#so i dont mind losing access to it after a month
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Ticci Toby Headcanons
PT.02
Toby Rogers proxy headcanons. See pre-proxy headcanons here ⬇️
CW: Descriptions of gore, violence, dark themes, abuse.
<NOTE> Once again this is very long cuz I have a lot of thoughts about Tobys character + story. I didn’t go as in depth with his story cuz I dont know if you guys are interested in that. I have his entire life start to finish planned out in my head so just let me know if anyones interested
TICCI TOBY .
For the first four months after the fire, Toby was completely under the influence of The Slenderman.
He was completely dissociated from the world around him. Toby would get an urge, an intrusion, and he would act on it and thats about the amount of control he had
The boy didn’t initially want to kill. He didn’t know what was happening and he felt like he was losing his mind. It was genuinely terrifying not knowing what was real or fake, not knowing why he coughed up blood or felt static in his head
Or why he felt like something was watching him wherever he went
Toby would find shelter in abandoned cabins littered around the forest he frequently ‘came to’ in, crashing at random junkies places, or even sleeping in trees
Slowly over those four months, he found himself losing track of time. He would wake up and days had passed, not knowing where he was or what he did
Sometimes he’d ‘come to’ with blood on his hands. Toby never knew if it was his or not.
He eventually began forgetting many things of his past. They would simply slip his mind. It started with his childhood, then the faces of his family, then the things they did, their voices, his sister, his mother, his father, his actions. It all became a big blur that eventually faded into nothing
Toby was too separated from reality to care or notice. He could barely process the present moment, he was working completely on autopilot almost as if someone or something else was in control. It’s not like He would let Toby dig into his past anyways
This was Tobys life for the first start. But then it got progressively worse as so did his mental state
He was already a sadistic fuck who secretly took pleasure in hurting others (but god knows he wouldn’t have ever admitted that in the past), so when he had his first target, it wasn’t difficult to push him over the edge
It wasn’t as if he hadn’t killed someone before, he knows by the places he had woken up in and the blood on his hands that he’d done some awful things when he wasn’t quite “awake”
He should’ve been freaked out, but Toby knew what he was capable of. And a part of him liked knowing he had that capability to take another persons life without hesitation
UNDERGROUND .
But despite this power, he was sick. He was plagued with Slender Sickness. The parasite burrowed in his mind and his body and now he was a conduit for The Slenderman
The forest Toby usually hid out in was typically called “Slender Forest”, or sometimes just “The Forest”. It was Slender himself. The forest was apart of Slenderman. The roots were his tendrils, the trees were his eyes, the ground was his skin.
The forest existed outside of the bounds of reality and could only be accessed if you were connected to Slender in some way. If you had access to The Slenderman, you had access to the forest
And most people who were like Toby would seek shelter there as it was the best place to hide from civilization and the authorities
The edge of the forest was connected directly to the real world. It was your typical woods with hiking trails, open areas for campers, and was right on the edge of a highway near a lake
The more you go into that forest (if you have initial access to it) the more you’d be entering Slender Forest. It gets darker, colder, the terrain is flat and repetitive
Deeper you go, darker it gets. Toby always felt like he was in a liminal space when he was in that forest, but in the way it feels like being carried to bed from a car ride by your father when you were 4 years old
Eerily familiar and nostalgic, even though there was no way in hell Toby had ever been there before becoming ‘sick’
Over the months Toby would find himself meeting more and more people like himself. Some by chance, some by the metaphorical hands of The Slenderman
This kid was a freak, a weird guy who was just generally uncomfortable to be around. He was unsocialized and an antisocial prick and you could easily tell that there was something fundamentally wrong with him
So no matter who he met, and even if they were just like him, Toby would never really get along with anyone
Toby had bad anger issues and would always pick fights with the others. When he met Hoodie and Masky, two men who were supposedly the same as him, he lost his shit
It caused a lot of problems at the beginning. But it hurt when he went against Slenders orders. It hurt. And to someone not used to feeling pain, it felt like eternal hell when he defied orders
Job after job, murder after murder, all the time lost. They spread the sickness, tied up loose ends, fell victim to the eldritch parasite. The group got to know each other in the most twisted circumstances
PROXY .
There are two types of relationship you could have with The Slenderman
You could be a proxy, a direct pawn for him, a spreader of the sickness, a vessel to allow Slender to interact with reality outside of his forest
Or you could be a Creep, a killer, entity, or person with connections to Slender or proxies but not useful/of interest enough to use as a vessel or pawn
Toby was a proxy. One of the top, the closest to Slender, one of the most used by him. And he was as obedient as he could be
The boy was lazy, but dedicated. He got the job done but he got it done messily and carelessly. Starting forest fires, leaving bodies to be found, letting victims go just for the thrill of chasing them, starting fights with connections, mouthing off, etc
This would piss his ‘coworkers’ right the fuck off because now they’re left to clean up his messes
He didn’t care though. He was hyper, reckless, and he always wanted more. Anything to keep him busy
More murder, more drama, more fights, more jobs, more sickness, more connections. More more more more
As time passed, Masky and Hoodie would beat the boy into shape and he would bite back like a bad dog. But he learnt how to survive the world, and he was crafty
Sometimes they'd go weeks and maybe a month without getting any direction from Slenderman. They were all horribly bored
It was so fucking boring
But after everything he's done, all the shit he's seen, all the people he's killed and convinced to start killing, after everyone hes led into Slendermans trap
There was no way in hell this boy could ever find redemption
This was what he was built for. Toby Rogers burned to ash in that fire, and like a phoenix Slenderman pulled him out and crafted him like clay
Just like he molded Masky and Hoodie
This group was in it together whether they liked it or not
BAD DOG .
Now this kid was a menace. He was a fucked up kid who never really grew out of his conduct issues, he grew into them
A spitting image of his father. Bitter, mean, and alone.
He wasn’t friendly. He was a loud-mouthed, arrogant asshole who said and did whatever he wanted to. He would mercilessly tease and put people down just to be on top, and god forbid anybody hurt his fragile ego
Masky and Hoodie would often beat the shit out of him if he caused problems, even if he couldnt feel it. They knew he hated feeling small, and so when he stepped out of line or did something risky they would do just that
Everybody always made him feel small, and he'd do anything in his power to fight back
He spent so many years of his life not being able to do anything in his childhood. He spent so many years being a victim to those who were bigger than him when he was supposed to be nurtured and cared for
And he was so fucking angry. Toby would take these feelings out on his victims. The sense of power over them was exhilarating. It made him feel alive. For once in his life he made sure that no one would ever fuck with him again, he was finally capable of standing up for himself
Their life was in his hands. He loved chasing them through the forest or hearing them beg for his mercy. He loved the feeling of having the capability to beat someone into submission
He would target people who rejected him or made him feel like a freak just for that powertrip. So his victims were primarily girls at bars who treated him like he was a creep, or people who insulted him on the streets
Toby was a stalker. He would hunt them down and wait for the moment they forgot to lock their door at night or made the mistake of taking a shortcut through an alleyway
The boy wouldn’t let anybody fuck with him like that. He was a bully who pushed people around and hurt them if they went against him
But that was just his victims, he was always just the runt of the group back in his world. He wasn’t smart or mature or wise as those other guys were. He was a reckless idiot who never thought twice and would lose himself to dramatics
And so Toby couldn’t ever really escape the bullying and abuse. He was forever stuck being powerless
This reflected back badly onto his behaviour where he would get more and more reckless and do more risky things just to do more. He needed more. He craved stimulation and was a bit of an adrenaline junkie to a fault
Toby never considered consequences. He was an asshole who said and did whatever he wanted. He didnt give a fuck about boundaries or others feelings, and god knows he never once felt bad for the things he did or said
But while he was just like his father, he had his mothers heart. In another world where he was properly nurtured as a child Toby would’ve been a sweetheart who did good in the world
On the rare occasions where he shut his mouth, you could see this in him. He would sometimes awkwardly sit by people who were having a tough time, not really saying anything but just being there. Or he would give advice in the most annoying, intrusive ways. He always meant well though
But he never let this side show. He was far too paranoid and far too angry to ever be that vulnerable with someone
Toby had a good sense of acting though. He had a knack for theatrics and was very good at putting on a show. He could play a troubled teen, a victim of circumstance. Or he could play a stupid naive idiot who was more like a hyper child than anything.
Sometimes he played into the act so well people would completely forget what he was capable of, and what he’s done, until he got pissed off and starting threatening to hurt them
It was eerie at how well the boy could manipulate people
DIRTY WORK .
At the start, Toby glamorized and idealized his situation and The Slenderman. The strange creature was like a god to him, and Toby wouldn’t ever fight against His commands
But as more time passed and more atrocities were committed, after all the pain and suffering, he began to absolutely hate the life he was given
He began understand all of Brians resentment, all of Tims anger
No matter what he felt about it, there was no getting out. Toby couldn’t die, he couldn’t run, he couldn’t hide. There was absolutely no escaping the sickness
He was always watching
Toby did what he did, and he would forever be a puppet to this thing.
Sometimes he would sit alone in the pews of a Church, not to pray or seek forgiveness, but because in a house of worship and holiness the sickness subdued for a short while
The boy wasn’t built for hope and forgiveness anyways. He couldn’t imagine any sort of future for himself and just took everything day by day, moment by moment
So the next few years of his life was spent crashing in abandoned cabins or Tims apartment, ruining every good thing in his life, patrolling the forest, washing blood off of his hands and losing so much time to Him
And for those next few years, Toby would spend every waking moment wishing he was never saved in that fire
#creepypasta#ticci toby#horror#creepypasta fandom#ticci toby creepypasta#creepypasta writing#creepypasta ticci toby#creepypasta headcanon#ticci toby fanfiction#ticci toby headcanon#ticci toby headcanons#toby rogers#pyrocrpz
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Personal thoughts (ignore meee)
(Incredibly long post to put my thoughts because i dont wanna write in my physical journal right now but ill lose this if i dont put it on my tumblr, which i treat as a sort of visual journal)
Been thinking about death and how to soothe my death anxiety.
I got very sick with covid and I'm still fighting it a month later. Now I have a few early signs of pneumonia, which is one of the real dangers of covid.
After 4 weeks of being very ill with something like covid and with pneumonia looming, the worst case scenario keeps revolving in my mind. It's been tickling my death anxiety and i want to try and sort it out a bit.
Im doing what I can to rest, but who knows how this'll pan out. My boyfriend caught it at the same time and got over it in 10 days or so and he's head empty no thoughts about the fact that we finally (after 4 years of never catching it) caught the thing that stopped the world and killed millions.
So, I've been thinking about death. A little anxiously. A little calmly. Mostly with a nervous puzzle-solving confusion. I want to stop being afraid of illness and death. I have hypochondria and death anxiety. Had them since about a year after my mom died of a sudden illness. They got worse in 2020, like they did with most others afflicted. I've been able to have some months here and there where my anxieties were less. They're usually characterized by less screen time, more journaling, more time spent looking out windows, more time spent reading Stoic philosophy and Compassionate Mind Therapy works, and a little investigation into Near Death Experience studies that overwhelmingly report pleasant and positive experiences of the afterlife. I also spend some time with my spirituality, but I'm a very specific type of spiritual agnostic and since my mother died there's no one in my life who believes exactly what I believe (though my bf believes about 90% of the same stuff). The good times are when I'm in more or less good health and set aside time for gratitude and slowness and lots of gentle thinking and puzzling about life and death. The best times are when I'm very grateful, very mindful, and invest in enjoying the beauty of incredibly mundane things I'm usually too anxious or desenstized to notice: the feeling of my decade-old comforter when I lay on it, how sunlight hits the curtains in the computer room, how the green tea I've been drinking for 13 years tastes, how the trees and bushes cast little shadows, how the wind smells, etc etc. These are things that are almost always accessible in everyday life, but I rarely take time with them. But, when I do, -when i honestly and completely let myself enjoy them with love and gratitude for life and the world around me- I feel the most connected to "life". It's pure joy.
I have a very hard time accessing these feelings when I'm sick or in pain. Instead, I ruminate on my anxieties or distract myself with screentime.
But, back to death:
I hate the idea of dying confused and scared. The same way I hate feeling anxious and scared when I'm sick. I want to be calm and accepting. I want to feel joy and gratitude. I'm not sure how to articulate why this is important to me, but I absolutely hate the idea of getting sick, feeling awful, feeling scared and anxious, and then dying in fear and anxiety. It is very, very, very important to me to meet (or survived brushes with) death with a calm, clear, and grateful mind.
So I've been using this sickness as an opportunity to try and work on that because, honestly, my first reaction is more anxiety than calmness.
I was considering how I might try to accept my death if it were anytime soon - either from this covid pneumonia or from something else. (Because any of us could die from almost anything any day.) This is also because my aunt, who I only got to meet once, is also in hospice right now and I can't travel to see her one last time. She's all that's left of my mom. When I met her a few years ago, I saw so much of my mom in her. Mannerisms and tones and jokes I hadn't seen or heard in 8 years were still alive in her. The sound of her voice over the phone sounds so incredibly like my mother's (of whom I only have 1 or 2 home video recordings from the 90s because she was notoriously scornful of being recorded or photographed) that I cried after our conversation ended. My aunt is 81, if she passes, she will have lived 20 more years than my mom. She came down with this illness right around my mom's 10th death anniversary. She has had a long life behind her. My mom died at 61. A bit young, but she still had a very eventful life full of stories, trials, and blessings.
When it comes to death, I'm not frightened of what's on the other side. I believe death is just as natural and neutral as birth. I believe in all the reports and studies and stories about a benevolent and beautiful "other side", just as my mom had described it when she had her own near death experience 5 years before she passed. She gave me an amazing childhood and adolescence full of wonder and wisdom and death positivity. She loved discussing mortality and spirituality and the science around death. She had equipped me, very well, to know how to mourn her. Of course, without her, I lost touch with that straightforward death positivity and became more and more anxious. But I'm trying to get back to that calm, steady acceptance I once had.
While I'm scared of dying painfully, I'm not too worried. Morphine and other interventions can help and pain is temporary and, I'm sure, forgotten when you cross.
I mostly have a certain stage fright of death. Despite my beliefs about the other side, I'd still be scared, like a novice actor backstage, of being pushed beyond the curtain to see what's on the other side and succumb to whatever it is that happens on the other side. I do take comfort knowing that every human who has ever lived, including my mother, has died and if they can do it, so can I.
One other common fear of death is the worry of leaving others behind. I'm not worried. Ethan would figure life out, eventually. He'd carry on. I've told him, in our occasional talks about death, that he should move on as soon as is right for him. I'm not worried about my friends, they'll be fine, too. I don't have kids, which is the major fear people have about dying "early", so that's fine. My sister would probably grieve a little while (she estranged herself from us, but has been trying to get back in touch a little), but she'd move on, too. Dad would be the person I'd worry about the most, but he has Debbie to take care of him and he'd also move on, eventually, though he would have the worst time of it. He's very death anxious. But, all in all, everyone would be fine. So, I'm not scared of leaving anyone behind.
If I were to die soon, I realized that I'd regret not having the chance to do more.
I'm notorious for being hyperproductive and burning myself out. But I actually feel I'd regret working so hard lol. My company doesn't need ALL of me. I wanna take more time for myself.
I don't mean I'd regret not being more productive. I'd regret not creating more. Not making more of an impact. Helping people, connecting with people.
I've already done some of that, but I want to do more before I go. I'd like to have some kind of accomplishment that's just for me for the impact I've had on others and the world. Volunteering or helping organizations or content creators I admire like Stoicism or Compassionate Mind Theory science communicators or maybe writing the books i wanna write so I can at least give people a fun little time with some stories.
Maybe it would be raising a child someday (probably adopting), though I'm on the fence about this.
But, what really gets me, is I don't know WHAT is missing. I just have a general sense of wanting to do more and consume less. I want to spend a little less time on my phone or rewatching movies and spend that time on something meaningful.
Usually, when people are close to death they regret not making more friends but I feel pretty okay. I'd meet people doing whatever the meaningful thing is I wanna do.
What bothers me is there's no way I'd be able to do a super meaningful or impactful thing between now and when this pneumonia would escalate. Soooooo I also wanna find peace that if I were to die before I could do something more, I want to accept that I did what I was able to up to this point and just be okay with that.
Because, honestly, we are all deeply impactful presences in the world even if we don't do a lot.
My writing for media psychology has had an impact on many people. I've gotten lots of comments from people saying my writing has helped them or inspired them, changed their lives. I think that's probably good enough. Maybe instead of saying I'd "regret" not doing more, the better way to think of it is "if I could live a little longer, I'd love to do more".
Anyways, I'm tired now and rest is important. I had to get these thoughts out linearly. Time for bed. Will try to spend time grateful and joyful tomorrow. This pneumonia will statistically probably get better on its own, but its been a good obstacle and lesson to learn about myself. But, just on the off-chance Im headed for serious illness or even death, I'm gonna try and enjoy everything I can for now.
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Hey, I had a request, I dont know if you are comfortable writing this or not but if you are can you please write about RM and that he is feeling insecure about his looks and weight so he starts dieting and it gets to the point he maybe faints, but the members help him get better. I understand if you don't feel comfortable writing it.
Sure! It's not my area of writing but I can do this! also, I hope you don't mind me adding a dash of emote. I hope you find this to your liking!
Sickie: Namjoon
Caretaker: Jin, yoongi, Jimin
Tw: Eating D*sorter, a small mention of emeto, nausea, fainting, etc
Word count: 1,195k
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There had been a lot of talks online about namjoon. No more than usual. Some things were good others not so much and namjoon tried to focus on the good ad the things that made him most happy. Something bad would always manage to slip through. He to writing about it to ignore and any other of the many tactics he's used over the years but something about these certain comments was weighing on him. It hit a little too close to home. He tried to play it off to the other members and to himself like it affect him. Though he'd worked hard to build his body into the shape it was he was incapable of looking at his appearance once he walked past a mirror in his house. He'd stopped training a while ago. He'd stopped due to the fact he was too busy and tired to do so but when he eventually had the time he decided not to. When he did manage to get a glimpse of himself it was a reflection or the mirror. He stop and wonder, why he was displeased with himself. Why he didn't like the person he'd worked so hard to become in the mirror. It upset him. He knew that a large percentage of the weight he had on his body was muscle but he still hated to see how big and bulky he was. He decided he had to do something about it. He figure he'd cut back a bit, diet. He's not unfamiliar with the notion of cutting back a bit. After all, that's all he did when he was younger, and even so during tours, but during tours, he had more access to more inquire and flavor-rich foods. He figures it won't be as hard to cut back since he's not doing as much physical activity as he would on tour or in his younger years.
He'd start today, he skipped breakfast, and lunch as well and at a small portion for dinner. So far so good he thought to himself. He was hungry that before but nothing he'd experienced before. He felt better about himself when he didn't eat as much. He was a week's worth of dieting before he began seeing drastic changes. At first, it wasn't anything anyone would notice but that changed after a few weeks. He'd fill the missing space in his clothes with more layers. As his body gets weaker and smaller his mind changes from contentment to unsatisfied. His losing so much weight wasn't a problem until others began to notice. a few members mentioned it in a joking tone. Losing weight in Korea was a sort of compliment. So if he saw an acquaintance they might mention it in a polite way. After a while, his preplanned clothing for certain events seems to swallow him whole upsetting his stylist a bit. The members began to have serious talks about it. Rm would calm their concerned thoughts and even lie explaining that the diet had an end soon. It was all put to an end by the members after on frightening event late one afternoon. The members were meeting up for a recording scheduled to be released a month or so from now. The members were all having a blast. Namjoon was too, as long as he didn't play around too much, or look at the food on the table, or do anything that would make him more tired than he already was. He kept and smile on his face. Any members are always the best. It was a little hard to keep the smile when he was reminded of the tonnes of disappointment the members felt for him for not taking care of himself.
It began to weigh over him. To the point where the other members began to yell out his name whenever they had to get his attention. He was lost in his own thoughts. There was a point at which he wanted to go to the bathroom. He told announced it when the talking died down a bit. He was feeling extremely tired and felt his thought was becoming too much. he hoped to go to the bathroom to escape them. After e announced his leaving he stood wobbly head banging and his stomach turning a little. All from the motion of forcing his weak body to move from his seat on the ground. He felt lightheaded as he texted the set to go find a bathroom. He had to stop a few times to collect himself. to his lunch nausea tapered off a bit once he made it to the bathroom. He rested the weight of his body on the sink. He looked into the mirror he looked sickly to himself. He hated what he saw. He felt awful for making the people around him worry. but he was at a point where he couldn't no longer eat anything at all. He knew he was in a bad place and that if he didn't stop it only get worse. With shaky hands, he turned on the sink and splashed water on his face. It was cold. He took a rough-to-the-touch paper towel and slowly exited the bathroom. If he was tired before he was twice as tired now. The simple act of walking was a workout for him now. He plastered a smile back onto his face before entering the room full of people. He could keep it up for long before his heart began to pound out of his chest. His vision became spotty. His throat was trying and his stomach turned harshly. Before he knew it his vision went dark ad he felt pain strike across his body. When he started to wake up. there was someone holding his legs up. and serval others talking over him. one's voice sounded a lot like yoongi's telling what seemed to be jin hyung to keep his legs up a little higher.
Namjoon tried to open his eyes but was immediately struck with dizziness. He closed his eyes back, held his head, and grew at the pain he was feeling all over. from his pounding head to his aching side. He must have fallen sideways into the floor. Jimin had an ice pack just above his hip. He could hear Jimin speaking too. " He's got a lot of bruises from the fall," Jimin says applying the cold compression on the leader. " how's that head doing joon?" yoongi asked. seeing that the younger was coming too. "si-ck" namjoon managed to slur. Namjoon's not sure why that was the first thing he said, he knows he has absolutely nothing to bring up. For the rest of the afternoon, the members comfort him. They give him medicine for his aching body and words of encouragement. Namjoons was throwing apology after apology. He felt ashamed that he had gotten to a point where he couldn't take care of himself. They invited themselves over to his apartment making sure he had everything he needs. They even managed to get him to eat a few bites. They also stayed the night making sure namjoon got good rest.
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It's a bit short my apologies
#btssickfics#btssickie#bts sickfic#btssick#sicknamjoon#caretaker!yoongi#caretakerjimin#caretakerjin#caretakeryoongi#btssickfic request#bts emeto#tw nausea#tw vomit#twed
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Could get more maiden may
Winter watched from a balcony as May used ice and fire with her staff in order to take out a few of the Atlas drones she was pit up against. Machine limbs and weapons littered the arena that May had started to fight in and all Winter could do was watch as Ironwood gave May instruction after instruction.”
“That’s enough, Specialist Marigold.” Ironwood’s voice echoed through the arena. “You can stand down now.”
Winter sighed and watched as May started to walk off the arena. “SIr, dont you think you’re being a bit rough on her?”
“She’s the winter maiden now,” Ironwood said calmly. “She doesnt have the luxury of easing up on her training. There are people out there that if they find out about her, they’ll do whatever they can to get their hands on those powers she now has.”
“And if this is supposed to be a secret, why am I allowed to know?”
“Because you’re going to be the one to protect her. And, hopefully be the one that ends up with the powers when she’s killed.”
Winter felt her heart sink as she listened to Ironwood. The idea that she’d lose May wasnt a thought she’d want to dwell on, nor the fact that she’d be the one to keep her safe if she was attacked. Which meant that if anything did happen, it would then be her fault. Her voice shook as she spoke again. “And… if I decline, sir?”
“You dont get to.”
Winter let out a sigh, her eyes still glued on May until she left the arena. Once she could no longer see May below her, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she listened to Ironwood’s boots against the tile floor and the door closing behind him. After a few minutes of composing herself, she made her way down to the locker room, hoping May would still be there.
The heels of her boots clicked as she walked down the empty hallways, her breathing seemed to stutter as she pulled out her scroll to watch the map of the lower areas of the base. She was still unfamiliar with the catacomb-like halls that roamed below the main building where May was kept. At the end of the hallway, Winter was greeted to a small panel to scan her hand for entry. The only way in or out of this area and as far as she knew, only she and Ironwood had the access to make their way this far. She placed her hand on the scanner and waited for the light to go green, her eyes looking up at the camera that seemed to watch her every move.
As the scanner chimed her entry, the door opened to let Winter into the hallway and to the locker room just outside the arena. She dodged a piece of ice that flew from the other side as May yelled and grunted.
“Damn General and his fucking rules!” May slammed her hand against a locker and froze it solid just before she shattered it with her staff. With a panting breath, she dropped her staff and sat down in front of the shattered, frozen metal. “I cant take it here anymore!”
“Then… maybe its time we get you out of here,” Winter said as she slowly made her way to May.
May quickly stood up and smiled at Winter and rushed over to hug her. “Winter!”
Winter slowly put her hand on May’s back. “I know, its been a while.”
“Three months. I havent been allowed to see you for three months!” May slowly pulled back and paused as she looked Winter over. “You’re… not here to just see me, are you?”
“If the general can have his way, you’ll be locked up here for your own safety so nothing happens to you or the powers that you hold.”
“Right…”
“But… I’m going to get you out of here.” Winter sighed and looked around the room. “This is no way for you to be held and… maybe you’re right, Atlas isnt exactly treating Mantle well, but I still have a duty here. You… dont.”
May looked at Winter curiously. “So… what do you have in mind?”
“You said you wanted to join the Happy Huntresses, right?”
May paused, then grinned at the thought. “Tell me what to do and I’ll be ready.”
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Sirens blared through the hallways as the emergency lights kicked on after a few explosions near the base of Atlas. May pulled a hood over her head as she ran with Fiona, still nervous about the plan. Though despite all the noise, she kept herself breathing steady as the two made their way through the base as quietly as they could. “Now where?”
“According to the map Winter gave us, we’ll take a right here and then a left after the fifth hallway.” Fiona put her scroll away and watched as the doors near the command center shut loudly next to them. “Robyn will be waiting for us in the hangar.”
“Do I even want to know how three of you managed to cause this much trouble?”
“We’ll talk more once we get you out of here!” Fiona quickly pulled May to the wall to avoid a few soldiers that rushed down the halls. “And werent you the one who said that your semblance cant mask our voices?”
May rolled her eyes and waited for the patrols to leave before she started to make her way forward again. Everything had moved so fast from the first explosion, to the blackout, and then the whole base almost seemed to rock. As the hangar came into view, she paused as she saw the airship that Robyn was waiting for them in. “You have got to be kidding.”
Fiona rushed over to the old cargo ship. “You can complain later, for now, this will work.”
May followed after and ducked in just as a few soldiers had started to make their way to the hangar. She closed her eyes and focused on her semblance once more as the airship started to turn invisible once it started moving.
Fiona relaxed and smiled at May. “You know, you didnt do half bad. When Winter came to us, we thought it was going to be a trick.”
“Speaking of, she mentioned you had something the general wants,” Robyn turned around as put on the autopilot of the airship to make its way down to Mantle. She looked May over and frowned. “So, what exactly did we put a target on our backs for?”
May opened her eyes, golden fire spouted from them as she held her semblance. “Its… something we’re better off talking about when we’re safe.”
Robyn nodded and turned to face forward to watch for an empty lot to ditch the ship. “Then I guess we’ll have a while to talk about it before we start helping Mantle.”
May dropped her semblance out of surprise. “W-wait, what?”
“That girlfriend of yours made quite the case of helping you out. So, there’s one thing I want to make sure of before we land.” Robyn held out her hand to May. “Do you really want to help Mantle?”
May slowly took Robyn’s hand and nodded. “It’s where I belong and the one thing I can do the most good. I want to help Mantle any way I can.”
Robyn smiled as her semblance started to make her hand glow green. “Then welcome to the Happy Huntresses, May.”
#rwby#drabbles#may marigold#winter schnee#robyn hill#fiona thyme#hellbore#winter x may#maiden may au#may-den may au#may-den may#maiden!may
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It’s been so long since we had some Idia. Can I get Mature Content Warning Yandere Starter Prompts #4 from your Yandere prompts 2 ? Nsfw pretty please?
(Hopefully i did idia justice)
4. “You’re mine. All mine.”
(Yandere! Idia Shroud x Fem! S/o)
(WARNING NON-CON AND NSFW AHEAD)
Idia must have kept the room cold on purpose to try and break her will. There was no other possible explanation as to why (Y/n) was kept in what felt like a meat locker day in and day out and denied access to clothing. She was forced to sit in the corner closest to the outside world, curled in a ball trying to not let her naked flesh be exposed any more than necessary. (Y/n)’s lips would be blue, her fingers and toes numb long before Idia would come to check on her and see if her mind had changed.
See against all odds, the tech-inclined hermit had developed a bit of a thing for the girl. It was a one-sided romance that blossomed within Idia’s heart and drove him to do less than morally sound things like installing cameras into her room and stealing her clothes while she was away at class. For (Y/n)’s sake, she began to grow more and more paranoid as the weeks went by. Though she had no solid proof of it, she was sure that she was being stalked by something, someone.
Her sleep was fitful, and she was slowly going mad with exhaustion when Idia finally made his move. One moment (Y/n) was walking down a hallway, the next she was being dragged off by robots to Ignihyde. She was deposited in the dormhead’s room and left to wait there until the prefect had returned. In that time she had plenty to think and try to figure out why she was there at all. Finally Idia made his appearance, and yet (Y/n) couldn’t think of a single thing to ask as he smiled wickedly.
Idia told (Y/n) of his feelings for her and that he wanted her to be his player two as it were. He must have been expecting a different answer to his proposition as he flinched away when the young woman began to yell furiously at him and shake him violently until his robots swarmed the room to restrain his darling. Idia was shaken by her objection but quickly regained his cool before ordering (Y/n) to be stripped down and put in the time-out room until she was ready to be agreeable.
That had been a couple of days ago and (Y/n) was losing the will to resist. So when Idia opened the door to check on her, she threw herself at him and clung tightly. “Please… please dont leave me again…” she mumbles burying her face in the young man’s chest as his blue hair began to burn red with alarm at her sudden affection. “I won’t… but you gotta promise to be my player two… just say those magic words and I’m yours baby” he crooned running his fingers through her hair.
“Please Idia...I wanna be your player two… i wanna play with you” (Y/n) said desperately and received a grin from Idia who scooped her up, carried her back to his bedroom, and dropped her on his bed. The young woman was so overwhelmed by the warmth of the room and the softness of the bed she didnt even notice that the young man taking his clothes off until his pants flew over her head as it was discarded. Once he was totally nude, the boy climbed onto the bed and began kissing his partner.
“I-I-Idia? What are you doing?” (Y/n) stuttered out as she pulled away from the kiss and tried to push the young man away from her as he leaned in to kiss her again. “Kissing you, and maybe doing something more” Idia replied breathlessly before making out with (Y/n) some more as he began groping her body eagerly. The young woman wanted to fight him off but the fear of being thrown back into the cold kept her laying where she was all obediently for the young man.
Eventually Idia’s hands ventured down between (Y/n)’s thighs and his fingers probed her cunt curiously. The girl’s body jerked in response to having her inners invaded by the boy’s fingers. The young man grinned and drove his fingers deeper into her pussy stretching it out for what would come next. After a few moments he pulled his fingers out with a soft slurping noise and wrapped them around his cock before jerking himself off a few times to ready himself for the young woman.
Idia slowly inserted himself, sinking into (Y/n) with a low moan as their bodies met. “You feel really good around my cock” he crooned moving in and out of the young woman, breathing heavily through his teeth. The girl beneath him bit her lip trying to keep silent as her was forced to move with the boy’s thrusts and seeing stars through her half-closed lids. “Hey… do you feel good? Tell me please” Idia said squeezing one of (Y/n) breasts to get her attention back into the moment.
Of course she didnt want him to know how she was feeling but it wasnt like she had a choice, if she tried to play coy he would probably just fuck her harder to get a reaction. So with great relucance she nodded and received a kiss on the lips as Idia’s hips moved faster and faster. “You’re mine. All mine” he muttered softly reaching down to toy with (Y/n)’s clit. The young woman bit down even harder on her lip making it bleed as she was pushed towards orgasm. Eventually she was overwhelmed and cried out as she came.
It only took a few more thrusts before Idia came as well, spilling into her with a groan. He pulled out after a few deep breaths and laid beside her. “That was even better than any of my hentai games made it look” he said happily snuggling up to (Y/n). “I can’t wait to tell my gaming friends about us becoming an item and Othro will be so excited about having a big sister figure” he went on blathering on about all the stuff he was looking forward to do with her while she began to drift off to the first semi-peacful sleep she’d had in months…
THE END
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so basically simblr is dead because capitalism
This might be controversial but in the past few months, I’ve noticed that simblr as a community spends a lot more time calling out creators for paywalling their cc and not enough time asking why which, in my opinion, is a huge oversight on our part. I’m not saying we should stop holding these creators accountable nor am I trying to excuse them, i just want to give some insight on what I believe is a larger societal problem with productivity culture and capitalism in general. In the past few years, there’s been this growing idea that in order for a hobby to be a worthwhile use of your time, you have to turn it into a hustle. If there’s a thing you enjoy, monetize it. It’s been drilled into our minds that if we aren’t actively making money, we’re being lazy and bad. This inevitably causes people to begin to resent their hobbies and lose the spark that made them love it in the first place. I think that this is why simblr feels so dead to a lot of people and why a lot of bigger creators lose their passion for the sims go on long hiatuses- the pressure to turn our love of this game into something that makes us money. I'm not saying to stop monetizing your creations, nor am i trying to criticize creators who put their content up for early access, I have no problem with that morally, but I do think it can be somewhat dangerous for your own mental health and accounts for a lot of the burnout we're seeing on simblr. The thing about simblr (and social media in general) is that notes and overall recognition can feel like another form of currency, so even if you don’t monetize your content, you’re likely to feel this pressure. If your post gets a lot of notes, that means it’s a Good Post, and the time you spent was justified. You were productive! If it doesn’t, it’s a Bad Post, and your work isn’t worth anything after all. To any simmer reading this, your love of the sims is valid and should be celebrated no matter whether or not you're making money from it or if it gets a lot of notes or none at all. To any simmer reading this, your love of the sims is valid and should be celebrated no matter whether or not you're making money from it. you dont have to justify the way you spend your time and something doesn't have to be productive to be worthwhile. i'm curious to see what ya'll think about this take, especially @xldkx, who has a wonderful post ab the death of the simblr community that i recommend you check out if you havent already!
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Mess We Made - first (m)
Pairing: Baekhyun x reader
Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, highschool AU (first chapter only), university AU, fluff, ANGST
Words: 9.4K
WARNINGS: mature content, unprotected sex, cheating (not bbh), terrible family relations
Quick A/N: Finally, the anticipated full story for this drabble is coming! This will have more chapters! I am a bit self-conscious about this one. But I think it is a good challenge to grow as a writer. Hopefully it worked. Please let me know what you thought? ^^
Plot: You were willing to put the both of you through suffering without realizing you might hurt Baekhyun's feelings in the process. Even though he was yours, you were never his. And he would not stand in the way anymore.
tags: @byunfirstlady (hope you dont mind the tag; you were interest and since its been ages I tagged you to let you know 🥺 if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)
parts: first -- second -- third -- fourth (final)
-
Mess We Made, part 1
“Psst,” you heard from your right side as you walked through the corridors of your high school. Before you even managed to look in the direction of where the sound came from, a hand grabbed you, swiftly bringing you into the darkness of the corner, the cold wall pressing into your back. Baekhyun came into view with his breath-taking smile as his lips hovered over yours, stretched out in a mischievous smile. “It's me.”
Instantly, you grinned, mimicking his wide smile. “I was looking for you.”
“Well, I found you first,” he whispered, and leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle manner.
He had been your boyfriend since the second half of the first year in high school. You were now both seniors, ready to graduate and enter your chosen universities. You both chose the same one, the idea of not being able to see each other too ugly to risk going to different schools.
You felt Baekhyun's hands slide down your sides, reaching the hem of your short uniform skirt and his feather-like touch made you squirm and laugh right into his mouth. He followed suit with giggles. “It tickles,” you said, and looked into his smiley eyes.
He hummed, though didn't stop his wandering hand as he massaged the upper part of your thigh, the touch sending trembles down your legs, your heartbeat growing frantic. “But you like it. When I touch you there.”
Your breath hitched in your throat, growing red. “Yeah. But only when it's you.”
These final months in high school were those moments when boys were becoming very horny, the skirts of the uniforms girls had to wear driving some of them crazy. Baekhyun, thankfully, wasn't as affected, though you were thinking if it was because he already had access to you. You would tear his head off if he tried to touch another girl, but he just wasn't that type of a guy.
Same went for you, too. Baekhyun had a sharp gaze and if he saw a guy trying to lift your skirt up, he would just deal with them in his hapkido language, and nobody wanted that. Baekhyun was a literal martial arts superstar of the school. And also a terrible nerd. He was cool and nerdy. What a combo.
While that was him, the smiling, mischievous boy many girls grew a humongous crush on, you were the more unfortunate one, though many would immediately disagree. A daughter to a huge business company, money was something that was never an issue, to put it lightly. Having your own personal driver, needing to attend pilates classes to keep your form, visiting a dermatologist at least twice per month, eating small portions… everything that would scream rich, was basically you, as much as you hated it.
The reason for your hatred was simple: you didn't belong to Baekhyun's world. Likewise, he didn't belong to yours. But how would that define anything, when both of you were literally all over each other at any given opportunity, feelings too strong to fight them? Did social status really mean something? Baekhyun was studying hard to become a doctor, wanting to bring children to this world, and he had one of the best grade averages in the entire institution. Meanwhile, you, of whom it was highly expected of, didn't have it like him. Studying was not exactly your forte, and you ended up following your parents requirements of applying for business school, so that you would study something that was running in the family. As long as they did not intervene in your relationship with Baekhyun, you would accept and agree to anything. But Baekhyun was untouchable. No matter what would happen, it couldn't, by any means, include him and you always made sure about it.
“'Cause you are mine,” he murmured in your ear seductively, and you melted in his arms.
“That, I am. Always,” you replied breathily, standing on your tiptoes to crash your lips on his before anyone could catch you not spending the break outside of the building.
You just wanted to spend time with him before your family would whisk you away from him, like they always did. Rarely have you had the power to decide your free time, sitting at your father's meetings, mothers cocktails, boredly listening to conversations about money transactions that made you feel uneasy.
“Plans for tonight?” he asked as he gave your thigh a final squeeze before letting go, patting your skirt back down to its normal form.
You hummed, leaning back on the wall lazily, your chest pushed out. “Grandparents are coming over. From mother’s side,” you said, already tired at the idea of the dreadful encounter.
Baekhyun nodded, though you could sense he was a bit disappointed. He never said anything, though. It was safe to say he was used to the way things were working with your family. After all, it had been two years by now. Two years of your relationship. And with each passing moment, the both of you seemed to grow even fonder of each other. He never complained. He loved you.
“Sorry,” you sighed again, closing your eyes for a moment when you felt his palm on your cheek that forced you to open them again, his gaze gentle. He leaned in, nudging you with his nose.
“There is nothing to be sorry about, love.”
“Of course there is,” you replied passionately. “I really want to spend more time with you, Baekhyun.”
“You will. We will be together. Once university starts-”
“Can you understand that you consume my thoughts every second? And when I am not with you, the time just drags and it's like a small hell because I cannot see your face-”
Baekhyun kissed you, interrupting your small outburst. You moaned quietly, shyly, bringing him closer by his tie. He played with your lips, teasing you with his tongue, but he wouldn't go further than that. You were in school and as much as he was mischievous, he wouldn't go that far. “I love you,” he whispered.
You smiled brightly. “I love you, too.”
“And I will wait for you no matter how long it takes, okay? Don't feel sorry. I should study anyway,” he shrugged nonchalantly as if it really weren’t a big deal.
You smiled proudly while massaging his ear with your hand. “Always responsible, my prince.”
Just like you knew he would be, your driver was waiting for you, his face typically devoid of any emotions as you trudged to the school gates, ignoring the snickering gazes of students scattered around the entrance. Baekhyun was with you, hand in hand and just before you would reach the car, you stopped to kiss him goodbye.
“Text me,” you demanded, looking into his eyes.
He nodded, and his long hair fell into his eyes. “I will.”
Not wanting to let go just yet, you took the opportunity and brushed his soft hair out of his eyes while he gently gazed into yours.
“Promise me you won’t go against your parents,” he said suddenly, his voice quiet and hushed.
You focused on him, slowly retreating your hand from his hair. “What do you mean?” you asked, despite having a very good hunch. He knew your family very well, if not from what you have told him already, then from the experiences of when you would bring him home to study together and his parents would be cold and heartless, especially to you, not accepting your relationship with Baekhyun at all.
He sighed and looked somewhere else for a moment, letting the surroundings absorb in his mind before facing you. “I don’t want something happening to you. It just seems to me that the more you go against them, the more they will push you, mentally or physically. And I don’t want that.”
His worries made you feel warm. Someone actually cared for your well-being, unlike other people you were blood-related to. “I will be a good girl, hm?” you murmured, hearing your driver opening his door to get out, obviously impatient. “I will obey. For you.”
Baekhyun nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “That’s the talk. Now go, before Mr Lee loses his cool,” he said, stepping away from you and nudging his head towards your driver who already opened your car door, obviously urging you to hurry.
You pressed your lips together and waved at your boyfriend one more time before turning and sliding inside the car, the door shutting loudly behind you, voicing the driver's dissatisfaction with your attitude.
Even if you wanted to wave at Baekhyun, you knew he wouldn’t see you. The windows were completely black.
You were dressing up for the dreaded dinner when your mother entered your room. Without knocking, of course. She looked at your dress of dark-red colour combined with a cute black bow on your back. The A skirt was hugging your curves just the right way and the hem stopped in the middle of your thighs that were covered in black stockings. Stylish, you thought.
“Slutty,” was what she said, frowning, her forehead wrinkled into three layers of skin. “Change it.”
You looked at her from behind your shoulder, sending her a poker face before facing your mirror again. “I like it. I won’t change it.”
Your mother sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re ridiculous. Who are you dressing up for? Your lover boy isn’t coming tonight.”
“And whose fault is that?” you fired back, hating whenever they as much as mentioned him. He was too good to be pronounced in their mouths. “It ain’t mine, mother. So stop irking me!”
“Watch your tone,” she said in a low voice before sighing deeply and shaking her head. “Listen. Your grandfather and grandmother will be here soon, so change. You know they are very conservative.”
“I’m not even showing skin,” you muttered, frustrated.
“You’re still a high school student. You aren’t supposed to be looking like this.”
Swiftly turning around, you walked to her slowly. “I’m not supposed to be having a chest? A butt? I am still growing, you know. Out of all people, you should know.”
“You have those because you eat more than you should and thanks to your boyfriend you are more horny than it’s okay for someone your age which leads you to have a big appetite,” she deadpanned. “So cover yourself up. This is not a strip club.”
Your mouth fell open, complete disbelief widening your eyes. She must have not been serious. But you knew she was, so what was more annoying was the fact that you still got angry and you still fought back, despite knowing their preferences for years. You tried to ignore the sting in your chest when she talked about food and about the way your body naturally worked. You were a hormonal teenager. Why couldn’t she understand?
Quickly remembering the promise you made to Baekhyun, you collected yourself and, although in pain, you nodded. But before you could answer, your mother continued: “Besides. Given the nature of our get-together today, you do need to look more responsible.”
That made you frown in confusion. “What does that mean?”
She smiled, though it was rather smug than anything else. “You will find out soon enough.”
“Mum!”
“Change,” she commanded, something dark flashing in her eyes before she walked out of the room.
Annoying tears burned in your eyes, and you quickly grabbed your phone, wanting to complain to Baekhyun, but he beat you to it and you found messages from him sent only a couple of minutes ago that immediately pacified your wild emotions.
i’m thinking of you ❤️ always
even now
and even now
and now too
gorgeous 😘🥰
You smiled through your tears, the need of wanting to be with him growing by tenfold. He melted all the negative emotions you had in yourself and you sat down on your bed, your eyes scanning the texts, the emoticons, and then the picture you had for him. He was being silly on it, wearing your sunglasses and pretending to be a girl group member looking seductive.
With a final look, you nodded to yourself, determined to follow what you had promised.
Changing into a white shirt politely tucked into a black pencil skirt with your hair strictly tied into a knot, you looked like any worker in your father's company; not standing out, conservative and a little bit numb.
Only one thing was eating you away as you made your way downstairs to the huge dining hall, your parents already welcoming your grandparents whose eyes gave you a strict look over.
The nature of this dinner.
What could that be?
All of the dinners had something into it. Your parents never did anything just for the sake of doing it. If there wasn’t something profitable in the action, they would never bother. But what did they want from your grandparents?
“Oh, finally you decided to show up. What are these manners, letting your old folks wait for you, hm?” Your grandmother’s words sounded like crow’s wailing. Annoying, terribly annoying.
“Excuse me. Had to dress up properly for your company,” you replied in a calm tone, not paying attention to her nagging. You walked up to them and bowed politely, respecting them.
Your grandma scoffed, frowning at you while your grandfather’s eyes crinkled up a bit in a small smile, though he didn’t say anything besides nodding once to acknowledge your polite greeting.
“Let’s just sit, shall we?” your father voiced, motioning to the prepared dining table adorned in a cream table cloth. “Before the food gets cold.”
“Yes, yes, we have things to discuss anyway,” rasped your grandmother as she sat down.
Your father was at the head of the table while your mother and you sat on his right, your grandparents on the opposite site. You ended up facing your grandfather for which you were thankful. He was one of the less evil. In fact, he barely ever showed any interest in the happenings around the dirty business your family was involved in.
Now that you thought about it, you didn’t know about him and your evil grandma. You had been secluded from any warm interaction since young age, so you never even bothered asking how they met and how they fell in love. How did grandfather even deal with someone like her was beyond your understanding.
Once your mother started talking in her superior tone, you concluded that your grandfather still managed to raise up someone like your mother. He probably wasn’t any better than the rest of the family.
“We have been in close contact with the rival company,” she started and you suppressed the need to roll your eyes.
Servants put all the food in front of you; seaweed soup, lots of side dishes, meat, fish, rice, rice cakes and corn tea. You usually liked the food but given you had to listen to another business talk, you lost your appetite.
“Their son is already in his thirties, so they requested the marriage as soon as our daughter is out of high school.”
You jumped in your seat, knocking your knee in the table rather painfully. You didn’t have time to curse and look at your mother, who continued talking as if nothing was happening: “Obviously we need to finish this deal before any more losses could happen to our business. Their company is overflowing with profit-“
“What are you talking about?” you snapped, not watching your tone that came out rude.
Your father frowned. “Your attitude is honestly disappointing. How can you talk to your mother in that to-“
“I am not getting married to anyone!” you shouted, growing hot-headed, your knee throbbing in pain. “I-I have a university to attend soon! How can I marry before getting a degree?! And I have a boyfriend-“
Your mother laughed drily. “How on earth can you even consider that boy?” she said, looking at you with utmost calmness. “He is just a middle-class boy.”
Your grandmother and father joined her in chuckles. “Don’t be silly,” said your grandmother. “It’s just a high school crush. It’s always about experimenting and not understanding what love is. Silly teenager stuff.”
“What do you know about love?” you asked doubtfully, turning to your grandmother with a death glare to which she returned it back.
“How dare you question your elders?! Calm down this instant and listen!”
If it were possible, fumes would be coming out of your nose and ears. You couldn’t believe what you just heard was true. It couldn’t be. You wouldn’t allow it.
“Besides,” started your father in a scolding manner, “you are not good at studies. We agreed to let you attend the university you chose, but your studies will be fruitless since you didn’t study as you were told to. You aren’t a man either,” he scoffed and gave a side eye to your mother who now froze. “But that isn’t your fault that you weren’t born a man. That’s someone else’s.”
Completely at loss for words, you fell back in your chair, devastated at what you just heard. Not only he degraded you, but he now attacked your mother.
In a sudden need to defend your mother as a woman rather than as your parent, you snapped: “It’s the amount of sperm that a man manages to put into a woman that decides the gender. If it’s anyone’s fault that I am a girl, it’s yours!”
Everyone went silent at what you just said, your father so shocked his mouth hung open. He blinked a few times, regaining his posture but you were already standing up. “I am not marrying anyone! I already have a boy-“
“So you do all the dirty stuff with this boyfriend of yours and that’s why your mouth is so nasty!” came your father’s voice like a thunder.
“She needs to break up with him. He is no good influence on her,” butted in your grandmother nonchalantly as she slurped her seaweed soup.
You snapped your eyes to her, and to your grandfather who was frowning down at his empty plate.
“I won’t break up with Baekhyun.”
“Then keep your delusions up. But once you're out of high school, the ceremony will take place,” said your mother resolutely, sending daggers your way.
“I don’t want to do anything with your business,” you now said in despair. “I don’t want to own your company!”
Your father snickered drily in disgust. “You won’t own our company, daughter. You’re useless as it is, so we are going to merge the companies. That’s the only way we can save our hard work.”
You shook your hair. “No, I refuse!”
“You don’t have a choice,” shrugged your mother now turning back to her plate. “You can do whatever you want, but your fate is in our hands. That’s why,” she emphasized and looked at you, “for your own good, break up with your boyfriend. He is no good news. Save yourself the heartbreak. He is with you for the money anyway.”
You stood frozen, keeping the gasp in. Tears were spilling out of your eyes and you turned around, running back to your room, sobs leaving your mouth.
You always knew your family was a nightmare - cold, scary, emotionless. But this was too much for your young self.
All you wanted was warmth, safety and honest emotions.
All of those were what Baekhyun offered you.
He was more than just a boyfriend.
He was love.
That night, you didn't call Baekhyun, instead deciding to text him back to let him know that everything went fine. He was studying anyway, and if you wanted something, it was for him to become successful in a field that he was passionate about. Unlike you, who barely had any hobbies, let alone passions.
Finally crying yourself to sleep around 3am, your alarm went off too early in the morning, a strong headache first thing you felt as you turned off the blaring thing.
Sighing, you fell back on the comfortable pillows, their lavender smell engulfing your senses and momentarily offering a calming pat on your headache. Closing your eyes, you felt your eyes well up again, the idea of having to break up with Baekhyun just not adding up in your mind. How could you do that? Why would you deprive yourself of the only source of light you had in your life? For someone you never even met. Someone who seemed to be much, much older than you.
“I'm not doing it,” you whispered into the stillness of your room, your voice hoarse. Tears slid out of your eyes and down your sides until they tickled your ears. “I'm not.”
And with that, you faced your day; you washed up, put on your uniform, packed the necessary books and headed out, not saying your morning greetings, nor eating breakfast. Ignoring your surroundings, you went out not even waiting for your driver. You decided you will take the mundane route to school that day: bus and metro like Baekhyun did everyday.
“Hey, are you okay?” Someone’s fingers appeared in the line of your vision. Fingers all too familiar.
You looked up to see a worried Baekhyun, his shirt untucked and his tie loosen-up around his neck giving him the typical goofy, laid-back look that lived up very well to his personality. You managed to smile. “Yeah, just tired. Didn’t get to sleep much.”
“And why is that?” he asked, taking the closest seat to yours, looking around to check if the owner of the seat wasn’t there. When you pursed your lips, debating what to say, he added gently: “What is bothering you, hm? You know you can tell me.”
Releasing probably the nth sigh of that day, you closed your eyes for a moment before looking at him. “Let’s talk after school maybe. It’s not something to discuss here.”
Baekhyun nodded but you saw the rapid thinking his mind drifted off to. He could sense trouble, especially with your family. “Alright, let’s do that. But your driver-“
“He didn’t drive me to school, so he won’t be driving me from school,” you said in a monotone and Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at that.
“How did you come to school?”
You shrugged. “Like you do everyday. Public transport.”
Slowly, his mouth stretched to a soft, lopsided smile, his hand reaching out to caress your cheek with the back of his fingers. “Enjoyed it?”
You mimicked his smile, his touch easing up the tension you couldn’t get rid of since last night. “Yeah, thoroughly. Only you were missing. Then it would be perfect.”
His smile only grew and you turned your head slightly, kissing his hand before he retracted it, keeping the eye contact while he kissed the same spot your lips touched on his hand.
You watched in small awe and you giggled when he added a louder smooch. “You’re unbelievable.”
He let out a laugh, standing up when the bell rang. “But you love me.” He squeezed your shoulder.
“That I do.”
After that, you couldn’t focus any more in any of the classes. Once again it was proved that you wouldn’t be able to even imagine your life without Baekhyun next to you. Yes, the idea of marriage was scary but you’d marry him. In an instant.
Finally coming up with a way to make something out for yourself and of that damn deal your parents made, you slipped out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang announcing the end of your last class of that day. Quickly pulling out your phone, you hid in the toilets and dialed your mother's phone who lazily picked up after countless attempts.
“What.”
So you were still in a war zone. “If I am to get married,” you started without further ado, “he can not touch me. And I won’t be breaking up with Baekhyun.”
It was silent for a moment before your mother let out a laugh. “Oh, honey. We do want you to finish university first before anything else will happen.”
She didn’t add anything more which confused you. “Okay, either way, I won’t be breaking up with Baekhyun.”
“Do whatever you deem correct. Though I bet he won’t like you getting married to someone else? Didn’t you always say how loyal he was?”
You grit your teeth. “Why do you suddenly care about his loyalty?” you hissed, pacing in the small toilet space. “That isn’t your business. You will always get what you want and I already said I will comply but on my terms.”
“Your terms are cheating on your husband? Or on your boyfriend? I really don’t know where this attitude comes from in you. Neither me nor your father are like that-“
Before she could finish, you burst out laughing. “What? You aren’t like that? Don’t be delusional, mother. You’re trying to marry me off for your own profit!” you exclaimed, raising your voice. “The only thing I am asking - no, I am going to do it whether you like it or not. I will be with Baekhyun. I’ll be with him until he breaks up with me.” Because there was no way you would do it.
Your mother was silent for a moment and then she sighed. “Do as you want. As long as you sign the papers…” she trailed off. “I have a meeting now. Let’s discuss once we are home.” And she ended the call.
You realized you were trembling only when you finally let your hand dangle next to your body, already tired from the fights.
At least she didn’t say anything against the idea.
You took it as a positive sign.
You didn’t go home that night. Baekhyun suggested to sleep over at his house and you gladly agreed. It wouldn't be the first and certainly not the last time. His parents knew you well and you always felt their warm welcome whenever Baekhyun brought you home with him. His mother was a great cook and whenever you saw her, you were reminded of Baekhyun's kind smile.
“Are you staying for the night?” asked his mother with a laugh when you greeted her with a polite bow.
You smiled shyly, nodding and looking up at Baekhyun who was gazing down at you encouragingly. “Yes, if that is okay, auntie.”
“Of course! It's Friday night anyway. My son just keeps studying and not living his young life properly so please, be our guest.”
“Thank you,” you smiled and she said she would prepare a late dinner for you while you and Baehyun went to his room to change into something more comfortable.
“Could you borrow me some of your clothes?” you asked once in his room as you were working on unbuttoning your uniform's shirt and watched shirtless Baekhyun roam in his drawer for your favourite shirt of his.
“Here you go,” he said, coming up to you with the shirt and joggers, but instead of handing them to you, he just put them on the bed and mumbled a soft: “Let me.”
His fingers took over the unbuttoning process, and you closed your eyes at the feathery touch of his hands as he uncovered more skin. When he was reaching your stomach, he paused and you cracked your eyes open, finding him gazing at you intently before his eyes fell to the middle of your breasts that were exposed. He unbuttoned the last two buttons swiftly and then pushed his hands inside the shirt, dragging his fingertips over your hips and waist, tapping each bone of your ribcage until he slid his hands up to your shoulders, sliding the material off. “You want to keep your bra?” he asked, almost as if he wasn't breathing loudly, mimicking your rapidly rising and falling chest.
Shaking your head gently, you mumbled a soft no before he nodded in acknowledgement and with one hand unclasped the bra. He stepped even closer, your nose almost touching his broad and very naked chest. You felt his breath on your cheek as he whispered, pulling on the straps of your bra: “May I?”
Swallowing harshly, you nodded and looked up at him to find his fiery gaze intently set on you. When he pushed the straps off your shoulders and your bra fell to the floor, you shivered at the cool air hitting the hot skin as Baekhyun's fingers were back again, dragging them from your back through your underarms until he reached the sides of your breasts. His breathing was irregular, hot puffs hitting your face while you whimpered softly, egging him on to finally grab you.
“You're so beautiful,” he whispered shakily and you let out a loud sigh when he finally took a hold of your mounds, squeezing them gently in his palms.
You brought your arms around his neck, stretching the skin on your chest and you kissed him hungrily, the heat in your core growing almost painful for not being satisfied as you so badly wished you would be.
Baekhyun pushed his tongue into your mouth, going for a dirty kiss right away as he gave a final, stronger squeeze to your breasts before letting them go, bringing his hands down to your backside, bunching up your skirt in lust. He let out a satisfied moan when he grabbed the meat, his finger momentarily sliding inside and between your thighs. You were fast to break the kiss, needing air and also needing to whine because you needed him so badly.
His naked torso pressed now to yours, his hands cheekily teasing you and grabbing you, he was all about games.
“Baekhyun, the food is ready! Come quickly before it gets cold!” shouted his mother down the hallway, thankfully not coming to Baekhyun's room. You froze in his arms nonetheless to which he chuckled.
“Relax,” he murmured, pressing his face into your neck. “She knows not to disturb when my door is closed and you are with me.”
Letting out a breathy laugh, you let go of him just when he did.
“Once we are back,” he said, helping you put on his big t-shirt. “I will take care of that wetness down there. Seems pretty severe.”
You quirked an eyebrow, looking at the tent that was asking for attention over his joggers. “You sound so unaffected.”
He looked down just where your eyes were set and chuckled as if it was nothing. “Oh, sweetie, it's always like this when I'm with you. I just can't help it,” he said and leaned in, biting your earlobe. “You bring out the man in me.”
Everything was a long lost dream and you should have known it. Things you imagined and desired were not what the reality had in store for you, and it just made it more difficult for you to face Baekhyun. Even when you went on the last high school trip where you had the biggest fun, made the most exciting memories, sneaking behind the group to steal a small kiss, even all of that was not able to lighten up your damp mood. Somehow, it was possible for you to fake it, but you would have been dumb if you ever thought Baekhyun believed your words or smiles. He could sense trouble from miles and given the nature of your family, he was always well-aware of how many troubles could grow overnight in your household. He just wouldn't know the severity of the problem. And you weren't planning to tell him, just like you promised yourself and your mother, not until Baekhyun would break up with you.
And right now, it was your graduation day.
The D-day had come when you would have to say goodbye to all your friends, even the fake ones, and you would be a little closer to losing Baekhyun. Except you wouldn't know it would happen that fast.
“Congratulations!” squealed Baekhyun's mother who was fast to hug Baekhyun and you both at the same time, squeezing you to her chest. Your face was pushed into the colourful bouquet of flowers that smelled wonderfully - but from a distance. You tried to squeeze your eyes shut but you just looked down, catching Baekhyun's worn-out converse sneakers.
Baekhyun snorted a laugh when he saw your face in the freezias, and gently pushed you away from his mother to protect you. As you straightened up, you managed to scrunch your face just in time to sneeze.
“Oh dear, I'm so sorry,” giggled Baekhyun's mother and even his father chuckled from behind her which made your heart warm up.
“It's alright, auntie,” you waved your hand, feeling your eyes watering up but you laughed nonetheless because - how could you ever be mad at such a sweet woman who was the only person on Earth to have the right to call Baekhyun hers? As much as you wished, you were nowhere near close to have the right for him to be yours. And maybe you would never be. “Looking at you, I wonder how was my son able to sweep you off of your feet! You're so beautiful!”
You smiled shyly and felt Baekhyun's soft gaze on you, ready to reach out for your hand before his mother pushed the bouquet into his arms. “This is for you, son, and this is for you, my dear,” she said, giving you one as well.
Just when you were about to thank her politely and bow, your mother's cold voice interrupted the merry atmosphere, your happy smile dying down as you turned to face her, your father and a- stranger? A man, to be exact.
“Here you are,” she said, sending a cold smile towards Baekhyun's parents, ignoring your boyfriend altogether. She stepped closer so she wouldn't be overheard, and muttered: “I guess your wishes will come true soon.” She leaned back and you followed her with your eyes as she stepped aside. “Mr Kwon, please meet my daughter,” she introduced you before continuing, “and this is Mr Kwon Minheob, your fiancée. Greet him properly!” she ordered but you didn't even process what she said.
Standing frozen, your arms were about to let go of the bouquet you just received were it not for Baekhyun who was fast enough to get the flowers out of your grasp. “Oh, that's great news! I'll take these for you!” he exclaimed with a smile and you looked at him with pure horror in your eyes. “Congrats by the way! I will miss you as my classmate!” he added and quickly bowed to your parents. “I'll see you around someday!” And with that, he turned and left.
In that instance, many things were swirling around in your brain - complete, utter shock, overwhelm, fear, heartbreak. What did Baekhyun just do? Why did he say that? And where was he going-
“Nice to meet you,” said the older male with a deep voice. You turned your stare back at him, hearing your heart beating in your ears. “What a pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard a lot about you and your studies. It is so nice of you to lower yourself and your status and attend a regular high school with ordinary people. I believe we will have a lot in common.” He finally uncrossed his hands from behind his back and you found a pastel pink bag dangling off of his somewhat thick fingers. “And this is my congratulatory present for you. Congratulations on graduating high school.”
Once again, you just stared at the bag, unable to make your own hand move and accept the gift with a polite bow like you were expected to. The only thing ringing in your mind was Baekhyun and him only. He found out much sooner than he was supposed to and you hated yourself because he was most probably hating you right now. What was worse - his parents were there, too. They all saw it when it all seemed like you were just about to stay with their son forever. Yet, your family, as always, ruined it all and you weren't sure if you would recover.
Looking up to the tall, grown man, it didn't take you a lot to know he was far from anyone you could have feelings for, ever. The words he just spoke, the malice he said them with, was everything you were standing for. Obviously, he was no one you could have things in common with.
Your father stepped next to you and, painfully, pinched your side, making you gasp and automatically reach out for the gift with a low bow. His fingers were squeezing your skin through your dress and it rushed tears in your eyes, but you blinked them away while accepting the gift and staring at the polished shoes of Kwon Minheob.
“Nice to meet you,” you mumbled, straightening up. The gift bag felt heavy in your hand but you tried not to pay too much attention to it. Eventually, your father also removed his hand from your back and he gave you a pressed smile, though you didn't look at him. “Congratulations, our daughter. Now we can go all to our house and have a good di-”
“I'm sorry, but I still have, eh, friends to greet and meet,” you said, “we also all agreed to have our last meal together as a class,” you added, looking up to meet your father's eyes. You weren't lying; the entire class wanted to meet and have chicken and beer. Preferably spend the time loudly somewhere in a good restaurant.
He shot you a dissatisfied scowl, but you held his gaze. “Until when? You won't be meeting them anyway, why waste time?”
“Exactly,” pressed your mother and smiled brightly at Mr Kwon, who kept observing you with quite an unreadable expression. “And we have Mr Kwon to entertain.”
Quite literally you thought you would start wailing right then and there; everyone was going against you, nobody seeming to listen to your words. Just when you felt tears prickle your eyes, Mr Kwon spoke up and surprised all of you.
“That is not necessary,” he declared, giving a curt smile towards your parents, “she is still young and should enjoy her classmates one last time. I suppose it will be difficult to do it once they all go their own way,” he said in a diplomatic voice, looking at you the entire time. It took a lot in you not to flinch and shudder under his gaze. “So go and enjoy, miss, and I will meet you soon to have a more private conversation with you.” You nodded quickly, though blood was already draining from your face at the idea of what he suggested. Mr Kwon turned to your parents. “I will leave you to entertain your daughter and I will reach out soon.”
Before anyone else could say another word, he gave a short bow and disappeared in the mass of people.
“You do realize-” your mother started, but you were fast to push the bag into her chest, not caring whether she caught it or not, and dashing for the direction that Baekhyun disappeared into.
Of course you were aware how much you would get scolded once you actually faced your parents, but right now you couldn't care less. It was better to get scolded, but losing Baekhyun or even making him hurt just the tiniest of bits made you resent yourself.
And so you pushed past crowds, stopping to say hi, keeping an eye out for any coconut head out there with a family that shone brighter than yours would ever shine. Just when you were about to lose it and start straight up crying in the middle of the crowd, you felt a hand intertwining with yours and you just knew. He didn't turn you around, but you felt his body behind yours and it was you who turned, facing him with a scared expression.
“Baekhyun,” you whimpered. Seeing his kind smile made you want to slap him because why was he like that after what he heard?
“Hm? Want to tell me about it now?” he asked gently and combed your hair out of your face, his smile growing by an inch. “Pretty.”
You took a deep breath, shakiness overtaking your legs from unwanted pressure. “It isn't what you think it is.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don't want to marry him,” you said and this time, your tears rapidly grew in your eyes and were rolling down your cheeks. “I-I-I never… I mean, not yet. I did-didn't know he would come, I never saw him before and-”
“Shhh, calm down,” he hushed, bringing your face to his chest, hugging you to himself. “Let's talk about it another time.”
“No,” you said, hiccuping, “I am not losing you, Baekhyun.”
“You aren't.”
“I'm not losing you,” you repeated, closing your eyes and pressing your face more into him, taking a deep breath of his scent, feeling up his warmth and presence. “I'm not losing you.”
He called your name gently. “It's fine. Don't cry, hm? You know I can't stand seeing you cry. I am not mad and I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered urgently into your ear.
“I just hate my family so much,” you mumbled into his chest. Baekhyun's shirt must have been stained by make-up by then, but neither of you cared. “And I don't want their terrible attitude to damage you.”
“It won't damage me. You are important to me, you. Look at me, hm? Look at me, darling.”
You sniffed and stepped away a little, tilting your head so you could see his kind eyes. He cooed, reaching up to run his thumbs under your eyes. “My little raccoon. Let's enjoy today, alright? Just us. And our classmates,” he added with a little laugh.
You smiled weakly, nodding. Anything Baekhyun wanted, he would get from you.
Your entire class hoarded into a chicken restaurant in Hongdae, the loud cheers and chatterings making many people turn in interest to look at you. You sat down around your girlfriends while you let, though reluctantly, Baekhyun join his pals. Even though you would exchange reassuring looks here and there, you still felt incredibly anxious about the incident earlier. In fact, you were so swallowed up by the idea of losing Baekhyun that you didn't even think about the actual fiancée, Mr Kwon.
But instead of focusing on that, you decided to enjoy tonight, for you knew events like these won't be coming up for you anytime soon. If anything, your freedom was close to gone.
“I am going to start my own clothing brand,” started one of your classmates that was sitting next to you, munching on her piece of chicken meat. She went on spilling many details that didn't add up in your brain, though you listened carefully to every word she said.
“You don't have your degree yet,” you replied eventually and took a gulp of your coke.
“Funny, coming from someone like you,” she snickered, “you can decide you want to own an island and you will.”
You sighed, rolling your eyes but your classmate just shrugged.
“I can assure you she won't,” came in Baekhyun's voice. “I know it pretty well, since I'm her boyfriend.”
The girls exchanged looks. They all had a secret crush on him, so his words made them a little embarrassed. “Would you even marry her?” they teased.
“I would. In a heartbeat,” was his answer and you looked at him with huge eyes, your mouth that was slightly oily from the chicken hanging open, your heart frantically beating in your chest.
The entire table hollored and whistled, and you caught your boyfriend smiling proudly at you, eventually sending a confident wink. He tapped his mouth with his index finger and then pointed at you. You felt your lips stretch instantly, because you knew he meant “close your mouth”.
“Whew, you really are lucky,” muttered the girl next to you, changing the topic completely.
His hand was intertwined with yours once again as you were slowly walking along the Han river. Ttukseom Han river park was, as always, busy with young people. It gave a great view on Gangnam and Cheongdam that were lying on the opposite side, the city lights of the tall buildings reminding you how life revolved around money and basically anything that smelled even the slightest of capitalism. You found yourself despising all of it.
“Cat stole your tongue?” muttered Baekhyun playfully into the chilly air as he swayed your connected hands.
“Just… thinking,” you replied and made sure your sides were brushing.
He didn't reply, instead letting silence overtake again, but you knew he was curious. He wanted to, and deserved, to know.
“Did you mean it?” you asked, looking at the dark water.
“Did I mean what?”
“That you would marry me in a heartbeat,” you said softly, scared to actually pronounce those words. They sounded so unnatural, for some reason, despite them mirroring everything you ever wanted in life. “What you said during dinner.”
“Yes, I meant it and you know it, too, sweetheart,” he said, shaking your hand.
You smiled to yourself. If you wouldn't spill the beans now, you would probably never find the guts to talk about the main issue that was simmering like the water in a pressure cooker. “My parents want me to marry that man for business. Something along merging their companies or whatever,” you started. “I found out a while ago but I was fighting them. And then you made me promise to obey,” you sighed, feeling the well-known dread eating up your insides, “and I had to agree. But I don't want to.”
“So that's why you weren't yourself,” he muttered more to himself than to you, and he stopped walking so he could look at you properly. When you wouldn't meet his eye, too ashamed, he put his index finger under your chin and made you tilt your head up. “Why didn't you just tell me from the beginning?”
“Baekhyun,” you whispered in disbelief, “how could I? It isn't some news about apples growing backwards.”
He chuckled. “Well, you have to admit, that would make the headlines.”
You giggled, rolling your eyes. “You know what I mean.”
He let out another chuckle through his nose and slid his hand up so he could cup your cheek lovingly while thinking over his next words. “When are you supposed to marry him?”
You swallowed. “Maybe after uni? I … I never wanted to talk to them, so I don't know exactly… I insisted after university graduation.”
He hummed, running his thumb over your lower lip, his gaze focused on the way he parted your lips. “So, we have four more years?”
You pursed your lips, not liking the idea of having limited time with Baekhyun. “Of course not. I will always be with you.”
He sighed, and eventually dropped his hand on your shoulder; you tried not to feel disappointed. “I think this is more complicated than you think, love.”
“How is it complicated, Baekhyun?” you asked stubbornly. “I love you. I saw that man today for the first time in my life. How can I marry someone I don't know and barely ever saw? He is almost twice my age, Baekhyun. You know this is not okay and you also know it doesn't make any sense.”
“And you know business is anything but emotions,” was his fast reply.
“I don't care about their business.”
“And they don't care that you don't care.”
“Bu-but I just don't care! I will be with you behind his back and-”
“And how would that make me feel?” he fired back, now both of you slowly getting heated up from the small exchange of opinions. Baekhyun just asked something you never wanted him to utter. If you were to talk about him, of course, he was the victim. He'd become a secret lover; the forbidden fruit.
When you didn't reply, he nodded, his hand falling off your shoulder. “I understand.”
“Baekhyun, let's talk about this step by step,” you tried, reaching for his hand which he, thankfully, didn't retreat. “We still have a long time until any of those things could even happen. Maybe it won't happen - and I will try my best not to let it happen. But let it not affect our present. Please,” you added with urgency, looking into his warm eyes.
When Baekhyun was troubled or sad, his eyes seemed to become even more down-ward than they already were. This time, it was no exception and you wanted to reach out and make the wrinkles go away but you didn't. “Let me just think this matter through, alright?” he murmured eventually.
You pressed your lips together and nodded while you stepped close to him, snaking your arms around his waist. He gladly took you in, letting out a deep sigh as he hugged you to him and kissed the top of your head. “It will be okay.”
“May I sleep at yours tonight?” you mumbled into his shoulder after a moment of silence. “I just cannot imagine going back to that hell.”
He rubbed your back gently. “Of course. My mum is already expecting us. We shouldn't disappoint her.”
You leaned back a bit and stood on your toes to press your lips to his. “You're the best.”
And so, after walking a little bit longer and enjoying the faraway noise of the busy roads and nightlife Seoul, you slowly made your way back to the metro station, heading for Baekhyun's house, and your safety.
The both of you were lying on his bed, his parents long asleep, the quietness of the apartment giving you a sense of safeness. Baekhyun had a book open on his lap while you were doodling something you weren’t sure what was yet. Manual work seemed to preoccupy your mind enough and sadly, even with Baekhyun next to you, you couldn’t find your peace of mind.
“Aren’t you tired yet?” whispered Baekhyun and looked at you, and on the paper to see what you were so focused on. “It’s already 1am. Your parents will want you home early-“
Your sigh interrupted him and you put down the pencil rather harshly as you sat up properly to face him. “Since when do you care about them? You know I will go home whenever I want to. I don’t care, so you shouldn’t either.”
“I don’t want you to get into trouble, okay?” he said back, his voice quiet but low. “There has been enough drama.”
“What worse can happen? They want me to let go of you. That is the worst punishment for me.”
Baekhyun’s gaze softened and he also sat up properly to face you. “I know. I can’t lose you either. And I wasn’t intending on that. I meant that they might lock you up and then I won’t be able to see you so soon, hm?” he murmured gently, his lips puckering with each word as he reached out with his hand to caress your cheek. You leaned into his touch right away. “I want to enjoy what we have now.”
You smiled gently when you recognized your previously uttered words and grabbed his hand that was cradling your cheek. “You know I would sneak out just to meet you if I were to be locked up.”
He rewarded you with a lopsided, handsome smile. “You shouldn’t, you little devil.”
You sighed and shimmied yourself closer until your knees were touching his. “Kiss me,” you whispered breathily, already eyeing his lips.
He observed you a little longer before his eyes dropped on yours. Softly smiling, he leaned in, now both of his hands on your neck to angle your face. The softest of touches was what you felt first before he pressed his lips harsher, moving his mouth against yours. Your hands snaked around his neck to urge him on while he opened your mouth and invited himself in. Without meaning to, you let out a satisfied hum that seemed to ignite Baekhyun because he pressed harder, slowly making you fall back on your back, head on the pillows.
He grunted as you spread your legs so he could settle himself there as your kiss grew dirtier, all tongues and teeth, battling for dominance. Your fingers were messing up his hair while his hands were touching you over the fabric of his pyjamas.
It was your whines and a couple of pulls on the hem of his shirt that made Baekhyun lean back so that you could undress in haste, both of you eager and very much horny. Finally feeling the hot skin of his chest press up against yours he was too eager and he already lined himself up at your center, needing the release without any foreplay.
“Just keep quiet, alright?” he reminded softly into your ear under which he placed the softest kiss before he started pushing in, your mouth falling open, but your juices doing a good enough job for his easy access.
You gasped rather loudly and he silenced you with a messy kiss, interrupting it with harsh pants on your mouth as his eyes were closed in focus, his forehead pressed against yours. You panted and tilted your head to chase his parted lips while he pushed himself in all the way, reaching the stillness that you very much needed.
Unable to take the pain, your eyes were squeezed shut, scratching Baekhyun’s back while the other hand fisted his blanket.
“Just a little longer,” Baekhyun whispered urgently, lips against your forehead, repeatedly puckering them in tiny butterfly kisses. “The pain will be all gone, I promise. I’ll make you feel like no one on this planet.” He moved the slightest bit, the friction making him hide his face in your neck and mouth at the skin.
Your heaving chest was pressing up against his and with his next movement, you felt the tingles of pleasure that he promised you just heartbeats ago. Giving Baekhyun the sign to move, he started rocking, already setting up a faster pace for he couldn’t wait any longer. Your influence on him was too strong, his emotions for you too overwhelming. In his eyes, you were so sexy, beautiful, sensitive, and absolutely alluring. It would be brutal if he had to hold back while having you underneath him.
Who did he try to lie to? He went absolutely crazy at the idea of him having to leave you for another man; some old dude who didn’t even know you. It might have been the reason why he grew relentless, pushing you into his mattress and snapping his hips, your face of pure ecstasy only fueling his passionate drive. He hated the entire situation. He didn’t want to share you. He never wanted to have a secret relationship with you. If he imagined a future, besides him becoming a doctor, it was your presence next to his the entire time.
Baekhyun was never one to be aggressive and stubbornly go against every rule, unlike you. In your relationship, he was the cold-headed one, the peace-maker, always fighting for what the brain said instead of the heart.
But right now, his heart was in despair, already feeling the beginning of a heart break. He thrusted into you with such passion you really couldn't contain your moans and he wasn’t sure he wanted you to keep quiet anymore. Let everyone know that you belonged to him.
He bit your skin just under your collarbones, tasting the sweat, and you gasped, fisting his hair which prompted him to grunt and reach your g-spot.
“Cum for me,” he whispered harshly, biting you again and then moving his face to push his tongue into your open mouth. “Cum for me and say my name.”
He didn’t have to tell you as you were already panting his name like a mantra that would bring you to heaven. Your walls were pleasurably stretched out, the throaty sounds he made bringing you over the edge. He followed soon after your breathy moans and your arching back that caused your breasts to press to his sweaty chest made him lose it.
His arms snaked in the space between your back and the mattress and he squeezed your body to him, hiding his face in your breasts that he mouthed and licked at sensually while feeling himself release.
With one last bite to your sensitive nipple, he moved to kiss you, your tired smile welcoming him. “I love you.”
You combed his hair away from his damp forehead. “I love you more.” But please don't leave me.
--
CuriousCat
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warnings: SMUT, oral (both m/f receiving but m more than f), unprotected sex, language, isn't really a warning but i'm making a part two to this that will be shorter and idk when it will be out.
paring: akaashi keiji x fem!reader
A/n: hii i haven't written anything on here like this before so i hope you like it and feedback would be great or any tips for my writing
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you on your way to the new apartment that your looking at moving in to meet your roommate. you've been looking for a place to move into scene you can't live in a hotel and your parents don't want you living with them now that your in college and dorms where to much monye. being beyond excited about this, like come on 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment that has everything you need and only $300 a month? can't get better than that.
but little did you know you'd be getting a new best friend with benefits.
when you got to the apartment was clean and smelled like? cotton candy? there was a big couch, with a tv in front of it. there's a good sized kitchen with an island.
"so thats my room and that would be your room" he points to the 2 doors, and one is open with you assume is his because the room is somewhat decorated.
"so where's the bathroom?" you ask opening the bedroom door. looking around. there's one two doors in the room next to each other.
"ya one down side is the bathroom is connected between our rooms, and there's no other way to get into it." Akaashi opened one of the 2 doors and there was a bathroom with a shower that takes up one side and the other had a counter and a toilet next to it.
"oh ok" you opened the other door and it's a closet, "i like this place and it's only $300 a month?" you asked looking at Akaashi as he nodded and gives a little yep.
you signed some papers and on you where to moving you shiz in here. Akaashi offered to help move your stuff over and you agreed and the 2 over you headed over your your parents house.
that's was it within 5 hours all your stuff was in your new shared apartment. the house itself was amazing but akaashi was another bonus, tall, nice, respectful, strong, and unbelievably cute and hot.
"un going to order some take out you want some?" he offers as you were organizing your new room.
"um ya sure" you agree and go to grab your wallet but Akaashi stopped you saying he's paying. you tell him what you want trying to keep it cheap.
when he got ack with the food he put it on the coffee table and pulled it closer to the couch. "oh ya i didn't feel a need to have a dining table because i've always watched tv when eating, it's that ok?" he almost looked embarrassed.
"ya ya thats ok dont worry" you fell back onto the couch next to him and turned on the tv. you guys were just eating and getting to know each other
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you and Akaashi have lived together for about 6 months now and without a doubt you have a thing for him. you can't help but let your eyes wanted his body whenever her comes out of his room with some lose sweatpants and no shirt. you could look at him and tell he was an athlete.
every night you two sat on the couch and ate dinner with each other and tonight your gonna try and make a move. you made home made pizza and put the 2 pizzas you made on the coffee table.
"we should watch a horror movie tonight" you said with a smirk on your face. Akaashi look a little surprised because he didn't think you where one for scary movies but he would never turn down a horror movie so he agreed.
he picked the movie and you went to change. you changed into shorts that barely covers your ass, and a cropped tank top. you walked out and dropped your phone, you'd like to say on purpose but it was a accident. but you took advantage of it and bent over in front of Akaashi.
"sorry," you apologize and try your hardest to just give a small smile. you sat a little closer than you normally do. he never questioned your outfit choice because it was a hot due to the broken AC that your waiting to get money too fix. and to be far he was in nothing but some gym shorts and a thin tank top.
you two ate and watch the movie. you started moving closer to him so you where touching his arm. the window was open and a cold breeze came through, so you grabbed a blanket and put it over yourself but Akaashi took some of it and threw it over his legs, throwing his arm over your shoulder pulling your closer.
after about 5 mins you shyly placed your hand in his thigh and he let out a giggle. you could feel his breath on your neck and behind your ear.
"your not that sneaky honey, i know exactly what your trying to do" Akaashi's breath was hot against your skin and his words make your breath get stuck in your throat
"w-what do you mean?" you try playing stupid. "you want me to fuck you dont you? your plan was to turn me on with that little out fit and then bending over in front of me. now putting you hand on your thigh."
you swallow thickly and tried to talk but was cut off
"well your little plan kinda worked. because you do look hella cute in this." Akaashi turned you around and pulled you on to him lap with one swift motion. "know tell me, am i right? you were trying to make me want you?"
you gave a little nod and when you tried to move in to a more comfortable position you felt his semi-hard length on your clothed cunt.
"use your word." his voice was stern and deep. you managed a small "y-yes" out of your throat and you bit your lip. Akaashi smirked and started kissing your neck.
" it was obvious you had a thing for me after like 2 months of you living with me, but i don't mind this" he said against your neck in between kisses. he started sucking softly leaving small red circles on your neck that would be gone by the time you go to sleep.
he hit a soft spot which made you moan a little, encouraging him to suck and bit around that area. you subconsciously started grinding your hips down on to his.
"oo so eager are we?" he asked and let out a small laugh before putting his hands under your shirt. his eyes ask if he can take it off and you give a nod before he threw the shirt across the room.
you started kissing his neck and the grinding of your hips for faster making him hiss a little. you started tugging at his tank top before taking to off him. he unclips your bra and takes it off in seconds, his mouth finding your nipple he started kissing and sucking on it.
he tugged on your shorts and you took those off along with your underwear and he took off his shorts so he was in boxers. you slid off the couch and in between his legs on your knees.
"can i?" you asked hooking your finger around the hem of the boxers on him. he nodded and put his hips up so you could slip them off easily. his cock swung against his stomach and you couldn't wait to feel how heavy he is in your mouth.
you grabbed his cock and wrapped your hand around him. taking a finger from your other hand you pick up the bead of pre cum on the tip of your finger and licked it. your eyes could have rolled to the back of your head just from the taste of him.
you wasted no time putting him in your mouth. he was so heavy on your tongue, but you swirl your tongue around his tip and sucked a little before pushing almost all of him your into mouth in one go. he touched the back of your throat making him throw his head back and let out a short sting of moans. he grabs your hair into a ponytail as you started to set your pace.
"ahh- fuck im gonna come" he warned trying to pull out but you pushed your head down farther and squeezed his balls a little and he came in your mouth.
you looked up at him and swallowed all his seed. you got back up of the couch, straddling his leg and kissed his deeply so he could taste himself on you. he grabbed the back of your head and pushed you closer to him.
his hand creeped between your legs and started playing with your clit making you moan against his lips. he dipped a finger in to your dripping cunt and put his finger in his mouth.
"fuck you are so wet, you liked sucking me off didn't you?" he asked and got a cocky smile. you started grinding against his cock thats now hard again.
"you want me inside you?" he whispered into your ear, in which you nodded as a response. he let out a small chuckle and lifted you up and guided himself in you.
you let out a moan as you slid down his shaft and after you agusted it his size he started bouncing you on his dick. "n-never did i think i-id be fucking you o-on the couch" Akaashi struggled to say between grunts and shaky breaths.
"mm nether did i- ahh fuck right there!" you threw your head back has he hit that soft spot in you. Akaashi adjusted his position under you so he could hold you up and pound into you.
his thrust where sharp and fast. you were so close to your release your eyes started watering because how hard he was going somewhat hurt but the pleasure of your orgasim hit you as you clenched around his cock making him come at the same time.
"ahh damnn fuckk- oh my god" you both stammered out as both of you where trying to come down from your high. after Akaashi got a hold of his breath he got up bringing you with him to his bedroom.
"i hope your ready for more." Akaashi breathed in your ear. he was still half way in you and you tried to move on him but you couldn't. so you started kissing on his neck.
he threw you on his bed and grabbed a tie off his chair. he grabbed your wrist and kissed them before flipping you on your hands and knees pulling a little yelp from you. he tried your wrist together then spread thighs apart.
"you know you have such a pretty pussy, 'm kinda bummed i didn't get to taste it before i came in you,- but now- i came taste myself on you with i like to." his lewd words made you arch your back just a enough he had better access to your throbbing pussy.
he licked a long stripe against your folds, dipping his tongue in you to catch some of his cum on his tongue. after getting his seed on his tongue he licked up your back leaving goosebumps behind.
he quickly returned to your exposed cunt giving it kisses and licking down to your clit to circle his tongue around. damn he was good with his mouth because it didn't take long before you were ready to fall apart and come undone.
"f-fuck akaash im close mm~" you moan as you open your legs more but he stopped. he started kissing and sucking on the back of your thigh and up your ass. before you could look back at him he slammed himself into you.
his pace was ruthless, and the power he had behind his hips was crazy. you were amazed by how loud you were being. all that came out of your mouth was broken moans and slobber collecting on his bed sheets. the new position aloud you to feel every vein and curve of his dick.
he slowed down the pace to where he was barely moving, just grinding his hip into yours.
"f- faster" was all you could utter due to your fizzy head. Akaashi bent over your back to whisper in your ear "come on now, your gonna have to beg for me to go faster darling. but god your pussy is so comfortable" he kissed your neck.
"come on please keiji please go faster i need you" you wine throwing your head back, your turned your head around to look at him. god he was beautiful with his cock lazily moving in and out of you and his shit eating grin on his perfect face.
he reagusted himself and pushed your back down, making you arch it more. the arch was a little uncomfortable but it was long forgotten when your roommate started pounding in to you. after he had a steady pace set you couldn't even make any noise, no moans no nothing. all you could do was sit there and roll your eyes to your brain as Akaashi abused your organs.
"this what you were begging me for right?" keiji bent over you, his sweaty chest on your back as he started kissing and biting at your neck. "you where being such a slut earlier, where did all the big talk go uh?" he taunted you. he moved his hand down to your clit and started rubbing harsh circles around the nevres.
"ah- kashi- t-to much" you wine and wrinkle your face. your lower half burnt so bad but it felt so fucking good. you needed to cum.
"shut up and take it whore." he grabbed your hits for leverage as he pounded into you harders and reassessed for the last time, this time hitting the soft spot that makes you cum every time without fail, over , over and over again.
"'m cl'close, mmm right there f-uck you feel so good" you moan and shoved your head into the bed. you were embarrassed by how you said those kinds of things to him without even thinking, you have never in your life said things like that.
meanwhile when your being embarrassed Akaashi is making it his mission to making you come again. he snuck his hand down your front and to your clit making soft movements. you started moving your hips to meet his and you felt the buildup of pleasure burst inside you. Akaashi growled as you tightened around him.
"mmm god fuck 'm close baby" he actually moaned throwing his head back. his thrust where hard short and fast but it only lasted for 30 secs before he was shooting his seed in you.
he flopped over next to you, trying to calm his breath. he pulled you on to his so that you were laying on his side with your head on his chest. wrapping his arms around you he kissed your head.
out of nowhere he shot up and started carrying you into the bathroom and started filling the bath.
"uh what are you doing?" you asked with a small confused smile. he turned around and looked at you confused "um in cleaning you up, that's what guys normally do after sex" he kissed your cheek and lowed you into the water then sitting behind you.
"oh, no one has done this before" you said looked and playing the the water.
Akaashi wrapped his arms around you resting his chin on your shoulder "well then i think those guys are shitty and don't know how to treat a woman good" you turned around and looked at him with a small smile.
grabbing some soap and a washcloth Akaashi clean you head to toe, making sure not to get any in you when watching his cum out of you. "i don't think i have to take the cum out but i always get worried you'll get pregnant for an infection if i don't" he whispered into your ear and kissed your jaw.
when he was dont rinsing you off he grabbed a towel and dried you off. he gave you one of his tee shirts and threw on some boxers before laying down, and pulling you into the same position but with your legs in between his.
"hey, i just want you to know that nothing has to be weird between up after this but just know, um i like you a lot" Akaashi whispered to you but was looking a way trying to avoid eye contact.
"i love you.."
"i love you too y/n"
#akaashi smut#akaashi x y/n#akaashi keji x reader#smut#akaashi haikyuu#im a shit person#im also a shit writer i know#keiji akaashi#akaashi#haikyu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu smut
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Notion - BASIC and EASY Note taking system FOR STUDENTS
Hello everyone!
I hope you are well!
For this weeks #Microbiologynerddweeklytips post, I shall be sharing my university note taking and organisation system using Notion.
I have been using Notion for roughly 1 year, and have used it to organise my second year university studies, in addition to my voluntary position as the VP of my society.
So below is a very BASIC and EASY to use format you could adapt for yourselves! Enjoy😊
Contents
As a directory to everything I need at university, I have a contents page. Here I have each of my modules, as though they were chapters of a book. Each leading to a separate page of their own.
After this I have the required ‘modules’ for my placement year. I have arranged this slightly differently to my regular university notes - more details on this later.
Below this you can find pages for my summer microtalks hosted by SFAM. I attend these weekly and make notes in that subsection.
And finally I have a section for Taekwondo, to organise tasks I have to complete as the VP of Taekwondo.
Module pages:
So i have tested 2 different methods for module layout, each only having a slight twist.
- Please click the photos to enlarge -
In the photos above, I visualise the 2 different systems. Each of the systems involves having a new cell per lecture. However, in the first 2 photos (from left to right) I have separate pages for my lectures vs my lab notes. Whereas on the right, I have my lectures, labs, extra reading and questions all formulated into one table. Clicking the See All button at the top left of the table, above the search bar, you can choose to view classes by type i.e. just see my lectures or just see my lab notes for example.
The second system I have found works best, otherwise you are just clicking too many buttons to get to the area you need. However, in future I shall implement the ‘breadcrumb’ at the top the page, like i did with the first and second photos. (Breadcrumb = univeristy/ BMS2037:cellu../lecture below the page titles). Breadcrumbs make it easier to shift between pages instead of clicking the back button all the time. They are essientally hyperlinks to other pages.
Tip: to insert a breadcrumb simply put /breadcrumb and a breadcrumb will appear. This works for anything you are trying to insert e.g. a table
You can also choose to insert materials e.g. any lecture slides or resources you used within that lecture. Personally I dont find this helpful, as our VLE is clearly laid out with our lectures. But it might be something worth trying, as you can also insert pictures or any sort of media you require.
I also use the tick box function to keep track of whether I have written the lecture into Anki cards (flashcards)/ attended the lecture.
Side note: Please ignore my spelling/ how I label lectures, they make sense to me, they dont need to be 100% correct - right?
Internship/Placement Page:
I have recently been dabbling in the layout I would like to use for my internship year, however, I shall update you at a later date with any additional details, as due to COVID-19 the formate of the year and my assessments has changed. I also will find out more when I start my internship... which is soon - yay!
I’ve decided to have reminders at the top, which I inserted using /callout - you can change the emoji to anything you would like. This is for me to know instantly any important documents or tasks that I need to complete.
The external work to that provided by my internship is included in the table. This is essientally the coursework I have to complete on the side of the placement. Here i decided to note the deadlines and percentage of the year that it is worth. This is just to help me grasp the format of this year, since as mentioned above, it is slightly different.
Underneath this I have a selection of details to do with the company. This includes my acceptance letter and any insurance forms I need to send off. I just wanted to have them at hand so i can reference them at any time.
Summer 2020/Taekwondo pages:
These pages I format the same as the ‘Module’ Pages, so I haven’t included any pictures etc.
Miscellaneous things:
- NOTION IS FREE FOR STUDENTS - if you have an educational email, you can sign up for free! If not, packages start at $4 a month, which isn’t too bad for something you use frequently!
- This service is avaliable on tablets and computers, so anyone can take advantage of this organisational software!
- You can change the cover and icon at the top of each page. They include emojis and a standard image database, but you can also upload your own unique images if you desire.
- There are also template designs for pages, with different themes for different needs. So if you don’t want to start one from scratch you have lots of options to choose from. Use those as a base and edit them from there! For example, there are calendars, habit trackers, resume trackers and whole load of other things.
- Using a device for notes, such as notion, allows you access to any notes you have made at ease. It is organised, and you are unlikely to lose your notes. Paper is great until you scrunch up that important sheet, or it rains and the paper gets wet, or you are carrying every single note you have ever made - that can become heavy. Just something to bear in mind, especially if you can afford a laptop/ note taking device of some kind.
- You can create multiple pages for different aspects of your life (photo below). For example I have 2 additional pages, 1 for personal things and another for blog post ideas - to keep you guys entertained... haha! 😆
Conclusion :
What I have shared here is a very BASIC overview of how I use notion. If you desire a detailed in depth report of how notion works, it might be worth checking out Ali Abdaal, who can give you this information. As for me and what I require from the service, Notion has been working really well, keeping me organised with all my notes in one area. Knowing what I am doing, when, and being able to keep up with the speed of lectures - considering my writing speed is questionable. 😂
When you first download notion and look at all the templates, it can be a bit overwhelming/ exciting. Start with what you need, and then explore new ideas that you want to incorporate. There is no point setting up hundreds of pages if you aren’t going to use them, just like writing out pretty notes doesnt help you learn content - but more about that in a future post. Start small, being organised involves consistency, you can’t be consistent if you have given yourself too many things to do daily. Or at least you are unlikely to be.
One word of warning, Notion is not compatible with the Apple Pencil, so if you like writing notes on your iPad, this may not be the best software for you. As well as this, if you are a faster writer than you are typer, DO NOT USE NOTION. The whole basis of this app or at least how I use it, is to stay organised and write notes productively and efficiently. If you prefer writing, keep at it! Don’t just switch because suddenly you hear lots of tapping on keyboards in the lecture theatre.
Play to YOUR STRENGTHS , enhance what you are good at, not what everyone else is doing. As always, you’ve got this 💪
Let me know if you have any questions, or whether you’d like any further posts/details about my notion workflow. I’m happy to answer any queries you have.
Speak soon,
Lucinda x
#microbiologynerddweeklytips#new studyblr#newstudyblr#studyblr#student#studyspo#motivation#notion#note taking#organization#microbiology#bioscience#summer2020#summer studying#student advice#study tips#student to student#top tips#student blog#workflow#efficent learning#university
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Hello, Sam!
I have just started reading your series Moments in Time that I saw Breanie recommended and I must say, it is absolutely wonderful so far!
Croup: This was not at all what I expected! I stumbled across this universe recommended on Breanie’s tumblr and thought I better start in order. PUH-Tunia really is a bitch! You can just see the abuse already inflicted on him and he’s only three! The mental anguish of a three year old being told he can’t have nice things because he breaks them can’t have been good for poor Harry! No wonder’s so unsure of everything later on. Yelling at him because he’s sick like it’s his fault! Im surprised she even gave him medicine! Wanting him to sleep outside in the “frigid air” and only deciding not to because the neighbours might see really says a lot about her personality. Ive never read anything from Petunia’s point of view before but well done. I hate her even more than before. I look forward to following this new adventure that is your moments in time universe. Great read!
The Boggart of Grimmauld Place: This was just so heartwarming! Harry getting to spend even a little time with Remus and Sirius at Grimmauld Place was what was missing from canon. Memories of his grandparents, learning about them. It was just lovely! When Harry is ashamed of wanting Sirius to embrace him a little longer my heart ached for that poor boy who never got to feel real hugs and affection. He thinks he should be ashamed for wanting to feel it and he shouldnt! I blame for petunia for that. I meant to say that in Croup how she touched his forehead to check for a fever and he flinched like he’d been expecting her to hit him. Poor poor little Harry. I love how you play on the connection here between Harry and Sirius and even parallel it to the Potters and Weasleys. Harry being surprised that he would be in Sirius’ will at all. Harry just being surprised that people care about him. Makes me want to just give him a hug! What abeautiful story! Thank you.
Hide and Seek: This was so fun! I love the thought of them all playing hide and seek in Grimmauld Place and everyone joining in! Remus and Tonks making out in the cupboard was the best! It was definitely my favourite part and Sirius just teasing them! Hermione thinking something happened between Harry and Ginny. I loved how Harry opened up a little to Ginny. You could see he was actually really comfortable with her in a way he’s not with people. Absently massaging her wrist, touching her. He was caught up in her without realizing he was caught up in her. Adorable! The second addition was wonderful! I love how Ginny just took control, loosening his tie, taking off his jumper… they are the superior couple! While I am a tad disappointed to not see them making out at the end, I loved this story. Thank you.
Seventeen: Wow! This was a story I didn’t know I needed. Harry and Ron lovingly admitting they’re brothers warms my soul. I love that touch of giving them matching watches! Was that canon? If not it should be. Mrs weasley feeling guilty over Sirius is so like her. She loves and cares for Harry as if he’s her own son and it’s wonderful to see. The last bit with Ginny was perfect! They definitely had to do more than the uninterrupted kiss and I love how Harry just basked in her. The end made me so sad! His heart breaking over missing her birthday, lost opportunities. Very beautifully done! These one-shots are amazing and I look forward to reading more of them. Thank you.
The Demise of Walburga Black: This was absolutely amazing! The image you crafted of them laughing like lunatics as they destroyed her portrait was awesome! What I like most so far about your writing is how you gently weave in Harry’s relationship with the Weasleys. I love the idea of George moving in with him and Ron, that Harry would offer his home to him like that. I love that Harry goes to Mr Weasley for renovation advice. I think its so hot that Harry would renovate the Muggle way (so sexy to see men in a tool belt and I’m going to assume he’s shirtless and sweaty). I love that it was Angelina’s idea and how you casually had Ron toss in that George and Angelina were already sleeping together. George not really being drunk, is that because he drank a lot to cope with Fred’s death? I think it is. Harry’s reaction to being caught by Mrs Weasley, how his guilt eases into pleasure that Mrs Weasley would call both himself and Ron George’s “younger brothers” and his glee in being lectured by her in a motherly fashion. And dont even get me started on the scene with Ginny! The way he gushed on his drunken ramblings about making a home with her and wanting to raise a family and her not wanting to get her hopes up because he’s so drunk! I laughed out loud when Harry said that drunk Harry wants to do dirtier things with her or something like that. Just wonderful all around! Where’s Teddy in this story? I know he lives with Andromeda in canon but I thought I read that you have Harry raising him. Ah well, maybe the next tale will answer that question! Thank you.
That’s all I’ve had time to read so far, but I just wanted to say thank you for writing such a rich and vast universe! I can definitely see why Breanie recommends you so much! I have a few questions if you don’t mind.
1) What made you decide to write a story about Harry’s early childhood from the point of view of Petunia instead of Harry?
2) Do you think Petunia and Vernon physically abused Harry when he was little? It’s fairly obvious he had psychological abuse, but do you think there was more?
3) Do you think Ron and Hermione knew Harry had never played childish games like hide and seek as a child? Do you think the others knew and that’s why they all agreed to join in?
4) When do you think Harry actually started to notice Ginny? Was it in his fifth year and he just didn’t realize or do you think it was later? There is the scene where she puts him in his place over the possession bit and of course when they get kicked out of the library together. What are your thoughts?
5) Was it canon that Ron and Harry have the watches of Mrs Weasley’s brothers?
6) Do you believe George could handle his alcohol better because of his age or were you insinuating he had become accustomed to the drink after losing Fred?
7) Where is Teddy when Harry lives at Grimmauld Place? From the summaries of your stories I got the impression Harry raised him. But I haven’t read any further so I may be wrong.
Sorry for so many questions, but I am curious. I look forward to reading more. Thank you for your time. You’re amazing and I love your work! Thank you.
I have been following your review journey and getting more and more excited the further you get into the universe!! I am going to try my damndest to answer all these asks you’ve sent today but I have an incredibly busy weekend, so it may take me a little bit to answer them all especially if you’re asking specific questions since I won’t have access to my computer a lot. So, I will answer all your asks, but give me the weekend because I want to give you the best and most detailed answers I can!
1.) Honestly, Croup and Brontide (I promise, no spoilers) are the reason I started this as a series. I mentioned Harry had croup a lot as a child in Brontide and then wanted to write a companion piece. I thought, what better way to demonstrate Harry’s childhood then telling a story through Petunia’s POv because she’s absolutely horrible. Plus, I didn’t think I could get into the mindset of any other POV for that story.
2.) I definitely think there was physical abuse as well. It’s indicated in the books (Harry knowing to dodge away from a frying pan or something). So, I do feel they did physically abuse him as well. He has a few scars to show from it.
3.) No, I don’t think they knew. Maybe some suspected it but not know. I think everyone was just sick of cleaning Grimmauld Place and wanted to do something fun. It didn’t matter it was a child’s game. They just wanted something to do.
4.) I think he started to like Ginny as a friend in fifth year. I think he started to notice her as someone more than just Ron’s little sister. I don’t even think he noticed how he felt comfortable around her in fifth year either. I like to think all the dots started to connect earlier than 6th year but Harry just didn’t know what it all meant. Then 6th year come and he’s like crap… I really her! But it was building, unknowingly, to Harry before then. Ginny had been slowly forming into her own person in Harry’s mind and he felt comfortable and liked what he saw. He just didn’t connect it romantically at that time.
5.) No, the watches isn’t canon. I wish it was though. Honestly, when I wrote it, I totally forgot they mentioned Ron getting a brand new watch in canon until months after I wrote the story.
6.) George was a bit of an alcoholic after the war. It’s mentioned more in-depth in Brontide. But he definitely held his alcohol better because he has been spiraling into alcohol abuse for months by that point.
7.) So, again it’s mentioned in Brontide, but Teddy lived with Andromeda for the first year of his life before Harry gained custody of him. Andromeda didn’t feel comfortable with Harry raising Teddy at first. Once she got to know him and see how much Harry cared for Teddy, she handed over custody to Harry so that Teddy could live a more normal life and have parents and siblings.
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Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Intense Years)
Tony Stark x daughter!reader
warnings:
a/n: y/n is 16-17, also ive really never written anything about team iron man so this was weird, someone needs to tell me i dont need every single movie detail in here
prompt: takes place from cacw and smhc
The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Aftermath (4) Continued (5)
after the events in sokovia, you set up the relief fund for displaced sokovians and dealt with physical clean up while the avengers...
well, they had to deal with the press—and the governments of the world
getting to know your new suit AI, JOSHUA
briefly looking for bruce; no luck there
you ended up doing the MIT september foundation presentation with tony
and ending the presentation after pepper’s name popped up on the screen
“it’s probably best we get out of here”
you were his entire support system while he was going through his break with pepper
meeting charles spencer’s mother, who really gave your dad a piece of her mind
“my son died, but your daughter gets to live on. if you lost her, maybe you’d show some sympathy for murdering my child”
*awkward silence from you*
*awkward silence from tony otw to the compound*
HATING the sound of the sokovia accords, yet understanding why they’re being ratified
being torn between signing them or not and having a huge argument with the other avengers
“y/n, why dont you listen to your dad for once and sign the damn thing”
“uncle rhodey, you know why i dont want to sign. if they have us, they have access to our suits. you really think the UN should be telling us how to use them?”
“your defense doesn’t even make sense. i had the war machine or iron patriot or whatever the hell you want to call it, but the military was calling the shots”
“and look where you are now”
“right, well i wouldn’t expect a kid to understand”
“are you kidding me, rhodes? you’re gonna play the ‘im older than you’ card?”
comforting wanda while she feared being taken
and as soon as you heard about what happened in lagos
“think about it, maximoff. if you didnt do what you did, do you know how many more casualties there may have been?”
“but i killed innocents”
“no, rumlow killed innocents. you contained that blast better than anyone else could have and you prevented a whole bunch of deaths, give yourself some credit”
okay, so you weren’t the best at talking someone down while they were upset
staying in berlin with your father while the whole bucky thing began to get sorted out
but he sent you out to stay with nat while he had some “private time” with steve
tony keeping you close to him during the power outage at the base
until it turned out you brought your suit and tony did not!
everyone was looking at you to take down bucky, but it just seemed like a bad idea, you didn’t want to hurt him because you didn’t want to hurt steve
stalling to try and buy steve time to subdue his friend
“y/n, come on, for christ sake!”
“got it, dad! i know what im doing!”
“i dont think you do!”
feeling your stomach drop when bucky shot into your dad’s hand, if it wasn’t for his latest invention, he may have gotten seriously hurt
you had a slight change of heart after that, you couldn’t bare to lose your dad. not after all those close calls...
getting yelled at by secretary ross and the wonderful 36 hour ultimatum you, nat, and tony received
“i have a plan”
“don’t say the spider boy”
“fine, i wont say it”
a nice trip to queens :)
when this parker kid finally got home, tony left you to socialize with his aunt
small talk is sometimes unbearable
“so, what’s it like being tony stark’s daughter?”
“honestly? im always tired”
peter becoming a tagalong on your mission, which you didn’t really think was appropriate
“dad, i dont really think we should’ve brought the kid...”
“why? you’re about the same age as him, its not much different”
“um...no, i meant this isnt his battle. i don’t care how old he is”
face off between tony and cap where you literally just swallowed all your pride and apologized because you couldn’t handle the fact that the team was being ripped apart like this
team ups with Spider-Man
“so, uh, do you hate me or something?”
“hey, kid? we’re kind of in the middle of something, i’ll get back to you on that”
“it’s a yes or no question, y/n”
“pass”
so, things didn’t exactly go as planned...
your (former) teammates were taken to the RAFT and you couldn’t pull it together in front of them
they were pretty pissed at you
“im sorry, im so sorry, i should’ve done better”
they ignored you (up until scott lang)
“all you stark’s are the same”
“stay out of this, bugboy”
taking to the remote hydra base in another famous father/daughter teamup
“just like the old days, right kiddo?”
“i guess so”
“hey, cheer up, it’s not all that bad”
waltzing right in there to meet your friend and foe
seeing the video of your grandparents dying
*being killed
absolutely stunned by seeing such a gruesome thing
even after all you’ve seen, this really got to you
you were robbed of ever meeting them, which made you angry, but you couldn’t stay angry because there were so many things out of everyones control
realizing that this was a good time to hold tony back
“JOSHUA, lock down y/n’s suit. protocol: baby gate”
apparently your dad still had some old protocols in your suit that you hadn’t found yet
“JOSHUA? reboot! override protocol: baby gate”
“i’m sorry, miss y/n, but i cannot do that”
watching your father attempt to get revenge
and get critically injured
simultaneously working on opening the suit back up for a bad plan
finally getting the emergency release and stumbling out of your suit, rushing towards the conflict and throwing yourself in the middle of it
“please, dad. enough damage has been done.”
“y/n, get out of the way”
he saw you shaking and crying and he realized what he was doing
attacking the only family you guys really had
getting shoved out of the way so that they could end this fight once and for all
JOSHUA finally rebooting and bringing the suit over to shield you while you helplessly watched the end of this fight
when bucky and steve left, your suit disarmed and you crouched down beside your father
“come on, let’s just go home”
“im sorry”
“i know, it’s okay”
trying to comfort your dad after his defeat
you picked up cap’s shield and returned to your suit, it was time to go home
after a brief time of recovery (while you helped work on uncle rhodey’s prototype prosthetics), there was a slight change of plans for you
“okay, so for your punishment after what you pulled during my...divorce with cap, you’re going to babysit the spiderling so you gain some perspective”
“hold on, what?! what do you mean ‘perspective?’”
“i mean you dont know what it’s like to be in charge of the life of a teenager, so now you get to find out! congratulations on your promotion!”
it was not fun at all because peter kept blowing up your phone and you kept having to tell him there was nothing for him to do
Y/N: I’ll let you know when there’s a spider-level threat, kapeesh?
P. Parker: Yes, ma’am, sorry.
peter going behind your back to do some “superhero work”
and you having to swoop in to fix everything last second
“come on, you stole my thunder, y/n!”
“no, peter, i saved your life. next time you have a lead, call me first”
and then he didn’t 😌✨💕
“Y/N, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”
“put him through, JOSHIE...hey dad, how’s dubai?”
“taking care of a kid is harder than it looks, isn’t it?”
“don’t start with me”
damage control ahahah 🤡
“peter, why cant you just call me in? you don’t stop texting me for months but for this you go radio silent? you almost died. and you put a bunch of lives in danger! do you want me to have to go to your aunt and tell her you died?”
“im sorry! i just...i dont want to be a sidekick”
“kid, you’re gonna have a long time to make a name for yourself...but not if you’re dead!”
he started crying and you were very uncomfortable so you tried to hug him? it helped.
letting him off easy (just like your dad did to you growing up)
but apparently tony came back and took the suit anyways and you were pretty pissed about it
avengers moving day :) yes, part of your punishment was helping happy with moving day and hearing him gush about how you were “growing into such a responsible adult”
“happy i dont know if you noticed but ive basically been an adult since i was 12”
“keep telling yourself that, kiddo”
seeing an explosion and immediately knowing it was peter
“i’ll see you later, happy, love you!”
investigating the crash site and whaddaya know, there’s peter and his first bad guy, you were kind of proud
“peter, you okay?”
“nope!”
“okay, cool”
more damage control lmao (a/n: yall sick of damage control yet?)
a congratulatory call from your dad
“hey! you did pretty good, all things considered. why don’t you take the kid to the avengers compound for his special surprise?”
“aye aye, see you soon.”
“love you, kiddo”
“you too, dad”
quick fast forward to peter rejecting the position as an avenger while the press was outside, yes, you were surprised
but then your dad finally proposed to pepper, it was a pretty cool engagement announcement
“y/n, will you be my maid of honor?”
“duh!”
happily ever after (a/n: until the next part is up)
#tony stark x daughter!reader#tony stark imagine#tony stark x reader#tony stark#iron man x daughter!reader#iron man imagine#iron man x reader#iron man#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#avengers x reader#avengers imagine#avengers#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#peter parker x stark!reader#spiderman#spiderman x reader#spiderman imagine
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Caius Volturi x reader
Prompts
Request: "Random #6 and #32, Kisses #4 on the prompt list with Caius Volturi. If your feeling up to it?" By anon
Prompts
Random
#6: “Stop being grumpy, it’s lame.”
#32: "I could punch you right now.”
Kisses
#4: Kiss on the neck
(Hey anon! Thanks for requesting. This is the first one for our blond vampire, I hope you enjoy it!)
Not long after joining the Volturi's coven, you had found out about your "mate". You had met him once before, though your first meeting ended up in a fit of nasty words and ended up leaving a hatred for each other. You knew that even though he was always like that, it still hurt in the slightest. Though when you and him argued you always found a way to make up some way or another. When words just didnt need to be said, a subtle glance in each others direction always seemed to do the trick. To not think about it alot, most of the time you would occupy your time with reading in the library. It was quiet and was very comfortable. One of the first places they had shown you and immediately you felt like this was the place you felt most at ease. You came here everyday. Not just to read but to think, to wonder what your family/friends were up to.
Luckily they had granted you a sliver of access to a phone, so that at anytime you could call your family or friends if need be. Which was once a week at most but if you felt like something was happening it would change to twice a week. The phone wasnt in the library but where the secretary was. She was a kind lady who didnt ask question and was quite calm about the fact she worked for vampires. You liked her but you knew one day she'd be gone and another would take her place. You always made sure to never be in the way of that. That being their feeding time or trials. So sticking to the library until aro or one of the guards came to inform you that they were through was the plan.
Alot of the time you would go and play chess with aro. You had never played before so it took alot of practice and patience for you to finally learn how to play. When you did however, aro had felt he met his match, so he requested you play every other day for a small competition. If he won you would have to join him and his brothers to a trial. If you won however he had to do whatever you wanted him to do. This went on as a silly little game of sorts that went on for months. That was until today. You joined aro for your annual game and decided to up the ante a bit. If you won he and his brother had to accompany you on a night out. To a dinner with all four of you and hopefully a movie if they were comfortable. He agreed and so did Marcus, they both loved the idea of going out for dinner even though you'd be the only one actually "eating". Aros request was always the same, come to a trial and watch. See what they do and how they go about disobedient vampires and all the little rule breakers. You gave it some thought until you also agreed. When you did you sealed it with a handshake and a giddy smile and wiggled in your seat. Just as you were about to start you hear a loud sigh right behind you. You turned and came face to face with a infuriated looking Caius. He shakes his head with an obvious scowl on his face. "Why must you always agree to these stupid little requests brother!? You always lose, I seem to think you do it on purpose." He says through clenched teeth "Well for your information, I seem to recall a certain conversation between us. Do you remember? Or is your memory your frailty?" He snaps his head back to the wall across from him. He slams his fists on the table and gets up. Rushing out of the room not even using his ability to run. Aro sighs out in utter frustration. "If only he was a bit more accepting than maybe we would be considered "normal". I am so very sorry for his behavior y/n." "Why should you be sorry for his outburst?" "We as brothers had a agreement with him not long ago. About a week or so ago. He doesnt want you coming to any of the trials as of the next few months." Confusion runs through your mind, but why your very much willing to attend but why would he care? "He does care for you y/n. More than I've ever seen him care for another." You scrunch up your face, how did he know. "Why would he act this way if he does care then?" He smiles slightly "We have some very dangerous people coming in the next few months. He's afraid they may see you and want to hurt you. Yes, we all are afraid of that but he is the most concerned." You look off to the side, contemplating whether or not you should go and confront him. Suddenly you feel a hand take yours "We can continue this-" he gestures at the chess board "-at some other time, go to him." You nod and get up.
There was only one place you could guess he was, the library. When you arrived there, you could clearly see the back of his head. His blonde hair laying flat against his back and shoulders. You approach him slowly, you could tell he knew you were there. He turns slightly, catching a glimpse of you. "What do you want?" He says not paying attention to you anymore. You walk up beside him and lean down, pushing aside his hair for a split second "What are yo-" he says but groans immediately as he feels your lips against the side of his neck. If he had a pulse surely it would be racing right now. He lays his head back against the chair, he sighs out and smiles slightly. You detach from him and go up to his ear and whisper “Stop being grumpy, it’s lame.” he groans again "Ugh why must you be so difficult?" You let out a short laugh "Why must you make things so hard for me. Make me believe you hate me, I truly thought that for the longest time. Listen, if you dont want me to go the trials I wont but you will go out and eat with me and the others. We can go get dinner, then we can come back. Maybe me and you can spend some time together, maybe I dont know try to get along better?" He clenches his jaw. "Thank you for understanding why I dont want you there. I'm sorry I make you feel unloved. I've never had a mate before, I've gone so long without one that I never knew what it was like to be loved. I never said I didnt want to go to the dinner, though sometimes your little requests are quite odd. I would also like spending time with you. I want to make this work." You smile and take his hand "I'm very glad, though I'm going to be honest with you. I could punch you right now, but I love you to much to hurt you, so maybe instead of doing that we can go get dinner and perhaps "make up"?" He smirks and squeezes your hand in his "I would like that." He says as he gets up and pulls you toward the library door "Now let's go see if you can beat aro yet again." You giggle slightly, maybe now you both can be "normal" then being at each others necks.
(Hey again, I hope you enjoyed and that it was good enough for you. If you did like it please remember requests are always open. Please have an amazing day and stay safe out there in the world!)
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Spies
Okay, I’m on the struggle bus big time. If you’ve sent me a request, rest assured I am working on them. I’ve had to return to work and I have all long days. Y’all are thirsty for TJ Maxx. We’ve never been so busy. Holy shit. Anyway. This request is for @nickmxller I hope I did what you asked for, love.
Pairing: Sam X Reader
Word Count: 1643
Warnings: swearing, but not much else.
Summary: Bucky sees Sam with a girl and his interest is piqued.
The day is overcast, cloudy, rainy; a thunderstorm is rolling in. Most people are rushing through the city to find shelter, any kind of covering to protect them from the rain.
So, why is Sam Wilson walking along with no sense of urgency, whistling away as if it’s the nicest summer day?
Bucky just can’t figure this guy out. But he does wish he’d hurry up just a little. Bucky’s freezing in this downpour.
The cafe is really more of a diner, purple vinyl seats, chrome countertops and all. He stops just inside the door and shakes off the rain before heading for a booth.
Bucky grumbles and stands back across the street, annoyed that he can’t follow his friend inside. He tries to fit under a small awning to watch what Sam is up to. He’s been sneaking around for months. Bucky can appreciate refining a skill set, but he’s not following anyone, not even acting sneaky, except for when he leaves the tower.
He watches Sam approach an already occupied booth, the beautiful woman seated stands up to greet him, a smile on her lips as she presses a kiss to his cheek. When they sit down, she’s still holding his hand.
Bucky’s jaw falls slack as he realizes that Wilson has a girlfriend and hasn’t told anyone. And they’re supposed to be partners.
He heads back to the tower, his brain working overtime. He knows the perfect person to help him get information. But Steve likes to pretend he has a moral high ground, and didn’t spend most of his childhood lying through those perfect teeth of his. So, Bucky isn’t certain Steve will help him spy.
Steve is sitting at his desk, frowning at a file. Bucky approaches, trying to fix his face into one of innocence.
“Hey, Stevie.” He starts.
And without even looking up to appreciate all the hard work Bucky put into the correct expression, he replies. “No. Not even a little bit.”
“What?” Bucky frowns.
“I’m not helping you with whatever idea you’re cooking up.”
“You don’t even know what I was going to say!” Bucky protests.
“Sure I do. You were going to ask me to help you find out what Sam has been up to.” Steve crosses his arms. “Don’t you think you and I are a little old to be doing this, Buck? Just let the man have his privacy. We all deserve some.” He pushes himself up and takes the file. “Give the guy a break, Buck.” Steve says, clapping him on the shoulder and leaving his office.
“Yeah right.” Bucky rolls his eyes.
“I’ll help you.” A voice says behind him and Bucky turns slowly, his startled heart pounding in his chest. But on the outside, he shows no sign of it.
“Clint. I didn’t even see you there.” He mutters as Barton climb down off the top of the bookcase.
“Neither did Steve. See? I’m the perfect guy to help you.”
“You’re down to spy on Sam?” Bucky asks uncertainly.
“Of course.”
“Alright then.”
Sam
There’s a knock on the door. It’s Sam’s room for all intents and purposes, even though he has his own apartment. He keeps clothes here, just in case, and for after missions for when he doesn’t want to go home covered in blood and guts. Or he sleeps here when a mission is too draining and he’s too exhausted to make the trek home.
Today, however, it’s the former. He has a date tonight and he doesn’t want to take the time to go all the way home to shower and change before meeting you for dinner. It’s easier to just shower here.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y. Who’s at the door?” Sam calls, buttoning up his shirt.
“Captain Rogers.” The AI replies evenly.
“Let him in.” The door clicks open and Sam sits on the end of the bed, pulling his boots on.
“Hey, Sam.” Steve greets, leaning against the door.
“What’s up? You have your serious face on.”
Steve chuckles and opens the folder in his hand. “You used all your vacation time.” He says.
“Yeah. That’s what it’s there for.” Sam grins.
“True. Will you be able to shift it around if an emergency pops up?”
“Possibly. But don’t let any emergencies pop up and we’ll be good.” Sam says, straightening up and clapping Steve on the shoulder.
“I’ll do my best.” Steve laughs. “There’s one more thing.” He starts and Sam frowns.
“Which is?”
“Bucky. He’s being nosy, asked me the other day about what you’re up to. I think he’s bored. Just watch out. I told him to mind his own business but he’s never been good at taking orders.”
Sam raises an eyebrow at his friend and Steve rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. Shut up.”
“Thanks for the warning.” He nods and steps past Steve.
***
He could feel Bucky’s eyes on him as he left the tower. Creeping, stalking. Sam could have just let it go. What did it matter? But this was a matter of pride. Bucky couldn’t be allowed to win. Not this one. So, Sam took a confusing, twisting route, losing his tail in the process. Now he could continue to you unhindered.
You open the door and he can’t help but stare at you. He never thought he’d meet anyone that makes his heart stop in his chest, or make him stammer like an idiot. And yet here you are.
“Sam? Are you okay? You look distracted.” You touch his hand and he follows you into your apartment.
“I’m being followed.” He sighs, deciding to tell you the truth. At least you’ll get a kick out of it.
“Followed? By a criminal?” You ask worriedly.
“Well.” He tilts his head. “By Bucky. For someone who likes their privacy, he doesn’t give any to anyone else. I guess he tried to ask Steve to join him in spying on me.”
You sit down next to him. “And Steve said?” You prompt.
“Steve said no, and that I should be careful with how much vacation time I’m taking.”
You roll your eyes. “Does Bucky know about me? Or is he just taking shots in the dark?”
“I think he’s taking shots in the dark, but I can’t know for sure. And I can’t just go and ask him.”
“Well, I think you should spy on him back. That way he’s following you following him following you.”
Sam tilts his head. “I think I followed all of that?”
You grin. “You’re gonna do great.” You say confidently before getting up and going to the kitchen.
“Thanks. I think.”
***
Bucky
Clint perches himself up on a building, a perfect view of Stark Tower and the surrounding streets. He also has easy access to jump from one to another to follow his prey.
Bucky is on the ground, ear piece nestled in place as he follows the man. Samuel is walking easily through the crowds, not in a hurry, seeming almost happy.
Clint keeps him updated about Sam’s movement; a left, a right, another left, and then a right and a right and then a left before turning into a... parking garage?
Where the hell is he going?
Bucky follows silently, but Clint has lost visual and is no longer any help. He’s flying blind now. He searches the first floor before moving on to the second. The hair on the back of his neck stands on end.
He’s being watched.
His pulse quickens in anticipation, skin feeling alive with electricity. He turns around sharply coming face to face with Sam. He’s leaning against a column with ease and looking completely unsurprised that Bucky is there.
“Hey, man.” Sam says with a smile.
“Fancy meeting you here.” Bucky tries and Sam chuckles.
“What’re doing, Buck?”
Bucky looks around. “I’m, uh, parking.” He shrugs.
“Parking your car?” Sam asks, a grin tugging at his lips.
“Yup.”
“Bucky.” Sam says, sounding very amused.
“Sam.” Bucky replies.
“You don’t have a car.” Sam reminds him and Bucky curses.
“You’re sneaking around and being weird!” Bucky accuses.
“If you wanted to meet my girlfriend, all you had to do was ask, man.” Sam sighs, rubbing his face.
“How did you even know?”
“I only look like an idiot. C’mon, Bucky. You and Clint can come to dinner.” He says.
“Wait, how did you know about Barton?” Bucky asks, frowning.
“He fell asleep in the air vent the other day, started snoring. Kind of obvious.” Sam lifts a shoulder. He turns and starts walking out of the parking garage, not waiting to see if Bucky would follow.
Presumptuous bastard.
Bucky follows with a grumble and as they exit the structure, Barton drops next to him. “We’re being fed?” He asks happily.
“Good job being stealth. You fell asleep in the vents! How does that happen?”
“They’re comfortable. Good place for a nap.” Clint says unashamedly.
“You’re an old man.” Bucky shakes his head.
They both follow Sam a couple more blocks to an apartment building. He takes them up a couple floors before knocking on a door.
“You don’t have a key yet? That’s a bad sign.” Clint mutters.
The door opens to reveal the girl Bucky had seen before. Her eyes light up when she sees Sam, even though she had probably been expecting him.
“I see that didn’t take long.” She says, flicking her eyes towards us.
“Piece of cake.” He says, scooping her up and kissing her for an uncomfortably long time.
“You boys hungry?” She asks when they finally pull away. She lets them in and Bucky sees the table is already set for four people.
He was set up.
He looks at Sam’s girlfriend and she’s smiling at him, an easy, friendly smile. “I’m Y/N.” She offers her hand.
“Well played, Y/N.” Bucky says, shaking her hand.
This will be fun.
Everything Tag List
@everythingisoverrated @psyched2b @shreddedparchment @bitsandbobsandstuff @after-avenging-hours @alexblrus @thinkingsofamadwoman @i-dont-want-to-be-called @thefridgeismybestie @fortheloveofallthatsholy @crazychaotic @pleasureoftheguiltiestvariety @redstarstan @justreadingfics @themistsofmyavalon @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @wkemeup @thiccbinch @glide-thru @elliee1497 @ellaenchanted91 @part-time-patronus @janeyboo @scarlettwitcher @thirstybitchqueen @xxloki81xx @stuckonjbbarnes @browngirlmagic @geeksareunique @nicoleplacee @lexshead @gambitsqueen @sebbbystaaan @lokisironthrone @imanuglywombat @also-fangirlinsweden @ravenesque
#sam wilson#sam x reader#marvel#marvel fanfiction#marvel fan fiction#Bucky Barnes#Sam x Bucky#request#mermaidxatxheart-writes#reader insert
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S3A - E3
Hiya, back with another episode of the rewatch. I am...not looking forward to this episode. *deep breath* here we go.
Read More’s save sanity
Hey, so I know this is a really heavy first bullet point...but isn’t anybody else uncomfortable with the image of a black boy running around out of his mind with fury and bloodlust and going after little...white kids? Am I reading too much into this? I know Cora’s running around too. I just...whatever, I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut.
Straight from way too heavy to way too light. So that girl dropped a big jar of fireflies, but they say that fireflies that actually glow aren’t native to California, which would mean these are part of the whole magic thing going on, and at the end of the whole firefly thing they get rid of all the fireflies. So...what if someone finds that jar and opens it?
...nevermind the jar opened up somehow...
Okay, listen, I have a petty and biased hatred for this moment with Scott. Like...is it so hard to say, “I had to get the kids he was chasing away from him?” It’s not like they don’t have time..they just stand there in silence for a while.
I also hate the savior pose he strikes there with the kids clinging to him. Like, I get that it’s a very common trope. I still hate it. I use the anti-scott tag for a reason, let me be salty.
why te fuck does Scott FLOAT in the intro?
Lydia has seriously emptied an entire bottle of ibuprofen? She should be dead. Or at least at a hospital. She’s too smart not to know how dangerous it is to take ibuprofen (even the recommended dosage) for too long at a time.
Lydia...Lydia knows about werewolves now. Did no one tell her about this whole escape plan for the betas? She could’ve helped.
Cue the shitty SFX running. Y’all look ridiculous.
Man, come on. Are you seriously telling me that Derek never played hide and seek with his siblings? Like, they’re werewolves for fuck’s sake. Derek never did fake chases through the woods? He tracked PETER for christ’s sake, all the way across town. He was like yards behind him before he got shot that one time.
This show relies a lot on character’s losing time and just finding themselves places. Jackson losing time, Lydia losing time. Lydia losing time again, but in a new way. Later, it’ll be Stiles losing time. I’m just saying, it happens a lot.
It’s fucking august in California. Does it actually get that cold? Poor Lydia’s nose is always red cus she gets forced to wander around in the dark and freezing. I can see her goosebumps when she kneels next to the pool.
I know it’s gotta be hell on her voice, but I think it’s so interesting the way Lydia screams and how it has to jump around the chords before hitting that one note. I don’t know why I find that so interesting. Guess it just reminds me of a wolf howl. Seriously, look ‘em up. Weirdly similar. GO Holland!
What do you mean the last memory that she had of her mother, Scott? You should’ve told her RIGHT THEN. Right off the bat. There was TONS of time between her getting bit and when she died. You should’ve told Allison right away. Fuck you, you had all of spring break!
god fucking damn it now I’m crying again. Erica, sweetie...Derek honey...
I’m trying to get past the tears to enjoy this romancey stuff, with the candles and the lil lamps, and the LOTR references. I’m really trying.
This is totally not what I should be thinking about while watching the two of them make out, but like, so does Caitlin not go to their school? She just sort of appears a couple times, but Stiles doesn’t seem to know her. Maybe she went to the same school as Heather?
don’t like bugs don’t like bugs ew ew ew ew
Hi cora!
Isaac! You’re somehow feeling better, even though you were apparently out of commission like an hour or two ago...wait huh?
I gotta say, okay, listen I just can’t help it. I know this is serious, but that lil smirk on Isaac’s face? I don’t think he looks smug, personally, I think he looks like he’s about to go play, go rolling around in the grass and leaves, playing with a pack member. He’s been alone for so long this summer, what with Jackson leaving. he’s had no wolves to play with (cus’ we know Derek’s a grump). As worried as he’s gotta be, I bet he’s having funnnnnn.
I..uh..Cora what sound is coming out of your mouth? That..that does not sound like a wolf. That sounds like a wild cat of some kind. Wolves don’t make that screechy noise. They bark and growl, like the sound that came just before. That doesn’t even sound like a roar. Who gave you cheetah sounds?? You’re canine, not feline. Come on they did SO WELL with Derek’s sounds-- No. NO Do not tell me they gave Cora cat sounds cus she’s a chick. I’m gonna fight someone. (For those of you interested, if you scroll to the bottom of this webpage, you can listen to wolf growl snippets and they’re such good quality (I think the bark snippet is broken tho). Listen to those whimpers and whines too, fucking fascinating. I love wolves. Such beautiful animals.)
Cora with Isaac and Scott attacking her and growling at her: “Fuck you, I’ll bite you!”
Cora with Derek just growling at her: “BYE bro!”
Stiles, honey! I missed you! Literally, just the sound of your voice makes me feel better.
Scott, Seriously, Derek just said you haven’t tracked either of them anywhere near the pool. You’ve both been following them all night! Yeah, they’re dangerous, but they couldn’t get to the pool and back in time to fight you! I”M GONNA SMACK YOU. DOn’t use that fucking patronizing tone of voice when Derek is TELLING YOU FACTS.
OUR fault? OUR FAULT? I’m gonna fucking *kicks a chair and storms off, grumbling* *Spins around, cus fuck it i’m gonna yell. it’s my post.* NONE OF THIS is DEREK”S FAULT. NOne of this is ISAAC’S FAULT. Fuck dude, I’ll even say that it’s not Scott’s fault! If it’s anyone other than the Alphas’ fault, it’s Allison’s, but tbf she thought she was helping.
DEREK SHUT YOUR PRETTY MOUTH. I swear to god.
ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING? DEREK WOULD NEVER SUGGEST MURDERING BOYD AND CORA. NEVER. He thought Cora was fucking dead and he just found out she’s alive! HE WOULD NEVER. NEVER. FUCK YOU. FUCK EVERYTHING. *Throws a plate* YOU KNOW YOU ONLY FUCKING WROTE IT SO THAT YOU COULD SHOW OFF SCOOT MCFUCKFACE’S SUDDEN FLIP IN MORALITY BY HAVING HIM SAY THAT “KILLING ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO”
OH REALLY Scott? REALLY? Killing is bad? YOU DIDN’T THINK SO WHEN YOU SPENT MONTHS attempting to commit PREMEDITATED MURDER of a GUY WHO WAS ALREADY DYING. MONTHS. Scott. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS SHOW. 13 minutes in and I’m already about to chuck my laptop across the room. MY CAT WON’T EVEN CUDDLE ME ANYMORE I’M SO ANGRY.
And now I’m really fucking sad, cus’ I hate watching this poor girl get told she’s just hallucinating.
WHY does everyone go shopping at fucking 8 pm in Beacon Hills? What...Chris you don’t even have a day job.
I don’t...I don’t understand this scene with Isaac. Like..what exactly are they trying to imply? That he thinks she’s hot? All he’s seen is her raging around with fangs free and glowing eyes. And yeah, some people definitely think that’s hot. But like...that’s just so...what? I choose to read this scene as him just wondering about Derek’s home life. Like, “Since when do you have siblings? Why don’t you tell me these things? I have an aunt?”
WHAT DO YOU mean “Your world?” CHRIS YOU GREW UP AS A HUNTER. THIS IS YOUR WORLD TOO. He was YOUR dad. You’ve been a part of this WAY longer than Scott! Don’t blame the werewolves for ruining your life! THAT WAS YOUR DAD and YOUR STUPID HUNTER CODE’S FAULT.
OKay, listen, I have so many issues with this I need a therapist to mediate my conversations with it. FUCK YOU TW for bringing in Chris. I dont’ give a fuck if he’s experienced or trying to redeem himself. He is a HUNTER he has Slaughtered Derek’s kind for his entire life. He may want to do the right thing, but the right thing definitely doesn’t involved him Standing in front of Derek and forcing him to listen to hunter PROPAGANDA BULLSHIT.
I’M SO FUCKING MAD. This was so inappropriate, holy shit. SO far beyond okay. Even the CONCEPT that werewolves wouldn’t be as good at tracking other werewolves as hunters are is fucking stupid. You said it yourself, Chris they can follow scent up to TWO MILES AWAY. Wolves can track their prey for weeks without losing the scent. Just because Isaac stepped on some footprints doesn’t mean he’s incapable of finding them. And what’s all this shit about them “Being able to rely on their human half”? NO? First off, minor detail. Werewolves aren’t half wolf, half human, dumbass. They’re all werewolf. AND The show has said like Ten TIMES that they can’t access their human form/the thought processes they would normally have during a full moon without an anchor, and Boyd and Cora are effectively anchorless on this moon. This is just utter bullshit and I’m so goddamn angry I don’t even know how to process it. “If you’re not trained like me you have no idea this print is Boyd’s” YEAH THEY DO. THEY CAN LITERALLY SMELL IT. DEREK ALREADY IDENTIFIED THE TRACKS. FUCK you.
ALSO. Getting REAL SICk of people slicing their wrists every time they need a little blood for a ritual or for bait. YOU CUT THE MEAT of the arm. ON THE BACK. WHERE YOU WON”T HIT a VEIN. DUMBASSES.
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NINE YEARS DEREK? YOU’D BETTER MEAN CORA WAS NINE YEARS OLD, CUS’ THE FIRE WAS SIX YEARS AGO.
and what do you mean you don’t have a lock on her scent? you’ve been following it just fine all night! Wolves remember human scents decades later.
Booooo, i hate the entire concept of wolves going mad on a full moon. It’s lazy and boring. Wolves are not vicious animals, they’re shy as fuck. THey don’t attack without reason. Werewolves should be the same. Full moon’s enhance their wolfishness, so it should make them MORE SHY. The moon should enhance whatever they feel, rather than just making them mindlessly aggressive.
“Primal apex Predatory satisfaction”? seriously? Shut the FUCK up Chris, I’m really fucking sick of your hunter bedtime stories.
....i hate this woman.
Casual reminder that Isaac wouldn’t suggest Killing boyd. Ever. I fucking hate these writers.
yeah yeah, running scene. blah blah blah.
See, I never really understood those fics where Peter just refuses to give anyone any info. He tells Derek what’s up constantly. He didn’t lie or hold anything back when he helped Derek figure out what was up with Jackson or how Jackson needed Lydia to be cured. He walks right up to Derek and says “Hey, so those Alphas clearly want you to join them and that means they’re trying to make you kill your own pack” Peter helps Derek all the time. He’s just a dick while he does it.
Look, I love this moment with Peter, his “Let Scott be the hero of his morally black and white world. You and I, we live in shades of gray” lines are so good, and they speak so much to his character and personality. And he’s right. But I hate that they built the scene around Derek planning to kill his own pack, and following Scott around doing as he asks. I just hate what they do to Derek here.
The dog whistles suddenly have no effect on their hearing? Love it.
Take a second to bring up a plotline you won’t explain for ages. I vibe with that, so long as it is eventually explained.
OOh, suddenly BHHS has a football field?
Not gonna cry, not gonna cry. FUCK I’m crying again.
I just...dude I’m over here trying not to completely lose my shit and cry like a baby, and Stiles is in the middle of panicking and losing his oldest friend and he still puts the dots together. Like. Jesus christ this boy.
NOW Derek? You choose NOW to take Every Single Step down the stairs? JUMP.
...what is this a cartoon? Glowing eyes in the dark? one too many sets?
Yeah, yeah, I get it, they’re supposed to look like fireflies.
Why did you stop to look at each other after blasting them? Just go.
OH, yeah, of course Scott has to be the one to hear the extra heartbeat. Scott. Not Derek. Not the ALpha who’s senses are heightened above the a Beta’s. Not DEREK the ALPHA who has a PACK, which makes his senses even stronger that that. No. Scott. The omega. Because he’s like an inch closer to the door. Yah. Sure. That makes sense. SUre.
Dude I wish my high school had that much backup supplies free for the teacher’s to grab.
Also, I hate this woman.
WHy were the lights off in the boiler room if she was in the back grabbing stuff? That..what?
OH. I forgot, so Caitlin’s out of high school? She’s...what, 18? 19? Okay, fine, I’ll take that.
Oh stop faking Jennifer, fuck you.
Crying again. dont’ mind me. This is Derek. Not choosing to kill his beta or his long lost sister. Choosing to die himself instead. THAT is Derek (it’s self-sacrificing and it’s because he gives his own life no worth, but it’s still him.)
HOW IS IT DAWN? THAT WOULD BE like 6 HOURS of standing around! Or did the sun not set until like 10 pm? Hm? This show has no concept of time, and werewolves are very time oriented. Someone take away the show from the writers. They’ve lost their privileges.
I hate this. I hate that Isaac shouts for Scott. Not Derek. That’s just so fucking dumb. I’m so tired of it. I’m just so fucking sick of it.
I don’t even wanna look at this. I hate this woman so much.
YOU REALIZE that the third Virgin was Taken. The third virgin is DEAD. the sacrifices have been made, and now Jennifer has control over people. This is where she starts controlling Derek. Right Fucking Here. He loses his agency the moment they touch, if not the moment they make eye contact or he gets in range. I hate it. I HATE IT.
BOOM. Episode three, and Stiles already has the villain after next figured out. He’s past the Alphas now.
Final Thoughts: I’m angry, I’m tired, and I honestly got very little joy or interest out of this whole episode. I hate what this show did to werewolves and how much insane Scott glorification there is and how every little thing HAS to be about Scott. Scott’s relationship with Chris. Scott saving the kids. Scott’s the one Isaac calls for. Scott’s the one who hears the heartbeats. I get that he’s the main character. I also hate that he’s the main character. It’s just so sad and pathetic and boring and just....ugh. I’m going to bed. I will try for another episode or two tomorrow.
(I promise I’m okay. Just go listen to the wolf howls for me in that link, huh? Listen to those beauties and imagine how amazing a wolf show could have been.)
#personal#TeenWolf-Rewatch#anti-scott mccall#i'm sad#but i promise not as sad as it might come across#just need a lil break
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I dont regret deciding to go to college bc I've got a lot to get out of it I think but GOD if I think too hard about the fact that I finally chose to go to college (partially) because I just Could Not find work related to the field I wanted to work in, and I felt it *had* to be my next step, because no where would take me without solid experience and wouldnt give me the chance to actually get some,
And then literally a MONTH after I started classes I found an incredibly well-paying job as a camera operator, aka What I Want To Do, filming something that's fun to watch AND that provides good experience, PLUS opportunities to maybe film live broadcasts, AND that will pad out my resume really well AND that gives me access to footage I've personally filmed so I have something to show for it,
I lose my mind a little bit thank you
#I MEAN long-term my goals are a little higher than a camera op at horse shows#but i just needed a start!#and i got it..... a month after i started going into college debt because id lost hope in finding it elsewhere#theyll both be part of growing my career#baby steps and all that#but JEEZ
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chlodine band au
abandoned concept
Already, Nadine feels as if she has retired. Though she has always enjoyed routine, this is something else entirely—monotony.
Every morning she wakes up at the exact same time, drinks the same coffee, rides the same bus to work. Lunch breaks, she takes alone. The street on which she works is designed to appeal to as many people as possible, so everything is generic as it is flashy. When she had first gotten here, she had devised a list of restaurants within a five minute walk which she would try, and she still uses it as a rotation. On Mondays she eats at the American-style diner, Tuesdays are for Indian food, Wednesdays, Mexican, and so on and so forth.
Work is uninspiring and unfulfilling. Head of security in the city’s biggest music hall. The paperwork is dull and the patrols even more so. The only time she feels remotely close to who she was before Shoreline collapsed is when she’s working out at the gym. Even then, it is a poor substitute.
Routine. Simple, straightforward.
Eventually, she might let go of her resentment and learn to be grateful for the fifteen years she had with Shoreline. Now, however, she can’t help but still be bitter, even two years after it had slipped from her fingers. Her father’s doing; he had grown weak and sentimental, and dissolved the company before she could even think to step in for him. He had gone as far as to forbid her from that career and she was nothing if not dutiful as a soldier and as a daughter, even if it angered her to be so.
She hasn’t spoken to him since. She had moved away so she wouldn’t be tempted to continue their never-ending argument, and found her mind-numbing, soul-sucking job working as a cockblock to crowds of groupies when the next big thing deigned to tour in her coastal city.
She had become robotic. She felt as if she were wasting her life away, doing nothing. Though she was not retired according to the official definition of the word, she had been retired from her career as a soldier and, as someone who had cobbled their entire identity around being one, it was as good as true. Retired at 36.
These are the thoughts that plague her every waking moment. It’s not like the job requires of her more than 4 braincells. She has never been good with idle time.
On top of all that, there is a big concert tonight and will be followed by one more the following night. This, she has been dreading in the months that preceded it. The band is native to the city and, no matter what Nadine thinks of them, they are successful enough for the city to treat them as if they were its crown jewels. They aren’t even a real band—there are only two of them. How they coerced anyone to like them with a name like “Drake’s Fortune,” she will never know.
Still, she doesn’t work at The Rolling Stones, isn’t paid to opine, so she keeps it all to herself and does her job: a circuit of the building, double and triple-checking the locks on all the doors, and checking in on all the guards on duty tonight via radio.
As head of security, she doesn’t have a concrete post for the night. It’s more of a rotation, ensuring the gears are in place and well-oiled, at that. Generally, with big concerts like this, she tries to linger near the backstage to stop any zealous fans her subordinates can’t handle on their own. It hasn’t been that bad tonight and even she will admit the music isn’t terrible. But, of course, the band members themselves sound smarmy and obnoxious. From the hall, she hears the lead, Nathan, try to woo the crowd with his boyish charm and she scoffs at it. Sam the drummer and backup singer tags along and she fears she might roll her eyes so hard they become permanently affixed to the back of her head.
Probably, she has just lost her tolerance for people who are unnecessarily loud about how happy they are with their careers. The irony doesn’t escape her, doing what she does. Every other week, a new band or singer parades through town to laugh and scream and flaunt themselves on a stage in fromt of thousands. And she had been tasked with making sure they make it to the next city intact enough to do it all over again.
She misses the rest of the show, called to the entrance, and she is thankful to leave behind the sounds of the brothers Drake. After that, she has to go help out at the backdoor which takes almost an hour to handle. The thick of the crowd has mostly dissipated by the time the clock hits 12:30am and none of the band members had appeared—thank god for that.
It is another hour before she’s finally finished with all her responsibilities. She immediately takes off her uniform top and ties it around her waist, sweat-stained as it is. She has a second tank top and a spare shirt in her office to change into.
It’s on the way back there that she notices she’s lost the only personal affect she takes to work: a bracelet her mother had gifted her at the airport before she’d left for this city. Immediately, she feels a headache coming on.
If her mother found out, she’d be delivered from an early retirement to an early grave.
Bordering on nauseous, she rushes to retrace her steps: backstage, entrance, backdoor. As she’d expected, she comes up empty. Really, what are the odds?
Sighing, she turns back to the backdoor and begins to unlock it. It’s then when it swings open from the inside; Nadine has to jerk back to avoid getting slammed in the face. A woman comes stumbling out, cursing as she misses the step down into the back alley. She’s in a red shirt, tight and cut just above her bellybutton, and a pair of what looks to Nadine like fashionable, upscale cargo pants. In her hand, she holds a phone which she had obviously been watching instead of her step.
Nadine scowls. “Hey, watch it.”
The woman spins around, a look of surprise flashing across her face. “Sorry.” Then, she squints at Nadine, under the neon lights, and her look of remorse fades into curiosity, and mischief, and an infuriating arrogance. “Hey there.”
Nadine only glares and makes for the door. The woman raises an eyebrow and steps in her way.
“I’m not sure you’re allowed back there, love,” the woman drawls, leaning too close into Nadine’s personal space. Ordinarily, Nadine would’ve put this woman in her place instantly, but the confidence and her apparent access to the backdoor leads her to believe she might be with the Drakes in some capacity. She isn’t interested in losing her job over this. “But I’ll be happy to show you to where you are very much welcome.”
Oh, she thinks Nadine is a groupie. She closes her eyes and tries not to fly off the handle. “Christ, I don’t know who you are but I work here and I’m not in the mood for this.”
To her credit, the woman takes it in stride. She sticks her hand out. “Chloe Frazer, touring member. I play bass.”
Nadine stares at her hand. Stares at the wrist attached to her hand. Stares at the bracelet looped around the wrist.
Slowly, Chloe’s smile fades and she drops her hand. “Look, are you lost?”
“Am I— I’m the head of fucking security,” Nadine barks out, near trembling with rage. “And you’re wearing my fucking bracelet, and you’re in my fucking way, and you’re wearing my fucking bracelet!”
Chloe steps back at the sheer outrage in Nadine’s voice.
“Well?!” Nadine thunders.
Sheepishly, Chloe takes the bracelet off and holds it out to Nadine— she snatches it back and tightens it hard enough to maybe cut off circulation.
Chloe clears her throat. “Hey, uh, I found it. I was going to bring it to lost and found.”
Nadine scowls. “Funny, I’ve worked here for ages and I’ve never heard of the back alley lost and found. Must’ve slipped my notice.”
“Actually, the thing is, I was going to make a call first—”
“Save it.”
And Nadine wrenches the door open and slams it shut behind her, and storms her way through the building with a glower so biting she thinks she spots Nathan Drake ducking behind a crate to get out of her way. As it should be.
note: so basically im incapable of giving either of them occupations that arent treasure hunting so it wouldve turned out chloes an eccentric well off treasure hunter who also plays bass sometimes for her friends cos she’s a hot girl and nadine, unhappy w her career, is offered a job by chloe (see: tll) but this is only after nadine n chloe hv been dating for a while:) i dont like this enough to continue it but here ya go
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