#slow damage clean dishes
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good morning today i watched some of clean dishes translated (credit to denpa archivist on yt!) and i love them very much…
#i wish it wasn’t a mobile game bc i wanna play but i hate playing non pc visual novels ergg#and my japanese is like. ass#slow damage#slow damage clean dishes
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Slow Damage: Clean Dishes Epilogue 4, 5 & 6 Summary
It has been a while! I summarized the first three epilogues some time ago, but because I’ve been very busy I haven’t had much time lately to summarize the remaining three epilogues. Unlike the first ones, the other three are less dark and focus on the main characters spending time together and having fun. I thought it would be a good idea to write a few shorter summaries and combine them into one blog post.
Epilogue 4
It has been two years since the Hare’s Nest Incident. Shiro realizes it's Baku's birthday, but isn't sure how to celebrate it this year. Last year he bought him a birthday cake and they watched movies together, but this year he wants to do something more special. Baku however, doesn't care much about his own birthday and even forgets about it every year. This year is no different and Baku once again doesn't seem to care much, so Shiro decides to visit Roost. Shiro asks Kotarou, Mayu and Eiji birthday gift advice, but Mayu just mentions that he’s happy with merchandise of his favorite anime. Kotarou mentions liking alcohol and accessories, and Eiji, well… says that he’s fine with receiving anything he likes, so in the end Shiro’s still wondering what he should give to Baku...
He ends up taking him to Krishna (the restaurant you also visit in the main game) because they sell a lot of different kinds of beer, which Baku likes. After enjoying their food and drinks there together, they return home and Shiro gives Baku a book, featuring many illustrations by an artist Baku mentioned liking before. The game often hints that Baku is interested in art, but he usually looks at it online and doesn't usually buy things for himself. Shiro ends up telling him he asked Eiji and the others for advice, as he sometimes still doesn't know how to make people happy. In the past, he only used his body to make people happy, but now he's also trying to find other ways. As expected, Baku laughs and mentions how Shiro doesn’t really need to do anything special. Just being with Shiro is enough, but he’s happy that Shiro wanted to do something special for him.
Epilogue 5
Two years have passed since the Hare’s Nest Incident, and Shiro and Baku started living together. Before they started dating, Shiro hooked up with random men and didn’t return to his apartment often. Baku had been to his apartment once before, and said it looked more like a garbage storage room than a place where someone lived. After Shiro moved in with him, they slowly started learning more about each other’s hobbies. For example, Baku is interested in various art forms, such as special effect make-up and sculptures. Shiro likes collecting clothes and small, cute items. Shiro also likes singing, and Baku noticed he’s quite good at it too. While drinking coffee at a cafe one day, Baku suggests that Shiro could maybe even start his own band if he's interested. Shiro replies that he only wants to do it if Baku joins too, even though he has no experience playing an instrument. Shiro then suggests Ruu and Kimika also join his new band and invites them over. By the way, Kimika seems to have blonde hair again in this epilogue, but in the drama CD Ruu mentions he liked the blonde hair, so maybe he dyed it again? Anyway, seems like at least Kimika has some experience playing the guitar, but Ruu also has no experience. Shiro suggests they learn how to play an instrument and Ruu becomes the drummer and Baku the bassist. And that’s how their band activities started...
With the help of Kimika and Shiro, Baku and Ruu eventually learn some basic skills how to play these instruments. Eventually, they decide that they finally want to play some songs in front of an audience, but Shiro realizes he doesn’t really have any other friends he could invite… Luckily, Kimika suggests contacting the Roost manager, and maybe they could play some songs in front of the customers there.
Some weeks later, it's the day of the concert. They all bought some new outfits and Kimika also offers to do everyone's makeup. The concert ends up becoming quite the success and more than 30 people showed up. Eiji, Kotarou and Mayu are also impressed and share their positive feedback with the group.
I have to admit... that this is absolutely not what I expected to happen after the game’s ending, but it's quite interesting to learn more about their hobbies (?). They do mention that the concert is a one-time only kind of thing, but everyone did enjoy the experience, so who knows!
Epilogue 6
It has been six months since Kimika was released from prison, and all four of them continued woking at Sara-ya. With the death of the Takasato-gumi boss and many other incidents, Shinkoumi was in a state of chaos for a while, but things are slowly calming down. During one of their lunch breaks, the four of them started discussing the topic of vacation. It seems like Shiro and Baku usually stay indoors during summer, but Kimika and Ruu really want to travel to the mainland to visit the beach there. Baku and Shiro agree to join, even though Shiro has never been to the mainland before and Baku hasn’t been back there since he was a kid.
A month later, they finally prepare for their trip. Baku is a bit worried about Shiro because he has never left Shinkoumi before. After a one hour flight and a bus ride, they finally arrive at the inn where they will be staying for the next four days. They decide to drop off their luggage and then meet up with Ruu and Kimika near the beach. Shiro feels a little bit dizzy because of the heat, but he ends up having a great time playing in the water together with the others. They spend the next couple of days visiting shrines, climbing a mountain and all kinds of other activities they had never done before. This epilogue is probably the most light-hearted one of them all...! But it is nice seeing them have fun together.
At the end of their trip, Shiro starts teasing Ruu and Kimika again, wanting to know what kind of relationship they have now. Ruu claims there’s nothing going on and Kimika doesn't reply (those who listened to the drama CD know that’s a lie…). He then changes the topic and says he heard Baku and Shiro doing inappropriate things in the open-air bath. Both of them just nod "ah you found out..." and then the bus arrives to take them back to the airport. After that they return to Shinkoumi and the game mentions that this is the end of Clean Dishes's story for now. Shiro thinks that until Baku finally kills him, their life won't change much in the future.
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And that's the end! Not much to say about some of these because they are pretty short, but I am always happy to see Kimika and Ruu in these epilogues too. Of course there's also the drama CD content, which kind of takes place in-between some of these epilogues. Right now I don't have any plans of summarizing/translating it, but maybe someone will do this in the future. By the way, all three of these epilogues have a new r18 scene, so I suggest buying them if you want to see them! I'm not able to upload these anywhere.
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Shiro Clean Dishes Stimboard
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Slow Damage has unlocked feelings that I’ve never experienced for any fictional men before and boy that’s saying something...
#slow damage#slow damage clean dishes#I'm talking about Towa and Baku specifically#like I'm so jealous of Shiro#that should have been me and not him :(#and feel so sorry for any poor soul who gets Towa#te quiero bebé pero también quiero alinearte los chakras de un putazo cada que tomas pastillas con trago >:(
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Has anyone played all of the slow damage clean dishes epilogues??? If so, how were they and are there CGS?,,?,??,,??
#slow damage#nitro chiral#sd#slow damage clean dishes#saraya#i just wanna see baku and shiro fr fr 😭
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I think i'll love making these
#nitro+chiral#nitroplus#slow damage#clean dishes#madarame kei#izumi rei#towa slow damage#baku clean dishes#shiro clean dishes#mayu slow damage#kotarou slow damage#slow damage meme
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pretty sure all my volumes of DOGS burned up and it's the only manga series i owned that i really miss .. i finally ordered volume zero like i've been telling myself i would for years :)
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Slow Damage: Clean dishes | SideA① - Capítulo 1 (Español)
De repente, la habitación se incendió y corrimos afuera.
Afortunadamente no se produjo ninguna otra explosión después, pero los alrededores del condominio se llenaron de humo y olor a quemado, causando un gran revuelo.
Ninguno de nosotros resultó herido y estuvimos observando todo desde fuera del condominio hasta que se extinguió el fuego.
Eiji: “¿Oh? ¿Baku-san y Shiro-san?”
De repente me llamaron y me di la vuelta. Fue Eiji quien apareció abriéndose paso entre la multitud ruidosa.
Eiji: “Vine porque oí que había un incendio cerca…”
Eiji: “¿Baku-san y Shiro-san también estaban por aquí?”
Baku: “Más bien, en el lugar. La habitación que limpiamos se quemó”
Eiji: “Oh, ¿¡de verdad!? ¿Estás bien? ¿No estás herido?”
Baku: “No estoy herido, pero…”
Me detuve allí y miré a Shiro que estaba parado a mi lado.
Shiro está mirando hacia abajo de manera vaga, como si no se le hubiera pasado el shock.
Eiji: “Shiro-san, ¿estás bien? Debe haberse sorprendido”
Baku: “Probablemente”
Eiji: “Entonces, no es momento para que estés hablando conmigo en este lugar, ¿no? Lo siento. Shiro-san, cuídate”
Dicho esto, Eiji inclinó la cabeza y volvió a adentrarse entre la multitud de curiosos.
Después de eso, Kimika y Ruu decidieron volver a la oficina por el momento. Nosotros no pasamos por la oficina, sino que volvimos a casa directamente.
Shiro permaneció sentado en el sofá, mirando a alguna parte en el vacío.
¿Fue tan impactante que la habitación se quemara?
Cuando me senté a su lado y le acaricié la cabeza para tranquilizarlo, me miró como si se hubiera calmado un poco.
Baku: “Estás bien”
Shiro: “Sí”
La luz ha vuelto a los ojos de Shiro. Y si bien pensé que era bueno, había algo que me seguía molestando.
Miré a Shiro y abrí la boca con cuidado.
Baku: “…Antes de que ocurriera el incendio, estabas mirando la figura de conejo en esa habitación, ¿no?”
Shiro reacciona levemente.
Baku: “Había una nota, ¿no? ¿Qué tenía escrito?”
Shiro: “……”
≫ Capítulo anterior ≪
≫ Capitulo siguiente≪
≫ Lista de capítulos ≪
#slow damage#スロウ・ダメージ#surodame#スロダメ#clean dishes#nitro+chiral#nitro chiral#n+c#yaoi#bl game#boys love game
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I'm posting this from my tablet, and I'm struggling with formatting. Also, this is my first ever fic. Please be gentle, though polite constructive criticism is welcome.
Firefighter Next Door
You cut your hand and bang on your neighbours door in a panic.
Trigger warnings: Blood, injury, anxiety attack.
You bang on your neighbours door frantically, praying he was home. His car was there but you weren't sure when he'd gotten home. You hoped you weren't waking him up just as he'd come home from a shift.
The door opens after a minute and a sleepy looking man stood there with a questioning look on his face.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry! I've woken you up!" You babble in a panic. "I-I should have just taken the bus or cab to urgent care!" You keep talking in your panicked state, not looking up at the man in front of you, but down at your heavily bleeding hand. Just as you're getting to your third round of apologies he speaks over you.
"Hey, hey, it's okay! What can I do for you?" He asks before following your gaze down to your hand. Upon seeing it he reaches down and gently takes your wrist in his hand, bringing it up to inspect it. He quickly invites you in, guiding you to his kitchen table and sitting you down. By this point you're pale and starting to have trouble taking a breath, tears welling in your eyes.
He notices but decides to run and get the first aid kit from the bathroom before calming you down. It takes him less than a minute to return, he places the kit on the table and crouches in front of you.
"Alright" he says as he takes your injured hand in his own after putting on some gloves. "I need you to take a breath. You're having an anxiety attack." He speaks calmly in a soft voice so as not to overwhelm you. "You're okay, breathe with me." He takes a deliberate slow breath, looking you in the eyes as he does. He takes a couple more before you're able to copy him. After you've taken a couple he counts to four, then tells you to hold for a count of four before telling you to breathe out again.
He does this a few more times, and it isn't until you've calmed your breathing that you realise that he's also been cleaning up your hand the whole time. The bleeding seems to have slowed and he was currently inspecting the cut to make sure there was nothing in there.
"How'd this happen?" He was still speaking in that calming voice while he reached with his other hand to grab a dressing and bandage from the kit.
"I was doing the dishes and I dropped a knife…. Then caught it, by the blade.." you looked down at the floor, feeling stupid now that the panic had worn off. "I'm so sorry I banged on your door like that.. I should have just dealt with it myself, I just saw the blood and panicked. I don't drive so I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry I woke you up for this."
Your speech was getting faster as you went, almost talking yourself into another panic attack.
"Hey, it's okay, I promise. I'm glad you came here rather than pass out on public transport. I'm Eddie, can I get your name?"
You looked up at his face again and saw that he was smiling as he finished wrapping up your hand and securing it.
"Y/n" you mumbled.
"Alright y/n, it's nice to meet you. It doesn't look like you've done too much damage, it should heal up on its own, no stitches, but if you're worried you should head to urgent care to get it looked at. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, juice, water?" He removed his gloves and started to clear up the gauze and wrappings scattered around the table.
"Just water, please." You spoke quietly, still a little embarrassed. He nodded, tossing the wrappers and gauze in the bin before filling a glass and setting it in front of you.
"Are you okay? Not hurt anywhere else?" You shake your head to let him know you're not hurt anywhere else. He found himself assessing you out of reflex. He sits on the chair beside yours and reaches to your wrist to check your pulse while he watches you breathe. Once he's satisfied that you're no longer panicking, he lets go of your wrist and smiles at you reassuringly.
"Honestly, it really is okay that you knocked on my door. You're welcome to come to me for help anytime. I've not seen you around before, did you just move here?"
You nodded again and took a sip of water before speaking. "Yeah, I moved in last week. I've seen you a few times, firefighter, right?"
He smiles and nods. "Yeah firehouse 118, before that I was a medic in the army, so this really was the perfect door to bang on. How's the hand feeling? I can grab you some Tylenol if it's hurting too much."
You shake your head. "It actually doesn't hurt too much right now, just stings a little."
He nods again. "Yeah, I bet. Look, you're welcome to bang on my door anytime you need help, or even if you just want some company, but… I just came off a 24 hour shift, and if you're okay, I really need some sleep." He says apologetically.
You nod and jump up. "Of course! I'm sorry again for waking you, thank you so much for your help!"
"Don't mention it." He smiles as he walks you to the door. "I can come by later, if you like, to check on you, and maybe lend you an extra hand if you need it? You shouldn't do much with that hand for the next couple of days, you don't want to reopen the cut."
"I'd like that, thank you, Eddie, sweet dreams." You smile and walk off to your own house as he waves and shuts the door. You could get used to having a firefighter as a neighbour.
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i care them so much… i’m going through baku and shiro brainrot (i haven’t even played the entire game and only know about them through translations)
#size difference is just gonna do it for me everytime i’m afraid#i wanna know more abt them…especially shiro he’s so cute…#slow damage#slow damage clean dishes
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Slow Damage: Clean Dishes Epilogue 2 Summary
It has been a while, but the Clean Dishes drama CD was finally released earlier this month! I really liked it, so I decided to play some more of the epilogues. This one focuses on the relationship between Ruu and Kimika. Be aware that it does spoil the game's good ending.
This story takes place after the Hare’s Nest incident in which Kimika kidnapped Shiro and tried to use a bomb to kill both of them, believing that death was the only answer. Baku saved Shiro and Kimika was arrested. Shortly after this arrest, Ruu had trouble believing that the culprit was Kimika, but somewhere deep in his heart he knew it was really him. Even though Kimika usually smiled brightly, a tremendous darkness was hidden behind that smile.
"I wish I had realized sooner..."
The epilogue then skips to a flashback. Back then, Ruu worked for a car repair shop. While working there, he often came into contact with a man he absolutely despised, who would purposely torment the weak for his own entertainment. Because of his connections, he was never punished for his actions. One day when he witnessed one of his coworkers being harassed in the bathrooms, Ruu couldn’t handle it anymore and punched this man in the face. The man was not seriously injured, but as a result of this Ruu lost his job. He didn't regret punching the man, but he couldn't accept that he got fired for defending his coworker.
"At that time, I came across a recruitment ad online, from Sara-ya.”
At first, Ruu was a bit confused what exactly they meant with 'cleaning a room a person died in'. The location of the company was also not ideal, Shinkoumi is a place notorious for being unsafe. Of course, he could have picked a different job, but for some reason he decided to send an email to them. The work at Sara-ya was exactly what he expected, and it took some time getting used to it. However, in terms of human relationships, everyone was friendly and comfortable with each other.
"After a long time, when I was no longer called a rookie, I decided to team up with Kimika."
"I don't mean this in a strange way, but as a work partner and a human being, I liked Kimika."
Kimika was a cheerful, fun-loving person, who also had a serious side when they were working together. They would often meet up before and after work too, to talk and to eat together. Kimika used to be a hairdresser before he joined Sara-ya and mentioned that he enjoyed making people beautiful, almost as if a person is 'reborn' after getting a new haircut. Kimika mentioned that he wished he could be reborn too, but back then Ruu did not really understand the meaning of these words. Looking back at it now, Ruu realizes that there were so many hints that something was not right...
Some time after this, Kimika called him in the middle of the night. At first, Ruu thought someone called the wrong number, but after listening closely he realized it was Kimika's voice, wishing for his own death. After this, Ruu learned that Kimika was taken to the hospital after overdosing on sleeping pills. Ruu realizes that Kimika probably called him as a final cry for help.
The story then switches to Kimika's perspective. A bright and cheerful person, that is how people would describe him, which was not wrong, because that is what he pretended to be. Of course, it was not all lies, Kimika truly wished he could be happy. He grew up with three older sisters who were all very beautiful and talented. Compared to them, Kimika was a very ordinary person. Because his sisters were always praised, they were never punished when they used Kimika as a slave or toy, even sexually assaulting him sometimes. Back then Kimika didn't know it was bad, he was just happy that they would spend any time with him.
When he was 11 years old, his oldest sister vanished. A month later, her body was found in the mountains. A suicide note was found near her body, apologizing for not being able to meet her parents' expectations. One year later, his second sister passed away after repeatedly overdosing on sleeping pills. Kimika's family stopped talking to each other, unable to deal with the situation. Shortly after this, the third sister also disappeared. The police eventually found her alive, however, she seemed like a completely different person after joining a religious group. She didn't talk to her parents and brother anymore and locked herself up in her room every day. One day, she texted Kimika to come to her room.
"When I entered the room, my sister was standing on a chair with a belt around her neck, tied to the curtain rod."
She smiled and asked Kimika to remove the chair, explaining that she wanted to die so she could be reborn. Kimika, unable to deny her wish, did what his sister wanted. Kimika started wondering what would happen after death and if they would really be reborn. His sisters were very talented and had no other reason to die, so he assumed it must be true.
"Just like the other two, I wonder if death isn't something they fear, but something they yearn for. If possible, I want to be reborn too."
After graduating high school, he studied to become a hairdresser and eventually moved to Shinkoumi, mostly because he wanted to get away from his parents' house. Shinkoumi was a place where nobody would come after him. Even though he tried to distance himself from his past, he always felt like he couldn't truly be happy. Being alone made him very uncomfortable, so he would often stay with (sex) friends or even strangers. One day one of his friends half-jokingly sent him the Sara-ya recruitment ad, but Kimika, still obsessed with the concept of people taking their own lives, became interested in the job. This is where he met Ruu, and later Shiro and Baku. He was a bit excited to meet someone like Shiro who also wanted to die. Kimika also wanted to openly talk about death like Shiro did, so he decided to create a social media account. Before he knew it, he made many friends online who all shared the same mindset as him, agreeing death is the only way to escape from suffering. This is when Hare's Nest was created.
Members of Hare’s Nest focused on overcoming their fear of death and would usually report their daily accomplishments. Kimika tried to do the same and was proud of his group members. Eventually, the first individuals in the group started taking their own lives. Until then, Hare's Nest was mostly a private group, but after the first two suicides it started attracting attention online. After that, the number of deaths gradually increased and the criticism from outside groups grew. At that time, Kimika thought death was the only way to end suffering and didn’t understand what he was doing wrong. He also realized that Shiro joined the group and was surprised when he openly shared these details with him. Kimika decided that it must be fate, finally he would be able to die together with someone.
After that it switches back to Ruu's perspective. Shortly after the Hare's Nest incident, Kimika was sentenced to two years in prison. The sentence was shorter than expected because there was no evidence of intimidation or a detailed planning of the attack. Another reason for this was probably because Kimika's lawyer worked for the Takasato-gumi. It was Eiji who introduced them to each other. Ruu frequently visited Kimika in prison, but during the first visits Kimika did not look him in the eye and barely spoke to him. He didn't understand why Ruu kept visiting him, after all he was a criminal who encouraged people to take their lives and who almost killed one of their friends. He also didn’t understand why Ruu still cared about him, they were only work partners after all. To Ruu however, Kimika was never just a work partner, but someone he genuinely considered a friend. Ruu regrets not noticing Kimika's loneliness and still wants to be with Kimika after he gets released from prison. Kimika still has a hard time trusting others because of his childhood, but somewhere deep in his heart he wants to trust him. Ruu hopes that some day, him and Kimika will be able to laugh together again, just like they used to.
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Some extra notes
The name of the group is simply called Hare’s Nest because Kimika has a pet rabbit.
His username online is Himalaya, referring to the Himalayan rabbit, said to be the oldest rabbit breed. His own rabbit is also a Himalayan rabbit.
Members of Hare’s Nest calls themselves ‘leveret’, a term used to describe a young hare. If you’ve read the Clean Dishes manga you probably also know it’s the name of the manga…!
The drama CD is a continuation of this, so definitely listen to that if you can! Especially if you like Ruu and Kimima as a pairing. ;)
#clean dishes#saradame#slow damage#slow damage clean dishes#nitro chiral#nitro+chiral#n+c#summary#blvn#visualnovels
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Hello hello!
Ok, I have a thought, hear me out!
Silly is the New sexy was amazing and we could need a Part 2~
Like, luffy can't help but think about your body and wants to do it again but she turns him down because you know people are literally being everywhere.
So! New Island, she stayed behind because of the short staw she draw, letting everyone go. She was totally fine and made stuff around the sunny. Imagine, she being in the kitchen as Lu burst in with a happy grin and be like >were alone! We can Do it again!< she just laughs and >give me a few after I wash the dishes<.
Lu pouts but sit down between her legs and be like prompt 8!
👀👀👀
ok im not gonna write the preamble bc u already did lmao let's skip straight to the smut, shall we?
DIRTY DISHES: LUFFY x Y/N
part 1
(cw: silly = sexy, est relationship, misuse of devil fruit, nipple play, face sitting, also this is my kitsune oc so kill the part of you that cringes, blowjob)
(a/n: i'll never stop playing dress up)
Songs: "Hard Feelings/Loveless" by Lorde, "The Bomb" by Florence + the Machine, "Morning Elvis" by Florence + the Machine
words: 1.5k
Luffy sits between your legs, head bumping back against the counter. His legs are splayed out in front of him, rolling back and forth like a little kid's. "Come onnnn," he whines, tugging at the cuffs of your denim shorts. He drags his fingertips up and down your fishnets, ribbing them in a satisfying, slow rumble.
You reach over him to finish scrubbing the dirty dish in your hands. Pizza sauce is crusted on from last night's dinner (sometimes even Sanji sets dirty plates to soak in the sink overnight).
"Okay, okay," you say, swiftly drying the plate with a soft towel. You set it in the dishrack, sparkling and clean, before turning back to your boyfriend. He's grinning up at you like a fucking capuchin.
"Hey."
You snort, rolling your eyes before crouching down to his eye level. He reaches forward to grab a strand of your hair, rubbing the damaged, bleached ends between his finger and thumb. It scratches against his skin. "Wanna play?"
"Obviously, Luffy. Now take your clothes off." You pull your own sweater off over your head--a baby blue cropped thing that you paired over a black bralette. You're wearing dark denim shorts with silver buttons down the side. Luffy tugs at the laces of your black boots. Steel-toed, a gift from Robin last time you docked portside.
Luffy giggles, and pulls his red t-shirt off over his shoulders. He slides down so he's lying on his back, stretching his rubber arms out to grab your hips. He slams you down onto his own face, cunt first.
"Fuck--!" You squeal, squirming in his arms so as not to crush his sweet little face. He's grinning at you like the devil.
"Sit," he commands, and you do. He bites at the denim of your shorts, not even bothering to take them off before he's running his thick hands all over you. You shrug off your bralette, letting your tits hang down, soft and bouncy above your ribcage. Luffy eagerly reaches up to grab them. He rolls his thumbs around your nipples in wide, slow circles. "So fuckin' pretty f'me," he murmurs, before stretching his neck up to suck on them. It's kinda alien, seeing his neck stretched out like a rubber band, but his tongue is magic so you don't fucking mind. You tilt your head back in pleasure, softly moaning.
"So good," you praise him, running your fingers over his hair. It's soft, and you pet him for a bit as he sucks on your sensitive nipples. You ride his abdomen, sitting on his stomach while he plays with you.
Your tails flick in pleasure.
"S'pretty, kitty," he says again, bucking his hips up behind you. He pops off your tits with a smack. His hands reach up to scritch at the base of your foxy ears. You hum, eyes closed in comfort.
"So are you," you say, reaching down to unbutton your shorts. You stand up, over him, to slide them down your legs. You leave the fishnets on. You're straddling him, looking down at your sweet captain with your legs on either side of his waist. Your boots stay on, too. The rose-gold bellybutton piercing sparkles at your abdomen: something you and Nami did on a whim last island, too.
"Spread your legs f'me," he says, staring up at your fishnet heat, so you lift a leg to place your boot on the counter. He's staring open mouthed at your cunt, left bare and dripping without any panties.
He licks his lips.
Suddenly, he's grabbing you by the waist again and slamming you down hard onto his waiting face. He slurps at your sensitivity, swiftly turning his hair white as he activates Gear 5. His tongue expands, shoving inside your slippery cunt as his eyes swirl rosy. Somewhere, a train whistle sounds in an honest to god awooga.
Shit.
"Luffy!!" You complain, as he rips your tights to give himself more room. Steam is pouring out of his ears, his eyes rolled back and crossed as he sloppily licks at your cunt. You're already dripping.
It's so cartoony, with him.
The sea laps at the side of the sunny, sparkling and sapphire in the afternoon sun. Seagulls call overhead. You watch them circle in the pastel sky through the window over the sink. Sparks soar into view as Luffy warps the energy of reality around him. You feel it pulling into you like gravity, bringing you ever and always closer to your captain.
He sucks on your clit.
You scream, surprised at the sudden suction. He slaps your ass cheek, the sound reverberating with several boi-oings throughout the empty room. You groan, sending your head back to just enjoy the sensations. You roll your hips over his tongue, sending shivers down your spine. He grips your hips, bringing you down harder.
"Sit!"
You squeal, letting your full weight sink down onto your captain's face. Supporting yourself on the sink, your hands grip around the cool porcelain as Luffy sends stars into your eyes. Sparkles alight overhead as his own pleasure creeps up. He's bucking his hips up behind you, and you turn to stretch yourself enough to reach his hard cock through his jeans. He lets you lean over, supporting your hips in his searing grasp. Your tails frizz out, shivering and shaking as he sends you over the edge.
Stars.
You gasp, coming to with sore thighs and an aching belly.
"Sweet girl," Luffy croons, letting you slide off him to the side. You collapse onto the tile, letting the coolness seep into your heated skin.
He sits up, wiping off your slick from his soaking chin.
"My turn?"
You smile, nodding eagerly as Luffy rips off his shorts. You settle onto your own back this time, letting him straddle your head. His sticky cockhead is shimmering with precum, and you reach out for an experimental lick. He shivers, letting out a hiss through his teeth.
"That's it," he says, rocking his hips forward. The tip hits your lips, and you let him in. You start sucking hard on his head, and he lets out a strangled moan. You run sweet, kitten licks up and down his aching shaft. The veins are bulging and sensitive, and every slide or dart of your tongue elicits sharp inhales and gasps from your lover above you. He shallowly thrusts his cock deeper into your mouth.
Stretching, you take him down your throat.
Luffy groans, softening your skin with ripples of elastic energy. His hair is fluffy and white, with matching clouds floating above his head. Your tails are squished behind you, but they flutter in soft, shivering arcs. He reaches down to grab one, wrapping it around his wrist.
He tugs.
"Ouch!" You yelp, trying to pull your seventh tail out of his grasp. He giggles, and doesn't let go. Instead, he pulls harder. An airhorn sounds. "Luffy!!!" You complain, face heating up. His cock muffles your words, but you glare up at him anyway.
"Shishi, sorry," he giggles, slowing his pace slightly. You relax, slowly sucking on his shaft as his thrusts grow erratic and sloppy.
His balls smack harsh against your chin.
Sizzles and pops sound overhead, and you open your eyes to watch star shapes dance around Luffy's face. His cheeks are flushed, and his head is tilted back. His adams apple bobs with his raspy pants.
The stars float down over both of you, sparkling and bursting in silvery rainbow shimmers. Luffy speeds up, his hips now a blur as you do your best to take it. A star slips down to bounce off your cheek and onto the floor. It sizzles out of existence.
A slight halo glows around your lover's face.
You wrap your hands around his thighs, and suck harder. He gasps, and spills his seed into your mouth. It spurts out from the corners of your lips, filling your senses with musky bitterness.
"Shit, shit shit," he groans, arching his back as he shudders and gasps. You moan, vibrations sending through his pulsing cock.
"Sweetheart," he moans, pulling out of your mouth. He sits back on his heels, giving you room to sit up. You rub at your sore jaw, before wiping his spend off the sides of your face. It smears into the soft hairs on your forearm, sticky and sweet. He grins, and reaches forward to pull you up into a kiss. He tastes like sugar.
"Sweet," you tease him, pulling on a lock of his downy hair. He snickers, swatting your hand away. "Snackies?"
He laughs outright, slapping his belly. He giggles, hiding his face in one hand. "Shishishi, hahahahaa!" He slips backward, bouncing on the now-rubbery floor. It buoys him, snickering and rolling on the elastic tile. It rocks you, too, as you stand on shaky legs.
"Luffy," you grin, tripping over your own feet onto his smiling frame. He catches you with an oof! as two arms come to snake around you. He brings you down to nuzzle against his face, skin soft and sweaty. He breathes into your hair, inhaling deeply. His fingers scritch at your scalp, and you peak up to see his hair swirling black.
The floor steadies beneath you.
"Snackies," he agrees, before he stands up with his arms still wrapped around you.
****
#dumpster dive#my writing#one piece fanfic#luffy fanfic#luffy x reader#luffy x y/n#luffy smut#luffy x you#luffy x oc#vasya#fox tales#one piece smut
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SD Clean Dishes Drama CD?!
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Weak Spot - Chapter 50
RotTMNT Donatello x Reader
Do not be afraid! You're alright unlike Don in this week's chapter art by @garbagemilkshake
Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Bondage, Feral Behavior, Feral Donatello, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Public Sex, Dom Donnie, Human/Turtle Relationships, Turtle Noises, Roleplay, Sexual Roleplay
Synopsis: A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?
Also available on Ao3
First 💜 Previous
Waking had been more of a nightmare than you initially imagined. From the crust of dried fluids to the film in your mouth, extracting yourself from bed was a process of scraping the rust off old machinery. The parts needed a firm scrub with a wire brush and until you could garner that facsimile, you were grinding ancient gears. It was a stumbling affair to the bathroom, where you locked yourself in unintentionally.
Priorities askew, you randomly selected what seemed pressing from the pile and brushed your teeth. Going long over to devastate slept in plaque, you then ambled to the shower to sit under a hot stream. Head to the wall as you had seen in some movies, reenactment was the furthest of your thoughts. Your life was a satisfying one with nothing to mourn and your head was mostly empty until you got a hold of a loofa. Clearing the debris brought clarity and by the time you remembered to wash your hair, you could form thoughts for the day.
Thankful it was officially the weekend, there was late breakfast to attend to and then presumably cleaning. There had been a mishap with the souffles which had dried into the floor even if you had eaten the leftovers in a stupor. Shaking off having eaten a long cold egg dessert, your stomach hadn’t seemed to notice and you finished up. Donned in more than one fluffy towel for the sake of leisure, you came out in what you imagined was a puff of steamy smoke to find your partner still asleep.
Dropping the charade, you crept quietly and got dressed in something comfortable before going to inspect the damage. The desserts had splattered a lengthy stripe that reminded you of the sauce Donnie had once smeared on fancy dinner plates. Giving a moment of silence to fallen comrades, you wondered about the dishes until you turned to find an enormous leaking bundle in the kitchen. Remembering how Donnie had flung the candlelit dinner contents, you glowered at the package.
Without a way to move it without waking your partner, you awkwardly worked around it to grab yourself some breakfast. Emergency rations from the freezer, you gnawed on something meant for busy ease and thought over how to clean. The food smears would need minor soaking and the mess of broken dishes was best stuffed out the window if only there were a dumpster underneath.
Not so lucky on the latter’s front, you sprayed the smears of lost souffle before addressing the bundle. Sat in its sad puddle, you picked lightly at the knot Donnie had made. One of a twist like a balloon, you wiggled it a bit until it started to unravel. Thankful for cotton’s resistance to stay tied, you were slow to release the binds. With only the light clicking of broken dishware, you waited and listened to see if that was enough to wake your partner.
Finding little sound and imagining he’d groan upon waking, you were methodical in gathering up the shards. Nothing had survived the onslaught, so you doubled up on bags to trash the pieces. You then disposed of the entire bundle since it had already done your sweeping for you before returning to now softened souffle residue. Wiping it and the kitchen puddle up, you dusted your hands of the matter and went to rest.
Just as you had found a comfortable position on the couch, you heard an annoyed grunt from across the apartment. Rolling your eyes, you decided to let him have a similar morning to you. As you scrolled, Donnie made a variety of exhausted noises as the land of the conscious was thrust upon him. Repulsion came with a near gag at the state of his body and his footsteps were hurried as he disappeared into the bathroom with a similar locked latch as your own.
His shower started sooner than yours and you almost wondered if he’d brush his teeth amongst the stream. Not something you particularly cared to find out, you ended up closing your eyes and getting close to a doze by the time he emerged. Humidity changing and a clean scent announcing his reentry into the bedroom, you languished in his soap’s smell until he padded into view.
On a mission in the kitchen, he downed an entire pitcher of water before his nose tested the air. Presumably picking up on all the cleaning you’d done, he turned an exhausted, but thankful look on you. Enough to get you on your feet, you moved to greet him properly. He opened himself up as an indication that he would receive you and you buried into the faint dampness that clung to his scales.
Nuzzling into his plastron, a vibration echoed above your head and you blinked wide at the feeling.
Donnie gave a single sharp inhale.
It did nothing to stop the roiling hot tub noise.
The jets continued to rumble.
Feeling your partner’s muscles tense, he tried giving a snort to stop the onslaught. One not the trick, he gave several in quick succession that amounted to only a few hiccups amongst an ongoing churr.
You looked up at him curiously and, in doing so, the noise amplified.
In a swift move, he caught your shoulders and pushed until you were at an arm’s length.
The sound stopped.
Watching him, he studied you with a furrowed brow until he began to reel you back in.
As soon as you got into what you considered his personal space, the churr started right back up.
A tittering excitement ran through you and he shoved you back to the safe distance.
“No, no, no…” His pupils wobbled at the forefront of a spiral.
“It’s cute.” You reached up and cuffed the wrist holding you at bay.
As if tapping into the source, you felt the vibration of his churrs increase through the connection.
You giggled.
The completely wrong sound, he vanished.
“Donnie!” You called out after him and slowly tracked his disappearance.
You found him at the foot of the bed, standing with a pin pricked gaze that swam in sclera whites.
“It's okay…” You ushered, trying to break through his bothered exterior.
“I’ve lost control.” He spoke with a weighty horror.
“Slow down, it’s only been a few minutes.” You held back from getting close as you approached. “Are you up to talking about it?”
A fearful flick from him came with an unsteady in and out of breath. “What to say…?”
“Maybe… explain what a churr is exactly? I’m not sure…”
It took a moment for the information to penetrate, but when it did, he moved to look at you. “It’s a…” He shook his head to clear his thoughts. “A contented… sound as I label it.”
You tried not to let your surprise show.
You didn’t want him to read it wrong.
It wasn't the meaning.
You could surmise as much.
It was the connotation.
Your mind was unusually faster to connect the dots.
If he knew what the sound was then he’d felt it before.
It went against what you knew of his past and you weren't sure what to make of that.
“There’s a worrying amount of extrapolation. Depends on the species. Depends on the sound. Some are too low a frequency to be heard by humans. Some deny its existence. Others tout fiction.” He grit his teeth and rounded the bed for a little more distance.
Now worried you’d jumped to conclusions, you went to clear up confusion. “Have you made it before or is this from research?”
The question wounded him and he had to sit down.
You ached as you waited at the foot of the bed.
“Yes to both…”
“Donnie, I don’t want to judge, but this reaction seems…” You headed toward the window and tried not to see how he’d react. “… a little dramatic?”
“Repercussions!” A snarl escaped him before he slapped a hand over his mouth.
You twisted a hand into the curtain where you’d caught it out of nerves. “Um…”
“This!” With another snap of his teeth, he leapt backwards out of the bed and crossed the room. “Control! These emotions are connected! A precarious balancing act has been disrupted! A leak of contaminants!”
Leaning into the sheers, you pulled the fabric close as you thought. “How you were still holding back.”
“Yes.” He spat.
“What do we do?”
“I don’t know.” He clicked angrily before giving a bitter sigh.
Quiet, you pinched some gauze. “What did you do before?”
“When?” He inspected a dresser.
“The last time you churred.” You felt guilty having been envious of an imagined age old Donnie finding minor comfort in a blanket or something of the sort.
“A few days ago?” He retorted with a daggered edge.
You were taken aback.
His features scrunched up with his own bafflement.
You stood in a confused stand off before you both went to dispel it.
“What are you talking about?”
“Y/N please, it’s been happening for months.”
“Months?!”
“You’ve noticed!” He refused to take a step, but addressed you with the whole of his irritation.
“Noticed what!? You purring like a cat?! I think I’d remember something like that!”
“You didn’t-a cat?!” He hissed against his point. “You’ve said many an inane thing, but that-!”
“It literally shares the same word ending!”
“Turtles don’t have vocal cords! It’s a completely different sound!”
“I don’t know! You talk!”
“I’m a mutant!!!” He roared, throwing his hands up. “I can’t…” He shriveled around his rage. “I can’t do this…” Dropping with abject terror, he bolted for the partition between the bedroom and living.
“Donnie, wait-!” You made it a few steps before the wrap of the curtain held you back. “Damnit!”
A green hand appeared and helped uncoil you.
“Donnie!” You turned on him, but he stumbled away before falling over.
“Stop!” He held his hands up as if you were attacking him.
“It’s okay…” You dropped down to your knees and methodically placed your hand to the ground in a non-threatening way. “It’s okay. I'm not chasing. I'm not going to do anything. I just…”
His eyes flew around your figure and he had one fist raised nervously to his chest.
“You can go. If that’s what you need to do, that’s fine.”
“But…?!” He flared at your silence.
“That’s it.”
“That can’t be it! This is the part where… where…” His mind stumbled over his thoughts and he was left swinging his gaze back and forth as if reading the broken repeating letter on a typewriter.
“I’m not going to pretend I know what you’re going through. Even with everything I’ve seen; I don’t know anything. Nothing at all. I don’t know what you mean by months. I don’t. I wasn’t trying to stop you. I just.. Didn't want you to leave like that. Not running away. I wanted you to know that I’m here for when you're ready and it's okay if you need time.”
“You’re…” He hinged and threw his palms up to press into his eyes. Grunting, he smacked his head a ruthless few times and you helplessly reached you. You couldn't stop the strikes and he slowed only to give a heaved breath. “I need to move.”
“Go. It’s okay. I promise.”
“I’m coming back.”
“I know.”
“Y/N.” He inched back a bit before righting himself.
“Yes?”
“I’m coming back.”
“Donnie, I know. I’m not worried.”
Raised to his knees, he stared and you gave him an encouraging nod.
He took it as strength which he transferred to his legs. Standing a little off balance, he stumbled one step before you watched his legs tensed to leave. Lowering your gaze in case that was keeping him in place, you moved to stand yourself. Coming up found a green foot and a prosthetic still standing across from you and you kept your eyes glued to the floor as you retreated further into the bedroom.
You made it one step before he was around you in a bracing hug from behind.
Only touching a hand to his forearms in return, you felt him give over to a full body churr.
He let it linger until he had to growl himself out of it and in a whoosh of air he was gone.
Waiting a few stale minutes just in case he changed his mind, you trailed to the kitchen to shut the window he’d run from. Leaving it unlocked, you surveyed the kitchen and how it was still clean. He hadn’t gotten to eat and you hoped he’d grab something while out. Knowing that unlikely due to him having disappeared in sweatpants, you sighed and trailed the empty apartment.
Feeling the yearn of movement yourself, there wasn’t anything to do. Having already cleaned and you listlessly walked the apartment without an outlet. Hopeless with a lack thereof, you ended up sitting on your side of the bed. Across from you stood the dresser that Donnie momentarily ran to and you watched a phantom memory of him flinch away from his own anger.
He’d compared his emotions to a leaking package. It didn’t sit right with you, but it felt like a moot point. You thought otherwise. You thought he was making progress. He’d seemed like he was on a steady incline to happiness. Each day he opened up for what you considered his true purpose.
He’d also mentioned otherwise more than once.
He considered you the anomaly and this trend of happiness to not be the true him.
You could have sworn the opposite was revealed, but right now you weren’t sure. You almost felt a form of shock. His set back had occurred without warning. You knew progress wasn’t linear. You knew that there was no inevitability to healing. You knew that each day was simply to be taken in whatever form it could, but that was all knowledge and not done in practice.
When the time came, you’d belittled his meltdown.
Head sinking, the moment of you calling his feelings silly replayed like a haunt.
You deserved the torment of it and swore to yourself that’d be your first apology.
Had you even tried to get through to him?
He’d lashed out, but he’d also be undeniably scared.
You’d registered those emotions and then swiftly undermined them.
Swirling in that distress, you got to your feet.
You needed something in your hands.
Something tangible to manipulate.
You opened a dresser drawer.
In it, you’d never actually put everything back to the way it had been prior to Donnie mixing it up. The system didn't really matter, but for the sake of it, you moved to reorganize. It meant methodically emptying each cabinet and repiecing the collection, but it was better than sitting around berating yourself.
In the grand scheme, it was another known fact that was easy to say and harder to exercise.
Things got messy.
You both were bound to make mistakes.
Neither of you were perfect.
Your underwear had been split between three drawers as of current and you filed them into a tidy row to all go into one.
What mattered was how you handled it.
Things could get heated, but it was how you moved forward that mattered.
As Mikey had said, you could only try to be better.
Scooping up a heavy load of winter clothes that should have been more readily accessible considering the month, you set down the stack only to graze something square. Any oddity in what should have only been cloth, you dismantled the stack to find a rectangular bulge folded up in a holiday sweater. Something ugly once purchased for a party, you unfurled the garment to find a pristine looking white apparel box.
Something you imagined was for fancy dress shirts, you slid your fingers along the edge to find it wasn’t taped shut. Deciding it wasn’t a gift and since it was amongst your clothes, you lifted the lid to find finely folded tissue paper. Another marker of a high price tag, you took care in peeling back the billowy edges. Undressing the wrapping in what felt like a literal sense, you revealed a large swatch of what looked like purple satin. Running a finger over the item found it to be much smoother than you anticipated.
Digit halting, it almost seemed like it was silk and your hand lifted at the possibility. Not knowing how to check, you looked the box over to find it offered no indication of its contents. That meant you’d have to pick whatever this was up and the thought that you could be intruding on something else of Donnie’s reared your head. His gifts weren’t ever something you’d stumbled upon before and it seemed unlike him to have hidden a gift amongst your possessions, let alone ones you would need considering the weather.
Caught though you were vaguely aware you were talking yourself into it, you ghosted over the fabric until you found the top edge. Something that felt like a hem, you pinched at it and finally lifted the object to find out what it was. Having revealed a row of clasps, you turned the garment around to find a sort of skimpy corset. Not traditional of anything you’d seen before, it was the shape of it that caused your head to jar.
With a faint curve to its top edge, it was clear this wasn’t meant to accentuate the chest. It would probably skim across your collar and seemed more for creating a sharp waistline. As it went down, it curved further inward until it tapered into two half moons before finishing up with a squared bottom. The whole created a nearly identical shape to Donnie’s plastron.
Much shorter and something that would absolutely not even reach your mons, you held the garment further away as a blush took your face. It was such an oddly specific creation that it seemed made for you. Eyes flicking down to the box, you saw more traditional lingerie of silk and accompanying lace. An entire set, you traded to the corset for lacy strips and found them to be crotchless underwear. Layer after embarrassing layer, you then found nylon which you identified as thigh highs hooked to what had to be a garter belt. Reaching the end of the ensemble, you revealed a folded slip of paper.
Nabbing it with an anxious ferocity, you flipped the card open.
Might as well lean into the interspecies freak -Coral
Slamming the lid back on the box, a memory sucker punched you.
Two housewarming presents. You gotta find ‘em but when you do you’ll know.
You’d completely forgotten.
You'd found the astronaut, but forgot there was another.
Dropping to squat on the floor, you were torn between rage and mortification.
It had been months.
Did Coral even remember?
Knowing her, she surely did.
You probably hadn't put it together as she hoped, but you’d also found it at the worst possible time.
Rising up in a flurry that stung your knees, you made quick work of burying the set back into its box. Clear and hopefully having not messed it up, you messily folded it back into the ugly sweater before shoving it back into its stack. Toppling all the folded clothes in the process, you groaned loudly as you were forced to slow down. Humiliation setting in, you took your time in the second go around and properly snuck the gift where it had once been. From the outside its placement was unrecognizable and you wondered if Donnie had found it in his clothing shuffle.
Remembering your boyfriend, you stopped short of the wardrobe laid out on your bed.
Was it okay to forget that you wronged him?
Stewing didn’t feel good, but moving on from the subject entirely didn’t feel like the correct route either.
Keeping him in mind like a screensaver, you returned to your original task. With everything laid out, it took less time to put it back where it belonged. The physicality of the space in order, it did little for your mental state. Not something you expected to have been fixed by this anyway, there was a faint sense of accomplishment that you allowed yourself.
Carrying it along, you moved to the living room and threw something familiar on the TV. Animated for your comfort, you watched it for a tepid relief and found it a sort of balm. For turning the unnecessary off, it helped. By the time the credits rolled, you felt little pangs of hunger and remembered you’d eaten the definition of a breakfast on the go. Not balanced and of a low calorie count, you approached a cabinet with the intent to prepare something.
Thinking Donnie could have some when he got back, you pulled out a slow cooker as nothing seemed pressing. Readying ingredients in a lull of silence, you listened to how the knife sliced. A different sound and sensation for whatever ingredient, you threw things into the pot and then added various liquid and spices. Already smelling like a meal, you turned the dial on, placed a lid overtop, and left it to properly simmer. Approaching the late afternoon light streaming through the window, you cracked it and had a final thought that maybe the smell would welcome him back.
Scrolling turned into an impromptu nap and you awoke to the faintest creak of a jamb. Blinking in registration that someone had entered your apartment, you found Donnie’s back to you as he slid the window closed. Framed by darkness, he lingered there and you let the scents of the crock pot wash over you. Sitting up, you rubbed an eye and wondered if you should welcome him back.
He turned and his movement hitched as he saw you.
You rose your hand in a sort of wave.
His gaze dropped along with your heart.
Did he hold it against you?
Stopping the trickle of nerves in your chest, you threw your legs off the side of the couch.
“Smells good.” Donnie spoke, soft and unsure.
“Wanted something easy.” You shrugged, not sure whether to commit.
You heard him give a little hum of agreement.
Did you let it be?
He’d needed time.
He wasn’t ready.
“Donnie-”
“Y/N-”
You both stared openly at one another before smiles grew on your faces. The commonality of you both breaking the ice at the same time had you moving and he went to meet you. Stopping short to prevent the dreaded churr, you gave him an obvious once over. Not necessarily dirty, he had a winter’s musk to him that said he’d been outside a majority of the day.
“Are you cold?” You asked first.
“I’d like to shower.” He seemed almost bashful. “I may have reconstructed a small city's worth of air conditioning units… “
You couldn't help but smile at the image. “Go ahead. Want me to get a bowl ready for you?”
“Please.” He gave a nod that was nearly a bow and excused himself.
Thinking your hunger was still faint, you set his bowl aside for closer to when he’d emerge and scooped yourself up some dinner. Eating it right there, standing in the kitchen, you listened to the faint sounds of water hitting his shell. A vision of him exhausted and letting the heat melt into his sore muscles.
Thinking of the labor he'd put himself through, you lounged in a pinup of him in messy coveralls until you heard the sound of water shift. Scooping out a steaming bowl and stirring the potted mixture to prevent further sticking, Donnie emerged in what you considered his comfort outfit. Not for eye candy, but a full body safety blanket of coverage with baggy sweats and a matching hoodie, he’d approached and you held out his bowl to him. He took it, a utensil, and almost seemed to not know what to do next until he decided to plop down on the couch. There he examined his fork, a tine at a time, before he worked on getting a bite with a little bit of everything.
A culmination, your lips parted in a miming as the meal entered his mouth. Closing around it and a subtraction of his utensil, he sat there with a heated mixture surely burning his tongue. He gave a chuff, remembered himself, and finally picked up eating at a ravenous pace. Consuming yours languidly and watching him from the kitchen, he cleaned his plate before getting up with obvious intent. Moving out of the way, he ladled himself another full portion and scarfed it down right in front of you.
“Careful.” You mused, trying to curtail your smile.
He gave a dismissive grunt as he filled his third bowl.
Finishing yours as he was losing steam, you let him be as you left the kitchen. Immediately faced with a choice of the living room or bedroom, you waffled. It was all pleasantries and as much as you disliked it, you wanted to give him the space he needed to process. Your regrets not nearly as important, you decided farthest was best and flittered toward the partition.
“Y/N.” Donnie addressed just as you were about to pass the threshold.
“Yes?” You slowed and gave a half turn.
“Would you-” He swallowed. “-Could we…?”
Making a full rotation, you faced him.
His gaze fell and he looked ashamed. “Were you… going to bed?”
“No.”
He squirmed in place. “Bathroom?”
“No.” You couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“Something… else?”
“Do you want me to?”
“To?” He shyly met your gaze.
“Be busy. You don’t have to force yourself.”
“That’s not…” He tapered off with a whiny noise in his throat.
“What do you need, Don? Please tell me.”
“Talk. We should… talk.” Flinging his head to the top right, a faint annoyance twitched his lips. “I haven’t prepared to but we should.”
“Donnie, you-”
“No.” His eyes closed. “No avoidant behavior. No indulging me further. I’m… a mess. I don’t… want you to see me like this.” He sneered.
“Is that what you’re worried about?” You took a tentative step forward.
“I’m worried about snapping at you, hurting you. My disposition. These… feelings that are still… vicious.” He made a swirling gesture. “I haven't recaptured them.”
“Container, capture, control, it reminds me of something cartoonish.”
He looked at you with tinged distress.
“Not you.” You clarified. “There’s this trope where someone has to rush to clean up a room so they shove everything into the closet. It looks clean, right? But everything is only shoved out of sight.”
Donnie didn’t react, but you could tell he tracked you as you inched forward.
“There’s always this inevitable moment where the closet opens and everything falls out. There was no way it could stay like that. Those things need to be dealt with.”
“They were.”
You perked up at his voice.
“It was fine… I was…” He looked at you, his lips moving to say something, but his expression broke. “It wasn’t, was it?”
You shook your head, feeling a weepiness seize your throat.
“This is a dangerous change. I’ve explained.” He rounded the kitchen counter, but held onto it like a tether. “I’ve shown enough weakness, going out with you. Openly…” He hesitated before worry pinched his gaze. “Laughing, smiling, I’m sure channels have been alerted. You’re at risk. I’m…”
“When will you be allowed to be you?”
“I won’t.” He sighed as if those were the two words he’d been dreading all along. “I never will. I can get as close as I’m allowed, but there will never be true peace.”
“The churring-”
“Well broken. A final straw. You are incredible.” He was in motion towards you.
You wanted to catch him, but flexed your fists.
He looked over them fondly. “You make me…” A smile broke through his discomfort as he encircled one of your hands.
Near immediately, you heard a rumble waft off of him.
He brought your appendage up and pressed it near his larynx where it vibrated against your hand.
“You are my peace. You set me at ease. I can’t help it. Your being satiates mine.” Catching your other hand, he brought it up for a kiss.
“You said months?”
He smiled into your hand and rubbed it against his cheek. “The sound would start and I would cut it off.”
“I never noticed.”
“You’d look at me…” He studied you with a much more even gaze than the last time this was brought up. “There’d be twitches. You’d feel it.”
“I’m sorry, it must have been involuntary. I didn’t actually know…”
Taking your truth, he gave a saddened smile. “I’d been concerned.”
“About me noticing?”
“Its imminent arrival. It was getting harder to offset. You giving it voice was how I imagined it loosed.”
“’What’s that sound?’”
Closing his eyes, he buried into your hand for what you could feel was your scent. It turned up the volume of his ever-present churr.
“You’re getting better at talking around it.” You stepped a little closer and he accommodated.
“What choice do I have?” He gave a faint groan.
“Think this is like touch before?”
Languishing in your palm, he stubbornly fought to look at you.
“You’re holding back right. Could it be like when we first started touching? If you give into it maybe…?”
“That poses a dangerous precedent.”
“I’m not dismissing that I just-oh!” You pulled free of him only to grab his face. “Donnie, I’m so sorry!”
“W-why?” He stuttered around both his rumbling churr and his face being squished.
“I told you that you were being dramatic! You weren’t! I didn’t mean that. I shouldn’t forget this relationship stuff is new to you and it's hard… You’re… You’re such a good partner.” You gave a teary chuckle. “I know, but because of that I sometimes forget.”
He forced his head through your hands so he could properly smile. “Thank you.”
You nodded.
Tucking his fingers into yours he languidly stroked your hold. “You were saying?”
“… That…?”
“Precedent.”
“You really can’t have both?”
“Both?”
“Being able to express yourself how you want without danger.”
“Both…”
“That’s two things.”
“Peace and freedom.” He specified.
“Yes.”
He gave what was almost a sigh and mulled it over. “A herculean effort with no true end. There is no fleeing the choices I’ve made.”
Your gaze dropped.
“They made me. For better or worse. No atonement.”
You gave a single nod.
“United, that falls onto you.”
Looking at him, you smoothed his cheeks with your thumbs.
“Marriage and what comes after. If our family increases. I will never be able to truly let my guard down.”
You stilled.
“Do you still choose me?”
Your lips parted with an instant confirmation, but his thumb pressed into the plump to silence you.
“Think. You’re overly familiar with the repercussions and I can assure you that you’ve only seen a small sampling. Worse may never come, but that doesn’t mean the possibility is nigh.”
His digit held.
“I know your immediate answer. I want you to consider it another way.”
You fluttered your lashes as a go ahead.
“I’m asking if you’ll accept this is what you’ll get of me. You have the whole of me, but you will never see it. You’ll come close and that is a finality.”
He released and you sat with parted lips as his words sank in.
With a little shimmy, he got out of your slack grasp and left you to think.
Hearing him clatter in the kitchen, you knew he was putting dinner away and you finally continued your trek into the bedroom. Sitting on your side of the bed, you looked out at the dresser, now rearranged. In its new old format, it felt a strange comparison to what you’d been told. An unplaced feeling, it was neither sad nor disappointing. A strange fact of life, it was almost something finally given definition that you’d been carrying all along. Settled with its now known knowledge, you felt there were too many running themes.
Donnie approached his side of the bed behind you and you turned.
“Will you stop churring?”
He gave it honest thought. “I will need to find a way to curtail it at every touch.” He rolled his eyes. “What special meaning does something constant have?”
“You're kidding?”
He watched you.
“It’s my second favorite sound!”
“Oh?” He got a knee up on the bed.
“I don’t want to name the first. Someone told me that if I asked about certain noises then there'll be an escape.”
“Sounds like something a moron would tout.” He crawled over to you.
“Can I hug you?”
“Now I know that dummy has clarified this.”
“Part of me will always ask if I remember. To be sure you know it’s always a choice.”
He churred sweetly before reaching you and wrapped you up in his arms.
“It sounds different.” You nuzzled into him and he took you to the sheets.
“I have theories forming.”
“I’m all ears.”
“You’re all nonsense.” He squeezed and you squeaked with a giggle. “You might not have realized, understandably, but today’s noises have been different than yesterdays.”
“When we were having sex?”
He nodded into your hair.
“Does it mean something else?”
“Do you remember what I told you about turtle language?”
“It’s not specific.”
“It’s emotions.”
“You described it as contentment.”
“Imagine it as a word with different meanings based on connotation.”
You wiggled free enough to see his face and brought a hand to his throat. “What's this one say?”
“Content with the sprinkling of desire.”
“Last night?”
He clicked his tongue. “More intangible. There was a certain distracting fog, but devotion and lust.”
You stroke his Adam’s apple. “Clicking is angry. Chirps probably have the most meanings. There’s those squeaky sounds that are usually surprise, but sometimes fear.”
“Very good.” He brushed his lips to your temple.
“Teach me?”
“Am I not?”
“To do it. I want to be able to respond.”
His gaze widened. “Y/N…”
“I've done it before… I… It was something like…” It had been quite a while and done in a stupor, but you summoned your throat as best you could and gave the greeting trill.
The response popped out of him and both of you stared at one another, stupefied.
He rolled you over to crush and you laughed beneath him.
Plied with kisses, you got through a nightly routine glued to one another before resuming the same snuggle where Donnie ran you through chirp after chirp trying to capture some nuance that you weren’t sure your human vocal cords alone were capable of. Growing drowsy, but still giving faint squeaks, he hushed you with a soothing churr that went straight to your eyelids. Lulling them and coaxing you to sleep, you were just about to let go of consciousness when you heard human speech.
“I love you.”
Whispered near silent, he unwound to sleep of his own.
Still adrift, it meant your heart rate couldn’t spike and, though your whole body rallied against it, sleep had you in its hold. Wanting to savor his proclamation even a second more, you waged a mental battle that only allowed you a single prize before granting you a merciful end.
A clarity.
A now known unknown.
He’d been doing this every night in secret for what had to be as long as he’d been churring.
NEXT
Going into the new year still thankful for my best betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83
#weakspotfic#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie x reader#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt x reader#donatello hamato#donnie x reader#rise donnie#rise donnie x reader#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt donatello#me#fanfiction#my fanfiction
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