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holdmeclosertinytaron · 1 year

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RHW: Chapter Three

Story Page / Playlist / Wattpad / AO3

A/N: I am so unbelievably sorry that this is only just getting to you! I've been on holiday to the coast this week and totally forgot to schedule the chapter before I left. Then when I got there, I had pretty much no signal and no access to any decent internet so when I tried to post it, it failed. However, it does mean you get two chapters this week which is a bonus! Thank you for your patience.

And thank you, as always, to my saving grace during this whole writing process, @brayndilyn. You are amazing and I'm so lucky that you popped into my DMs that day last year. Life is brighter with you in it!

Warnings: Explicit language, narcissistic behaviours, rough relationships with maternal figure.

Word Count: 7.4k

December 23rd, 2021

Last minute work obligations for Taron and planning a book tour while also trying to continue her job for Liliana resulted in them not seeing one another since they’d had dinner and drinks. It wasn’t for lack of trying, either. They had both offered multiple dates that they were free but their schedules never lined up properly which neither of them enjoyed.

Despite their busy schedules, they had maintained their regular text conversations and it had reached a point that if Liliana hadn’t heard from Taron for as little as a few hours, she noticed she’d started to pout which worried her. The attachment she had for being friends with Taron again was growing stronger and his absence had begun to affect her more than she cared to admit.

It wasn’t a secret that she had been far happier since getting him back in her life. Though it only heightened how unhappy she had been before. If she was this sad not hearing from him for a few hours, she dreaded to think how she would feel if the happiness she’d only just gotten back was taken away. No doubt she would be worse than before the book launch. The thought alone scared her.

If Liliana had been completely honest with herself, not something she was regularly, she would have told herself that the feelings she had for Taron were slowly beginning to transform into slightly more romantic feelings of late. It had been Evelyn’s comment about them being a power couple that made her realise. She didn’t hate the comment her best friend had made, and found herself fantasising about a life with Taron on the tube home that evening.

It wasn’t difficult to imagine the future and what it could look like with Taron. Them being together and doing all the things; the small domestic activities like cooking together or watching TV curled up in one another’s arms, and the grand things like holidays abroad and attending events on one another’s arms. At work she found herself drifting off to think about him until Evelyn came into her office and knocked her back to reality with a thud.

Liliana’s feelings were unrequited. He couldn’t ever feel that way about her. He was an award winning actor and she was, well she was Liliana. She had a published book and that was as interesting as her life got. How could he ever think that way about her? He never did when they were younger. What would have changed in the years they weren’t in contact with one another?

As their road trip to Aberystwyth approached, Liliana couldn’t stop thinking about being in such an enclosed space with Taron for so long. Her stomach twisted any time she thought about it. Every night before bed she gave herself a peptalk, telling herself that she had to play it cool and see if she could get a read on Taron to decipher how he felt about her. If he felt anything about her at all.

It wasn’t the time to be making any grand gestures. They’d only been in contact again for a little over six weeks and she didn’t want to ruin what they had built back up. Especially not so close to Christmas.

On the morning he was due to pick her up for the drive home, she’d been a ball of nerves since her eyes opened. She anxiously flitted around her flat trying to get everything packed and tidied up before he got there. She cleaned every room twice and had reached the point of moving things from one place to another and then decided that she preferred them where they were before so moved them back. It was a vicious cycle that she couldn’t get herself out of. Until Taron arrived.

Taron had arrived a little earlier than planned to pick Liliana up, which was absolutely unheard of with London traffic, and Liliana wasn’t quite ready. She’d been in the middle of grabbing her toiletries when he texted to let her know he was there.

I’m just finishing getting my stuff together. I’ll buzz you in and you can come wait up here if you’d like? Instead of sitting in the car x

No problem. I’ll be there shortly x

No more than a second had passed between him pressing the buzzer and Liliana letting him in, pulling her front door open so he could walk right in without having to knock. Not that she would have wanted him to knock. All of her friends let themselves into her flat and she wanted Taron to feel comfortable enough to do the same.

With her suitcase now packed completely, she moved to the living room to get her handbag ready. When it came to roadtrips, no matter how short, she took them seriously. She stood in front of her bookshelf and stared at her many books to decide which one to take with her. Her own book, which was selling out everywhere at a rapid pace, sat front and centre staring at her and she smiled to herself.

‘I know you said your flat was tiny but this is petite,’ Taron commented as he walked through the front door into the narrow entryway that led to each of the three main rooms. He stepped around the suitcase Liliana had left and into the living room where she was trying to pick a book. ‘You know you’re only going for a week, right? That’s one hell of a suitcase for that short a trip.’

His words were light and teasing but Liliana went into panic mode. ‘If it’s too big for the car I can get a smaller one. It’s just got all of the Christmas presents I need to take and I don’t have any spare clothes at mum’s or anything.’

‘I was joking,’ he said quickly, putting his hands on her shoulders. ‘It’s fine. There’s plenty of space. Hello, by the way.’

‘Hi,’ she smiled, allowing him to pull her in for a hug. He smelled good. Fresh and clean and warm. Her arms tightened around his middle a little before she pulled away. ‘I just need to decide on a book to bring with me, or two because I get through books like I do cups of tea, and make sure everything is switched off and things are tidy and then I’m ready. Sorry I wasn’t ready to go when you got here.’

‘Don’t be sorry. I’m early. I was shocked at the lack of traffic, especially considering it’s the day before Christmas Eve.’

‘Merry Christmas,’ Liliana said, pulling two books from the shelf and putting them in her bag. ‘I can’t believe it’s already here.’

She walked through to the kitchen with Taron hot on her tail. The room was small and barely big enough for them both to stand in there at the same time. Their close proximity heightened their senses and Liliana had to clear her throat to break herself back into reality.

Taron cleared his own throat and offered to help Liliana check the switches. He himself had spent a good fifteen minutes checking each room of his flat to make sure that everything was in order. Liliana accepted his offer and asked if he could triple check the living room for her. He saluted playfully and headed back to the other room while Liliana took a deep, much needed breath.

‘I may have gone overboard because I got us some snacks for the road and I didn’t know what you’d prefer so there’s a selection of goodies from chocolate to snack bars to fruit,’ she confessed as she left her bedroom and pulled the curtain closed. ‘Knowing me I will also buy more snacks if we make a stop anywhere on the way there.’

Taron chuckled. ‘That sounds amazing. I’ve packed a couple of bits too and I always stop. I thought we could maybe stop for lunch? Even if it’s a drive-thru meal somewhere. You ready to go?’

Liliana nodded, reaching forward to grab her suitcase but Taron stopped her, his hand already on the handle pushing it down so that he could carry it easier. ‘I’ve got it, don’t worry. You just make sure that everything is locked up properly.’

‘You are a menace,’ she laughed as she followed him out of the flat. ‘But thank you. Make sure you watch me lock up. I will ask multiple times if I actually did lock up. I have already asked Marjorie across the way if she’ll keep an eye on things for me.’

Taron watched intently as Liliana locked the door and tried it to make sure that it was actually locked. ‘It’s locked. Come on, let’s get going.’

***

‘See that, that is why I refuse to drive in London. I hate how impatient other drivers are. Did you see the way he gestured at you?’ Taron had switched lanes on Wandsworth bridge over the Thames when a car sped in front of him and caused him to slam the brakes on. Taron had simply brushed the incident off but Liliana was baffled. ‘We’ve been on the road for five minutes and I already don’t know how you can drive so casually here. It’s awful.’

Taron chuckled softly from next to her, turning his attention to her when they hit a red light and he had to stop. ‘When was the last time you drove?’

Liliana thought for a moment. She had driven once in London, right when she first moved, and hated it so much that she hadn’t driven since. But even before that she rarely drove.

‘Oh god at least eight years,’ she laughed. ‘I never really enjoyed driving anyway. I much prefer being the one in control of the music. Which, by the way, I am excellent at, thank you very much.’

As they got in the car, Taron passed the auxiliary cable over, telling Liliana that she may be in charge of the music, just as long as her music taste was better than it was when she was a teenager. She’d laughed him off but quietly deleted three songs from the playlist she’d made the night before just in case.

‘You are going to have to give me some songs to add otherwise it’s going to be a Harry Styles road trip which personally, I wouldn’t be against. But that’s me who’s a fan of his.’

‘You know I met him once,’ Taron said casually, keeping his eyes on the road. Though he didn’t fail to notice her face turn towards him suddenly, no doubt with wide eyes. He’d just about seen her drop the phone into her lap.

‘You met him?’ She asked, blinking rapidly. ‘Harry Styles? What? When? Huh? How do I not know about this already? My two favourite men.’

She’d let the last sentence slip on accident but couldn’t take it back. Taron had heard it, and the twitch of his lips made it clear that he definitely had heard it. He laughed lightly and indicated into the junction so he could get on the motorway for the big portion of the drive.

‘It was a couple of years ago now in LA. It was this big meeting thing with Joni Mitchell. There were a few other people there too. Ellen Degeneres and Portia.’

‘Yeah, yeah cool. But you met Harry Styles?’

‘I did. We didn’t speak much but we had a good chat. Then there was this group photo that circulated the internet for a few days. He looked so much more put together than I did. I think he had this black cardigan on with a pattern on the front or something. I was there in a white t-shirt and a baseball cap.’

Liliana’s eyes widened. ‘I think I know the photo. Was it around this time of year? Joni had Christmas lights around her neck. I’ve seen a cropped photo of Harry and her. But you were there? Holy shit, Taron.’

She sits with the information for a little while, unable to process the fact that her best friend knows the man whose music got her through some of the hardest days of her writing process. Just as she thought about it, Sign of the Times started playing.

‘Do you think you could introduce us?’ She asked, letting her inner fangirl out. ‘That would make my entire life, honestly. Getting to meet Harry? Oh boy.’

Taron turned to look at her briefly, his eyes soft and full of adoration. ‘Absolutely not,’ he said, shaking his head before turning back to the road in front. ‘You’ll fall for him and I’ll lose you again.’

‘You won't lose me again,’ Liliana laughs solemnly.

Taron’s words sat heavy on her chest. I’ll lose you again. He’d lost her once before. She’d left him. What was once her strongest friendship with her favourite person on the entire planet had been thrown away so that she could run away to another country for a life where she didn’t have to be around her mum. The giddiness she experienced knowing that Taron knew Harry vanished and she was overcome with a solemn, uneasy feeling.

‘I’m really, really sorry,’ she whispered. She’d moved back to face forward and had let her hands drop to her lap. ‘For leaving. I’m sorry for leaving.’

‘Please don’t,’ he whispered back, sniffling once to rid himself of the tears pooling in his eyes. ‘It’s in the past. The only thing that matters now is that you’re here. I’m here. We’re here.’

Wordlessly, he reached over to grab her hand, resting them both together on the centre console. They weren’t holding hands but they were touching, and it was enough for them both to know that they were safe and with one another.

Taron didn’t need Liliana to apologise for leaving. He didn’t want her to. It may have taken him over a decade but he knew why she had to leave. He read her book. It told him things even he didn’t know growing up. It told him more than he could have ever imagined and his heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces as he read the intricate details of her childhood. The details she hadn’t shared with him before.

As much as he wanted to bring up what had been revealed to him in the pages, he didn’t want to make Liliana talk about it if she didn’t want to. He couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for her to put everything down into words, to come to terms with what happened in her life. It can’t have been easy to publish that and have so many people read it and know about it.

He was in awe of the strength it must have taken her to bare her soul in such a way to the entire world. Reading the book that she’d so delicately written made Taron see Liliana for the strong, independent, powerful, yet softly adorable woman she was.

He didn’t bring it up for a little while. He let himself enjoy the comfortable silence, no matter how overrated he thought it was, and let Liliana have a few moments to herself. His hand remained touching hers the entire time and he wanted so badly to run his pinky finger over her to reassure her but he didn’t want to scare her or make her feel uncomfortable. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since their dinner and he was over the moon to see her again and spend a few uninterrupted hours with her.

‘Lil,’ he said after a little while, unable to keep it in any longer. She turned to him with red rimmed eyes and when he turned to her momentarily, his heart cracked just a little. ‘It’s none of my business, and we absolutely don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but it’s been on my mind ever since I read your book.’

Liliana’s heart stopped. She knew that he would more than likely have read some of the book since she’d seen him last. But she hadn’t expected him to read the entire thing cover to cover with his busy schedule. She’d expressed feelings in the book that she hadn’t ever expressed with him and now he knew. He knew everything she’d been too afraid to tell him.

Taron was back to facing the road and he took a long, shaky breath. It was just as hard for him to bring up as it would be for Liliana to talk about. ‘I never realised the full extent of how bad you had it when we were younger. You always just threw your hair up and smiled like everything was fine when it really wasn’t. I wish I could have recognised it more at the time.’

‘Taron, it’s fine.’

‘It’s not fine, Lil,’ he sniffled. ‘It’s not fine. It was never fine.’

‘But it’s not your fault. We were kids. You were a kid. It wasn’t your responsibility to help me or see what things were like at home. I didn’t even realise the full extent of it until I was in Edinburgh and away from the situation. It took a lot of reflection, and a lot of crying in a therapist’s office, to realise what things were like. When we were kids, I didn’t know any different. It was just the way that I lived.’

A tear fell down Taron’s cheek and Liliana wiped it with the pad of her thumb, a sad smile on her face as she started to cry herself.

‘Look at us. I’m crying and none of it even happened to me.’ He took a long, deep, shaky breath and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his t-shirt. ‘I regret that we lost touch.’

Liliana squeezed his hand once to tell him that she agreed and he smiled a very small smile at her.

‘We just completely lost touch and didn’t speak for fourteen years. I hate that we didn’t talk.’ His words were quiet, barely above a whisper, almost as if he were talking to himself rather than Liliana. ‘Now that we’ve finally reconnected, I would love nothing more than to stay in touch. I want us to keep our promises this time. I think that’s why I offered to drive you back to Aber. It gives us some uninterrupted time to just be together and talk about anything. Or nothing. I just want to be around you, Lil. I want us to be friends again. Real friends like we were before.’

‘I would love nothing more than to be friends again,’ Liliana smiled.

‘Things will be different this time around,’ Taron said strongly. ‘I won’t let anything like that happen to you again.’

They fell into another silence and Liliana focused on the road ahead. She thought back to being a child and how different her life really had been from the other kids in her class. Taron’s hand on hers kept her grounded as she remembered.

While all of her friends were out playing on the street on their bikes or playing with a ball in the local field, Liliana was cleaning or cooking dinner for the family. Even when she was as young as nine. She would go to the shop daily when they had run out of bread or milk or sugar and they needed more. When her friends were being called inside to get in the bath, she was making her mum a cup of tea so that she wouldn’t get into trouble.

Liliana would do everything in her power to make her mum happy, just so she could feel safe in her own house. If Eliza wasn’t happy, she would brush Liliana off completely. It had started before her dad left but it only got worse when he did. Eliza resented Liliana and took her anger and frustration out on her. Liliana being the kid that she was, would always plaster a smile on her face and act as though nothing was wrong, using the free time she had to go outside with Taron or visit his family when she needed somewhere safe to be.

She wiped a tear away without Taron seeing and blinked hard to stop herself from falling apart right there in his car. Taron had remained quiet but he knew she was going into a place that would make her sad and he wanted to cheer her up so he racked his brain for things he could distract her with.

‘Tell me more about Matilda,’ he said, remembering how Liliana had lit up the first time she told him about her.

‘She’s a little firecracker,’ she laughed, pulling up a photo of her on her phone to show Taron quickly while there was no traffic around. ‘She turned ten in August but if you knew her, you wouldn’t believe she was any younger than 21. She’s so smart. Smarter than I ever was at her age, and she’s got these beautiful brown eyes that just scream innocence. It’s one of the only differences between us; our eye colour. And our height. She’ll be taller than me soon. Her dad is a giant though so it doesn’t surprise me. She’s everything I ever wanted. Tell me more about Rosie and Marie. We were cut off the other week.’

‘If Matilda is a firecracker then they are little rascals,’ he chuckled, his head shaking. ‘They are to me what Matilda is to you. They’re my half siblings but I would never call them anything but my sisters. I hate the whole half sibling thing. They are my sisters and it’s as simple as that.’

Liliana nodded furiously. ‘Yes! Matilda is my sister. I’d be so mean to be like ‘no she’s just my half sister’. She isn’t half a sibling. She’s a full sibling.’

‘Exactly. They are honestly so amazing and I can’t wait to see them. They’re similar ages to Matilda. Maybe one day we could take them all out somewhere and they could get to know another. Continue the legacy of friendship.’

‘That’d be cool. Matilda loves meeting and talking to new people. Another difference between the two of us. Thank you for cheering me up. I don’t know how you always manage to do it. Even when you don’t know I need cheering up.’

Taron grabbed her hand affectionately. ‘It’s because I know you, Lil.’

***

‘Do you want me to come inside with you for a little bit?’

‘I’m okay, thank you though,’ Liliana responded with a smile.

She turned to her left and looked at the house she grew up in. It still looked like the same house. The bricks were still red and the path from the steps was worn and full of weeds. Yet somehow it felt different than it had the previous year and she couldn’t quite figure out why. It was the only house on the street without Christmas lights outside but she didn’t think that was it.

‘If you need anything, just let me know,’ Taron replied with a smile. Liliana returned it and took a deep breath. ‘I’m here for you, Lil.’

‘I know you are, thank you, Taron. I’ll text you later?’

Taron nodded and watched as Liliana stepped through the gate and up towards the house. He didn’t know what was waiting for her at the other side of the door but he could only hope that it was something good.

Rather than use her key to get in the house, Liliana knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer it. Much to her surprise, Hudson, her mum’s husband, opened it with a smile, pulling her into an awkward side hug.

‘It’s nice to see you. Your mum’s just nipped to do some last minute Christmas shopping. I don’t envy her.’

‘Neither do I,’ Liliana said through a forced smile. ‘Merry Christmas.’

‘Merry Christmas. I’m sure your sister will be down any minute. She’s making some Christmas biscuits and is waiting for them to cool so she can decorate them. Every time someone’s knocked at the door today she’s come to see if it’s you. I think she’s more excited for you to be here than she is Santa. Not that she’ll believe in him for much longer. Especially with her starting high school next year.’

‘High schoolers suck,’ Liliana sighed. ‘You go get yourself in the house. It’s absolutely freezing out there and I don’t want to let it all in.’

Hudson walked through to the living room just as Liliana heard a door shut upstairs. She watched as her little sister, who wasn’t so little anymore, peered over the bannister and beamed as soon as she saw her.

‘LILI!’ she squealed as she ran down the stairs, launching herself into Liliana’s arms and knocking her to the floor in a heap of hugs. ‘I’ve missed you.’

‘I’ve missed you too, little bug.’ Liliana’s voice broke and she tried her best not to cry. She held Matilda close, swaying her lightly. ‘Come on, your dad was telling me that you’ve been making biscuits and you know I love a good old Matilda biscuit.’

Matilda stood up and waited impatiently for Liliana to join her before she dragged her through to the kitchen. The dining table was covered in biscuits and bowls of icing of different colours. Bowls that were used to make the dough were scattered across the work tops and the sink was full of trays and cookie cutters.

The amount of flour that was on every surface made it look like it had been snowing inside and Liliana was sure there was biscuit dough on the walls in places.

‘Oh my this is a mess,’ she commented with a beaming grin. ‘How about I help you clean it all up before mum gets back?’

Matilda nodded begrudgingly. ‘The biscuits aren’t cooled enough anyway so I guess I can help clean up. Do you think you could help me decorate them? Please? It’s been ages since we last baked together.’

Liliana nodded, turning the small kitchen radio up a little so that they could listen to the Christmas songs while they cleaned. All I Want for Christmas is You played into the room and the two girls smiled widely at one another, instantly breaking out into their best dance moves and singing along.

Matilda started to stack the pots she’d used next to the sink so that they could be cleaned while Liliana carefully wiped the walls that were definitely splattered with biscuit dough and scraped the sides of flour so that she could clean them properly.

Once the room was clean and tidy, and the biscuits were finally cool enough to decorate, Matilda grabbed two aprons from behind the door and threw one to her big sister.

‘If you wear this then we won’t get icing all over your nice jumper,’ she said, tying her own apron behind her waist.

‘When did you get so grown up?’ Liliana mused, holding the sides of Matilda’s head so she could bring it to her lips to plant a sloppy kiss. ‘How do you want to decorate these?’

‘With as much icing as we can!’ Matilda dipped her finger into the green icing and licked it clean, smiling so brightly as she did that she lit some of the darkness in Liliana’s heart.

‘I should have known. I forget that you’re little miss obsessed with icing. They’re your biscuits so it’s up to you what we do with them.’

Matilda thought for a moment, tapping her foot against the chair the same way that Liliana did when she was her age. Liliana smiled at her little sister, so in awe of the person she was becoming. When she was Matilda’s age, her life looked so different. She was glad that it was different for her sister. That she wouldn’t have to go through the things she did.

‘I’m taking some to Granny and Grandad’s house tomorrow so they need to look super good. Can we do melting snowmen on the circle ones?’

Liliana nodded enthusiastically. ‘Of course we can! I might have some spare chocolates in my bag if you want to go get them? We could use it for buttons? Or eyes maybe.’

‘Oh yes please!’

Matilda jumped down and ran through to the hallway to retrieve Liliana’s handbag, walking back with it on her shoulder and strutting as if she were the grown adult. Liliana laughed at her and took the bag to see what she had left from the car journey.

She pulled out a bag of M&Ms and some Jelly Tots, the perfect things for snowmen buttons. ‘These are perfect.’

‘Jelly Tots, my favourite!’ Liliana poured some of the jelly sweets into Matilda’s hand and watched as she ate them happily. ‘Thank you. Other than the snowmen I want to take to Granny’s tomorrow, I don’t know what to do with the others so let’s just do whatever.’

‘Aye aye, captain,’ Liliana saluted. ‘Are you excited to see your Granny and Grandad tomorrow?’

Matilda nodded. ‘Yeah. Are you coming with us?’

‘I’m not, sorry sweetheart. I’m going to stay here and either go for a walk or go and see my friend if he isn’t busy.’

‘Are you going to be here for dinner tomorrow though?’

Liliana shrugged gently. ‘That depends on if mum wants me here, sweet girl. Hopefully I’ll be here.’

Her mum walked into the kitchen and scoffed at Liliana. ‘What’s it matter to me if you come for dinner or not? You come and go as you please anyway.’

‘Mum, please let’s not do this right now,’ Liliana begged, already feeling tears forming. ‘It’s Christmas.’

‘When was the last time you asked if you could come, huh? You just turn up. Like you did today. You turn up and then you leave at the drop of a hat and we don’t see you for months at a time. You aren’t around enough so why should I care if you’re here or not for dinner?’

Matilda cowered into her seat and reached over to put her hand on Liliana’s, looking up at her through thick eyelashes. Liliana gave her a small smile and motioned for her to leave the kitchen, for her own benefit. She didn’t need to hear the horrible things her mum was no doubt about to say.

Liliana watched as her mum flipped the kettle on and grabbed a mug from the cupboard. It was a mug Liliana had made her in school and painted meticulously. She wondered if her mum remembered how happy she had been to receive it. Probably not with how she slammed it onto the work top.

‘I always come at Christmas. You know that. I would love to come more often but I have to put myself and my happiness first.’

Eliza rolled her eyes at her oldest daughter and put her hand on her hip. ‘Do you know how selfish that is, Liliana? You don’t care about Matilda, or me, or put us first. It’s always about you and how you come first. You should have stayed closer to home and not run away to Edinburgh and London. Look at what you moving away has caused. You’re selfish.’

‘That’s not true and you know it isn’t,’ Liliana just about managed to get out. Tears had pooled in her eyes and she knew if she stayed then things would only get worse and she didn’t want that.

She wasn’t going to be the reason that Christmas was ruined for Matilda so she grabbed her bag, walked outside, closed the door behind her and started to walk.

The last thing she wanted to do was leave Matilda again. She wanted to go back and get her but she knew that it was too soon to be around Eliza again. It wasn’t the first time that she’d left Matilda after a row with her mum, and it wasn’t the first time her mum had called her selfish either.

September 15th, 2011

‘North Road, please.’

Liliana sat back in the taxi and exhaled a long breath. The greying clouds above the car reflected her mood. Dull and ready to burst at any given second. She rested her head against the window as the taxi drove through the streets of Aberystwyth and to the house she’d grown up in. Her small suitcase filled with only the essentials was on the seat next to her and she put her hand on it for no reason.

Despite the deep rooted feeling of anxiety she had whenever she was home, she was excited to head back and start her new job in London. She started working at a publishing company, Between the Lines, at the end of the week with Evelyn, who she had met at university. The flat she was moving into was small and a good half an hour commute to work but it was her own and she could do with it what she pleased. Moving to London was all she had wanted.

The taxi pulled up outside the house with the red front door and Liliana thanked him and handed over a five pound note, telling him to keep the forty-pence change. He nodded his gratitude before driving off when the back door was closed, leaving Liliana standing outside the house on her own for the first time since she was a teenager.

She couldn’t tell if the house was bigger or smaller than it was when she was younger. It seemed taller, as if booming over her and showing her just how vulnerable she was in its presence. But at the same time, it seemed narrower, less scary than it once looked.

As she walked up the short, tiled path to the front door she breathed deeply. A whole other life was at the other side of the door. A whole other family. A family she wasn’t a part of. Not really. Her mum and stepdad were happily married with a new baby and it was the first time that she was seeing her new sister since she’d been born a little over a month earlier.

Something that she couldn’t quite decipher washed over her as she pushed the door open on its hinges. Her feet were heavy, stuck to the wooden floor and unable to move, but she felt like she was floating. As though she wasn’t really there. Like she was dreaming and nothing was really happening.

Everything looked the same as she slipped her shoes off and stacked them on one of the steps above her mum’s. There were old family photos on the wall, some of her grandparents and some of Eliza with her siblings. Out of all the photos, there was only one of Liliana. It was a photo from when she was a baby dressed in white with the most unfortunate looking bonnet on her head. She was both happy and devastated that it was covered by coats.

‘Liliana, is that you?’ Her mum called from the living room. Liliana psyched herself up and forced a smile on her lips.

‘Yeah, mum. I’m just putting my shoes away and then I’ll come in.’

The living room door was slightly ajar and as Liliana pushed it open, she could see her baby sister asleep in the moses basket next to the sofa. Even just the sight of the tiny baby curled up all small and tiny had Liliana fighting back tears. Guilt had built up since the day she was born that she hadn’t seen her and even though she was still so small, Liliana hated that she wasn’t there when she was even tinier.

‘Can I hold her?’ She asked her mum quietly, scared to wake the tiny baby.

‘Yeah. I’m going to go get in the shower while you’re here. I’ll not be long.’

Liliana nodded through a teary smile and dropped her handbag on the sofa so that she could take a proper look at her sister. Her hands were curled into tiny fists next to her head and her lips were pouted slightly, something that Liliana did when she slept. With one hand underneath her neck to support her head and one under her bum, Liliana lifted the baby from the basket and held her close, staring at her.

At almost twenty-two, she didn’t expect to have a new sibling but as soon as her sister was in her arms, she could feel the emotions manifesting wholly. Tears dropped down her cheeks as she sat on the sofa and just stared at the baby. She enjoyed the dumpy weight of her sister in her arms.

Liliana held out one of her fingers to stroke the little one’s fingers and they gripped around it tightly, not letting her go.

‘I’m not quite sure how it’s possible but I love you more than I’ve loved anything before,’ she whispered quietly, pressing a dainty kiss to her sister’s forehead. ‘I won’t let anybody hurt you, Matilda, I promise. I’ll always be your protector.’

Matilda stirred slightly but Liliana rocked her back to sleep, so in awe of the tiny human in her arms.

‘Look at you,’ Eliza spoke up from the doorway when she’d had her shower. ‘It’s about time you came to meet her.’

‘Mum, you know I’ve been finishing university and trying to get my life together. I haven’t been able to be here all of the time like I wanted to be and I am sorry.’

When Eliza told her that the baby had been born, Liliana went to book a train ticket straight away to meet her, even if it was just for the day. She wanted to help her mum and meet her sister and be there for her family the way she had always wanted to, but Eliza had continuously put the visit off for one reason or another.

Liliana could understand some of the time, like when she was too tired for visitors. But then the excuses that she needed to get used to looking after a baby after not having one for over twenty years, and needing to take time for herself, became more common and Liliana stopped fighting. She stopped trying to tell her mum that she could nap while Liliana looked after Matilda or she could have a bath or shower. Liliana would be there for whatever she needed. Eliza never let her though.

Eliza scoffed loudly. ‘You’re just selfish, that’s what it is. Spending more time away from us, your home, and swanning about Scotland as if nobody else matters. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Liliana’

Liliana tried her best not to bite. Instead she casts her gaze to Matilda who was so sweet and innocent and who she would do anything in her power to change the way she was treated. When she looked back up to her mum she saw just how tired she looked. For a second she felt great sympathy for her. She wasn’t used to not sleeping at night and waking up at all hours to look after a baby. And that’s what it took for her mind to race with thoughts of her mum being unable to look after Matilda.

She didn’t want the same things she went through to happen to Matilda. She wanted her sister to have the best childhood with loving parents in a loving home that always felt like a safe space and somewhere she could run to when she was feeling down. Liliana didn’t want Matilda to feel like she had to run away to a different country for university just to get away from their mum.

Eliza’s new husband, Hudson, worked long hours and was only there on an evening and night time when Matilda was a little more settled. He wasn’t there during the day when Matilda would scream for hours at a time with no let up. He wasn’t there when Eliza was rocking her trying to get her to sleep and growing more and more agitated with her and wanting to leave her on her own to cry.

‘Mum, I know that university has taken me away and I hate that I haven’t been here for the start of Matilda’s life but I’m here now. I’m here to support you however you need it. Even if it’s just to go shower in peace and make yourself feel like you again.’

She knew there was a chance that Eliza would blow up but she didn’t think it would happen while she had Matilda in her arms.

‘Why, are you planning on moving back home? Are you finally going to do what you were destined to do and get a job on the seafront and get one of the crappy flats in town? Which is it? How are you going to be here, Liliana?’

‘I moved to London last week,’ Liliana said calmly, rocking Matilda again. ‘I have a job with the same publishing company that I worked with for placement a couple of years ago. It’s a huge opportunity for me and I’m going to be a shorter train ride away than I was in Edinburgh. So I can be here whenever you need me. I want to be here, for Matilda.’

Eliza shook her head. ‘You need to stop butting into our lives here. Leave.’

‘What?’

‘You haven’t been here for the past four years so what makes you think you’re going to be here now? You’re never here and I don’t think you ever will be. You just want to say that you’re here. But you won’t be. I want you to leave my house.’

‘But mu-’

‘Out, Liliana. I mean it.’

Liliana was transported back to being eleven and hearing her mum scream at her dad to get out of the house. Her heart sank and anxiety built from the bottom of her tummy to the top of her head. She stood up carefully and kissed Matilda’s head again before placing her gently in the moses basket.

‘I love you, little bug. I love you so much.’

She cried as she pulled her shoes on and got her suitcase from the small cupboard, and she cried as she left the house and locked the door again.

***

Despite Autumn’s fast approach, the air was warm and Liliana knew exactly where she needed to go to clear her head. On top of Constitution Hill the sun was warm and she’d taken her jacket off to enjoy the rays against her arms.

The tree behind her was beginning to transform, its leaves changing from a vibrant green to a reddish brown. Another sign of the changing season. The bark of the trunk was harsh against her back but nowhere near as harsh as her mother’s words had been to her less than an hour before.

A sob escaped her and tears spilled down her cheeks and pooled on her chest. Her breaths were sharp and uneven, as though hands wrapped around her throat and squeezed her of every ounce of breath, trapping her in a world of darkness.

Fear was second nature to Liliana. It had been since she was a little girl. But there was something about the fear she felt on top of the hill that was unlike anything she’d experienced before. She sobbed to herself for what felt like hours but as she finally began to calm down and her breathing regulated again, she pulled her phone from her bag and unlocked it.

Her thumb hovered over his contact. The one person she needed to speak to. The person who would understand what she was going through and who would be able to talk her down from doing anything crazy.

She put her phone away, unsure as to whether he would have the same number as he did four years ago, or if he would even answer if she tried to call him. So she stared at the sea instead, trying to figure out what she was going to do.

She booked a train ticket home for that afternoon. It wiped her out of money until she got paid two weeks later but she couldn’t stand being in town any longer. She needed to leave.

To go home.

#rhw #right here waiting #taron egerton #taron egerton au #taron egerton fluff #taron egerton blurb #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton fic #taron egerton fanfic #taron egerton writing #taron egerton x reader #taron egerton fanfiction #taron egerton x oc #taron egerton drabble #my writing

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lilflowerpot · 1 year

Note

hello flower! i’ve never submitted an ask to tumblr before, but i just wanted to say this.

(btw, everything in this post is true. it’s kinda an unbelievable story)

i’ve been a fan of LB since it’s publish! i’m pretty sure i discovered it in mid 2018, so i’ve been here for a long time!

i’ve been following ur writing for years and watched you improve annually. i fell in love with your story and writing extremely quickly, and i always looked forward to your new chapters. i distinctly remember feeling ecstatic when keith finally revealed his face !!

however, in 2019, i suffered a catastrophic head injury whilst skiing, which caused me to lose most - if not all - my memories. in truth, i should of died or been in a coma, but i escaped with some critical injuries instead. a broken neck, fractured skull, broken eye socket, the whole shebang lol.

luckily, i was not paralyzed, and i can say now that my recovery has been well! i’m back to being fully functional (sometimes) except for a couple motor control issues.

but the real problem was my memory, i could remember my family and relationships, but i forgot practically every fundamental fact about myself, including my middle name. additionally, i suffered a lot from aphasia and neuro problems which made me struggle to understand sounds coming from people if that makes sense. to cure this, my mom and dad introduced me to (guess what!) voltron. they knew it was my fav show before the crash, so in a sense, they tried to reignite my memories and help work on my sensory processing ability.

i fell in love with the show - again- and watched it during my recovery. probably the only reason i can talk today is because of vld! i find it a little ironic that despite losing myself in the crash, i came full circle. and u can probably guess what happens next!

in 2021, i rediscovered ur fic whilst in the voltron tab. it kinda shocked me to see “Visited: 309” under the fic because i had no recollection of ever reading it. the person i was before must’ve loved it, so i gave it a shot! (btw, me before crash and me now i consider different ppl)

so, i began to read, every word from start to finish. and, as cheesy as it sounds, i think i fell in love again. my recovery has been endlessly difficult and was particularly rough 2020-2021, so this kinda supported me in a way. seeing the growing number of how many times i visited LB reminded me that i had existed the day before.

to give context, every morning i woke up, i would forget almost everything abt myself. eventually that got resolved, but it was jarring. so, seeing that number rise, and reliving the joy of reading LB for the first time gave me hope.

LB means so much to me for this reason. sometimes when it felt like i was losing my humanity to depression and pain, it reminded me that, out there, the previous versions of me were hoping to read LB again. in a sense, i was motivated to read the new chapters as an ode to my previous-day self if that makes sense.

now, 7 months after successfully waking up and remembering the previous day, i am writing this with tears in my eyes. i am writing this with a smile, and i’m writing this with the hope that it reminds you that your literature has saved me, and i’m sure countless other people.

in a way, i view LB as the sunrise. even though there’s the chance that tomorrow never comes, the sunrise serves as a reminder that the previous day existed, and that there are more sunrises to look forward to.

and, to be honest, i think that if i woke up forgetting everything everyday, id be okay with it because i get to read your fic for the first time - again. also, the humor in it is 10/10 haha!!

(also, if u were wondering or worried, i’m also okay with waking up with no memories do to other things and not just LB. incase u were worried that i’m strictly dependent on LB, which i’m not LMAO)

i would’ve submitted this a couple months ago, but i couldn’t put it into words. i don’t think i can possibly explain what you and your fic means to me, so the sun over the horizon will have to do.

even if you think that it’s cheesy that a goofy voltron fic means so much to someone, i hope you find it in yourself to treasure your talent and skill in writing.

i’m so excited for the next chapter, and the next sunrise i get to see <3

here is a pic of the sun i took this morning. thank you for writing, and reading this really long ask. there’s no pressure to respond, although it would be cool to see, but i hope you read this nonetheless. btw u can publish the response if u were wondering.

sincerely,

D <3

I have been trying quite desperately to compose an answer to this one since it first appeared in my inbox, and at this point I don't know that I'll ever be able to do you justice, but two months is far too long for you to have waited for something of this magnitude, so please bear with me while I endeavour to do my absolute best.

First and foremost, I am so sorry for everything you've been through (though I can only assume you've heard that sentiment ad nauseam, so do forgive me if you're sick of it), but more than that I am distinctly and unbelievably proud of the grace with which you seem to have taken such catastrophe in stride. I couldn't possibly claim comprehend the true scope of all that you've endured, but I hope in some small way it might give you,,, comfort? a sense of camaraderie maybe? to know that aphasia is something I'm intimately familiar with as a recurrent symptom of my migraines, due to them being hemiplegic in nature, so I know the frustration of being unable to comprehend sounds you know you should recognise- being unable to articulate your own thoughts- feeling half trapped inside your own damn skull- all too well, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, least of so sweet a soul as yourself.

My darling, I'll say again: I am //fiercely fucking proud// of you, for not only enduring but in truth overcoming all that you have. Though we do not know one another, this message alone bleeds with such admirable strength of character that I cannot think you anything less than a remarkable and resilient individual, and to know that my writing could in any capacity support you through such an ordeal is both an honour and a privilege.

All my love,

lilflowerpot ♡

#sincerely I am in tears #sa screams back #the author speaks

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sisionscreen · 7 months

Note

Do you think charlotte of Belgium will be in the third season of the empress? Because I haven’t seen or heard anything that shows she’ll be in it

The Empress hasn't even been renewed for a third season yet, so who knows, well besides writer and showrunner Katharins Eyssen?

I mean we do have Maximilian, so I would hope for her eventually. There hasn't been a casting announcement for her for season 02 but that doesn't mean anything. I think I forgot to post a photo of Johannes Nussbaum rehearsing what looks like a dance with an actress during the summer but I haven't checked who she is supposed to play or whether that has been announced. It could be Charlotte but she didn't look too much like Charlotte to me, but that does mean shit in most historical series these days. I will dig through my phone and see if I still have a screenshot of the photo saved. If I do I'll post it.

Since you said third season, did you maybe mean Sisi (2021)? I think we can be certain that they won't include her (yet), as they haven't introduced any of Franz's brothers and we will only get his father for the very first time this season according to the official instagram account (no still or behind the scenes photo of him yet btw).

This question reminds me to actually look up what happened to that Maximilian & Charlotte series that was in the making. Haven't heard about that in over a year.

#Charlotte of Belgium #Sisi #Sisi (2021)#The Empress #the empress (2022)#Die Kaiserin

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ravixen · 2 years

Text

I posted 1,740 times in 2022

That's 729 more posts than 2021!

259 posts created (15%)

1,481 posts reblogged (85%)

(under read more because it's REALLY long)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@neonun-au

@ambivartence

@dokyeomblr

@ravixen

@lesbiancarat

I tagged 1,718 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#seventeen - 590 posts

#gifs - 521 posts

#pictures - 397 posts

#katalk - 217 posts

#feedback - 109 posts

#text - 107 posts

#nct - 96 posts

#video - 85 posts

#ravixen - 84 posts

#anonymous.reply - 82 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#skye i think u put into words why i'm having a hard time getting into the newer groups??? or maybe i just don't have the energy anymore

My Top Posts in 2022:

The previous anon with the link

I’m fine with any whether it is OT13 or any 5-6 members 🥰

svt + s/o taking off promise ring after a fight

➔ reaction || requested || domestic!au || ot13

➔ warnings: arguing mention || 354 words ➔ notes: hurt/not quite comfort, angst ; this anon requested something similar to this post by @rutowonz. since loki was directly referenced, i asked and got the okay to write this! if you liked this reaction, pls reblog for visibility! for additional context, highly recommend: svt + fighting with their s/o ➔ pt. 1 | pt. 2

the way you've been fidgeting with the ring on your finger is distracting, and as the argument continues, his gaze can't help flickering down now and then to observe what you're doing. he really hopes you don't take it off at some point. this isn't a drama, he keeps telling himself, but his worries come true and his throat closes up as you slip off the ring completely. the words die on his tongue, and you haven't even noticed, rolling the metal between your fingers. he approaches you carefully, reaching for your hands first to take the ring and put it back in place without a sound:

JEONGHAN, minghao, seungkwan

"stop that," he says suddenly, and you freeze at his tone, at the way his eyes are widened and staring at your hands, but his voice startles you. the room is silent, save for the high pitched clink of your promise ring hitting the floor, clattering a few times before rolling to a stop by his feet. he picks it up and holds it out to you, eyebrows furrowed as if asking whether you meant something by it. you didn't, you swear:

seungcheol, SOONYOUNG, mingyu

he finds your ring on the kitchen counter when he goes to get water. it's nearly 4am and you're sound asleep in the guest room, not wanting to stay in the same bed tonight, so there's no way you took it off and forgot about it...he pockets the ring, fingers curling tight around it like he's holding together the pieces of his heart. he'll sort this out with you in the morning. he doesn't want to think about what it means, but it has him tossing and turning all night:

junhui, jihoon, vernon

you approach him and wait for him to hold out a hand before dropping the promise ring into his palm. the silence is deafening. he looks at you, down at the ring, up at you again. "what're you saying?" he finally manages, though it's a hoarse whisper, more of a croak than his actual voice. please don't break his heart here:

joshua, WONWOO, seokmin, chan

379 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

Could you do the rest of the members reaction for s/o who's clingy during socializing? I found it too cute!

svt + s/o who's clingy in social situations (pt 3)

➔ reaction || request

➔ warnings: none || 447 words ➔ notes: fluff, shy!y/n ; hey there, anon!! i also think this prompt is super cute, so thanks for helping me wrap up the series. i've gotten better with my social skills, especially because of the upgrade in customer service experience, but when i'm tired or shy or feeling vulnerable, i definitely feel like this y/n. btw i changed the scenario a little bit! as always, please reblog if you liked <3

JEONGHAN: i feel like he realizes early on, but he doesn't tell you lmfao he likes messing with you, so he'll be like, "alright, see you in a bit!" and you're fine until you realize just how many guests are coming in late. he's never too far, though, so once you start looking around, he materializes, easing the cup out of your hand to lace your fingers together. it's cute how the tension literally melts from your shoulders. he doesn't do it much — he hates when you're feeling distressed.

WONWOO: it takes him a long time to notice your habit, to be honest. whenever he pulls you in and introduces you to new people, you fall into the conversation with an easy smile and a charming laugh. the fact that you always slip your hand into his? thought you were just trying to be cute. it isn't until he sees you gripping the edge of seungcheol's sleeve as you talk with a different group that he realizes. after that, he stops wandering off at gatherings in case you need him.

SEOKMIN: he will literally stop talking and ask you what you're doing, and that makes your wrinkle your nose in embarrassment. "nothing," you tell him, hand moving back to your own pocket. but he doesn't mean it maliciously — you just surprised him by grabbing the back of his shirt. the person in front of you excuses themself for a drink while seokmin takes your wrist and tucks it into his elbow. your fingers curl into the fabric as he leads you around. your now relaxed posture doesn't go unnoticed by him.

MINGYU: he likes socializing with people, and people like socializing with him. so whenever you arrive at an event, he'll tell you to wander off on your own while he greets the others. it's not because he doesn't want to be with you — he just feels bad taking up your time. this time, you hover by his shoulder, twiddling your fingers as you ask, "...can i go with you?" why didn't you ask him earlier omg he loves that you're hanging off his arm.

CHAN: he loves when you depend on him. it's like — wow, you trust him enough? he makes you feel safe? so when you ask to hold his hand, skittish amidst the growing crowd, he can't help standing a little straighter. "of course," he says, beaming with all the warmth in the world as you take hold of his sleeve. he takes his role as your pillar very seriously and keeps you behind him as he parts the crowd. it's hard to stay nervous when he keeps squeezing your hands to check in.

461 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

seventeen HHU + Jeonghan favorite small touches? haha i don't know how to phrase it, but like headpats and forehead kisses ^_^

svt + small touches

➔ reaction || requested

➔ 291 words ➔ notes: fluff ; hi there!! i decided to keep this quick and casual for a different vibe. thanks for sending it in :) i interpreted it as little touches that they do to you rather than the other way around. it's not necessarily their favorite, but more like what they do most often? reblog if you liked <3

SEUNGCHEOL: whenever he passes you, i feel like he squeezes your hip. it's nothing more than that; he grabs you quickly with one hand and then moves on with a grin and a murmured excuse me because he's sure that you're thinking of him now. it doesn't matter if there's plenty of space for him to go around you.

JEONGHAN: he definitely puts a hand on your leg. regardless of whether his attention is actively on you, he slides his hand over and places it on your thigh. he squeezes your knee affectionately when it gets chaotic, and i know i talk about him doing this all the time, but it's canon, okay.

WONWOO: i firmly believe that he's a shirt tugger. when you're standing by the couch talking to someone across the room, he'll tug on your shirt until you sit down next to him. when he gets fidgety, he'll pull on your sleeves without a word. sometimes he doesn't even realize he's doing it.

MINGYU: he puts his feet in your lap, if not himself. it doesn't matter how much of a gap you put between you two. he just keeps scooting over, and before you know it, he has his legs thrown over yours, curling into you as he laughs at someone's joke. this doesn't count as a small touch, but oh well.

VERNON: he seeks you out in a crowd. comes up next to you with his hands stuffed into his pockets and taps your shoulder with his. it's enough to get your attention, and when you look over, he shoots you a smile. sometimes the smile is just a greeting, sometimes it's asking if you're alright. regardless, he stays there with his elbow brushing against yours.

505 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

hello!! if it’s okay to request, may i ask for jeonghan joshua hoshi wonwoo and jihoon’s reaction to their s/o saying “i love you” to them so casually even though it’s their first time saying it? ahah i’d like to think s/o is not shy, just maybe not a very verbal person... does that make sense? AGAIN only if it’s okay!! thank you so much, i love your works :)

svt + s/o's first "i love you"

➔ reaction || requested

➔ 793 words ➔ notes: fluff ; yes, that makes total sense and of course it's ok!! these reactions are more like their reaction to a casual first "i love you." the first time i said it, i was so shy haha sorry you have to wait so long for these posts ;A; i wish i could write faster. if you liked, pls reblog <3

JEONGHAN: "i'm going to a meeting, but feel free to make yourself at home until i'm back. the others don't mind when you're here," he tells you from the front hall, hands busy tugging on his boots. you hum from the couch, raising your arm in a half hearted farewell that he can't see. "okay, drive safe, i love you." the footsteps marching towards the door suddenly stop. there's hurried unzipping as he kicks off his boots and rushes into the living room again. "what'd you say?" the distance between the threshold and your spot is tiny, but his voice is breathless as he stops by your side. "say that again." you furrow your brows. "okay, bye, drive safe...?" but with the way you're fighting your smile, he knows you're teasing him on purpose. sits on your lap and refuses to get up until you say it. "i'm going to be late, y'know." "and whose fault is that???" "yours!"

JOSHUA: maybe he would've reacted differently if you two were alone, but you're not alone. two other members are in the kitchen preparing snacks for movie night, and they definitely heard your casual "i love you" when he asked about — actually, he can't remember what happened leading up to this moment. what were you saying before? his mind is filled with his friends' amused ooh's from the other room, and he's busy planning how he can respond without making a fool of himself. he settles for pressing a kiss to your knuckles and smiling to soothe your nerves. "we'll talk after this," he says, squeezing your fingers as you nod. it's all he can think about during the movie, though. if you wanted to distract him from something he's wanted to watch for a while, congrats, you've succeeded, so now you have to re-watch it with him.

SOONYOUNG: he's face down on the practice room floor when you come in and squat beside him. "whatcha up to?" you prod at his shoulder. he groans, twiddling his fingers in your general direction. "taking a break. there's this cool part in the song, but none of my moves really fit." he huffs. "i figured i'd clear my head and try again in a bit." "you want snacks?" "yes please." "alright, i'll be back. love you." his hand shoots out to grab your ankle before you can step away. he doesn't move, though; it's silent for a moment until he lets out a single chuckle. a pause, and then another chuckle. it doesn't take long for him to start full-on giggling into the ground and you're rolling your eyes when he flips onto his back, giddy smile as infectious as ever. you poke his forehead this time, red from sticking to the wood flooring. "want to walk to the store with me? maybe the air here is getting to you."

WONWOO: you perk up at the box of sweets in his hands. "wow, i was craving these!" you exclaim as he opens the package and gives you one. "i know. i overhead you muttering about it, so i picked some up," he says, taking one for himself. you've been hyping them up so much; time to see if they're actually good. he takes a bite. "you're always paying attention. thanks for that, i love you." he chokes and hits his chest before wheezing, "you can't just — say that out of nowhere!" he's burying his face in his hands now, bent over at the waist. this is so embarrassing. he can't believe you just said those words and his first reaction wasn't to say it back but to nearly do a spit take like in a tv show. peeking out from between his fingers, he mumbles, "can we rewind two minutes and do that again?"

JIHOON: he's showing you one of his party tricks, probably the karaoke echo one, and the way he's getting weirdly excited over it has your heart so fond. "you're cute," you say, laughing at how your attention stokes his ego. his spine straightens at that. "i love you." he stops then, nearly dropping his microphone. "ah, is that so." he nods like it's not a big deal, but he can't make eye contact anymore and you know how he acts when he's embarrassed, so when his ears get progressively redder, your grin just widens. "can you show me another trick? maybe the finger snapping one? you haven't done that one in a while." "huh? oh, yeah. yeah, i can. uh." you've rarely seen him so flustered, and it's sweet that he's like this over just a few words. it'll take him a day or two, but he'll text you and ask if you meant what you said. of course you did??

543 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hi aeris !! i hope ur having a nice day :) can i request for a hhu + jeonghan reaction where instead of making them sleep on the couch/in another room after an argument, you do it instead? thank uu <3

svt + you sleeping on the couch

➔ reaction || requested || domestic!au

➔ 755 words ➔ notes: fluff ; as i'm writing this, i'm having a very busy day </3 but i'm accepting that i'll always be stressed so that it's easier to look for the positive things. like ayato coming home >:) i'll make sure of it. if you liked, pls reblog for visibility!

SEUNGCHEOL: he realizes what you're doing as soon as you grab your pillow from the bed, so he blocks the door with his absurdly wide shoulders. "where do you think you're going?" he asks, crossing his arms and straightening his spine for good measure, but his leader posture is negated by his fuzzy bunny-printed pjs. "to sleep." he nods behind you. "the bed's over there, though." you stare at him, eyebrow raised, wondering who will move first. of course, it's him. it takes a few minutes before he steps into you, places his hands on your waist, and walks you backwards until your legs hit the bed and you tumble back. he hooks a leg around your ankles. "alright, now go to sleep." he closes his eyes, ignoring how you squirm in his arms. you huff. "scoot over. if you're going to be difficult, at least let me get comfortable."

JEONGHAN: he knows what you're doing, but he also knows that he can't manhandle you out of anything, so he settles for trailing behind you as you collect your pillow and an extra blanket from the closet. "...what are you doing?" you finally ask when he also grabs a blanket. he shrugs. "whatever you're doing." he follows you to the living room, and while you get settled on the couch, he sits on the floor by you and throws the blanket over his legs. "seriously, what are you doing?" you huff, unable to turn off the lamp. "you think i'm going to let you sleep out here alone?" "you're going to hurt your back." "and you won't?" still upright, he leans back against the couch and closes his eyes. "good night." he's definitely guilting you into going to bed because you can't just let him stay like that, but hey, it works.

WONWOO: he tries to pull the pillow from your grasp, but your fingers dig into it, crushing the soft shape between your hands. "i'm going to sleep on the couch," you snap. this was supposed to be a way to distance yourself from the argument, but your decision is quickly on track to blowing up into another argument. he frowns. "no, it's fine. i can," he insists. "you always complain about how lumpy it is." "so you don't want to hear me complain again? is that it?" his frown deepens. "that's not...i want you to have a good night's sleep for tomorrow. you have that big thing that you've been working on, right? you need rest." your stance relaxes at that. he remembered?? you only mentioned it in passing. he uses your hesitation to spin you around and nudge you back into the room. "so let's go, hurry and sleep."

MINGYU: the argument made him so exhausted that he crawled into bed and fell asleep. he figured that you'd join him later, which is why he's so confused when he wakes up in the middle of the night and your side is still empty. it's cold, like you were never there in the first place, and there's no sounds of you in the bathroom or the kitchen. pulling on a sweatshirt, he pads out into the hallway, whispering your name in case he scares you. he finds you splayed out on the couch, a throw blanket tucked around you. "hey, wake up," he murmurs, frowning as he nudges your shoulder. "come to bed." you blink up at him blearily before burying your face in the couch. "no." "are you still mad?" "...no." clearly, it's time for drastic measures. he lays over you, smushing your body into the cushions. "wha — mingyu!"

VERNON: he rests against the headboard, scrolling through his phone and waiting for you to come in, but after he sees the same video for the fifth time, he decides to go look for you. he finds you curled up on the couch, pretending to be asleep even though the lamp is still on. leaning over you, he asks, "what're you doing out here?" "...sleeping." "oh, okay." he knows it's because of the argument, but he can't just leave you; he'd rather risk your ire than have you shivering under the thin blanket. shuffling around for the tv remote, he finds it under the table and scoots your legs over to make room. once he's settled, he puts your legs over his lap. "why's the tv on?" he shrugs. "we might as well watch a movie." with your comfort movie on-screen, it isn't long until you're curled into his side.

946 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I DIDN'T THINK THE TOP POST HAD ALMOST 1K NOTES

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jalshristovski · 1 year

Text

This is the drama theatre in Mariupol as updated by Google maps today.

I’m not Ukrainian but regardless I am so sick of RuZZians claiming it’s still a “military operation” or that they’re “saving Ukraine”.

You can see the Russian Orthodox Church is fine, but even in this small, zoomed in screenshot, you can see everything around it has been raised to the ground.

They’re not saving Ukraine, they never have been. They’re murdering innocent people on the daily. This happened so long ago, and yet these images, these literal Google Maps images, are so hard to look at, knowing the people that were in that drama theatre are dead.

Maybe you’re out of the loop or forgot, but «дети» means kids or children. Many people were writing it places where there were children present, in hopes the RuZZians wouldn’t hurt them, that they’d have enough of a soul to be like “Hey those are citizens, are they are children. Let’s not” but they did. That building is destroyed. But more importantly, everyone who was in that theatre was destroyed. They will never get their lives back. Those children will never live to see teenhood, adulthood, anything. And their friends since then have never seen them again.

The worst part about all this, is that this hasn’t stopped. It hasn’t stopped happening. The orcs have just gotten worse. Mass graves, torture chambers, kidnappings, and enough war crimes to fill a book longer than the Bible.

There have been kids who have been freed (by Ukrainians) and told they were made to dance for RuZZian soldiers, and their parents had to watch. If they didn’t agree they were killed. There was found torture chambers made for children, and children have been kidnapped en masse to Russia to be adopted and Russified by Russian parents. That doesn’t even cover half of it.

We can’t forget events like what happened at the drama theatre, because once we forget, it will be lost with history. And everyone knows the saying about those who forget history. Because it has been said again and again. And you’d think with how many times we’ve heard it we’d listen. But no, history repeats itself, and we as a society have let Ukraine down. We have let them down, and now they’re dealing with RuZZia. Again.

This wasn’t even a surprise. Anyone who keeps up with current events knows that this was expected to happen in 2021 in May, that RuZZia was building up forces on the border, but they hadn’t invaded at that time. But lo and behold, there they came to Ukraine less than a year later, and here they are, still in Ukraine over a year after that.

I don’t fucking care what issue you have going on. If you still use Ukraine as a talking point for your whataboutism, I’m not listening to you. You’ve lost all of my respect in the span of a second. “Everyone’s talking about Ukraine but what about…” just stop. Those people show how unintelligent, and unempathetic they are very quickly.

Most importantly as a society we need to get out more and continue to protest this invasion, and get our countries to take more action. When Ukraine says they need support, we need to give it.

I know this post was just repeating a lot of what we’ve heard, a lot of what Ukrainians have been saying, begging the world to hear, but it’s all still important and relevant. We can’t become pessimistic to this. Please.

Thank you

#Ukraine #Invasion of Ukraine #Ukraine War #RuZZia #Слава Україні #Героям Слава #Mariupol #Маріуполь

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tobiwan72 · 1 year

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I posted 970 times in 2022

That's 320 more posts than 2021!

554 posts created (57%)

416 posts reblogged (43%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fatmaninalittlesuit

@purplenickel

@evolvingperceptions7

@belovedgoofball

I tagged 405 of my posts in 2022

#journaling - 142 posts

#self accountability - 116 posts

#fitblr - 111 posts

#mental health - 72 posts

#onechoiceatatime - 67 posts

#onestepatatime - 62 posts

#life - 60 posts

#my photography - 58 posts

#original photographers on tumblr - 55 posts

#original photography on tumblr - 53 posts

Longest Tag: 78 characters

#my parents think that being family is a good enough reason to make up for like

My Top Posts in 2022:

Disclaimer

You are better off not knowing me. I am a complete mess. A broken, dark, lost soul who will only drag you down. I am an emotional, mental, and spiritual wreck. I am not worth saving. So save yourself heartache and move along.

UPDATE: No, you don't need to ask me what I do for a living in the first few sentences. No, I do not live alone, I have 4 roommates. Yes, I will ask you if you have read this and if you say you did and then ask questions answered by this, I will just block you.

Please Note: I don't do the following, EVER

Google Hangouts

Instagram

Cryptocurrency

Right Wingers Need Not Apply!

I don't do "Hookups"

Not looking for a "Mistress"

Pineapples

17 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

Caution: extreme guitar nerding ahead.

It’s weird, I have always HATED Ibanez guitars. Way back in the 90’s I tried one and hated the frets and the way it played. I now believe it was just a horrible representation of the brand. I have always have been kind of a Fender player. I picked up a cheap Telecaster, a Squire, and I love it. I decided I needed a guitar with humbuckers and was looking at a Telecaster Deluxe. They had this cool looking Ibanez and I decided to give it a shot. It’s a dual humbucker with a string through body design. I love it.

I decided to acquire a guitar with a tremolo unit. I got rid of some old gear and got a great deal on a second Ibanez. A Jem Jr. The Jem is the guitar that Steve Vai and he has used one since the late 80’s. The Jr is made in Indonesia with cheaper wood and components. It. Plays. AWESOME! It’s a vibrant, bright pink. It has dark silver hardware with the “Tree of Life” inlay instead of dots or shark tooth markers. It has immediately become my number one guitar, displacing my old Fender American Standard Stratocaster.

It sounds great clean, dirty, and everywhere in between. Anyways enough rambling. Here are the new babies lol

See the full post

17 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

Some quick photos

19 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

National Colonial Farm... Again

I went back to National Colonial Farm again today. I love this park, it is lovely, well marked trails, and rarely busy. It is right across the river from Mount Vernon.

See the full post

21 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Walking

I forgot how much exercise, even light exercise, improves my mood. I need to keep this up instead of doing it once or twice. Why do I always forget and listen to the bad thoughts? It is so weird. I need to get back on track. I need to make tracks, not excuses…

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46 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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dustysalmon · 1 year

Note

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. It's time to spread positivity 💙

Just want to also state that I love your old Vik content to bits. Viktor is still my love and has been since the game launched. I still have your pics and gifs saved to my secret Vik stash and look at em a lot🥺‼️I remember you were one of my fave blogs when Vik was really being talked about in 2021. I shared so much from you and many other Vik posting blogs!☺️I will never get sick of him!☺️✨

Love seeing you pop up in my notifications every now and then, you post some really cool things☺️

Vik content makes me really happy and I really wanted to let you know how much I loved yours. And also you are a great Choomie and I hope all is well for you. Sending you all the love and hugs❤️‍🩹

Ohh thank you so much! Truth be told, I do miss my Vik era a little bit, those were good times for sure. Haven't posted about him or CP2077 in a while but they remain very close to my heart haha.

Anyways thank you again for this little message, I don't remember the last time I had something in my inbox, kinda forgot how it worked!

Hope you are good as well Choom, take care!!

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thecagedsong · 2 years

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sorry for all the asks! But "Composition" caught my attention as a title. Does it involve Alan?

Oh my gosh, I forgot that one was sitting there myself. It was originally supposed to be about songs Katarina inspired Alan to write over the years, playing with bits of music Katarina remembered from her past life as the seed, but growing into being Sorerian with Alan's personal twist on it, ending with an Alan/Katarina pairing.

I didn't publish it because I only had one idea for a silly story of when they're kids and messing around in the music room while Luigi meets with the King and Geordo's stuck in a history lesson. It kinda falls apart because I've never been musically inclined. But re-reading it, it's actually an adorable, if unpolished, one shot filled with way too many head canons, but gets away with it because Katarina and Alan are like, 11, and both won't remember everything said here anyway and as a one-shot it's meant to be silly.

I think I convinced myself it was less completed than it was because the original idea was a series, so I haven't thought about it as more than a loose collection of dialog since June 2021 (when I absolutely should not have been working on fanfiction because I was one month away from my bar exam, lol, but that's when I last saved an edit in that draft).

Never apologize for sending an ask. I think I might post this one on AO3 tomorrow.

#ask thecagedsong #ask game #Composition #Alan x Katarina

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a-moth-to-the-light · 1 year

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i hope for a comfortable night at the end of your day (jan 07, 2022)

According to the Tumblr Year in Review thingie, I posted 236 times in 2022--and I didn't even make my account until March-ish! I should either celebrate or go touch grass. Joke's on you, though, because I pet plants all the time when I age-regress. Don't ask about the cactus experiences, please! /lh

OMGOMG LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT

My recent music obsession has been "La Loto" by Tini, Becky G, and Anitta! I can always trust Tini to come out with weirdly replayable songs, (ex: "Fantasi" and "22") and this is no exception. Becky G, especially, sounds great--her flow is a last-minute energy boost, full of unexpected vitriol, that makes me want to go back and see what she's been doing since "Shower" (which was THE middle school song btw). The beat squeaks under the pressure of their dominating presences, and I just feel so good about myself while listening to this one (and maybe, just maybe, pretending I could perform this track the way these three do).

Ily:1, my rookies of the year for 2022, just had a comeback! I did not know it was going to happen, but Spotify let me know the day of. Right now, "Secret Recipe" is taking up most of my attention--I don't mind their hyper-cutesy affectations here, because the chorus is just so precious. I'm sure I'll get around to listening to the title track, "Twinkle, Twinkle," again at some point, though!

I'm only two songs into the Moonbin & Sanha album (I KEEP TELLING Y'ALL I'M SLOW AND THIS IS WHAT I MEAN), but they're both fantastic, sleek and midnight-black in tone. The prechorus of "Madness" inexplicably reminds me of that one song, "Timber," that used to play at every middle school party, and, even more inexplicably, that makes "Madness" quite appealing to me. (Better than "Timber," anyway. That song could use a whole lot less Pitbull.)

Okay, I'll be done with talking about music for now--I'm mostly just catching up on 2021 songs right now, anyway! My brother got me to watch the recent Coffeezilla videos about Jake Paul, which were my introduction to the channel, so my recent YouTube life has mostly been a spiral into the depths of Coffeezilla's videography--I'm learning more than I ever wanted to know about manipulative sales tactics (the "Save the Kids" series, in particular, is fascinating)!

I'm also in the middle of Taejiu's "HIT is the best song you forgot about," only because I was reminded of "Miroh" by Stray Kids while watching and stopped to go listen to that and then couldn't stop listening to "Miroh" and then forgot to come back to finish the video. (Stray Kids does that to a guy!) As someone who has been trying to get into Seventeen for forever, this video is an exciting place to start--maybe I'll be able to check off the "get into astro and/or svt" bingo square only a few days into the new year!

Will I Do Anything Interesting Tomorrow?

I'm taking my youngest sibling out for ice cream--there's a place in our neighborhood that we used to visit all the time back when I lived at home, so I wanted to take them once before I leave the state again for college! Otherwise, I'll just be resting (hoping to get a nap in, since I missed out on naps for both Friday & today) from all the social events I've had in the past few days. I'm so happy to be able to see my friends from home after months of only texts and calls, but it's a lot of pressure for my already-not-great physical state :( I'll plan to spend most of the day curled up in bed, listening to audiobooks, to make up for all the energy expended!

Quote of the Day

Are you sure they're speaking German? Because I could have sworn I just heard them say "hamburger."

-- me

BUT UPDATE HAMBURGER IS ACTUALLY A WORD IN GERMAN

BUT ALSO THAT PERSON WAS JUST SPEAKING GIBBERISH IT WAS NOT ACTUALLY GERMAN

AND ALSO HAMBURGER IN GERMAN DOESN'T MEAN THE SAME THING AS HAMBURGER IN ENGLISH

IDK THAT'S IT

photo journal excerpts

First, we have a pink sky through my car window! Pink is my favorite color :) Second is my cat in his little nest of toys, and third is a snake ring my family bought for me!

#title is a quote from txt's sweet dreams on youtube!#six keeps on running #tini #ily:1 #astro #coffeezilla #taejiu

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tearsasmascara · 2 years

Text

I posted 1,406 times in 2022

That's 1,406 more posts than 2021!

398 posts created (28%)

1,008 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@xingqiusleftearring

@anotherteenageroninternet

@w4yf1nder

@ataraxyystories

@echo-at-the-pond

I tagged 889 of my posts in 2022

Only 37% of my posts had no tags

#[pages rustling] - 346 posts

#[bulletin board] - 190 posts

#[librarians rambles] - 97 posts

#[zee <;3] - 62 posts

#genshin impact x reader - 58 posts

#genshin impact - 51 posts

#[quinns favs <33] - 47 posts

#genshin x reader - 44 posts

#kazuha x reader - 29 posts

#[wren <;3] - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 88 characters

#also dw your works are hilarious i was in the process of rbing one when i saw this notif

My Top Posts in 2022:

slightly massive hallway crush—

genre: romantic fluff

relationships: heizou x shy!reader

synopsis: you have a small hallway crush on this attractive boy you see around the hallways, and you screw up the first opportunity you get to talk to him

cw: reader says a curse word

See the full post

135 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

for your mutual requests !!!!! could you do like those military homecomings but its kazuha coming back after the vision hunt decree ? thank you so much for tagging me and for the request <3

ZEE !! hey oh my GOSH i’m so sorry this took forever. i was burnt out for a long time after i wrote my last fic, considering it lowkey flopped 😭😭 (this isn’t self advertisement SHKSH) also UGH WORK- but yeah you said you really liked this idea so i tried making it nice. i hope there’s no mistakes omg. IM SO SORRY IF THERE IS. again sorry for how long it took :((. i really hope you like it !! i might expand on this idea later too hehe. anyway love you so much dear. take care of yourself <33 enjoy!!

the vision hunt decree. the disease that plagued inzuma, hidden under the guise of law and order. it overtook all of inazuma, taking peoples treasures away from them.

for you, it took away your love.

ever since the decree started, kazuha fled from inazuma, from you, from the home and space you both ever so carefully constructed with love. in the process only leaving a small note on your bedside drawer.

the note carried with it small star shaped tear stains and heavy deep folds that signified the opening and refolding of the note countless times. that’s all you had of him. as you read about your lover going on the run to save his life, something pulled at your heart, pride for your lover and what he was doing but a deep grief for all you both had lost. each other. and more.

for a year, you would sneak out of the city to catch a glimpse of your lover, a soft touch on the cheek, a glimmer in your eyes as they met. but nothing more. you forgot how it felt to hear his voice and to melt into it, or to feel his lips pressing into your skin in the softest degree of affection. and you never knew if the day would come where you would once again feel his touch.

everyday without him made the yawning hole in your heart so much deeper, as if each day that passed, the grief that followed burrowed itself into that hole.

but the day did come. the vision hunt decree was lifted. kazuha never explicitly told you he’d be coming home, but you knew. you knew your kazuha would come to you as soon as he could, bringing the smell of sweet maple leaves and home.

he was your home.

a note appeared the next day. your eyes darted over neat elegant lettering, a soft smile coming to your lips.

“i’ll be home tomorrow. 8 am.”

at 7:50 am, you stepped out of your house, your heart bursting with excitement.

at 7:55 am, anxiety filled you as the clock slowly ticked forward, inching closer to the moment you were eagerly awaiting.

at 8:00, you looked around, a smile coming unbidden to your face, your heart feeling like it was going to burst.

at 8:05, a slight uneasiness filled you, as you shifted from one foot to another, shifting your weight as if you could shift your sorrow around.

at 8:30, you blinked away the tears in your eyes, willing your the hole in your heart not to grow larger.

at 10:00 am, you turned around, taking the first step back to your home, the first step back to a definite future without kazuha. soft tears slipped down your cheeks, leaving thin streams of sorrow down your face.

at 10:02 am, two warm arms wrapped around your torso, an out of breath voice hovering above your ear.

“i am so so sorry my dove. i was trying to get home but the ship hit a really rocky patch of sea and it was so horrible you cannot imagine-”

See the full post

148 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

three am apologies—

genre ⤍ hurt/ comfort

relationships ⤍ heizou x gn!reader

warnings ⤍ neglect, crying, arguments

a/n ⤍ hi hi everyone!! okay first off the header T^T i couldn’t find a better one that fit. anyway this was a fic request from yuki (@seveninchesfrominsanity hii!!) that can be found here. its not completely what you asked so i’m so sorry but i still hope you like it. :((. anyway hope you enjoy!!

See the full post

360 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

BESTIE??? ILYSM pls do xiao and scaramouche cafe au plsplspls idek why CUTE CAFE BARISTA??? GETTING STUCK NEXT TO THEM IN RUSH HOUR COS ALL OTHER SEATS ARE TAKEN??? YES!!!

BESTIE??? ILYT

so okay half your ask confused me so here’s what i did, i made it two parts. scaramouche is getting stuck next to him in rush hour and xiao xiao is cute cafe barista. is that okay hekdjdj?? also i did hcs and small drabble so :D i hope you like yes yes also shout out to hori cause i has no idea what a barista was. i’m not too proud of this so pls pls tell me if you like it :(( take care!!

scaramouche; getting stuck next to him in rush hour

- will stare at you in like discontent if you sit next to him

- but he’ll deal with it

- kind of,,,

- LOWKEY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE LIKE

- “you couldn’t find any other seat?”

- LOUD. SIGHS.

- but you don’t give up talking to him cause you find him interesting

- he kind of is offhandish at first but gives in cause you say something interesting and he’s invested now

-ˋˏ———

a loud sigh interrupted the clacking of your keys, and your fingers stilled as you looked back up at the perpetrator.

“listen i don’t want to be stuck with you either okay?” you mumbled under your breath, half hoping he heard you.

he did.

“nobody asked you to sit here.” his words sliced through the thin air of tension between you two.

you merely scoffed, not willing to put up with his antics and were about to go back to your work when your name was called for your order.

giddy, you got up and retrieved your favorite item from the menu, carefully balancing it in your hands so you didn’t topple and spill it everywhere. it was too precious. you tried to ignore the curious glances your table mate sent you as you settled back into your seat, letting out a decisive hum when everything was set.

“is that,, is that what i think it is?” your eyes flicked to his, a wave of surprise hitting you as you saw the absence of malice in his eyes. before you could answer his question, he continued,

“yeah it is. huh.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, a frown slowly starting on your face.

See the full post

377 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hello quinn :)))

i saw your little ask game and i wanted to join in!! may i request a fic where scara accidentally admits that reader is pretty? and like he gets super flustered? :]

also i know you're doing this because you're worried about your moots' mental health, but make sure you take care of yourself when you're doing all these requests as well! i don't want you to feel pressured so take as long as you need :))

thank you! <3

short a/n;

evie!! hihi!! i’m so happy to see you requesting <33.

unfortunately, this was a prompt i couldn’t expand a ton upon because it’s super simple so i made a drabble kind of thing about it, i hope that’s totally okay!! i hope this makes you happy!! feel free to request sm else if this is too short :p but flustered scara!! shodhdjd he was fun to write i hope it’s in character :3 and thank you so much!! doing this for y’all means so much to me!! your request was simple and so fun to write shkshd THANK YOU!! have fun reading <3

a soft sigh left your chest as your boyfriends arms pulled you closer. gentle warmth blossomed inside you, manifesting in the form of a lazy smile as you looked up at your lover.

a hand came up to your cheek, tucking a short strand of hair behind your ear.

“you’re so pretty.”

you blinked vapidly, convinced your ears weren’t working correctly. then, you questioned if your eyes were working correctly when you saw a bright red blush bloomed on your lovers cheek, putting even the reddest rose to shame.

“huh?” a teasing lilt colored your voice and you drank in your boyfriends reaction, opening a small piece of your heart for it.

he stammered, words tripping each other and cutting each other off. his stream of words was abruptly cut off when he closed his mouth, slowly blinking. his eyes ran from you, looking at everything except for back into your eyes. you watched as his dark blue eyes flicked to the wall as of the beige coloring was now the most fascinating thing he’d ever laid eyes upon.

still not taking his eyes off the wall, he softly mumbled to you, the words slotting themselves into that part of your heart you had opened for this moment.

“i- i don’t take it back. you’re, uh. um. you’re really pretty. beautiful even.”

there’s so many words that could have come out of your mouth at that moment, that could have made the unbearably sweet moment even sweeter, tinging the air with the love that surrounded you two.

instead-

“i think this is the first time you’ve ever said um. or stammered. this is so funn-”

“GET OFF OF ME.”

See the full post

819 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #[pages rustling]#lwkey embarassing this is

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