Happy pride to the little gay people on my phone

(the au where andreil gets outed pt.2)

Day 3 - Broken Bones ! Collab with @raionartgrove

u guys i’m so back boom drummer drew

writing wymack pov for my fic has given me the crazed joy of finding out exactly how much andrew is like him. kevin. u like someone who's exactly like ur father. i am crying but freud is cheering

Pride is time to show my tf2 and tfc hcs (all of them can be trans depending on how i feel)

You're trespassing you fucking idiot

Serving

after anon asked— here i am with jean’s appearances in the foxhole court :)

he actually didn’t appear, but there was a phone call (WHICH MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME)

+ nicky mentioning kevin has learned french from jean (WHICH ALSO MEANS THE WORLD TO ME)

i think i’ll do the raven king on thursday night since i still have an oral exam to prepare for and jean actually appears in trk :))

deleting all the dating apps so i can find love the old fashioned way (i join a sports team made out of misfits with the purpose of giving them a second and third and fifth chance and the goalie and the striker are kind of intense but i end up promising the goalie to keep the striker here if he protects me from the literal mafia and i join their group that's referred to as the monsters by the rest of the team and the goalie gives me keys and truths and cigarettes and he says the thing between us is nothing and that he hates me but i know that the simple fact that he even bothers to express these things means something because he's usually so apathetic but sometimes he shows feelings to me and he trusts me and i trust him and the thing between us is not nothing even if he claims he wants to kill me most of the time)

i really love how highly neil thinks of kevin as an exy player specifically

I'm slowly but surely becoming a Kevin Day Stan because I was listening to the king's men in the car this morning and why THE FUCK did everyone decide collectively that Neil going to the nest was Kevin's fault??? They had known Neil for like 7 months at this point and Kevin even longer did they really think he stood a chance at stopping him???

And I know that no one has all the information but they could ask for even a modicum of further information or just LISTEN when Neil says it wasn't about Kevin???

how do you think jean would be post tsc duology with his sexuality with jeremy like i feel like he’s been put into this submissive role at the nest but idk if that was something he enjoyed

Oh you’ve opened a can of worms anon. Here’s a not so short but typically messy, as per usual, look into Jean’s sexuality.

Firstly, I think there are a million different nuances and anomaly’s and sides to Jean’s sexuality. Jean Moreau: whose first girlfriend was a plane ticket to the United States. We don’t know much about his childhood, but we can only imagine it wasn’t pleasant; If he’s anything like Neil, did he date at all as a kid/young teen?

So - let’s picture it. We’re a little while into Jean’s time with the Trojans, we're a little while into Jean and Jeremy figuring each other out, and the sex conversations comes up.

Now, personally, I don't believe that Jean's response to his trauma is anything like Andrew's - we've seen he doesn't seem to have an issue being touched, and nor does he seem to have an issue with sexuality in general. But things that I believe he does have a problem with?

His sexuality, and knowing what he wants vs what he believes is expected of him.

I think Jean has an incredible amount of shame around his interest in men. Most of it having been beaten into him, instilled by Riko into him. I think his gut response to pull away and reject advances and pretend his interest in men doesn't exist comes mostly from that, or from hearing Kevin say to him that it was far too difficult a life to be the child of a legacy and interested in men. How the public would react, how professional exy teams and the media would respond; it's always easier to be heterosexual. It always has been.

The first hurdle Jean has to jump over is that; allowing himself to desire men, to feel like that is okay, to feel like he deserves the way that Jeremy looks at him. The Trojans help, far more than they even know. Cat and Laila help. All of the queer couples and out-and-proud folks on the team help. Immeasurably. It normalises it for him, and he sees how safe they are, how unpunished they are, and whether its subconscious or not, being around them all really helps destroy his bone-deep shame. But he gets past it. At some stage he admits that his sexuality is unimportant to him, as it truly is, but he feels comfortable enough say well, yes, his attraction does also extend to men. It will never be more important that Exy. But it exists. It just eventually becomes a far smaller deal to him that it had originally been.

Skip some time, some awkward and painful conversations, and Jean and Jeremy are together. How that happens, I don't know - do they hook up first? Do they date for a while before they get there? But, when they get there, there comes this point a handful of times in where Jeremy realises he has been leading their encounters a whole lot more than Jean is. In fact, when he thinks about it, as comfortable as Jean insists that he is, he is not in control at all. He follows Jeremy's lead. Jeremy thinks about Kevin's awkward comment the day he was asked to sign Jean.

"Tell me what you want." Jeremy says, having thought too much about it, having wondered if he was imagining things.

"You," Jean responds, maybe. "That is all."

Jeremy sits back and he looks at him, and Jean looks back with that gorgeous and confused look draped across his pale complexion. Somehow they talk for a little while, and find themselves at the point:

Is this how you actually want to have sex, or is it just how you think I want you to have sex?

And Jean doesn't know. It's the question that sends him spiralling, because he hasn't even realised it. He hasn't noticed how he is simply complacent, uninvested in his own desires and pleasure in order to keep Jeremy happy. It's not that he doesn't get pleasure from it, of course he does, but he will not take a step out of line if Jeremy is happy. I think he might have to stop for a while, stepping back from sex while he tries to understand his relationship with sex itself. He's too used to being used and having expectations put on him that he knows no different. He doesn't know what he likes. He doesn't know if he prefers to top or bottom, to be submissive or dominant, or any other thing like that; it's a no-mans land that he's spent far too long people-pleasing in that he's forgotten that he's allowed to enjoy it as well. So I think that takes a lot of time and unlearning to see his own pleasure as something worthy of investigating.

Jeremy is patient, of course, and while he sees how much of a "step back" Jean has taken in terms of being okay with sex, it's worth it; sure, Jean never much had a problem with it, and maybe bringing it up caused a problem, but it sparks that thought in Jean's brain. That curiosity about whether or not the role that he plays during sex has been built by the nest, or if it's what he genuinely likes to do. As I say, it takes a lot of unlearning for Jean. A lot of unpacking of what happened to him, and a lot of really, really hard conversations.

His body is his own, and he knows that now. It does not belong to Jeremy. Again, not that Jeremy thinks so either, to be very clear. He knows Jeremy doesn't think so. Not one bit. But he has to understand that himself. He doesn't have to read Jeremy's micro expressions to figure out what he wants him to do, he doesn't have to just keep him happy. Intimacy can only exist in an environment where it is reciprocated. And while he cares deeply for Jeremy, if he is ignoring his own desires in order to maintain peace, he is not being genuine. He is simply submitting because that's the only option he's known. That's the only choice he's ever had.

I think Jean loves sex - I think Jean really, really enjoys having sex with Jeremy. I just think it's also evident quite quickly that he isn't even thinking about how he affords Jeremy all of the control in every scenario. Jean is submissive because that's all he knows. And I feel like it takes a while and a lot of talking for him to leave that habit behind and freely, unashamedly, fuck without expectation for him to be a certain way or act a certain way. That doesn't mean he has to be a top or a bottom. It does mean that he has to stop himself from studying every twitch and tell on Jeremy's face to try understand completely what the Captain expects of him.

So sorry this fictional not real made up character didn’t meet your specific standards for moral purity! Do you want us to arrest them

In the EC, Nora said that Andrew and Neil learned a new language together after TKM. In TSC Jean mentions Neil and Andrew speaking some language he doesn’t understand. Given that Jean speaks English, French, and mystery 3rd language (presumably japanese), i feel like he would have mentioned if the language sounded similar to a romance language or an east asian tonal language.

My theory is that they learned either: A) Arabic (or one of its many dialects), or B) An African language (perhaps Swahili, since it’s the most spoken and would likely have the most resources available, though please feel free to fact check me on this if i’m wrong)

do you think kayleigh day, aka the princess diana of exy, was the first woman who was kind to riko when he was a boy?