who actually want to be in her life.
The conversation brings something else to the forefront of your mind, partially due to Joe’s confession to you on Christmas but also a question you’ve wanted to ask him for much longer than you’d like to admit.
“So….” This shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it is. “There’s something I want to ask you, but I don’t…..I don’t want to overstep.” If he were to tell you that he’d rather you not, that’d be fine with you, one less stressful thing on your plate. But, of course, he’s silent, meaning he’s not going to object. So….you decide to bite the bullet and go for it. “What happened between you and your wife?”
You’re certain he wasn’t expecting that to be what you asked, but to your surprise, he answers. “We were young and got married for the wrong reason. I was 22. She was 21.”
Unsure but taking a big risk regardless, you ask in a small voice. “What was the reason?”
His answer isn’t what you’re expecting either. “She was pregnant.”
It takes a second for you to process what he’s saying. Your stomach is suddenly in knots, chest feeling tight. There’s no way he’s kept something like that from you. No way in hell. “Wait, does Callie have—”
“No.”
And just like that, you know. He doesn’t need to explain. It’s painfully obvious, especially as he looks away from the camera. You have a feeling you've unlocked a painful memory he’d most likely kept tucked away.
“I’m sorry.” It feels so stupid and unhelpful to say. What does that do for him? It doesn’t take away that experience, that loss that you can’t even begin to imagine. But, it’s all you can offer. “Just—forget I asked, let’s change the subject.” Do you have more questions? Of course. Like, why was there such a gap between their loss and the divorce? But, this is understandably a difficult and sensitive subject, and the last thing you want to do is trigger him more than you already have.
You know better than anyone how awful that can be.
He agrees with the subject change, going along with the transition of topics, clearly grateful for your understanding. But, in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think about the fact that this man lost his firs child before he could even meet the them, and the child he had who did survive was kept a secret from him for nearly five years.
There’s a sudden sickness and disgust you feel. And it’s not towards anyone but yourself.
Joe had every goddamn right to be furious with you about your subterfuge.
He still does.
________
“Mama, something is up with Callie.”
You’re thankful Alexis agreed to keep Callie preoccupied in the living room while you have this conversation with your mom, because Callie had another incident just this morning, slamming her door when you told her she needed to pick up her toys.
She’s never done that.
But she has done other things in the past two weeks or so, rolling her eyes or pouting her mouth at you when you say something she doesn’t want to hear, beyond typical tantrums.
Your mom stops her stirring at the pot to turn around and look at you. “What do you mean? Is she sick?”
“No,” you answer and then realize you’re not entirely sure how to explain it. She’s not being bad, per se. Just….difficult. “She’s just been…..off.”
Genuinely intrigued, and partially concerned, you watch your mom turn the fire on low as she joins you at the kitchen table. “Tell me.”
Shaking your head, you explain. “I thought it was just me, that I was just being overprotective and hyper-vigilant, but when I picked her up from preschool yesterday, her teacher pulled me to the side and asked me if she’s been having sleep problems. I told her no and asked why, and she told me Callie has been irritable. With staff and other kids.”
“Callie?” Your mom seems just as taken back as you were hearing these words. “That doesn’t even sound like her.”
“I know, and that’s what I said at first, but then I thought about it, and she’s been crabby with me too. It’s not horrible, but it’s unlike her.”
A small part of you wonders if it has something to do with you running off on her on Christmas. It would make sense. She was doing absolutely fine before then, but it’s the timing that throws that theory off. You’ve noticed this change only in the past two weeks, well after Christmas day passed, so why the delay?
“What does Joe think it is?”
“I haven’t told him.” It’s not that you don’t want to. You’d just like to have a better grasp of what it is before doing so. Have more actual information to provide him.
“He hasn’t seen the behavior for himself?”
You shake your head. “She’s fine with him. Matter of fact, after his calls, she’s like a completely different child.” It’s watching your mom’s face settle into a look of realization that makes you ask, “what? What is it?”
“Honey” she starts with a soft chuckle. “She’s missing her daddy.”
Her answer catches you by surprise, painting your face with confusion. You’ve had a lot of theories, but that definitely wasn’t one of them. “What?”
Reaching across the table, she places her hand over yours. “Think about it. How would she react if you were gone as much as he is? She’d be a mess, cause you’re her mama, and she has a strong attachment to you. Look how easily she attached and connected with Joe. It’s always been there. Except she knows the truth now, so her attachment is even stronger.” You heed to her explanation, wise and sensible. You hadn’t even thought of it that way. “And isn’t this the longest he’s been gone without her seeing him? She’s acting out because she misses him and probably doesn’t know how to verbalize it, so it shows in her behavior.”
As relieved as you are to have an explanation that makes sense, it’s an explanation that makes you incredibly sad for your sweet child. You know how hard it is for Joe to get away right now, you understand it. It never crossed you that she wouldn’t.
Devastated, you ask, “what do I do?”
“Talk to her. Try to help her understand. It may not make a huge difference, but it’s something.”
You nod, so so grateful for her, for all that she does for you, for Callie. For all that she’s done. Reaching across the table, you hug her tightly. “thank you, mama.” As much as it devastated you to not have that man in your life, your mom made sure to go above and beyond to make sure you knew you were loved. She played both roles beautifully, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to make her understand what that meant to you.
You still haven’t really sat her down and explained everything that happened Christmas night, nor has she asked, but you know it’s because she’s trying to respect your space. It’s appreciated, but you also know you’re gonna have to eventually tell her.
Just not now.
Right now, you’ve gotta take care of your baby.
________
Even the energy in Callie’s playroom feels off.
You’re so used to walking in and finding her with that million dollar smile that makes your entire day better. Instead, you walk in and she doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. She just continues to color.
“Hey, baby….” Disappointed, but refusing to show as such, you welcome yourself in and approach her table. “Is it okay if I color with you?”
She still doesn’t say anything, just nods, and you do your best not to hide your sadness. You hate seeing her this down, it’s so unfamiliar, and you’ll do just about anything to fix it.
Sitting down in the uncomfortable seat, you take a couple of her pages and pull out a crayon. “I have an idea.” At that, she looks up, slightly intrigued. “Why don’t we draw how we’ve been feeling lately? I draw me, and you draw you.”
You scold yourself for not selling it to her better, for not telling her it’s something you sometimes do with your students. Some level of innocent peer pressure. However, she surprises you by agreeing with a simple “okay.”
It takes a second for you to register that it was really that simple. Step one is done. Now for step two.
Grabbing some crayons, you don’t really concern yourself with skin tone, just getting something out on paper. The two of you color in silence, and you start to offer to put on her favorite playlist but decide against it.
You want her to really think about what you’re asking.
It’s when you see that she’s placed down her crayon and is just staring at her picture that you ask, “you done?” She shakes her head, but her eyes are on the table in front of her. “Is it okay if mommy sees it? I’ll show you mine too.”
Handing you the page, you expect an influx of emotions, but actually seeing her literal representation of how she feels is simply heartbreaking.
She’s drawn herself, frowning, surrounded by broken hearts and a blue tear leaking from her eye. Callie did what you asked. You just wish it didn’t have you feeling so helpless.
“This means you’ve been feeling sad, huh?” You hate how your voice gives away your emotions. This is about her, not you, but it’s so difficult for you to not be impacted. No mother wants to see her child hurting, and Callie currently is. It kills you. “Callie….” Moving up from your chair, you move across to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in yours. “Have you been sad because you miss your dad?”
All you need to hear is one sniffle, and instantly, you’re reaching for her, holding and comforting her.
“It’s okay,” you soothe, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay, baby.” She cries into your chest, and you have to hold back your own tears.
“Why doesn't he come back?” She asks in between tears, wiping her eyes. “He’s been gone a really long time.” It’s only then you realize that she’s not entirely exaggerating. Joe was last here for Christmas. It’s now the end of January. For a child like Callie, that must feel like an eternity.
“He would if he could, Callie. I promise you he would. Daddy just…he gets really busy with his job this time of the year, and he can’t leave or he’ll get in trouble.” It’s so difficult to explain this to her. WrestleMania season is inarguably chaotic and stupidly busy. Even back in the day, Joe’s trips to see you were most far and few in between during this time of year. And that was before he even had a title. You can’t even imagine how busy he must be as the literal fucking face of the company.
Enough to keep him from being able to come see you and Callie.
You’ve just gotten so used to the dynamics of him being away for periods at a time that it never occurred to you Callie hasn’t had the same experience. That at the end of the day she’s still a little kid who just wants to be with her dad.
It’s then that a thought crosses your mind.
“What if…..what if we went to see daddy?” For the first time since you stepped into the room, her eyes actually light up and you notice her tears lessening. “Instead of him coming to us, we go see him?”
“Really?” There’s the faintest smile on her face, and you know then that you’re going to make this happen. You don’t know how or in what way, but it will be a reality. No matter what it takes.
“Yeah,” you answer, brushing away some of her tears. “You can go see him at his show. He’d love that.” Not as much as she clearly loves the idea alone. “Now, we’d only be able to stay a day or maybe two but—”
“Please,” she interrupts, and you get the sense that she fears you’re going to find a way to say that you couldn’t or shouldn’t go. “I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”
“Baby, you’re already the best girl.” You push back some of her hair, resting your hand against her cheek. “Mama’s gonna make it happen, okay? I promise.”
If you have to sell one of your kidneys, then you’ll just be less one organ, because you’re getting your baby to that damn show. Matter of fact, you don’t say anything to her, but you’re wondering if you can make it to this week’s upcoming show. It’s only Sunday, and that gives you a couple of days to make arrangements and secure tickets. It’s doable, but you don’t want to get her hopes up, so just in case, you say nothing.
And yes, in the back of your mind, you know she’ll see Joe in a couple of weeks for the game, but that’s too long. Your child is hurting. You need to do something now. She can’t wait that long.
“Thank you, mommy!” She wraps her little arms around you, and just like that, you see the spark and joy that fills your days with light and laughter. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby.” Kissing her temple, you release her, realizing something else. “Now we can't tell your daddy because we’re gonna surprise him, okay? Can you do that for me?”
She nods, happily, unaware of the real reason. You know that you can’t tell Joe about this. Well, not now at least. This is not something to be discussed over the phone or even video chat. And if you tell him you want to take her to see him as soon as possible, he’ll know something is up.
So, you have to move in silence.
Coloring with Callie commences for a little longer as you value and cherish your time with her, but as soon as she’s down for her nap and before you wake Alexis from hers to tell her the news, you need to do something. It’s in that time bonding with her you realized how you’re going to make this happen.
You’re suddenly immensely grateful for that random conversation you’d had with Joe a while back regarding the fact that he and the twins have had the same phone number since they were in high school.
Pulling out your phone, you scroll through your contacts until you land on the one you need. You type, backspace, and type some more, only sending out the text once you’re fully pleased with it.
You: Hey, Jon. This is Y/N. Can you call me when you get a chance? Preferably sooner rather than later. I need your help with something. And please don’t tell Joe. It’s a surprise.
________
God clearly wants you to bring Callie to see Joe.
There’s just too many things that have lined up perfectly for that not to be the case. The discussion with your principal went well, though that wasn’t entirely surprising. You’ve always had a cordial relationship and know she respected your grandma. The whole school system in your town did. That was just her level of impact. But that respect has slid down to work in your favor as your principal told you to take as much time as you need.
“You’ll always have a job here.”
While not a huge concern, it’s reassuring and not entirely unsurprising. Again, your grandma’s impact definitely granted you a level of nepotism. You were slightly surprised when she actually encouraged you to take more time off, pointing out how in the almost nine years you’ve worked there, she could count on one hand how much PTO or vacation time you’ve used. And, it’s true. It was really only when Callie was sick and your mom couldn't help or you wanted to stay home and nurse her back to health that you called out. For the most part, you had damn near perfect attendance.
But, that’s certainly about to change, and you’re thankful you have a job that’s flexible enough to accommodate the change.
And then there’s the actual getting there. You should have known when Alexis was asking questions about when you and Callie were leaving that she was up to something. You naively chalked it up to her planning her flight out, as there was no way you expected her to wait around for ya’ll to get back. Instead, she was busy buying not just her ticket to come with ya’ll but yours and Callie’s as well.
You instantly felt bad when she forwarded you the itinerary information. You couldn’t see the cost, but you weren’t stupid either. Getting flights out with such short notice had to be expensive as all outdoors. You were just going to put the bill on your credit card and work to pay it off. And, of course, when you offered to pay her back, she nearly cussed you out. As if such an offer was insulting.
“What good is a trust fund if you can’t spend it on your college roomie and pretend godchild?”
So, while you still felt slightly uncomfortable, you were able to push it to the backburner for the sake of Callie. This is all for her, and you don’t care what it takes to make it happen. Even if it means sucking up your pride.
And deep down, you know if Alexis didn’t do what she did, Joe would somehow find a way to compensate you. The same way his ass somehow got his card on file at the hospital and covered all of Callie’s medical bills without ever even asking you if you needed help.
You still haven’t talked to him about that, not really having or finding the right time, but it also feels a bit bitchy and ungrateful to be upset with the man for covering his daughter’s medical expenses.
Then there’s the actual show itself. One thing you were initially concerned about was if Joe has a match lined up for this upcoming week’s show. You two have only had a couple of discussions about it but still enough for you to learn that he’s extremely hesitant to expose Callie to his wrestling persona.
“I don’t want her seeing me like that, thinking that’s who I am.”
And you understand him fully. Roman may be a fascinating character, but he’s equally narcissistic and ruthless as he is intriguing. The complete opposite of Joe and who he is.
Still, you’ve worked to help him understand that talking to Callie, explaining to her that he’s playing a “character” could help her understand better. You both are in agreement that she’s too young to watch actual matches, especially his as they tend to get brutal, but she can see certain promos. And she does. You let her watch a couple where the dialogue is safe enough to go over her head. And truth be told, she’s so focused on watching Joe that she's not really paying attention to what’s being said anyway.
Needless to say, you were massively relieved to hear from Jon that Joe doesn't have a match lined up and his promo is reportedly tame and safe enough for Callie’s eyes and ears. He didn’t give specifics, but from one parent to another parent, you trust his judgment.
And the most important thing of all is the fact that Callie has done a complete 180. She’s no longer as irritable, just the usual attitude when she’s sleepy or hungry. Just like her mama. And there’s that spark of joy in her eyes. She’s even started packing what she wants to bring with her. She knows you’ll only be there for one night, but even that can’t seem to dim her joy.
It makes your heart swell.
All of this brings you to your conclusion that you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.
“Ahhh, and here it is.” The old woman’s voice breaks you from your inner dialogue as she walks toward the counter, returning from the back. “Sorry about that sweetheart.”
“No worries, Mrs. Ella.” Your eyes light when you see the item in her hand, even if it’s covered by a cloth bag. The fact that it’s ready is more than enough to make you smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this.”
She waves off your concern, offering a warm smile. “Your grandma was one of my best friends. As far as I’m concerned, anything you need is a done deal.”
That warms your heart. Mrs. Ella has been the town seamstress for longer than you’ve been alive but doesn’t look a day over 50. She’s not lying either. Your grandma always cited her as one of her “life” sisters.
“Why don’t we take a look to make sure it’s alright?” She offers, removing the item from the garment bag. She takes the hoodie and turns it over so you can see the back.
In awe, you acknowledge, “it’s perfect.”
Among the many things Joe has gifted Callie, WWE apparel hasn’t really been included in that list. You’ve chalked it up to his hesitation about familiarizing her with his Roman persona. However, you know that girl loves her daddy and will support him in all the things, so you took it upon yourself to pick her up a few items over the holidays. One of those things being a black hoodie with Roman’s picture on the front with him wearing one of his head of the table shirts. Wanting to make it special and personal, you had the idea of customizing it. Thus, asking Mrs. Ella to add to the back, Acknowledge my daddy!, and she did a fabulous job. It looks like that was the original design.
Pulling out your wallet, you ask, “how much do I owe you?”
“It’s on the house.”
Your eyes snap to her. “Mrs. Ella, no, this was a rush—”
“Don’t argue with your elders, child,” she scolds, and you smile warmly. “Just show me a picture of her wearing it, and we’ll be even.”
Moved by her generosity, you offer your gratitude again. “Thank you, Mrs. Ella. Seriously. Thank you.”
Hand over yours, she just nods and then ushers you out the door, “well, you better get a move on child.”
With a small laugh and one more thank you, you leave out with the hoodie, excited to show Callie and even more, to see Joe’s reaction when he sees her wearing it.
“Y/N?”
Fuck. You’d know that voice anywhere, have known it since you were five years old.
That doesn’t mean you have to heed to it.
You keep walking.
A stupid decision, because the footsteps behind you become louder and faster as she asks, exasperated, “would you just talk to me?”
You spin around, suddenly pissed at her repeated question. “Why? Why should I talk to you?”
You’ve dodged and ignored her texts the same way she did yours, so what’s the issue now? Being on the receiving end must be one hell of an unpleasant experience for her. Not that you give two shits. Mariah is the last thing on your plate right now.
Mariah seems taken back, and that just pisses you off more. How can she not see her wrong in this situation? “You’re my best friend, Y/N. We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten. Does that mean nothing to you?”
“Did it mean something to you when you were fucking Amir?”
Something you can’t identify flashes in her eyes followed by apparent hurt. “Are you serious right now? You’d really believe him over me.” It’s hard to tell how sincere her watery eyes are or if they’re performative. You’ve never known her to be fake, but then again, maybe you’ve never really known her at all. “That’s fucked up.”
Finding some level of compassion and understanding for the woman you called your best friend for almost your entire life, you try to offer her the benefit of the doubt. “Okay, let’s say you’re not fucking him. At the very least, you’ve been telling him my business while ignoring my texts and calls. Like, what the fuck, Mo?”
She shakes her head. “He came to me, worried about you—”
“He came to you nosy and upset because I cut it off with him, and you fell into his trap.” How she can possibly fall for Amir’s bullshit is beyond you. She knows how he is. Hell, she’s been right beside you, up until recent weeks/months, dealing with his bullshit. So, her excuse is just that—an excuse. “And even if he was, as my best friend, you should know that’s still girl code violation.”
It feels almost silly citing that, but the morals behind it still ring true. You would never talk to Caleb about things going on in her life when you know they’re not on good terms. And you damn sure would never fuck him.
“Girl code?That’s funny coming from you, because you didn’t seem to to care about girl code when you were fucking another woman’s husband and had a whole ass baby for him.”
Her words stop you dead in your tracks. Any facial expression you may have been showing is dropped and neutral. Even your voice is softer, less accusatory. “Excuse me?”
For her to say that to you, knowing how sensitive a subject that is truly takes you by surprise. Truly.
It doesn’t stop there though. “I mean, forreal, Y/N. You’re up in my face about Amir, but aren’t you still fucking Joe? Shit, how many niggas do you need?” It’s hard to believe the words coming out her mouth, so angry and hostile. But, even her volume rising has you stumped. It’s like she wants to draw an audience. “It’s not enough to be one man’s whore, but you still gotta have another on the side?”
Truly baffled, all you can ask is, “where is this coming from?”
She sucks her teeth, just as irritated, if not more by your question. “It’s always been this shit with you. You do whatever the fuck you want and don’t care who you hurt or betray in the process!”
And now you’re just straight up confused, because what have you ever done to her? Cause that’s what it sounds like she’s implying. Like you’ve done her wrong. Like you’ve been doing her wrong. “What are you even talking about?”
“You got Joe. You got Amir. Shit, when is enough enough for you?” She scoffs, and it’s hard for you to even look at her let alone listen to all the hurtful things she’s spewing. “Like damn, find a new hobby. Focus on raising your kid—”
And that…..that is the moment that you’re no longer confused, or hurt, or saddened to hear your best friend say such awful things. You’re pissed. Cause one thing no one can convince you you’re not, is a good mother. You’ve dedicated your entire life and being to taking care of Callie, making sure she’s straight. That’s always been your priority, and for her to suggest otherwise….those are really fighting words.
You step toward her, finding all of the will in the world not to shatter her jaw. “You and I have so much history. It is the only reason I’m not whooping your ass right now, but know this, Mariah. This was your freebie. Fuck with me again, speak on my child again, and I’ll bash your fucking head into the nearest wall.” It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. “Stay away from me, bitch.”
You don’t give her time to respond or even yourself the chance to lay her out, you instead rush to your car, locking the door and speeding out of the parking lot.
Your knuckles are nearly white with how tightly you’re gripping the steering wheel.
It’s been a while since you’ve been this hot. Years maybe. Amir would piss you off, sure, but never to the extent of your emotions in this moment. It truly took all resolve and imagining Callie’s disappointed face at not being able to see her dad because you got yourself locked up for aggravated assault to keep you from beating Mariah’s ass. She knows better than anyone that you don’t play about your daughter, so for her to include Callie in her mud slinging is not only repugnant but hurtful.
She’s supposed to be Callie’s godmother.
But beyond that, you’re having a hard time reconciling with the rest of the things she was saying. It didn’t feel like something that’s been building up over the past few months. No, this was different. Much…..deeper.
Regardless, you don’t have time to deal with this shit. You need to put your focus on preparing to bring your little girl to see her dad.
Mariah can fuck off.
She’s always been all bark and no bite anyway.
________
“Mommy.”
Callie doesn’t even have to say anything else for you to know a request is to follow.
“What's up, sis?”
She climbs on top of where you lay on the sofa, you and Alexis watching some random dating show she swears up and down is the best thing since Love is Blind. So far, you’re entirely unimpressed. Granted, reality shows of any kind have never been your cup of tea in the first place.
Your YouTube history is mostly crime documentaries and Bloodline videos.
She climbs on top of you, throwing her arms up and shouting, “dance party!”
Of all her typical requests, that’s one you haven’t heard in a while.
You’ve always raised Callie with music, even back when you were pregnant, you would take your Beats and place them on your belly. It’s seemingly worked because this child loves music, so much so that you two would have random “dance party’s” where you’d blast music and dance around, no care in the world, just the two of you.
You haven’t had one in a while, but seeing Callie so happy, a stark contrast from how she’s been is more than enough to get you up and on your feet. You look over at Alexis. “Come on, Lex, it’s dance party time.”
She feigns a gasp, looking at Callie for approval. “Do I get to come to this party?”
Callie giggles and jumps on the sofa. “Of course! Everyone can come to dance party!”
What’s also ironically funny is the fact that you and Alexis used to have dance parties all the time in your dorm, just often with much more explicit Travis Porter, Speaker Knockerz, type music and a lot of ass shaking.
“Well tonight, it’s just the three of us,” you laugh, grabbing your phone and opening your Spotify to figure out what will be your kickoff song. It’s when your eyes land on that one though, you know you’ve found it.
Connecting your phone to your Bluetooth, you confirm the connection and hit play.
We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea
But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be
“My favorite white girl song ever!” Alexis shouts, starting to dance with Callie who’s just as excited about your selection. Together, the three of you dance and sing when the iconic chorus hits.
If you gave me a chance I would take it
It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it
Know with all of your heart, you can't shake me
When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be
At some point, Alexis grabs your phone, recording and capturing the laughter and joy you experience dancing and being silly with your very, very best friend. Callie’s laughter could revive any soul, and it’s so genuine. Even more, you know a large chunk of it is her excitement to see her dad in a couple of days.
And that makes it all the more special.
Eventually needing a break and time to catch your breath, you laugh as the song ends and the next one starts. Lex and Callie immediately go at it for round two, spinning around and dancing to Dance the Night.
You take a second to check your phone, seeing that you have a Snapchat from Joe. Frowning, you open the message confused as to why he’s using that and not just text. He only has the damn app because you made him get it. He’s not very big on social media outside of occasional Instagram posts.
Swiping it open, you see why he was messaging you on there.
Because your wonderful best friend sent him the video she recorded of the three of you dancing.
Joe: How do I save this?
Joe: Fuck it. It’s too confusing. Just send it to me.
Laughing, you chew on your bottom lip and type out a reply.
You: You’re such an old man. 😩
You: But yes, I’ll send it, even if I didn’t know Alexis was recording to send it to you...
You: Callie loves “dance parties” lol
Joe: I love her laugh. She looks so happy…
You: I know. ❤️ She loves music. Def my kid.
You: Skillet is next on the queue, btw. 🙃
Joe: Don’t know what that is, but if I had to take a guess, it’s some rock shit.
You: You know me so well. 😊
Joe: Of course, baby.
Leaving his thread, you realize that if she sent it to Joe, she probably posted it to your private story as well, which is fine. You only have people on there you know and trust to keep the contents within that space.
But, it’s in checking the views that you see Mariah not only watched but screen recorded your story. It’s strange, normally you wouldn’t think twice about it. She’s always screenshotted and screen recorded stuff you posted, and you did the same with Micah.
But now…..
Now, it feels wrong to share these moments with her. She’s lost that privilege.
Moving to your contacts, you ignore her old Snapchat name she never uses anymore and instead just block her primary one from seeing your stories, and that includes close friends. And interestingly enough, when you check your texts, you see one from her muted thread that momentarily causes you to pause.
Mariah: Kinda stupid to ice out the one person who knows everything about you.
But the pause comes and goes, Mariah always says shit, and that’s where it stops, the saying. She’s always been the mouse of you two, and that shit ain’t changed.
Closing up the app, you switch back to Spotify and focus on what’s before you and not behind you.
You have all the people you need in your life.
Mariah can fuck off.
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
PLEASE STOP COPYING FICS ‼️
I am by no means gatekeeping concepts or tropes. We all know that it’s normal to see the same tropes or AUs be used differently, and that is not plagiarism. However, I recently found a fic that was oddly similar to my old (and discontinued) Gojo x Reader series, Reckless. The CEO! Gojo is nothing new, and neither is an accidental pregnancy trope. The only reason I am concerned is because this Gojo series I found has the exact same themes as Reckless that consists of: a playboy CEO Gojo with a very notorious reputation, a poor reader who is an employee and asset to the company (someone who works closely with Gojo), reader getting knocked up from a one night stand with Gojo, reader with a seemingly dead/absent mother yet still in contact with her father, Gojo with a very traditional family who does not like reader, and Gojo with an ex he struggles to let go of - which are all elements of Reckless.
The first chapter of that Gojo fic is also eerily similar to my first chapter with the same flow of: YN finding out she’s pregnant and her friend being there for her, Gojo saying he’ll take responsibility because ‘they both made the baby’, YN having to move in with Gojo to take care of the baby, and both of them coming to a mutual agreement that their ‘relationship’ will be purely for the baby’s benefit. The flow of events and specific details about the characters’ backgrounds are too similar to mine.
Again, I am not gatekeeping concepts, just as how I’ve had other writers ask me if they could write their own stories or takes based off of the NAOYA’S TROPHY WIFE COLLECTION or the BONTEN HUSBANDS EXCLUSIVE, and I’m fine with that. I’m even happy people are inspired by what I write. But being inspired is completely different from taking someone’s story and posting it as yours. Please trust your own creativity and skills in writing. You can write amazing stories and have people love them without having to steal from others.
It’s sad to say this is not the first time I, and other writers, have been plagiarized. It’s even more upsetting to know that a friend of mine who has also written a Gojo series (that I’m sure you all know and dearly love) experiences the same issues with the same person. The fact that this is happening to many writers out there is disheartening. We work hard and pour a lot of love in the stories we create. None of us are getting paid for this, and we simply want to share our passions with others. So please, let us be kinder with one another and show love and support the right way. If you love a fic, you give feedback and rb/comment + show support to the writer. You don’t steal their ideas and play it off as your own because you liked it.
#for context: my Reckless series was posted around 2021 and this new Gojo series I found was posted in 2023 (when I was already in my hiatus)#i’m just... this is so upsetting. i have been in love with jjk for so long but i won’t lie and say the fandom hasn’t given me problems :(#there always seems to be drama or issue going around... why can’t we just all enjoy reading x reader fics in peace#if its not hate anons or discourse it’s plagiarism. it’s tiring#this is one of the reasons why i moved fandoms after my jjk works. because i used to love it sm but i just felt stressed out#and imagine my shock when i saw my friend got plagiarized bcos no way you guys are doing this to someone who worked hard on a fic for YEARS#imagine my double shock when i see that writer’s page and see a similar work to mine too like 😭 c’mon guys. you guys have big brains.#you can write something juicy and awesome without ripping it off from others#and please do not send hate to this creator at all! that is not the intention of this post. i will also not be dropping any names.#now i’m aware i take inspos from other media too - i say it often that my fics take inspo from k-dramas or songs#but i take inspirations only. i do not copy the entire thing and then tweak one minor detail to make it ‘a little different’
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
29 asks! Thank you!! :))) 🛝
@skatermusic
Oh boy.. dare I even look.. 😅💀
@holly-opal
AAAAAA THANK YOUUU!!!! :DDDD
@anikakitty11
Oo! It all looks so yummy! 😋😋😋
@cat7890
Unfortunately due to my poor health, I'm unable to work on it atm.. hopefully I can get back to it someday! <:)
Oooo!! I'm surprised by the tender hearted motive! Perhaps I should give this game a look.. 👀👀
I have actually never heard of this challenge-- so yeah, I have nothing planned for it <XD
A little yeah :00 Everyone is almost exactly what you'd think they'd look like <XD Barnacles has white hair, Kwazii has orange hair, Peso has black hair.. etc.
@artistiemi
Its fiiiiine <XDD
@mahlifeissad
ooo :00 Sounds tasty! Thank you for the recipe! :))
They're intended to be there yeah. But I STILL. HAVE NOT PLAYED THE GAME. 💀 So I don't know any of the games lore and how to incorporate them into my story- <XDDD
XD Emmet has a few strong words for Arceus..
@uallstupid
Woah.. who is that guy? Is he actually a cyborg?? :00
XD I get that comment a lot actually- and I take no offence! I see the resemblance! XDD
@skatermusic
<XD Silly Barnacles!
(In response to this post)
And there's likely more where that came from!! :DDD
@chromchill (In response to this post)
Haha! XDD I'm afraid :))
@beryl-shade
I've seen 8-BitRyan play it. I like the concept and the RUIN like style it seems to have.. though I'm not a huge fan of how the animatronics/characters look in game..
I'd like them to be bigger. And either clearly fully animatronic or fully living animal. They some how look kiiind'a somewhere in between..? <:0
@justvibinginvoid (Referencing this post)
XDD Well as I get further into the show, more fanart from me is likely! :)) I'm glad you liked it!! :DDD
@gizmos-n-gadgets
Its been a while since I made their designs so I don't remember much.. but I think I tool a lot of inso from Navy/Marine/ocean?? Military?? Uniforms <XDD
Oooo :0 sounds like a slick tool! Thanks for telling me about it! :)
(In response to this post)
NOOO NOT BEAKER TOO XDDD (I assume you meant Beaker-)
@emmetest (In response to this post)
XDD They're still dealing with Kermit!!
(In response to this post)
I'd be lying if it didn't seriously discourage me at first.. but then everyone rushing to support me reminded me why I post here in the first place. :))
I'm so honored to hear that my artwork helps you through your depressive times. That make's two of us! XDD I hope to keep posting for people like you that really benefit from it <:))) thank you so much and I wish you well 💞💖💞💞
@untitled-7613
😔
(In response to this post)
You know? With how long I've been ill for.. the thought of trying to sell stickers or some kind of merch has crossed my mind more than once..
@tallchest13-blog
XD There ARE humans in their world for sure. Though they don't have a trainer. It felt weird to kind'a.. insert myself into the world..? Or someone that was meant to take my place.. And I like that with the absence of a trainer, Gloria is the leader of the group and everyone looks to her for guidance. :)
They mostly just travel from place to place. Staying away from humans due to their recent attempts to catch Anastasia.. Sleeping in caves or abandoned structures.. looking for food and sparring with each other. Just living life :))
And I am 3 days late to respond to this <XDD
<XDDD I'm sorry- but who are Bingus and dent?? XDD
@hershelwidget
AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DD IM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT IM YOUR FAVORITE ARTIST AND THAT YOU'VE GOTTEN BACK INTO PIXEL ART BECAUSE OF MEEEE 😭😭💞💖😭💞
@stupid-thatsme (Post in question)
Thank you!! Though I'm not sure I understand the question.. <XD But I have a comic I'm thinking about making that shows how Grimace mega evolved! :DD
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
erod and his adventures with finnish media aka i think my job is to make mikksy giggle and provide emotional support and i will do my job well!
"imma support you" he says as he gives mikksy a good back pat so he understands that heres here for him and is making space for him. mikksy nodding along like yes very well i expected this thank you you will be the court jester by my side yes
their banter is so toptier "youre half finnish" and erods absolutely JOY when he processes it that he got mikksy of all people admitted him as half finnish like yeah you ARE RIGHT. I AM. I KNOW THE MOST FINNISH ON THE TEAM FOR A NOT-FINN the absolute pride that puffed up in him as being admitted into the finns i did not have mikksy teasing erod about being half finnish in my bingo card and yet here we are
mikksy interupting the finnish reporter just to get one last dig in "you can answer too" and erods just utterly delighted mikksy is being this playful i absolutely cannot stand the way they both look away (mikksy at the reporter to lock back in, erod to giggle into his lap before he cant help but look back at mikksy and their eyes meet in a beautiful- i have to stop myself here before i write romantic prose) and mikksy immediately taking the smile off his fave to focus because YEAH YOU NUMBSKULLS YOURE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERVIEW YOU ARE NOT AT A DINNER DATE GOING WHERE THE MOOD TAKES YOU. FOCUS. LOCK TF IN.
when your secret husband teammate starts actually focusing on the interview and youre alone to your own devices listening to all the finnish and going from happy to be here! to oh dear god what are they saying my rudimentary finnish can only take me so far. you can see the way the cogs in brains are turning slowly and he's trying to recall words hes learned to get any semblance of whats being said but its fast paced for him he just gets lost and the big ass grin he got from mikksy teasing just slowly starts to fall...
not a single thought in that brain of his... the lights are on but no ones home...
the many faces of erod as he tries to say the only finnish words he knows "ah can i go now- no."
nows my chance i can make my secret husband ah i mean teammate giggle see i know finnish look how well im doing please look at me! "kiitos" he looks like a puppy waiting for approval and he got it mikksys proud little nod like yes thats a word good job you remembered and you used it in a- well certainly in a context not really the best context- you know what it doesnt matter good job
this is what i imagine its like when you take your secret husband teammate home to your parents and are like "okay after the several months of finnish lessons ive drilled into you to make a good impression on my parents so they like you and see youre assimilating my culture into our relationship and respect us do you remember what to say?" "kiitos :)" "...good enough. youre canadian its okay theyll be impressed with that. just sit there and look pretty and let me do the talking okay dear?" "kiitos :)" "just like that sweetheart keep it up 👍"
edmonton oilers @ florida panthers game 2 postgame interview | 6.10.24 (x)
#niko mikkola#evan rodrigues#florida panthers#2324#playoffs 24#the thrilling video evidence of erod staying for mikksys finnish interview portion#i felt like i walked into a secret marriage i wasnt supposed to know about#shorter goofball gets the tall hot babe tale as old as time#this is the insightful commentary yall wanted right#im sorry i cant hear anything over the romantic novella im concocting about these teo#ah so all it takes to get mikksy to smile is to be funny and have rizz as they kids say#if they werent in the midst of an interview that back and forth banter would NOT have stopped im telling you that much ☝️#erod thinks hes such hot shit for making mikksy chuckle and hes so right#“you are half-finnish” is that a marriage proposal#or rather are you people already MARRIED#also i think mikksy replies with “sellain” after roddy says kiitos but i wasnt sure so i didnt want to add it#please someone who actually knows finnish tell me#roddy constantly touching mikkola....okay...
60 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello blu! Can you tell us a more about your other AU? Theater
I'm surprised you even heard of the AU. I keep trying to draw and make content for it just for the AU to get overshadowed by a different interest so many times
Anyways
BROKEN THEATRE AU
This is the only refs I made for the characters:
Inspired by The Show That Goes Wrong this AU is about a theatre company with big dreams but terrible outputs. Just for AU reasons, they are all terrible people. Like genuinely, they are all egotistical and even fight each other a lot (it's normal) but in the end, they all love each other and have a close bond to this group they have formed found family core
Unfortunately, I wasn't a theatre kid so my knowledge for this AU isn't going to be accurate.
But I had @rae-ven13 to help me out with it and I made her co-writer for this forgotten AU
More explanation of the AU down here
the theatre group, the characters, and more doodles I made! :D
Welcome Home Organisation of Real Entertainment
This is the name of their little theatre group, only consists of 8 members, with Home (Wally's rich father) to support the organization.
It started out with Sally and Barnaby having a double act show together in college, with the help of Frank and Poppy backstage too.
Then when they graduated Sally found Wally and manipulated befriended him to convince his dad for a show. Which he agreed, only as long as he gets to join the group too.
And that's how they got the organization to this day
Bonus: Barnaby came up with the name for their theatre group, and Sally learned not to give him that trust ever again.
MEET THE CREW
Sally Starlet
Role: The Director, The Writer, Actress
She started the whole group and made herself the leader.
Sally believes she is surrounded by amateurs, her actors are immature and full of problems. But no reason, she is a great director despite the anger and outburst caused by these people. Of course, she believes he is the best out of all of them and would've have a great show if she had gotten a little more respect. But in the end, without her, this group would be lost and confused.
Barnaby B. Beagle
Role: Actor, Writer
He is a self proclaimed co-leader to Sally despite the arguments they always have. Barnaby is actually the most egotistical in the group. One of the reasons he considers Wally as his best friend is because they can both be shitty people together. He's a little mean to the others and has a hierarchy built in his head. But the gang still loves him, no one slanders him for his actions and it made Barnaby have a soft spot for them too. He doesn't mean to be such a jerk, he genuinely cares.
Poppy Partridge
Role: Actress, Tech
She started out helping tech work with Frank since she's too scared to act. But there was an accident that got Sally knocked out temporarily and she had to replace her. She was scared, but as the show goes on she actually enjoyed acting, even though she had to wrestle with Sally for the role throughout the show. But after that chaos, Sally has never been more excited to finally give Poppy acting roles on stage.
Frank Frankly:
Role: Head Tech, Stage Manager
Sally tricked him to join by saying their shows will give extra credit. He still sticks around anyway and became Sally's most reliable and sane member of the group. Although he is overworked and stressed out mostly due to the whole stage keep crumbling over. His temper was just as bad as Sally's and they can be seen arguing a lot (If it's not Sally and Barnaby, then it's Sally and Frank) But, he's proud to be the most reliable member of the group and also the voice of reason.
Wally Darling
Role: Actor, Prop Design
He knew from the beginning that Sally was manipulating him and he still lets her have her show, only if she lets him join. Wally just wants to be a lil shit and play pranks, sometimes with Barnaby too. He's not good at acting and people would see him as a spoiled brat because his adoptive dad owns the theatre 💅✨✨✨ But he grew to love this group he's in and would always ask Home to keep supporting it.
Eddie Dear
Role: Actor, Tech, and Prop Design
He is supposed to be only tech, but Sally needed more actors and forced him into it. The problem is that Eddie keeps forgetting his lines and cues. It would lead to the entire plot being derailed. He even spoiled the plot twist by doing his cue way too early. It's frustrating that it happens, but to his surprise no one yelled at him for forgetting, he didn't get fired for it too.
Howdy Pillar
Role: Actor, Tech
He is the best out of everyone here. It's not an opinion, Howdy is an amazing actor and singer, he's very helpful in backstage works, but he's always overshadowed by others that people barely notices his talents. The only person that actually noticed him is Wally but Howdy doesn't have a nice impression towards him for being spoiled. Other than that he stayed humble and everyone still considers him an important member of the group.
Julie Joyful
Role: Actress
The newest member of the group! She used to be famous with her sisters until Julie lost her status and got cancelled online (idk what she did yet). Sally took this as her chance to invite Julie to the group so that they can probably gain some fame for it. She started out as a high status mean girl, she's cold and cruel, takes acting in this terrible show way too seriously. Sally considers her to be her best actress. But then also, Julie slowly takes the mask off the longer she stays with them and she's just as zany as the others, the most unhinged out of all of them to be honest.
So idk if I'm going to do any more content with this AU, if people are interested I might draw more. Glad these see the light of day, they've been sitting in my google docs for months.
ANYWAYS Here's a few more doodles
Text: The set is created upside down & Sally's character is on her death bed
(It's also a redraw of a scene in the show that goes wrong)
old art ew
#welcome home#welcome home fanart#welcome home arg#welcome home fandom#welcome home puppet show#wally darling#welcome home au#welcome home wally#julie welcome home#barnaby welcome home#welcome home barnaby#wally welcome home#welcome home julie#wally darling welcome home#welcome home wally darling#welcome home au fanart#welcome home art#welcome home alternate universe#welcome home artist#wally drawing#wh wally#wally darling fanart#wally fanart#sally welcome home#sally starlet#wh sally#wh julie#julie joyful#barnaby beagle fanart#barnaby fanart
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
How Jungkook acts in romantic relationships
There’s something really funny. After I did a reading on Jungkook’s future spouse, suddenly my readings became biased, lame I’m ugly and stupid and I should burn in hell. Consider this reading as my response to all your crying in my inbox ✌🏻✌🏻
Anyway that man is always so talkative that I think I should put him in my favorite to read people. And just as always this is Jungkook’s opinion on himself but in his case it is also what he wants from a romantic relationship.
I see that Jungkook loves to surprise his partner. He likes to go out on spontaneous dates but at the same time those aren’t dates. It’s more like spontaneously hanging out together whenever he has time. It’s more about him calling his significant other at two am sharp, because he’s hungry and he was wondering if you’d like to tag along with him for a car ride to a restaurant. That’s what he’s trying to say to me. He loves some unpredictability, fun mixed with being bored together,
I don’t see him wanting to share his wealth with his partner. No, he will not buy his partner a sports car. That ace of cups is paired with the emperor. At first I thought it’s about Jungkook liking to be the leader in a relationship but that’s not it. The emperor is also the archetype of positive masculinity. That means this man likes to show his love through tiny acts of love (the acre is the beginning, it’s the offer of abundance but it’s a small one). He will show his love by doing small things for you like washing your car, doing the dishes in your apartment when you’re gone, gives you his jacket when you’re cold. It’s about this masculine energy that loves to give and take care of others. However there’s a one small detail that is leaking through. He might be scared of giving his love to a wrong person “a waste of time”, so it might take a while for him to start acting like that and be his true self in front of a new partner,
Don’t get me wrong this man’s energy is very masculine, there’s barely anything feminine about him therefore he will most likely take the lead in a relationship, he just won’t be too pushy about it, he has the authority but at the same time he will listen to what his partner wants to please them, he is the dominant one without having to push his dominance. A soft masculine
In the next row we have the 5 of pentacles rev, 3 of swords rev and the 10 of cups. Jungkook is a team player and he has a mindset that goes like “ if my partner falls down I’m here to pick them up”. He isn’t the type to pull away when the world seems to be against him, his significant other or both of them at the same time. He wants to hurt and heal together. To be on the same page, to always support one another to build something great and meaningful together. Walk together towards a better future.
Here’s the part where Jungkook presents himself as a knight in shiny armor. Idk it made me think of a scene from a rom com. This romantic cliche scenes that I don’t even have to explain but with those 2 of swords I don’t think acting like that comes super easy for him. He loves romance, he follows his heart but that seems like something his old self would do. There’s still some romance in this man’s head but there’s this other side to him that is represented by the 7 of pentacles. This version of him is much more stable, that takes things slow. He wants something long term right now and is looking towards the future but it’s the opposite of what his old self wants. He doesn’t know if he should choose a passionate romance or a stable and slow relationship. I think he had trouble finding both in one person but he seems like he can do both. But his old self is fighting with his new and experienced version of him. The man that he has become over the years.
And the last row that speaks about how little time he has for dating. He often has to be at two places at once so he is always running errands. Sometimes he can’t see his significant other for a long time, has to change his plans, postpone the dates. Sometimes he might even come off as rude and hot tempered, but he might be just stressed from all the work. And he wants to be a good boyfriend but it frustrates him that he can’t so he might project his feelings and blow up at his partner for nothing. He’s not mad at his partners, he is mad at himself. In reality he is trying so hard to spend time with his s/o but he feels like he is failing at this part of his life. Jungkook has trouble finding balance in his life, he puts most of his energy into working and he doesn’t know how to stop so he neglects people around him. But at least he is trying.
50 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
goldbronze16
İsimsiz
wurst2676x1-blog
Untitled
sutawata
sutasuta
theellipelli
ROSE ROSE
luminousdarkness76-blog
не от мира сего