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#jen talking to you guys
wineonmytshirt · 1 year
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thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers thank you gifmakers
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hi everyone, this is Jen!! (aka @danceinmybestdress aka @mayangelsleadyouin) I wanted to make a backup swiftie account just in case something happens with my usual one since it was shadowbanned or whatever and i have ✨anxiety✨ — gonna tag some mutuals below the cut so you know it’s me. Will probably use this account rarely HOWEVER ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
***I am going to be sending messages about/giving updates on my giveaway (and future giveaways😱) from this blog with the hope that I am not taken off the tumblr grid again*** ☠️☠️
@intomymelancholia @notesonartistry @wtnytv @mustlikemeforme @1989tv @iamthevigilanteshit @dancingwithourhands @stood-onthecliffside @aslowmotionlovepotion @maimyoutoo @itsthedamnseason @delicatetaylorsversion @fountainpensongs @ohh-goddamn @starlighttaylorsversion @blushingallthewayhome @reputation @scaredofghosts @snownonthebeach @cherryslips @thefancyshit @wholeplaceshimmerr @taylorswifff @youreonyourownkid @youmeetyourself @dress @crypticand-machiavellian @highinfidelity @noahlcyrus @highinfildelity @askforthetab @myawesomemixtape @ithinkheknowss @tolerateit @actual-sleeping-beauty @missegyptiana @flowersgrowback @fightwithyouinmysleep @vigilanteshit @heystephcn @limelights @likedaylighht @crisisofmy-faith @kingofmyborrowedheart @withothergirlsinlove @dancingaroundit @staybeautiful @proudtobeaswiftie
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starkwlkr · 3 months
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4.5k followers!!! you’re all amazing and i love you all!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼
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manichewitz · 2 months
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theatre life is not real. i have an audition next week for a black swan musical written by dave molloy. and i have to just be normal about that
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Me, my friend, and her daughter (she's 5) were walking at the park today and her daughter just reached up and grabbed my hand and held my hand for like 5 minutes while we were walking and i almost started crying
#she didn't want me to leave when i was leaving 🥺#we saw a little baby mouse in the visitor's center at the park and got the people there to rescue it and she wanted to pet it so bad 🥺#i think my new best friend is a 5 year old little girl even though I'm really awkward around kids#like what do you talk to them about? hello child i am 23 and depressed but you are 5 and adorable pls don't ever grow up#i gave her a bee i crocheted bc it was from a kit that andrew got me and it was supposed to be a 'turtle bee' where it was a turtle and you#took it's shell off and it was a bee. i only ever got around to making the bee part and then we broke up and i couldnt look at it anymore so#i gave it to her and she's like why doesn't it have a mouth and my first thought was well kid I didn't feel like looking at it anymore and#you'll appreciate it more than i will so you can have it even without the mouth.#im debating on giving her the squishmallow he gave me. cause it's currently wedged between my bed and the wall#but it's cam and he was my favorite squishmallow before Andrew got it for me. like i already had one this one is a different edition#so like i want to keep it bc it's a Christmas sweater cam. but i dont want to keep it bc ouchy memories. and she'd get more use out of it#than it being wedged between my bed and the wall so i dont have to look at it#we were driving back from this store bc her mom had to pick up a uhaul and she was too small to ride with her so she got to ride with me#and this poor little 5 year old had to carry the conversation bc i didnt know what to talk to her about 😂 she's like what do you do when#you're home and im like don't tell her you lay in bed all day you can't tell the chils you're depressed and im like i like to read and play#with my animals and crochet. she was very jealous that i have cats. and when we were driving back from the park i had music on and her mom#and me were talking and shes like I CAN'T HEAR THE MUSIC GUYS and her mom goes that's her way of telling us to shut up. and then we stopped#talking and she's like i still can't hear the music 🙄 so i turned it up some and im like jen im introducing your daughter to waterparks 😂
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serostuffsmh · 6 months
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I AM COLOR BLIND. A RED FLAG IS A GREEN ONE TO ME IF HE WILL TAKE CARE OF ME.
ITS A TRAP, BABE. HE’LL INFANTILIZE YOU AND GET OVERLY POSSESSIVE TO THE POINT YOU CANT TALK TO TALK TO OTHER MEN BECAUSE YOU’RE HIS “little princess”.
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ruvviks · 1 year
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– Playground.
Characters >> Vitali Dobrynin (oc), a bunch of oc side characters Total >> 5.3k words Warnings >> Alcohol, drugs, NSFW (public :^/, unprotected, rough, mentions of other sexual activities which are most definitely questionable choices on Vitali’s end), some mentions of semi-gendered pre-op body parts on a trans man’s body Context >> Vitali is in college and has lost contact with both his family and his best friend, leaving him mostly to his own devices and he’s not handling it very well
‘Hey, that’s- that’s my dress!’
‘So? You’re not wearing it-’
‘You fucking slut- Give it back!’
‘No!’
Vitali found himself in a spacious bathroom, positioned at the double sink made from black marble in front of a large mirror covering most of the wall. He was surrounded by girls- Jen’s friends, people he did not know by name and did not want to get to know better- and largely ignored their high-pitched shrieking while carefully applying his eyeliner.
They had a party at a local BD club; a fancy one at that, one session costing nearly as much as three months rent, but with her parents’ money Jen had been able to rent the place for the night. The party itself would be anything but fancy, though- Vitali knew exactly what kind of people were going to show up, and already felt a bit sorry for next day’s cleaning crew.
‘You going to run off by yourself again, babe?’ Jen asked, popping up right next to him without warning and startling him to the point he nearly ruined his makeup. ‘We’re gonna smoke pot on the roof terrace with Stacey’s boyfriend and his chooms.’
‘Nick’s there,’ Vitali bluntly answered.
‘Gross! V, Jesus- Just come with me?’
‘Don’t wait up.’
Vitali cared very little for Jen’s plans. He did not even like her- and he knew the feeling was most definitely mutual, yet Jen kept him around because he was the only straight-A student willing to share his notes and homework with her.
‘Bite his dick off when you’re done with him,’ Jen said, plucking Vitali’s eyeliner out of his hand the moment he lowered it to put it down with the rest of his stuff. ‘Don’t let him use you like that.’
‘Paying customer,’ Vitali shrugged in response. ‘I need cash.’
Jen rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t we all.’
Vitali glanced around. Not really, no.
He quickly gathered all his hair behind his head and pulled it in a bun; his signature style at this point, but the only one he was comfortable with- while sober, at least.
Jen reached out for him again, eyeliner already back on the sink despite not having been used by her yet, and she opened the two top buttons of his cropped, short-sleeved button-up to reveal part of his chest. No binder, that night- or anything else for that matter- unnecessary, since no one cared anyway and everyone knew he was a man.
Those who dared to question it always ended up unrecognizable for a week or two.
‘If you’re gonna whore yourself out do it properly at least,’ Jen mumbled. ‘Already wearing long jeans- show some skin, babe.’
‘My tits are going to fall out.’ Vitali tried to protest, but Jen clicked her tongue over his complaining and pulled his light blue denims up a bit higher by the waistband.
‘They’re good tits, V. People should be grateful to get a glimpse of that.’
Alright, she had a point. Still, Vitali redid one of the buttons.
He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror while Jen grabbed his eyeliner again and leaned forward to start applying it. The other girls paid them no attention, still yelling at each other about their clothes and whoever it was they all wanted to hook up with that night-
Except for Stacy, of course. But if anything she was the only one there in need of a better output.
‘We finish at 2 AM,’ Jen said. ‘No minute later. Leaving for my father’s bar- we can get the good stuff there, then we’ll split up for Clouds and- well, whatever food place is still open, probably, for whoever doesn’t wanna go.’ A pause. ‘You listening?’
‘2 AM for afterparty at your father’s bar,’ Vitali answered, absently brushing a loose strand of hair out of his face.
‘Clouds after?’
‘No thanks.’
‘Whatever. Your loss.’
It’s a terrible place. I’m not losing anything.
Vitali clenched his jaw, but wisely did not respond anymore.
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1:38 AM.
Vitali was wasted, yet unnoticeably so as always; looking as exhausted and absent as he always did, thousand yard stare into nothing while slowly navigating through the dense crowd of the club, face and arms by then already covered in neon body paint.
Wasted, and high; while he was not liked by his peers all that much, he had still been offered enough drags from joints for the effects to take place. He knew they still contained nicotine, and he had made someone the promise to stop smoking, but-
Well, that someone wasn’t there. Not anymore.
The music was loud, even with his earbuds in. Vitali had spent hours on the dancefloor already, first with Jen and some other girls, then with Jackie who had unexpectedly showed up- had briefly made out with him, even, two separate times- and then with a few random guys he had never seen before, some of which had also had the pleasure of getting a taste of Vitali’s lips.
He left the club’s main hall, darting into the hallway with the restrooms and braindance corners. Some people stumbled right into him and he was met with some laughter and yelled apologies- he politely smiled back and forcefully pushed them aside, moving deeper into the hallway.
His eyes were pulled into some of the BD rooms- people sitting on dirty couches wearing special headsets, hands stuffed in their own clothes, or others’ clothes- or hands explicitly traveling over bodies, clothes already on the floor- while making the most obscene noises, audible above the music.
Were it not for the man standing close by, waiting for him, Vitali would have joined.
He recognized him, even in the dark and with his limited eyesight now that he was under the influence of several things at once. A tall figure, broad-shouldered, pretty-faced- covered in neon body paint as well, several smudges decorating his cheeks and lips, telling Vitali he was not going to be the first of the night.
‘Vito.’
Nick could barely stand on his legs anymore, swaying from side to side as he reached for Vitali’s waist and dragged him closer, lips finding his with ease- he tasted like overly expensive wine, tobacco, and chewing gum.
‘Nicky,’ Vitali replied into the kiss, grabbing the man’s hips and dragging him with until his own back was pressed solidly against the wall of the hallway and they were out of the way for people passing by. ‘Where have you been?’
‘Around,’ was the only answer he received. Nick leaned in and pressed his lips against Vitali’s neck, hands eagerly traveling over his body- a man of actions, and especially when piss drunk he usually wasted no time.
Vitali hummed in response and rested his head against the wall as Nick began to grind against him; lips curled up into a small smile the moment he felt a bulge press prominently against his thigh.
‘Have been waiting for you,’ Nick mumbled, pressing their bodies together as close as he could while reaching for Vitali’s hair and undoing his bun. ‘Worried you wouldn’t show.’
‘Don’t.’ Vitali repositioned himself against the wall and shook his head a bit, hair dropping down past and over his shoulders, some strands falling forward and covering his face. ‘When I inevitably ditch you I will let you know.’
Nick grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged on it hard to tilt Vitali’s head up and to kiss the underside of his jaw. Vitali allowed him- strangely aroused by Nick’s rough eagerness, and strangely comfortable in his locked position against the wall.
He did not worry. If Nick would truly hurt him, Vitali could break his skull with ease if he wanted to. And Nick knew that.
‘Vito- Relax, baby.’
Nick had clearly noticed the remaining tension in Vitali’s body, and he looked up again and smiled. ‘Wanna grab a room?’
Vitali blinked slowly and glanced around- and made direct eye-contact with another guy a few feet away, chest pressed against the wall, hips rolling back into the thrusts of his partner.
He turned his head back to Nick and leaned closer-
‘Just get it over with.’
Vitali took out his earbuds and allowed the music from the club to swallow him whole, surrendering himself to the overwhelming sensations clouding his mind. Nick immediately pressed him hard into the wall, lips on his neck again, hands traveling down- briefly fumbling with Vitali’s pants before yanking them down- and finding their way to him, like countless times before.
‘Damn, baby,’ he breathed, his teeth grazing past Vitali’s skin and his fingers running over him. ‘Got nothing for me?’
‘Medication side effects,’ Vitali plainly answered, dipping his head to press it against Nick’s shoulder.
Motherfucker. You haven’t made me wet since your first chance.
Why Vitali kept coming back, he was no longer sure. He needed the distraction, he guessed- though plenty of men around to fuck, so why Nick?
Safety, familiarity. Nicky was not good, but he was desperate- and respectful as he could be, unprejudiced and surprisingly smart enough to know better than to use the wrong words in a certain context.
Yes, even when barely present anymore because of whatever he had been smoking or drinking. That was probably why Vitali couldn’t stay away.
Nick pulled the top buttons of Vitali’s shirt open, pushing the left of it aside to reveal part of his bare chest. Vitali allowed him to move his head down and get closer, press his tongue against him- and to grab his chest and squeeze hard while his tongue licked all the way back up to Vitali’s jaw.
Yes, it felt good. No, Vitali was not all that impressed anymore. Nick had a limited set of tricks which he cycled through and- even though Vitali always stayed open-minded and patient with others- it was starting to bore him a bit.
‘You look good,’ Nick breathed, fingers making a messy attempt at jerking Vitali off as his other hand ran through his hair again. ‘Dressed up for me?’
‘Sure,’ Vitali replied, gently tugging on his own shirt until the other half of his chest was also exposed to the hot and stuffy air of the club. Nick took the bait without hesitation, teeth grazing past Vitali’s hardened nipple as he moaned against his skin.
And Vitali surrendered again, raising his arms above his head and draping them over his hair as he rolled his hips forward on the beat of the music and allowed Nick to touch him wherever he pleased. His head was starting to spin a little, throbbing in his half-pulled down boxer briefs as he yearned for more stimulation, dry humping the air.
Oh, what a good distraction it was. No more worries about anything- just him, a partner- or two, or three, on other occasions- the heat between them and the building tension in his body. The loud music was a nice touch; as were the noises of other people’s pleasure surrounding him- at least, what he could hear of it.
Nick had lowered his own pants now, hand rapidly pumping up and down as quick relief- and he did not waste any time, grabbing Vitali’s underwear and pulling it down far enough to be able to force his legs apart and he rubbed himself eagerly over Vitali’s crotch, throbbing, and already moaning in his ear.
And then he slowly pushed in- ‘Mmh-! So tight…’- deeper and deeper- ‘Fuck, baby- feels so fucking good…’- and Vitali rolled his eyes as he wrapped his arms tightly around Nick’s broad shoulders, a quiet gasp leaving his lips when he bottomed out way too soon. A girl passed by them, her eyes finding Vitali’s- and she leaned over Nick, standing on her tiptoes, to kiss Vitali and push her tongue into his mouth.
A heavenly distraction from those first few thrusts, she tasted like sweetened liquor and candy- her hands soft and soothing on Vitali’s skin as she cupped his face and hummed contently into the kiss. She let go, yet kept their heads as steady in place as the light bounce of Vitali’s body allowed and she watched until his eyes glossed over, and a shaky sigh of relief finally left his lips.
‘Good boy,’ she mouthed at him, and for a split second Vitali wondered if she was even real- a complete stranger, like most others from earlier that night, yet so sweet and gentle to the point Vitali doubted her entire existence. Mind playing tricks on him, possibly-
But the girl kissed him again and that sweet, overwhelming taste of liquor and candy convinced him otherwise, and for a brief moment it was as if Nick was not there at all.
They parted, and Vitali sighed once more as he rested his face against Nick’s, hands grabbing the back of his hair as he was lifted up a bit at the next, deep thrust. He watched the girl take out a black marker, and allowed her to leave her number on the backside of his arm-
He would not call her back. She deserved better than him.
‘You’ve been saving yourself for me,’ Nick falsely stated between grunts as the girl wandered off again, his lips wet against Vitali’s skin and his hands tightly locking his hips in place.
‘Bold assumption,’ Vitali merely responded, vividly recalling his quickie in the communal restroom of the college dorm of Stacey’s boyfriend with said man, from only the day before.
‘Hey, now. Be nice.’
Nick slowed down, reaching up to Vitali’s face and grabbing his chin to tilt his head up- but Vitali instantly made a biting motion at him, causing Nick to quickly pull his hand back.
‘I am not nice,’ he said, hands moving down to the back and sides of Nick’s neck and he pulled him closer, applying light pressure as he did and causing him to moan quietly.
‘Now go on- Fuck me. I know you want to.’
Another quiet moan and grunt left Nick’s lips when Vitali tightened around him, and he continued- picking up his pace, and his force, and Vitali lightly winced when Nick lifted up his right leg a bit too high and his groin painfully protested.
Should see a doc for that.
‘Come on, baby,’ Nick grunted in his ear, squeezing Vitali’s thigh. He shifted position- finally hitting the right spot and Vitali gasped, grabbing the back of the other man’s shirt and pulling him closer as another hard thrust caused his teeth to clack together and his back to chafe the wall.
Yes, Nick was desperate- but so was Vitali, as embarrassing as it was for him to admit. Deprived entirely from the comfort he had once had when he had still been in high school- an emptiness in him that needed to be filled, but nobody could- nobody came even close- so he sought out distraction after distraction and took every opportunity he could get to feel something again.
And oh, it was not good- but it was good enough, locked against the wall, Nick buried deep inside him and holding him up by his ass, wildly chasing his own finish as he moaned Vitali’s name with closed eyes and red cheeks.
And he went deeper, and harder, finally forcing a moan from Vitali’s lips and causing his eyes to flutter shut. He arched his back, humming when Nick eagerly cupped his chest again- another shaky moan, and building tension- but it was not enough yet, not nearly close enough, but Nick’s release followed with a gasp and a relieved sigh into Vitali’s ear while he filled him up and lazily thrusted it deeper in.
Classic.
A pause, as Nick buried his face in the crook of Vitali’s neck, his hot breath heavy against his skin. Vitali reached for the man’s back pocket and found a lighter and a joint- he flicked it out, leaned over Nick’s shoulder to put it between his lips and he lit it, raising his eyebrows when Nick grunted and rolled his hips forward a final time, lifting Vitali’s body up a little as he pressed him tighter into the wall.
‘Not enough yet?’ Vitali asked, sucking in a breath and slipping Nick’s lighter into the chest pocket of his own shirt before leaning back against the wall. Nick did not answer him- instead, he held still again, both hands moving up to Vitali’s chest once more and his lips traveling back up to his jaw.
Yeah, he was far gone. But it mattered little to Vitali, taking another drag as he let his eyes wander into the hallway again; the boys next to them had finished up and slowly made their way past them, the taller one giving Vitali a wink when he walked by.
Vitali arched his back again to push his chest closer to Nick’s touch, the back of his head rolling over the wall as he looked up at the ceiling to expose more of his neck- but Nick pulled back now, his hunger finally sated, and an exasperated sigh left Vitali’s lips as he dropped himself back against the wall entirely and lifted his arm.
A glance at his watch- 2:19 AM.
Jen’s gonna kill me.
Nick pulled out and fixed his clothing, suddenly acting as if Vitali was not even there. Vitali merely watched- it was no new situation to him- and he left his joint dangle from his lips as he hooked his arms behind his back, waiting for Nick to finish and redirect his attention to him.
And he got what he wanted; of course he did. Exposed like he was- shirt open, pants down- in the hallway of a club no less- truly a sight for sore eyes, and Nick hummed as he grabbed Vitali’s waist and made him sway along to the music a bit.
‘You’re hot,’ he said, another smile spreading on his face as he leaned forward again.
‘I know.’ Vitali rested his head against the wall to avoid another kiss and puffed some smoke in Nick’s face. ‘Pay up.’
Even in the darkness Vitali could see a shadow wash over his face, but it did him nothing. He did not ask much- but he needed the money, already having lost his second job in a short period of time and his savings steadily running out.
‘Seriously?’ Nick huffed and mockingly rolled his eyes. ‘V, come on. We can’t keep doing this.’
‘No protection.’ Vitali took another drag from his joint and slightly turned his hips away when Nick squeezed his ass. ‘No prep. Did not even get to cum. Eddies- stat.’
Oh, now the man just looked pathetic.
Like a kicked puppy, Nick briefly removed his hands from Vitali’s body- eyes big upon learning he apparently was not the pleaser he thought himself to be. Vitali shrugged and reached down, to pull up his boxer briefs and pants again.
‘No- No, baby, wait,’ Nick immediately said and stopped him, then lowered through his knees. Vitali rolled his eyes again- but allowed Nick to wrap his arms around his thighs and take him into his mouth without hesitation; though Vitali knew it was no longer out of eagerness, but merely to get it over with.
And again it was nothing special- some sucking and prodding, fingers finding their way back inside but reaching not far enough to hit any good spot- but at least he was there, and in that moment it was better than having to do the job himself.
Vitali took a long drag and closed his eyes, humming along to the music as Nick worked. When he opened them again, there was someone else with them- a man, around his own age, staring without shame, and Vitali reached out for his hand and pulled him closer.
Kiss, after kiss, after kiss- no one ever stayed. Well, Jackie did- but they were friends, nothing more. Vitali did not want to let it get to that.
But it was good, to kiss- to get lost in it, to be that close to someone- and especially in that moment it was exactly what Vitali needed, a second set of hands on his body and lips against his own as Nick’s mouth between his legs finally started to cause more blood to rush down, arousal running through his torso.
Okay, it felt alright now. Whether it was the alcohol, the weed, the soreness, the kiss, his exhaustion- Vitali was unsure. But he did not care, either. He rolled his hips forward, grabbing a handful of Nick’s hair as he dragged him closer while breaking his kiss, the stranger briefly moving his mouth to Vitali’s neck before taking his joint from him and putting it between his own lips.
‘That’s it, baby,’ Vitali moaned, reaching for his own chest and squeezing, pretending his hand was someone else’s. Nick hummed against him, the vibrations tightening the knot in Vitali’s stomach, the building heat-
Another kiss, parted lips against his own, tongue finding its way into his mouth and he moaned again. Yes, it felt good- the warm, hazy feeling in his head more so than the act itself- it felt good to not worry, to not care-
And Vitali sighed as relief washed over him, eyes rolling back in their sockets and legs momentarily giving out, to the point only Nick’s hands were holding him up.
‘Dripping, now,’ Nick mumbled. ‘Good, baby- that’s what I like to see.’
Shut up, cunt. That’s mostly just your own fucking fluids, not mine.
Silence, as Nick slowly got back up on his feet. The other man was still there, leaving kisses on Vitali’s jaw and cheek, hand having found its way to his chest too and thumb rubbing over his nipple.
‘Meet me behind the club, ten minutes,’ he said into Vitali’s ear. ‘I can do much better.’
Vitali believed him. Yet said nothing as the stranger wandered off, with no intent on ever following him-
He deserved better than Vitali. Much, much better.
Nick leaned in- Vitali had momentarily forgotten about him- his lips still parted and glossy as he tried to kiss him; but Vitali pushed his fingers against Nick’s mouth and pushed him back, creating a distance between them.
‘Three-fourth of full price,’ he bluntly said.
A small discount. For a lousy orgasm.
‘You’re a fucking cunt,’ Nick spat at him, pushing him back against the wall and reaching down again- though Vitali was unsure with what intent exactly and in return grabbed Nick’s wrist before he could touch him, and he squeezed lightly as a warning while leaning in a little closer.
‘And you can’t get any bitches and feel the constant need to use me as your outlet,’ he merely responded, and Nick quickly- but forcefully- pulled his hand back. Vitali stared up at him for a second, then grabbed the man’s collar and dragged him closer, until their lips were practically touching while he continued to speak.
‘Now pay up before I break your pretty nose.’
Nick forcefully kissed Vitali, hands grabbing his hair and body locking him in place once more. Vitali bit Nick’s lower lip hard in return and pulled on his hair until his head was tilted upward, and Vitali could lick some of the remnants of cum- his own, but mostly Nick’s- off the man’s chin.
He watched as the outer rim of Nick’s irises lit up neon blue and a sum of money popped up in his view- three-fourth of the full price, and Vitali shot him a sarcastic smile as he loosened his grip on his hair.
‘For your fucking booze and drugs,’ Nick sneered.
For my meds and surgery. Thanks.
Vitali leaned in and kissed him again- but passionately this time, stealing the air from his lungs as he allowed Nick’s tongue free access, secretly longing for a more intimate moment between them- but knowing very well it would never get to any of that.
‘I’ll make sure to enjoy it more than I enjoyed you,’ he breathed into the kiss, and forcefully pushed Nick away from him.
It was all clear again, now. The hallway they stood in, the music from the hall next door- too loud, and not good at all- and the moans and cries of pleasure surrounding them, combined with the smell of bodies and the heat of the air and it all just made Vitali nauseous now.
‘You’re gonna die alone, in a fucking ditch next to the highway somewhere,’ Nick spat as Vitali fixed his underwear and pants. He reached for his shirt- but Nick stopped him, suddenly, pushing his hands aside to- right, first give another hard squeeze, classic- and then to fix his shirt for him, buttoning it all the way to the top.
‘Too much to fuckin’ handle,’ he muttered, only just loud enough for Vitali to hear. ‘Why’d you think no one stays?’
Vitali pushed Nick’s hands away. ‘Then why do you keep coming back?’
Nick said nothing.
Vitali stared at him as he gathered his hair again and put it back up in a bun, pushing himself away from the wall and slowly wandering off without breaking eye contact, until Nick looked away first. Vitali rolled his eyes and scoffed, and he began making his way away from the rest of the party, through the neon-lit hallway, toward the exit on the other side.
God, he was fucking stupid.
He was well aware of it- none of his behavior was good for him, but he cared so little now. He had nothing; nobody. Yes, Jackie, but- it was different now. Everything was different and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.
The hallway seemed to double in size before his eyes, stretching out as he stumbled forward and nearly crashed into another couple- he apologized, in Russian for some reason, and tried to continue walking but it was so crowded around him again suddenly he felt himself lose control again.
Hands grasped at him from all sides, continuously pulling him in- he allowed it to happen, stopping every few feet or so to kiss, to steal a drink, to take a huff from a joint- allowed two girls to suck several hickeys on his chest- allowed some guy to cup his cheek and softly set him down on his knees for a while, next to three others-
2:56 AM.
The exit was so close.
Vitali did not want to leave yet.
He sat on the floor, watching others- too tired to stand, or try to stand, or just move at all. Had another drink, or two, or three- someone straddled his lap for a bit, a classmate, they kissed him over and over until they fell asleep and he pushed them aside- grabbed someone else’s jacket from the floor and draped it over them as they quietly snored.
3:15 AM.
He wanted to stay.
He wanted to get lost again, lose himself- but he couldn’t, despite being as far gone as he was. Too far gone, perhaps; he was a bit nauseous, still, but merely sat unmoving, and watched-
More kissing, more strangers, yet nothing helped. He was dragged back to his feet- didn’t help, made him dizzy- he could barely stand on his legs and he just wanted to go to bed.
3:41 AM.
‘Come on, come with us!’
The girls were barely drunk compared to him and their laughter was actively hurting his head. They tried to pull him along- them and their boyfriends and girlfriends- to do whatever it was they were planning on doing in one of the BD rooms, but Vitali managed to free himself from their grips and stumbled toward the exit instead.
Oh, but he wanted to stay, and join them-
‘Hey, come on!’
A hand gripped his wrist tightly and he was yanked back. Vitali turned his head-
The guy was tall, and attractive. Hair color indiscernible yet hairstyle strangely familiar-
Mikhail?
Of course it wasn’t him.
But everything around him suddenly went quiet.
Vitali blinked, the music fading into the background as he stumbled and nearly fell. The guy tried kissing him- Vitali pushed him away, and when that turned out not to be enough of a hint he let his fist collide with the guy’s jaw, a sudden rush of adrenaline overtaking his body by the memory of his friend.
Leave.
He stumbled back, pushing himself past a small gathering of people- they just stared, and laughed, said things to him and about him to others but he could no longer understand any of it-
4:00 AM.
Vitali pushed himself outside through the back entrance of the club.
He gasped for air, inhaling the cool air of the early morning hours; nothing fresh about it, but to him it was similar to the air of a flowery meadow in comparison to the stench of the club.
It was raining a bit. It felt nice.
Vitali exhaled and looked up at the sky, allowing the rain to wash the body paint and makeup off his face. How tired he was now- how he longed for the comfort of his own bed, despite it being merely a mattress on the floor.
He tried so hard to not think about him.
But it was hard, still. Even after nearly a year of not speaking with him-
Vitali was unable to even finish his thoughts.
He had to go home. He didn’t care about Jen- no missed texts or calls, she didn’t care about him either- so he just had to get out of there, somehow, and he wasn’t even sure where exactly he was.
Somehow, this happened nearly every week. He gave in, gave too much, got too drunk and too high and his sex-addicted ass would make mistake after mistake after mistake until he regretted all his actions and just wanted to disappear; and then the next time it would happen all over again, memories haunting his mind and he needed to forget- and it worked, until it didn’t, and by then the memories had doubled and next time he would find himself chasing that same high again until his faults would swallow him whole.
And for what?
What the fuck was he missing?
He knew.
He knew exactly- but he refused to think about it.
It was his own fucking fault.
Tears welled up in Vitali’s eyes. He was thinking about him again- his bright crooked smile, his bright blue eyes- the gentleness of his hands, the softness of his hair- his arms wrapped around Vitali’s waist as they slow-danced in the kitchen at three in the morning, Vitali’s head resting comfortably against his chest-
He lost his balance and fell on his knees on the ground, his entire body shaking suddenly. He finally realized he was cold; and shivered, a choked sob leaving his throat.
Oh, how he missed him. An empty space in his soul that no amount of alcohol, drugs or sex could fill- but what else could Vitali do other than trying, knowing he was probably never going to see Mikhail again?
He screamed.
Startled himself with it, a bit; a loud, mournful cry echoing through the streets of Night City, catching nobody’s attention- yet he almost wished someone would hear, and he would no longer have to be alone.
Oh, how he missed him- he missed his jokes, his tics, his laugh- the warmth of his body next to him as they slept, the comfort of his arms as they took a bath, the softness of his lips, pressed against Vitali’s cheek-
They had not been together. Not at any point in time. But there had been no need for that.
Mikhail was the only one who had never walked away, and then Vitali had lost him-
And with that, he had also lost himself.
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dormiloncito · 6 months
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one thing about me i hate games that have consequenses
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moonlightpirate · 2 years
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I wasn't going to share but thought you guys may like some pics from my Halloween shenanigans on Friday night
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biromanticbookbabe · 2 years
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stevesnailbat · 2 years
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people are BUYING the ST4 ep 8 and 9 scripts…..🫣
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wineonmytshirt · 1 year
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one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour. one month until eras tour.
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Hi all !!!! The remaining stickers available for the giveaway are below, any that are crossed out with a red ❌ have been taken!!!!
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beelinesys · 11 months
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As someone slowly watching the conjuring movies throught that one account on tiktok, everyone was right, the third movie is the least best
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There's a difference between being a jerk and sarcastic humor, and many people don't realize it. And although I love a good witty comment, I can't stand it when someone is mean.
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hwaflms · 2 months
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round & round! ★ [ l.dh ]
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{💭} hyuck : i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you, but now everyone’s kissing you except me :/
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[☆] pairing. haechan x reader, slight jaemin x reader ft. 00’ line, chaewon of lesserafim and sieun of stayc
[☆] genre. smut + fluff | stoner!nct, pwp bc it’s me
[☆] wc. 6.1k
[☆] warnings. explicit content (mdni), weed/marijuana use, lots of making out, slight choking, dirty talk, fingering, sexual stuff in a semi-public place, use of the word ‘slut’, very slight degradation, not very proofread, pretty tame tbh
[☆] notes. my first time writing again in like??? two years???? istg i didn’t mean to abandon this acc 😞 pls be nice i haven’t written in a while and this is not my most favourite work but i’m warming up for more stuff in da future i just wanted to post a lil self-indulgent smth abt hyuck bc bf☝️ idk how active i’ll be because of uni and other things but i missed u guys!!! any feedback is appreciated enjoy :p
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even through the clouds of smoke engulfing the little living room of jeno and jaemin’s shared flat, your hooded eyes still met.
today was an important day amongst your friend group; it was chaewon’s first time smoking up with everyone. your friends weren’t really the type to pressure anyone into doing anything they weren’t sure about, but considering the astounding majority who enjoyed smoking some variation of weed, group sessions were a frequent occurrence. you either joined in or didn’t, chaewon being the latter until she decided of her own accord that she was going to try it with the people she trusted.
you sesh with jeno most often, seeing as he was the one who introduced you to weed and taught you everything you know about it. after weeks of listening to you complain about sleepless nights, jeno suggested you try smoking a joint before you go to bed, especially since it was starting to affect your attendance. (“i can’t keep attending these zoology classes without you, y/n. every time something stupid happens, i laugh and make a joke out loud because i forget you aren’t there, and now i’m pretty sure people think i’m either insane or just really fucking lonely”.)
now, smoking up has been a pretty regular occurrence, especially since jeno introduced you to a bunch of his friends and vice versa, all of you making up one big, happy group of stoners. chaewon and sieun were your friends who got along with everyone else just fine, and though they didn’t hang out with the others as much as you did, they were still welcome whenever.
presently, you are leaning back against the couch, all the way on the end, because jaemin is sprawled out alongside you, opting to rest his legs on your lap. haechan makes a joke that you don’t understand, but you laugh anyway along with everyone else, except renjun who covers up his laugh with cough.
“you can never let me have it, huh?”, hyuck scoffs, narrowing his eyes at renjun who’s mouth forms a thin line. “i know for a fact you find me funny.”
you hear that he makes a remark back at haechan but what he says doesn’t register in your head, everything sounding far away. remembering the special occasion, you turn to face chaewon and sieun, who are giggling away on the floor about something between the two of them. you don’t know what they said but you smile anyway. she clearly seemed like she was having a good trip, and so was everyone else.
swallowing nothing, you realise how dry your throat feels, and with that realisation came this undeniable desire for some form of liquid. “jen,”, you tilt your head back and call out to the boy who was already rolling another joint on the table behind you. “did you end up buying more coke?”
“check the fridge”, he mumbles without looking at you, tongue poking his cheek out of concentration as he focuses on what he was doing. with a groan, you heave jaemin’s legs off your lap, muttering a couple ‘sorry’s when he starts to complain about the change in position.
you all but float to the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and spotting the fresh cans of coke placed neatly in the overcrowded appliance. the first gulp feels like heaven against your parched throat, taking a few more while standing there.
“you gonna share or no?”, a voice startles you, turning to find haechan’s figure looming right behind you with a dopey smile on his face.
“god, we need to get you a bell or something. i never hear you coming”, you roll your eyes before grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. you’re disappointed to see that there was no ice in their freezer, but you pour the drink into the glass anyway.
“why are you pouring it into a glass?”, haechan furrows his eyebrows, looking pointedly between the glass and the literal can in your hand. “now we have to wash two glasses when we could’ve just drank it from the can.”
he’s right, of course, but you’re not gonna tell him that. instead, you pretend that you were planning on adding some lemon juice to the drink because you saw it on instagram. while you figure he doesn’t believe you, he humours you anyway and tries your little concoction, which ends up being pretty damn good.
out of all of jeno’s friends, haechan definitely stood out to you. you didn’t really understand why, you were just drawn to him, even way back before you met him, when jeno used to tell you about his friends. “loud and annoying” were the words he used to describe him, but the smile that appeared on his face anyway let you know that he was someone special to jeno. this was not to say his other friends weren’t special, you got along incredibly well with all of them, meshing right in with their group.
as of right on cue, jaemin’s voice loudly sounds out from the living room, “are you guys fucking in there or what?”.
sighing, you pick up your glass and begin to walk out of the kitchen, but not before purposely knocking haechan’s shoulder when you walk past him, hearing him snort before following you out as you exit the room. perhaps if you had lingered in the kitchen for a couple seconds longer, you would’ve heard haechan muttering something along the lines of “i wish” under his breath.
“jeez, took you long enough, can i have some of that?”, renjun drawls, lifting himself off the armchair with a smile, to which you roll your eyes but pass him your glass anyway. you sit down on the floor opposite the couch and he looks as if he is about to compliment your drink-making skills before haechan cuts him off.
“dude, chaewon and sieun look like they’re about to fall asleep, let’s do something”, he half yawns out, opting to stroll over to your spot on the floor and sinking down next to you.
“not…sleepy…”, chaewon murmurs, but her voice is muffled because her cheek is pressed against sieun’s shoulder, both of them sprawled out on the floor like it was a comfortable bed.
“sure you aren’t…”, jeno chides with a smile, getting up from the table to walk over to where all of you were situated. he twirls his newly rolled joint between his fingers, finally holding it out in his palm as if it were some magical gadget, and if you were being fully honest, you were sold. “round 2? or 3, I can’t really remember…”
some words of agreement were muttered across the room, chaewon and sieun even groggily getting up from what looked like a very comfortable napping spot. another rotation began, and you made sure to blow out your smoke directly into an unsuspecting haechan’s face when it was your turn.
“let’s play a game or something”, jaemin suggests, taking a long puff and passing it to jeno who sat beside him, and soon the room was hazy once again, the smell of weed infiltrating your nostrils.
“like what?”, chaewon coughs weakly in between her hit and renjun pats her back before he hands her your coke that you hadn’t received back after you gave it to him. so long for that.
“monopoly?”, jeno offers with a shrug and haechan lets out an obnoxious snore as a reply, making you laugh but you cover it up with a cough when you meet jeno’s playfully narrowed eyes. “okay then, big guy, what’s your incredible idea?”
haechan appears to actually think about it for a moment, looking around the room for some sort of inspiration maybe, until his eyes land on you.
“okay jaemin, get that empty wine bottle from last week, we’re playing spin the bottle”, he is grinning from ear to ear, wiggling his eyebrows even though all his suggestion receives is a bunch of groans and sighs.
your eyebrows are raised however, and you try not to let your reaction show too much on your face. spin the bottle? you hadn’t played that since you were maybe fourteen, but that was the least of your concerns at the moment. haechan wanted to play spin the bottle? who was he hoping to kiss? or was it just a whimsical little suggestion that was more of a joke?
it didn’t fully seem like he meant it as a joke, judging by his expression as he awaited some actual responses from the group. “what are we, fourteen?”, renjun might as well have read your mind, but he soon joins you and haechan on the floor, the others following suit. jaemin presents the empty bottle and places it in the middle of the little circle you have formed, everyone seeming slightly more keen as the joint runs out.
maybe it was the thc talking, but it didn’t really seem like a bad idea to you anymore. you were all single, attractive and close enough that it wouldn’t make things weird, and most importantly, you wouldn’t mind getting more familiar with haechan’s lips.
you shocked your own self with the sudden lewd thoughts in your head about the male sitting next to you, squirming in your position slightly. he turns his head towards you like he could hear your thoughts (“shut up, y/n, he can’t hear your thoughts…right?”) and you swear his eyes soften a bit. “are you sure you wanna play?”, he asks softly, mistaking your tenseness for discomfort, but you shake your head a little too quickly for your liking.
“no, no, let’s play, it’s not like we have anything better to do, right?”, you feign indifference and after everyone else agrees, the bottle is spun for the first time by haechan.
much to renjun’s dismay, it lands on him, and it’s almost comical the way he looks at the bottle pointing at him before slowly looking up at haechan. “renjunnie, let me kiss you”, haechan whines in a high pitched tone while drawing out the “you”, puckering his lips expectantly. the next three minutes consist of renjun listing every single person he would rather kiss than haechan, and you’d have half the mind to volunteer yourself if you weren’t clutching at your sides laughing at the whole exchange, slapping at both jeno and sieun who tried and failed to dodge your waving hands.
renjun finally relents when chaewon suggests he lets him kiss his cheek instead, but haechan is no quitter so he makes sure that he plants the loudest, most wet kiss on his face before sighing in victory when he sits back down. renjun is not the most happy with this, and he tells jaemin to take his turn instead while he rushes off to the bathroom to wash his face. hyuck looks indignant, calling out behind renjun, asking if he wants another one.
taking the turn instead of renjun, jaemin spins the bottle harshly, and it spins and spins and spins for what seemed like an eternity. your eyes are so focused on the way the bottle looks as it spins that you don’t even notice that it has stopped, until jeno nudges you with his shoulder. it’s neck is pointed directly at you, and you finally look up from your trance at jaemin, who wears an undeniable smirk on his face.
while you didn’t exactly see him that way, there was absolutely no denying that jaemin was a very attractive man, and he was no different presently, the sleeves of his hoodie rolled up as he propped himself up with his arms, looking at you expectantly.
you don’t want to look at haechan right now, because you can see out of the corner of your eye that his face is looking straight forward, not at you or jaemin, just forward. you wonder what is going through his head, but your thoughts are cut short when jaemin scoots closer to you in the circle.
“are you okay with this?”
and when you think about, you are. “yeah, i mean it’s just a game”, you reply, not wanting to ruin the fun or raise any suspicions, to which jaemin agrees and inclines his head towards you.
he kisses you, more fully than you were expecting, but you had no complaints really as you kissed him back, titling your head in the opposite direction to slip your lips over his. you wonder if your lips were as dry as they felt, and in the back of your mind it registers that your friends are watching you kiss your other friend because they hoot and giggle, but you can’t really bring yourself to care.
jaemin’s lips taste sweet and he smells sweet, his touch soft as he brings a hand up to your cheek, gently holding it while he continues kissing you. it probably wasn’t as long as it felt, but jaemin finally pulls away, the remnants of his sweet chapstick lingering on your lips. you are aware of how hot your face feels when you pull away and return to your spot, tucking your hair behind your ears.
“dude, what chapstick do you use?”, you ask after clearing your throat, and jaemin rummages in his pant pocket for a moment before whipping out a cute pink tube, holding it out in front of him. “strawberry dream, baby”, he winks, reapplying it on his lips. “never go anywhere without it.”
renjun returns after god knows how long, stating that he had to re-do his skin care routine because haechan had completely thrown off his skin’s ph balance, and is saddened to hear that he missed witnessing you and jaemin.
the game continues in a steadfast manner for the next couple of rounds thanks to haechan insisting we play one more round, though it doesn’t exactly go in the manner you were hoping for. the group is practically in tears after watching jeno and jaemin share an awkward kiss, chaewon arguing that they can’t claim “no homo” because it was the most homo thing she’d seen in a while, and that was saying a lot because she was, in fact, gay.
you have now kissed sieun, jaemin once again and an especially endearing renjun, who’s cheeks and tips of his ears are painted a bright red after you plant a full peck on his waiting lips. haechan grumbles something about renjun not having kissed anyone besides his mom to explain his reaction, but jeno is quick to cut renjun off before another argument ensues.
“i don’t know about you guys, but i think that’s enough exchanging of saliva for one day”, he all but sighs, lying down on the floor dramatically. while you do agree, you’re disheartened, because not once has the bottle landed on you when spun by haechan, or the other way around. it feels like the universe is fucking with you, because really how many times can you spin a bottle between a group of seven people and not have it land on the one person you want to kiss even once.
haechan looks like he wants to say something, but appears to decide against it in the end, stretching and standing up. it is then mutually agreed by everyone that it was time to watch a movie.
“super bad?”, jaemin proposes, and even though most people had already watched the movie, no one argues against it and jeno starts setting up the movie on their big screen tv.
settling into the couch, you glance over at haechan and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling a tad bit disappointed. this whole spin the bottle thing makes you wonder about all the other times where you could have had an opportunity to make a move on the brown-haired boy.
you’d gone on long drives together, gone partying, even drank with just each other a couple of times. the closest the two of you had ever come to crossing that line was while you where dancing at a party and his arms were looped around your waist from behind, slowly swaying to the beat. you’d danced with him tons of times before that but you recall thinking the air was a little different than normal, more heated, but you also recall mistaking renjun for your professor, so you didn’t trust yourself. the moment came and went, and neither of you ever had the balls to address it, and now it had been way too long since to bring it up.
“this seat taken?”, haechan snaps you out of your bitter thoughts, jerking his head towards the spot on the couch next to you. you clear your throat and shake your head, scooting over slightly so he could sink down next to you. “what’s up, y/n, you look a little…not present. you still high?”
it’s funny because your mind certainly wasn’t present, it was in the gutter, but you choose to blame the weed. “yeah, i’m still high”, you answered truthfully, and so was he, his red, hooded eyes a dead giveaway.
“okay, perfect, i wanted to show you this stupid tiktok i saw”, he’s pulling his phone out of his pocket and leaning closer to you to show you some video of a cat, or maybe a dog, you weren’t paying attention. he laughs at whatever the animal did, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he does so, and you observe him instead of watching. when he doesn’t hear you laugh, he peeks over at you but you’re quick to turn your head back to his phone, letting out a very late giggle at the video.
if he did catch you, he doesn’t mention it, continuing to scroll and show you more videos. jeno finally gets the movie set up and turns off the lights, taking up the final seat left on the couch. the movie begins, and everyone falls into a comfortable silence bar hyuck, who makes the occasional comment that earns him a snort from you each time.
at some point during the movie, haechan stretches his arms out behind him, placing his arm on the head of the couch directly behind you. glancing at him quickly, you can’t tell whether the action was purposeful or not, because if it was, he was doing a very good job of looking nonchalant. you try your best to ignore it, but his hand is resting directly above your shoulder, inches away from touching you- but it never does.
you had never noticed what nice hands haechan had before. long and slender, nails clipped short and clean, his middle, ring and index finger adorned with various silver rings. you note that he wears three rings on his left hand, but none on his right. his right hand sits on top of one of his thighs, two of his fingers drumming against it following some rhythm going on in his head. his fingers are long, and the only thing you can think about is just how nice they would feel inside–
no, no, no, stop it, since when are you this horny?
you realise stressing out about how horny you are all of a sudden is just going to lead to a bad trip and you don’t want that, and you want to clear your head. even though you’re feeling a different kind of thirsty, you figure a distraction for a couple minutes would be helpful, so you excuse yourself to go get some water, jumping up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen. unbeknownst to you, haechan’s watchful eyes follow your figure as you exit the room.
finally away and in the kitchen, you fill up a glass and lean over the sink, closing your eyes to collect yourself. you can finish the movie without driving yourself crazy over haechan, right? tonight is no different than any other hangout and you don’t want to weird haechan out with your unnecessary staring and poorly concealed thirsting. you just need to stop thinking about his stupid hands, his stupid thighs, his stupid hair and his stupid kissable lips. “kissable? lock in, y/n, lock in…”
“who are you talking to?”
you wince but don’t turn around, eyes screwed shut tightly. you’ve been gone for a couple minutes and you don’t know when he left the room, but you put down the glass and turn to face him.
“what’s got you so jumpy?”, he questions, leaning against the counter. his arms are folded and his gaze is piercing, face tilted slightly to the left as he observes you. this is the second time he’s startled you in the kitchen today and also happens to be the very reason you’ve been so jumpy.
“nothing, i just…god, you need to starting announcing your entry into a room, dude…”
he furrows his eyebrows but lets out a chuckle anyway, slowly sauntering over to where you stood. eyes never leaving yours, he now stands directly in front of you, caging you in between the sink and his body. the closer proximity and dim lighting isn’t helping your case in the slightest, feeling all hot and bothered as if there was a sudden change in temperature. “what’s happening? you’re usually never like this, we’ve smoked up together so many times. are you having a bad trip?”
you understand why he might think that, what with your jerky movements, dazed staring and just overall disconnected demeanour. while you were wound up a little tighter than usual, you weren’t having a bad trip, your mind was just very slightly preoccupied. “no, hyuck, i’m fine, i just…needed some water”, it’s a half-lie you tell, choosing to not tell him the full truth for the sake of your own pride.
“you just seem…off”, he seems to pick his words carefully, eyes roaming over the expanse of your face. “no, i just…”, you trail off to try and find the words to explain this situation away, but he’s just looking at you so intensely. it’s so silent in the room and the air feels all too still, and you swear you’re trying to speak coherently but haechan switches his weight to his other leg, wetting his lips with his tongue while he awaits an answer and you just freeze. “i…”
“‘i’ what? see? you’re doing it again”, he starts, running a hand through his hair, and the muted light that leaks in through the window illuminates only one half of his face, but you can see him so clearly that even the way his pretty eyelashes brush against his cheek when he blinks doesn’t go unnoticed by you. you’re subconsciously chewing on your bottom lip, feeling a little like a deer caught in headlights. “you have this look in your eye. like you wanna…”
“…what?”
everything is still and unmoving, until your eyes zero in on haechan’s hand as he raises it, slowly bringing it to graze his fingers over your cheek. his touch leaves a burning hot trail on your skin and using his thumb, he releases your bottom lip from under your teeth, hand lingering cautiously for a fleeting moment before he drops it.
“like what, haechan?”, you repeat yourself, urging him to just say whatever it is he has to say, getting tired of this back and forth. you could sell a kidney just to see what was going on in his mind right now, because he looks torn between speaking his mind and just staying silent.
“like you want to kiss me.”
a few beats of complete and utter silence pass, not even hearing the dull sound of the television in the living room anymore over the thudding of your heart in your ears. haechan takes a small and tentative step towards your frozen figure, gripping the counter you’re using to lean against with his right hand, effectively trapping you in your place. now you really are a deer caught in headlights, because he’s spoken what you’ve been thinking about for the past couple hours into existence and he is absolutely correct.
“am i wrong, pretty?”
judging by your sharp intake of breath and open-mouthed expression, you’d have to be a fool to think otherwise. he looks as if he’s waiting for you to answer him regardless, giving you a chance to get out of this, but your voice is no longer functioning, and it takes all the strength in your body to shake your head ‘no’.
his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips, tongue peeking out to lick his lips again. “i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you”, his voice is strained as he admits this, quiet and careful like he’s holding back while his eyes are trained on yours like he’s daring you to break eye contact. you don’t. “but then everyone else was kissing you but me.”
normally you would giggle at his little frown, but all you can muster up is a whisper of his name, finally breaking his all-consuming eye contact in favour of looking at his lips again. you don’t know who moves first, but the next thing you know is your lips are pressed together in a fierce kiss, your hands tangled in his soft, brown locks while he grip your waist and pull you into him.
he kisses you like a man starved and you do the same with equal fervour, not even being able to process that your little daydream is coming true. his hand comes up to caress your cheek, soon moving down your neck after stroking your face softly, using it to tilt your head for you. the position of his hand is very purposeful because his thumb presses into your throat ever so slightly, but his grip is still tight enough that you couldn’t break the kiss (not that you wanted to, anyway). the other hand snakes around your waist and pulls you impossibly closer, pressing his hips into yours.
you’re positively drunk off the feeling of haechan’s lips molding over yours and you think you might just ascend when he tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, using the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. body on fire, you mewl against his lips, swirling your own tongue around his while he slowly but surely bucks his hips into yours.
no wards are spoken while your hands thread through his hair, pulling on it and letting out a sound of surprise into his mouth when his hand trails down to your ass and grips it harshly. he finally releases you from the searing kiss, but he doesn’t let you catch your breath, instead spinning you around in his hold so that his front presses tightly into your back, hands slipping around your waist from behind. this feels like a déjà vu kind of moment because you are reminded of the time when you both were dancing in this exact position, except this time you were getting exactly what you wanted.
“you know how bad i wanted this?”, his voice echoes your thoughts and breaks the silence, hands running up and down your front in a teasing manner. lifting your shirt up slightly, he trails his fingers over the exposed skin of your torso and the action makes you squirm in his hold a little, and much to your surprise, he groans lewdly against your ear. “fuck, i’ve been thinking of this for so long. kissing you, having my hands all over you…”
you get the sense he’s talking more to himself than you, but you revel in it nonetheless. his hand grips your jaw and squishes your cheeks together so your lips form a pout, forcing it to the side where he plants one, two, three kisses to your puckered mouth. his other hand slips further up your shirt where he brazenly cups your boob through your bra, fondling one of them while his tongue peeks out to flick at your bottom lip.
you’re putty in his arms, all gasps and squirms and whispered ‘haechan’s. “what, baby?”, he mumbles into your cheek, the hand gripping your jaw letting go in order to slink down to your hip where it lingers for a moment. “what do you want?”
your lack of answer doesn’t bode well with him, earning you a tight squeeze to your hip as a kind of warning. “need you to touch me”, you whisper out defeatedly, and you feel haechan laugh mockingly against your face.
“yeah? need me to touch you?”, he mimics your voice while tutting, letting his hand slip further down to where you needed him the most, but not letting you have it just yet. “think you can be a good girl and keep quiet for me? we don’t need everyone outside hearing what a little slut you’re being in here.”
everyone outside. the fact that you were just a room away from all your friends who were sat watching a fun little movie together had completely slipped your mind, but if you were being honest, you couldn’t find it in you to give a shit. everything about your current disposition was so dirty. one hand under your shirt, the other about two seconds away from fingering you right in the middle of your friends’ kitchen, while said friends were sat outside, unaware of the goings-on under their own roof.
though you didn’t think actually getting caught in this position would be the most pleasant experience, the idea of it dampened your panties and caused you to whine out loud, tilting your head back against haechan’s shoulder. you receive an immediate hand clamped over your mouth in return, haechan tutting in your ear condescendingly. “looks like the little slut can’t follow a simple request.”
even though he reprimands you, his hands begin fumbling with the button of your jeans anyway, undoing it and pulling the zipper down. one hand comes up to wrap around your front and rests on your shoulder, holding you in place, and the other he sticks down your pants and cups your heat but makes no effort to move, chuckling when you try to move yourself against it. his crotch ruts against the swell of your ass and for you, any friction is better than no friction at the moment. with one hand gipping the arm around your shoulder, you slip the other behind you to palm at his hard cock over his pants, making him let out a sound of approval.
“please, hyuck”, you shake your face free of his hand and turn to look him in the eye, and he grips your throat and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.
he seems to accept your plea, finally moving his hand against you and you breathe a sigh of relief, lost in the feeling of his fingers rubbing circles on your clit over your wet underwear. he’s quick to slip his hand inside your panties, cold fingers pressed directly on to your bare pussy, spreading your wetness all over you. when he ultimately slips a finger into your tight, waiting core, you moan but it’s cut short when he slaps his hand over your mouth again. “keep. quiet.”
if someone were to walk in, the two of you would be a sight to see. you writhing in his tight hold while his hand is stuffed in your pants, two fingers pistoning in and out of you at a fast pace as his forehead is pressed against the side of your face, releasing short breaths. you look positively fucked out, and you’re both in a state of complete bliss as you grind against each other in a timely rhythm.
“my pretty girl. if i had known you wanted this too, i would’ve just grabbed you and kissed you like i wanted, in front of everyone.”
his voice is honey-like and sultry, and his fingers are nothing short of heavenly. they pump in and out of you, and he still manages to use his thumb to toy with your clit in this position, leaving you breathless and on the edge. “can’t believe jaemin and renjun got to kiss you before me.”
you’re so wet that your cunt makes downright sinful noises as he fingers you and you’re hoping that it isn’t really as loud as it seems. “you’re so wet, angel. so this is what had you all jumpy today”, he laughs like he’s stating the obvious, and you’d have half the mind to feel shy if his ministrations didn’t feel so fucking good right now.
you’re aware that you’re close and so is he because you’re clenching around his fingers, so he quickens his pace both inside you and against your clit. “you gonna cum for me, baby? right here, in the middle of kitchen, while everyone’s outside?”, he purrs against your face and you grip the part of his arm that isn’t shoved in your pants, digging your nails into his skin in a way that’s sure to leave a mark. his words make you feel dirty in the best way, not even knowing you could feel this turned on.
he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking here and there, and through the pale moonlight bleeding into the room from the window, the red blemishes that begin to bloom on your skin are visible to hyuck, and he seems pleased with his artwork. “that’s it, sweetheart, let go for me.”
your moans are muffled against his palm when you finally come, the orgasm ripping through you so strongly that you go limp in his hands, legs almost buckling at the sensation. with the added boost of the weed you smoked earlier, your orgasm is immense, feeling it pulse through your body until it’s too much, whining and wriggling in haechan’s firm hold. he holds you still and helps you ride out your high, whispering utterances of “that’s right, baby” and “my good girl” into your ear while you throw your head back and try to regulate your breathing.
in a moment, his hand slips out of your pants, turning you back around so you’re now facing him, grinning down at you from ear to ear as if you both hadn’t just defiled jaemin and jeno’s kitchen. “you feeling okay?”, he mumbles, tucking your hair behind your ear with the hand that wasn’t soaked, pressing a number of kisses all over your face as you nod and giggled, trying to evade his attack. he lets you go just to wash his hands, and it’s when he dries his wet hands on the material of his pants that you notice his raging boner, immediately feeling bad.
“wait hyuck, let me–“
as if he’s reading your mind once again, he shakes his head and takes both of your hands into his, wrapping them around his own waist while pulling you into him. “we can save that for another time, pretty”, he insists, his expression turning shy when he realises the implications behind his words. “that is, i-if you want another time, of course–“
it’s your turn to cut him off this time, but you do so by leaning up and connecting your lips again, bring a hand up to stroke his cheek. “of course i want another time, hyuck. i want this. i want you.”
your assurances do good to bring a smile to his pretty face, taking ahold of the hand on his cheek and pressing his lips to your skin gently, lovingly. “so, so, perfect.”
taking note of the prolonged amount of time the two of you had been gone, you skulk back into the living, but this time, hand in hand.
the scene you’re greeted with is a surprising one, because you find every single one of your friends to be sound asleep, much to your amusement and hyuck’s dismay. “so you’re telling me i could’ve been hearing you moan the whole time and none of these idiots would have even known?”, he is appalled, a hand coming up to rub at his face out of frustration. “i did all that for nothing?”
“i wouldn’t say for nothing”, you reveal, biting your lip and smiling up at the boy shyly. “i might have woken them up.”
“oh yeah, well now you’re going to”, and with that, he’s dragging you back to the kitchen while you giggle, nearly tripping over your own feet before he all but scoops you up in his arms, muttering to himself about having left something in the kitchen that needed urgent fetching.
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