Tumgik
#more just distressed dere about it –_– i mainly just want him to talk to me and tell me about stuff like thats IT
strwbrymlkshake · 2 years
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I feel like there's an obsession in me waiting to burst out, but so many horrible things have happened due to that, it's rotting in there. I'm worried.
#mine#yandere#yandere vent#im not even sure if i WANT to be obsessed. its all clouded up in my head nothing makes sense#like my immediate obsessions have migrated from all of them being romance to all of them being plain admiration#which is way way way way WAY better because then no one will think its as creepy. im not a creep. for the love of god#he was such a fucking liar. made me feel safe and then ripped everything out from under me.#OK ANYWAYS thats not the point of this post . i literally cannot tell what my feelings for anyone are anymore. i cant differentiate them#im just waiting for someone to ask me if i Like Him because ive been acting so attached to him but i couldnt give a straight answer.#i dont even know ! yes this vent is caused by a minor inconvenience. ok well its technically bc i wouldnt be able to hang out w him#i dont fucking want to be dependent on him i dont want him to influence my emotions this shit has happened so often it has to be over#still thinking abt the 'you think hes in love with you?? he doesnt even like you' post 💀#i dont know what my feelings ARE but i know theyre bad ausuaufjfjf i dont wanna be overbearing#im 'less annoying' in the sense i try to barely message him at all. like he doesnt care lol. he probably values me as a friend ig#not sure why im so torn up over this. i doubt we are compatible in the first place but i have the horrible obsession again#i dont feel a particularly strong emotional connection to him ig. like he is nice he is fine but im not insane yandere abt it#more just distressed dere about it –_– i mainly just want him to talk to me and tell me about stuff like thats IT#just respond to my annoying questions. its so sad that im desperate for the bare minimum :/#genuinely dont know if its a romantic attachment? i feel wrong if i imagine stuff like that. i dont want to be thought of as a freak again#i just want everyone to feel sorry for me!? but no one is gonna wanna hang out with me if im begging for sympathy all the time !!!#i just like his voice and his vocabulary etc a funny guy . but hes my friend so i feel fuckin dirty imagining even mildly romantic things#last time i did that i got called a creep <3 im physically unable to think of that anymore! it feels so disgusting!#im happy because i wont have delusional one sided romances anymore but also upset at the fact i cant imagine situations to make me happy#thats what regular teenagers do. they daydream abt crushes they have. but i cant do that. it feels so horrible#i wanna be like 'omg i love him<3' but i dont know if i do. i really dont know. i cant distinguish love#all my 'crushes' feel like broken watered down messes. they dont make any sense. i want clarity. i want to be healthy for once#i dont know if any of my feelings are real or long lasting ^_^ and if they were they have a 0.0000001 chance of being reciprocated#im not going to lose my mind over this strange feeling again. its happened so many times w so many different people#i ought to be used to it by now! i dont know if i will ever be able to truly be IN LOVE again. im not sure i ever was#💿
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dxrksong · 3 years
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Chapter 5 part 2
Warning: headaches??
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You ended up falling asleep somehow. You jolted awake to the sound of something falling against the ground somewhere. 
Someone must've tripped somewhere. You looked around your room to find the Jims and the Red Google Android were still in your room, The Jims passed out on the floor and Cherry was up against the wall in rest mode. 
You smiled and looked down to find the book of the supernatural you had gotten the Jims was open and many different talismans were on the floor.  Some were half finished but that didn't stop you from going over to pick up one
Only for it to shock you. It was small like the kind you'd get from rubbing your feet on a carpet while wearing socks. But it was enough to warn you to wear some gloves or something before you touch those again. 
You recoiled your hand from the talismans, going to get up so you could wake up the others. You went over to the Jims first, shaking them awake like you've done before
Y/N: how long were you up?
CameraJim: *yawns* not much longer than MirrorJim? Maybe an hour?
Mic nodded along
Y/N: good, so uh. Think you can clean up the mess you to made?
Mic: huh? Oh-right! Sorry MirrorJim! 
Y/N: it's fine. So uh-I hope you're not going to try to exorcise someone in here. We have several undead here, you know that right?
Camera: wait
Mic: we do??
Y/N: ……...YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT???!
Camera: W-Well we knew StaticJim is a demon but that's about it!!
Y/N: ……….I'm one of those, I hope you realize that. 
Mic: well yeah, MirrorJim came from a mirror after all, not even the Jims can do that. 
You nodded
Y/N: just…...be careful? I'd hate for you guys to do something you'd regret later. 
The Jims nodded
CameraJim: don't worry MirrorJim! We'll be careful!
Y/N: good! How about after we wake Cherry, we figure out just what I am?
You didn't think the Jim's eyes could get any bigger. 
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Unfortunately the four of you didn't really find anything. It was mainly difficult since you had a solid form and besides the mirror thing and your little episode a few nights ago, there wasn't much evidence that separated you from the normal vengeful ghost to a straight up demon! 
Needless to say you were all quite disappointed, You of all people wanting to know just what you could do.
You completely neglected to mention the time manipulation but you doubt that'd help in your search. 
You sighed, leaning back
Y/N: well that was a bust. Want to go see just how badly those morons tore up the house?
Cherry: my calculations suggest at least a few broken windows and torn up furniture!
Camera: I bet they broke the TV!
Mic: alright fine then, I bet they dyed someone's hair blue and wrote on the first one that passed out with sharpie, what about you?
You hummed
Y/N: I think they all drunk themselves into a stuper and it was Captian Magnum that tripped earlier and is currently face first on the stairwell!
Camera: Onwards!!!! 
The Jims led the charge out your room and you giggled, getting up and running out as the Googleplier opted to walk calmly. 
Turns out all of you were right! Well except for the blue hair dye. But literally everything else had happened. Captian Magnum face first on the stairs and everything! 
Y/N: we weren't betting money right?
Mic: no. 
Y/N: good. Oh!! I just got a brilliant idea!! Can I trust you three to start breakfast as I go do something??
Camera and Mic shared a look
Camera: uhhh sure?
Y/N: Great!! Thanks!!
You dashed back to your room, going back to the bags on your floor and scooping them all up. You had gotten each of the ego's something while you were at the mall. So you went into each of the ego's rooms and left their gift there
Like a little secret Santa hehehe! 
You returned to the kitchen, looking over to see that some of the smarter ego's who decided to just sit and watch the chaos earlier were sitting at the table. 
Meanwhile Cherry and the Jims were struggling to prepare breakfast, Cherry three seconds away from dragging the Jims away from the stove. 
You rolled your eyes, going over and shooing the Jims away, telling them to get some more ingredients before taking over breakfast. 
You've hadn't made food for this many people as far as you're aware but with Cherry's help, you managed to get it done. 
Dark yawned as he entered the kitchen, seeming to do a double take when he saw you cooking happily with a hum. 
You were in such a bad mood yesterday you're almost surprised yourself. Luckily you have friends to cheer you up for moments like that!
Y/N: good morning, you party animal. 
Dark: good morning…..good to see you're in a good mood today. 
You shrugged
Y/N: turns out I was just tired! 
Cherry: correct. Emotional and mental health are tied to energy levels. Y/N displayed high levels of emotional distress last night with the avoidance and the lack of response. 
You just slowly turned to the Android, giving him a look that basically said everything for you. 
That was a little bit of too much info. Now everyone is gonna treat you like a snowflake. 
Dark: Y/N, I know things are difficult for you. But if you need to talk to someone-
Y/N: who the hell could I talk to that could COMPREHEND, much less keep quiet about the bullcrap I'm going through?? 
The two of you stared at each other for a good three minutes before it clicked. 
He was offering to be your Therapist because he knew that Wil would probably slip up eventually and Mark probably wouldn't know anything about Identity crisis's.
Y/N: ……….o h. Uhhhhm
Do you trust him now or is he still on thin ice???? You can't remember with the whole everything going on lately. 
You were more or less pretending to be angry after all, you don't personally know Dark besides the videos you saw on the internet…..
Cherry: Y/N, the pancakes.
You squeaked before turning back to the food, managing to save the pancakes before they burned. You sighed in relief as the others walked into the room.
Chef: O-OY!! I thought I'M the cook here! 
You stopped what you were doing before turning your head slowly to you, your neck creaking slightly as you stared at the chef. Several minutes went past as the room went silent. 
Chef:
Y/N: sit down
Chef: ok. 
Chefiplier went to sit down with the rest of the ego's. 
Dark: if I may Y/N, that was absolutely terrifying. 
Y/N: oh please, it's just the tired mom glare 
Cherry: you seem to be well practiced in it. 
Y/N: yeah….
You started setting food on the table, not really saying anything else on the topic
Yancy: wow y/ns, didn't think you were such a good cook! 
You smiled
Y/N: thanks Yancy! 
Dark: so, Y/N. I was thinking and how about you and me-
Y/N: no. 
Dark: …...what?
Y/N: no. 
You were unruly calm despite the upset little frown on Dark's face.
Y/N: no I don't think I'm going to be doing anything today. I'm just gonna take some pain killers for my headache and stay in my room all day, how about that? Unless I need your permission to go to my room to Mister Social Manipulator? 
The entire room had more or less fell silent at that, fearing Dark's reaction and for your safety. 
Cherry: y/n-
Dark: no…..no, you don't need my permission. If you needed a break, you should've told us instead of bottling it up. Seems you've picked up how to do that as well during your little coma. 
You chuckled 
Y/N: you have no idea….
You turned to leave the room, not bothering to eat something. Your headache needs more attention than your stomach. You stepped into Dr.Iplier's office and raided the medicine cabinet. 
You could've taken all the medication but you were better than that as you grabbed some pain killers and took a few pills. 
You sighed, hopefully they set in soon. You started walking to your room when you found Magnum in the halls nearby
Mag: oh-um! Ahoy dere first mate! Ye feelin' alright….?
Y/N: yeah….hopefully the medicine will kick in sooner or later. I'm gonna go lay down, you have a good day Captian.
You patted Mag's arm before walking away
Mag: a-alright. Be sure ta tell us if somet'in is bother'n ye alright?
Y/N: I'll try! 
You went to your room, falling face first onto your bed and passing out
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(Ok so maybe not a three parter.)
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12/04/2018
Raver Temmie and I fly on our broom to the Island. When was the last time we were here? We've come here again because we need to buy some glowsticks to pass out to the partygoers who've agreed to come to our private rave party. The one that we never got around to having because we went to Baku's rave over at Port Town's dance club. Now that was an experience.
"hey tem?"
"ya, hooman?"
"wen we get back, were gonna rite Baku a nice thank yu lettr, okay?"
"ooo, yaya!! thank u letr!! dats a grate idea!!1!" We fly our broom to the seaside store, which, unbeknownst to us, now has a new owner...
Raver Temmie and I fly our broom to the seaside store, where we'd last browsed for glowsticks. We dismount our broom, put it back inside our hat, and open the door. "i hope dis time i can find some-"
...The store looks different. We do not remember the store looking like this when we were last here. We step inside and close the door behind us. "h-hooman...?"
"yea?"
"wat happend to da store??"
"i dunno, its been a wile since we wer here. maybe sum1 redecorated it?"
We haven't seen who that someone is just yet, but if he were to look at the one who'd just entered his store, he'd see a bipedal Temmie in a pointy hat who appeared to be having a conversation with herself, as if she were two people.
"ok, but who did it?"
"i dunno." Our eyes look left and right as we take turns talking out of the same mouth.
[Salandit] The lizard frowned a little, holding the sandwich in its mouth. So... he could take random trash he didn't want, give it to this person, and they'd give him sandwiches...? ...He'd have to remember that, then. His tail flicked once more, and... before Jevil even finished his sentence, he was out the door- running at full speed towards... somewhere.
[Jevil] Jevil exhaled happily, tail wagging a bit. From his perspective, it had worked. It now knew the basics of capitalism. He laughed a little, having been greatly amused with the creature. Now though, he had a new priority. His small pointed ears shot up at the sound of the entrance bell and his attention was drawn to the newcomer: some sort of anthropomorphic white cat/dog. Them holding a conversation with themself was slightly off-putting to Jevil, but he wouldn't judge! Well at least he wouldn't let himself be too nervous, he had to serve this creature after all!
"Hello, hello to you, you! You come seeking wares is that true, true? Well, well tell me what you're looking for and I'll see what I can do, do!" Jevil wore his iconic joyous grin, mitten covered hands tucked beneath his chin as he awaited an answer.
[Rave Witch Temmie] Whoa! What was that that just darted by?! We flinch a little as the Salandit runs out the door. Once the door closes again, we turn back towards the counter and...
...Oh dear lord, what the heck is HE doing here?! He's not supposed to be out of his cell! We flinch again when he greets us, and begin to shiver, a look of dread forming on our face as he talks. After he finishes, our shivering culminates in a shudder as we cry out, "w-w-waaaaah!" We then hide our face behind our front paws.
[Jevil] He blinked once at the flinching reaction, deciding that it was only due to how loud he can become and often is to counteract the quieting nature of the shop's fabric walls. His voice would trail off somewhat as he noticed the shaking and expression. Maybe if he was quieter when he next spoke, this customer would be more comfortable here. The shudder and tears truly did distress the imp-like being, causing him to recoil a bit and spend a bit trying to figure out what he had said to cause such a reaction. Or maybe this person had very recently heard the rumors he had spread in his own world. He tensed a bit, taking in a breath, holding his hands out in front of him in the universal sign of harmlessness.
"H-hey calm down, calm down I say! There is no need for tears and no need for fears, I promise you won't be hurt, dears!" He had mainly pluralized it for the sake of rhyming rather than any knowledge of the newcomer's state.
[Rave Witch Temmie] Eugh, that voice... our shivering subsides somewhat, but not entirely. And did he just call us dears? Nnnngh...
We gingerly lower our paws from our face. They feel a bit moist... did we stain them with a tear or two? Oh geez, I didn't even notice- now that I think about it, our eyes do feel a little wet. How embarrassing...
"w-w-w-w-wat'd yu do to da store???"
[Jevil] "Just a little bit of renovation. I added a little things here and there to create what i saw in my imagination! Uee hee hee, and what a creation i've worked to see, see! No harm either considering the shop belongs to me, me!" He couldn't help but smile at the sensation of pride that whirled around in his stomach and warmed his chest. Jevil knew that there could have been countless others who sought this job and store, so he couldn't help but pride himself in the fact that the higher-ups, whoever they might be, had chosen him as the shopkeeper. No matter the poor experiences he has had so far, the bird-based robbery and the assault via spaghetti, he couldn't help but be happy and excited for all the new faces he'll be able to bring smiles to. His T ended tail swayed gently as he stared off into the distance at the thoughts.
Jevil was somewhat embarrassed when he emerged from his little day-dream. "Well, well now that you know my little slice of the resort, may I ask what wares you seek with some importe?"
[Rave Witch Temmie] "i... uh... um..." Oh geez, the little snot's gone and taken over the place, has he? Well, isn't that just faaaaan-tastic!
"human, whys a scary clown guy in da store??" Temmie thinks to me.
"Er, um, well, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure he's actually a jester." I think back. 
"watsa jester??"
"It's just what it sounds like- someone who jests."
"wats that mean??"
"You know... they tell jokes, and act silly..."
"u mean liek a clown??"
"Er..."
...Well, she's got a point there. I suppose if you think of it that way, they are kind of the same thing. Anyway, back to answering said clown/jester/whatever's question. We glance to the side, unable to bring ourselves to make eye contact with him.
"i was, uh... i was g-gonna hav a hapy fun rave party... a-and i-i needa get some stuff..."
"Glowsticks." I remind her mentally.
"o-oh ya!1! glowsticks!!" We say, looking at Jevil briefly before averting our gaze once more, "i needa glowsticks for my friends at da party... i came hear to buy sum befor but dere werent none..."
[Jevil] "Glowsticks, glowsticks..." He echoes in thought, mentally running through his stock, trying to determine if he would have them. For a while he didn't think so until he recalled their wide colour variety and knew where he would have stored them. Her perks up with excitement and giggles.
"Yes, yes I think I have a set in the back, I wouldn't think glowsticks would be something we would lack, lack! Wait here a second and I'll return with the items, I reckon!" With that, the leapt down from his chair, landing with a small thud and symphony of bell jingles. He remained in a crouching position for a second, showing just how small the once-court jester was, before he bounded into the back, passing through the fabric flaps that had matched seamlessly into the wall. A series of bells and other noises emitted from the back room as Jevil scurried about to find the glowsticks he was increasingly certain he had. He remembered having some in his old shop and had brought along many of his unsold wares from there when he moved his base of operations to the island. Where, oh where, though?
Jevil leaned backwards, holding himself up with his tail as he looked through the massive selection of colorful items, a few dozen pinwheels, plastic flowers, ball-pit balls, glow- There they were! He grabbed the glass jar filled with the unused tubes of chemicals and bounced out from the back.
"I return, return with the items you yearn! I have about twenty four glowsticks as you can see here, here now, lean in close, lend an ear: 2 of whatever you have for money each, it's a rather fine deal I preach!"
[Rave Witch Temmie] Once he goes to the back room and out of our sight, Temmie whispers to me, "whys he so scaryyyy...??"
"uh, cuz of his creepy face an' his creepy voice an' his, uh, "chaos chaos" thing, or sumthin?" I whisper back.
"wats dat???" She asks.
"i dunno, youd have to ask him!" I reply.
...Wait, I shouldn't have said that. I don't want us to ask him- oh no, he's back. Wait, are those... Hey, look at that, he does have glowsticks! Who would have thought?
"...Lean in close and lend an ear? ...Really?" I think, "Hardee har har. Just because we have four ears doesn't mean we're lending that creep any of 'em!"
"uh... o-okay, y-ya, ill buy em all..." We nervously approach the counter and pay 24 credits.
[Jevil] He giggled slightly, eyeing the 24 credits.
"I believe you miscounted, miscounted! 24 credits is only enough for half of the glowsticks, not all of them, them!" He seemed rather amused by the situation though, holding onto the product a little while longer as he waited to see if they will accept only half or seek out the remaining 24 credits to pay. He thankfully seemed to be rather patient, his tail wagging slightly as he hoped up onto his chair, putting the jar of glowsticks on the counter.
"Now now, would you like to pay the full price for all of them, them, or pay what you've already paid and take only half of them, them?"
"awawawa!!1 oh nooo!1 im sorry!11! heres da rest!1!"
We quickly put 24 more credits on the counter and then take a few steps back. Geez Louise, what is with us tonight? We already embarrassed ourselves in front of this guy once; we just had to go and do it again, didn't we! Sheesh...
[Rave Witch Temmie] ...Oh, wait- the glowsticks. We can't pick them up from over here. We'll need to walk back toward him to get them- actually, no, we won't! That's right! We're a Temmie! We stick our arms out in front of us and stretch them towards the jar of glowsticks.
[Jevil] He gave an amused laugh, happily accepting the payment and pushing the jar forwards towards them, blinking as they backed away. Frankly Jevil really wasn't sure what to make of this person, he was completely unfamiliar with Temmies after all.
"It's alright, alright! You can take the glowsticks whenever you'd li-" He was taken aback by the way the customer's arms seemed to just burst forward towards him. He looked absolutely horrified for a moment, recoiling as far back as he could, taking in these rapid, quick breaths. He had his eyes squeezed shut, not opening them up again until he thought it was safe. He pressed a gloved hand into his chest. Nothing happened. He was ok. He was ok. Seam didn't come back for revenge. It's ok. He's fine. Jevil took in a deep, shaky breath.
"Sorry I... I wasn't expecting that, that..."
[Rave Witch Temmie] Whoa, hold on... we scared HIM? Are we seeing this right? Did he just dart back behind the curtains again when we reached for the jar? You've got to be kidding... He's the creepy one, not us! What's so scary about us stretching our arms out, we wonder? Maybe being in this body for so long has made me forget that Temmies can be off-putting to those who aren't used to being around them...
We grasp the jar between our paws and then retract them towards us.
"uh... y-yu ok??" We call out.
[Jevil] "Y-yes, yes! I'm ok! Just- just shaken is all, all..." He emerged still looking very much unnerved. He fidgeted with his thumbs almost as if trying to distract himself from something, yellow eye-dots tiny in residual fear. He glanced off, making sure not to look at the creature's arms, part of him terrified they'll come after him again if he looks.
"Just shaken..." He repeats, taking in a deep breath. He tries to shake himself out of the fear, forcing a small smile until it became genuine. "But don't worry about that now, now, if there anything else you want or shall we say ciao?"
[Rave Witch Temmie] "is dere, uh..." Temmie remembers something she wanted to ask him. The thing I didn't want her to ask him.
"Temmie, no! Don't-"
"w-wats ur "chaos, chaos" thing?? human dint want me to- mmf!"
Since both our paws are full, I press the jar against our mouth to silence her.
[Jevil] "My chaos, chaos thing?" He seems confused for a moment, wondering what they could be referring to. Perhaps a combination of his repetition and his shop's title perhaps?
"Well if you're asking about the shop's name, that's easy, easy! It's important, so important not to fall into routine or it could suck up all your glee, glee! So I made a little shop back home just like this one, one where people can come and buy the things they need while also having a little fun, fun!" He giggles happily, tail wagging, mind seemingly off whatever had him so terrified before.
"As for saying things twice, twice, well I'm just following my own advice! Keep things fun, keep things nice, and life is sure to entice, entice!"
[Rave Witch Temmie] Sigh... why'd she have to ask him that...? Thanks to her, we had to listen to him yap at us in that spooky voice again! Though, on the other hand, I'm now very confused by his answer. We were not talking about this store, or his quirky speech patterns, at all. I had wanted to leave as soon as we'd bought our glowsticks, but now, I'm curious as to why he didn't seem to know what we were really referring to.
I decide to take control of our mouth from Temmie for a moment, and ask, "yu had anothr store? wat yu mean?? what happend to da cat guy??"
[Jevil] His mood shifted to discomfort at the mention of "da cat guy". Well, there was another question in there so he could ignore that part for longer.
"Yes, yes, I had another store, store. I opened it myself after the King decided he didn't want a court jester anymore, anymore. I could have done anything, anything indeed, but I thought that a shop of fun is what the kingdom would need. Then, then just recently, I got a letter in the mail, mail asking if I would be interested in coming here to do sale! I took it, took it I did, and that's why the island I now work amid!"
[Rave Witch Temmie] We shiver a little again as we listen to his creepy, singsong rhyming.
"yea, but, wat about dat cat guy, da one wit da button eye?"
Oh geez, now he's got us rhyming, too! Curses!
"i thot he was suppost to hav a store!1"
[Jevil] Oh god they really were talking about him. Jevil's pupils started to shrink again, seeming to grow panicked again. He seemed to grab onto his tail for comfort.
"I know who you're talking about but not what. Seam went mad years, years ago, it was very unfortunate... I just hope that now that his life in done, he isn't insane in heaven." He seems to be shaking a bit, really not wanting to recall those memories. That battle. That grin. By god, that grin. He tried squeezing it out of his mind, pressing his eyes shut and holding his head. That grin. That grin. It persisted even as Jevil had watched Seam rip his arm half-off to use as a weapon. He let loose a whine, shivering.
[Rave Witch Temmie] Our face goes blank. "...hes ded??"
[Jevil] Jevil nodded, trying to return to reality the best he could. Trying to pry himself away from the memories. Away from that battle. Jevil had technically won, but that did nothing to help his conscious. He held onto his tail tightly.
"Yes... Yes the once magician is gone, gone like the rain, only I, the once jester, remain."
[Rave Witch Temmie] Our jar of glowsticks in hand, we take several more steps back, uneasy at the thought of Seam being dead. Or at least I am. Temmie doesn't know who he is. While Jevil laments his loss, we back out the door with our purchase.
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