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wen-kexing-apologist · 11 months

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Rain, BL Boys, and Reciprocity

Made @bengiyo and @lurkingshanshan get up early today so they could experience me and @neuroticbookworm's reactions to My Ride Episode 8. Mostly because NBW has been wanting Por to get punched in his stupid goddamn face for the last two weeks, and because I think everyone knew I would lose my shit at that undressing scene. Which I did, in case you were wondering.

ANYWAY. Over the last couple weeks as I’ve been watching My Ride, these clowns have had to listen to me say over and over again how much I truly appreciate the dynamic between Mork and Tawan. And by that I mean helpers helping helpers, and because I have seen how Mork and Tawan interact with each other throughout this show, I have started developing a theory as to why so many BL boys get sick (especially when it rains or when people are stressed), and a lot of it has to do with reciprocity. Obviously, this will not hold for all shows but, nevertheless…

When I think of BLs where someone gets sick and has to be taken care of, I think of shows like The Eclipse, Bed Friend, and Our Dining Table (I know rain and sickness feature as a heavy part of Tokyo in April Is…but that illness serves as a completely separate plot device) and I think about how the dynamics of the characters play out in terms of how frequently they are being taken care of by their partners versus how often they are taking care of their partners.

And in pretty much every case, the person who ends up getting sick and needing to be cared for, is the person that spends more of their time caring for their partner. Which is to say, that there is frequently an imbalance in how much (typically) emotional support characters need. [And again, I will take a moment to specify that imbalances happen in relationships and that does not make the relationship bad, or toxic and that does not make a person or character who does not give or receive support as frequently bad people either. It is okay for people to have more needs, it is okay for people to require more support, it is okay for imbalances to exist in a relationship]

gif by @choikangho

In The Eclipse, Ayan spends a lot of his time throughout the entire show making sure that Akk won’t kill himself. Sure, he pokes and prods and is annoying about it at times, but it goes without question that Ayan is putting in a lot more time and energy, especially before they get together in trying to pull Akk out of the mess he has gotten himself in to. Ayan, who is himself grieving the loss of his beloved uncle, pushes that aside time and time again to hold Akk when he cries, to let Akk know he can be weak with him, to being patient and guiding Akk as he navigates his internalized homophobia, to push back against the mindset Akk has been developing thanks to Teacher Chadok. And, it is at this point I will say that Ayan is not alone here, Akk supports him plenty, but in the beginning it is much more tentative and in those moments where Akk wants to comfort or support Ayan, Ayan still has to guide him- Akk sees Ayan being targeted by the teachers, and part of him knows that isn’t right or fair, and he goes to seek out Ayan after Ayan does not appear in class, and all the support he is capable of showing Ayan is sitting there with him in silence. It is Ayan that puts his head on Akk’s shoulder, it is Ayan that asks Akk if he will treat him the same way the teachers are. Akk wakes up to find Ayan gone from the tent and crying outside alone and he takes the words that Ayan said to him when he needed support and gives them back to Ayan, and once again it is Ayan who sinks in to Akk’s shoulder, initiating contact. Ayan guides their first kiss, Ayan is honest about his feelings, Ayan does not get upset when Akk cannot at first admit his feelings for him, he does not get upset when Akk tries to provoke a fight. Akk holds Ayan when he’s having nightmares and that is the one time that he initiates actual physical comfort with Ayan before they kiss, and it is when Ayan is not awake to witness it, and Akk does throw it in his face a little bit the next morning.

But in Episode 9, Ayan gets sick and Akk takes him home, and Akk gives him a sponge bath, and Akk holds his hand, and Akk falls asleep next to him, and Akk jokes around with him when they are washing dishes, and you can start to see the shift. Akk has started to question his school, his place, himself and his desires, he has started to get more comfortable with his sexuality, to get more comfortable around the boy he likes and so Akk takes care of Ayan. Because Ayan needs to be taken care of too. Because Ayan is stressed out too. Because Ayan is depressed and grieving and angry. And that has suddenly become too much for him to handle, and so it is time for Akk to put aside his own anxieties, his own doubts, his own fears and focus on giving comfort to the person who has given so much care to him.

And it is worth mentioning that I do love the fact that after Episode 9 almost every single time one of them is upset, the other is also upset, especially in Episodes 10 and 11, I am so here for the way that both of them are comforting each other while they cry over different parts of the same problem.

gif by @kolaicendionysos

In Our Dining Table, Yukata is always going to Minoru’s house, he is always cooking for Minoru and Tane, he is always helping take care of Tane. While Minoru is unaware of the way that being around him and Tane has been helping Yutaka heal old wounds, Yutaka is spiritually and physically providing a lot of support to those boys. When Ueda-san is out, the burden of raising Tane has been lifted in part by having an additional set of hands. Minoru doesn’t have to worry about Yutaka being upset that Tane is with him, Minoru doesn’t have to worry that Yutaka will be annoyed at Tane for being a child. Minoru, who has given up so readily and so willingly so much of his life to make sure his baby brother has the love and support he deserves, finally has someone enter his life that loves and supports him in a way no one ever really has. Minoru doesn’t have a career, Yutaka does, Minoru has not completed his education, Yutaka has, Minoru has a lot of family responsibilities, Yutaka doesn’t. So in their relationship to and with one another, Yutaka typically needs less support. Then he gets sick. And that becomes Minoru’s opportunity to repay all the kindness Yutaka has shown him and his family. Minoru gets to cook for Yutaka instead of Yutaka cooking for Minoru and Tane (or Minoru gets to cook for Yutaka instead of with Yutaka), Minoru gets to replace the fever patches on Yutaka’s forehead, Minoru gets to stay there, with Yutaka and listen to him, to be a literal, physical support for Yutaka when he rests his head on Minoru’s shoulder. Yutaka finally gets to put all the things he has picked up aside, and just allow himself to be cared for for the first time in a very, very long time.

gif by @bird-inacage

And Bed Friend, as the show from my examples that feels most in keeping with the traditional tropes of the genre, highlights this give and take particularly well. Because Uea has been through what he has been through, and because Uea still continues to go through what he’s going through, he is heavily reliant on King for emotional support. Which is not to say that King is acting as Uea’s savior all the time, or that Uea isn’t capable of supporting King, but that objectively, fundamentally, Uea has much bigger, much more pressing, and much more intense problems than King currently has. Which means it typically falls on King to run emotional support for Uea. King helps Uea through his panic attack in Ep 1, he drives Uea to the hospital and pays for his mother’s taxi ride, he comforts Uea when he is nervous at the doctor’s, he bears witness to Uea’s trigger and tries to help, he is decently patient waiting for Uea to process that, he rescues Uea from Pock in Ep 4, treats his bruises, he notices when Uea is anxious and makes him take a bath and brings him birthday cake, he gets Krit fired, he helps Uea make a decision around what to do about his stepfather. And because Uea is constantly in some crisis or another, the only time he really offers any support for King for the majority of the show is when King is venting about not wanting to go home and the expectations his mother has for him. Then King goes out in the rain and gets sick, and Uea finally has an opportunity to spend all of his time taking care of and doting on King. He gets to give King meds, and cook King breakfast, and cuddle King and King gets to just be sick and sleepy and not have to worry about anything but getting better.

All of this to say, that I frequently view the reason BL boys get sick as a way to make a typically imbalanced support dynamic between characters have some reciprocity.

But My Ride doesn’t do that.

gif by @aejeonghae

My Ride is one of the first BL’s I’ve seen where I feel like both characters have an extremely reciprocal relationship the entire way through. Before they even really know they like each other, before they get together, every time Mork helps Tawan, Tawan almost immediately helps Mork in return. Both men are caretakers, Mork gave up his chance of education to pay for the tuition of his girlfriend so that she could get an education, Tawan is a doctor and always covers his coworker’s shifts all the time. He leaves the house early and leaves work late because he is always finding someone to help. When they first meet, Mork is crying over his break up and Tawan comes up to him asking for a ride, sees Mork crying and says: “Are you okay? Is there anything I can help with?” and from there the entire rest of the show is just Mork and Tawan see-sawing back and forth when it comes to taking care of each other (the next two paragraphs are every example but if you are like ‘wka there is no way in hell i’m reading all that, just skip to the tl;dr).

Tawan needs a ride to get stage props but doesn’t know where to go, Mork takes him to a market he knows and gives him a tour to orient him, Tawan buys Mork a drink, Mork holds the supplies Tawan bought and Tawan helps feed Mork the drink he bought

gif by @gabrielokun

Tawan helps a dog that has been hurt, Mork helps Tawan fix the props that got run over because he was inspired by Tawan’s kindness, Tawan takes Mork’s hand and is so excited and grateful that Mork would do something like that for him, Mork fixes the props and Tawan invites him to join the party, Mork drives Tawan around when he is off work to help him find Nadia, Mork is sick but crucially Tawan does not take care of him, only uses Mork’s fever and sore throat to make an in universe public speech announcement about not taking antibiotics for a virus, Mork goes with his uncles to the hospital and puts on a nice shirt and catches Tawan when he collapses from exhaustion and goes to buy him food, Tawan takes Cheep’s case so that Mork’s uncles can get treated faster.

Mork sees Tawan is bummed and brings him to the river where he usually goes to make himself feel better, Tawan invites Mork to Loy Krathong, Mork goes to indulge Tawan, Tawan gives Mork the popsicle flavor that is his favorite so he can share something he likes, Tawan helps talk Mork through his panic on the ferris wheel

gif by @maxescheibechlinichacheli

Mork runs back in to the park to look for Tawan during the shooting, Mork washes the blood off Tawan’s hands from helping the injured child and drives him to work, Tawan treats and loses a patient and Mork waits outside the hospital to make sure he has water and comforts Tawan when he breaks down. Tawan thanks Mork which is something that Tawan has always hoped the people that he helps would do for him and haven’t, Mork avoids Tawan cause he is uncertain about his feelings and then makes up for it by letting Tawan drive the pillon, Tawan crashes the pillon and makes up for it by treating Mork’s wounds, Mork brings Tawan chicken heart rice, Tawan brings Mork snacks to repay the favor, Tawan confides in Mork about his concerns around Por, Mork tries to comfort Tawan and lets him ride the motorbike to cheer him up, Tawan buys Mork food.

gif by @sollucets

TL;DR time and time and time again, for the length of the entire show from when Mork and Tawan were strangers, to acquaintances, to friends, their entire relationship has been completely reciprocal. Kindness is repaid with kindness is repaid with kindness, in a way I have truly not seen in most BLs, as I have told poor Ben, Shan, and NBW enough times they are probably sick of hearing it.

Which brings us to Episode 8, in which an expectation I had from BLs was subverted, because these boys spend half an episode soaked to the bone in the rain. Now, having watched approximately 60 BLs in the last year, I know what happens when a BL boy gets rained on…someone’s getting sick (off the top of my head I can name Ren, King, and Win who all get rained on and then immediately get sick).

But

THAT

DOESN’T

HAPPEN

HERE

That doesn’t happen in the slightest, and Mork and Tawan are in the rain for a very long time. Tawan doesn’t get sick even though he trudges through the rain to Por’s apartment, Mork doesn’t get sick even though he’s driving around on his motorcycle in the rain, Tawan doesn’t get sick even though he collapses on the ground in the rain, Mork doesn’t get sick even though he drives and then carries Tawan’s unconscious body through the rain all the way Cheep and Dej’s house.

And my theory as to why is because neither one of them needs to get sick in order to be cared for, neither of them needs to get sick in order to prove that they both can act as support for each other.

Because even when Tawan is upset, even when Tawan is heartbroken, the reciprocity remains: Mork gets in a fight with Por and Tawan treats his wounds, Mork finds Tawan collapsed on the ground in the rain and carries him to his uncle’s house and changes his clothes, Tawan wakes up and cooks Mork dinner in return.

gif by @save-the-data

This is a show about helpers helping helpers and I love it so much. I love that everything Mork does for Tawan, big or small, is revolutionary for Tawan (I mean, I don’t love it in the sense that Tawan should be being treated better by the people around him but just that Mork does things because he wants to, because he sees Tawan is sad, because he sees Tawan is tired, because Tawan was nice to him and it is wonderful that Tawan has found someone that will care for him like that). And Mork, Mork has someone that will do the same, Mork’s last partner left him and moved on to another man very quickly (and possibly while they were still together) even after Mork had spent so much of his time and money on paying for her education. Even in the happy memories Mork has in that apartment after their breakup have his girlfriend making comments related to money, that they are eating too many instant noodles, that the house is too small, etc. and it breaks my heart because Mork lives that way because so much of his money is going to fund her education.

Let me tell you what line will haunt me forever, it’s something Tawan says in Episode 5: “No one has asked me how I am for awhile. These days, people are always asking me to do things for them and I do it without expecting anything in return. But deep down, I guess I do. So, thank you”

Because this is what their relationship does and will boil down to, Mork does things for Tawan without having to be asked, without asking for anything in return, and Tawan does things for Mork without having to be asked, without asking for anything in return. And because of that they are both receiving care from one another in a way they have never been given before. And it is part of why I am so okay with them not getting together until the end, because we have seen from the very beginning just how well these two work together, and get a deep understanding of how they will navigate low points both for themselves and for when conflict arises between them.

gif by @save-the-data

Anyway all of this absurdly long essay (Captain Hands who writes 20,000 word essays returns @bengiyo) to say, that I am beginning to suspect the purpose of BL Boys getting sick is to balance the scales of physical care in stories where one part of a couple does not have as many support needs and that it is very lovely and refreshing to see a story where every single action is repaid in kind. (Again, not that disproportionate levels of care are inherently bad, but because so many BL stories rely on tropes around a character with emotional fortitude, and a character without it).

Loving this show, sad that it is ending next week and I don’t get to experience the rewatch live, but you better believe this is going to become a comfort watch for me going forward.

#my ride #mork x tawan #tawan x mork #morktawan #the eclipse #akkayan #bed friend #kinguea #our dining table #minoru x yutaka #my ride the series #wka long post

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sollucets · 11 months

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MY RIDE || EPISODE FIVE

#my ride the series #my ride rewatch 2023 #mork x tawan #rowan gifs #try ‘this is not a cohesive set it’s just my favorite moments colored poorly’ for 500$#that moon shot with the krathongs is genuinely my favorite but coloring that was a Nightmare #anyway. if u can tell from the complaining im not 100% on this vs the amt of time i spent #but. cheer! positivity!#i love episode 5 lots and lots actually. has all the good beats

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negrowhat · 11 months

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SHUT UPPPP! That ferris wheel ride really solidified a lot for our beloved Mork.

#my ride #mork x tawan

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sharktofu · 11 months

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#my ride #mork x tawan #hes so soft #hes mesmerized by tawan #hes so in love - so growing into his love - that he forgot to be scared #aaaaaaaaaaaaa #im good and normal about them ofc

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ppeonppeonhan · 11 months

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My Ride Review

It was a cute, breezy watch.

Released: Jan 2022

Language: Thai

Genre: Romantic Dramedy

Main Couple Type: Friends to Lovers

Main Plot: Naive, selfless, baby-gay doctor pines for an older, romantically-demanding gay dentist for a long period of time, then an equally sweet and selfless bi moto taxi guy who just got dumped gets caught up in the mix.

Main Conflicts: Class differences, infidelity, and miscommunication

Side Stories: There are 4 minor side couples: young gay enemies-to-lovers courtship; hetero will-they-or-wont-they; older head-butting gay mentors; and anxious trans flirtation.

Romance Level: PG -- A couple chaste kisses involving 2 couples, and A LOT of slow motion/long pause, tension-building fake outs

Tropes: Love triangle, secret crush, gay awakening, dramatically enduring a breakup, and mild medical scares

Plot Twist: Yes, 5 -- two scandalous and three just surprising

Moral of the Story: Stop shooting for the stars and settle for what you can get...?

Fun Fact: The screenwriters went on to write La Pluie.

Does it need a sequel or Korean remake? Not really -- unless they want to unpack how the doctor's family feels about him dating [SPOILER] a mechanic slash single father OR if the female doctor proudly introduces her barista boyfriend to her family.

Episodes: 10

Episode Runtime: 48min

Network: GMM 25

Available on: Youtube and Daily Motion

#bl drama #thai bl #bl series #thai drama #my ride #my ride the series #mork x tawan

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waitmyturtles · 5 months

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I was supposed to finally have a quiet moment this week, my first of 2024, to catch up on all the dramas I’m behind on, but alas — real life has gotten in the way, and it’ll still be a little bit before I have time to write big meta again. I’m way behind on thoughts for last week’s episodes of Playboyy, Last Twilight, and Cherry Magic Thailand, but I do very much want to write about them, so some quick notes on these three as follows:

1) I owe @poetry-protest-pornography and @chaos0pikachu my thoughts on camp and Playboyy. I intended to pen this post last week after last week’s episode, but said life (ha) has gotten in the way. Friends, please note that I still SO want to write this, because I think deconstructing why camp as a style works in art will be a wonderful conversation, regardless of the narrative success (or not) of Playboyy.

So, speaking of the narrative success of Playboyy — and the upcoming debate (maybe?) about a balance of style and storytelling in dramas, I watched last week’s episode of Playboyy with this post about The Sign in mind, because I think this post gets at a thing that I want to write more about re: Playboyy, which is, like — what makes a story/narrative contextually coherent, and what responsibilities do the artists behind a show have to viewers to make a story coherent?

I think one thing we were coming to in the conversation on camp at the end of last year was whether or not Playboyy could be considered a good, a successful, or maybe even a complete story by way of its various elements. At least for now, leaving camp aside, I still don’t think this show is working narratively at all. That Captain/Keen storyline had my head spinning — uh, your coach gave you one difficult practice, and you revenge on him by filming a sex tape without consent? How…..did we get there? Porsche now has feelings for Jump? I’m still not grabbing the whole Aob/Puen feelings debacle? The Nant/Nuth storyline has gotten momentum, but not enough to fill the majority of an episode, which is a shame, because it’s the only storyline element giving this show any context at the moment. And as @lurkingshan noted, the only real compelling moment in this episode was between Teena and Zouey about how they’d transcend reality to love better versions of each other. It was lovely to watch! But I’m still not sure why we’re watching all of these storylines and if, ever, they’ll come together in a coherent arc.

So, yeah man. I was so intrigued by the premise of this show. It ain’t workin’. I’ll have more to think on this regarding style. But the stories aren’t coming together — and I TRULY think that’s a shame, considering the important themes of the show.

2) From the little ability I had to poke around Tumblr last week after the last Last Twilight episode, I think (I think!) a general feeling was that the episode wasn’t as depth-y as it could have been for the MANY heavy moments of parental interventions that took place. I believe that’s right. I think there were too many gaps in the contextual flow of the show that left Day’s mom looking more like an enemy (like, even on Pran’s mom’s level) that could have been addressed with a touch more context coming from her.

Let me explain. When I see single moms in Aof Noppharnach shows, I first go to He’s Coming To Me. HCTM has the best BL mom ever — a single mom absolutely ready to embrace her son as he’s coming out.

We know Aof loves depicting moms; he wrote as much about it last year after Moonlight Chicken aired. He’s got some legendary moms — of course, Pran’s mom; Tian’s controlling mom (who I posit is actually a front for patriarchy in A Tale of Thousand Stars); Pat’s passive mom, who is actually way more down with reality than Pat’s dad; Kao’s mom that Kao is so fearful of by way of disappointment. (Special shout-out to Pete’s dad in Dark Blue Kiss as the best BL dad.)

In other words, we know Aof has the goods when it comes to commentary on parenting. We know from episode 9 that Day’s mom (Mhon) went through tremendous hardship to raise her boys, including begging for food. She’s a famous and successful chef by the time we meet her, a workaholic. She’s a single mom, a working single mom, and Porjai is about to be on the same cusp. Night happens to be the bridge to those two.

Mhon’s willingness to keep Day in his room….her ignoring Night to start the Christmas dinner. The taking away of Day’s phone, oof. Saying that Mhok crossed a line — all while she was aware that Day previously had a crush on August. These small points create quite the enemy storyline on Mhon.

This is unfortunate, because I actually felt, watching the episode, that there was a lot about Asian parenting that was being left on the table. Valuing work and the safety of one’s kids OVER their happiness is quite the social phenomenon in Asian parenting. A good bit of Day’s mom’s actions could actually be seen as appropriate by certain-minded parents in Asia.

Yet, to have Day’s mom then ignore Night during the dinner, to have Day’s mom take Day’s phone away without explaining why he can’t be in a relationship — even for an Asian viewer like myself, well used to a particular amount of conditional brutality in Asian parenting — those storytelling decisions seemed a little harsh without more context as to how Day’s mom was driven to be the way she is now.

We had plenty of context into Dissaya in episode 10 of Bad Buddy. That moment opened doors for us to get what the hell was going on. I would love to have a similar contextual moment for Mhon, words by her about her story, that tell us how she got to where she is by way of raising her boys and becoming successful. Despite her behavior to her sons — we know she worked damn hard to provide for them. A badass lies within, and I know a successful Aof show would show us that. I hope we get it.

3) Cherry Magic Thailand, episode 5! I LOVE what’s happening with Rock/Min against the Rokkaku/Minato storyline — I love this expansion, and how Rock is less clueless and much more emotionally vulnerable than Rokkaku. I love feisty Pai. I LOVE Junior’s Jinta! I have to continue covering my mouth as I cackle.

As compared to Adachi at this point in the storyline — I wonder if CMT is offering Achi a bit more of the clueless hand than he deserves. I love the embellishments to the jealousy storyline between Karan and Kurosawa — Achi and Rock pushing off in the boat alone was particularly poignant — but Achi is well aware of Karan’s heart now, and I’m a little surprised that he seems a dash clueless that his interactions with others would make Karan jealous.

This is a minor quibble, though. Achi and Adachi are two dudes unfamiliar with love. But I wonder slightly if this vibe I’m feeling is perhaps a result of the original Cherry Magic Japan story being literally doubled in time in Thailand.

Again — MINOR quibble. This show is a refreshing delight. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE the next part of the storyline. I love that they found a similar place in Thailand to shoot Karan’s drunk flashback scene as Kurosawa’s in Japan. Will Achi offer us Thailand’s version of a classic JBL run? I sure damn hope so!

That’s it! I think I’ll be able to catch up on all of this week’s shows in real time, bless up!

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thedooristhebluecushion · 2 years

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P’Por: 😞

Mork: 😔

Tawan: 😭

The Security Guard: 😳

#my ride #my ride the series #tawan x mork #tawanmork

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gabrielokun · 1 year

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#people in love are disgusting ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶)#My Ride #My Ride The series #รักนาย My Ride #mine edit #Fame Chawinroj #Fluke Pongsakorn #MorkTawan #Mork x Tawan #ThaiBL #Thai BL #Thai series #Thai Drama #BL Drama #BL series #Gabriel makes stuff

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maxescheibechlinichacheli · 11 months

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Mork some time later:

#my ride #my ride the series #morktawan #mork x tawan #thai bl #bl series #bl drama #maxine gifs #Mork is a baby #and Tawan doesn't believe him his brave front

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wen-kexing-apologist · 11 months

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I Don't Have a Fancy Title for This One, Sorry: Thoughts on the My Ride Finale

I want to talk about the opening scene in My Ride Episode 10 and how the conflict that arises around it is so perfectly set up throughout the show. Because this show handles everything that happens between Mork and Tawan so brilliantly (which should not be a surprise because these are the people who go on to give us La Pluie, and as @lurkingshan mentioned, My Ride very much reads as a proto-La Pluie)

@bengiyo, @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm and I have lovingly been referring to this show as Sunshine x Sunshine because both main characters are Sunshine boys aka bright, happy, caretakers (think Tien from La Pluie) as opposed to brooders (think King from Bed Friend). As @bengiyo mentioned in a discussion I was having with him about this show, Sunshine x Sunshine narratives are very rare in romance/BL because there is not a lot of internal conflict, so you have to set up external conditions/conflict in order to prevent two sunshine boys from getting together immediately.

And My Ride handles this extremely well by making Mork have to realize his own sexuality and having Tawan be in an established relationship even after Mork understands his feelings. It continues to handle them not getting together very well after Mork finds out that Por is cheating on Tawan, and not telling Tawan about it. Now, while I think we can all agree Mork messed up by continuing not to tell Tawan even as Tawan got closer and closer to discovering the truth, even as Tawan essentially flat out asked Mork if Por was cheating, it is so disgustingly in character for Mork to care so much about Tawan that he cannot. hurt. his. feelings. Mork is almost as devastated as Tawan is when he first sees Por and his boyfriend together. He knows how much Tawan is going to get hurt in the future, but he cannot be seen as trying to split Tawan and Por up, and Mork is a good person who takes people at their word, and who said nothing because he believed Por when he said he would handle it.

Por did not handle it.

Tawan is then sad and heartbroken, and that is a time to comfort people that you care about but not the time to go asking them on a date. And I love how there is a moment here, where Tawan could actually get mad at Mork for hiding this information. But he doesn’t. Because Tawan is a good person who understands that Mork is a good person and knows fundamentally that Mork would never intentionally hurt him.

Tawan runs away to the North for the first time to get a break from the tail end of the Por situation see his family and Mork is worried because Tawan has gone radio silent. Mork calls Tawan 69 times (haha, nice) because he really needs to know if Tawan is okay, and again, this could have been a moment where Mork got upset at Tawan for scaring him like that, but he isn’t. He’s just anxious and concerned and trying to make sure that Tawan is okay. And to the audience, and to Tawan himself. It reads as genuine concern for someone you care deeply for. WE know why Mork is rambling that fast, and Tawan is starting to catch wise that these feelings he has for Mork are reciprocal.

So let’s review what happens on this phone call:

Tawan looks at his phone to see 69 missed calls from Mork

Mork rambles for a solid thirty seconds about how worried he was that Tawan had been hurt

Tawan gets blushy about it, he does not withdraw in to himself, he does not feel ashamed of himself, he does not look concerned himself. He is smiling softly. Because Mork is a good person who is never going to make him feel like Por made him feel.

Mork says he wants to see Tawan’s face

Tawan says he thinks he’s over Por

Mork cannot contain the small excited smile at the thought he now has an opening. Tawan smiles back because he knows what he is doing

Tawan apologizes for worrying Mork. Mork jokingly is like ‘you are not forgiven’, and Tawan knows this is not a serious rejection because Mork immediately follows it up with a quiet, awkward “I miss you”

Tawan is like “whatdidyousayyyyyy???” and Mork is like “If you are over him hurry back” (so I can ask you out)

Tawan goes home after two days even though he told his parents that he would be there for a week because the boy he likes says he misses him

gif by @gabrielokun

And things are looking up for the Sunshine Boys! Tawan returns! Tawan spends the day with Mork and his son and he immediately shows himself to be marriage material by being incredibly good with kids. Mork asked Tawan if he would be a second father. Which would typically, in theory, be a pretty strong indication that Mork likes Tawan and wants to be with Tawan for the foreseeable future. But they haven’t actually talked about it. They haven’t actually declared anything yet. They have not fully established what they are to each other, and as a result there is still some room for doubt.

Which is when Fern re-enters the chat realizing she made a terrible mistake leaving Mork (because as we all know Mork is bottled sunshine) and Tawan stumbles in on Mork hugging Fern to comfort her, and we have the catalyst for our final separation.

Now, under normal circumstances, the fact that Mork does not at all seem guilty, shocked, or hiding anything when he immediately removes himself from the hug, devotes all of his attention to Tawan, and then runs after him when Tawan makes absolutely the stupidest excuse to leave by saying his non-ringing telephone is the hospital calling would all be a pretty good indication that nothing nefarious is going on. While Mork commits another error by not continuing to follow after Tawan in the moment, Fern is asking for him to stay because she is going through it, and I know in my heart of hearts that Mork is confident that he will be able to both clear the air with Fern and also be able to see Tawan soon and explain the whole situation.

But to Tawan?

To Tawan he has just caught Mork cheating on him before they have even really started dating. And again this works SO well for a number of different reasons.

Reason 1: Tawan as a character is the person who does things for other people without expecting anything in return. He is the person that friends reach out to when they need help, but they are rarely there to offer any legitimate help themselves. Tawan literally sobs, has a full on breakdown the first time that Mork asks him how he is doing because “no one has asked me that in awhile”. The way Tawan navigates the world makes him see himself as a commodity to other people. He is here to help and if he is not helping then people do not care. (Am I reading too much in to this? Maybe. Am I projecting on to Tawan? Absolutely. Am I right? Yes.)

Which is why things were so good with Mork. Because Mork always gave as good as he got. Mork always reciprocated the affection, the kind words, the physical and emotional support that he got from Tawan.

Reason 2: Tawan has literally just been cheated on. And not only was Tawan cheated on, but that piece of shit dentist, Dr. Punchable Face Por has made it his life’s FUCKING MISSION TO BLAME *TAWAN* FOR *BEING THE REASON HE IS CHEATING*. Like goddamn, first of all Por, Tawan has been the mistress this whole time, but second of all, you didn’t use your stupid fucking words the first time (you know, like Mork has) and got mad at Tawan for being a super busy doctor and genuinely good person. But no. No. NOPE. Instead Tawan, who already feels like he exists to be used by other people, is now made to feel like the reason that no one wants him, the reason why no one helps him, the reason why no one checks in on him, is because of Tawan himself? (@neuroticbookworm hold me back, I’m about to reach through my screen and beat up a fictional man).

Reason 3: Mork calling Tawan his friend in front of Fern. So we have established already that Tawan feels in part that he has to help people in order to make himself useful enough to keep around, and that he feels like he is the one to blame for people he cares about just absolutely ruining his life, and he thinks he understands where he and Mork stand with the 69 missed calls, and the “I miss you” and the “hurry back” and the day they shared together with Mork’s son, and the whole “will you be his second dad” thing. Not to mention all the longing glances and reciprocity that Mork has given him from the very beginning, when he still hadn’t even realized he was bi. And the second that Mork introduces Tawan as his “friend” all the doubt he has ever held, all the doubt he has tried to dampen when he is with Mork just comes flooding in. Because in Tawan’s mind he has completely misinterpreted this situation. Mork doesn’t like him like that, Mork is just a nice person. Tawan is “a friend” that Mork’s exgirlfriend has never heard of who is “not exactly a friend” but a doctor at the hospital and a passenger that Mork drives around.

Once more into the breach my friends, Mork is being respectful of Fern and not really trying to out himself and Tawan when Fern is clearly upset, seeking comfort, and probably wanting to get back with Mork. This is not the time or place to tell Fern that Tawan is Mork’s boyfriend, and Tawan and Mork have not had the conversation. Now, personally, when I hear Mork say ‘he’s not exactly a friend’ I take all the times they have shared together and the fact that Mork literally asked Tawan to be a second father to indicate that Tawan isn’t exactly a friend, he’s more than that.

But because this show has set its external conflicts and barriers up well, and used those to feed internal struggles, Tawan does not read it that way. He reads it as never being seen as more than a friend to Mork and his heart is breaking in real time as he completely re-evaluates everything they’ve been through together.

Tawan returns to Changrai for the second time, hurt and embarrassed, and trying to get as far away from that city and the pains and the pressures that they have put him through. Thankfully, Mork wises up and goes running after him.

And that’s really all I have to say at this point. This show builds so well off of the elements of its story it has laid out previously, and as a result it manages to accomplish what few shows really have: Double Sunshine

#my ride #my ride finale #my ride the series #my ride rewatch 2023 #mork x tawan #fluke pongsakorn #fame chawinroj

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