Adding to the affection thingy, I imagine that brushing might be a very affectionate thing. If one of the dogs has long hair for example, to brush it must take so much time that it's really an act of love if their s.o. Does it. Also instead of backscratchers there might be belly scratchers available.... If they don't have someone to scratch it.

.

The Things We Lose Aizawa x Reader

Aizawa looked at the clock yet again. He was probably just as eager as his students were for class to end on a Friday. Just another 17 minutes until the bell and he coul- “Daddy!” Tired eyes suddenly widened at the cute voice that followed pattering footsteps. Without much warning his two-year-old son came barreling towards him, eventually grabbing onto his leg. “Maka, mommy said to wait for her and not bother daddy in class!” Aizawa’s head turned to see his five-year-old daughter trying to round up her sibling. The sounds of murmurs and whispers from his class didn’t go unnoticed. Looking up he could see twenty pairs of wide eyes homing in on the two children who had suddenly made an appearance. The black-haired man sighed heavily.

Its not that he wanted to keep his loved ones a secret, but he definitely tried to keep a distance between his teaching life and his person life. But seeing as Maka and Keshi had just bridged that distance between the two worlds, Aizawa decided the only thing to do would be to introduce them. Lifting his son up and beckoning his daughter over he turned to the class, whose roaring mumbles trickled into dead silence. “Everyone, this is my daughter Keshi and my son Maka.  Keshi, Maka say hello to my students.” “Daddy are these the future hero students?!” His daughter asked with wide excited eyes. His son simply stared in amazement as his tiny hand timidly waved out to the teenagers. “Yes, they are.” “Put me down! Put me down!” Maka said suddenly fighting out of his father’s embrace. Before he knew it, his son was running between the rows of desks eyeing every single student. Most of the guys chuckled at the little boy’s antics and answered any questions he had about their quirks while the girls were squealing over the chubby toddler. “Sorry daddy, mama was trying to talk with her friend Ms. Midnight and she told me to watch Maka but he ran off to your class.” Keshi explained to her dad with a guilty look. He placed a hand on the girl’s soft messy hair and smiled. “That’s okay. Where is your mother?” “Oh she-” “I’m gonna be a hero too!” A determined little voice bellowed out from near the back of the class. Aizawa saw his son’s eyes sparkling as he clenched his little fists and stared up at a certain green haired student with determination. “Look what my quirk does!” Father senses kicked in as his son removed the glove from his left hand and knelt down to the floor. He saw the tips of his marker-like fingers ready to press to the ground before raising his voice. “Don’t draw on the floor!” Too late. The class chuckled at the boy’s cute lumpy character, which he looked rather proud of as he stared at it. “Wow, so your hands are markers? That’s pretty nea-” Midoriya stopped speaking as the image on the ground began to twitch. The entire class including the kid’s father watched on in amazement as a little 2d creature sprung up from the drawing and began crawling around the classroom. The two-year-old simply giggled in delight before looking to his father for praise. Aizawa felt his throat tighten at seeing his son’s quirk manifest for the first time. His quirk, it was just like- “Holy shit! Get it off me!” The class laughed as the explosive blonde tried swiping at the thing that was crawling over his body before hoping off. He’d let out a sigh of relief before practically jumping at the sudden appearance of his teacher’s daughter before him. “What the hell do you wa-” “That was a naughty word.” With that a small hand reached up and rubbed across his lips quickly but softly. Pulling away, the class was momentarily horrified to see Bakugou’s mouth completely gone as if wiped away. The teen began clawing at his face before the missing body part slowly rematerialized. Small sparks shot from Bakugou’s palms as he glared at the little girl, only to be surprised when her face didn’t falter an inch. “Keshi, don’t use your quirk on my students. Apologize.” Aizawa’s voice came out quiet but firm. “Sorry.” The young girl said never breaking eye contact. “You don’t sound sorry at all.” Bakugou said leaning towards her. “Because I’m not.” She whispered with a smirk before walking back over to her father. “Creepy little brat. She’s too much like her dad.” “Mr. Aizawa, we had no idea you had a family!” Mina exclaimed as she took a wonky 2d flower from a blushing Maka. “And with such impressive quirks!” Iida exclaimed examining the kid’s finger pads. “They really are amazing.” Izuku mumbled, jotting away in his journal. He tapped his pen to his lips momentarily before a figurative lightbulb went off. “I got it! Maka’s quirk reminds me of the former pro-hero, Scribble!” “That would be me.” A sweet voice called out from the front of the classroom. A beautiful woman in a wheelchair made her entrance into the classroom ignoring the dumbfounded stare from Aizawa. “Forgive me for interrupting your instruction time. I should have kept better tabs on my kids.” The woman said bowing her head slightly to the whole class. “Class was about to end in a few minutes anyway.” Aizawa said still staring at the chair the woman was sitting in. “Mama look what I made!” Maka said running up to her, holding his strange sentient drawing. The woman smiled brightly as she held her arm out to hold it and of course the class couldn’t help but notice it then. Midoriya, having known the back story of many pro-heroes, already knew to expect it but the attitude in the room shifted to see this wheel-chair bound woman with only a single arm. Before she could admire the drawing any further, the object suddenly melted into a little pool of ink that stained the woman’s palm. “Sorry mama!” “That’s okay baby, you’re still learning!” Mina suddenly took out a sheet of paper and placed her flower drawing on it to catch any ink spillage. “Wow! Ma’am it’s so amazing to meet you! I remember watching you on the news a few times when I was younger!” Izuku said standing up to give the woman a proper bow. “Please dear, don’t flatter me so much. And none of this ma’am business, I’m only 27!” “Oh yes sorry Mrs. Aizawa!” Izuku said with a big smile not missing the falter in her teacher’s face as well as the woman’s. “Just (Y/N) will do.” She said with a small fake smile. “Ahem for those of you who don’t know. This is (L/N) (Y/N), known by her hero name as Scribble. She’s Keshi and Maka’s mother.” While all the students said their hellos there was no denying that they all caught the weird way Mr. Aizawa had introduced her. “Mama mama! I found two new girlfriends in this class!” Maka exclaimed jumping into his mother’s lap. “What, two?!” Mina exclaimed, hopping up from her seat. “Who’s my competition?!” Behind her Tsuyu hid her own flower and heart drawing in her backpack. As the older woman laughed the release bell rang and all the students began to gather their stuff. Finally casting him a glance the woman attempted to speak up before Aizawa beat her to it. “Care to tell me why you’re in a wheelchair?” His students had cleared out by now and he was ready to let his questions free. The woman gave him a blank stare before turning to her kids with a huge smile. “Why don’t you two go and visit Uncle Zashi?” “Uncle Zashi! Uncle Zashi!!” The two exclaimed excitedly before bolting out of the classroom. “Well if you must know, they found the same issues as they did before. I chose to try a limb sparing surgery. It means I’ll have to be off my legs for a while but at least I actually get to keep them.” The dark-haired male scoffed but felt his demeanor soften as he grew worried again. “You could have kept me updated.” He replied with a slight damper in his voice. “What for?” An awkward silence spread between the two in the empty room before he spoke up once more. “I got to see Maka’s quirk. When did that happen?” “Last weekend. I know you were busy with training and couldn’t pick the kids up. He’s been super excited to show you ever since.” “And you didn’t you call to tell me that because…?” (Y/N) looked down at the lone hand in her lap. Aizawa wanted nothing more than to take back that stupid question, he knew damn well why she didn’t want to talk about it. “It’s just like my quirk used to be.” (Y/N) finally responded with a hoarse voice. Looking up she had an unreadable expression. “This is a long weekend, right? I’ll pick the kids up Monday afternoon. We already put all their stuff on your desk in the teacher work room. I’ll see you in a few days, Aizawa.” The whirl of the wheelchair’s motor hummed through the air as his ex-wife made her way out of the classroom. Staring after her retreating figure, Aizawa couldn’t help but think about how this was the most they’ve spoken in a year. ~~~~~ “Grilled cheese with pickle?” Aizawa asked with a quirked brow at his daughter’s weird request. “Yeah lots of pickles!” Keshi said slapping her hands on the table. “No crusts!” “Alright then. For you, Maka?” “Grilled cheese with tomato! Extra cheese and extra crispy!” “That’s how your mom likes her sandwiches too.” He commented feeling his own words tug at his heartstrings. He noticed his kids’ confusion as he pulled out the toaster along with a box of toaster bags. They watched as he prepared their sandwiches to their requests, placed them in little baggies and put them in the toaster. “What are you doing daddy?” Maka asked looking up at his father expectantly. “Making grilled cheese.” “That’s not the way mama does it!” He said a bit perplexed by his father’s unorthodox methods. Hearing that, Aizawa had vivid flashbacks to when he and (Y/N) were freshly graduated from U.A. New and broke heroes, he remembered fondly the way she would stand over the stove grilling sandwiches for dinner. He could imagine her sitting on the counter wiping her mouth, asking why he was staring at her so intensely, never realizing how beautiful she looked doing even the most mundane things. “But we will like them anyway daddy!” Keshi spoke up noticing a sudden crestfallen look on his face. “Maaakaa you made daddy cry!” Aizawa’s head snapped up at that comment. Looking up at his children, the blurred vision let him know that his eyes had indeed been watering. Rubbing at them he turned to put in his eyedrops. “I sorry daddy! I will eat all your food because its good like mama’s! Don’t be sad!” “No, don’t worry. You didn’t make me sad, I promise.” “Then why are your eyes teary, daddy?” Keshi asked with a small frown. Running a hand through his hair, he figured at the very least his eldest would understand what he meant. “I miss mama.” He answered honestly. “Why don’t you come visit us at mama’s house sometime?” “I don’t think mama wants me there.” “But why not daddy? I was asking some of my classmates and they say their mommies and daddies live together so why do you and mama have different homes?” Aizawa held his breath as he racked his mind for a way to answer that question. He knew things like this would eventually pop up as his kids got older but he’d hoped it wouldn’t be for awhile longer. “Well because moms and dads only live together when they are married. Mama and I aren’t married. Besides I need to stay here for my students.” He answered firmly, hoping it would be enough to squash the conversation. Sure, enough his kids wouldn’t let it go so easy. “Then why don’t you marry mama? Like me daddy, I’m gonna marry Ms. Mina and Ms. Tsu!” Maka said with a replenished sparkle in his eye. This caused his father to let out a sincere chuckle and smile at his kids. “Yeah daddy! Marry mama! You can bring her flowers like Uncle Zashi!” Aizawa felt his spine go rigid at his daughter’s innocent comment. He looked between both kids who held clueless smiles. He always promised himself he would never use his children as a means to get information about his ex-wife. He’d felt it was a scummy thing to do but right now he already felt like scum. “When did Uncle Zashi bring mama flowers?” “When she was in the hospital! Grandma and grandpa took care of us while mama was getting her legs fixed but sometimes Uncle Zashi would pick us up and we’d go eat and he’d take us to see mama. Every time he would bring her lots of flowers and candies!” “He’d buy us candy too!” “Would he now?” Aizawa had every emotion he’d ever felt whirling around in him before he smiled. “That’s good, I’m glad he bought my babies some sweets too.” “I’m no baby!” Maka protested with a little pout, before scrunching up his tiny nose. “Daddy something smells bad.” Snapping out of the conversation and his thoughts, Aizawa noticed that the sandwiches had yet to pop out despite the amount of time. Sure enough the toaster had been set to max and grey smoke was beginning to rise from the machine and burnt sandwiches. Quickly unplugging the machine, Aizawa lifted the toaster and rushed to place it outside the teacher’s dorms with his kids following on his trail. “Why does the toaster even go that high?!” His daughter exclaimed, trying to fan the smoke out of the building. “A villain must have been behind it!” Maka added, nibbling on a slice of cheese he snagged from the counter. “Okay, well dad tried. Get ready, we’re going out to eat.” The kids raced back inside, cheering. “And please brush your hair, Keshi!” “Brush yours, daddy!” “That’s fair.” He watched as his kids scrambled to get ready and finally let his face fall. Throwing himself on the nearest chair, he gripped at the area right above his heart. While he sincerely doubted that (Y/N) was dating Yamada, he couldn’t help but come to terms with something he hadn’t quite faced yet. They’d been divorced for 2 and a half years now. Eventually, if she hadn’t already, (Y/N) would move on. Maybe she’d get remarried, have another child, move across the world to be with that person. And yet his life hadn’t moved an inch since their split. He hadn’t dated or even shown an interest in doing so and he truly didn’t believe he would. (Y/N) was the only woman he’d loved ever and even when the two were still together he’d always told her that would never change. All he wanted was for things to be the way they were before. He needed her back in his life and he’d tried in the past to show that to her. He called to ask how she was doing but she always steered the conversation back to the kids. He would offer her gifts, but she refused every single one or gave it to their babies. Simple conversation wasn’t something he could make with her anymore and it killed him. Now it would seem even his best friend was closer to her than he was. She was and always would be the love of his life, but one thing was obvious. She was over him now. ~~~~~ (Y/N) opened her eyes slowly. Glancing over at the clock she cursed her sleep schedule for waking her so early. Turning over she was met with an empty bed. A space a husband hadn’t filled in years but one her babies found themselves in most mornings. She really tried to get them to sleep in their own beds but by morning one or both of them wound up starfishing it on the mattress, leaving their mother to cling to the edge. But the weekends were like this…lonely…empty. She couldn’t find it in her to feel too sorry for herself. Aizawa, she figured, felt like this five days of the week compared to her two. At the very least she could say he had his students to distract him on those days. The weekends were too quiet. Everything that needed to be done for the next week was always already completed. Often times she couldn’t help but think how much more busy her life would have been if she had taken the job offer at Shiketsu, instead of the average middle school she worked at now. It had been a job with better pay, better benefits, and more prestige but it had been too far west for them to make it work. Being so far away Aizawa would never have been able to see Maka and Keshi. Maybe once a month, if they were lucky every OTHER weekend. But she could never do that to them…to any of them. He might have been a crappy husband, but he’d always been a great father, and (Y/N) would have never made it hard for him to see his kids. Finally hauling herself out of bed and into her wheelchair, the woman went into the bathroom to prepare for her day. Smiling to herself she scrolled through YouTube to play her baby’s favourite song while she got ready. “Baby shark dododododododo Baby shark!” Running the brush through her tangles, (Y/N) laughed to herself imagining Maka singing the song in his usual off tune voice. Her joyous moment was cut short by a bing on her phone. Putting the brush down she grabbed her cell and opened the message from her friend Yamada. She’d known him since they were all in school together and was glad her divorce never made it so that she couldn’t still be his friend. ‘Let’s grab dinner tonight!’ ‘Sure but let’s make sure it’s a place that serves alcohol. I need a drink!’ ‘Same! I’ll pick you up at 7:00!’ ‘…Remember when we used to head out at 11?’ ‘We’re getting old…’ ‘Speak for yourself! See you then.’ (Y/N) felt relief for having something to do. Her phone suddenly went off again, catching her attention once more. ‘And (Y/N)…leave the ring at home. You’ll never meet someone with it on.’ Sighing heavily, she didn’t even bother to answer. She knew her friend thought it was a security blanket but honestly it was just her first line of defense. She wasn’t interested in romance or being flirted with. Putting her old wedding ring on when she went out drinking helped deter even just a few people from approaching her. It had nothing to do with her ex-husband. When he left he didn’t take much with him, didn’t even ask for the ring back. She’d tried returning it in the past but he insisted he didn’t want it and it was hers now, to pawn or give to the kids when they were older. It mostly spent its time in her junk drawer with several other gifts he’d tried thrusting upon her within the past few years. Jewelry, concert tickets, gift cards, fine clothes, things she couldn’t give away to her kids sat collecting dust in there. For a while it had been a constant thing, confusing her to no end. Aizawa was someone she barely understood when times were good between them. So, when they went bad…boy did they go bad. Only recently had he stopped trying to give her things or prod Yamada for info on her, that he would run to tell her about. In some ways she was happy. The divorce had been hard and that had only made it harder. Maybe she was also happy for him, he’d clearly not been happy in the marriage. Even after it was over, his actions trying to get her attention made her think he still wasn’t. But now that it finally stopped she figured maybe he finally was happy. Maybe he was finally moving on. Which meant…she’d have to as well. Rolling into the living room, she was snapped out of her thoughts when her wheelchair went over a bump. Looking down her eyes widened. Leaning down she swiped the object off the floor before rushing to dial her ex on the phone. It rang for a bit before going off to voicemail. “Dammit. Aizawa, Keshi forgot her extra EpiPen here at my house. I know you’re really careful with her but I’m gonna take it to you in case of emergencies. I’ll be there soon!” All thoughts of her tragic love life or drinking tonight went out the window as the frantic mother grabbed her things before heading out to her car. ~~~~~ “Oh come on it’s not like I’m some kind of stalker! I’m here on official business!” “Why do I find that hard to believe?” Aizawa said to Emi as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Daddy who’s that at the door?” Maka said grinding his tiny fist into his eyes, mirroring his father. The green haired woman blinked at the child a few times before squealing in delight. “No way, is this your baby!?” Ms. Joke exclaimed crouching down to pinch at his chubby cheeks, much to Maka’s disapproval. “I know you mentioned you had been married and had some kiddos, but I never knew they were such little cuties!” “This is my son Maka and please don’t baby him like that. Maka this is daddy’s friend Ms. Emi.” Maka swatted at her hands that ruffled his bed head. Before he could control it, he began giggling. “Don’t use your quirk on my kid!” Aizawa scolded, his eyes now glowing red and hair floating around. Much to his surprise Maka didn’t stop giggling, looking more closely he saw Emi making funny faces at his youngest. Turning off his own quirk he sighed. “You look just like your dad! How old are you sweetie!?” “Two.” The boy said smiling, holding up two random nonconsecutive fingers. “How about in sixteen years we get married?!” The woman said playfully, holding her hands out to the small boys who eyed her up and down. “No, you’re too old. Besides I have two future wives waiting for me!” “Ouch, being rejected by your toddler hurt more than by you.” Ms. Joke chuckled in a half jest. “What can I say? He is my son after all. Is your sister still asleep?” Aizawa asked Maka, looking back into the bedroom. “Yup. Mama said she’d sleep through the end of the world if you let her.” Emi snorted a laugh before beaming up at Aizawa. “Like father like kids huh?” “I guess. Would you like to join us for breakfast in the common area?” Aizawa asked begrudgingly. “I’d love to!” Emi responded quickly bouncing on her toes. “We can go over the paperwork my school sent your way.” “I wake up Keshi, daddy?” “No, let her sleep in for a few more hours. What do you feel like eating this morning?” The black-haired male asked looking down at the young boy who in turn stared down at his own little sock covered feet. “I not hungry, daddy.” “Really why not? Mama said you’ve been eating a lot in the morning.” When Maka had no response, Emi giggled into her palms. “Uh oh is daddy’s cooking that bad?” “It’s not and refrain from calling me ‘daddy’ if you don’t mind.” “What if I make breakfast for you guys?! After all you are doing me a huge favour by completing this paperwork so early in the morning! How about pancakes?” “Yeah!” Maka cheered suddenly running to cling onto the bottom of Ms. Joke’s shorts. “Please daddy?” The little boy pleaded putting on his glossiest puppy eyes. “Yeah pllleease daddy?” The cheerful woman said teasingly, hoisting the young boy up onto her hip. “Ugh fine. Just don’t put any c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e in it because Maka gets hyper. And definitely no berries, Keshi is severely allergic. Which reminds me, Maka where is her pen?” “Mama put it in the paw patrol packpack.” “Alright, be good with Ms. Emi while I look for it okay?” “Okay daddy. Come on Memi!” Maka exclaimed pushing out of her hold and tugging on her hand to lead the way. “Memi? How cute!” Soon enough the seafoam haired woman was flipping hot pancakes on the stove catching Maka observing her carefully from the corner of her eyes. He had been informing her about his favourite shows and YouTube videos while she listened intently, nodding and humming in acknowledgement. Aizawa had still yet to join them, she figured he was having a hard time finding his daughter’s EpiPen. In the back of her mind she couldn’t help but vaguely imagine that this would be her life if she ever got the chance with Aizawa. “Here you go love.” Emi said placing a single large pancake onto the boy’s awaiting plate. Gingerly she drizzled thin lines of syrup not wanting to get the kid too hyper. She watched in amusement as he attempted slicing the pancake, poking and mushing it down with his fork. When all else failed she witnessed him lift the entire thing with his hands and bring it to his mouth to take a chomp out of it. “Woah woah here let me cut it for you!” Maka placed the pancake down before something across the room caught his eye. Emi saw his eyes light up as the little boy went running. “Mama mama!” Ms. Joke turned to the entrance only to see a worried looking woman come in on a motorized chair. She watched Maka barrel towards her before flinging himself into her lap. “Hi my baby!” The woman said, squeezing her son with her one arm. “We are going home now?” “Not yet sweetheart, Keshi just forgot her medicine at home. Eww why are your hands so sticky?” The boy’s mother asked with a chuckle. “Syrup. Memi made me pamcake.” “Memi?” (Y/N) questioned finally looking up at the attractive woman now standing only a few feet away. “Hi, I’m Emi Fukukado.” She said holding out a hand to shake only to feel like an asshole when she realized the woman was missing the proper arm to offer. She dropped the gesture right away and noticed a bright smile come onto the woman’s face. “Ahh yes the prohero Ms. Joke correct? I believe you used to work near Maka’s father? I’m (Y/N) (L/N), the mother.” Ms. Joke’s mouth formed into a soft ‘o’ shape. Aizawa had always spoken of a wife since they’d known each other. She’d also known of the pro hero Scribble, whose hero career was cut tragically short. But she’d never known they were one in the same. “She’s daddy’s friend, mama.” Maka offered with a smile. “Daddy said to call her Memi.” “Sounds kind of like mommy, huh?” (Y/N) said ruffling her boy’s hair only for Emi’s heart to sink into her stomach. “I think he’s just having trouble with my name. Aizawa and I are-” “Oh here do you mind giving this to him? It’s Keshi’s EpiPen, she’s allergic to-” “Berries! Yeah Aizawa had been looking everywhere for this! I’ll be sure to give it to him right away!” (Y/N)’s smile faltered slightly before sighing and kissing Maka on the forehead, placing him down on the ground. “Alright baby, mama has to go now.” Maka began to whine slightly. His watery eyes were hard to ignore. “I go with you!” “Don’t you want to stay with daddy?” “Yes, but wanna go with you too!” The little boy hiccupped with tears running down his chubby cheeks. “Don’t leave! I wanna be with you AND daddy!” Emi felt her heartstrings constrict tightly like a violin. Aizawa never told her anything about his ex-wife so she couldn’t pretend to know the whole story. But it was obvious the young boy was struggling with the divorce in a way he couldn’t articulate. Leaning down to lift up the black-haired child Emi smoothed her hand over his head and shushed him. He rested his head on her shoulder taking in shaking breaths, clearly trying to calm himself. Her hand rubbed circles into his back soothingly, but his breathing was still ragged. “Hey come on, I’m sure mama is really busy! Your dad has the best time when you’re here! Maybe when Keshi get’s up we can go to the park!” He was shaking his head while his wails now verged onto hysteric levels. Emi was beginning to panic and was about to place the child in his mother’s waiting embrace before he began pushing out of her arms, kicking and grabbing for his mother to pick him up. “No! Mama! Mama! Go with you and daddy!” “Emi, what did you do to Maka? Why is he crying like that?” Aizawa said suddenly appearing from his bedroom looking disheveled. His eyes found the two women and child right away, widening when he processed the image before him. Speeding walking up to them he took Maka from his colleague quickly. “(Y/N), I didn’t know you were coming. Is everything okay?” The disheveled man attempted to smooth down his crazy hair with his one free hand while patting his still sobbing son. Of course (Y/N) looked fucking gorgeous this early in the morning and he looked like a hungover swap rat. “I called but I suppose you were busy. Fukukado said you were looking for Keshi’s EpiPen, but the kids may have knocked it out of the bag. I decided to bring it over and now that Maka is calming down I’ll be going.” Aizawa looked at the child in his arms who was now drifting back to sleep. Taking a few quick steps towards his ex he attempted to reach a hand out to her shoulder and wasn’t at all surprised when she pulled back. Didn’t mean it hurt any less though. “Would you like to stay and chat? We can have breakfast or coffee.” He offered feeling the heavy tension in the room as Ms. Joke shifted her weight and averted her eyes. “Thank you for the offer but I wouldn’t want to intrude. Besides I have plans for tonight that I need to get ready for. Bye Fukukado. Aizawa.” The dark-haired male watched as the woman made her way out the building. Why the hell hadn’t he charged his phone last night? Why did he have to be busy when she came? Why did Emi have to be here? He knew that (Y/N) probably assumed she was his lover and it shouldn’t matter…but deep down he didn’t want her to think that. “Hey, I’m really sorry Eraser.” Emi whispered, finally speaking up. “Just sign the paper for me and I’ll be out of here.” Breathing out a huge sigh, Aizawa walked back to his room to lay Maka in bed next to his sister. Smoothing his black hair out of his face he turned to his colleague with a small smile. “Why don’t you stay and have breakfast with me? I wouldn’t want your cooking to go to waste.” Ms. Joke seemed surprised but nodded eagerly, following the tired man out of the room. Though the experience was much more awkward than she had anticipated. Aizawa was silently eating his breakfast and sipping a glass of juice. He wasn’t trying to make conversation and Emi figured he was too deep in thought to hold one she started. That’s when she noticed it, a small sparkle around his neck. Whatever was on the end of his necklace was carefully tucked away into his black shirt. If she looked closely enough, she could make out a circular pattern pushing through. He didn’t seem the type to wear jewelry, so she felt comfortable making the assumption she was about to voice. “I guess that’s why I still don’t have a chance with you huh?” “What?” “I mean I knew back when you were married that you were 100% loyal but even now I’ll never have a chance. And that’s because you’re still in love with your ex-wife.” “Don’t psychoanalyze my situation.” “Oh come on I’ve known you for years and I’ve never seen your eyes light up the way they did when you saw (Y/N). When you talk about your kids sure, but that’s a different kind of sparkle. Then I saw you trying to fix your appearance up for her, last time you did that was for the sake of U.A because you’d be on national television.” Reaching across the table Ms. Joke tugged on the chain around his neck that sent a wedding ring flying out of his shirt. She watched him glance down at the low swinging object not verbally confirming anything. “You wear your old wedding ring around your neck. I know I come on really strong all the time but as a friend I want to know what happened? Why did she divorce you?” Aizawa fiddled with the gold band, glancing between the woman in front of him and his plate. Having been divorced for what would soon be 3 years, he hadn’t had to tell this story in a long time. And even then, only so many people knew the details. “I was the one who asked for the divorce.” He noticed Emi raise her eyebrows in shock, but she gave no response and waited for him to continue. “It’s a really long-winded story but to put it shortly, I made a decision for her and she didn’t agree with it and we just couldn’t be together after.” “I’m going to need more than that. Does…does it have anything to do with the incident that made her retire? I mean the press talked about it like a tragic decision she had to make for her family’s sake. She was only 23 and to be retired that shortly after debuting...” “She was gonna be big. Her name would have been up there with some of the greatest. I was so sure of it. Her rank was moving fast, her quirk was amazing. Hell, even after having Keshi so young, she was back out there… It wasn’t my decision to make, I know that, but I did.” “Sho, calm down love. You already upset Keshi with all that screaming outside.” (Y/N) said swinging her legs from the high examination table as they waited for the doctor. “You were at an elementary school for god’s sakes. It was supposed to be simple and easy, you just broke that arm and to rebreak it? Where the hell was Mic?” “Babe he was right there giving the presentation with me, you already interrogated him in the waiting room. A seven-year-old lost control of their quirk for a split second. I’m fine, it hurts like a bitch but I’m okay. Come here.” Aizawa shuffled over to his wife and allowed her to pull his head to her chest as she stroked his hair. He could feel her laying soft kisses on the top of his head. His eyes snapped open when he felt her tracing a pattern on his back. He knew she was drawing on the back of his shirt but didn’t pull away. “Love don’t move that arm.” “Come on, it’s already all cast up.” A loud meow filled the room and with a sudden kick off from his back Aizawa turned to see a plump chalk outlined cat sitting on the ground licking itself. He reached down to pick it up and touched its fur, if he didn’t look at it he would think he was holding the actual animal. “Mr. and Mrs. Aizawa?” A sudden voice echoes into the room. (Y/N) took her opposite uninjured hand and swiped it over the cat, erasing it from her husband’s arms. “Took you long enough. How is my wife’s arm? Will it have permanent damage because she had already broken it recently? Why did you have to run so many tests?” “To have the same bone broken twice, we were admittedly worried. Well we ran some scans of your body we noticed two separate things that need to be addressed. One possibly good and the other potentially very bad.” (Y/N) and Aizawa looked at each other with a slight bit of worry. “I guess we’ll hear the bad first.” Both watched as the doctor placed images on the lit board in the room. He pointed at a dozen or more milky dots littering her humerus. The big words he was using were flying over (Y/N)’s head while Aizawa seemed to be clinging to his every one of them. Finally, a certain word stuck out. “Wait, tumor?” “Tumors. All of these dots in the scan, we are unsure if they are benign or malignant at this point.” “Malignant? What you mean like cancer? You think I have bone cancer?” Her voice asked timidly only for her husband to grab her good hand and give it a slight squeeze. “We don't want to say that just yet but on first glance it doesn't look good. Have you been experiencing unexplained pain in that arm?” “No I-“ “Well wait yes she was complaining about a dull ache for almost half a year now.” Aizawa interrupted suddenly. (Y/N) shot him a look but he paid her no mind. “But I use my arm a lot in hero work so I'm sure it's just soreness!” “And your friend Mr. Hizashi informed us that the child merely bumped you when your arm broke? Such little force to cause a break is-” “Well he was kind of far! I don't think he saw properly! That kid had a strength quirk, so he could have put a lot of force-” “(Y/N) it's okay.” Her husband said grabbing her face gently and pressing his forehead to hers. When she’d finally calmed down he pulled away and looked at the doctor. “Okay so let's assume the worst. If it is bone cancer how do we...what do we do next? How do we treat that?” “Normally in the case of a single malignant tumour we can perform an extraction in the target area only. However, in this case, there are nearly a dozen tumours in her humerus. It would likely be advised to perform a full amputation of the limb.” “No! No no no I can't let you do that! My quirk is activated with this arm! Look see my chalk tips?! Without this arm I have no quirk!” “Yes, we've been made aware. In any other case we would suggest chemotherapy or radiation. That wouldn't be the best treatment but it would be another option.” “Then we'll do that!” “Here is where a problem may lie. The other thing our test showed was that you are currently pregnant.” The room went silent. The hands that had been clasping each other slightly went slack. Clearing her throat, (Y/N) had to restate what she just heard to be sure it was actually what was said. “Me? I'm pregnant? We're having another baby?” “Yes. Now it would seem you are very early in your pregnancy. That doesn't mix well with the other options.” “You mean it could hurt the baby?” “It's possible. Chemo is a risk to the fetus in the first trimester. Radiation is a risk up until delivery. If you choose to carry to term, amputation would be your best option.” “Well we aren't aborting, right?” Aizawa asked, looking to his wife for approval and saw her nod in agreement. “So, we only have one option.” “Amputation.” “No treatment.” Both spouses looked at the other as if they’d gone absolutely insane. “What do you mean 'no treatment'? That wasn’t an option.” Aizawa was the first to speak up. “Well I'm making it one. If we choose not to treat what would happen?” “Well you'd have the same symptoms as now, pain brittle bones but eventually if we fear the worst the cancer could metastasize. If that happens it will be much harder to get rid of.” “What are the chances of it metastasizing within 9 months?” “With how many tumours and depending on how bad it is the chances are not in your favour.” “Okay so here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna hold off for a few months until it's safe to start chemo, then we do that. Once I have the baby we can do radiation. But I'm not risking my baby or my hero career.” “So, you’ll risk your life?” Aizawa asked finally letting go of her hand entirely. “I will be fine for a few months. Everything will be okay love. I promise.” “But it wasn’t, I’m assuming?” Ms. Joke asked interrupting Aizawa’s thousand-yard stare. “She’d always been so stubborn. Who the hell even fights crime while pregnant? She took on jobs up until Keshi was born and intended to do so with Maka. I kept telling her to stop, especially with her conditions. She always wanted to save everyone but what about herself? So, I get a call one day that she’d been hurt by a villain, really badly, blood everywhere.” Aizawa took in a few shallow breaths. He could still remember the frantic call from Midnight. He was still hearing (Y/N)’s screams of agony, the very same arm completely shattered from fingertip to shoulder. Her x-rays were like nothing he’d ever seen, her bones had been splintered into something that he would no longer call bones. Mic had been holding Keshi, looking just as nervous. When (Y/N) had lost consciousness from the pain her decision now became his. “The doctors told me they could reset everything back in place. That it wouldn’t be easy but it was possible. Yet in the back of my mind not a day had gone by since she’d gotten the news, that I didn’t wish she’d chosen to not take any risks. So, as her medical proxy, I approved the amputation.” Emi gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. She knew it was a hard decision and she would never sit there and judge him. But she couldn’t imagine waking up suddenly quirkless, having someone take the decision away from you. To know that everything you worked for suddenly came to a dead halt. “She didn’t even need to be told it was me. When she woke up and found out what happened she cried. I mean she sobbed, we couldn’t even bring Keshi in there because we knew it would upset her. When she finally calmed down and she told she’d never forgive me.” “So how were you the one who ended up asking for a divorce?” “I stayed by her side for a few months. But I would always catch these looks she’d give me when she thought I wasn’t looking. Looks as if she hated me, as if she was struggling to even be around me. Things weren’t the same after that, she wasn’t affectionate, and we didn’t talk like we used to. I didn’t want to keep her in a marriage she wasn’t happy in, so I filed for divorce a few months before Maka was born.” “Hmm don’t take offense to this but that’s kind of a dick move.” Aizawa’s head snapped up, not expecting to hear something like that from Ms. Joke. She noticed the look on his face and held her hands up in defense. “Don’t get me wrong, I know it must have been difficult in a way I could never imagine but I can’t help to think of her side you know? I mean in less than a year you find out you have cancer, lose your quirk and your job, then lose your husband all while being pregnant with his child. You gave her a few months to process something that probably would have taken ten times longer.” “I didn’t want her to be upset.” “Or did you not want her to be upset with you? I know it was hard on you, to think that your wife hates you. Now imagine that feeling times two because I bet that’s what she was going through. To me it sounds like you hated that your wife didn’t idolize you anymore. You hated that you gave her a reason to rightfully be upset with you…so you left.” “Yeah well who asked you?” Aizawa mumbled looking into his cup. “No one but if you did ask me, I would tell you that I think she still loves you too. I think if given the chance she would take you back.” “Huh well as usual, you’re wrong.” “Hmm why do you say that?” “I’ve given her chances to take me back. Chances to even just talk to me but she shoots down every single one. If anything, giving these ‘chances’ have only made things worse. Maybe a year ago when I was living at my old apartment, while the kids were sleeping…we spent a night together. I hadn’t been with her or anybody since we split, and I thought I finally had her back. But when I woke up she’d already left. We’d been MARRIED and she treated me like a one-night stand.” Emi could hear how hard it was for him to talk about this, how uncomfortable he was. She didn’t pry yet he continued on. “I tried talking to her about it and I realized that she could separate sex and love as two different things. I couldn’t and didn’t want it to happen again. Really it just severed us even more.” “Hmm this is a tricky situation. I’m 99% sure she’s still in love with you. She looked super jealous when she saw me in here with Maka.” “Of course, but that’s because you were holding her baby, it had nothing to do with me.” “I don’t think so. This wasn’t motherly instinct anger, this was ‘back off my man’ anger. Hmm well this is gonna sound stupid, but did you ever tell her you were sorry for what happened.” “I’m sorry for the consequences but I’m not sorry for the decision I made.” “Did you ever tell her you were sorry for how you made her feel?” The silence between the two was enough of an answer. Emi sighed but smiled at her friend. “Even if it’s years late…say you’re sorry. Tell her you’re in love with her and never stopped being. Tell her how much you want her back and pray it all works out.” Aizawa looked deeply into the woman’s eyes before letting out a short sigh and averting his eyes back onto his plate. “And if she does turn you down…well I’m always available for a date. I’m good with kids and cats!” This got a surprisingly genuine laugh from the man, startlingly Ms. Joke more than anything had that morning. “I know you are, Emi.” ~~~~~ “It’s not fair Yamada! She was so hot!” (Y/N) whined like a teenager as she took another gulp of her drink. “You’ve been hung up on Ms. Joke for the past 4 hours. Do you want to date her or be her?” “Yes!” The two giggled stupidly as (Y/N) appreciated the loud noises of the bar they were in. She was more grateful than ever that Yamada was able to meet tonight and get her mind off things. “Besides why does it bother you so much?” “Because my ex is moving on to bigger and better things. Career wise and in his love life. Yet here I am still stuck in my same old routine. My life has only gone downhill since the split.” “I told you, you shouldn’t have let the divorce go through. You should have taken those divorce papers and ripped them right in front of his face.” “Then Aizawa would have stayed miserable married to me.” “Fuck him!” “Ugh god I wish. I would take another session with him in a heartbeat. How does he manage to look even better than when we were in high school? While I got this mom body to deal with.” “Shut up, you’re still hot.” “You only say that cause you haven’t seen the real story! Clothes can hide a lot!” “Can’t hide everything. (Y/N), you’re a milf if I’ve ever seen one!” (Y/N) choked on her drink before busting out laughing. “Dude shut the hell up, you have to say that because you’re my friend!” “What? I’m just letting you know if you weren’t my best friend’s ex-wife, you’d be my current wife! Look don’t take my word for it. Hey c’mere!” The loud blonde called out to some random guy walking by. “Yamada stop!” (Y/N) urged all while stifling a giggle. After enough arm flailing, the stranger made his way over to the couple of tipsy friends. “If given the opportunity would you or would you not take my friend to the nearest hotel and have kinky sex with her all night?” “Yamada!” “Hell yeah, if she’s offering!” “See I told you, you still got it.” Yamada said with a cocky smirk before his face faltered as a strong set of hands began messaging his shoulders. “What about you, beautiful? You can join us too. Make it a really fun night.” (Y/N) let out a hysterical giggle as the man blew air onto her friend’s ear and he instantly recoiled with a girlish scream. “Sorry I don’t have enough alcohol in my system for that!” “Well how much more do you think it will take?” The stranger said reaching into his wallet. “A few drops short of alcohol poisoning! Come on (Y/N), let’s go!” (Y/N) continued to laugh as she wheeled out after her bolting friend. Once they were a few feet away from the bar, the blonde man turned to his friend with a pout. “It’s not funny!” “You should have gone for him he wasn’t bad.” “Yeah well my standards go a little higher than ‘not bad’. Besides that man wanted to ravish me, take away my innocence!” “Your innocence!? Bitch please, if you’re innocent then I’m a virgin!” “Rude! You make me seem like a cheap slut.” Her friend pouted slightly. “Aww no come on. You’re an expensive slut! All someone has to do is mention how much they love your radio show and boom you’re waking up in a stranger’s bed.” Hizashi did chuckle a bit at the truth behind that statement. He’d gone out with (Y/N) enough times for her to see his patterns of casual flings. Which in mentioning only made him curious. “I do tend to get pretty sidetracked when we go out like this. What happens to you? Do you ever find anyone that catches your interest?” (Y/N) slowly stopped laughing and began wheeling towards the park across the street. Not leaving her friend hanging she just sort of shrugged her shoulders. “Not really.” “So…have you BEEN WITH anyone since you got divorced? Besides of course that time you used Aizawa.” The blonde threw his hands up in defense when he saw the woman shoot him an icy glare. “I didn’t use him okay. He wanted it just as much as I did, he just had to go and make things weird after. And to answer your question…yes I have been with other people.” “Oh yeah? How many?” “Like one practically every weekend the kids are with their father.” “Shiiiiit and you’re calling me the slut? How come I’ve never gotten a turn?” “Because Aizawa would string you up to the tallest tower in Japan.” “Wait so you score a new body each week and you still think you’re not attractive? Biiitch you were just fishing for compliments at this point.” “Yeah well if I’m so hot how come Aizawa didn’t want me?” Hizashi stopped walking and watched his friend carry on. Very rarely did she speak about her feelings on the divorce in this manner. No matter how drunk he got her, her confessions were always full of comical anger or humorous self-deprecation. She never said anything so serious. “Didn’t want you? You’re joking right? You know that man has been pining for you since highschool and kicked it into overdrive the past three years. I’ve told you all this before. I know you don’t like to mention it but you can talk to me about this you know? It’s been a long time…don’t you think it’s time to talk about it with someone?” “Whatever, people pinning over others don’t divorce their pregnant wives. They don’t break apart their families. They don’t make life changing decisions for the other knowing damn well its not what they want. They don’t ruin everything you ever worked for! I worked hard to have a nice family and be this great hero and he took it all away from me.” (Y/N) stopped her wheelchair and wiped at her damp eyes. “He took everything from me, and he never even apologized for it.” “Would you have forgiven him even if he did?” Hizashi said kicked at the rock on the sidewalk. “Because from what I remember, you told him the opposite. But I don’t think your deal is forgiving him, it’s about forgiving yourself.” “What the hell do I have to forgive myself for?” “For almost hurting your family more than he did.” Hizashi sighed before plopping on the park bench. “You’ve always been a proud girl and if I had half your power or charisma, I would have been the same. It made you a great hero, but it also made you a pain in the ass. (Y/N), there was no perfect ending to your situation. Aizawa knew that no matter what someone was going to lose something.” “Yeah well why did it have to be me who lost everything? And why did he get to decide that?” “Because you didn’t lose everything and he’s the reason you didn’t. Remember when you came into that hospital completely broken, they told you Maka was in distress. There was so much going on and another incident like that… Aizawa made the choice for him to lose you so that he could keep Maka and so Maka could keep you. You both could have died or just Maka or just you. His reason for leaving you was selfish but not his reason for choosing what he did.” (Y/N) continued to let the hot tears stream down her face as she took in her friend’s words. “I know you were hurt. I know he made a mistake not talking it over with you more. And he made an even bigger one by being a coward and running instead of sticking with you. But (Y/N) you got to let him make mistakes because he let you make yours.” “What good does any of that do me now? It’s been years and the things I’ve said to him…the way I treated him. He’d never wait so long just off hope alone.” “I don’t think that man could give up on you if he tried. Talk to him and if things don’t go the way you want, I would make an excellent step-dad!” “Stupid!” ~~~~~ “Mama’s gonna be maaaaad!” Maka sing-songed as his father’s heart pounded hard. “Yeah mad at daddy!” Keshi mocked shaking her head to feel her newly shortened hair sway back and forth. “You know better than to fall asleep with gum in your mouth.” Aizawa said fruitlessly attempting to smooth down her tangled bob. “How the hel-heck is your hair still a mess even this short?” “Well like father like daughter no?” The familiar voice came from the doorway. “Mama!” Keshi and Maka called out in unison as they ran over to the smiling woman. She ran her hand through the young girl’s short hair. “I’m sorry (Y/N). One of my students gave her bubblegum and she napped with it and it ended up in her hair and-” “I think it’s lovely. Very cute and accentuates those beautiful sleepy eyes of yours.” Aizawa couldn’t help but blush. He knew she was referring to their daughter but everyone had always said he and Keshi shared the same tired eyes. “We are very sorry ma’am!” A blonde boy said looking just a bit nervous. “We gave her some gum without asking.” (Y/N) was surprised by the small gaggle of apologetic boys standing behind her family and smiled. Knowing Aizawa, he had probably forced them to come and apologize to her. The thought made her giggle slightly. “But you’re right! She does look really cute with that haircut!” Kaminari offered rubbing his palm across the girl’s head, static electricity making it fluff up. The girl’s cheeks puffed in anger as she pulled away from him. “She’s too young for you, go away.” Aizawa said his hair slowly floating. “W-what!? That’s not what I meant!” “Hey be careful this guy’ll fall for anyone whose nice to him.” Kirishima said slinging an arm around his friend’s shoulder. “Well then I will have to be mean to him!” Keshi mumbled running to bury her pink face in her father’s leg. “Besides I like Shiso bestest. He reminds me of daddy!” “It’s Shinsou. Shiso is a type of plant.” “The kid from the Sports Festival?” (Y/N) asked Aizawa who nodded quickly. “The resemblance is uncanny. When I saw him on T.V I was sure I was looking at an old high school photo of yours. I almost thought maybe you had a secret love child you never told me about.” The woman teased. Todoroki’s eyes widened and his lips parted to speak before Midoriya gently placed a hand in front of his mouth. “We should probably get going now so you can get situated.” Iida spoke up, ushering his classmates out the door. “Mama you aren’t mad at daddy, are you?” Maka asked sweetly. “Of course not baby, hair grows back.” “Then he can come live with us and you two can get married?” The young boy asked hopefully, making Aizawa’s hair stand up on the back of his neck. Leave it to a toddler to have the attention span of a ferret when you need him to remember something and then to spill every detail to your ex-wife that you figured he would have forgotten. “Go on daddy, tell mama that you miss her!” His daughter urged pulling his fingers towards his wife and son. “Keshi, that’s enough. Go take Maka and both of you go potty before you get in the car.” Both kids seemed to be visibly disappointed that nothing seemed to change but did as their father told them. (Y/N) watched as their little bodies turned the corner and against her better judgment looked up at Aizawa. “(Y/N) I didn’t put them up to that or anything. I would never use our kids to guilt you and I ju-” “I know, Sho.” She hadn’t called him that nickname in years. He missed it even though he’d told her how much he hated it when they were together. “And when you came over and saw Ms. Joke. She and I aren’t dat-” “It’s really none of my business.” “Well it is because you need to know who’s around our babies. I’m not dating anyone, she’s just a colleague.” “I see…I’m not dating anyone either. Not even Yamada, he told me you were worried about that. I would never do that to you, you know…date your best friend.” “You’ve never even thought about it?” “You got me there. I can’t lie. He’s attractive and attentive and great with our kids but when I look at him all I see is you. If I wanted him, I would’ve chosen him back in highschool.” Aizawa was staring at the woman in awe. She was speaking with him like a normal person. There was no ill intended sarcasm or strained disinterest. He didn’t know why it was happening but he figured it didn’t matter either way. Getting onto his knees so he would be level with her eyes, Aizawa placed his hand on her knee. The young woman looked taken aback but didn’t move away or push him off. “(Y/N), I can sit here and blame you for never getting to do this. To imply that you never gave me the chance to say it would be wrong because I had three years to tell you and it shouldn’t have taken me this long to make it happen. I am so sorry for what I did to you. You needed me and I left you. I saw everything you were losing, and I didn’t stop and think that I shouldn’t let you lose me too.” The woman almost looked like she wanted to cry before scoffing and turning her head. “Idiot. None of us lost anything important. I lost a job but I found another. I lost a quirk but I found it again through Maka. Our children are both alive and happy. If anything all we lost was us…our marriage.” “This was the only way I was willing to lose you and I knew I would. I wasn’t going to let you die. I could stand to lose you as a wife but I couldn’t stand for the kids to lose their mother.” “I know. If you had a chance to go back and do things over would you have changed any of it?” “Any of it? Yeah, I would. After I made the decision, I never would have left you. You needed time and I didn’t give it to you. I’d have given you the world. But if you’re asking if my decision would have been different…no. I could live my life a thousand times and I would always choose to make that call.” “I see…” “I guess that’s not exactly what you wanted to hear.” “Well-” “We’re ready momma! Let’s go get food!” Maka said barreling into his mom’s lap. “What? Food? You little piggies are always eating! But I suppose we can grab something to eat before we head home.” “Yay! We say bye to daddy now?” Maka asked looking just a little sad. (Y/N) looked into those bright round eyes and pressed her lips to the child’s forehead before smiling brightly. “Why don’t you ask daddy if he would like to have dinner with us?” Aizawa’s head snapped up in disbelief. “Yes daddy please come eat with us!!!” His kids said now crowding around him. Looking up (Y/N) was smiling at the image of her children and their father together. “Wahhh! Daddy why are you crying now?” Keshi called him out immediately, only for the man to laugh and wipe at his eyes. “I would love to come have dinner with you guys.” “And then you come live with us? Or we live here with you!” Maka exclaimed excitedly. “One step at a time, kid.” “Come on daddy! I will race you and Maka to the car!” Keshi called out already making a bolt for the car with Maka trailing behind her. “Hurry up or you’ll lose.” “No, I don’t think I will.”

the descent into hell isn’t easy

s1 ep 2

so i got 2 notes on my last post so imma keep going

did simon just compare jace to mick jagger?!? HA!

did clary just say that she thinks jocelyn is at the center of their war?!? WhAt? look, i get that this girl wants to find her mom, but assuming that the entire shadowhunter race (also they call themselves a race) is fighting over her mom is just... idek what to call it? Arrogance? Naïveté?

also did noone think to bring the body inside?

i swear alec is so done with jace and his mundanes. his entire thing is just ‘another one?’

i’m sorry, i think my eyes just rolled down the back of my skull with the whole ‘best friends’ thing. 

can i just point out that matthew daddario is just watching isabell flirt with simon with such amusement? it’s adorable.

my god, i forgot that they torture their tutor to get info on the circle. i know hodge deserves this later, but seriously, how could clace do that?

‘i hate to make you suffer like this.’ are y’all serious? she’s borderline torturing this guy for info. somehow she makes me angrier by apologising. 

also this kinda thing is so classic. ofc none of them know their own violent history. did no-one bother to find out growing up? i hate to say this but if clary’s right about one thing, it’s the insanity behind not knowing their own history.

also, this scene is one of the first that made me sorta dislike clary. rewatching it just makes me angrier.

‘what is a g. i. joe?’ them not knowing clary and simon’s pop culture references is the funniest. refer to mick jagger above

also where the hell was she planning to go? and clary’s explanation of what a g.i. joe is is kinda off. i always assumed a g. i. joe was like an all-american hero (see steve rogers)

yikes! clary stepped on mom issues. i have no empathy/sympathy for her, she needs to calm down

‘in the shadow world, no training and no plan gets you killed’ - the first sane thing i’ve heard jace say all season.

kay, jace has got to be some kinda genius to go from ‘my memory’s blank’ to ‘your memory’s been wiped’. my memory goes blank all the time. i don’t remember what i had for dinner last night.

one more implausible thing, how doesn’t she know what a warlock is? i mean she’s 18, it’s 2016, has she not heard of Harry Potter, or LOTR for that matter? she’s simon’s best friend, she has to have come across it at some point in time.

kay, first of all, we all saw dot fall through a window about maybe 10 ft high, crack her neck on a fence and fall on the pavement. how is she still alive? 

also, i know luke’s meant to be a good guy and all, but he literally just treated dot like crap considering all she’s been through. and insinuating that she can’t be trusted when he himself was a circle member is just plain discrimination. 

also, she gets it. ‘if anyone can help, it’s magnus bane’. i get it, my baby is super powerful, but please don’t get him killed. i can already sense the magnus bane sass™️

izzy’s so pretty! and her hair is flawless. but the way she says ‘he’s the ultimate protector’, i just can’t

btw, love the inclusion of the ‘izzy can’t cook’ gag from the books. but kinda implausible that she can make porridge but completely burns toast. nvm, the porridge looks nasty (sorry, iz, i still love you though, bad porridge and all)

can i just ask that if jocelyn fray’s real name is fairchild, why would searching her pseudonym come up as restricted? also, hodge very conveniently forgot to tell them that jocelyn was married to valentine or that her real name was fairchild. that’s just sloppy.

also luke’s friendship with his boss is so pleasing to watch (terrible phrasing i know) i mean so often female captains are seen as these stoic, always angry and fierce officers with terrible relationships with their underlings. it’s nice to see her joking around with a colleague. 

clary’s uncomfortability with izzy’s clothing is canon, but she’s basically wearing a camisole. it’s a lot less revealing that izzy’s regular clothes. at least there’s no slutshaming! plus she’s gonna be wearing a jacket on top, but ofc everyone’s comfort levels are different.

I’m so glad that Clary and Izzy are both so positive towards each other. I mean compared to the books, not that bad

‘do you know how to fight demons?’ to ‘i’m an internet search away.’ simon’s the best. 😍😍

i mean, who in their right mind would approve the mission? sure, they’re not teenagers, but they’re messing with Valentine, for crying out loud. besides, we all know how much the clave prioritises down and out warlocks.

‘little girl’

‘clave thing,’ someone needs to educate this selfish matchstick. first of all, she can’t expect alec to turn his back on the clave, they need the clave’s resources to keep the institute running. second of all, she doesn’t really need to go. think about it, if alec, jace and izzy can track down a shapeshifter to a nightclub, they can handle a warlock. besides, she’d just be dead weight anyway. i just hate that clary doesn’t get better than this.

haha, alec’s salt kills me. ‘well, since you have all the answers...’ 

oh, so she’s not gonna explain the vision giving gemstone lolling around her neck? fuuun

‘you were kidding about the runes on the floor killing me right?’ alec’s smile aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i love one grumpy cat smile so much. also this is like his first smile in the 2 eps

sorry, but magnus’s face when dot grabs his arm, just like ‘bitch who do you think you are?’ 

instant priorities people. see, magnus understands the concepts of ‘risk’, ‘danger’ and ‘consequences’, unlike one matchstick i won’t name. (“I’ve been busy trying to save our people from certain death”)

hahaha, the foreshadowing -> “are you really gonna risk your life for a shadowhunter?” - this is why magnus is my fave.

okay, couple really weird things i have to point out. first off, clary sucks at running. i get that running in heels is hard, i can’t even walk in them, but i can’t believe that the entire institute doesn’t have one good pair of sneakers. second, alec is just walking in the back, that’s how slow they’re going. third, are they seriously just following clary around the club on some strange whim instead of attacking the club strategically? 

but seriously, her running though. her arms are just waggling around. seriously, guys, sneakers.

kay, clary is way too hyper right now. alec never said they were giving up, just that it wasn’t safe and they had to get back to the institute. which is absolutely true, if circle members are after dot in pandemonium, they’re probably in the vicinity

im sorry, but watching alec and izzy know exactly what jace is planning with the silent brothers and in sync just going ‘jace, no’

‘a process that can also kill you, so there’s that.’ i mean, what’s the downside?

‘your bedside manner is abysmal’ - kay, i’m still kinda pissed off rn so that’s probably coming across here, but dude, you are both adults and she needs to know the risks involved. how tf was he supposed to say that...not abysmally? sorry, im a big alec defender. i think its an older sibling thing.

wait, 18 rules? damn, jace has to have like a record or something. i reckon 18′s probably exaggerating. i’d guess at 10, maybe 12.

hold up, he’s asking clary to decide whether she should get her memories wrenched out of her by the silent brothers w/o knowing the risks involved? not a sound decision.

why is she so fucking smug towards alec? it’s kinda hard to see at first, you have to replay it a couple times. maybe it’s just me cuz im writing this late at night but her attitude towards alec really gets under my skin.

also, i think satan is on simon’s van. that’s not at all disconcerting

also, why is this all happening at night? and wasn’t isabelle making breakfast before? 

‘are you kidding? i was born afraid.’ first of all, mood. second of all, proof why simon is my child.

tbh, i really wanted to see a better brotherhood between jace and alec. like, it is still better than in the books, where jace practically ignores alec’s existence until he gets injured by Abaddon. (a moment i wish was in the tv show, but too complicated, i understand.) but i think in this scene, where they discuss the steps they’re taking, you kind of see the chemistry between them. well, not really chemistry, maybe more just their relationship. 

first off, alec tries explaining to jace that even though clary’s made the decision, they’re responsible for her wellbeing, something that isn’t in the book. i really appreciate this bit, primarily because you see why alec is so fussy about missions. as the season progresses, you see the kind of pressures that are on him, something that makes me hate clary all the more

second, jace counters this by giving him the bigger picture. this is a step they need to take to find valentine. i think that’s something the books don’t give you either. you kinda start seeing that without jace, alec gets stuck on the minor details i.e. rules, stipulations etc. and without alec, jace wouldn’t be able to calculate the risks of each decision, which i think is key to understanding them as parabatai.

third, alec’s soft little ‘you were never a stray’ tugs at my heartstrings every time. jace really is family to them, a brother for them and i love that he sort of forces that down; that despite their last names, despite their bloodlines, they will always be brothers, a sentiment i absolutely adore

haha, jace c*ckblocking simon since 2016

i’m still not over the notion that valentine is holed up in chernobyl, of all places. i am really glad though that they didn’t follow the trope of the US being like the only country in the world, or New York being the only city on the planet.

did i mention how confused i am that dot is still alive?

yeah, did not miss jace’s arrogance

‘kay despite the fact that i hate everything about her, i have to commend clary on how much she loves her mom. i mean, i know a lot of people who wouldn’t do the same. and despite the fact that jocelyn lied to her for 12 years (based on what she tells magnus later on) she’s still willing to do whatever it takes.

‘you’re clary freaking fray, you can do anything.’ cue alec eye-rolling in the back. look, it’s not that i have anything against simon and clary being vocal about their bff status, it’s just that a) i would never talk to my best friend like that and b) it is thoroughly making me cringe

kay, i’ve rewatched this scene a dozen times and here’s what i noticed

‘i have seen every horror movie ever and the funny best friend who gets left behind...dead man’

cue isabelle laughing

jace: you’re not that funny

alec is just so done with these f*cking mundanes. “the rune energy will kill any mundane that dares to enter, so please.” motions for the mundie to keep going. 

kay, before i keep going, i’ve noticed this post is going on for a bit, and re-reading, i feel like i have to clarify why i dislike jace’s arrogance but not alec’s. i think it’s mainly because jace’s arrogance stems from a need to be superior to others, which is common with victims of child abuse, or so i’ve read. knowing this makes it a little harder to hate him, but this kind of behaviour, while is justifiable, often leads to them tearing down another person’s self-worth, which you can kind of see in the books. alec’s arrogance mainly stems from being exhausted from dealing with other people’s bullshit, which i can’t really dislike. i’m an older sibling myself, so i kinda know what he goes through dealing with siblings and such. you’ll see with the next point.

‘talk about sacrifice, i’m missing a financial analysis class.’ first off, what kind of class starts in the middle of the night? second, i’d rather be in the city of bones than in financial analysis. third, i feel alec’s exasperation.

‘yeah, i can’t be around this, so imma mind the perimeter.’ *gestures to simon’s entire body*

i dunno why clary’s hugging simon like that, it’s not like he’s the one going down there. i’m gonna move on before i overanalyse and come up with more ways why i don’t like clary

izzy keeps making simon uneasy and I LIVE FOR THESE MOMENTS

aight, imma keep it honest, i skipped the whole city of bones/clace section the first time cuz they’re so boring. but it’s pretty much just jace making stupid jokes and clary being kinda whiny.

‘looking better in black than the widows of our enemies.’ a line that lives rent-free in my head.

also, he keeps saying she’s a shadowhunter now, but she hasn’t done much shadowhunting. she doesn’t even know what the clave is

aand now they’re holding hands. great. very professional y’all.

silent brothers. looking creepy since the dawn of nephilim. but for my book stans, where’s brother smackariah?

imma be honest, i feel bad for the silent brothers. i mean, they’ve devoted themselves completely to the shadowhunter profession, mutilated themselves for the attainment of knowledge, and yet, the first thing that comes to mind is fear instead of admiration. yikers.

“if you are not strong enough, the soul sword will kill you.” this show needs to stop getting my hopes up

“it literally never stops talking.” i love alec with all my heart.

i know i shouldn’t but it’s so funny that they keep referring to simon as ‘it’

“my father is valentine.” cue matchstick running. 

alec is the only sane person on this team. how is he the only one that doubts clary’s loyalty? i mean, i’ll admit he could have phrased it better, but book!Alec is canon for being straightforward so i’m shrugging it off. jace should’ve been a leetle understanding and for once, i think clary’s reaction towards alec was justified. finding out she’d valentine’s daughter, and then being accused of espionage isn’t a fortunate series of events. but alec is correct in his own right. as head of the institute, he needs to make sure. again, he’s always mindful of the consequences behind his actions. even when simon is kidnapped, he doesn’t act rashly, even though no-one would blame him for sticking an arrow through Raphael for kidnapping Simon. (don’t get me wrong, i love raphael.) but he doesn’t, keeping the accords in mind. they’d all be screwed if they broke the law, and alec would be held responsible.

that’s all folks. tune in tomorrow for episode 3

(long post, but I’m gonna try and make journalling a thing in 2021 😆)

The first day of the new year was nice. :) I woke up to the sounds of rain crashing against my windowsills - a strangely chilly morning in this tropical country where it’s summer all year round. For a moment it felt like I was back in Canada again, all cloudy grey skies and whimsical rain - the perfect weather for introspection. 

I started my day with a pot of hot green tea, then settled down by my reading lamp to finish a book that I’ve been putting off for far too long - Steinbeck’s East of Eden. I only had about forty pages left, but somehow couldn’t bring myself to finish it. I hate when books end because it feels like that little world I’ve created and compartmentalised in my head has likewise ceased, but the good thing about books is that you can always re-read them and immerse yourself in the same fantasy. (Maybe even a different one, if the same words lend themselves to a different interpretation!) But it truly was an absolute masterpiece: such a stunning, intricate exploration of humanity that tugged at my heartstrings and led me into still waters of reflection. I know that I will definitely carry this tale in my heart for a long, long time to come. 

Afterwards, I had some instant ramen while watching The Queen’s Gambit. I’m not a big fan of watching shows usually because I often feel like they move too slowly or tend to miss details from the book, but this one is pretty exceptional. Like, the acting and the artistic direction are incredible - the constant juxtaposition between Beth’s traumatic past and her glorified present, and the exploration of the fallibility of genius were executed so brilliantly. Another thing that really stood out to me were the scenes where she’d hole herself in the toilet and rebuke herself aloud for weaknesses in her play and/or being weak, in general. I cannot begin to explain how many times I’ve done that to myself in law school for even the most trivial of infractions, the most minor of errors - Lord knows I’m my harshest critic. 

I promised to try, however, to be a little bit kinder to myself in 2021. My perfectionism tends to be a bar to goodness and growth because sometimes I get so afraid that my subconscious keeps demanding that my first draft has to be perfect. But it really doesn’t. That’s what editing is for. And writing, like any other talents and passions, requires nurturing and constant practice. I saw a quote yesterday about how we cannot just sit around and magically expect to be Faulkners overnight, and that is so true. I definitely need to find a sweet spot where I’m not berating myself to the point of giving up, but still demand growth so that I can keep bettering myself. 

In the evening I headed out to a friend’s for tacos, which were an absolute delight in itself. And then my bf and I got to walk his dog, who I am convinced is the most precious thing in the entire universe - maybe even more so than my bf himself (I kid... or maybe not) - and who is just such a gentle-natured darling. It began to drizzle, so she led us home and we spent the rest of the night playing Sherlock and Among Us with the rest. :) It was a very peaceful evening. For a moment I’d forgotten all about the fact that I start work next Monday and was simply content to bask in the Christmas lights, the heavy downpour and the anomalous chill that came along with it. Just... living in the present, enjoying the moment. 

Now that’s definitely something else on my to-do list for 2020 as well. So often the beauty of the present tends to be marred by my worries and anxieties of the future, but I always remind myself of this quote from Scripture: “Which one of you, by worrying, can add another day to his life?” And when I look back at my life and all the times I’ve worried and fretted and cried, feeling like there was no way for us to extricate ourselves from this rut, this perennial cycle of debt and other things that have plagued me from birth, I am also reminded of God’s grace and providence that has brought me through so, so much. It would’ve been impossible to have done all of this by myself; I frankly might not have had the will to continue living if not for those things. 

Talking about my lived experiences also ties in to the last part of my day - where I thought about how exclusive and inaccessible the poetry scene here feels. You would think otherwise, in a country of no more than 5-6 million folks, but no. I was ranting about this a little to my boyfriend: how it feels like a lot of the spaces within are reserved for the elites of society with silver spoons in their mouths and golden plates on their tables offering them anything they wanted while I was struggling to put food on the table at fourteen. Sometimes I also lament the fact that I didn’t have my parents to tell me bedtime stories, to encourage me to read and cultivate my vocabulary. Perhaps it’s jealousy, or inferiority, or a mix of both. 

But my boyfriend, ever wise and supportive, offered me a different perspective. He made a fair point about how I still fell in love with books and writing regardless, and how literature is oftentimes only a harbour that the privileged visit because the marginalised, the poor are too busy working for basic necessities to even think about such things. To the ordinary blue-collar layperson, poetry is just frankly a frivolous sentiment that won’t turn itself into gold. I agree with this wholeheartedly. It’s one of the reasons why I always felt like I didn’t have time to write, and one of the reasons why my first job was at a library (so I could read as much as I wanted! For free!). Then he said, “But see, no one wants to read about the rich waxing poetic about how lovely and grand their sunny little island is. But people will want to read about your perspective - your poems of the brokenhearted clinging on desperately to their inner child, your poems about the poor working to make ends’ meet, your poems about your tangible struggles - all of those will resonate with the masses, for sure.” And I was like, well, that’s fair. But I certainly don’t express myself as eloquently as these people do. Next to them I’m like an uncultured swine who can’t even tell the difference between all the different forks splayed on the table. 

His response was that people need to understand these things before appreciating them, and sometimes simplicity works best - a lesson that’s been drilled into us from the very inception of law school. And I was like, okay, fair, but deep down my heart was exploding with the sheer warmth of having someone so incredibly supportive of everything I do, even if it’s worthless in society’s eyes. I remember one night when I was telling him about how, as a twelve-year-old, I had a dream to one day study Literature at Yale. I would hole myself up in the library after school, feverishly flipping through books to expand my imaginations and horizons, my mental dictionary of words, dreaming about the day where I could escape all of this and dwell in nothing but imaginative worlds one day. Where reality failed me, I knew that I could always count on my imagination to transport me to somewhere safe and special, filled with joy and sorrow and tragedy and hope. 

I ended up studying law. Not a bad thing, because as stressful as it was I really did enjoy the things I’ve learnt - international and constitutional law, especially - and it has certainly given me new, mature perspectives on so many things; taught me to argue with reason and objectivity instead of just emotion and passion and has led me to meet so many wonderful (also trashy, but I’m out of this hellhole) people. I just don’t like the fact that 80-hour work weeks are the norm and that there’s always so much to... read. If you gave me a piece of fiction I could happily indulge in it for hours, but sometimes judgments can be so ridiculously mundane to read, especially if they’re just itemising every single case on illegality from the 19th century. Lord knows I need at least two cups of coffee for that. Black, to be specific. 

Anyway, I digress (as I always do lmao). My bf ended up researching all night until he stumbled across this Literature programme at Harvard - which frankly sounds amazing, but also unattainable. Which was what I said. And he was like, “Do I think it’s impossible? No. I think you have a very compelling life story, and you’re full of amazing stories within you to tell. And if you want to do it, I will support you wholeheartedly.” 

Again, as is usually the case, I had nothing left to offer apart from muted sobs under my blanket. It still sounds absurd to me - unthinkable, even - but I am just so, so grateful to have someone like him support me through everything. Literally everything. This is the man who has spent hours tutoring me in the subjects that I was hopeless in in first year, because I was too busy tutoring random folks in economics and geography and catching up on sleep (in class, no less), who has patiently helped me prepare for every single mooting competition and watched every single one of them, who has seen me cry and admonish myself for being a failure (only to spend hours trying to convince me otherwise), who has celebrated every single one of my victories and losses - you deserve a treat, anyway! Let’s go eat something nice and put it behind us, for now! This is the same man who has so much passion for what he does, who is so darn good at it without even realising that he is (I wept when he won a mooting competition this year because I was so proud of and happy for him), and who inspires confidence and compassion in me every day. 

I am grateful to share all our triumphs and tribulations together, and I look forward to starting a new chapter in life with you. :) 

Guide To Writing Faded Love

WORDSNSTUFFBLOG.COM HAS NOW LAUNCHED!

-- This is a thorough guide to writing love that has faded, either quickly or over time, and hopefully you romance writers will find it useful. There’s some general tips outlined, some common questions answered, and some resources linked at the bottom. Happy writing!

You can also find this article (and more) at wordsnstuffblog.com

Patreon // Ko-Fi || Masterlists || Work In Progress || Studyblr || Studygram

The Slow Reveal

It’s important to slowly reveal why the love faded, and the manner in which it did. Was it a slow, slippery fall into a routine of just.. not trying? Was it a quick burst of passion that lead to quick commitment and then ended up being extremely short? Reveal that to the reader, and do it carefully. Tug at their heartstrings, and make them feel it. Don’t reveal it too quick either. Show them the good days, and then show them rotting. It’s that much more bitter sweet that way.

Bring The Characters To Unpack The Big Issue

It’s important to remember that your story will actually read by real people, and whether or not you mean for it to, the story will send a message. It’s vital to keep in mind that no matter the ending to your lovers’ story, they need to be the ones to propel it. No exterior factor can fix or break a relationship. Financial struggle, infidelity, distance, difference, and betrayal are not the causes of a failed relationship, or a faded love. A good rule of thumb is to think “if this factor couldn’t bring the love back, then it couldn’t drive it away either”, and that will always bring you to the conclusion that the only thing that can resolve an issue is the lovers themselves.

Let The Characters Grow, Even If Apart

Not all faded love comes back. Not all faded love stays dull forever. What’s more important than the love returning, is the fate of those who felt it in the first place. Both characters should learn something important, and both characters should be on the path to where they’re meant to be by the end, even if that isn’t with each other.

Love Is A Choice, Not A Chance

I know this is a difficult thing to understand, especially with the way love it typically framed in fiction, but at the heart of every larger-than-life romance, is the choice that was made to conceive it. Love is preserved in the choices people make to keep it alive. There isn’t a person out there who would tell you that they had a perfect love story without any compromise or conscious decision to stay and conserve it. If the love has gone away, it’s not because the couple was unlucky, it’s because one or both of them made a choice. Explain what choice(s) that was and why it was made in the first place.

The Little Things Build Up

It is never one big event or argument or struggle that makes love fade. It’s lots of little things, that each partner overlooks because “it’s not a big deal”, “they’ll get over it”, or “we’ve been through worse and gotten through it”. Show this, and make it hit home. This is the time to insert relatability, and the time to make the reader reflect on their own relationship(s), past or present. 

Common Struggles

~ Couples who recognize early on that the fire is going out... There are three types of couples: the ones who try desperately to fix it before it gets critical, the ones who let it simmer and get worse, or the ones who give up immediately. Determine which type your couple is based on their personalities and motivations, then go from there.

~ Depicting faded love vs. evolved relationship dynamic... Faded love is just that. When two people love each other, it’s easy to tell that they’re more comfortable than they are bored or even unhappy. Show this through the little things, and through the way both parties react in mundane situations. 

For instance, when choosing a paint color, two people who love each other may bicker, but it would show that they’re both confident that no matter the outcome, it will be a compromise and that the tension won’t long because, in the end, it’s just paint. For a couple whose love has faded, the paint would act as a channel for bigger issues, and the argument wouldn’t really be about paint. That would show in the way their argument escalates.

~ Showing the confusion between love and infatuation... This isn’t always the case for faded love, and for the most part I’d say it usually isn’t because time passing is a major factor in this category of failed relationship, but two people failing to differentiate these two things can often lead to what is mistaken for faded love. Your love can’t fade if you were only ever infatuated with each other, so be careful in this territory. 

Stories that are meant to be about faded love, but are based on infatuation that went too far, often fall flat, and the necessary trends that are exclusively for faded love will leave a nasty taste in the reader’s mouth. Arguments between two people who loved each other, but now don’t, are completely different than ones between two people who thought they were in love, but never were. The latter often comes across as abuse, rather than tragic loss of true connection, because the tropes don’t work.

~ How do you show what love fading feels like?... You have to have experience, or have a really practical imagination. Simply, put yourself into different shoes, even if they’re yours from the past, and trust your instincts based on what you have been through. We all know someone who has experienced this in some form, if not ourselves, so don’t be ashamed of asking for others’ stories and recollection. Emotional research is just as valid as any other, and just like representing a mental illness, you will be representing this experience differently than anyone else has ever felt it, so accept that. 

~ Parents hiding their situation from the kids... This is a tricky one, because this area is where it gets real, and it starts insinuating aspects of your perspective. A lot of  why a lot of couples who don’t love each other stay together (realistically) is religion, traditional values, and shame. These are viewed very differently by any given reader, and is the easiest spot to push some buttons and accidentally push your personal voice through to the point of them noticing. 

That aside, I would approach this, like the emotional aspect, from an empathetic angle. Imagine how the kids would feel, how the tension would build, why it would build, how the parents would feel, how the parents’ interactions with the kids would be impacted, etc. Simply, put some time aside to think long and hard about this situation and all its implications.

~ How would a couple revive their love for one another?... That depends on the individuals in the relationship. As I said before, there are three ways a couple would respond to this, and the way they respond greatly impacts the way they would solve the issue. Some would fight for a while and wait for the love to just.. come back. Some would simply call it quits. Some would be in complete denial. You decide, and base it on the characters’ personalities and motivations. Not just what they want in general, but what they want out of the relationship, because whatever they have to fight for is what will determine they strategy they use to do so.

Resources

Angst Prompts

How To Make A Scene More Heartfelt

20 Mistakes To Avoid When Writing Young Adult Fiction/Romance

A Guide To Tension & Suspense In Your Writing

Writing Arguments Between Characters

Pros and Cons of Different Points Of View

Tips On Writing Intense Scenes

Resources For Romance Writers

Useful Writing ResourcesUseful Writing Resources II

Resources For Describing Emotions

Giving Characters Bad Traits

Support Wordsnstuff!

FIND MORE ON WORDSNSTUFFBLOG.COM

If you enjoy my blog and wish for it to continue being updated frequently and for me to continue putting my energy toward answering your questions, please consider Buying Me A Coffee, or pledging your support on Patreon.

Request Resources, Tips, Playlists, or Prompt Lists

Instagram // Twitter //Facebook //#wordsnstuff

FAQ //monthly writing challenges // Masterlist

MY CURRENT WORK IN PROGRESS (Check it out, it’s pretty cool. At least I think it is.)

Studyblr || Studygram

Check out my YouTube Channel!

Arachnids In The UK - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Spiders. It had to be fucking spiders, didn’t it?

Normally I watch each episode multiple times before writing a review in order to pick up on every nuance and detail. With Arachnids In The UK however, I just about managed two viewings and that was a Herculean effort I can tell you because... you know... fucking spiders. So apologies if this review isn’t as detailed as previous ones. Frankly you should be grateful you’re even getting a review of this at all because... you know... FUCKING SPIDERS!

So then. Let’s talk about the fucking spiders. The fear factor of this episode will depend on how you feel about spiders in general. If you’re one of those weirdos who keep tarantulas as pets (seriously, what’s wrong with a dog or a gerbil or something? Can’t you just be normal?), then you probably found this quite quaint. If however you’re like me, a confirmed arachnophobic and colossal wuss, Arachnids In The UK most likely terrified the fucking life out of you.

But wait. It gets worse. I would have been shitting myself if the spiders were regular sized, but that’s not enough for Chris Chibnall. Oh no. These spiders are ever so slightly bigger than that. How big, I hear you ask? Think Aragog from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Yeah. That big.

At this point I’d like to extend a massive fuck you to Doctor Who’s special effects department for really putting in an almost criminal amount of time and effort into making these giant, eight legged demons from hell look as photo realistic as possible. Each individual, computer generated hair rendered with absolute care and attention to detail, making the spiders that much more skin crawling to look at. I mean it wasn’t as if I was planning to sleep that night anyway.

I also have to begrudgingly commend Sallie Aprahamian for her direction. The lighting, camera angles and use of sound really help create a creepy atmosphere and build tension effectively. Because spiders, even massive spiders, aren’t the type of monsters to jump out and attack you directly. No, the little fuckers like to sneak up on you and catch you unawares, and that’s what this episode really takes advantage of.

So what reason did Chris Chibnall come up with for giant fucking spiders to exist? Genetic experiments and toxic waste. Stupid? Yes, but so is the idea of a wooden blue box travelling through time and space, so let’s not get too critical. Just pretend that scientist works for Norman Osborn from the Marvel Comics and go with it.

Let’s move away from the spiders (quickly please) and talk about the characters because they’re, once again, the strongest part of the show. The Doctor is still just as delightful as ever with Jodie Whittaker switching from comedy to drama effortlessly. I especially liked at the beginning of the episode where she’s noticeably sad to be saying goodbye to her new friends only for her face to light up again when Yasmin invites her for tea. After Steven Moffat’s ‘the Doctor lies’ bullshit and Twelve acting all brooding and stoic, it’s refreshing to see a Doctor who displays their emotions openly. I also liked the way she interacted with the spiders. While everyone else is understandably shitting themselves, the Doctor is the only one who tries to give the spiders any kind of dignity, even going so far as to comfort the giant mummy spider at the end as it dies. She doesn’t view them as disgusting or frightening. They’re living creatures like her and deserve the same kindness she would give to a human.

Of course the main purpose of Arachnids In The UK is to get the companions to sign up for more adventures and I really like how this is done for the most part. Ryan is very quickly becoming my favourite companion and Tosin Cole is clearly having a lot of fun in the role. My favourite scene in the whole episode was him using grime music to lure spiders into the panic room. That got such a big laugh out of me. He’s just a really likeable character and I love how he’s growing and developing. He’s come a long way since The Woman Who Fell To Earth. He’s become a lot more confident and I think it’s because he feels he can achieve great things with the Doctor. He likes that he feels valued by her and that’s nice to see. And he clearly still has a lot more room to grow as shown by his scenes with Graham, which are easily the highlight of the episode. His negligent father wants Ryan to move back in with him, calling himself his ‘proper family,’ which irks Ryan. Over the course of these four episodes, Ryan and Graham have grown so much closer as Ryan slowly starts to let Graham in. I love their camaraderie and the understated love between them and I can’t wait for the episode where Ryan finally calls Graham ‘grandad’.

Graham too is brilliant. We see him return to his home and start properly coming to terms with a life without Grace and I love how it’s portrayed. New Who has an unfortunate tendency to really overegg the pudding when it wants to elicit an emotional reaction from the audience (see the Tenth Doctor’s farewell tour or the Eleventh and Twelfth Doctor’s ghastly final monologues). Chris Chibnall so far really seems to understand that less is more and the same is true here. There’s no obnoxiously loud sad music or sappy monologues. In fact the imaginary conversations Graham has with Grace are actually quite mundane, talking about when to put the bins out and things like that. What makes these scenes so powerful is Bradley Walsh. His performance, his facial expressions, everything he does sells the pain and heartbreak Graham is going through. It’s truly an acting masterclass that puts the previous showrunners attempts to tug at the heartstrings to shame.

I’m very curious to see what happens to Graham going forward. Him wanting to travel with the Doctor in order to cope with his grief and avoid knocking around an empty house is quite a compelling reason to become a companion. Haven’t really seen that done before. And... is it just me, but is this coming across as a bit... death wish-y? What with this and his cancer recovery as well, I’m deeply worried something bad is going to happen to him come the end of the series. I really hope not. I would be devastated.

Finally there’s Yasmin and... yeah, I’ve mentioned before how I’m not exactly warming to her. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate her. Mandip Gill is doing a great job with the material she’s being given and Yasmin is a nice enough person, but as I’ve said in previous reviews, she comes off as a bit superfluous. Even the introduction of her family doesn’t really do much to establish her as a key member of Team TARDIS. In fact she’s coming across as an amalgamation of Rose Tyler and Martha Jones. Rose because of her desire to find something more in her life and Martha because she wants to get away from her boring and annoying one dimensional family. She doesn’t really stand out as her own character and I put it down mostly to the ensemble cast. It’s the classic case of ‘two is company, but three is a crowd.’ It’s the same reason why Susan and Adric got sidelined in the classic series (as well as the fact that Adric was an irritating little shit that deserved to be smacked upside the head) and she just pales in comparison to Ryan and Graham, whose characters and storylines are much stronger and more interesting. I really hope she gets a chance to shine soon because so far I honestly couldn’t care less about her, and considering she’s the first ever Muslim companion, that’s really disappointing.

Since we’ve shifted to criticism, lets talk about the supporting cast. Yasmin’s family, as I said, are quite boring. They’re just your typical family with the typical overbearing mum (maybe it’s time for New Who to consider stopping all the family stuff now). The scientist... exists, doing nothing other than to introduce the spiders as a plot device and occasionally give exposition on spider ecosystems. Finally there’s the hotel guy, played by Chris Noth who tries to wring every last drop of comedy out of the part and is actually quite amusing on occasion, but sadly doesn’t have an actual character as such other than being a painfully on the nose parody of Donald Trump. Not only is this futile in and of itself because some could argue that Trump is so extreme that he’s practically impossible to satirise, but also nothing ever really comes of it. He’s a prick at the beginning, he’s a prick at the end, and there’s no real payoff or satisfying closure. Not only does he not learn his lesson, I actually found myself agreeing with him a few times. Like what’s the difference between shooting the spiders and locking them in a panic room so they can eventually starve to death? And what was the Doctor planning to do once she herded the giant mummy spider out of the ballroom? Set it up in a nice cozy bedsit? And if it’s suffocating to death anyway because its lungs have grown too big and can’t absorb enough oxygen, wouldn’t shooting it be the kindest thing to do at that point?

While I’m on the subject of guns, how the fuck is his bodyguard able to get away with carrying a gun in Sheffield? You’re not in America now, sunshine. And how come Yasmin, the police officer, doesn’t do anything about it or the fact that her mother was wrongfully dismissed? (at gunpoint. I need to keep pointing that out. Her mum was fired from her job at gunpoint in Sheffield). Come on Chibnall!

Arachnids In The UK has flaws to be sure, but its excellent execution of the main plot and threat as well as its genuinely touching and heartwarming moments between the main characters that help it stand out. The weakest episode so far, but still very enjoyable.

Ridiculous (Sehun)

Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. Well... Maybe it wasn’t unbelievable, more like extremely upsetting. Ever since you were young you knew this was your destiny. Albeit, when you were young you didn’t really understand love so the idea of an arranged marriage was like finding Prince Charming; it would be love at first sight. As you got to your teens, you completely forgot about it. Your parents never brought it up. Little did you know, they were always planning for it, finding the perfect candidate to better their business deals. Now, here you were, sitting in a luxury hotel conference room, before your future in-laws, beside your husband-to-be.

You try to smile, despite crying your eyes out earlier while begging your parents to stop this. All you got in response was a callous ‘your father and I had an arranged marriage and look how in love we are now.’ That’s not what you wanted. Why should you have to learn to love someone? Shouldn’t you love someone because you loved them from the start? It didn’t matter. It was too late now. You and Sehun sign the marriage registration forms with your parents as witnesses. They take the forms quickly and would have them legalized within the hour. Ah, the power power of rich families with their eyes set on how much more they can make. They excuse you both and practically kick you out of the hotel. That would probably be the last you’d ever see of your parents again since you were just a part of a business deal. A pawn for their convenience.

“This is ridiculous,” Sehun huffs angrily while opening the passenger side door of his sports car for you. You thank him quietly and slide in, putting the seatbelt on and staring mindlessly out the window. “Listen, I’m not happy about this at all. You seem like a great girl, but let’s just agree to see this as a roommates kind of situation.”

“Okay,” you didn’t really care for what he had to say. You would rather wallow in self-pity for a while. After a silent drive, he pulls into your new home’s, mansion’s, garage and opens the door for you again. You nearly fall out of the car as you were mindlessly leaning against it while zoning out. Thankfully, your seatbelt saves you from face-planting into the cement. You walk into the house and sigh. “Isn’t this a bit too big for just two people?” You look at Sehun who shrugs and disappears into the house without another word. You search through the whole house for him and find him in the master bedroom on his laptop, working on something his father must have sent over. You quietly slide into the bed, not even earning a glance from Sehun. You watch him work while listening to the tapping of his keyboard. He was quite handsome. You thanked your parents for not marrying you off to some creepy old man, at the very least.

Such was your life for the next two years. You didn’t mind it so much. You lived your life as usual during the day and greeted Sehun when he came home from work at night. You’d sit with him at dinner and listen to talk about his day or sometimes he’d talk about himself. You’d clean up and meet him in the bedroom. Some times he’d work on his laptop and other times you’d satisfy each others’ sexual urges, the latter being his preferred option. Your relationship was little more than friends with benefits, but you slowly found yourself falling for him.

You’d picked up on his little habits, likes and dislikes. A few times he’d forget something at home and ask you to bring it to the office for him. He’d meet you at the front desk and thank you. People would whisper, the word “wife” slipping out constantly. Sehun didn’t really acknowledge you as that, and you never saw yourself as one, but it did make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. He took you out on the weekends, although he’d be too preoccupied with phone calls from the office to pay any attention to you. It didn’t matter. It was the thought that counted. To others it was probably mundane and loveless life, but you were content with how things turned out. Maybe your mom was right, you could learn to love someone. Maybe Sehun would do the same for you in time. Unlikely, but a girl could dream.

“Fuck!” You quickly rush downstairs when you hear Sehun slam the front door shut.

“What’s wrong?” You look up at him with worried eyes and it tugs at his heartstrings. He felt guilty for the way he had treated you the past couple of years, but he wasn’t going to let his parents win. His mother’s words ran through his head as he looked at you; ‘you’ll learn to love her. She’s a lovely young lady.’ She was right and he hated it. He didn’t feel anything in particular for you at first. You were cute, but he wasn’t going to let himself think about it too much. As time went by, he saw how sincere you were about him and making the best of your situation. As if he weren’t feeling guilty enough about taking advantage of your feelings, you hug him and pressed your forehead against his chest. You rub his back gently, trying to calm him down. “Hey... It’s okay. What happened? Is it something I can help with?” He wraps his arms around you, hands resting gently on your lower back.

“I’m sorry...” You must have been hearing things. He’s sorry?

“Why? You didn’t do anything to me.”

“Yes, I did...”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry,” he says breathlessly. He sounds close to tears. You’re beyond confused. He rage seems to have subsided and you lead him to the bedroom. He follows you quietly, head hung low. You get him to sit down on the bed and you sit on the floor.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong now?” He nods. He wordlessly hands you his phone and you see a voicemail from his father. You cautiously press play and hold the phone to your ear.

“I’m sure you’re very busy if you couldn’t even take my call.” You scoff. What was with the attitude? Of course he’s busy! You work him like a machine. “Sehun, you’ve done a great job these past few years. You’ve really proven yourself as worthy of succeeding me some day. The companies are still prospering after that merger, but nothing is secured unless you have children. They could still back out and take their daughter with them. We’ll give you three months. If you fail to provide results I’ll be taking you off the will. Indefinitely. I heard from your assistant that you were feeling guilty about taking advantage of your wife’s feelings for you. That’s called leverage. Don’t be stupid.” You bite your lip and set the phone aside. Sehun starts to chuckle, defeated.

“This is ridiculous.”

“You said that the first time we met,” you smile. You’re surprised you even remembered that.

“I’ve been bad to you.” You shake your head and place your hands in your lap.

“You’ve been pretty good to me. I’m still living, right?”

“Those are some pretty low standards.”

“I don’t ask for much.”

“I-- I didn’t want them to get their way. They said I’d learn to love you. I told them they could marry me off to anyone, but I’d prove I could succeed without their mergers and shady deals. I ignored you and I abused your feelings to prove them wrong.” He scoffs, “but I guess they’re always right. I did fall for you and I felt so guilty for letting you think I didn’t care. I couldn’t let them know they were right again. I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. I was nothing short of terrible to you, but I can’t make you do this.” He finally lifts his head. His eyes meet yours and for once you saw a bit of emotion. Was it love? You hoped so.

“What do you want to do?”

“Whatever you want to do. I’m not the one who has to carry a baby for the next nine months.”

“I wouldn’t mind having a baby if it’s yours... But, you know, your parents won’t stop there. They’ll keep asking you for more.” He smiles apologetically and holds his arms out for you. You hesitantly stand up from the floor and sit in his lap. He puts his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“You’re right. God, seems like everyone is right except for me,” he laughs. “I know this won’t be easy, but...” Whatever his answer, you were ready. “If we cut ourselves off we could both be free.” What? “I’ve got enough experience working under my father to start up my own company. Our parents will probably do everything they can to keep me from succeeding, but... I want to start over with you. I could never ask you to having my child under these circumstances.”

“I’ll be there for you. Till death do we part, right?”

--

“Sunwoo! Stop running away!” You fall to your hands and knees with your son’s pajamas in hand. You finished bathing him and he ran away in his towel as quickly as possible. The terrible twos were a real bitch. You hear the front door opening then see your son running to greet Sehun in his towel. You collapse, giving up.

“Hello there,” Sehun picks him up with a small grunt. “What are you doing not in your pajamas?” He walks in and sees you lying on the floor. “And what are you doing on the floor?” You wave Sunwoo’s pajamas as a surrender flag. Sehun takes them from you and sets your son down on the couch, dressing him. You pull yourself up off the floor and sit on the couch beside your son.

“How was work?”

“The same as usual. Dad’s finding every way to bar my entry to big business, but we’re doing alright. I don’t intend to be his competition anyways.” He’s aged a lot, emotionally and physically. The day he brought you to announce your severance from your families he aged ten years. He was still handsome though. He’d always be number one in your eyes.

“I didn’t expect you to give up your inheritance,” you say absentmindedly.

“How much of an asshole did you take me for?”

“Either way I still ended up getting pregnant.” Sehun finishes dressing Sunwoo and he runs away again. You really couldn’t keep up with that kid.

“Yeah, but who knows where we’d be now if we did what my parents asked. They’d probably be asking you to sell your kidneys.”

“Yeah, but then you wouldn’t have had to give up your sports car and fancy house.”

“Do you miss those?”

“I’m not even able to catch Sunwoo in our tiny apartment, you think I’m about to chase him through a mansion?”

“You’re really okay like this?”

“I’d rather live in a cardboard box knowing you loved me than that big empty house wondering when you’d love me back.”

“I’m sorry for putting you through that.”

You share a sweet kiss, “well, you have the rest of your life to make up for that.” He sends you off in the direction of the bedroom and goes to tuck Sunwoo in for you. You look back, smiling when he picks Sunwoo up and kisses his little face. “I forgave you a long time ago, but you don’t have to know that.”

✰——————————

I remember seeing this hilarious post where someone begged scenario writers to put the “read more” line if our scenarios were super long because they’d have to scroll forever. Thus, there’s a “read more” line this time. I don’t usually do this, but I think I might start doing it just because I want to write longer scenarios. :D

Reaper76Week - Day 5 - Here Comes the Sun (G)

Title: Here Comes the Sun Pairing: Reaper76 Rating: General Tags: Fluff, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Police Summary:

Before he even has a moment to register what he's saying and put a stop to it, his mouth drops a bomb that takes the both of them by surprise.  

“I can play guitar. If you're okay with it, I can fill in. I'm off Tuesday.”

Day 5 of Reaper76Week - “Over the Airwaves”

Also on AO3 here: Here Comes the Sun

Gabriel catches Jack looking utterly despondent one morning, brows furrowed and a very uncharacteristic frown on his face. He's staring at his phone, and whatever seems to have upset him must be serious, given how Jack doesn't even seem to notice he had a new customer.

“Why the long face?” Gabriel asks as he lets the door swing quiet shut behind him.

“Oh!” Jack gasps, visibly startled by Gabriel's sudden presence in the store. He hastily straightens up off from where he's leaning over the counter and tries to put on a smile. “Good Morning, Gabriel.”

It's only been a few months, but it's long enough to know the differences in Jack's expressions. Jack is giving him a fake, customer service smile, and that doesn't sit well at all with him. Gabriel frowns.

“Did something happen?” he asks again. Daily routine moves his body to fetch a set of tongs and a tray, and Gabriel catches himself unconsciously browsing the shelves for his breakfast as he continues to talk with Jack.

“You could say that, yeah,” Jack sighs. The fake smile drops off his face and he looks down at his phone with a gloomy expression on his face before putting it away. He finishes organizing the tray of macarons that had previously sat temporarily forgotten in front of him and sets it in its proper place inside the refrigerated display case.

“Wanna tell me about it?” Gabriel goes with a western omelette breakfast quiche — which he convinced Jack to start making after being scolded for choosing a croissant for 4 days in a row just to spite Jack after he realized Jack was intentionally hiding his favorite sour cream and chives scones from him — this morning, and hands the tray and tongs over.

Jack shrugs noncommittally at first, as he pops the quiche into the small toaster oven beside the coffee machine, and it's only after he gets Gabriel's coffee that he actually answers.

“So you know how I have Family Fundays now?”

Gabriel nods, eyes briefly glancing over to the corner of the bakery near the cafe area where a low stage is located — made significantly less conspicuous by the standing baskets of baguettes and other easily-moved displays of baked goods — and recalling the chalkboard sign outside advertising story hours and other family-friendly entertainment on Tuesday nights at the bakery.

“Well, I originally had my buddy Lúcio scheduled to come in and do a puppet show, but-” Jack began, taking the now-warmed and toasted quiche from the oven.

“Wait,  the Lúcio? That really famous DJ?” Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up. The implication that Jack knows someone so famous — and had him do something so local and small, to boot — surprised him so much he had to stop and recount his coins before handing it over to Jack.

“Yeah, that Lúcio. He and I have been friends for almost 10 years now. We met on the internet,” Jack replied, tone nonchalant as if he were talking about something so mundane as the weather. “Anyway, he said he was gonna be in town Tuesday, offered to come visit me and do a puppet show for the kids. But something came up so now he can't make it, and I don't have anything lined up to replace him.”

A dispirited sigh falls from Jack's lips as he hands Gabriel back his change in bills and slides the tray of coffee, quiche, and the scone he didn't order but knows better than to protest about. And damn if the sadness on Jack's face didn't tug at Gabriel's heartstrings.

Before he even has a moment to register what he's saying and put a stop to it, his mouth drops a bomb that takes the both of them by surprise.

“I can play guitar. If you're okay with it, I can fill in. I'm off Tuesday.”

“Really?!” The way Jack's face lights up immediately drives the nail into the proverbial coffin. Even if there had been a chance for Gabriel to take his words back, there was no possible way on earth for him to do it now. He couldn't bear to make Jack upset again.

“Yeah, I mean, I'm a little rusty, but so long as you don't ask me to play something too difficult or something like  Wonderwall , it should be okay.”

“Oh man, that'd be great! You're a lifesaver, Gabriel! Thank you so much!” Jack's smile beams so brightly that Gabriel can feel his insides melting from how warm he feels.

“Yeah, no problem,” he replies coolly.

Except, there is a problem. Two problems. Two very big problems that come to mind the second he sits down in the cafe area. He tries not to scream when he bites into the quiche — partially from the realization, and partially from his own stupidity at not letting the very very hot pastry cool down a little first.

“Jesse, I'm gonna need my guitar back,” Gabriel says as he approaches Jesse’s desk.

“Huh?” Jesse looks up at him as if he'd grown two heads. “Boss, you sold it to me, remember? ‘Less you plan on giving my money back…”

“Okay, let me rephrase,” Gabriel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Will you let me borrow my-  your  guitar? I need for about a week and I'll give it right back.”

Still looking at him with a raised eyebrow, Jesse replies, “Yeah, sure. I'll bring it in tomorrow.”

“Thanks. I owe you,” Gabriel replies. He tries to get away before Jesse decides to ask any questions, but only makes it two steps before Jesse speaks up again.

“Whacha needin’ it for anyway? Planning on serenading someone with it?” he laughs.

Gabriel frowns. “No. Jack's act for Tuesday night bailed on him, and I offered to help him out.”

"By playing guitar?” There's a beat of silence before the confused expression on Jesse's face changes to one of revelation. “Jack, as in the bakery owner, Jack? Boy howdy, boss, you really  are  planning on serenading him! How romanti-”

Before Jesse even has a chance to finish that word, Gabriel lifts the hat off of Jesse's head and jams it into his face. “I'm not serenading anyone. I'm just helping him out of a tight spot. Got it?”

Jesse nods his head in affirmation from beneath the hat, giving a thumbs up and a muffled, “Gotcha, boss.”

With that taken care of, Gabriel goes to Ana's office, taking a deep breath before stepping inside.

“Ana, I need Tuesday off,” Gabriel says, clasping his together in a way that can't be misinterpreted as anything but begging, “I'll take traffic duty for a week and babysit Fareeha for a weekend if you let me have it off.  Please .”

Ana raises an eyebrow, clearly curious as to why Gabriel would make such a sudden request. Rather than ask, however, she merely replies with, “Make it two weekends and you've got Tuesday off.”

“Yes! Thank you!” Gabriel fights the urge to pump his fist happily as he walks back out of the office.

He later realizes, when he looks at the calendar stuck to the front of his fridge at home, why exactly it was so easy to get Ana agree to let him have the day off.

...he was already scheduled to have off that day. He hadn't been lying when he told Jack he had the day off, but self-doubt and his own paranoia had landed him with traffic duty and two weekends of babysitting.

Oh well.

Sure enough, Jesse makes good on his word, and Gabriel spends the next several days practicing on his old acoustic guitar to prepare and reacquaint himself with the hobby he had dedicated so many years of his teenage life to.

The notes, the chords, hand positions and movements come back to him just as naturally as a duck takes to swimming. When he sits down in the chair on the tiny stage inside of Jack's Bakery, he finds his nerves as steady and as calm as ever. Countless eyes and smiling faces look up at him, waiting eagerly for his song to start, but only one pair of stormy blues really matter to Gabriel.

Briefly, he locks gazes with Jack, who’s watching him from behind the counter, smiling fondly at him, and he feels his heart skip a beat at the brief moment of eye contact. Jack gives an encouraging nod at him, and Gabriel takes a deep breath before smiling back at the children's faces in the front row and strums his first note.

“ Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter… ” he begins to sing.

For the next few hours, Gabriel sings a mix of oldies but goodies, and some of the newer songs that the children were familiar with and could sing along to. Inwardly, he thanked Fareeha for indirectly enlightening him on current music, as the smiles on the numerous faces in the bakery brought a happiness and excitement he hadn't felt in years since he stopped playing the guitar.

Occasionally, movement will catch the corner of his eye and he spots Jack going about his business in the bakery. Sometimes Jack moves to the beat of the music, sometimes he dances along with an over-excited child whose parents are too immersed in Gabriel’s song to help expend the extra energy, and sometimes — the thing Gabriel loves seeing him do the most — Jack will quietly sing along when he thinks everyone is too busy watching Gabriel to notice.

But Gabriel notices, perhaps a bit too much, and each and every time he spots Jack around the store, he feels the rhythm of his heart stutter just a little bit faster.

Gabriel's performance ends around 8 o’clock, when the families all start heading home for bedtime. Some of them stop by on their way out to chat and thank Gabriel for his wonderful performance, others express their gratitude for the things Gabriel has helped them with while on-duty. Nevertheless, the smiles on their faces speak well enough about Gabriel's performance that he almost feels like picking up the guitar again.

“That was really wonderful,” Jack comments as he tosses away a few lingering bits of trash from the floor and flips the sign on the door from Open to Closed. “Thank you again for helping me out, I really appreciate it.”

The warm smile on Jack's face sparks a heat in the tips of Gabriel's ears and he tries to keep his voice as level as possible when he replies with, “Ah, it was nothing. I had fun and I'm glad I could help.” He slings the guitar to his back and out of the way so he can help rearrange the chairs to how they should look, but only manages to orient two before Jack stops him.

“No, I really do mean it.  Thank you ,” he smiles as he fetches something from behind the register and walks back over to Gabriel. “Here, as thanks.”

Gabriel can already tell from sight alone what it is Jack plans on giving him, and he immediately holds up a hand to refuse the envelope and the check inside it. “Nope. You don't need to thank me.  Seriously ,” he he repeats, “I was happy to do it.”

“But I need to pay you back somehow. You did me a favor, and it wouldn't feel right paying you with stuff I sometimes give you for free anyway,” Jack protests, frowning.

“You don't have to pay me back anything, Jack.”

“But-!”

Knowing Jack isn't likely to give up, Gabriel thinks for a moment before he comes up with a solution.

“Okay, fine. I know how you can pay me back,” he says, smirking.

“How?”

‘ By going on a date with me ,’ his heart wants him to say.

“Sing along with me next time.”